The time: Fall, 2010

The setting: University of Tulsa, Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA

I was back in the US, having spent a short couple of weeks in China, and I'd just made a big fucking mistake. The drama of my summer and my first LTR had been the topic of so many conversations with my family, and now I was faced with a very real, quite permanent protective order.

Could have, should have, would have.. It bothered me to no small degree that I, such a good and wholesome young man, could be subject to such humiliation by someone who I should never have gotten so hopelessly involved with. As my mother would remind me, "If you listened to me, you would have it so much easier."

This shit show was my doing, and I'd have to make my own way out of it.

"I'm young, I'm handsome, I'm fast, I'm pretty, and I can't possibly be beat!"

All told, I was feeling quite fortunate, even though I'd received this slap on the wrist. I knew that, if the truth were told, I'd have supporters. I was looking to graduate: this would be my last hurrah. After this semester, an envious job would await, and I'd be clawing my way up the corporate ladder like so many other youth entering the oil and gas industry. The job market was looking good, and I was confident in my ability to find an opportunity.

So with classes back in session, I was eager to get ahead of where I'd already been.

I'd been visiting with one girl, JS, over the summer. She was a pretty chill graduate student, and we had known each other for a while. She knew that I wanted her, but she remained just out of my reach. I decided that I would double down on my effort to attain her.

There were also a bunch of new students. I observed that the number of Chinese undergraduates around campus had gone up considerably since I started school in 2007, and there were a couple of cute ones in my building.

Note for the reader: I realize that this entry is a little short and somewhat scratched out. I sometimes get a mental block when I sit down and start writing this story, but I no longer want to keep it bottled up as I have so many others. Whenever I come across artifacts from the period, the writing comes naturally and the feelings are quite strong, so I will revisit my previous journaling on the subject before the next entry. Thanks for reading down to this point. Til next time..

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