A couple of days ago I ran into an old buddy of mine, whom I haven't seen for a very long time, and as you can imagine we ended up drinking and sliding down over memory lane. Short version, he marries older CC veteran, gets divorce raped, looses a ton of money in the process, the house, the works, as you expect. But my buddy isn't a pussy, so even with "whore support" to pay up he launches a start-up and focuses on making a good life for himself. Whore finds a BB, gets married a week before my bud sells the very successful business for millions. SHE TRIED TO SUE HIM over that, arguing that she is entitled to half because why not? Case gets dismissed by female judge, whore tries to make money playing the male oppression card. With a female judge ... long story short he is in the clear and she is in trouble, even her BB got an annulment in the process.

That reminded me of some of my own WTF/FML moments, and here are two of them for laughs.

One fateful night some years ago, I was at a party a friend of mine put together for his birthday, awesome crowd, some hot chicks some not, tons of fun, you know the drill. I got trashed with my buddy and his brother, I hit some girls (I was drunk so fuck knows if they were hot or not), one is DTF, so we go to my ONS apartment where I promptly pass out. Only to wake up with my apartment spruced with pink. Yeap, fucking pink. Bed sheets, all kinds of pink stuff around the house a few unpacked boxes, plush toys in my fucking bed and a live fucking cat. The chick moved in while I was passed out! FML. I just called the cops ... being freaked out and somewhat hungover I told the operator some chick moved in while i was sleeping. Hilarity ensued. She was legitimately crazy with a history and all that, her sister came over and sorted the whole story. Turns out I'm the third guy she moved in with, one of the others was in vacation with his wife when she got in their homes! She is harmless though. In a scary crazy way.

Fast Forward a few years later, again at a party, I get myself pretty drunk, and some hot babe (alcohol fueled she looked like a 9, afterwards she was an 7-8 or so), starts taking care of me, calling me baby, cowboy, and telling me all kinds of sexy-sexy stuff, I escalate, she is DTF we go to her place, all the while being all over each other. I get a bit rough, she likes it, turns my horny dial up by 100% with moaning, pulling my hair and what not, we go to her place. We get naked, I'm about to fuck her when she pulls an awesome move on me (awesome in retrospective ) I get confused and a bit scared since now I'm handcuffed behind my back. She look horny as fuck and about to fuck my brains out so I chirp "Baby?". She pulls one of those spanking paddles and a but plug. I'm still drunk but fucking properly scared now, so I'm running around the house while she WHOOPS my ass with the paddle trying to put the butt plug in. She jumped on my back and keeps SPANKING me hard while yelling "Run Ruby, Run" while I scream like a little girl and try to shake her off and protect my ass in the same time. End of story : I got my ass whooped, she got a nasty bruise when she fell from my back ( but I thought you liked it ... you didn't ask you stupid bitch), we didn't fuck, I survived the but plugging attempt, we parted ways as "friends" and I'm avoiding her like plague since.

Have a great day folks, and stay the fuck safe :)