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ford_contour Archive

View 9 posts and 465 comments by ford_contour on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Have a look at Kiva micro lending. Since the loans get paid back, it reduces some of the damage that cash donation charities can do to foreign economies. In theory, it supports businesses that would have succeeded anyway, just accelerates them; rather than propping up those that would fail without charity. Edit: Just saw the key word "time" in your post. I think Kiva is more of a cash charity. For donating time, check your local library for stuff already going on. There will probably be plenty o…
/r/askMRP19/06/17 03:22 AM
5

Lots of great advice in this thread already. I'll add my cardinal rule: Four minutes is a lifetime. Unless I have made a commitment to be somewhere, I can make four minutes for one of my kids, when they seek my attention. I can be four minutes late to work with no consequences - I generally don't, but I could. Four minutes to a 1 year old is literally forever, to their tiny brains. I hold my son "literally forever" every other night as part of his bedtime routine. Four minutes may as well be for…
/r/askMRP15/06/17 01:22 AM
3

Some guys get so obsessed with their gut that they cut when they could be bulking, and become tiny when they wanted to become toned. Here's a few mirror self tests: If you can make your gut disappear by sucking it in, start with your posture habits. If your arms look tiny, eating more food, learning more safe exercises and lifting more weight is likely to be the most satisfying. In contrast, if your face is carrying extra weight, you are likely to get more mileage out of reducing your calorie in…
/r/askMRP25/03/17 01:01 PM
12

Thanks for this. This kind of response is what makes this community great: It's cool to see empathy given without any compromise of our expectations that OP will still own his shit. Also just good advice.
/r/askMRP08/03/17 02:31 AM
2

Congrats on breaking six figures! And thanks for sharing your numbers analysis.
/r/RedPillWorkplace07/03/17 04:10 AM
1

I would add delivering sellable product on time without mistakes to this list. Which I guess is a kind of leadership, come to think about it.
/r/RedPillWorkplace07/03/17 04:09 AM
3

This is Married Red Pill, not Married Sociopath. Don't kill other people's pets. Your post history doesn't shout troll, but this puts you on the watch list - and it's probably not the only one you're on, man. If you're worried for your kid's safety, start regularly bribing the dogs with small treats, much like every mail-man does. Talk to the dogs owner about any diet restrictions the dogs might have. Don't kill other people's pets. What the fuck.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/17 03:41 AM
2

You basically just asked what else is worth pursuing, so here's a checklist of achievements you might enjoy! Do people subtly gravitate to you because you're in the best shape of your life, and dressed in clothes that fit well and suit your personal style? Do job interviews tend to be informalities because you have mastered both interpersonal charm and a difficult professional skill in high demand? Do a select few young humans believe you are the best man to ever live, because you have invested …
/r/askMRP03/03/17 01:05 PM
2

Studies have shown that the best sex is had by people in long term relationships who are so old that no one else wants to imagine that they still have sex... like seven times every day... between all those precious moments collectables in every room of the house...
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/17 12:51 PM
2

Don't lie to your wife. Don't go out of your way to have worthless conversions, either. (Acta, Non Verba) If your wife does something that mildly annoys you, you're no more obligated to tell her so than to tell that guy who smokes within 15 feet of the entrance at work. If she does something that annoys you and then asks whether it bothered you, tell her the truth (nicely). That's just common courtesy.
/r/askMRP02/03/17 12:52 PM
1

OwnYourShit.co score was 18 this week. Hell of a week to try it for the first time, as lots of things were on hold thanks to sick kids. I guess I get a nice baseline to work up from. Health Owning. Having a house full of sick kids was enough to push me into finally going the whole week without a single chocolate bar. I love chocolate, but I love feeling healthy more. I finally started going to the gym three days per week. Feels terrific! I've been doing body weight for three years; and the machi…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/17 02:34 AM
11

Great question. This gives us an opportunity to clarify: A man has a responsibility to game his life partner. She deserves his attention and playfulness and sexual advances every bit as much as she deserves his thoughtfulness, leadership, kindness, loyalty and strength. That said, a wife that's consistently turning down sex isn't a man's life partner at all - she's either "future life partner" or "future ex-wife". A man in OPs situation should do some serious soul searching about how the best ve…
/r/askMRP26/02/17 09:46 PM
5

don't when you don't want. Careful there, for a monogamy relationship, a much better rule is: "Have sex when you want it. Have sex when spouse wants it."
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/17 04:08 PM
1

Be patient. If your genes aren't predisposed to getting huge, it may take more muscle to show. Same old rule applies, of course. It took years to look the way you do now, it may take years to look the way you want to. If you're not feeling hungry, you're probably not working hard enough during your work outs. Learn learn learn. Then make your work out more intense. (Not using cardio, though - cardio hunger will lead to lean muscle endurance gains, which you're probably not seeking right now). Mo…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/17 04:29 AM
6

Don't lie to her. Do say something kind, because no one is guaranteed a tomorrow. Find one of the following that is true, or something similar: "I'm looking forward to having dinner with you tomorrow night." "It's nice to have some space, but I'm looking forward to (thing you enjoy doing together), when I get back." Worst case, you can use a simple "I'll see you tomorrow night." Remember, the anger phase does go away. Respect yourself during it. Respect her during it. Above all, realize it's you…
/r/askMRP09/02/17 02:09 AM
3

Paying positive attention to those we love isn't something we do just when we feel "in the mood". Find new ways to show you care.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/17 10:36 PM
3

Exactly. You nailed the core of the matter. I always viewed it as OYS. Can you be an adult regardless of her input. If she punched out tomorrow, do you have the ability to run the ship by yourself? If a man can't run his house without his wife, that makes him a bit less of a man. Of course he should not have to. The kids should be raised to contribute. The spouses should be a team. But shit happens. People get laid up. A man should know how to make his castle a safe happy place, even if the wife…
/r/askMRP21/12/16 04:54 AM
1

Re: dividing up responsibilities: As a leader of a team, you know how much of the team's work I'm responsible for? All of it. Your power will grow with what you take personal accountability for. If you have a spouse and kids, then, at the very minimum, you need to choose to be entirely responsible for the state of the home, the state of the family transportation and the state of the family budget. You don't do the dishes to get laid; you do them to have clean dishes.
/r/askMRP21/12/16 04:49 AM
2

It's been a crazy week, so this will be a short one. Shit I Need To Own Family Frame Dearest daughter is having a go at the terrible twos. It was hell with the previous kid, but it's just adorable with her. Even so, I intend to get on my frame game and help her reach the realizations she's looking for, and help her minimize self inflicted pitty party suffering. Also I intend not to openly laugh at her antics, if at all possible. Lifting Due to shitty form and inexperience, I flirt with self inju…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/16 02:50 AM
2

For your situation specifically: Become more interesting. Become more attractive. Enjoy more sex. Keep your cool until you're out of the anger phase. Direct your anger into your scheduled compound lifts. Bigger picture for everyone else reading along: Complaining about scheduled sex is right there with "Why does my favorite restaurant throw in free steak and chocolate cake with every order every Tuesday after seven?" Who cares. Enjoy it if you've got it. Learn to see sex as chocolate. If you nee…
/r/askMRP12/12/16 11:37 PM
2

Yeah. Haha. That's why /r/marriedredpill is so hard on newbies. There's a lot of value in having this safer place for newbies, though.
/r/askMRP12/12/16 11:25 PM
2

Don't flirt with the poor kid working at Starbucks. That's not an equal situation, and you won't get real useful feedback. If you were looking to divorce and switch, I would say don't be a flake about it - just lawyer up; and then get out there and meet new people. If you just want to increase your own SMV through associations, then get some social hobbies and spend time with the interesting people you meet. If you want to get better at game to make fun times with the wife more fun, then just ga…
/r/askMRP11/12/16 07:40 PM
1

