A loosely related response to this post: https://archive.today/WhfzL It just got too long and complex to be a reply.

Simply put, flakes happen because she is not motivated to meet you. NOT because she doesn't like you, or has a hotter guy, etc. These are different things. Edit: I need to add that I'm referring to flakes on girls who are otherwise sexually available... if she's still attached to her ex or something like that, there's not a lot anyone can do.

The average desirable girl has a dozen orbiters providing for her validation and material needs. She might have guys providing her sexual validation through sexting and nudes. This is not her sexuality, it is sexual validation, and these men are providers like any other in her eyes (I've been one). Also remember that the average girl is much less invested in sex than the average guy is.

Say you catch a girl who isn't particularly motivated to have sex at the time you meet her. But, she evaluates you, sees the attraction, and exchanges numbers, then a few texts anyways. Then she flakes on the meetup. Why? I used to rage and say "why should we NOT meet up? We're into each other!" I was forgetting her perspective: "my orbiters give me everything I need except for sex, and I'm not particularly horny right now. Why SHOULD we meet up?"

Honestly, my belief is that social media's role in all this is two-fold: first, it's trained our society to accept that not all messages will be answered which makes flaking "acceptable." Second, it's provided a conduit for validation that used to come from a spouse, boyfriend, or even just a guy she was "seeing." This factor removes the "validation" motivation for wanting to meet men.

Given this, there are a total of three ways to get a girl to keep a date:

  1. She's looking for a provider.

  2. She perceives you as well out of her league and a rare opportunity... if offered an expensive meal for free, who wouldn't take it, even if not hungry?

  3. She is seeking sex, AND you are her best option at the time.

"Best option" doesn't mean highest SMV. She might have an ex she prefers to go back to when he's available, to keep her count low. She might have a rule against guys she doesn't know well... or a rule against guys she does know well. The only way to win this game is quantity: talk to many girls and hope one of them is DTF. If you want to be efficient, be strategic about where you meet them. That's all you can do.