Part Field Report and part reminder

Several months ago I had been in something of a rut. Work was dragging me down, my daughter was starting pre-k soon so I was running around working on that, went through a couple of home owner emergencies, etc etc.

Needless to say the stress began to have an adverse affect on my dating life. One woman in particular I had been seeing didn’t get the best of me at all.

When we hooked up I did the bare minimum. I didn’t care about her pleasure I just wanted a quick nut, we’d hang out and I wouldn’t escalate nearly as much as I normally would, I was legit acting aloof and distant and not in the good way.

On one particular date we went out to the bar, went indoor mini golfing, and once again I barely touched her, didn’t flirt much, we just talked about random boring shit.

I walked her back to her car and she offered to drop me off at mine. But she sat in the drivers side, clearing with something on her mind, and turned to me and said, “I’m confused Derek. We have a good time but I don’t feel any passion. Should we just be friends?”

I sat there, shrugged, and I began to say, “Well if there’s no passion then oh well—“ then I stopped myself.

Wait a minute. Those words didn’t sound like me at all. Had I fallen so far that I was trying to negotiate desire and attraction while my game has been off????

Suddenly I realized that I had been fucking up. I used the disappointment on myself as fuel and took what she said not as a slight against me but as a challenge that I needed to rise to meet.

So I turned to her and without saying a word I began to finger her, and she got into it, then I pulled her on top of me and began to undo my belt and as we got started she moaned with a sigh of relief and said “There we go there’s the passion.”

I was in a rut but all it took was one moment for me to recalibrate myself. I started hitting the gym harder than before, fucking the way I knew I could fuck, and getting myself back on track

You will slip up, just be sure to recalibrate yourself.