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SecretFeminine Archive

View 11 posts and 420 comments by SecretFeminine on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

It is a sub to help women get along better with important men in their lives. For married/partnered women this means more gratifying and successful relationships. For single women this means defining what they want and if it matches with what they have to offer, then find the best match in sweet spot of where those two meet.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/25 10:09 AM
4

Being in shape is really important for a lot of things. I would not say that being fit alone makes you top shelf though. It is one requirement of many.
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/25 08:29 PM
16

This is sort of like people who say they'll never yell when they become a mother. You really don't know yet.
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/25 08:28 PM
3

They are hardly dating...during this soft re-dating, that might turn a man off (too much, too soon).
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/24 09:39 AM
21

Step 1: take responsibility for your role in your past. Step 2: stop trash talking your ex (especially as the father of your child). Step 3: go nun mode to focus on improving yourself (your skills, your femininity, your mental health, etc).
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/24 07:05 PM
17

Maybe a man who meets your standards won't ask but they certainly think it and put your attributes on the scale. So the question still stands. You cook and dust. Hobbies? Pleasantness? Faith?
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/24 12:18 AM
17

She's single and wanting to be partnered. So I wouldn't put too much stock in this brand of honesty.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/24 12:08 AM
11

Cant tell you how most find such men but i can tell you how i did. I married a man from a "good" family and we are top 1% in earnings. We got together before he started to earn a lot (both of us really blossomed with each other). He's smart and it was clear he had the ability and drive.
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/24 11:58 PM
–

"Wrong answers only" seems like you're trying to disparage women. In RPW, we talk about what we can do individually in addition to respecting ourselves and our partners here. Love Tomatillo's answer!
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/24 11:54 AM
1

I have lived in a number of different places so sometimes yes and sometimes no.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/24 09:10 PM
2

I did it with a 3 month old and it was much easier with them breastfeeding! My main point is just that people hold off on kids until they do a laundry list of things. But most of them can be done and thoroughly enjoyed with children.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/24 05:57 PM
2

This seems like perpetuating a myth, as if you cant travel with kids. I travel internationally with my kids multiple times a year. And love their fresh perspective on where we visit. Of course it is more expensive with kids but I also think more fun.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/24 09:39 AM
50

It has been my observation that men who are "turned off" by a partner who makes advances are actually just low libidio. But it's a really neat trick to make it into your fault ("I would have had sex but you asked for it and now I don't want it"). I have not seen it be a question of desire but mismatched libido. So can you be ok with less sex than you want? If so, continue. If not, you're incompatible.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/24 08:40 PM
11

Some people talk about great potential matches only with respect to compatibility. But just as much (if not more) important is timing. Your timing is not aligned.
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/24 02:51 PM
3

I didn't read very much of this gigantic wall of text but here's a rpw bit of advice: your best friend is marrying this man and your problems with him seem to be superficial and all about you....if you say anything about him, make it nice. And don't even consider asking to postpone the wedding.
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/24 10:33 AM
2

"I try to gently nudge my awful friend to give her subtle hints and redirect but she only gets it when hit with a hammer." Good luck. I'd go with a designated friend to intervene and have a talk with her beforehand. "Aussie is going through a lot and this event is purely to support her and meet the baby. Any of our own stuff stays at the door and if not, then we go out the door. Agreed?"
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 12:59 PM
3

Perfect. Focus on that and if you're not having sex 3 times a week regardless of cycle, figure out how you can kindle the romance enough so that's the cadence.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/24 09:24 AM
21

Why in the world would you tell him? Do not tell him. Presumably you want to have a baby with him because he's your dream guy and you're in love and attracted to him. So put the cycle tracker down and focus on how you can show your love, respect, and attraction to him.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/24 12:25 PM
3

So inspirational! Thank you for sharing.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/24 09:28 PM
1

We live in the city otherwise I'd be all over gardening! For your crafting, what do you do with the crafts? I used to be an avid crocheter but I sort of ran out of people to gift things to and we have enough kitchen scrubbers to last a lifetime.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/24 07:32 PM
3

Why not take it to a consignment store? Best of both worlds. Or fire sale as is with bad photos. You can do this.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/24 09:28 AM
3

Yes! The best thing my husband and I did for our marriage was carve out more time together and also more time alone to do whatever we need to be our best (whether that's gym or scrolling).
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/24 12:15 PM
3

The thing you find about being a mother is that there was always enough time. I get you're tired but why force your husband to be there? You have one child. You could clean while child plays and husband relaxes. "Great idea, would you mind if I do the same afterwards?" If you're both tired and you can both get a chance to rest, I don't know why you wouldn't. You're pitting yourself against him and there's no reason to. You're on the same team.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/24 07:55 AM
8

I am a career woman myself as well as wife and mother so I have personally chosen a path of financial independence. That being said, your advice is amazing. We all live happier, healthier lives when we can stick to a budget and save. Thanks for sharing your insight!
/r/RedPillWives22/06/24 11:35 AM
10

You misunderstood. The problem is your behavior. Do not respond to them. "Wow, that was inappropriate." Or just turn around and walk away.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/24 06:53 PM
21

Not your question but related, my husband would not like me continuing discourse like this. They're talking to you like you're single and you're not. Shut it down and ignore.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/24 08:39 AM
17

How much would many of us pay to not waste time in unmatched, future-less relationships? If you stick with this guy before even engagement to save a few bucks, you are both less likely to end it until things are awful (because it "makes a lot of sense financially"). The investment to live separately is worth it. My 2p.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/24 10:44 PM
12

Your error was likely in your picking and not so much your behavior toward him. What can you learn from this?
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/24 11:29 AM
5

When we talk about giving wife privileges to boyfriends, this is what we mean. And what is it? When one side invests more than the other. I am never a proponent of withholding but you've given him a lot of free labor and all it cost him is words. If you're going to make it work, can you move back in with your parents? I am not a fan of break up then make up but it seems difficult to repair what you've got while you're still living in the eye of the storm.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/24 09:11 AM
4

Look up the cycle of abuse. It might help make sense of things for you and how things can go from so good to so rotten.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/24 08:54 AM
15

Before I met my husband, I worked on my wellness routines emotionally, financially, professionally, and spiritually. Not as much a routine but I spent time, money, and energy into refining a style that was polished and easy (capsule wardrobe fan over here). Routine for emotional health includes exercise and meditation (fit mind and body). Financial routine includes budgeting (and sticking to it) as well as goal setting (good reasons to stick to my budget). Professional routine was setting skills…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/24 01:33 PM
2

You: never married, body count of 15, stable job, own home. You're 46 so this all tracks and would indicate that you are a normal, responsible person. Him: currently married, alcoholic on parole, questionable work history, proposed but then decided he didn't want to marry you (and can't because he's already married). These are not beige flags...but then let's list the green flags: tall, has hair and trust fund. I thought we'd established that money and looks do not establish someone as high valu…
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/24 11:00 AM
3

They're doing it because you let them. I used to feel this way but then I stopped calling people who were energy vampires and shutting down whining. I've never had as healthy a group of friends as I do now. Boundaries.
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/24 09:49 PM
5

My 2 cents is that no one completes vetting until you're married. So you might say you've completed vetting but you've got loads of opportunity left to vet properly. You're 20 years old with a lot of baggage in a new relationship. Relationships and marriages can be happy and the work can feel light.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/24 12:38 PM
6

I haven't ever seen it. He has been clear with you and his mom: he won't consider it for 3 more years. And you don't want to wait 3 more years. And even if you do, no guarantee he won't add on a few more years.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/24 10:19 AM
14

Do you live separately and are you waiting for marriage? If neither, this seems overthought. I agree with Tomo that a marriage is about deepening the existing healthy relationship, not necessarily expanding it to include other "duties". I have understood the concept of "holding out wife duties" to be advice of investing your love and affection at an appropriate rate and return (meaning in step with your man's emotional investment in you). This isn't meant to cajole a proposal and marriage: it is…
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/24 12:30 PM
22

It is easy to make friends with men because men with ulterior motives will tell you what you want to hear. Women have no motivation to do so. Level up your friend game and learn to take some honesty and prove you're a friend worth getting to know. There are definitely non-liberal, non-clubbing women in your age demographic. But you need to go where they are (church, volunteer groups, etc) and it is harder work to get into the "inner circle". So do the work. I agree with Aphrodite...it's not trad…
/r/RedPillWives08/04/24 02:40 PM
2

I have never had thoughts like this and they seem unhinged. If I did start to have these thoughts, I'd get to a therapist.
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/24 08:30 AM
17

There's great news: despite any diagnosis, you can improve your situation. Whether it be through medication, behavioral therapy, coaching, or whatever proves to work, you can improve your stability and social graces. You study, you practice, and you improve. Once you feel you're a good partner, the kind of partner your ideal man is looking for, then start dating. Editing to add that I read your post history and your violence is one of those red flags. That would be my behavioral priority. There'…
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/24 02:49 AM
15

I'm sure the 5% seems small to him. But I imagine 50k doesn't seem small to you. If he offered it, I'd push for it.
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/24 11:57 PM
10

Yes. It narrows the pool of men who would potentially date you but I married an amazing man after having my first. I personally got better at vetting and though it is not rp, he said he knew he loved me because he saw me parent my child and he wanted that for his children (he has adopted our first now, as well). There are a couple other women I know who married under similar circumstances (their partner fell in love partly with their mothering abilities).
/r/RedPillWives22/03/24 10:04 AM
26

Vetting is not a point in time thing. And you're right, RPW won't make every man worthy of respect and marriage. But nothing will. The idea is to find your best match by being your best self and supporting him in the same. Your locus of control is inside, not outside. Do the work to learn how to choose and inspire good people, break your addiction to narcissists. Go nunmode while you improve yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/24 11:56 AM
10

I would advocate against buying anything you cannot afford. A man who is fiscally responsible will not count a gift you cannot afford to give as a point in your favor.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/24 04:47 AM
28

Yes, that seems way too harsh. By disqualifying him at this step, I'm not quite sure what you're vetting for. Did he get it in the end? If so, yay, he's competent after his first go.
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/24 11:39 AM
16

Lots of good answers and I will add that the way you talk about and to people is not feminine. Red pill offers tools that you can take or leave, as it is meant to be pragmatic, not dogmatic. A good portion of us do not consume rp content made for men and would not touch an internet rp man with a ten foot pole. Many of us are liberal. Calling people degenerate losers is unlikely to draw a close group of supportive friends and certainly doesn't highlight your ability to be a soft place to land. If…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/24 01:55 PM
1

Do you love marriage and want any marriage or do you want to love the person and then marry them? Any marriage is significantly easier than marriage to the right person. Sounds like he wasn't your guy so it is irrelevant that he's married and you're not. Another observation, youre making something about you that has nothing to do with you. "Was it karma or why did that happen to me?" You might feel more contentment if you did a mental reframe. His marriage did not happen to you. But his marriage…
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/24 02:32 PM
6

You are blowing this out of proportion. If i was dating someone, I would not be upset that my boyfriend said the truth. I do think there could be a cultural element though, as living together in many cultures is considered more or less the same as married (in which case, it would hurt my feelings to get roommate treatment).
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/24 02:57 AM
12

As it turns out stfu works in ever so many situations. Keep your opinions to yourself and your problem is solved. Work on living a good life and people will start to ask your "secret". Until then, stop picking fights. Being put in a psych ward over this would indicate that your problem goes beyond counter-culture beliefs.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/24 10:28 PM
0

In her field, I would be surprised if there weren't severe penalties to taking 2 years off.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 01:54 PM
6

I say this with love: your situation is not unique and I believe a number of us have happy marriages with the dynamic you describe. How you interact with your husband is totally separate and apart from how you conduct yourself at work. My husband loves that I can command a room during the day and dote on him at night. If something were to happen, he knows he has a reliable first mate, not a wilting flower. Not all men are into this but certainly enough are. The only thing I will say is that you …
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 01:53 PM
3