Since I didn't marry a close relative, my wife and I have significantly dissimilar genetics, and so my wife and I have to figure out our unique dietary needs separately. I support her efforts to figure out gut discomfort issues by stocking whatever foods she had been eating most lately, when I do a grocery run. She supports my efforts to eat clean and stay lean in lots of ways that I'm too focused and self centered to regularly notice. That said, she wasn't even aware I had changed my diet until…
/r/askMRP11/12/16 01:50 AM
2

I would put forth that this may be more of a measure of your trust with your husband, not of the practicality of having a well paid, responsive babysitter. Re the "Go ahead and hire the attractive one" bit of my comment, which I'm guessing is the bit that bothers you: Lots of babysitters are younger and more attractive than the men and women they work for. It's part of the nature of being young enough to do a job where the minimum required skill is low (though I prefer to hire high skill people,…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/16 06:08 PM
1

Wow, some of y'all took that way out of proportion. Of course you wouldn't flirt with the help. I shouldn't have to clarify this. This falls under, "Don't shit where you eat." and The Golden Rule, and common sense. But don't hire the portly option just to keep your wife from worrying, either. That's all.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/16 06:00 PM
6

Examples that inspire emotion: Bring up some past pain that is hard to talk about, that you rarely talk about, but probably should talk and more. Narrate a favorite shared experience to her, through your eyes - getting double mileage out of a past date! Talk to her about someone or some place you miss, and wish you could share with her. Describe to her a perfect moment in your life that would have actually been better if she has been there, even though you two had never met yet. (Yes, let her be…
/r/askMRP09/12/16 06:31 AM
3

DEVI is for someone you want to have a lot of great sex with. So yeah, for most guys, it's not appropriate for use of the wife. I use it on my wife religiously. It's my responsibility to use it on my wife, as long as we're still into fucking each other. Anyone in a LTR of any kind who is aware of Sex God Method and isn't using it, is a selfish ass. :) And yeah, the E works fine. Yes, on the surface it sounds like "play with her emotions" - sounds like manipulative bull shit. But that's not what …
/r/askMRP09/12/16 06:24 AM
2

Your answer is right there in your post. Do low impact stuff. Cycling, isometrics, pull ups. I only do low impact exercises, for the same reasons you said. I have found compound lifts are actually perfectly low impact, for me, when moving a safe amount of weight for my body. Unless your doctor said to literally never lift anything over a certain weight, you're probably just lifting wrong, or lifting too much weight for your current muscles. Sure, like me, your numbers will move slow and maybe ne…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/16 11:02 PM
2

Just buy another copy. It's like $8 and will buy you at minimum a bunch of pleasant evenings, and at best some additional measure of professional success.
/r/askMRP04/12/16 10:55 PM
13

Get a babysitter. An attractive one, if one is available (it's the most innocent form of highly effective dread, may as well use it.) Pay a bit higher than market average for your area and number of kids, and have a minimum number of monthly appointments that you never miss (2 or more is probably enough). The idea is to become her favorite customer (highest paying and consistently hiring her). This way soon you're truly free to get out without the kids when ever you feel like it; because the sit…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/16 01:30 AM
1

This is good advice, but it's only applicable after the mirror check "Would I fuck me?" comes back with at least a "maybe". Any earlier and it's a waste of time.
/r/askMRP01/12/16 02:37 AM
1

Reading your post history, you seem to be legitimately looking for answers and trying to bring value. Once in a long time, the mods let a victim puke stand undeleted and unbanned. You're 14 hours in, so I'm guessing this was yours. This sub was created by men, to help men, fix or escape their beta dead bedroom marriages. As a subscriber here, I'm only interested in helping your husband if he shows up personally, and even then only if he demonstrates that he has read all of the side bar material.…
/r/askMRP27/11/16 01:19 PM
5

Shit I'm Owning: Diet I spent the last week with zero tolerance for refined sugar. That's a big deal for me, because I'm still addicted to sugar pretty hard. When my planned break came around, the dessert I had panned on wasn't in stock. Since I have a rule not to eat sugar unless it's the best I can imagine, I skipped my reward dessert. Later that evening I had some of a friend's wedding cake at an intimate party. The whole situation is very different than six months ago when I fluent make it t…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/16 04:55 AM
3

Disclaimer: I'm not married. I'm 23 years old. I post in this thread because I find it helpful, and there's not really an equivalent in the other forums. As long as you're owning your shit, you're welcome here. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/16 04:40 AM
2

I don't seem to be terribly interested in any work though, and even in my personal life, the things I'm interested seem to change with the seasons Chapter 7 of "Your Money or Your Life" may be insightful to you. It talks about how we foolishly treat paid work as if it's the only kind of work, and then get confused when it doesn't satisfy us. How does one find/create drive/purpose? It feels like everything is already done for us in this modern world. Start tracking (write it down) what you've don…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/16 04:25 AM
1

Agreed, it won't get you laid. But let's hope we move beyond getting laid as our core motivation, at some point.
/r/askMRP23/11/16 03:08 AM
1

Let's make this much more immediate: Your wife is digging around for a promise you're not ready to make. So don't make it. Don't fiercely defend not making it, either. Just don't make it. Be a high value man who isn't committed to ever having kids. Then she gets to romanticize the whole story when you finally make up your mind. And until then she gets to romanticize the mystery of how you'd be a great father, but have some deeply personal brooding secret reason not to be one. You can't buy stuff…
/r/askMRP18/11/16 03:28 AM
3

our fights have exploded in magnitude This tells me you haven't read and internalized "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty." Get reading. And in the meantime, shut up and lift. :) Edit: And looking ahead - If she's still threatening to break things after you've learned not to feed the anger/frustration cycle, then it's time to lawyer up and divorce her.
/r/askMRP18/11/16 03:13 AM
2

An important chapter of "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty" covers changing your mind. Spoiler: We get me information all the time, sometimes it changes our minds. So you felt that way six months ago. Now you don't feel that way. As an often exhausted, but happy, father of three, I say: trust your gut, and don't have kids with someone you have any doubt about.
/r/askMRP17/11/16 01:46 AM
3

If a man does his absolute best and is miserable with a woman, he can certainly be miserable alone. Yes. This is the bit a lot of guys don't get when they're still improving. I've seen guys in here saying "She's a shrew who ruins the mood everywhere she steps; but I'm working on me, to improve my marriage." And I've seen guys, who thought "She keeps the house decently, brings in some extra money, mostly keeps the kids out of trouble, has a pretty tight body, and fucks in a casual but satisfying …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/16 01:46 AM
3

You just described my wife during my own IDGAF phase. Read Sex God Method, if you haven't yet. Reading it coincided, for me, with the realization that I could have whatever I want in bed, if I got my game in place (which I did).
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/16 12:25 AM
2

For me IDGAF was a phase I grew out of. Your mileage may vary. I recommend not making any drastic relationship changes until you're feeling personally centered. Put another way: just be sure you're hearing your own true inner voice, not just your own exasperation with the effort needed to change, before making irreversible changes.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/16 12:19 AM
1

I haven't paid much attention this Presidential election cycle, as I have a lot of my own shit going in right now, and I'm not in a swing state anyway. But Trump has long fascinated me, because he sits at the cusp of talent and luck. Certainly he has plenty of each; but it's hard to tell how much of each. He's not (currently) on my "strive to be more like him" list. His energy seems to go in too many different directions, for my taste. And even if he plays his cards perfectly, I wasn't dealt his…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/16 02:39 PM
7

