Hi there. New-ish to the community. Ended my 9 year relationship last year when I found out she was sleeping with other people. She played dumb the whole time during confrontation as if nothing was her fault. Anyways. Here I am one year on she got married to a big big dude. Not muscular but the other type of big. They are now having a kid..... Great. Anyways about 6 months ago I bought a spite house. She always wanted to have a house and I decided to pull the trigger on that after the break, living homeless and sometimes by the grace of my friends on their couches. Here I am the house the job the hobbies.however every now and again I get really down like really really fucking down. To the point where the home and the job don't even matter. Sometimes I just want to end it all and damn the consequences. One of the nice things about that old relationship was she was a comfort. When my genetic depression kicked in I had someone there. Now there is nothing. I shouldnt say nothing because I fill it with work and my co workers who have become great friends. But today was especially terrible. I won't go into details but for those out there with depression and those who feel like there is no one there who cares... how do you shake it?