IMO, getting your finances together is a thing you do while single. Sounds like he's doing the things he needs to do. And you need to stay away and let him do that.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/24 09:20 PM
9

Lots of good comments. Also piping in to add that if he does not have a strong work ethic, he's definitely not someone who's going to contribute to "building an empire".
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/24 09:12 PM
4

I love Valentines day because I don't need much at all to get jazzed about celebrating love. My husband has fun but I realize it is mostly for me. I communicate clearly what I want and my expectations have always been met or exceeded.
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/24 09:49 PM
6

I don't see how being in a good mood all of the time is sustainable for you. Talk to him, ask what he needs. If it is reasonable, oblige. If it isn't, I'd insist on therapy. These waters get deep really quickly and it's helpful to have a guide.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/24 05:05 PM
13

Great! A lot of us are liberals and a lot of us are not. And most of us support what works for women to get into healthy, stable marriages (there are many ways to do this). Sounds like you're doing something that really works for you and your husband.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/24 11:48 PM
1

Camping and hiking come in a spectrum of risk, with most being very low. Of course it wouldn't be an important factor for all men, but I've noticed that higher earners tend to have a higher risk tolerance than the average population. So it seems it would behoove you to become more comfortable with more risk, if only to overlap interests with higher earning men.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/24 09:25 AM
1

Perhaps a sugar baby thread might have more actionable advice for your specific goal?
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/24 12:50 AM
18

Adding on that while it stretches, it also contracts. Once you give birth to a baby, it doesn't stay baby-sized and that is a much more impactful event than intercourse. I am sorry someone said this to OP, that has to mess with a person's head. If you're concerned, kegel exercises are easy and free.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 04:41 PM
7

Commenting to show my perspective as well as ec310 about how you are coming across on reddit (which is not real life): desperate and delusional. You mention a lot of characteristics you have that men would want but for whatever reason, you've not gotten into a good relationship. From the limited information we've got, it doesn't add up. If this is how you're presenting to men, I can almost guarantee that it is souring your chances with a good man. Most who are healthy, wealthy, and wise wants so…
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 10:26 AM
7

Why not focus on becoming wealthy and powerful yourself? I've never been a gold digger but it doesn't seem easy.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 10:17 AM
9

What is everyone's favorite flavor of ice cream? There's no answer because people are different. You're treating all men as if they are all the same thing. You've commented other unhealthy thought dynamics in other threads.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 10:15 AM
8

I looked at your post history and you're blowing up the internet about dating strategy, including this sub. It seems like it might be good to go nun mode and do some introspection about what you want (beyond rich) and what that man would want. Once you identify this, do the work to improve yourself to be the person he would want. Men are all different and the answers here are not going to help you find "your" man, only "a" man.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 10:12 AM
9

Yes, I never would have believed it but seeing it play out in my own life and the lives of people around me, it seems the "final gate" is the man's evaluation of your potential as a mother. I'd also add your ability to bolster his position (can you stand beside them and shine a good light on him).
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 10:05 AM
4

I don't know many men who would consider this behavior an indicator of someone with long term potential. As said above, it might work for hookups and dating but not for marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/24 09:13 PM
3

This is disordered thinking. Men want to feel chosen and respected. If you fall all over anyone, you choose no one. And if you're standoffish, you are likely not being respectful. Can you see a therapist to help you have a more symbiotic relationship with men?
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/24 04:52 PM
3

Former overly casual person chiming in: it is amazing what a little wardrobe change can do in terms of making you look put together. Comfortable and stylish running around clothes exist, you've just got to treat your selections like work clothes (you'd not buy an unflattering suit). Of course some women are runway ready and all of the time it takes but simple effort when purchasing your casual wardrobe goes a long way...it's easy to look put together when you've only got tidy clothes to choose f…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/24 10:44 AM
7

This is a bit too reductive and doesn't help op. Does the pool of partners get narrower as you get older? Yes. But the idea is to find the best match you can based on where you are and where you can be (how can I be the best person I can be based on where i am and how much time i have to commit to it). And further, very few people in big cities are getting married before 30. So it really depends on your location (which is a totally changeable thing).
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/24 10:40 AM
8

The problem is sometimes less what you are attracting and more about what you are accepting. Finding a good match takes time and making sure you're not wasting time on people who are not your match. In other words: this is not happening to you, you are repeatedly choosing this. Fix your picker.
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/24 10:33 AM
2

If sounds like you just want to complain. This community is solutions oriented. The solution is that smv is changeable. A 1 won’t likely be able to stretch to a 10 but she could get to a 5 and as you say with pretty privilege, that’s a huge change to her life. So take action.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/23 09:54 AM
2

I have owned a house before and my husband owns a house that he rents out and we rent a place. I like being able to move easily should we want to. I felt really chained to my house and I love that we don’t have to live in my husband’s house. It’s a personal decision so ymmv. It was so important to me to own a house before I bought one. And now home ownership has lost all of its charm.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/23 12:23 AM
8

I feel that this kind of mental game really only serves to drive the wedge between “left” and “right” deeper. Of course some people try to game politics for their gain (“wokephishing”) but I also believe that the majority of us are trying to be supportive, productive community members (the what) and we only differ in politics because the “how” is much more complicated to put into practice. I don’t think conservative women “turn” liberal men into Reagan Republicans and the discourse of one or the…
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/23 03:58 PM
56

I am a reformed slob. The key to my cleanliness is less stuff. Everything has a place and everything in its place.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/23 10:35 PM
1

Of course. Reciprocity is key. But at the end of the day, we can only control our own thoughts and actions.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/23 01:27 PM
7

For RPW, I have a high body count. And it has not affected my marriage in any way. I know what a catch my husband is and am committed to dating him every day of our lives. Yes, n count is a deal breaker for some men. And others just don’t even go there (it is not a conversation my husband and I have ever had, we didn’t even really talk exes).
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/23 01:07 AM
8

Why get into a situation ship if you want a real relationship? Plenty of commitment minded men out there so don’t waste time with someone who isn’t looking for what you want.
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/23 01:04 AM
1

Men are not animals. Some certainly like to sell that they can’t resist their natural urges but there are plenty of high value, faithful men. You’re right though, when we date our husbands, we have to remember that he has alternatives.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/23 09:28 AM
11

If he has savings, let him pay and you can put a stash aside in your own savings. Then if you get married, it won’t matter who spent what and he can maintain his masculinity (and motivation to find new employment).
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/23 10:39 PM
8

I don’t know many men (or women) who would choose a sex-free marriage. And my marriage is sacred to me so I’m thrilled to age gracefully with a whole lot of fun as the years pass.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/23 12:33 PM
0

Based on your post about you making fun of your long distance boyfriend, there’s more work to do. Keep pushing.
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/23 01:21 PM
0

In RPW we are encouraged to get more context by reading post history. Like you say, one post could never express nuance. Agreed that marriage and parenting are different skills though.
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/23 12:33 PM
3

I stand by my statement, and we have family spread across continents. There is nothing like an in-person meeting.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/23 10:15 PM
10

If you haven’t met them, they do not love you (yet anyway).
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/23 08:57 PM
6

Where do you see advice to not build a man up? That’s what, in my mind, we are here to do…build our men up through love, respect, and a soft place to land. With any religious mismatch, I think young folx like yourself are more likely to say it doesn’t matter until marriage is actually on the table and they have to put their values into action.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/23 12:12 PM
8

Whether he realizes it or not, this is crazy controlling abusive behavior. And his reasons for agreeing don’t really matter, since you lied about your motivation. Is this really the person you want to be?
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/23 10:06 AM
7

Well, if one only knows the men’s group, it does make sense. I try to avoid it.
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/23 03:48 PM
11

My husband and I did a tantra series to reconnect after years with littles. I only regret that we didn’t do it sooner. It was not porno style, it focused on reigniting and deepening connection. Some things anyone can do without spending any money: eye gazing (weird at first but amazing afterward), dancing, and figure 8 breathing (while one breathes in the other breathes out.) I find that my husband really follows my lead in the connection sphere meaning if I feel connected, he feels connected. S…
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/23 03:32 PM
4

You have some assumptions that I don’t agree with. Are you in a place where white Christianity is a minority? If not, I do not see this as a barrier. It might be worth some deep reflection on why you are having trouble obtaining a relationship. Your responses don’t add up.
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/23 09:39 AM
7

Are you willing to share your ethnicity? That might help with the advice. I had no restrictions on ethnicity, religion, etc so my dating life cast a very wide net.
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/23 12:00 AM
13

Your bmi is pretty low and skinny isn’t everything these days. A feminine body might mean focusing on exercises that increase curves. But looks alone don’t get a ring on your finger, only a foot in the door. There is obviously something that you’re missing because to hear you describe yourself, you’re an 8 who can’t get anyone to commit. I suppose you’ll have to tell us.
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/23 11:55 PM
19

Desperation sticks to people like the smell of onions. I would be surprised if you’re as smooth as you think. In some way, you will have to commit to Mr Right instead of anyone who will take you. The trick is to define what your demands can be while respecting what you can reasonable lock down. It sounds like you could level up your look. Although I don’t think a man commits because a woman has a “motherly” face so I would not worry too much about that particular aspect. Are you interested and i…
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/23 11:46 PM
28

Info: What do you think is pushing them away? You talk about the things you want to learn and your strengths but don’t talk too much about your weaknesses (only the fact that no one wants to commit). And depending on your area, 31 is a perfectly marriageable age.
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/23 11:29 PM
2

I would do with the shoe leg out, lol. But it really depends on the man. My husband’s mother is a fashion maven. He’d notice for sure. But he’s tall and also totally fine with me being a skyscraper 😂
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/23 08:57 PM
17

How long have you been together? I feel like this is a conversation every height-comparable couple need to have. Or even if just like high, high heels. I would send him a picture with the heels and without. “Which do you think looks better?”
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/23 07:54 PM
8

We all learn hard lessons and some of them are harder than others. You learned a lot and now it’s time to work on those boundaries and non-negotiables. Your wisdom came at a price but you can apply it to future relationships. As a former single mother in her 30s (I think the single most slammed group in rp world), I married an amazing man. It works, whether you’re an 18 year old virgin or a 30 something executive.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/23 02:49 PM
2

He is trying to promote his sub by commenting the same thing on many different posts.
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/23 10:55 PM
5

While it may be true that some hikes are more like casual walks, others are quite strenuous with difficult to navigate terrain. I would not wear a sundress or linen on the latter. A fall can basically give you road rash on some trails and a dress would provide 0 protection against that.
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/23 10:48 PM
13

Second this. When you meet the right person, things can go quite fast (or not). The main thing is focusing first on the right person and then everything else.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/23 12:05 AM
1

Try a course! Loads of prestigious schools offer their content for free.
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/23 09:48 AM
5

Dance, acrobatics, crochet, reading, investing, any water sport, and studying (I am normally enrolled at one or two courses at any given time). As agreeable said, hair/skincare could probably considered a very uninteresting hobby of mine for the time and money alone 😂.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/23 05:39 PM
4

Very difficult to make a middle class income in anything floral.
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/23 12:26 AM
2

Could you rework your day so that you end 15 minutes before he arrives? Then you have some wind down time to prepare.
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/23 04:57 PM
2

Exactly. There are marriage minded men who wouldn’t date a single mum. But she is a single mum and that fact alone will cause many men to weed themselves out. Which is great in her situation because she is where she is.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/23 01:03 PM
-1

Absolutely. Feminine women are in high demand and honestly, I think being a great parent attracted a higher caliber of man. You will repel a lot of men being a single parent but choose to consider this saving time (a lot of those men are not marriage minded). I am speaking from first hand experience, though I didn’t find rpw until after marriage and I’m happy for it because trp dogs single mums a lot and it’s all hot air.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/23 09:12 AM
11