I love the smell of any empty OYS thread in the morning. I'm proud of you guys that you guys have better things to do with your morning routine than Reddit. But I'm taking the day off, so I'll kick this off. Family Grade: C Halloween and a birthday party made this a busy weekend. Somewhere in the last year I turned over a new "just gets shit done" leaf, and I was startled to arrive at Trick or Treat time having done everything I had wanted to do to prepare. This mainly amounts strategic use of g…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/16 12:58 PM
4

It's out of line, but also just in the nature of kids though. They need someone to test their strength against. That's another reason Dad has to be an oak. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/16 04:03 PM
2

It was a revelation to me that I can tell my son that I'm angry and exactly why. It ends up being a lecture that actually builds him up. I expect the most from him, because he's the oldest. I expect him to be the most responsible, because he's the strongest. I expect him to take care of his mother, because he will be bigger than her, someday. I know it's the hardest for him, because he has only my example to look to, and I screw up plenty of the time. His siblings have my example and his to look…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/16 02:59 AM
2

Diet With the 2 month old, I don't cook as much and eat out a lot more. Since it's a temporary thing, I'm going to keep eating out for a bit longer. That said, I'm making much better choices when eating out. I'm completely off of soda, and alternate between unsweetened tea and water. I'm eating a lot less bread, and more quality meat and vegetables. Grade: C Good enough for this stage of life. Much better than before. Not belly as good as I intend to be. Finances Having a kid is expensive, but y…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/16 02:53 AM
2

When I was feeling fatigued and not losing weight, I got past it by starting eating more nutritious food. I quit limiting my calories this summer and started experimenting with green vegetable recipes with the passion and dedication of a teenager that just discovered internet porn.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/16 02:35 AM
1

I've been there on the weight loss thing. A bit of advice: buy some new clothes to celebrate. Doing good should look good, and it only will if you take the time to buy some clothes that fit.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/16 02:32 AM
2

If the wife is with a sex offender, your job as dad is to get full 100% custody. Anything less is bullshit and excuses. Lawyer up and don't even let her get visiting rights. They can see her with you present when they ask you to bring them to see her.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/16 02:28 AM
1

Owning Lifting: I've done body weight for a couple years, but added heavy lifts (80% of one rep max) last several weeks. I feel stronger. I don't see it in the mirror yet. Parenting: The two bigger little ones have fully adopted my "let's welcome the new baby" frame. Not a big deal - but definitely an area worth being intentional about. Finances: Kid three arrived on the shittiest insurance plan I've ever had, on top of the shittiest year of vehicle breakdowns I've ever had. I planned ahead for …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/16 02:03 AM
3

Your frame must also survive under the most grueling of circumstances - your wife being right. /thread (Well said!)
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/16 03:37 AM
1

Holy cow, "Something a gay man would wear" is my new mantra when shopping for socks. Thank you for that. My sock choices haven't satisfied me for awhile, and I haven't been able to put my finger on why. Buy that's it exactly. I'm wearing socks I have never seen on any fashion conscious (probably gay) man.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/16 03:29 AM
1

Thanks!
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/16 03:20 AM
1

I think you're right. Lift > STFU. I've seen ripped idiots in the wild doing okay, in spite of not knowing when to shut up. That said SFTU takes way less time to implement, heh.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/16 02:37 AM
2

Shit I'm Owning Family frame is a thing - an extension of your own frame. Baby 3 just arrived, so I'm learning to make the family frame reliable yet flexible. TLDR: Lots of cheating to give the older two kids extra attention and hugs while they process the change, without ever actually budging an inch on any rule they rely on for stability. Also, Holy shit, I don't remember what sleep feels like. Health: I'm romancing green food like it's beer and I'm underage. I'm putting green leafy vegetables…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/16 04:10 AM
6

This thread reeks of pointless machismo. Doesn't matter how I feel about an event, it matters how I act.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/16 10:15 PM
35

You lost me at "probably doesn't hit his wife anymore". Fuck this guy. I hope his ex takes his favorite toy, and he pays plenty of alimony. We're here to learn to be the fixed point that our families and friends can rely on, not to prop up abusers. If you think he's ready to swallow the pill after he hits bottom, fine. Pass him some resources then. Maybe then he'll be less shit during his once per year supervised visit with the kids. If there are any and he ever earns that. But I see no good rea…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/07/16 06:57 PM
2

A fine answer to "I love you" text is "love you too" if it's true; as long as you understand that it won't get you laid. But a better answer is a long passionate kiss saved for in-person.) delivery.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 03:13 AM
3

If my kid is ever foolish enough to ask at such a moment, I intend to answer truthfully and with a tiny bit too much detail. Bet he never make that mistake a second time...
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/16 03:09 AM
1

Thanks. I'm working on upping my for carb intake now. Hoping that helps reduce the cravings.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/16 09:57 PM
1

Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/16 09:56 PM
3

Shit I'm Owning Diet: I'm eating better than I ever have, and I'm starting to get random comments about how I've improved how I look. Frame: I'll write a full field report later, but the short version is that Dad's frame is everyone's frame. I've been intentional about picking a frame that matches the activities planned for the evening, and sticking to it so it catches for the whole family. I think the true magic of my family vacations growing up was that my parents were both more self-aware of …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/16 12:24 PM
1

Yeah, that's something I forgot that was a break through for me: Realizing I needed to add huge amounts of protein to make up for an overall calorie reduction. I know greens would need to become a big part of my diet, but I would never have gotten to that step if I had not first added a ton of protein to feel good.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/16 03:12 AM
1

What is a bro split?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/16 02:54 PM
1

A simple realization. You cant exercise your way out of eating like shit. Lift, live life, eat only when you need it, prioritize protein sources. It can really be that simple. Progress is self reinforcement. Words to live by. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/16 02:54 PM
2

I hear you on the intermittent fasting. I do some, too. I started on accident when I was working toward other goals. I went a whole day without eating just because I was too busy. I learned the term by realizing it had happened and researching to find out if it was anything to worry about. Now if I'm busy and happy, someone's I just skip a meal I know I won't miss.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/16 02:53 PM
1

I will do that. Thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/16 02:50 PM
5

And I'll go first: Motivation: My health is at "Probably won't drop dead suddenly." I'm a father and husband, so I want to move that to "Hard to kill son of a bitch". What didn't work: I stalled out when I started dreaming about getting bigger muscles. I finally had to choose healthy and small over unhealthy and big. I think this was unique to my body and diet, but it's a call I had to make. (Disclaimer: No, I didn't stop lifting.) What did work: Shit tons of bicycling to kick my metabolism on a…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/16 01:34 PM
1

I think the question is usually about legal marriage, the three way contact in which a man can lose his house and kids and get to pay child support... :)
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/16 01:31 AM
2

Thanks for the field report.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/16 01:27 AM
2

Guys ask all the time here "How do I get my wife to do X?" You've landed it with the dishes thing. It's just by doing X. Wife notices that the family has a new, higher standard. YMMV for guys reading along, but it has worked for /u/Guage22 and I. And the standard choreplay disclaimer: Evidence has shown that doing the dishes gets us clean dishes, not sex. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/16 07:46 PM
2

I hear you on thinking "I don't feel guilty" and putting off that book. Made the same mistake, myself.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/16 07:42 PM
1

Things I'm Owning: Going out with people that energize me more often. Rocking my professional and side projects. Not bringing every little thing I do to my wife for validation. She found out I was giving a talk at a local professional conference because one of her colleagues said he was looking forward to attending. It brings back some of the mystery to date night, partly simply because I'm usually talking about the completed projects rather than half formed projects. Shit I Need To Own: My weig…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/16 05:17 PM
4

There's just this hope: They don't have to like each other to give him some peace. All he should be asking is that they shut their mouths around each other any time they cannot say anything nice. Which is a basic courtesy I demand from everyone who wants to spend any time with me - seems pretty reasonable.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/16 12:08 AM
2

look at your work with pride for a moment, and then move on to the next thing stoically. This is going to be my mantra for the next week. Great insight. I've been working on instilling this value into my team at work, but didn't quite know how to phrase it. Edit: Thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 03:09 AM
1

