Hello everyone. A few days ago My ex ended our relationship. It was a relationship filled with highs and lows. When we first met I felt a click. I really felt comfortable with her. I didn’t think dating would happen, but after a couple of dates it seemed to be a possible reality. Once we started dating however, the “ugly” came out. She stated she has a dysfunctional relationship with her dad, an eating disorder, jealousy issues, and big trust issues. These issues stem from other partners cheating and her own father cheating on her mother. She also said she was to abused by a partner and said that she was r worded in college because she got drunk one night. I had difficulty processing this but I decided to trust her and be there for her. I always tried to cook for her and make sure she ate. I tried to talk to her about her relationship with her father. I tried my best. I had issues with her past but I slowly over came it. We had a great time over the summer despite our problems. We went on fun dates. She caught her first fish when we went and everything felt so meaningful and special. I really love her but there were issues. She demanded the passwords for my Snapchat and Instagram accounts. She did this because she saw girls in my Snapchat. We weren’t even dating at the time. For some backstory, I recently transferred out of college and was reaching out to some girls I knew asking if they would recommend their school as a possible school that I could transfer too. I had no interest in these girls romantically. It was a tricky situation to be in. If I didn’t give it I was accused of being “suspicious.” I decided to give in. I was always accused of cheating. We would go on gym dates and I would get in trouble for looking in the direction of another girl. I felt like a cheater. Despite the problems we stayed together throughout summer. Once the summer ended, we were faced with an issue…..long distance. We decided to do it because she goes to college and it’s only 1 hour away from the house. The problems began again. The communication wasn’t horrible but It could better. We would FaceTime for an hour a day but she would never really pay attention. She would ignore what I was saying if her roommates or friends were talking to her. She never invited me to stay the weekend or come to a party with her. We would always have to meet up halfway. To meet up at a place that is 40 minutes away for the both of us was strange to me. Why can’t we just hang out near your school? This was strange to me. My friends found it weird. My friends would practically live with their partners in college. I can’t confirm it, but something felt fishy. I had no problem with her talking to guys in her school that she claimed were friends from class. I found it unfair that she could talk to guys, but I couldn’t converse with girls. Some guys from a fraternity she used to attend parties at claimed she gets “passed around.” It hurt me to hear that about my girlfriend. I brought up the claims but she denied it. Another problem was she was always out partying and making jokes about cheating. One night she posted a video of a frat guy and I really felt cheated on. Not because of the guy, but my gut was telling me something was going on. I feel guilty now because I downloaded tinder to get back at her. I didn’t use it but I was feeling so overwhelmed with negative emotion that I acted out. Sorry for the long discussion but I am not in the best place right now. We broke up because she looked up my Snapchat data online and saw that I looked up a girls name while dating. I shouldn’t have done it but i tearfully apologized. I didn’t find it fair that she could like pictures of shirtless guys from her school. I apologized for everything I did. I even drove down to her school to try to fix things in person. That was strange too because she was already outside waiting and rushed me into her dorm room. It felt like she didn’t want me to see someone. She flipped out about the tinder thing and I left with a broken heart. I was accused of being a cheater. I was called a liar and a disgusting pig. I’m still hurt. I had sympathy for her problems and I love her like no other. I’m not perfect but I’m sorry for everything that I did that was wrong and I told her that. I would never cheat on her. I’m even more hurt because I found out that she has a backup account where she follows her exes and my exes and pretends to be a girl named “Eileen.” My question is where did I go wrong? How do I recover from losing someone I loved.