You’ve mentioned the element of fairness several times in your responses and my experience is that it is best to just forget about the concept of fairness as equal. If you want everything equal, you’re going to be counting beans all your life. Is it more important to communicate effectively or for him to understand that he would be mad if you did the same?
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/23 08:59 AM
3

Hi! Former solo slow traveler. I do not think it is easy to appear high value on the regular and remain safe. I often told people my husband was out doing something else even though I was single at the time. I didn’t want anyone to know I was alone. I did date local people though which was as simple as dating in my home country: just dress up for the date and don’t give any of your details to anyone you don’t know really well.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/23 08:59 PM
1

Life as single parents is almost certainly more expensive than a sports car. I’d not be thrilled but I’d be asking him how we can rework the budget so this can happen. And like dbat said, once he gets support for his hard work, who knows if he will still even want the car.
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/23 10:10 PM
17

I get it. I grew up in a “new money” family (and all of the gauche, selfish behavior associated with it) and am a first gen college grad who married into an “old money” family. My in-laws really do have personalities of gold though and it sound like yours do too. So you have to either accept and believe in what your partner sees in you or end it because of your insecurities. I don’t see what you have to lose by letting it go and enjoying the ride.
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/23 11:03 PM
17

You didn’t deem it important enough to note that you are looking for a sugar baby type relationship. Admittedly, I am not very familiar with the dynamics of such an arrangement but I imagine that attitudes and expectations change greatly based on country and supply/demand. I’d recommend editing your post to add that in, as it seems very relevant.
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/23 04:48 PM
18

“I never text men first, because I believe women are the prize and need to be pursued by men. I never had a problem with this before but now I am finding that men simply don’t reach out to me anymore after I have thanked them for the amazing evening we shared (I always do dinner for first dates).“ Expectations after first date vary a LOT from culture to culture. Just because you tried it a few times and it didn’t work doesn’t mean that it isn’t culturally appropriate. It might be worth posting i…
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/23 01:32 PM
17

“No man strikes a conversation with me.” Umm…yes they do. But somehow you twist it such that they’re playing games with you and you ghost them. If you want to meet men, you’ll have to stop seeing malice and monsters everywhere.
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/23 03:55 PM
34

“My éx is a walking bundle of red flags. What did I do wrong?” I think you already know what we are going to say. Or at least I hope so. Editing to add my answer, which I should have done from the beginning. Vetting goes both ways. It is not only about you convincing someone of the value of your love. It is also them convincing you that they are worthy of it. Next time you’re in this situation, save yourself 20 months and break it off.
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/23 11:45 PM
20

I came to rpw for the purpose of making my marriage the best it could be so I was off the dating scene. That being said, many of us would never marry someone who identifies as rp. As such, I would never have added that to my dating profile. Also, when I read so many declared hobbies and interests, it sounds like someone trying to be generically appealing without having any real interests.
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/23 11:11 AM
14

I am sorry your relationship is a giant pile of crap. I would not say it has to be like that.
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/23 12:28 PM
14

We do loads of different exercises. Sometimes she has me just walk in a feminine way. We will talk through specific scenarios in my marriage and how to meet his masculine energy with my feminine one. Lots of it has to do with becoming comfortable with accepting things from him instead of going into “fix it” mode.
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/23 03:03 PM
2

I would never have dated anyone at my gym. We met surfing.
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/23 10:40 PM
31

I used to be very into a combat sport. I don’t think you should even consider bringing femininity there but rather creating a barrier between yourself in the cage and yourself in the rest of the world. It’s not what you probably want to hear but feminine interaction became way easier to embrace when I quit and started acrobatics and dance. That being said, I met and started dating my husband when I was still very active in combat sports so it doesn’t preclude you from a hvm. But the transition f…
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/23 10:00 AM
4

So I spend a lot of money on beauty. But not everything costs a fortune. The best cheap things I do are rosemary oil on hair (massaging into scalp), curl crown, exfoliate skin, a moisturizer that is right for my skin type (I used the wrong stuff for years), drink a lot of water, eat a lot of vegetables, and change my satin pillow case every other day. If you’re looking to drop some money, I swear by my nanoblading (individual hairs tattooed onto eyebrows, super natural looking), lip tint, and ey…
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/23 10:46 PM
7

I am an executive and have a rp relationship with my husband (who has no idea about anything rp). I mention this because I often see “having a career” here put on the opposite end of the spectrum of “rp relationship”. What happens during either of our days doesn’t necessarily dictate the way we interact with each other. Why don’t I beat a drum about being a feminist in a rp relationship? I guess because of the very nature of rp (in my mind). How we interact with each other is between my husband …
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/23 10:11 AM
4

It is a valid concern. Why do you think you’re ready to get married now? And have you discussed how you and your fiancé will grow together instead of apart as you go through life? It’s something everyone should discuss before marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/23 11:43 PM
2

I don’t necessarily think they do. Or at least ask the question, “is the type of attention that [insert any group] receives the type that I want?” You do sound a bit sour grapes. Are you frustrated that you can’t get a commitment? Or are you frustrated you’re not turning any eyes? Either way, the answer is always to level yourself up. So how can you level up?
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/23 05:26 PM
7

You are out of line. And showing that you don’t understand a parent’s priorities or what coparenting entails. As a parent, that should be a red flag to him. Chill out and absolutely do not ask to meet his son (let him lead on this). Also, every time you get jealous of his friend, turn your mind. You’re a fling right now. Don’t disqualify your chance before you even step up to bat.
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/23 12:03 AM
7

Henryfinance or fatfire are where I go for advice. There are women but the groups seem to be mostly men. If you look at redpillwives it is basically dead so I cannot imagine an even more niche group having many contributors. Start volunteering and playing golf or tennis and you’ll connect with plenty of women. I’ve had luck in dance as well.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/23 11:38 PM
10

It is unbalanced. Pump the brakes. Whatever it feels like, you cannot know someone in 2 months. You can feel like you know an idea of them but there’s too much you don’t know yet.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/23 10:42 PM
1

Anyone can be polite and genial in short sprints. Meeting someone is not the same as knowing them. I met this fellow’s parents as well and they were lovely people from what I knew. 5 months is not, in my opinion, long enough to know someone.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/23 10:40 PM
7

I dated someone similar. Top honors at a top mba program, tall, athletic, handsome, charming, extremely high earner and a complete and total nut case. You really don’t know what you don’t know. And you never knew him well enough to know what’s under the hood.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/23 10:53 PM
6

That’s gives me an ick feeling. My husband, whom I consider to be the most amazing man in the world, uses honey instead of vinegar and it leaves me feeling loved and cared for. Not micromanaged and abused.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/23 10:29 PM
12

Very pragmatic advice. Commit to quit for 6 months to a year. See if it makes a difference and go from there.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/23 11:18 AM
5

Trilingual parent here. Each parent speaks a different language with the children and the third happens at school.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/23 07:38 PM
7

What is your hesitancy to speak to your spiritual leader when this is clearly a spiritual issue for you?
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/23 02:45 AM
24

Since you asked about our statuses, my husband and I are mid 30s with two small children. And this is absolutely a hill I would die on.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/23 11:47 PM
66

If you want the community to support this, I suspect you’re as likely to get blood from a stone. Protect your children and keep them away from a convicted rapist.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/23 11:34 PM
1

As a business owner, sometimes it is very easy and sometimes it is insanely difficult. If he is providing, I imagine an “easy” job would be preferable, especially when you have kids.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/23 08:44 AM
2

On the flip side, how would someone ever step up if you never give them a chance because they might screw up?
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/23 08:42 AM
2

I suppose it is a whole lot easier than a devastating car crash. You go little by little. He won’t be perfect but give him a chance to step up.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/23 10:42 PM
22

Then she needs to accept that men with her earning potential or greater are very likely to be used to delegating tasks.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/23 10:29 AM
5

This was my thought and my experience as well. My husband says the same when I do any cleaning. It’s foolishness to clean instead of spend time together when it’s not a task on either of our to-do lists.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/23 10:28 AM
16

You have some pretty narrow definitions of masculinity and femininity. If the only masculine man in your eyes is someone who does manual labor with no fashion sense, you’re unlikely to marry someone in your own income bracket. Which is likely to be more ok with you than him. Surrender is a thing done willingly. At least in my case, I found a great guy and he inspired me to do everything I could to have a happy life with him. This means letting him do things as acts of love that I could do myself…
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/23 10:23 AM
6

You are correct. Men are allowed to contribute if they are older, married, AND knowledgeable about rp when it contributes to the women of this sub. You are not all 3 of those things so your input is, per the rules, not allowed.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/23 06:35 PM
6

So his beef actually isn’t with you wearing modest clothing. It is the feelings he associates with said clothing and perhaps he doesn’t know how to express it any other way than “dress sexier”. It seems like that gives a lot of room on both sides for flexibility.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/23 06:32 PM
2

I am not a man but I wonder if he might be suggesting that you dress sexier at home? Maybe he doesn’t want to feel your bag dress power in that one place. I would experiment by changing into something “sexier” when you get to his home and see if that scratches the itch.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/23 06:28 PM
15

This post could use some formatting. But from what I gather, you expect him to read your mind, even when you say the exact opposite. It is never fair to say, “no, don’t worry, I will do x myself” and then be upset when the person takes you at your word. Start being accountable to yourself on this. Many men of that age were first taught as kids about chivalry being great and then they were told it is sexist. It seems reasonable that whether he purposely is trying to avoid gender roles or he is ju…
/r/RedPillWives26/01/23 09:53 AM
27

For me, the key to cleanliness is less stuff. Everything we own has a designated place. I’m not talking about an overstuffed drawer. I mean a place where it goes in an organized way. If it isn’t organized, the mess grows and spreads so I have to keep it impeccable. I have a basket where I put things during the day that need to go back to their place. At the end of the day, I put it all back in the right place. All the best in this journey! I found being extremely clean and organized really reduc…
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/23 02:05 PM
15

It sounds like this man will rape you and you should stay away from him. You learned you’re not asexual though so you can walk away with that knowledge.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/23 08:45 PM
6

We love men and don’t think they’re all damaged goods. But we also like this as a woman-centric place. You being thankful doesn’t really have anything to do with bettering the women here. And that is the purpose of the sub. There are men who contribute and even post but it is always centered around enriching the women here. I do appreciate you maintaining your respectfulness though because many men start foaming at the mouth when they realize most of us only have red pilled relationships with ou…
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/23 02:05 AM
10

It is because this space is to help women solve women’s issues. The idea is that unmarried (or uncoupled) men don’t have the necessary perspective to give informed advice.
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/23 01:40 AM
105

Get outside of your head. He’s with you now so you can decide if you want to sabotage this thing with insecurity or make the most of what you’ve got to level up.
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/23 01:22 PM
4

I guess I consider it a baseline. Looks, manners, higher education. Checking the boxes gets you in the door but it’s far from what closes the deal. What moved me from a girlfriend to wife? The parenting aspect.
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/23 02:46 PM
7

For my husband, he says it is because he knew he wanted me to be the mother of his children. Plenty of attractive and agreeable women in the world, so that’s nothing distinguishing.
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/23 12:10 PM
6

The hardest lesson I have learned is that sometimes people actually do NOT want to know things. And your penance is carrying the information alone. Sharing information with people that they don’t want to know (and doesn’t benefit them) is not honesty, it is cruel. That might not be the case here but it is definitely the case often.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/23 09:48 AM
6

I would feel like breeding stock if someone spoke that way. What if you broke up? You’d be at square one. It’s not like you’ve been dating years. You can always do 3 under 3.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/23 11:52 AM
13

She could have said, “most men realize that they actually don’t want to know and therefore do not ask.”
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/23 09:36 AM
15

Stop with any details. “It was a time I’d prefer to not relive.” Remember, you’re vetting each other. You’ve made all of these wonderful changes but you cannot change history.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/23 10:47 PM
14

Info: what inspires you to work so hard in this courtship? You don’t talk a lot about him, mostly about what you’re doing. You have your past and he does not find it suitable. He makes jabs about things that you can’t change and you try to overshadow it with good behavior which he does not appreciate.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/23 09:55 PM
7