Reading it now. Thanks!
/r/MarriedRedPill15/04/16 03:26 AM
1

Good self reflection. Be patient, stay on target. and keep owning your shit. You've got this.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/16 03:46 AM
0

Absolutely. But it is an aspect of quality. It exists. And it matters. We don't get to demote things from morally relevant to amoral without a carefully considered chain of reasoning. We have a (still subjective) moral obligation to do better than that, nectar we are men of consequence. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/16 03:31 AM
1

I track my goals and label each with a vision statement before I close them. Eventually, the quick "vision" notes I wrote down start repeating. Those "vision" notes are my values, or my desires. Reviewing them periodically helps me stay centered, particularly at moments when I need to discard a worthless goal.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/16 03:11 AM
1

I hit that realization earlier this year. I have been doing something lucrative for a profession for 16 years, and I do not have six months of expenses in savings. This fact makes me a fuck up and a fuck wit. It will be fixed before the end of the year.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/16 03:02 AM
1

Keep at it. She'll eventually follow your lead on the housekeeping, or you'll eventually trade up. In the meantime, she's watching and learning your expectations even when she's not cleaning.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/16 02:59 AM
2

If you drink caffeine, You may want to try going cold turkey off of all caffeine for a couple weeks. I developed hyper sensitivity to the wakefulness aspect of caffeine right after my first kid was born. Cutting out caffeine after noon worked for me when nothing else would.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/16 02:56 AM
1

FYI, if you're closer to the fan and she's putting out, you may turn the fan on/off at her request with my blessing. :) The important thing is that you're aware that: As an independent person, you aren't obligated to turn off the fan, even when she asks nice and you are closer. Turning the fan on/off is not getting you laid. Anyway, don't kick yourself too hard for this one.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/16 02:53 AM
1

You've inspired me. I'm adding "quit being a pussy (in my lift regiment)" to my own goal list. Right after I finish hitting my target body fat level. It's been taking around as an unformed goal in my head, and your wording made it snap onto focus.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/16 02:48 AM
1

I'm glad you're thinking it through. Keep in mind that managing people is a shitty job. Make sure they compensate you if you go that route.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/16 02:46 AM
1

I've got to tell you, you didn't mention one thing about leadership fitness that a person fit to lead would have mentioned. It may be this other person was way more qualified, but you don't have the leadership chops or organizational awareness to see it. If you want that next leadership opportunity, take a hard look in the mirror, read some Stephen Covey or Dale Carnegie books, and then examine your current levels of commitment, awareness, and ownership at your organization.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/16 02:45 AM
1

This is exactly like my post, except thoughtful, meditative, aesthetic and much better use of the moment! :) But seriously, I read this post four times and repeated it to myself as a commitment to myself as well. Thanks for this.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/16 02:41 AM
2

Shit I Need To Own I brought stress from work home with me last week. Felt physically tense and stayed up later than my ordered bed time. This is bull shit for someone with my skills in my field. To quote Men in Black "There's always an archilean battlecruiser about to destroy the planet!" My first steps to mediate are: No caffeine after lunch. I don't need my drug of vice working against my goals. Become disciplined in practicing basic meditation. If my mind goes where it doesn't need to be (wo…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/16 02:38 AM
1

Honestly, if you wake up as a fit toned good looking mother fucker in two years, you're not going to look in the mirror and say "what Have I done?!" You're going to look in the mirror and say "Damn, son. Time to start the next goal. What else do I want from life?" :) Keep it up!
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/16 02:26 AM
-1

You're right that investing in single stocks won't beat the market, on average. Great point. That said, I took this post as being more about realizing that there's more to life than maximizing money returns - there is maximizing your effectiveness toward outcomes you care about. So if ethical investing matters to you, it's worth being aware that mutual funds are amoral.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/16 02:21 AM
1

Child rearing! :) Edit: Also the health benefits/risks of eating eggs for some reason. WTF is up with that? Is there some kind of food lobby research war going on?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/16 02:18 AM
1

investing is amoral. Um. No. I'll give you that the consequences of unethical or unresearched investment are distant, and maybe hard enough to measure that we shouldn't lose sleep over them. But that's not the same as asserting that the consequences do not exist. Unintended externalities are a proven fact of life. They are also incredibly hard to correlate and prevent. But we don't get a pass, or get to pretend they don't exist. If we knew enough to control the side effects of our investing choi…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/16 02:17 AM
1

Good stuff. :) I try to stay in a steady state of amused, but also sick of my own shit. It keeps me cool headed, but also making forward progress.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 04:51 AM
1

It's okay to talk about your vision for the future to your wife, if you sense she needs comfort, and your sex is healthy. (Personally, very few people who aren't fucking me get to hear my vision for my future.) Don't get all excited and chatty, but a few polite words can dial the dread meter down gently, if you feel it's running too high.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 04:45 AM
2

How do I hold her accountable? Are you attractive and interesting? Is your vision the future so compelling that she doesn't like disappointing you? Why not? Think about the answers to these things long enough to get uncomfortable. Long enough to find something you don't like about the guy you see in the mirror. Now stop. Change that one thing. Change it permanently. Take as long as you need. Days or years. Done? Now look in the mirror and pat yourself on the back. Now slow down and look hard aga…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 04:37 AM
2

I spent some time in deadbedrooms looking for advice. Found nothing useful. I ran across TRP after extending my search. Great advice, but I got tired of hearing "next her" when it also means "next your house, kids and financial future", as a married man. Someone who felt the same in TRP posted about starting MRP, and I joined up gladly. I'm technically one of the early MRP mods, only because happened to be available and willing when something good started. Of course I gladly keep doing what I ca…
/r/askMRP06/04/16 06:15 PM
1

Great lists. I'm adding Alice In Wonderland to the up next list.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/16 03:27 AM
2

At what's ages did you read "Something Wicked This Way Comes" to your kids? I'm figuring my oldest is too young, but I'm really looking forward to sharing the trilogy with them.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/16 03:25 AM
4

Some great books to read out loud to a range of kids ages: "Little House on the Prairie" Exotic, rugged, alternately scary and delightful. Many volumes. "The Martian" Little House on the Prairie on Mars. "Hank the Cow Dog" Hilarious. Quick. Many volumes. Humor plays to lots of different ages. "Tom Sawyer" Plays to many levels of humor. Lots of little life lessons embedded.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/16 03:23 AM
4

Work backwards from mind blowing sex. Read sex god method twice. Put it into action. Obviously be lifting weights and losing weight, too. Then be whatever the fuck kind of romantic you want, because she likes you for the mind blowing sex. :D That's what worked for me, personally.
/r/askMRP27/03/16 05:09 AM
2

Very happily married. Helped start this place after getting told Next! at TRP. I didn't need to next my wife, I needed to man up. I did, and we are quite happy. :)
/r/askMRP27/03/16 04:22 AM
3

Great stuff. Thanks for the update, sir.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/16 04:21 AM
3

I tend to agree with you on this, except that, depending on the field, suing may sacrifice too many important connections to otherwise neutral professionals. I'm inclined to think that most people worth suing are also going to be well known as assholes by other professionals... but it's possible ReadDread is on one of those situations where it doesn't work out to be worth it.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/16 04:20 AM
3

But guess what, my measure of success wasn't being married, it was being happy. I've achieved that now AND I also happen to be married (still). But I also know I could be happy not being married. That sums it up perfectly.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/16 12:00 AM
2

Well put. I would rather that people who I don't need think of me as a wimp or a chump. Makes it easier for me to out hustle them. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/16 11:59 PM
1

