Sorry for my ramblings in advance.

As I was reading a book about negotiating and watched a few hostage negotiating scenes, it really got me thinking how I want a job based off of skill than compliance. I think I “accidentally” found a fragment of where I want my life to go. In a direction where I can learn actual skills and actually be skilful. Maybe that’s why I am drawn towards the arts and performances.

My current job is a trainee psychological well-being practitioner. A half a therapist. It honestly is a call centre job with the added arrogance of “helping” people with mental illness. I don’t feel it’s a skill because all we do is read scripts on a screen, do admin work and must comply to whatever inane shit thrown at us by management. They could probably programme an AI to do this job and it would not be any different.

I have always felt that I was taught to be compliant, not skilful. Am I crazy or does that make sense somehow? Is 25 a “normal” age to realise what you truly want? Yeah, idk why they insist teenagers go to uni when they barely have life experiences. After two degrees in psychology I am thirsty for a genuine degree. I don’t think I learned many skills from my degrees. It just made me realise that in order to get attention, you have to be a “golden boy” and publish papers. I was average and yeah, I didn’t have the drive. I just did them because I wanted to learn more about people and other soft excuses. I actually learned more outside of education than my time in it.

Before I can change careers to software engineering, I got a lot of work to do first. Knuckle down and learnt he basics of genuine communication, behavioural economics, maybe a bit of game theory and similar. Make it through my training, become qualified and work for an agency. Then focus on getting my maths and physics a-levels.

I wish schools weren’t so Darwinian and motivated by currency.

Anyways, all the best and thanks for reading =)