I have done it with good results, that’s all I can say. Good results meaning he isn’t turning frustration towards me that has nothing to do with me. I will add that our situation is such that this wouldn’t actually change much for me so ymmv.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/23 09:50 PM
10

“I have this job opportunity, a 9-5. It could give you the chance to explore your passions.” I have genuinely thrown this lifeline to my husband whenever he is feeling overwhelmed and it helps him realize that it is a moment of stress that has nothing to do with me and not something he actually wants to upend his career over. We all hit our limits and have different ways of coping (some healthier than others).
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/23 09:42 PM
3

Agree with undo. We’ve done plenty of 24+ hour flights with our kids. Infants were a breeze and cheap, lol. Then there’s 12-24 months when they don’t understand why they can’t run and play. But the spontaneity is definitely easier before they’re in school! Enjoy it!
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/23 07:46 PM
2

I used to get nannies wherever we were going. I didn’t leave the kids with them, just an extra set of hands. There’s loads of countries where this type of help is very affordable.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/23 07:42 PM
2

I’d definitely get rhinoplasty if I felt it would help facial symmetry. I have a nice nose but did get breast augmentation after two children. With respect to augmentation, I would recommend waiting until after children (if you want children). My husband would never say it but I think he would have judged me if I had augmentation when we met. Now he loves it because they’re “his boobs”. Just my perspective.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/23 06:02 PM
2

This has been my observation. To hear my husband’s friends talk, no one dates young women seriously. Marriage age is within 5 years.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/23 05:57 PM
26

I do think we see a lot of internalized misogyny here and do a good job to say “that’s not rpw”. How often do we see posts from women about how to submit to a man who has done nothing to prove himself reliable and respectable?
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/23 05:51 PM
35

Good looks are a foot in the door but they don’t help you keep a man. Agree with your therapist.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/23 01:11 AM
56

Time for tough love. Get over him. After a year, he was still on dating apps. Nothing else matters. Pick yourself up and move on.
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/23 03:44 PM
15

I waffled on how to answer this because like anything, the short version doesn’t capture the whole picture. I don’t balance them. I own a successful business in a male-dominated industry so I get all the feminist kudos. And then I come home to my executive-level, genius husband whom I respect above everyone else. So letting him captain the ship is natural. Plus honestly, how we make decisions and our relationship dynamic is no one else’s business. Editing to add that this post lacks tact but at …
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/22 09:09 PM
27

Pragmatism. I know feminism isn’t allowed but hopefully the mods will allow it in this context. I consider myself a feminist and solutions oriented. My husband and I are both happier when there’s one captain.
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/22 02:43 PM
11

Is that a “you” problem (you take everything personally) or a “him” problem (he talks down his own bad behavior and chalks it to your reaction)?
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/22 06:35 PM
2

More info then: does he know he was behaving differently? Can you have a sit down talk about what happened? From what you said, it’s not behavior I would be ok with. But many times, I hear the other perspective and realize we experienced the same events very differently.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/22 06:21 PM
4

Not sure of his culture but it might be worth reading about high and low context cultures. In low context cultures, your words are your words and it’s not offensive or rude unless it’s pretty clearly said. In high context culture, words don’t matter at all, it is all about the situation, tone, and body language. If this is a man you are going to marry, you need to come together on these cultural differences. My husband would be humiliated if I were rude. Not because he doesn’t love me but manner…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/22 06:17 PM
12

Info: did you talk to him about this during the holiday? If not, why not? If so, what did he say?
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/22 06:12 PM
4

The reality is that we prove what we are capable of through our own accomplishments. I suppose it depends on your end game but my husband mentions over and over how important he felt this was to model for children. Also, he knows that I can navigate social circles, where it is difficult to form friendships without some accomplishments of one’s own.
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/22 03:55 PM
28

I met my husband after 30. Be interesting, accomplished, responsible, and attractive doesn’t hurt. All of these can be cultivated if you feel you don’t have them now.
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/22 12:08 AM
34

Sounds like you’re dating out of your league. Certainly there are women who would date a man who makes $90k/year, which is higher than the average household income.
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/22 12:07 AM
13

This sounds extra for where you’re at. A card that you can find before Christmas and the cologne. No gift card and no Christmas card after Christmas. Order the Pokémon card and if you stick it out until Valentine’s Day, give it then.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/22 12:38 PM
3

I am certainly not a trad wife but I cannot imagine having to report on reasonable expenses. Has it always been this way? Is this something you both agreed to?
/r/RedPillWives20/12/22 08:07 PM
3

My life became a lot easier when I dialed back the friendliness a bit for this reason.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/22 09:46 AM
8

It has been my observation that marriages involving someone who does not believe in marriage do not last. I see your reasons but are you selling yourself on a rationalization you’re making? Or is he just not into the party?
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/22 10:42 PM
20

You post a lot and delete your posts. Seems a good indicator to stop worrying about things real and imagined, go to nun mode and work on yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/22 10:29 PM
7

Not enough info. If you do sexy eyes to everyone, then that is out of line to me. It is begging for male attention. But if you’re just a beautiful woman, you shouldn’t change that.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/22 10:19 PM
1

Depending on your goals, basically the higher your socioeconomic standing, the later you get married. You are quite young to marry for upper middle and upper class folks. Travel, do things that interest you, make the most of your education, level up, and date.
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/22 12:46 AM
61

Take Laterals advice and figure out how you can continually level up. Beauty is an asset that depreciates but like I said, that is only a tiny portion of attraction and allure in established relationships. Also, if you’re choosing cheaters, fix your picker.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/22 12:30 AM
65

Info: how old are you? This concerns me less as I get older. And I am constantly dating my husband. There’s more to femininity and seduction than a young, hot body.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/22 12:19 AM
2

Yes, exactly. The pigment they use lasts about a year so you’re not stuck with it forever if you don’t like it but you have a good long time where you don’t need to apply makeup (if you’re into a more natural look, of course).
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/22 09:08 AM
2

I did nanoblading on my eyebrows and tattoo on my cheeks and lips, dyed eyelashes. I wake up ready to roll and made up. One of my friends said, “I now understand why people look so good in this no makeup trend”.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/22 06:59 PM
1

We see a lot of women passing by who seem to think it’s a sub for gold diggers.
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/22 08:05 PM
2

Tô be fair…she never listed hvm as a requirement, only rich.
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/22 12:48 AM
13

You had sex with your married and much older teacher. I think you should reevaluate your assessment of your past. You keep talking about how you’re not model pretty but that doesn’t seem like your biggest obstacle to finding a “rich” man.
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/22 12:45 AM
1

My personal thought is that procedures are necessary to age gracefully. The image of what women look like as they age these days is all botoxed and lifted. Men can say that they prefer natural all they want but my take is that what they really mean is that they don’t want to know what goes into a sausage.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/22 11:38 PM
2

“You’ve been working a lot more lately! How can I help you unwind?” There. Say that.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 06:22 PM
6

Stop. You’ve been together 3 months. You have already abused him in the situation described in the last post and emasculated him. Now you’re fixated on him cheating. Look up the cycle of abuse. It sounds like you’re building tension to explode on him again. YOU need to stop feeding this mental fancy.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 10:14 AM
6

How long have you been together? I feel like we need that piece of the puzzle to understand the context of these habit changes. He might just be trying to spruce things up for you.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 12:33 AM
47

Take your children and go to a safe place. The guest room is not a safe place.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/22 04:44 PM
21

Can’t recommend “why does he do that?” enough. It changed my life and put a lot of things into perspective. I think everyone woman should read it.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/22 12:42 AM
53

Not captain + first mate behavior. Yes, the captain has ultimate say. But he’s gone astray if he cripples instead of empowering his first mate.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/22 09:33 PM
2

It sounds like you know what you need to do.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/22 11:16 PM
3

I think we’re missing each other in communication here. B sounds like a nice guy so why are you disrespecting him by putting this on him. I also question why he would let this be put on him. It sounds like you’re going through a hard time and I am not sure why B is being treated like a backup plan (especially when you haven’t made much of a case for A).
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/22 11:12 PM
2

I have escaped an abusive relationship. And even more reason we should guard our thoughts and the good people around us.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/22 11:09 PM
1

I have a hard time respecting someone who is ok playing second fiddle in the love department. You are not A’s mom. Everything about this sounds unhealthy b
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/22 10:44 PM
5

You know who the least happy people are? Those who refuse to choose. Make your choice and live with it. If B is a good guy and he has always been a good guy and he’s got the characteristics you like, do not waste mental space on a childhood romance with an abusive boy. To me, you are being unfaithful to B.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/22 10:24 PM
53

We all need support networks but I don’t bitch about my husband to my friends or family because I refuse to bitch about him at all. I ask advice for navigating different situations but I feel like respect for your partner is broken down when you complain. You might not be able to fix this and if not, make sure you learn from it.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/22 10:18 PM
1

The kids and I greet my husband every day when he gets home from work. I get them hyped up beforehand (he texts when he is on his way which makes it easier) so it is an over the top joyous affair. He recently told me this is the highlight of his day. With the kids, twice a week we go to a park before school to eat together and play. It is a time without phones, work, or distraction and it is a lot of fun for all of us. As a family, we go all out for one soccer team. I am honestly not into sports…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/22 10:32 AM
1

And yet you’re pregnant and he is not in any way understanding as a great father how difficult it is to grow a human. I am sorry friend but he has some growing up to do. He is wrong to dump his trauma on you and he didn’t cheat because he wasn’t getting enough sex.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/22 03:09 AM
1

There are so many reasons why cohabitation is correlated with higher divorce rates. First thing that comes to mind for me are those folks who live together more for financial reasons. And then they’re already living together so why not just get married when they’re already so connected? Not to mention that very religious folks will be miserable before divorcing.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/22 10:35 PM
8

I think it depends on the quality of shared experiences over time more than looks. The longer I’ve been with my husband, the more attractive he finds me (and thinks other people find me more attractive). Now I take care of myself but I am not getting objectively more attractive. But I know my husband and his preferences more every year and there’s nothing that can really compare to that.
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/22 11:50 AM
2

This happened to me many times in my single days and it was always a case of them loving some idea of me which didn’t correspond with reality. To me, it shows poor judgement and/or follow through if a man is talking wedding before either of you have vetted. I do have a friend who went through this and married him. But…they were both living in a small town and had knowledge of each other before dating.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/22 02:42 PM
10

Not normal. He might know what he wants but he doesn’t actually know you properly. I have found that men who have been trying to settle down are the most likely to settle with anyone. This is a red flag for me.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/22 11:33 AM
1

My husband loves it when I surprise him with dates. It is my chance to show him that I notice all his little preferences by serving him a night of everything he most enjoys. It’s one thing in courtship to let a man show what he’s capable of in planning dates. And quite another to make him do this for every single date for the rest of your relationship when you’re married or in a ltr.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/22 09:09 AM
5

Worry about taking care of yourself (mentally and physically) from a sustainable place. If your motivation is to “land a hvm”, that motivation will likely wane when you do. Personality is a more enduring characteristic than a fit body. If you can work on both at the same time, great! But it sounds like you’re already hitting the gym pretty hard.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/22 09:04 AM
2

Yes, my implants hardly caused any pain and I love them. That being said, there are easier/cheaper/better ways for a single woman to level up, imo.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/22 08:59 AM
3

TRP is the Vindicta of red pill. No to both. I am very happy with my purple pill husband and he is happy with his feminist red pill wife.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/22 12:41 AM
2

Still, if he wants to go galloping off, perhaps he can find a way to take the whole family.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/22 12:39 AM
2

Why not propose going with him? I travel with my family for longer periods. We love it!
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/22 11:58 PM
3