Most of these quotes seem to be from a perspective of someone who doesn't know shit about our community. A couple of them are valid and I'll own up: I wouldn't be here if I had been alpha-as-fuck all along. I've got extra beta in me due to being in the institution of marriage. In conclusion: Six on five hockey with an empty net is really entertaining, and the NHL should adjust the rules to make it more common. Maybe double points for the team playing empty net... wait, what were we taking about?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/16 11:55 PM
2

Early on, Alpha is following your own frame, and Beta is making concessions to hers. A primary reason people leave their own frame is when it is under-developed. If I genuinely don't have a perspective on something, I default to my wife's perspective, or my mother's or my father's. In order to spend more time in my own frame, I have to work on it, understand it, develop it. As my frame has developed, my worthwhile beta behaviors have gained an alpha foundation, and my worthless ones have reduced…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/16 02:55 PM
1

To answer your question: Lots of guys find RP and just discover NMMNG, and then end their marriage by being an asshole. While we have philosophies in place that could prevent that (i.e. try it for a year), since we're still a branch of RP philosophy, we get some credit for the bad outcomes. To address the list of what women could love about MRP: Absolutely. It's magical. It's particularly great when applied to high value women. But just like magic and Hollywood, it's more fun for her if she does…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/16 02:41 PM
4

left me stranded...should I marry her? Let me repeat that back to you: You are considering binding your life and fortune to someone who once intentionally fucked you over. You lack self respect. You should not get married. You should not keep dating her. You should not be in any relationship, until your self worth is up to where you will not allow yourself to be walked on.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/16 02:21 PM
2

I had to reread it a couple times to catch the change. Very on point!
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/16 04:43 AM
2

You love her like you (should) love chocolate. Chocolate is a heavenly experience that you ought to be making time for daily, or at least several times per week. But it's not like you can't go a week, a year, or the rest of your life without it, if you found out you were allergic to it.
/r/askMRP07/03/16 05:02 AM
2

Bingo. Agree and amplify still applies. Wife: Wow sexy Hugh Jackman butt. Me: Yeah. Good looking, but doesn't feel as nice as you would think. I might be taking agree and amplify too far, but the look on her face is priceless. :)
/r/askMRP04/03/16 04:34 AM
8

Some stuff that plays well at work: An early "no" makes everyone better off. All manner of crisis can be averted just by having a difficult "no" conversation on a timely manner. Early "no"s stack, and add up to more energy and resources remaining to keep your most important commitments. Broken record is amazing for just about everything. You can be the polite git who always seems to come through, because everyone evacuator aligns with our gets out of the way of his vision. Outcome independence g…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/16 05:07 AM
2

Humble Brag Incoming - but I think it's useful for calibration, so here it is. Wife and I have a monthly budget which we stick to. We've had one for most of the marriage. We review and adapt it monthly together, but it rarely changes by much, even though I increase our income every couple years. We just drastically cut our expenses down so that our six month emergency fund will be finished within the year. This is a goal I had, but my wife is the one who figured out how to do it. My humble part …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/16 06:19 AM
1

Basically didn't get my proteins. I ate a lot of low nutrition crap instead of foods that contribute to my goals.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/16 05:59 AM
3

You shouldn't have to move the money to trust your wife not to spend it. This is marriage 101 stuff. If I really had that risk, I would start openly (no fucking secrets) separating my finances. Don't touch the existing accounts, just stop adding to them. Setup new billpay for all expenses out of the new separate account, etc. The goal is, and should always be, to reintegrate your finances when you two can trust each other and share a budget. If you're not married financially, you're not going to…
/r/askMRP27/02/16 02:57 PM
2

Good catch! In case OP is reading along, a better way to say it is: "That money is for you and I spend on vacation together. No. Your girlfriend isn't welcome to join us." Makes the same point, but communicates boundaries and expectations clearly and doesn't whine.
/r/askMRP27/02/16 02:53 PM
1

secret online savings That's bullshit. Man up and tell her what you're doing with money and why you're doing it.
/r/askMRP27/02/16 02:48 PM
22

Congrats man. There's some stuff to weather, but this mostly sounds like resounding success. Since she's generally up for anything, I would be liberal with comfort. You and she both knows she's going to have to get fit to stay with you long term. She may be experiencing unnecessary extra dread due to not knowing how long you'll give her to figure it out. You can alleviate this with extra comfort, and just gently dial the comfort back if you apply so much that it hurts your relationship. The reli…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/16 01:04 PM
5

P.S. - You're going to die. Tick, tock. I have never been tempted to print a motivational quote and stick it to my mirror, until reading this. Awesome.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/16 05:05 AM
2

kicking the can down ťhe road Yep. If it's really all about the man, and field reports here suggest it really is, then a man may as well shape up with the woman he has. If nothing else, even if it's going to end anyways, why not establish frame , shape up and end it bittersweet and classy.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/16 05:03 AM
3

Owning Finances Own my can outright, as of yesterday. Only remaining debt is the house. Work Still delivering. Working on a conference presentation for April. Was invited to be an editor on a technical video series last week. Good stuff. Not Owning Lifting This was a bad week for my diet, and I think it translated to much less gains than I should have had. I need to eat clean and consistent. Frame A tough weekend of travel left us all exhausted yesterday. I've held my own frame, but wasn't able …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/16 02:01 AM
1

Regarding finances and the capable wife: I had the same dilemma - my wife rocks at budgeting. Even so, I decided to get more involved and start setting some long term goals, and it had really paid off. She responded by overhauling our budget - and found ways to achieve our goals much earlier than I had thought possible. Lots of good can come from leading a capable woman. You have a prosperous week too.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/16 01:55 AM
2

Regarding spending time with wife vs exercise: I suspect there are a surprising number of forms of exercise that are compatible with getting a blow job... :)
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/16 01:51 AM
3

Good stuff man, keep at it. Regarding Mommy's parenting style - solid plan. I just went through the same thing. It helped me to realize that my wife's parenting style was going to naturally follow mine, and that mine had not been a solid frame previously.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/16 01:49 AM
1

My hobby projects tend to be custom computer hardware and software. My friends and colleagues habitually check in with me on what my latest mad science project is. Usually my projects achieve some notoriety - due to their typical combination of novelty and silliness - and once in awhile by being genuinely useful. So the surprise in my friends and colleagues was just that I didn't have anything "in progress". Probably made them worried. Luckily, I'm back to being in the thick of things, project w…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/16 01:45 AM
1

Almost 90% of what we preach here would work for anyone, in any relationship. Are you a petite, feminine wife or husband whose lover takes you for granted? Shut up and work out to become physically attractive. Do interesting things with your time. Dress well. Get busy. Set boundaries. Voice your expectations. Be interesting. Be attractive. If they don't respond, at least you're ready to easily find someone else. That last 8%? Nah. Probably doesn't apply. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/16 06:17 AM
2

Yeah. Made a huge difference when I just started tying the kids into their beds at 8:30. Just kidding. Thought about it plenty of times... But seriously, I hope OP sees through the humor and catches the valid point that he needs to take control of bed time and have the kids in bed with time to spare. Captain is in charge of logistics, after all.
/r/askMRP21/02/16 06:05 AM
7

There's a button for that to the left of the post. Turns orange when you push it. ;)
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/16 01:36 PM
2

Shit I'm Owning Health I've been losing weight for the last two years, about one lb per month, consistently. This month I switched and am intentionally eating at non-deficit calories to gain muscle. My cheapo scale BMI calculator days I've added 3 lbs muscle of 4 lbs total. I am pleased with my progress on the mirror and in my daily workout capability. I am still overweight. When the weather here turns warm, I'm going back to a calorie deficit, with a goal of getting my body fat % below 20 befor…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/16 03:23 AM
2

