hey, ive been following these forums for a few months, and i sense that in here i might get some good feedback/advice on a subject thats been eating me up a bit lately.and i know that because, regardless of what brought us all (and keeps us) here, it was surely something related to a feeling of deception, or simply a choice to come of age and to enter manhood through a realistic path - no bullshit, no false hopes, straightforwardness, consciousness and honor.

i can say i came here for the first reason - i recently played the part of a beta orbiter who waited too long and put the girl on a pedestal, something we all know is everything but healthy to a man. nor does it get him anywhere.needless to say, she kept stalling with me, we even made out several times, never to get anywhere further than that, till she came back to her clingy former boyfriend (thats a whole other story).

long story short - i feel my view on women has changed quite a bit, and i'm glad that i can now broaden my perspective on girls, beyond their looks or their false sense of mystery (a sense of mystery any beta would gladly keep feeding over his pedestalized dreamgirl).

i'm writing here because, however positive that change of view has been, i can't let go of some internal pressure of what i think its the right thing to do. and asking you how you deal with that pressure - ill explain: ive recently met a fantastic girl, cool, inteligent, great sense of humor, sociable, easygoing, great taste in music, arts, books, movies, a sense of adventure (and a great cook too!). i havent met a girl like that in a fkin LONG TIME (including that empty headed girl i pedestalized not too long ago).

despite all that, i cant get over the fact that im not attracted to her. and my question is: is it normal that i feel some kind of internal pressure to get intimate with this chick (ive had the opportunity twice, and she was begging me with her eyes to make a move)? is it normal that i feel bad at the end of the night for not making a move on such a cool girl?

its a big issue for me - we all talk about some society's pressure on us (young) men (which i agree to some point), but bigger than that is HOW TO COPE WITH THE PRESSURE WE IMPOSE ON OURSELVES. and we guys know, especially the ones with somewhat of a beta past, that any easy opportunity should be grasped (scarcity mentality).

ive once been with a girl i wasnt attracted to, just because she was willing, and the situation was so easy it felt stupid not to take it (all guys know what im talking about) and i felt LIKE Sht after that. i dont want to feel like that again. i dont want to feel like sht after giving in to some pressure i impose myself to be with a girl im not attracted to physically, despite thinking she is great, just so that i can feel more of a man. - i didnt feel more of a man, i felt like sh*t...

how to let go of this pressure and just be cool with life and with girls, not overthinking this?where do you think this pressure stems from? a scarcity mentality? or some belief that, deep down, i deserve to be with someone i feel attracted to in all ways? i feel in kind of a limbo, stuck between 2 visions about women. - hot empty headed selfcentered girls, great cool chicks which lighten up my day but to whom im not attracted. have you guys felt this limbo? how did you deal with it?