That’s my biggest pet peeve in this sub. Men (often times young and inexperienced) occasionally come in to talk about how women aren’t women anymore and men deserve respect. Well, I respect and defer to my captain, not some random on the internet. And most of the men who come in and rant have a lot of soul searching to do about why they aren’t inspiring respect and admiration in the women they would like to attract.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 03:28 PM
2

I’m sure you know this but Brazilians hardly say no. He certainly knows how much the flight costs so I guess you’ll know how much he wants to truly help when the money arrives.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 10:30 AM
11

You’ll have to follow your own compass here but it sounds like you can’t afford to move if he can’t afford to cover you. If you’re serious about him, then shower him in respect and appreciation and drop the hesitancy. Also, I saw you’re going to Brazil. Better to take a shit paying remote job in Aus than a job in Brazil. Feel free to pm with questions.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 12:14 AM
24

For your own sake, at least keep enough saved to go back to your country and not be homeless. You need to have a financial conversation about this before purchasing the flights. “I am concerned about covering my expenses while I find a job in an unfamiliar country”. If he wants you there, he will find a solution.
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/22 11:40 PM
4

So true. My opinion is that above some age (for me I came to this at 30), if either of you aren’t sure after a year, it’s a no.
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/22 09:50 AM
1

It doesn’t really matter what she wants. He does not want her in any serious way and he told her that. Why would she not believe him?
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/22 09:39 AM
3

When is your surgery? If we are talking months, I would absolutely wait. Come into dating with new confidence.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/22 08:38 PM
1

You’re trying to suggest that Martin and Coretta wouldn’t be considered a power couple by today’s standards? That’s absurd. She was an author, singer, leader. They were a power couple.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/22 09:36 PM
6

I don’t have a link but if she makes one, I will share. It covered everything from meditating on feminine energy to embracing a feminine walk. The timing worked perfectly.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/22 02:57 PM
7

Demanding passwords? You went wrong in staying with her. This is a women’s space so I imagine you’d get better advice from a men’s space.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/22 05:47 PM
27

You say you get hit on a lot but you are ugly. Obviously people are finding things they do like about you physically. Sometimes being approachable is better than being a show stopper. Get the surgery if you want but it sounds like the problem is your perception and not your looks. It is my opinion that if a man is trying his hand with women in a group, he’s more likely trying to spin plates so I’m not convinced that it matters how your friends look. Just my 5 pence. Keep doing the work on yourse…
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/22 04:43 PM
17

How committed is he to FIRE? Maybe he would come to realize what a mess the house is if you suggested a housekeeper.
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/22 09:07 PM
4

If this commenter sounds like your bf then my respectful opinion is that he is too early in his journey to be what RPW would define as a HVM. That doesn’t mean there’s not self work to do! But it sounds like you’ve been thrown into trp from a man’s perspective so I would like to offer mine from a woman’s perspective. I am married with children. My husband was happy to propose. I am a western woman and a career woman. So for me, I knew I needed a man that I undoubtedly respect. When I reflect on …
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 07:44 AM
14

I am guessing you are not married and your history seems to support that? Spinning plates, having fun, those are all part of rpm journey and not the rpw one. I would never have married my husband if he had made me feel replaceable. But this is why the sub has, from my understanding, parameters about men being allowed to post. We are on different paths and a man in the plate spinning phase will likely have a hard time advising a woman looking to find a life partner.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/22 10:56 PM
14

I get part of what you’re saying but someone who waits a year isn’t looking to make that woman his main lady. And the problem isn’t that he disapproved of the picture. The problem is that he seems to jump into bully mode when she does something he doesn’t approve of without giving clear direction in the first place. It’s weak leadership. Like I said, I agree with a lot of what you said and it is why I love not having socials. But that’s not what is raising alarm bells for us women.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/22 10:33 PM
28

Following and surrender happen after vetting. I don’t follow just any man like a dumb sheep. I follow a leader i believe in and has shown himself capable of the task. So how do you feel about him as a leader?
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/22 10:02 PM
21

Yes, you articulated my feeling toward the whole post. I have worn many things my husband didn’t like. And most of the time he prefers more socially astute approaches (he suggests something he likes and then I think it is my idea to change, my genius husband) but if he directly addresses something he disapproves of, he always treats me respectfully. I cannot imagine him calling me a slut…doesn’t seem like language anyone would use toward someone they love.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/22 09:50 PM
56

Every person decides what they are happy with in a relationship. For me, a captain making a stink about lip gloss feels more like a tyrant to me. But like I said, we all make decisions on what we prefer and what we tolerate in a relationship. Sounds like the actionable items are totally within your control. You know you need to just let the feelings pass without saying the first things that come to mind. As a side note, If he is big into rp and he introduced you to it, you might be surprised tha…
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/22 09:41 PM
38

You didn’t ask but…you’re just now going public after a year? And he is holding back because he doesn’t like your profile picture?! From the small bit of information you’ve given, it sounds like you’ve got a man who just doesn’t want to commit to you and will find every reason not to.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/22 09:18 PM
48

You want to know what did it for my husband? I stopped deleting unflattering pictures of him. Suggestion from my own Father.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/22 11:02 AM
14

At first I was bent out of shape about your post but as someone who has hit the gym hard over the last 6 months, I can’t deny the truth of it (at least in my marriage).
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 07:05 PM
5

I make a meal plan with recipes for our help. That way I am showing him I know his preferences in the selections but also not running myself ragged trying to cook healthy, delicious meals 3x a day.
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/22 10:10 AM
1

He’s a PlayStation guy and says he always will be. We already have the tv and too many tv accessories (this I do for him because I really hate tv with a passion).
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/22 09:39 PM
20

We all decide what we tolerate. My hot take on a man who asks for but doesn’t give oral…not a provider.
/r/RedPillWives08/05/22 11:50 PM
7

The best way to describe it is the ship analogy you see here a lot. He’s the captain and I am the first mate. I clear the space for him to make big decisions and try to handle all of the little stuff. I will set the meal plan for the week as an example. He would choose where we live. Lots of little things, I suppose. I used to be a big stickler on 50/50 but when rubber hits the road, a ship can’t have two captains. I’ve found rp just works.
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/22 06:01 PM
15

I am not religious so good sex was a requirement to be considered husband material (which can happen imo even if you’re not each other’s type). Full disclosure, my husband was 💯 my type so take my words with a grain of salt. When you get older, whatever your type was goes away in the attraction you have for each other that comes from shared experiences and strong leadership. My husband doesn’t have the bod he used to and neither do I (you can slow down aging but you can’t stop time). But I feel …
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/22 11:21 AM
8

I have a lot of mixed feelings on this. I have a varied circle myself but I have weeded down the inner circle to my values aligned friends. Why? For better or worse, we become the people we spend a lot of time with. Had you asked me in my younger years, I would say she can be her and you can be you and the people who judge can pound sand. But I have seen too many people slow change into something they wouldn’t choose to become.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/22 11:27 PM
20

I did similar. But that didn’t mean I wanted to repel the fun, adventurous, responsible, professional husband I wanted by making him sit down for 3 months and do an aptitude test.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/22 10:01 AM
49

I think the big problem people have who are dating to marry is that sometimes they treat it like all work and no fun. Unless you want your married life to be like that, make sure you’re going through the fun checklist too (compatible hobbies etc).
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/22 09:25 AM
1

I would tell her that many people are happy with both as well as one or the other and none of my love toward her is contingent on her career or relationship or desire to provide grandchildren. She’s got to do what’s best for her because she is the one who will live her whole life with the consequences of her choices.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/22 03:41 AM
1

He’s acting emasculated and irrational because he can’t do husband duties (provider and protector). Since he can’t do this for whatever reason, he is pushing you away and blaming you rather than step up and take the wheel. You can try to build him up but he sounds like a weak leader.
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/22 10:22 PM
1

Literally no one would date low value men if they had no redeeming qualities.
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/22 10:17 PM
4

I am almost 0% tradcon. But rpw does provide a pragmatic solution to the question of “how can my husband and I live our most fulfilling life together?” I am completely in support of women who want the modern ideal of love and consider myself a feminist (as in women should be able to pursue what they want, be that tradcon or ceo). I just haven’t gotten what I wanted in following whatever the modern ideal is inside of my marriage. Outside of my marriage, I have a career and I’m not afraid to bust …
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/22 10:54 AM
1

The problem is that he feels my meal selection and clearing space for his exercise is nagging. He has always been thinner and fit so this is the first time he has had to consider strengthening exercises, pt, etc. He is still thin but based on the back injury, would benefit from a lot of core work. I workout regularly and suggested we go on romantic evening walks but he has declined my suggestions.
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/22 05:35 PM
1

Why should a man work in corporate. He could just sell drugs! However, like sex work the career lifetime is short and dangerous. This man you were arguing with is clearly not rational so there’s no need to stoop.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/22 11:40 PM
1

And how did crying improve your communication and skills of persuasion? It makes a person look unreasonable so I can’t see how it did anything but make you appear unstable.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/22 11:35 PM
1

I read it totally differently. To me, it felt like he was saying “I can’t really afford a stay at home wife but don’t worry, you can cut back your spending to the bare necessities and then we should squeak by!” It is a great arrangement if both come to it independently but if that was his angle, I can only say that it wouldn’t work for me.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/22 12:45 AM
0

She didn’t ask if she should get married at all. She asked if these surprise twists he has thrown at her are alarming. And in my opinion, they are. No adult should have to plead to their partner for reasonable spending.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/22 10:14 PM
8

Totally agree. I used to believe a person could have male friends but I’ve never had a male friend that didn’t want more. Ultimately, it felt disrespectful to keep these men around when they had such motives. For me, leaning into my female friends was part of becoming ready for my hvm.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/22 12:21 PM
14

My husband never would have dated me if I kept a gaggle of orbiters. Perhaps it is old school but it’s a fact.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/22 12:19 PM
0

People are not robots. Nor should we strive to be.
/r/RedPillWives08/02/22 07:29 PM
11

Are you intimate? If so, new matching underwear set and a few new techniques (thank you internet).
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/22 10:08 PM
1

Make sure you’re fishing with the right bait. Unfortunately many women who go out to bars in wealthier areas just to meet rich men don’t have the qualities that same man wants in a ltr.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/22 04:02 AM
2

How to dress to attract the types of people you are looking for. Learning the sweet spot of sharing personal details but rolling them out at the right moments.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/22 12:44 PM
22

The fact you gave him a trick question speaks for itself. Stop shit testing him and playing games.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/22 06:26 PM
4

I read her comment as a traditional man would bring things up instead of building resentment. Which everyone should do, no matter their leanings.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/22 06:23 PM
6

"I chose an incredibly competent captain who helps fill in my blind spots and we make a great team. Help, it is ruining my confidence." What?! You did a great job and chose to form a great team. Every time he is kindly correct, let it reassure you that you picked fabulously.
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/22 04:11 PM
22

"I hear you" makes it about you, even though we are often taught to say it. I switched to, "it sounds like (repeat back what he said)." It indicates you are actively listening and gives him space to continue if he wants.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/22 06:45 PM
72

I do not believe my husband is more attracted to someone else. Certainly there are better looking women but no one knows him like I know him and no one knows what he likes like I do. Attraction is not all eyeballs, although it is important to maintain yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/22 02:18 PM
1

I'd post in /r/plasticsurgery
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/22 01:23 PM
8

Exes do not exist in my marriage and we prefer it that way. What good could come of it?
/r/RedPillWives21/01/22 12:09 AM
5

Social skills are gained through practice so grab the ball by the horns and know it will feel awkward at first but just keep practicing and it will start to feel natural.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/22 08:56 AM
1

So..what do you like about this guy? He knows you don't really get enough money to get by and still continually puts you in compromising financial situations. That isn't love.
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/22 11:26 PM
3

OP, it could be that your ideal man hasn't blossomed yet in your age group. I did stem and many of the high performers were late bloomers in dating (as in, they didn't make much effort until after their BS and beyond).
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/22 11:18 PM
3