I'm taking 'done here' as regarding the current marriage. If so, that's fine, but read Sex God Method either way. MRP isn't so much about saving your marriage as simply swallowing the pill after being married. Sometimes swallowing the pill saves the marriage, sometimes it just makes you ready for whatever comes next. Becoming okay with both possible outcomes is part of the journey, I think. So that feeling of 'I could be done here' doesn't necessarily reflect purely on your marriage. It certainl…
/r/askMRP17/02/16 02:22 AM
2

Nice work. In that case, it's time to read sex god method.
/r/askMRP17/02/16 02:08 AM
1

Bro, do you even lift? ;) Great start with the weight loss. Remember it took time to dig into this hole, and it takes time to dig out. You probably still have oneitis bad, which is unattractive. And you haven't mentioned what you're passionate about. Be attractive: in progress. Be interesting. - ? Be ripped. - Time to get started.
/r/askMRP17/02/16 01:48 AM
3

The trouble here is that we don't know what your Mom's actions look like. If your dad is quiet and your mom does all the talking, you don't really have any real insight into their dynamic. For all you know, she's doing amazing things to him every night and her shit talk during the day is just foreplay. It's unlikely, but possible. The fact that your dad openly called divorce a bluff, rather than apologizing suggests his frame is somewhat intact. Don't proceed with the assumption that you know ev…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/16 04:00 PM
5

Much like "If a wizard had grown tired of checking his food for poison, and his bed for traps, he has grown tired of life itself. "
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/16 03:51 PM
1

We share overlapping models, but not long term goals. Insightful. Something to give more thought to, perhaps. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/16 04:40 AM
1

Funny, when I first read it, I though /u/MRPGuy was describing our tendency to follow these traits of loyalty and vigilance, even when they fail us. In any case, thanks for pulling that point out for further discussion. It's important for us to stay aware of our blind spots - especially the ones we're someone proud of.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/16 12:45 PM
1

And it's not just effective, it's fun for the wife. It's the kind of dread that she can brag to her girlfriends about.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/16 12:34 PM
2

I hear you on the coward thing. I thought I was brave, but owning my shit to this group's standards had made a huge difference in my confidence.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/16 03:46 AM
1

I had no idea AliExpress sells shirts. I'll have to check that out. They're my main supplier of Arduino parts, and have treated me quite well.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/16 03:42 AM
1

I've had great luck with Slim cut Amamti shirts off of Amazon. They run about $23, and are actually cut for an athletic build. They're not perfect, but a good starting point. Maybe I'll take one to a tailor and report back.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/16 03:40 AM
1

Your frame sucks. Change it. When it comes to kid care, forget you have a wife. You don't trust her alone with the kid. That was your choice, according to your values. Own it and man up. Your new mantra is "What would a single dad do in this situation?" If nothing else, it is practice for the possible divorce that hovers over all of us. This comes back to point one: Man up and dad well. Get equipped. As /u/iloveairplane said, get baby gates, build a business relationship with a sitter. Get a hig…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/16 01:30 PM
1

Will do. Thanks!
/r/MarriedRedPill03/02/16 01:31 PM
1

I dropped 30 lbs in two years by skipping meals when I was not hungry. It's a direct application of WISNIFG, because weird social situations come up, but I still don't eat if I'm not hungry. I also had a rule that I don't eat dessert unless that dessert is as good as I can imagine it. This led me to learn how to make some desserts myself. Progress I hit my target weight recently, and am working on gaining lean body mass (LBM). I'm doing this with home equiptment, and working slowly due to old ho…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/16 01:03 PM
1

Regarding the scratchy beard: tiny amounts of a $1 trial sized hand lotion applied daily to my beard took it from incredibly scratchy to not scratchy at all.
/r/askMRP30/01/16 08:00 PM
4

SMV alone doesn't cause dread. Self respect causes dread. We talk about SMV because self respect without it is unfounded. Must guys come in here saying "I look like a sack of shit, but I respect myself. Why doesn't she respect me?" Your situation is more like "I look amazing but don't have any of my own ambitions or interests, why isn't she interested in me?" If you're being honest with yourself all you really need to do next is go out and be interesting. And remember it took time to lose all th…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/16 02:25 PM
5

I would just make better, more mutually enjoyable plans in advance. Take the helm, steer the relationship to somewhere you both enjoy being.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/16 05:46 AM
1

Social I have a solid group of friends that I met with on a regular schedule. I'm working this 60 days on spending additional intentional 1:1 time with the very few people I highly value.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/16 05:20 AM
1

Career Did a big move last year to challenge myself and make more money. Mastered the skills I got here to learn. Need to stay hungry and patient for next opportunity, while being honest with myself even if staying put is the best move.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/16 05:16 AM
1

Finances Wife and I are updating the budget to complete the year with the car paid off and a six month emergency fund in place. It'll be interesting, but if we even stick to it for a few months we'll have no car payment.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/16 05:14 AM
1

Game I don't know shit about have. Fished SGM recently. Need to find something to read next.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/16 05:11 AM
28

You seem to be under the impression that I went into this marriage thing with the slightest clue what I was getting myself into...
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/16 05:07 AM
2

I think you're just rebelling at bad fashion advice you have received. Steve Jobs wore the same thing every time he appeared on public, and looked fantastic doing it. If that's you, go for it! Here's the fashion rules you should not reject: Everything you wear should fit your body. This trick like 80% of how people in Hollywood films look so good. Anywhere you've got hair, trim it once in awhile. Don't have to get rid of it, just trim it. You'll be surprised at the difference it makes in your ov…
/r/askMRP26/01/16 02:46 AM
3

Last time I was in /r/malefashionadvice it was full of idiot teenagers. OPs mileage may vary. :)
/r/askMRP26/01/16 02:34 AM
1

Style: My dinner wardrobe is a delight. I managed to slowly cycle my entire summer wardrobe to match my new slimmer body. Winter is thankfully short here, and had been busy; but I intended to own some very well fit V neck sweaters before the end of this challenge.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/16 03:48 AM
1

Hygiene: It's good, but I need to make a daily habit of moisturizing my heard to ensure it's soft to the touch. Cheap hand moisturizer works fine for me as long as I remember to apply it. I should really add some cologne to my routine, but finding the right one is not a high priority right now.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/16 03:46 AM
1

Diet: My diet is under control and I just reached my target weight. When Spring arrives, I'll evaluate whether I need to adjust my 'bulk' diet to a 'clean bulk', or a 'cut'.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/16 03:43 AM
1

Fitness: In 30 days I will evaluate if I'm satisfied with the muscle I put on with my current lifting program. If not, I'll adjust. Same at the 60 day mark. The goal is to bulk very slowly with very low risk activities.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/16 03:41 AM
6

Have you given any thought to being open about this with her? Seems like she's got a thrill seeking side. Maybe she's up for finding an attractive friend to join the two of you for a night. Seems like you have leverage in the relationship, but are taking it in a butthurt direction without exploring some possibly awesome ones. Please don't take this as judgment. I get that you're rightly feed up with the way things are. I just wonder if there aren't sone unorthodox things she might be willing to …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/16 03:37 AM
1

You're asking about Red Pill, but I'm going to answer about manliness, which is maybe subtly different. Manly men influence those around them without being resented. As high value interesting men, they learn that they can express how they desire others to interact with them, and people will comply. Note that this doesn't extend to how people act when not around them - other than obvious stuff like keeping their word.
/r/askMRP22/01/16 04:18 AM
3

Exactly. Then punch the top of the water and witness your ability to make ripples well outside yourself. Then, wait and watch and be humbled at your legacy as the water stills and there isn't a trace that you ever touched it.
/r/askMRP22/01/16 04:06 AM
4

