So I hook up with this chick and while we are laying down afterwards, I ask her, if she's ever been in love. She says yes and it was with her highschool sweetheart. When she went to college, she broke up with him to be able to hook up with other dudes, but obviously said it like, "to be able to have fun or free from attachment" or something, but, anyways, he was devastated. She's been with many men now and has a sort of boyfriend every year. She said, even now, he would be her ideal marriage partner and would marry him if she could, but knows she can't initiate contact after breaking up with him, which I respect. However, why would you walk away from someone you love and that you think is perfect for spending and building your life with? It's just asinine to me. I get if you break up, if you don't really love them or otherwise aren't compatible long term to have fun or whatever, but you end a relationship with someone you legit love and idealize as a marriage partner seems so ridiculous to me. I get she was young when she did this and I'm biased knowing it's so hard to find a ideal partner and be in love with them and she probably doesn't realize this, but still, why would you just walk away from that?! Is random hookups in your 20's worth jeopardizing your life potential after being 35-years-old? She told me we are meant to love multiple people and where you are in life and the context of it matters for finding the right one, which is exactly what my ex told me multiple times when she dumped me and when I tried getting back with her and what I've heard from pretty much every woman when the subject of love comes up, including my own mother. They are more so trying to convince themselves though more than me when they say these things, though, I think, to be okay with not having their true love or best love as their marriage partner and having foregone it for cock riding that wasn't worth it in hindsight.

I don't think most girls really realize what they're giving up, which is why they become so messed up in the head when they start trying to find love and can't get it anymore and just get treated like cumdumpsters. I see so much panic in girls once they start experiencing this or realizing it and the panic and anxiety just makes them crazier and self implode more, getting further and further away from finding real genuine love and companionship. My ex did the same thing to me to ride the cock carousel and had fun for a few months abroad (the happiest time of her life) only to completely implode as I've described. She even told me the very last time we talked, that she hasn't been able to find the connection we had even after 3 years and in her prime and really being "a relationship type person after all." She more so whispered it to herself after we were talking about something unrelated and is slowly realizing more and more what she gave up and how it wasn't worth it. They think love is replaceable and easy to find and are so naive. It sucks cause it just hurts everyone, including themselves. Other women and thirsty dudes tell them what they want to hear to overcome this painful truth, but no matter how much they try and rationalize it, they know deep down. Whatever, it is what it is.

*also, after hooking with her, I realized how just empty and worthless sex is compared to real love and sex. I would not trade love for hookups.