But..is he well off? In college, everyone with a decent job seemed really "well off" compared to how I was living. I wonder if that is skewing perceptions. In any case, something is weird.
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/22 11:14 PM
5

Are you married? I ask because I haven't seen a marriage work with these kinds of beliefs. The marriages that inspire me are those where both bring their best to care for the other (what that is may change over a lifetime).
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/22 03:18 PM
47

"I love spending time with you but with my allowance being $300/mo, I am feeling some financial stress." If he doesn't jump to pay, then you probably aren't on the same page. I would also recommend you keep hyper aware about his intentions. A lot of folks are against age gaps because it has happened more than once that the older manipulates the younger with whatever they want to hear.
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/22 03:56 AM
3

Totally agree. I think if you're over 30, you know after you've been dating a year if you want to marry that person. And if you don't know, you don't want to marry them. And at 30+, there is really no reason to wait longer.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/22 01:56 PM
9

This is not a hard line to draw. "I would love to live with you! It is one of the things I look forward to most after we get married." Don't let him rush you.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/22 04:27 AM
3

Yes, most men say they don't care. But what they mean is that they don't want to know what goes into the secret sauce. Agree with kind entertainment...find a way to do your self care and maintenance.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/22 07:17 PM
2

Take it one step further. He doesn't even really seem to know what he wants and is trying to shame you into guessing right what he can't puzzle out himself. This cannot be your responsibility.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/22 07:14 PM
4

My eldest started preschool later and because life, the youngest started early. The youngest is very capable, much more so than the eldest at that age. I will say, the ratio is 3:1 and she only goes a few hours a day so a lot of the concerns about pre-verbal and young kids don't apply as much (that they won't be able to get their needs met). We did change preschools for the eldest for exactly your stated concern: we didn't feel the classroom was modeling our values. Now that we have the right fi…
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/22 11:51 AM
2

Why would you even consider someone who totally disregards the feelings of others as high value?
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/22 08:48 PM
3

We all follow our own path but I take a lot of comfort in the fact that my husband is as committed to me as I am to him. I wouldn't have that feeling if he dumped me and then asked to get back together. Sometimes it does work but success in make up after break up are a lot less probable than commitment throughout.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/22 08:12 PM
10

This is why I do not believe in break up then make up. Even though you're single, it will always be viewed as some sort of infidelity. What makes you think there is a chance you could get back together? Or that you would even want to?
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/22 04:16 PM
5

Be wary, friend. Anyone can put on a show of why they have or haven't done this or that. Anyone can talk about their virtues. Talking on the phone and chatting is fantasy land that has no real world consequences. I am not saying it can't all be true but it is such a small window into someone's existence. And let's put this all into perspective: I can say how much I want to be this or that but wanting can be so far from reality. I am concerned that he had to get this good idea from you. You clear…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/21 10:16 PM
2

There are other factors at play. Like do you want kids? The ski bum lifestyle is not super family friendly. So everything else might be irrelevant. If you don't want kids, why not lay it out? "I was a bit shy because I didn't want to overwhelm you but I really like you and I don't want to get hurt. I may have played it a bit too cool trying to protect my heart but I would like to continue seeing you long distance." The fact that you aren't exclusive will be a barrier though, I imagine.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/21 10:08 PM
1

I show my husband that he is the greatest, most amazing man I have ever met by respecting him, jumping into bed with him as often as possible, and never speaking (or even thinking about) the training wheel men who helped me learn and evolve to become ready to marry such an amazing person. I would NOT say anything about past people because my husband (and myself) would find that wildly disrespectful.
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/21 03:57 AM
5

Lots of good advice so I will just add my two cents of perspective. I used to be an "only deep conversation" person. But now I have changed perspectives on a few things. 1) men who engage in these conversations mostly just want to get a chance with you. 2) small talk is a vetting tool and my most reliable friends use to determine who to get close to (I started doing this too). Then once you've established some common ground, dive into the deeper conversation. 3) most people can small talk, it is…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/21 10:31 PM
5

These social media commentators have 0 interest or investment in your long term success. In fact, a good number of them would probably be more entertained to see you crash and burn. You need to figure out what you want and stop listening to the uninvested peanut gallery (including the guy who ditched you after you said you'd run off with him).
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/21 10:41 PM
1

I am relieved and thankful that I am getting back into my pre-pregnancy routine (took twice as long to get there with #2). Sleeping more, more time with my husband, exercise every day, efficient work. It felt like an eternity that I wasn't "me" and we had no time for ourselves.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/21 11:53 AM
2

Pretend that you are your friend and give your "friend" advice. Maybe this will help you get a bit of perspective on your situation.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/21 11:47 AM
5

Right? Such a vote of confidence! "I'd like to sideline you while I search for a better man but don't worry, if I don't find one, you're back in the game!"
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/21 11:45 AM
4

Your infidelity broke the relationship you were happy with. Please reflect on how your actions have affected you (since you aren't considering your bf in this post). And anyone can come on heavy with charm for a few months but marriage material is sustainable. It doesn't burn bright and burn out.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/21 11:44 AM
3

Is love related to height or money? Those are your complaints about him. I would honestly be disgusted if I saw my partner writing the things about me that you have written about him and I would end it immediately. You feel the way you feel but know that any hvm wants to feel like his wife thinks he's the best thing in the universe. So go find the man you feel that way about instead of dragging this poor sap along while you wait for the next best thing.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/21 11:39 AM
2

I read your post history. Your biggest barrier to finding a hvm is not your friend. It is yourself. Get healthy, mentally and physically. Like attracts like so focus on being worthy of a hvm.
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/21 06:12 PM
43

You do realize she can only marry ONE person, right? I hope you can get rid of this awful attitude. What would your potential husband think if he knew you actively wished ill will upon your FRIEND with the hopes you could shine brighter. Ugly.
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/21 09:28 PM
2

Your HVM needs more mental fortitude. If he can't control his own mind, that is very much up to him to change.
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/21 03:40 PM
4

For me, it is as simple as doing something (anything) with no phones or distractions.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/21 04:58 PM
2

Intimacy takes work, no matter what you're working with. I would start there. Also, find a tailor that can fit clothes to your body. You are in the same boat as many well endowed women. Really, everyone should tailor their clothes.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/21 06:07 PM
2

I don't know what a nut case he is but most young, single folks have sent racy pictures. It is just the world we live in. So I wouldn't lose sleep over it. I would also block your ex if you think you can. I had a weirdo following me around for a while and blocking is often one simple, easy click to get rid of the problem.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/21 04:31 AM
10

Glad to hear you had a productive conversation! Thanks for the update.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/21 04:33 PM
3

I would appreciate years married personally as flair for exactly this reason.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/21 05:53 PM
2

But you are not even listening to your boyfriend. He has said he wants to live with you as "king and queen, not king and slave" but you prefer to flog yourself than make your man happy (and imo respect yourself). You have to ask yourself if anyone values your martyrdom. It seems no.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/21 05:39 PM
1

Ideally both. My husband is a prize and I like to think he considers me the same. I am fortunate he cares for us and he tells me he feels fortunate to have me as the mother of our children.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/21 05:32 PM
4

There is nothing wrong with bringing an aperitif that pairs with your dessert. But if he was expecting you to bring a pairing for dinner, I suppose that would be problematic.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/21 09:53 AM
4

I haven't seen anyone mention concern about his ability to budget. I understand you have passed this over to him but if it would take you 6 months to pay off your credit cards (you said consumer debt so I am guessing that is what you mean) then you are living above your means and children or not, this would alarm me.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/21 09:47 AM
2

We are all animals. Lots of people delude themselves into thinking it isn't true. And yet in rpw, we admit that some things we deal with have reasons we can't "reason" our way out of.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/21 06:19 PM
6

You make it sound like HVM can't cherish their wives or shower them with love. I can assure you, a hvm can make time to get you a birthday present (if it is important to you).
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/21 11:46 PM
8

Loads of married women are responding and you're doubling down on, "that's not how it is for me". I have made a lot of mistakes and it turns out, whenever I think "that might be how it is for others, but not for me" I am always wrong. We don't know you but we still don't want you to learn the lessons many of us learned the hard way.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/21 10:30 PM
3

It is not about that at all. But I think love should grow every day (and every day you know him more, the better you can focus your energy where it is appreciated) and frankly, I would not dump a bunch of energy into someone I haven't fully vetted yet.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/21 09:07 PM
5

Doesn't sound anything to do with pilled one way or another. He just isn't that into her. She will need to figure this out for herself.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/21 05:15 PM
8

Give him what you can continue to give him for the lifetime of your relationship (which might be the rest of your lifetime). If anything, save your best for after marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/21 05:13 PM
11

You are "long distance" right now and the majority of your relationship has been long distance. Be careful that the expectation you set this trip is one you can maintain throughout your relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/21 08:36 AM
24

I don't know why you would bring this up at all.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/21 08:55 AM
-3

The thing that I wouldn't be OK with was that walking off set was even a discussion. To me, it shows weak character. He can be upset about not being informed, he can be upset that the date wasn't a priority when she accepted the job, of course totally understandable about the disregard for his time. Apologize, make it up to him, then schedule smarter. But when something else doesn't go their way, I hope the first instinct isn't "just shirk your adult responsibilities."
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/21 05:05 AM
4

I think it is fine to organize something nice for him. "I so wanted to see you last time and really missed our time together so I thought we could double the fun on this date!" But I would be wary. It doesn't sound like he treated you very kindly. You have known each other 12 years and this is the only time it has happened? The reaction wouldn't work for me. I wouldn't say anything but I would definitely make note of it while vetting.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/21 06:54 PM
14

I would think a man would understand this. You are not his wife and he does not pay your bills. Does he care so little for his own reputation that he wouldn't do what needs to be done at his work? I would apologize profusely, explain that it is rare, but as you work, sometimes you unexpectedly have to stay late. If it were a pattern, the problem would be you. But a one off? Yeah, he can be disappointed and sad but I think he has to understand.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/21 06:47 PM
29

Real talk...if someone is already caring for children and parents, very unlikely they will have emotional bandwidth to add you into the mix. I would say you can count on playing 3rd fiddle, at best. It wouldn't work for me.
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/21 02:03 PM
3

I have two criteria for exercise classes: activity is fun and people are nice. If you are excited about a home workout, then do it!
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/21 09:34 AM
1

I have a good friend group. But like most mums, sometimes life gets busy and none of us have gotten together in a while. I know I am going to 10 different year-end preparation activities and they are to. The holiday season is just tough.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/21 02:32 PM
1

This is our second. Honestly, the first was so easy. She slept better, exercise wasn't a juggling act. I was shocked at how easy it was. And I know I have it easy by comparison. I will try to find a support group but I find so many of them are not solution-oriented.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/21 01:43 PM
36

Sexting right away typically signals that you're looking for a fling. So get to know them before you start in on the steamy talks.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/21 01:09 PM
5

Yes, go on a spend detox. Nothing that isn't an essential (food, toilet paper, that kind of thing). Sounds like you are just addicted to shopping so emotionally prepare for some withdrawal but stick to ir.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 11:21 PM
2

I think I might have a really mild form of ppd and I am not sure how to get out of the fog. I am not sad, just tired all of the time. Everyone says it is normal but I don't feel normal. I am still breastfeeding so I know that takes a lot of energy. How long did it take you to recover from introducing a new baby to the house?
/r/RedPillWives03/11/21 12:17 PM
11

Here's a challenge to your stance. "When in Rome." My hot take: the only man you should worry about with respect to your feminine energy is your own husband. So I definitely behave and dress differently at work than I do with my husband. I don't see it as a betrayal of who I am as a person or woman. But you don't wear jeans to a gala (and vice versa). Everything has its place.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 02:09 AM
6

RP is about accepting reality. Reality is that many women find shorter hair does help them in the workplace. I have received this advice but I am fine doing things the hard way to keep my hair long.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 12:29 AM
8

