As some of you may now, the UK is pretty hot, so after the clock hitt 530 and it checkout time from work, a few of us headed out for a drink in the sun.

Slowly, everyone leaves to start of their weekend, and it's me and a guy friend from work. He arranges to meet his girlfriend and one of her friends in a park, and I decide to tag along.

We meet them, and have a few beers in the park. His girlfriends friend, Jill, is cute, and we get on well. She is Greek, and has some terrible Greek booze with her, which somehow manages to taste worst than Ouzo, and she's drinking it like water. I tease her about being an alcoholic and having destroyed her taste buds.

As the sun goes down, we head to a bar. After a few drinks it's my round, so I head to the bar.

As I approach, I notice a blonde barmaid tell a group of loud guys that they are on their last chance, any more shit they are out. She then turns to me.

"Well, don't you look stressed out"

"Haha, they are so annoying" Glares at them and then back at me "I just want to kick them out"

"Is that your angry face?"

"Ha, yes"

"Hmm, you need to work on that, it's not very scary"

"Oh really?"

"Yea, growl more, try it"

She laughs, makes a scary face and growls.

"Haha, not bad, needs some work"

I order my drinks, 3 gins and tonic, and she places them on the bar with the bottles of tonic next to them. I pour the tonic "Hey, I just did half your job, I should get some kinda discount!"

"Is that right?"

"Absolutely!"

"Haha, OK, I'll give you a 10% discount"

"Your a star kid, I see big things in your future, what's your name?"

"Sara"

I reach across the bar and we shake hands "Nice to meet you Sara, do you have a pen and piece of paper?"

"Hmm, yea" she turns round, rips a piece of the order notebook, picks up a pen and turns back.

"Great, stick your phone number on it"

She looks a little surprised, and laughs "OK" she leans against the bar and writes it down "I'm working all weekend, but I'm free mid next week"

"Cool, I'll text you, and we can organize some kind of adventure" I take the piece of paper and stick it in my pocket then pick up my drinks.

"OK, what's your name?"

"scottishredpill, it was nice to meet you Sara. Cheer up"

"Haha, I will"

I return to my group, and Jill notices I "forgot" to get her a drink. She complains, so I throw some money at her and tell her to go to the bar. She throws it back and says she is fine, and sticks her tongue out at me.

We finish the drinks, and leave to catch up with some more of their friends. At this point, Jill says she is going home. I isolate her

"Hey, you were moaning you have no friends, gimme your number and I might be your friend"

"OK"

I take my phone out and bring up the text message screen "Just getting someone number is boring, send yourself a text message"

"What?"

"Put your number here, then write yourself a text message, Fiona"

"My name isn't Fiona"

"I know, but you don't really look like a Jill"

"And I look like a Fiona"

"Not really, but it was the first name that popped into my head"

"Haha, OK" She takes my phone, and texts herself "I'm Fiona!"

"Great" we hug and have a quick kiss "I'll talk to you soon"

I catch up with my friend and his girlfriend and we head to the next bar.

We meetup with their friends, 4 girls, and I introduce myself to the group while my friend talks to one of them. As I reach across the table to shake hands with one of them, the girl closest to me pinches my ass.

"Hey, that's not free!" I say as I turn to her

"Haha, why not?"

"You could at least buy me a drink before you sexually assault me!"

"Haha, OK, what do you want?" as she gets up from her seat.

"Your too kind, I'll have a G&T, but that doesn't mean I will sleep with you"

"Oh, that's a shame, I was hoping to get you drunk and take advantage"

"Ha, behave. Although, a few drinks and I'm any ones"

"I'll keep that in mind"

"Oh, you sound like trouble."

As she returns with my drink, I notice one of the barmaids from a place I have lunch, who works with the girl I kissed in a previous FR, so I open her.

"Hey pal, how are you doing?"

"Hey scottishredpill, I'm good, how are you?"

As we hug, "Great, enjoying the sun!"

"So I can see, wow, that's some tan. Been on holiday?"

"No, just been in the park"

"We haven't seen you in ages, why haven't you been in?"

"The sun, chick, I've been going to <bar with a beer garden>."

"Traitor!"