Your sentence is missing the words "...to her." Quit founding your value as a person on her perception of you, and see how much better you feel. You should care how you interact with others, but the measuring stick needs to be yours, internalized, not theirs. Your system of measure should also align generally to those of society - being free man doesn't have to mean becoming a narcissist. You clicked with her because she reflected back to you your worth on your own scale. That was good. But even…
/r/askMRP22/01/16 04:03 AM
5

I have two. They're pretty great, for disease magnets with no sense, common or otherwise. Why did I choose to have kids? I feel that non-shitheads who are capable of parenting have a moral obligation to propegate, to keep the shitheads in check across the balance of history. Re: Evolution and hormones. I don't know that hormones have anything to do with wanting kids. I chalk that up to ordinary lack of judgment - "How hard could it really be?" The hormones are definitely in play as far as having…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/16 04:46 AM
1

Exactly.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/16 09:38 PM
1

Continued Marriage (if you're already in one) is insulation from losing half your stuff and access to your kids. Among the many things integrity is useful for, it can (combined with other blue pill virtues) temporarily postpone a divorce. This isn't an immediate concern for you and I, but it's a very immediate concern to the men who just found this place and are figuring things out. Integrity also buys all sorts of other things that alpha doesn't buy: Most notably, people jump when a man of know…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/16 09:36 PM
2

Agreed. But integrity is a currency in the 'not divorce raped* market. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/16 09:12 PM
2

To answer your question, the relationship is this: For newly unplugging guys, their integrity, not their alpha, is the thread their marriage hangs by. There are plenty of ways to up their alpha without sacrificing integrity. Your plan isn't necessarily risky to your marriage, because of your foundation. But there's plenty of guys reading along here who wouldn't benefit from it, thus my 2 cents. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/16 09:09 PM
2

Yeah. Depending on the relationship, this kind of teasing may be within expected boundaries, and not a sacrifice of integrity at all. But for many relationships (including my own), it would be a loss of integrity. So for all the unplugging folks reading along, please proceed with caution.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/16 09:04 PM
2

I'm not confused, and no disagreement about the proposes of both integrity and alpha. The problem is that your plan trades significant integrity for minimal alpha. A noob adopting your plan would nuke his marriage.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/16 09:00 PM
2

The gloves are no big deal. :) But in many relationships the perceived integrity of the man would be damaged by this move. Integrity is one of a man's most valuable currencies. /u/theultimatecad's plan sold be shit for most people because the pay off is way too low to balance against the risk to his wife's perception of his integrity.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/16 03:57 PM
3

Personally, that would be way over the line, for me. Whining about the gloves is outside your team values, and she should stop. Keeping careful track of the gloves is in line with your team values and she should continue. Your plan undermines not only her bad behavior but also her good behavior. Keeping track of the gloves is inconsequential to you, but it's probably only inconsequential to you because it suports a task only she really needs to concern herself with, i.e. her skin care. Undermine…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/16 03:52 PM
1

We're not the first people to realize that a strong frame forgives a lot of other shortcomings. :) Eastern fighting styles have the principle of "standing under heaven" - the idea that the man who completely believes in his imminent victory has a tiny but real edge over the man who does not. More often than not, the sacred texts will encourage a man to hold his frame. That's easy to reconcile. The more difficult question, which the scriptures are meant to address, is which exact frame a man shou…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/01/16 07:23 AM
1

intentions of the great prophets Whatever their intentions, what remains is their words. Men of integrity judge those words by the good or bad results those words result in. Personally, I'll condemn a scripture right next to another I make use of; because I'm responsible for the outcome of how I use ancient wisdom, I'm also accountable to make a judgment call. Every verse had better be good and worthwhile if it's going to be kept.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/01/16 07:15 AM
7

Frankly, any man who has ever seriously considered the thought "I should probably cut back on..." should just stop that thing altogether for six months, just to be sure he can. In your case, sounds like you're taking a break from alcohol. Regarding the twins thing, my only comment is: nice!
/r/askMRP13/01/16 12:48 AM
1

FYI, sharing that plan with your wife seems unwise. If she declared her intent to break her habit of relying on your for a place to live, you would probably conclude she was working up the nerve to divorce you. You would also probably be correct.
/r/askMRP13/01/16 12:43 AM
1

Haha. Fair enough!
/r/askMRP12/01/16 06:26 PM
3

The M in MRP is for "Married". You might get more replies to this particular question at TRP. I personally never got back together with an ex, and am now married (have been for quite awhile). So I got nothing to say on the topic, other than good luck - trust your gut.
/r/askMRP11/01/16 04:31 AM
2

Paying someone to have sex with you does not increase your sexual market value. Your SMV is how much your wife perceives that other women want to fuck you. For women you had to pay money to, that's probably none at all. Prostitutes are employees, not competitors.
/r/askMRP10/01/16 04:49 PM
2

Cool. Give me a shout if I can assist in any way.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/16 01:36 PM
3

As a fellow former "I don't need to lift because I bike", I say amen, sir. (But I do get to skip leg day sometimes because I bike...)
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/16 04:35 AM
2

Pick a subject that's most important to you. This is terrific advice. One thing most people don't do often enough is completely stop when something upsetting happens, and just let it sink it. We want to get through and away from what upsets us, so we don't stop to face it. If OP can take just one thing and change it, the ball will be rolling.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/16 04:33 AM
2

Shit I am Owning: I am pretty badass at work. Many things in my current job are just repeating habits from my previous job, so I have spare time at work. I am investing that spare time into becoming even more professionally badass. Sure, my colleagues are impressed, but even more important - I'm also really enjoying myself. Home repair - shit keeps breaking, I keep fixing it. My fixes are significantly higher quality than the original work. I'm not enjoying this particularly, but it's better tha…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/16 04:23 AM
1

If it's 9AM, I'm learning how to program in Ruby because it's 9AM and that's what I do at that time. If it's 3PM I'm working on refining my company's marketing campaigns, because it's 3PM. If it's 5PM I'm working on business strategy. And so forth. I'm not leaving any room for "I don't feel like it." Awesome. I get so much done when I do that. I have a few areas I am not using it since switching to my new job. Going to up my game. Thanks for the reminder.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/16 04:12 AM
1

This project is starting to sound bigger than planned The rabbit hole runs very deep indeed...but it's worth it. :) You're right about it being worthwhile to just dive in and have a server out there on the real net. I sent you a direct message pimping my favorite cheap web host for getting a public server. I paid $12 for a one year subscription for my first one, so bring a bag lunch instead of going out one time and use the money you saved to just do it. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/16 04:08 AM
2

There are some great websites for finding local hobby meet ups. There are a lot of them around hobby programming, hobby electronics, hobby radio and, for some reason, knitting. I'll leave the similarity between these hobbies as an exercise for the reader...
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/16 03:40 AM
1

That's a really good point. Many skills of CEOs are also common enough among losers. (And some CEOs are losers by other measurements.) There's probably more to consider there. I'll have to give that more thought. Successfully leading other men would seem to obviously increase SMV, but beta bux being so common indicates it's not enough on its own to get a man fucked regularly by the woman he desires. I suppose money, strength and a sharp wit have the same limitations - not going to d newly as muc…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/01/16 01:02 PM
1

Valid point. I'll need to reconsider my whole thought train.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/01/16 12:52 PM
1

A string of ailments could certainly be affected by her stress levels. And her stress being high can be a sign that your dread level is out of sync with your commnication. Dread is most stressful if she doesn't know what you want. Increasing your communication around your expectations may help some. Pick something trivial that she does that pleases you, and be intentional in giving positive feedback about it for a few weeks.
/r/askMRP07/01/16 04:58 AM
6

