All my life I’ve been focused on women - it was my purpose. I always wanted to be a ladies man, phone full of chicks wanted to chill or hook up. I wanted to be the “man” - I grew up thinking the man meant having a lot of women. I literally used to deeply think that if you have a girlfriend or wife you won at life. A little over a year ago I found my oneitis and I thought I was finally the man. I had a woman who accepted me for me and wanted to have kids with me and be with me. I found my purpose - be with her, take care of her and enjoy my time with her. We broke up and I have been working on healing from it now that I understand where I fucked up.

But still though, I want more women now. I understand it’s normal, but it is very poisonous to my mental because now that I understand that a woman will never be mine and it’s always just going to be my turn, until I break frame or a potential better option comes. And a lot of the other principles.

I don’t see them as a good long term investment. And I’ve lived my life trying to get something that isn’t really attainable.

I want to find a purpose. I just need help defining exactly what a purpose is. I feel this void in my chest. I love self improvement and have picked up many different things that help me improve everyday as long as I am consistent, but are these activities my purpose? It doesn’t feel like it.

What exactly is a purpose? Is it to just enjoy life? Is it to achieve a certain amount of dollars? Is it a number of women to sleep with? Or is it really something only I can define for myself?

I understand that you can’t buy happiness or love. And you can’t even try to make it happen on your own, happiness just comes.

Will working on my purpose bring me happiness? Does working on your purpose bring you happiness?

Anyone have any insight?