Hold out until you know if you actually like him and are compatible. I am not much fussed about n but having sex messes with love brain chemicals. So it is better to know beforehand if your love chemicals are warranted.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/21 08:13 PM
4

If I had a nickel for every time I got overwhelmed and forgot something minor. And another for when I forgot something major. If it takes you 5 minutes, just do it. But whether you do it or not, do not nag at him. We have all been there and can all appreciate the value of grace.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/21 11:19 AM
2

To challenge your construct: share the dirty laundry, hide the most beautiful parts? To each their own.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 05:51 PM
2

I mean, are you proud of him though? I guess I low key brag on my husband because I think he is great and consequently, the struggles feel light. From your posts, you aren't getting the instaworthy gifts, you and your partner don't agree on life post-marriage, what brings you together?
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 05:43 PM
2

And what about your needs? I see all of your posts, struggling to accept your relationship as is. Now maybe you have some self-work but maybe you and this guy just aren't aligned. I personally would not be OK with someone telling me I don't deserve something, as was the case with the lavish gifts post. Now, I don't ask for anything lavish so I'm not in that situation but this only to say that I feel grounded in reality and if someone tells me otherwise, they are likely trying to manipulate me. S…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 05:35 PM
2

Yes but not every man values the same things. So there needs to be some match up between the loving, caring wife that you want to be and the loving, caring wife that your future husband is looking for. Some people want to be power couples and some want very tradcon marriages. Aligned values and vision is key.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 03:39 PM
20

Based on your posts, it seems like you might benefit from sitting with the realities of your relationship and deciding if it is really what you want. Without knowing any of the details, it seems you want a different relationship dynamic than your partner. And that is OK. But they might not be compatible.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 03:35 PM
2

I totally agree. And i think the cold hard fact is that if a woman keeps feeling entitled to lavish gifts, a prostitute will be an easier choice for a man because the cost is clear and the debt is paid when money moves hands. In relationships, give with an open hand and no expectation of "gaining" something in return.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 10:23 AM
2

"Rich" is relative so that is valid!
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/21 11:59 PM
23

I am happily married and most of the other married women seem to be saying the same thing: money is not a factor in determining if a man is a hvm or not. But let's not be naive, any adult should be able to manage and afford adult living. I recognize that is very different from lavish gifts but I used to be in the camp of "money means nothing!" Now that we have kids though, money sure does make things easier. That is what I imagine (perhaps wrongly) most women are taking about when they talk abou…
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/21 11:53 PM
1

"he might also be a feminist and he believes in patriarchy" He can't believe both of these things. You've been on 3 dates. That's not enough to know. But if you're not feeling it, your sunk cost is low.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/21 09:18 AM
1

So you feel you are not getting back what you are putting in?
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/21 10:10 PM
1

What does anyone really know about someone else's relationship? After reading your post and comments, it sounds like the problem is on your side of the fence. Do you feel like your boyfriend is treating you with love and respect in the ways you feel love and respect? It sounds like your love language is gifts. Have you done an honest assessment with yourself (ignoring everyone else) about what you do to make a man feel loved and respected? Specifically, your man! To share my own story, I am sure…
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/21 10:50 AM
6

This comment sounds a bit transactional. I do not delight my husband because I want him to give me things. I delight him because I love him and want him to be happy. And he spoils me because he loves me and wants me to be happy. If I went in with the idea of getting stuff for actions from him, I would not get very far.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/21 10:32 AM
6

Misbehavior is not evil. It is developmentally appropriate. I get that it was probably a joke but to go back to your original point, all of these little things we say add up to color our view of the world. So we need to start with the little things to change the big things. If another woman receives something, it takes nothing away from you.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/21 04:05 PM
1

It might be worth looking inside about how much it sounds like you're letting this affect you. So they are trying to show they notice you but don't know where to start so they say, "oh no, you look tired!" I think you're reading into this too much. I am always thankful when I am not as smooth as I meant to be in a situation but the other person gives me grace and rolls with it.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/21 11:32 PM
0

You seem very ruffled by this. When did it happen? It might be good to step back, forget about it for 24 hours while you cool off, and then reassess the situation with a new perspective. He set a boundary in a harsh but not alarming way. And you are doubling down on your side with everyone who points out that they wouldn't be concerned....you're too close to this right now.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 11:15 PM
15

Have you traveled together? Before moving in together, I highly recommend it. You learn to follow by zipping your lips and seeing what happens. If you are aligned, following gets easier each time.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 11:12 PM
6

There is a lot more going on here than you listed in your original post and more than I really understand. I will add that you can't really have your own boundary that forces people to invite you to their house. Sounds like the relationship is not that healthy though for reasons unrelated to the original post.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 04:42 PM
7

Possibly or possibly not. You have one data point. If you are afraid because of one text, there is probably some self work you need to do. We didn't see the text mind you so just operating base on the information presented.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 04:18 PM
38

I am going to repeat your title and tell me how it hits: the reason men in their prime won't fall in love with you is because of their emotional baggage. If you keep finding men with emotional baggage, I recommend changing your search strategy.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 03:35 PM
9

I would say that is mostly true but some people with authoritative parents are trained to be indirect. So it is worth trying praise to see if there is any change before writing it off.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 10:36 AM
9

He is telling you he felt disrespected and I totally agree. I would also be very upset if someone gave me a hickey. And if they did it twice, things would definitely be over. It is not about him controlling you. He is literally trying to be in control of his own body and his Professional (I would also argue personal) image. I would not want to show up to a work or PTA meeting with a hickey. You are overreacting.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 10:26 AM
7

You mean you do it once and then the effect tapers off? Because praise and delight is not a one and done of course. Or do you mean if you praise regularly, it loses its efficacy? If so, it might help to read about how we respond to praise given at regular vs irregular intervals. Basically, us humans prefer to be praised when we don't know we will get praise.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 10:15 AM
1

Lots of people "slide into marriage" which is when they have been together so long, it seems like the next logical step even when one or both doesn't really want it. The divorce rate for these marriages is higher than the already high average. All this to say, he did you a favor! It is my opinion that if you are over 25ish, you should know if the person your dating is your life partner around about a year together when you've both let down your guard a bit and have a good amount of experiences t…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 09:45 AM
2

Praise him when he does it.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 09:37 AM
19

Hard truth: If you are maintaining your standards, complaining about your partner doesn't even cross your mind.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 09:33 AM
6

The good news is that it sounds like you already know a lot of things you can improve on. It is not always easy but strong relationships always require work.
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/21 10:10 PM
21

"I found this thing online that dramatically changes the foundation of our relationship and I want you to do it or else." That's how it read to me and I don't think that is reasonable or fair. Maybe take 10 steps back with him to figure out the underlying causes. And maybe it is as simple as you being delighted to see him when he comes home and bringing questions not solutions. Did he say anything about how he feels you emasculated him? Lack of respect (or perception of it) will tear down even t…
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/21 07:47 PM
5

You have been together only a year and he has...lied about living with his ex, almost been evicted, shown he has not planned for the future. It seems as though he is not even adulting. In my opinion, any person must come to a relationship with a minimal ability to care for themselves. You want to be a mum but I assume you do not want an adult child.
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/21 03:13 PM
5

Why would she want to do that? How did she find out about his enduring love for an ex? I feel like more information is needed. I don't have nostalgia for my exes but I can see how someone would have nostalgia for a period in time without actually wanting to be with the ex.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/21 07:41 PM
26

Nicely stated and totally agree that we need to remember men are people with highs and lows...no one does well being kicked when they're down. However, the first few months of dating is a totally different situation than marriage after vetting is done.
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/21 11:13 AM
6

They have been together 3 months. Anyone can "sprint" for 2 months. My guess is that this problem isn't new. He just hid it when things were extra shiny and new.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/21 10:38 PM
24

It sounds like, for whatever reason, you have been costing him energy instead of giving it. And now he is realizing he needs to recharge on his own. Would you feel comfortable saying something like, "I really want to see you but I am so tired. Can we do a sleep over and just go to sleep right away?" Or maybe you don't want to do that because you want an exciting, high energy encounter when you see him. In which case, it sounds like you two might not be at the same phase, especially if your respe…
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/21 09:45 AM
4

Bumble. Full disclosure, I am fit and attractive with hobbies that photograph well so that certainly helped. Just set your filter so it removes the people much younger than you. Most seemed gentlemanly (even when they got no kiss and no second date). I have some funny stories from those days but no horror stories.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/21 01:43 AM
7

I did OLD around your age and met my husband. We are the same age. But it was basically a part time job. I went on a LOT of first dates and very few second dates.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/21 12:16 AM
37

Based on your history, it sounds like you've recently had a traumatic event. Know that after being raped, MANY people will do things to make themselves less attractive so they feel safer. And that is perfectly OK. Do what you can to heal and when you feel comfortable in your feminine again, then dress that way.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/21 01:00 PM
80

Yes, having a man's haircut and dressing in unflattering ways will likely affect a man's attraction to you.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/21 09:48 AM
1

How long has your period been irregular? There are MANY reasons that it can get that way.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/21 10:08 PM
1

If a man is not loyal to his wife then that makes his wife really just a glorified booty (or baby) call. That is not how I define commitment, which is what rpw seek.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/21 10:07 PM
1

Perhaps it might help to do some internal reflection on the value YOU get from a relationship with someone you are "fine with" kicking you to the curb. I'd personally rather be single than constantly on notice.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/21 09:53 PM
3

Whatever is appropriate for the situation. When in doubt, err on the side of overdressed. Motivation and attentiveness (to work at work and family at home) Everyone has feelings. I am happy to support my partner. Adding a note that I sometimes see mentally unhealthy people complain about how no one gives space for their emotions. So if your emotions take up an entire amphitheater, you've got to sort that out with a professional. I am married to the best man in the world so not applicable.
/r/RedPillWives13/10/21 01:25 PM
13

It sounds like he is a great guy who is committed to you. Now stop dragging him into your fears and enjoy what you've got!
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/21 11:25 PM
36

I would wait at least until the 2nd trimester.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/21 05:04 PM
3

It is possible to get both in one man!
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/21 04:24 PM
11

I will play it from the other side. My husband and I are both executives but our time together is very high quality. If the quality of time is low, that would concern me.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/21 01:36 PM
23

My husband is very busy and ambitious with a high-level, demanding job. I am also busy with my professional life and it is sometimes difficult. But when we have time together, it is always very treasured. I never feel like he could take me or leave me, quite the opposite. From my perspective, work is to support the family and not the other way around.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/21 01:33 PM
5

Yes, one evening a week is committed to our relationship and no one else. Sometimes it is hard to think of ideas so we have a list of things we could do in advance. Then if we are brain fried, we still have fun.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 05:26 PM
14

Plan a date night. My husband and I have a date bank of fun stuff we choose from for date night. It is all the high energy, silly things we started with. For me, when it's scheduled I don't stress about it. Are you talking sexually? Or just in general? I guess either comes down to anticipation. It depends on his preferences but whatever it takes to build anticipation, do it. For me, this can be as simple as before husband goes to work say something like, "wow, I can't wait for you to come home!"
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 01:16 PM
5

Yes! This is why I prefer the short, no excessive explanations exit or a fade away. There is almost never a break up where people are like, "OK, I got everything I need and I feel totally at peace with how things ended." No, we humans are not like that and there is LITERALLY nothing you can say to make a break up not suck for someone (if it is more than a booty call). So let's just take that off the table as something to shoot for. I have come to believe that sometimes when breaking up with some…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 01:59 AM
1

You know this man but he dropped you right out of the gate. I would not waste another second of my time because he is showing you who he is through his actions. It isn't like he is trying but just putting effort in the wrong spot. He is not putting in effort at all (from what I understand from the post). Outlining expectations in such a situation seems desperate. But obviously there is a lot I don't know about your relationship so take my words for what they're worth.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 01:54 AM
5

