Thoughts?

pearlsandstilettos · 2021-10-18T21:59:54+00:00

OP, if you want advice then you need to use the following format:

If you are asking a personal relationship question, please answer the following questions:

What is the problem, and what do you think is the root of the issue? How have you contributed/attempted to mitigate the problem? What is your current relationship status and length of time? Be honest with yourself about what background is needed to help the community answer your question. Withholding information doesn't make it less true or relevant. Include the state of your sex life and ages

Let me know once you have made the updates and I will reapprove the post.

anothergoodbook · 2021-10-18T20:26:10+00:00

If he is cheating - no I wouldn’t stay. If he isn’t cheating, I think I’d go with Dr. Laura’s advice - be kind and leave when your youngest is 18 (and only if he is a reasonably decent guy - no drugs, no addictions, no abuse, etc).

As much as I hate to see families torn apart, sometimes they aren’t salvageable (although I hold firmly to the belief that nearly all can be saved).

What has he said about the situation?

SecretFeminine · 2021-10-18T19:41:10+00:00

Why would she want to do that? How did she find out about his enduring love for an ex? I feel like more information is needed. I don't have nostalgia for my exes but I can see how someone would have nostalgia for a period in time without actually wanting to be with the ex.

AngelFire_3_14156 · 2021-10-18T19:45:07+00:00

You've provided almost no information, but in general I would say definitely NO.

Although if there are kids involved, that could change the interpretation of "carries a torch" considerably.

SunshineSundress · 2021-10-18T20:38:34+00:00

INFO: you are still being a bit unclear. What proof did you find? You say like he’s been cheating the whole time, but what did he actually do?

SouthernGrass3 · 2021-10-18T21:37:14+00:00

Is he indulging the fantasy or trying to move past it to have a healthy relationship with you? This makes a world of a difference.

Dancersep38 · 2021-10-18T20:52:58+00:00

Absolutely not. But, you already have kids so maybe try some couples counseling?

emmalai85 · 2021-10-18T21:25:20+00:00

If he's not passionately in love with you - you choose to stay because it's comfortable. You can choose to stay for the kids, you can choose to stay for any reason you want.

You can also, decide you deserve passionate romance and love, and feel you're worth more than just "comfortable" in a relationship. The choice is yours, his having feelings for his ex, doesn't mean he doesn't love or care about you - having a "Grass is greener" feeling does happen, but it doesn't mean he wants to ACT on it - or that he will.

You can have a frank and honest discussion about how he feels in your marriage with you, if you guys aren't passionately in love, is friendship enough for you? You can be roommates and have seperate lives if you can be amicable together. there's 100 ways this could play out.

Title	Thoughts?
Author	ShadowInTheShadows
Upvotes	1
Comments	19
Date	October 18, 2021 7:33 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/qau540/thoughts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/thoughts.1078778 https://theredarchive.com/post/1078778

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