[Basic question] Hard no vs. LMR

RPSigmaStigma · 2015-08-23T12:24:58+00:00

The PUA community is full of good advice on handling LMR. The general advice, like in this video is to learn how to recognize the early signs of LMR before she even gets to the point of having to verbalize anything. As soon as you feel her tense up or pull away in the slightest, you back down and casually continue conversation or watching TV or whatever. Then you go back to escalating again after a few minutes.

Another thing to keep in mind is that foreplay is 24/7. Make sexual innuendo, smack her ass playful whenever you pass her in the house, give her seductive glances when you're sitting together, etc. The idea is to get her thinking about sex more regularly instead of just springing it on her all at once as soon as you're horny and expecting her to just get turned on right away.

enfier · 2015-08-23T18:16:29+00:00

My thing is that I'm constantly escalating. My wife is a sexual being and we have a sexual relationship so that carries over into everyday life. Smacking her ass as she walks by, telling her she missed a spot when she's wiping the floor so I can see down her shirt - you get the idea. It's fun and it's playful and there's always a bit of full court press going on.

So against that context LMR or hard no doesn't really matter. I'm always apply a bit of playful pressure and whether it's LMR or hard no just really doesn't matter.

The honest truth is that in our relationship the boundaries are really fuzzy. It's important to realize that your wife lives in the here and now and not 15 minutes into the future. It's a hard no right now, but maybe in 15 minutes she'll have changed her mind. It's not important that you get it right 100% of the time.

bogeyd6 · 2015-08-23T12:19:35+00:00

Lmr are things like I'm tired. I have a head ache. Her saying she is not in the mood. You a&a or amused mastery through those. Hard no is really saying no I'm not having sex. Sometimes a hard no is also when she gets up and leaves your presence.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-08-23T23:46:11+00:00

I would normally say read SGM, give her a safe word, and tell her you plan to cave man her in the future unless she uses it- but if she uses it the rules say that you need to get busy and you won't have time to give her any attention until the next night when she doesn't use it.

However, you have been married long enough to have 5 month droughts and you don't communicate with your wife well enough to distinguish a hard no and a playful LMR?

Ummmm....

What books have you read?

Title	[Basic question] Hard no vs. LMR
Author	The_Litz
Upvotes	2
Comments	9
Date	August 23, 2015 9:21 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3i2bbs/basic_question_hard_no_vs_lmr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/basic-question-hard-no-vs-lmr.208149 https://theredarchive.com/post/208149

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