"Aww, don't be like that. It kinda does feel like I've been cheating on you guys"

"You have!"

"Aww, will a kiss make it better?"

"Maybe"

I pull her into me and we kiss.

"Oh, you are bold!" she says when we break. "I heard you bumped into Jane last week"

"I did, she's such a champ"

"Haha, when will you be back to see us?"

"When the sun goes, kid, then I'll be all yours again"

"Good, we miss your cheeky smile"

"Haha, your such a flirt. I better get back to my friends"

We hug, say goodbye and head back to my friends. Most of the group has disappeared, leaving my friend, his girlfriend and tall brunette, Lucy, from the group we meet.

"Me and the bird are gonna head home, scottishredpill"

"Ah cool."

"I'm going <club>, scottishredpill" Lucy says "Want to come with me?"

"Hmm, sure, why not"

We head outside, and say good bye to my pal and his girlfriend. As Lucy and I start to walk down the street, I hold out my arm, and say "Arm" and she slots her arm into mine.

"Hi, I'm Fred"

"No it's not, your name is scottishredpill"

"I know, but I like telling people the wrong name, and make up a crazy story. Want to play?"

"Haha, OK.... I'll be Freda!"

"Freda, really? OK, Freda, we've been a married 10 years, we don't have kids because, well, fuck that, and we are planning a 6 month trip to Antarctica"

"Haha, your crazy"

"I have been called worse"

"Haha, OK, I'll play"

As we walk to the club, we discuss our trip and how horrible it would be if we had kids.

As we arrive at the bar, there is a queue of about 6-10 people. Lucy tries to make us stop at the end, but I tug at her and continue past them and approach the biggest bouncer

"Hey man, how's it going?" I say as I stop at him, making eye contact and smiling

"Not bad"

"It's still bloody roasting man, had a chance to get any of the sun?"

"A bit, took the kids too the park"

"Awesome man, I bet they are loving being off school and the weather being bitching, what age are they?"

"10 and 11"

"Nice, must be a lot of fun on the park!"

"Aye, it is, good having a kick about, but they wee buggers are too fast"

"Haha, getting old man, getting old, I know that feel. Say, can me and my pal get in, I'm dying for a drink and she's paying"

"Ha, no problem man, have a good night"

"Cheers man" I shake his hand "Hope you the weather stays nice and you get some more kick about with the wee one's, what's name?"

"Paul, I hope so too, have a good night" he says as he moves the rope to let us in.

"Cheers, Paul, I hope I have a good night too, although this girl here seems like trouble, so I dunno"

"Oi!" exclaims Lucy, and punches me with her free arm

"See! Haha"

"Wow, that was impressive, have you been here before? Do you know the bouncers?" Lucy asks as we head up the stairs into the bar.

"Nah, never been here"

"How did you know he would let us skip the queue?"

"I didn't, thought I would try my luck, I'm a charming asshole, chick"

"I'm not sure about the charming" she retorts

I slip my arm from hers, "Cheeky", spin her round in the direction of the bar and smack her ass "I'll have a vodka and lemonade"

I walk away and head to the toilet before she responds. When I return, she is standing next to the dance floor with two drinks. I approach her, take my drink, take her hand and lead her into the middle of the dance floor and we start to dance.

The dance floor isn't massive, the club is split across a number number of floors. There is a shelf along a wall near us, so I take her drink off her, and place them on the shelf. When I return, I grab her, spin her around, into me and kiss her.

When we stop, she takes two steps away from me, looking surprised, staring at me, eyes wide, pupils dilated. I smile, stick my tongue out at her, and pull her back into me.

We dance and kiss for about 30mins, things are getting pretty heated. I spin her, and pull her ass into my crotch, and bite the back of her neck, and then pull her head back with my hand pulling her hair at the base.

"Let's get out of here, now"

She giggles "Hmm, I don't know"

"No, now or I'm gonna go without you"

"I'm going to the toilet" she says, and heads off the dance floor.

And she never returns! After waiting 15 minutes, I quickly check the other dance floors, and can't find her.

I decide to call it night, and head home.

The next day, I text my pal, and discover she has a boyfriend, they have been together for over 5 years.

Whoops.