I am not saying ghost him. But it sounds like you might be a bit out of touch with how he feels. What I am about to say is not easy to hear but i think every person needs to hear it at some point. From what you've written (and the scope of this post is a narrow window) he doesn't hold you in high regard. Instead of leaning in to you during a time of need, he stopped contact. When I see women wanting statement exits, it reminds me of people who make long posts about why they are leaving a Faceboo…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 12:38 AM
5

From what you describe, it sounds like you were never really dating. But if you insist on an announced exit, "our timing and values aren't aligned. All the best on your next adventures"
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 12:28 AM
5

It sounds like if you stop contacting him, the relationship will fizzle away. So I would just stop contacting him.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 12:20 AM
1

People will treat you how you allow them to treat you. Being obese makes it harder to find someone but being with someone who treats you so badly is not something I would accept.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/21 01:56 AM
1

You've had something like 4-6 dates and he's completely blown you off. I would not be pursuing this man as you are. He can chase you for a while, if he is interested.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/21 01:44 AM
25

Agree. I am much more bothered by the keys hanging out!
/r/RedPillWives08/10/21 12:42 PM
10

It does appear to say, "She said yes" in the background.
/r/RedPillWives08/10/21 10:41 AM
2

I 100% agree and let me be clear, it is a terrible thing to do. I am only saying that if we believe in the differences between men and women, we ought to accept that different tactics work for one and not the other. Does it mean all tactics should used? No (what op described is disgusting behavior)! Is it right that anyone should be used so terribly? No! Does that make it not happen? No! That is why I say the men who do these dirty tricks are not the men that most rpw are searching for.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/21 10:07 PM
8

Perhaps you feel uncomfortable because #1 priority should be earned. It doesn't feel so good if someone gives it away willy nilly (and is a red flag, imo, since a provider plays the long game and vets you just as you vet him). I think we all make mistakes in undermining our man. I will fess up to one (not proud) and go through what I meant vs how it was perceived. We went to a party and the homeowner had a lovely pool. I jokingly said to my husband, "what does a person have to do to get a pool l…
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/21 02:21 PM
6

Of course not! But that isn't conducive to the goal of marrying someone. The consequences of lying/bullying/manipulating for a one night stand are virtually non-existant. I agree that it isn't ethical and I don't advocate anyone lie/bully/manipulate but if we're being pragmatic, it isn't a strategy that has much hope of long-term success and men chasing Ms Right Now don't need to care.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/21 02:12 PM
11

Why do you think a red pill man wouldn't value you or prioritize you? It sounds like perhaps one of two things. He is either too emotionally fragile to support another person in a very basic way. Or you are making him feel incapable as a provider by phrasing your reactions in a way that emasculate him. Either way, 2 months into dating seems a bit early to have to ask yourself these questions, jmo.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/21 01:34 PM
32

Consider this..trp who are using these tricks are not what rpw would consider high value men. They are gaming for sex and nothing more. On the flipside, how often have we seen young ladies here ask for advice on how to lock down a hvm who is young, rich, and handsome? Two sides of the judgemental coin. But the good news is that attractiveness is really relative and fluid. Frankly, with a bit of effort, most women can go up at least 2 points in attractiveness with a bit of strategy. Flattering cl…
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/21 12:51 PM
7

He sounds like a LVM so I guess it's all up from here? Seriously though, I used to be addicted to a savior complex. Once I realized I chose lost boys to make myself feel like a martyr, it made it a lot easier to appreciate a good man. I hope you start feeling worthy of a healthy relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/21 07:30 AM
2

Saying this out of love...if no other women want to be around you, the problem is not likely to be other women. I used to befriend men because it was simpler but I don't anymore out of respect for my husband. I have learned to make women friends and it is harder to find compatible friends but it is worth it because a woman doesn't have any ulterior motives to being around me outside of companionship. 10 years ago, I admittedly would have rolled my eyes at my own words but this is what I've learn…
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/21 10:27 PM
19

Being a homemaker is a lovely goal if it is what you want. That being said, I think there is value in knowing how to support yourself financially. Why? I think the reality is that you open yourself up to a lot of potential abuse (financial and otherwise) if you don't have the wherewithal to get by on your own. Plus we don't know when we will die. If I were a widow, the last thing I would want to have to do is rush off into a new marriage for financial reasons.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/21 10:12 PM
5

Yes, and I was being a bit abrasive on purpose because the biggest complaint I have heard from people who wait until marriage is that they feel stuck with duty sex.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/21 05:13 PM
4

It is common and widespread among men who like sex. Plus if you're a non-religious man, there's not much reason to not have sex when given the opportunity. I will throw my 2 cents in here as well and say if sex isn't fun and pleasurable, you should learn how to do it differently.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/21 03:39 PM
3

And also how many children you want. My first was born when I was 29 and the second at 32...the first time was easy but the second, I felt 20 years older instead of just 3. I don't know how I will handle pregnancy a third time if we go there.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/21 11:37 PM
4

It does hurt. And it sucks. I am sorry you are going through it. But know that all of the struggle and pain is all an investment in your Mr Right so you are ready when he comes along.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/21 06:01 PM
13

If it were, things wouldn't have ended.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/21 05:36 PM
9

He never got a chance to see you fall from the "honeymoon pedestal", as everyone does that stays together long enough (where you learn the real person and not the perceived one). Spending time wondering though is like ego masturbation...feels good to imagine we are so great that someone wouldn't move on but none of it is based in reality.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/21 04:09 PM
39

Here's the truth for me. Men are insanely easy to become friends with because some part of them doesn't care about being your friend. I've never had a male friend not catch feelings and I don't think it is because I am all that. Their little reptile brain lowered the friendship bar hoping for future success. Women vet you hard for friendship and it took me a lot of male friend turnover (I have no interest in friendship after the love confessions) to realize this was something I should be doing, …
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/21 10:10 AM
19

I am happily married but when I was dating, I promised myself NO project men. Timing matters just as much as compatibility.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/21 06:23 PM
10

Heres how I found a happy medium as I am an early riser and my husband a night owl: I pack up the kids early and leave him to rest without the normal bustle and noise...pure rest. Then when he is ready, he meets us. I always plan our couple dates in the evening or late afternoon.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/21 04:14 PM
5

But here is also the smell factor which has nothing to do with masculinity.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/21 10:18 AM
2

I highly suggest reading two books. "Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men." As well as "the gift of fear". I think rpw need to be keen on the fact that some men will try to abuse us under the guise of "protector". Controlling what you do, yelling, hitting...none of these things are in line with RP. Women support/love men through respect and trust but we don't have to give it to every and any man.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/21 06:08 PM
18

You are 21 years old. Your life has hardly begun and whatever you've built so far can be built again. And greater with a competent captain.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/21 05:40 PM
7

I am very confused about how you are equating being physically and mentally abused with a red pilled man. That is literally the exact opposite of a protector. Are you willing to pay a lifetime of abuse for good looks and drive? I'm certainly not!
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/21 05:14 PM
9

Take your life away? Like...murder you? Because if that is your concern, your best chance of survival is to not return.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/21 05:11 PM
9

No one should be in a relationship they are afraid of. If someone smacks you around, you leave. Full stop. And "if he found out what you did"....you broke up. But this is only one of the reasons why I am 100% against "break up then make up" situations.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/21 05:08 PM
3

You know what is even more short sighted? Buying thousands in day trades right before heading to the grocery store and wanting to buy more than you can afford.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/21 03:31 PM
6

I always find that the best way to deserve (and find) a high value anything is to be high value yourself. Having money isn't the same as being high value.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/21 02:08 PM
2

Can you imagine if you were a sahm, no longer able to bail him out of his financial mismanagement. The kids are hungry and there's no money in your accounts. That's not the type of person I want to be my captain.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/21 02:02 PM
1

But this isn't a situation of his cash being tied up in long term investments and living lean. If we take him on his word, he just put thousands in short term, risky investments without having any plan to have liquidity to even feed himself! What would happen if she wasn't there with money in her account? He just wouldn't eat? That's all fine and good but they are talking about having children. The children can't NOT eat.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/21 01:58 PM
5

But let's be honest...most "day traders" are bad at it and are basically big money gamblers. If he is having such big issues managing his cash flow, I highly doubt he is one of the rare good ones.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/21 01:47 PM
10

If he is a day trader, those are not long term investments. The guy is addicted to bad day trading and lying about it to explain his financial mismanagement.
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/21 09:10 AM
3

Could you promise yourself to give at least 30 seconds to respond? Not everyone deserves respect but when I see people respond like this, I do question their emotional regulation. This primarily hurts one person: you.
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/21 03:42 PM
12

In this particular case, it sounds like maybe taking x amount of time before responding would solve the problem. So when someone says, "shouldn't you do x?" You could respond, "thanks for bringing it to my attention. I will think on it." Then think on it and respond if appropriate.
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/21 03:26 PM
3

What is a reasonable conflict time-line in marriages? I have been together with my husband for 3 years. We have 2 kids. It has been pretty much nothing but marital bliss and our relationship has always been this way. When we first started dating, I asked him, "Do you have some secret addiction? Because I cannot fathom how a guy like you could be single." And that feeling never changed (he is conscientious, intelligent, great leader). I don't want to look for problems where they aren't but I also…
/r/RedPillWives23/09/21 09:27 AM
2

I love the idea of getting small cleaning tools. I have let her use the big stuff but small is way more fun. I lock our bedroom door and the kitchen but the rest is a free for all. I will lock more doors 🤣
/r/RedPillWives21/09/21 10:27 PM
7

The 10 minute tidy really hit home. My husband loves coming back to a spotless home. I know we have to live here and I also know what it means to him. I am going to schedule a 10 minute tidy before he walka through the door and see if that solves the lingering feeling.
/r/RedPillWives21/09/21 09:45 PM
1

Value in any relationship is something that is proven and should be improved on a daily basis. Stop whining and do the work.
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/21 09:37 PM
2

Love languages are a balancing act and some we enjoy and others we tolerate. It sounds like he tolerates words of affection but he does not enjoy them. So do what you need for you but respect that they does not make him feel loved. This eternal struggle exists independent of trauma so know that his reaction is not a response to your self improvement.
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/21 06:43 PM
3

She is not that into you. If you call her out, it makes you seem desperate and weak. Just move on.
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/21 10:27 AM
6

I can attest to shifting priorities. I used to love working out hard for 3 hours for that big old chemical bump it would give me. But now that we have 2 kids, it isn't where priorities lie and 1 hour is enough to keep me healthy.
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/21 09:24 AM
2

How did I know my husband was the one? We went to a wedding of a childhood friend and i felt like he was very proud to introduce me to the people from his formative years. There were already so many green flags but his pride made me feel very loved. It is a feeling we maintain now, 3 years and 2 kids.
/r/RedPillWives21/09/21 09:05 AM
1

8 months. I hit a plateau from about 2 weeks pp to 4 months. I lost 10lbs almost overnight and I have been in a plateau basically since then. It took about 12 months to get back to pre-baby weight and fitness with my first. It felt easier though because I could always workout during nap times. Now someone is always awake. Plus my city isn't built for a double stroller so I have to get more creative than running.
/r/RedPillWives19/09/21 09:42 PM
1

I started a new workout class that I am still sore from. I have 10lbs of baby weight to go and it has not "fallen off" as everyone claims with breastfeeding. But I know if I keep doing the right things, I will get there.
/r/RedPillWives19/09/21 09:14 PM
2

Stress ages you. So does poor diet. Have you done any meditation? It helps me when I am revved up.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/21 11:02 PM
1

There is no municipal pool close? Normally you can get an inexpensive monthly membership. Sometimes they even include things like water aerobics. If not, do you live near a body of water?
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/21 07:54 PM
1

Do you like swimming? That would probably be the most comfortable way to exercise.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/21 07:20 PM
8

The reality is that if you have 100lbs to lose, it is best to start with your diet. Move yes, but our bodies aren't made for carrying that much weight, especially as the exercise gets higher impact, hence the injuries. As you lose more, you can increase your exercise time and intensity.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/21 06:31 PM
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