Women started the marriage strike and men finished it.

I hear lots of MRA's talk about the marriage strike and how men are turning their backs on marriage. As an MRA I must admit that I found this to be an exciting revelation. But I soon took a more critical view and asked, is this true? I've read a lot over the last few months unfortunately I don't have many of the sources but Google is your friend. What I've come to understand is that men are not really so much on strike as both men and women are on strike at different times in their lives. It didn't come together for me until I listened to Paul Elam's special edition AV4M radio a couple of weeks ago. He said "Women started the marriage strike and men finished it." But what does that mean?

What I've found simply is that men still want to marry, indeed if my memory serves about 90% of men still rate marriage and family as being very high on their list. But this number is somewhat misleading. It's not about 90% of men, its 90% of men 24 and younger. After 24 men's rating of marriage drops considerably first a little then a lot. By the age of 30 it is a minority of men who want to marry.

So what's happening to cause the marriage strike if 90% of young men want to

marry why then are so few men marrying? The reason is quite simple, the opposite is true of women. Of women who are aged 18 to 24, indecently their prime child bearing years, on mass don't want to marry. It is the extreme minority of women at that age who wish to marry. However, as women age, get out of school, on with their careers, and closer to menopause their desire to marry starts to increase. In fact near the late 20's 28, 29 and early 30's most women rate marriage as extremely important in their lives. So what we see is that men want to marry when their younger and women want to marry when their older. This means that the line crosses for a shorter amount of time. There are fewer men and women who have equal desire to marry at the same time.

But it gets worse! Several studies and even a statistical analyses of the

dating site OkCupid show that men on average prefer women who are about 2.3 years younger than them. While women on average prefer men who are about the same number of years older than they are. So what this means is that a women who is 20 is seeking a man who is 22 to 24 years old and a man who is 22 to 24 is seeking a women who is about 18 to 20 years old. But most young women don't want to marry. So the 22 to 24 years old men don't marry, they can't find a women. 

This differential, however, keeps going up into the 30's. Remember in the

beginning how I discussed that men's desire to marry starts to fall off rapidly at about 25 years old? Women's desire to marry starts to increase at about 26 to 27. But a 26 to 27 year old woman is not looking for a 26 to 27 year old man. Their looking for a 29 to 30 year old man. There's the problem while the desire to marry among mid to late 20 year olds is nearer to even the mid to late 20s women is looking to marry an early 30's man. But by the early 30's men don't want to marry.

So what were left with is a lot of young men who want to marry, but who cannot find wives, and a lot of relatively older, mid to late 20's women who want to marry but cannot find husbands. Indeed, the essence of the marriage strike is not men turning their backs on marriage. It's a synthesis of women turning their backs on marriage combined with men also turning their backs on marriage. But the effects are the same!