Today was a shitty day. It was surprising becasue when I woke up today I was feeling great. It was a nice day, not hot at all, the temperature was just right. I went to the gym got a great workout in and then it started to go downhill.

I sucked so much today. To be honest it was something a girl said to me a couple of days ago that messed me up a little. I was out with this girl and she told me about her dating life. She was telling me how I wasn't the first person to approach her(of course) in fact she told me she told me about the PUAs around Union Square and Washington Square Park in NYC. She described some of them and thank god none of the description were me, haha.

She told me about this black guy that just spam approach and that he called her after she blocked his number, another guy that just sat down next to another girl and just used routine lines. She saw a group of guys going after girl after girl. Basically she made me opened my eyes about approaching in public.

I felt insecure about myself and my approach anxiety reached an all time high. The last thing I want is people to spread rumors about me and whatnot. I know I'm kinda being paranoid but having this girl tell me about it is affecting me. I was trying to approach today but in the back of my mind I can hear myself saying

"They know what you're going to do"

"Don't do it or they'll expose you"

"This girl was opened the same exact way, why would it matter?"

This took a hit to my self esteem and confidence. I know women get hit on all the time and a lot of people daygame in NYC but this messed me up mentally. I approached women today but I was so paranoid. I felt like I was being watched, feeling embarrassed and ashamed. I felt like everyone was looking at me and in turn my sets did not go well. I was stuttering, I was asking way too many questions and most importantly I was uncomfortable which in turn makes the girl uncomfortable.

It wasn't just today but I've been feeling like there is no point to approaching some of these women. I approach them, get there contact, go out on date and then never hear from them again. What's the point? Maybe it's my outlook but I see no endgame with these women.

Today was such a fucking clusterfuck of a mess. This is all in my head. I know it is but I could not for the life of me get passed it. I tried being positive and not giving a fuck but my anxiety and fears got the best of me. My communication was garbage. Simple small talk was next to impossible. I feel like I'm regressing, not improving at all. I used to be decent at it but now I feel like I'm back to where I first started. Fuck me. I feel like I should take some time off from game and just do other things.