This is really just a moment of life-checking, to see about the course I am on. It's a bit FR, a bit RP Theory, but I think FR fits better.

Yesterday, a partner (plate, whatever - I'm openly non-monogamous, so "partner" works as well) of about 7 months, called me "rich". I had to ask her what she meant. What followed was a stream of complimentary material, which summed up to "you do what you want". Which to her, is equivalent to wealth.

I am not wealthy. I am very well-paid in my decades-long career, for doing an extremely good and thorough job. But wealthy? No. If I stopped working, I might be able to string things along for up to a year, but then it would be a pretty hard stop. But her point was that I spend my time and money on the things I want to do. Even when she said she believed I am "generous", it is really that I am generous about those things I want to do. I am no BB, but I can definitely take a girl to Jumbo's Clown Room (look it up), hand her a stack of ones, and say, "reward the ladies for their fine performances". And have, but that isn't generosity for her sake. I'm spending my money on a very good time (and the dancers rather liked her as well, so... bonus).

I have some time since set up my working situation to accommodate my lifestyle (no office, work from wherever I am, etc.) But I did those things. They didn't fall in my lap, or were greased by familial contacts, etc. They were goals I set out on, and went ahead and did them, paying attention to NOTHING that could distract me. Maybe it's a bit of selective ADD, but I truly pay no attention to things I don't care about, including social conventions (especially those, as they are almost always inane and at cross-purposes to success). I'd lived the life of "fitting into cultural/societal expectations" for quite long enough to know how absolutely wasteful that is of one's precious real resources - one's personal energy, money, time, and respect.

Since adding RP to my non-monogamy, my entire life has changed, and while this has been a not-always-smooth road, it has definitely been a path which has provided understandings, experiences, and growth that I never expected to have. And these are positive things.

This whole FR was kicked off by another post in TRP, in which a guy blames his lack of success on his environment. And, from the sound of it, his environment truly is a shitty place to have the kind of successes people report from RP. But the problem is, his post and all his rather unthankful replies to people giving sound advice, is that "none of that works here, so you're all wrong". No agency of his own at all evident from his writings.

I think the main thing RP returned to me was my full male agency. I had tremendous professional agency, but as a man? Not so much. Thank you, RP. There are still rocks in the road, and I'm sure there's a chasm or two waiting for me, but I can recognize the risks, and manage the journey, now.