Basically, just take it extra slow because she's fragile. The advice for when the wife is pregnant is solid for other times, but not as necessary. If, in theory, you knew what you were doing - providing the perfect mix of excitement and comfort, then the advice would be identical regardless. Since none of us is perfect, those with pregnant wives are advised to err far on the side of caution and comfort. The pregnancy and newbornness are very temporary parts of a marriage that can be a long term …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/15 03:37 AM
6

When you were wooing her the first time around, did you worry who she got texts from? She can only get pulled into your wake if you're going somewhere. You don't have a wake when you're hovering over her shoulder. Don't get me wrong, the warnings on this thread are all valid. But if you want her, you need to not need her. Do pursue her. Don't try to own her. Don't be desperate for her. Sometimes be busy. Usually be interesting. Always be attractive. If it doesn't attract her, it'll attract someo…
/r/askMRP18/12/15 04:46 AM
7

The world is full of adults who didn't have childhoods. They're usually either epic successes or epic fuck ups. The fuck ups are the ones who try to portend to be kids again to capture something they never had. The successes are the ones who take what they didn't have and build on the strength it have them. Sure, a man should have some fun. But no man needs to revert and be a child. If he needed it, he wouldn't be a man at all.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/15 12:38 AM
3

This rule also extends to the other men in your life. Your boss, your father in law, your boss' boss. Like most RP rules, if it applies to most women, it'll apply with a lot of men.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/15 12:27 AM
2

Such important words buried in a longer post, so I want to reiterate: Don't blow your life to hell during the anger phase. The issues you describe here might be easily solved by future you, or easily walked away from by future you. Best to take your time to find out which it is.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/15 06:28 AM
3

We vent to people we trust completely, who we don't worry about impressing anymore because we're not nervous about whether they'll be attracted enough to us to fuck us. It's still the friend zone, whether before or after marriage, and you don't want to be there with someone you want to fuck. Being comfortable having a conversation that you're not enjoying means there's no vibrancy or tension on the relationship. When her sister dies, you listen like an oak. When the checkout boy is an ass, unles…
/r/askMRP27/11/15 01:47 PM
3

This community tops of the list of things I'm thankful for this year. Thank you gentlemen.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/15 06:11 PM
2

Stuff I'm owning: My frame has become an irresistable force. Since we're going into the holidays, I am "mandating" a lot of mirth, cuddles (oldest kid is about to outgrow them) and pre-Christmas excitement. Intentionally and relentlessly setting the tone for the family's evening is a blast. Shit I need to own: My game is still shit, and I even miss a lot of hints from my wife when she wants to fuck. I need to read up on game, in general.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/11/15 04:20 AM
1

Waiting it out was all I could do about the anger phase. After that, reading, then re-reading Sex God Method, like I was studying for a test.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/11/15 04:14 AM
1

You're going through pretty normal unplugging. Remember that you're not fighting for territory - you're levering your family up a mountain. Since you have your wife's attention and interest, it's okay to take it slow, and smile a lot. You can focus on adding alpha, without intentionally losing beta (yet). Read. Lift. Be playful. Be outcome independent. Be the family oak. Choose a positive constructive frame each day, and drag your whole family laughing into it. Learn Dominance, Emotion, Variety …
/r/askMRP24/11/15 04:04 AM
1

You bring in 150k and you need her 100k? Bullshit. Even if you were earning 28k, you don't need her 100k. That's called being Dad. If your wife left or died, you would sure as fuck find a way to feed and shelter your kids, on your salary alone. Your title is Dad, so you can, and would, do it.
/r/askMRP24/11/15 03:53 AM
1

You get it. This might be the most important take away.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/15 12:14 AM
2

"The pool boy still gets laid." Such perfect clarity in that sentence. Really puts that trope in perspective. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/15 12:09 AM
1

Your responders only know as much as you share. You need to own that, not complain about it.
/r/askMRP23/11/15 12:20 AM
1

You should care because it's fun when wife wifes well? I don't need great sex or great chocolate to survive, but I enjoy both greatly. :)
/r/askMRP23/11/15 12:18 AM
1

Great summary of the situation and next steps. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/15 02:40 PM
15

You pried into her search history and confronted her about the possibility she may have at some point been attracted to another man? Try to understand how beta both if these actions come across to the women in your life. Of course she's attracted to other men. Lots of people are. Get over it. What should you do? You should decide if your daily interactions with her merit staying married. If not, lawyer up. If so, be attractive. Be interesting. Be a great fuck. Forget about chad. So will she.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/15 02:57 AM
1

Dammit android autocorrect!
/r/askMRP21/11/15 10:23 PM
1

Serial Market Value is great, whether you're in a long term relationship or not. If the wife is not wifing, increased SMV makes it easier for her to feel motivated to start. If the wife is being great at wifing, then young your SMV rewards her. And regardless of what wife does or thinks, having high SMV helps you step through life with confidence.
/r/askMRP21/11/15 10:23 PM
5

I'll submit a separate FR is she does, though. ;)
/r/MarriedRedPill21/11/15 07:06 PM
5

"I put in the work. I'm not giving you guys credit." That's right. "But I'm just thankful that there's a place I could come to and see the work can actually be done." You're welcome! :) "I feel like God's calling me towards eventually helping other men find their masculinity on a full time basis." Just remember to take it at it's own pace, and own it if you're going to do it. God may help us see where the needs around us are, but choosing and pursuing a calling are still entirely in the realm of…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/11/15 03:56 PM
1

With my river analogy, you're basically asking how far away the next waterfall or riptide is, and I'm telling you, you can't know. Those events are less common than you imagine when you're deep in the water, but you really can't know when they're coming or not. Instead, you focus on being prepared for whatever comes. General preparedness, good for all situations: Be more attractive. Lift weights. Be more interesting. Have your own life. Live it well. Don't be angry at the river. Don't be angry a…
/r/askMRP21/11/15 02:02 PM
2

The Married Red Pill isn't about keeping your wife from leaving or cheating on you - it's about becoming a high value male and getting great sex, often from the wife you already have, but not necessarily. Accepting that she is going to do things you don't anticipate is part of swallowing the bitter red pill. Your wife is a unique individual under the influence if hundreds of years of societal culture and millions of years of genetic imperative. Those forces are like a reading ticket river. When …
/r/askMRP21/11/15 01:53 PM
1

Thanks for this! Here's what I left out of the other thread: I've had success in showing my wife I'm not hugely concerned about offending her or staying on her good graces - not apologizing when I accidentally stick my foot in my mouth. That said, underneath my impeccably polite and consistently charming exterior, I'm genuinely a huge asshole. My wife is one of the few people who know me well enough to have some idea of the truth of this; and so I steer well clear of intentional negativity of an…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/15 12:36 AM
2

Interesting point. I also suffer from being too good at deadpan. This may relate to my own not using negs.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/15 12:31 AM
0

Awesome. I was thinking of making a post calling for field reports.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/15 12:08 AM
7

I don't recall any discussion about negging here in MRP so far. I personally haven't applied negging my wife, and don't have any plan to. So that puts your situation outside of anything I can advise on. I have a few thoughts on why negging hasn't really come up here, but that's a conversation for another day. In the meantime, seems like an area where a field report or two could do some good, but, as ever, tread carefully at your own pace, and when in doubt, shut up and lift.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/15 05:11 AM
5

Shit I've owned this week: I fixed all the broken things in my home without complaining. Because I've got a solid emergency fund, I just bought the tools I needed, and fixed the things with my own hands. I am not sure if it affected attraction from the wife or not. It correlated with the most passionate sex we've had in weeks, but that could also be the other shit I'm owning: I'm finally internalizing Sex God Method. This took me a longer time to take seriously, then the other reading, for some …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/15 12:36 PM
1

A lot of good answers here. One more important point no one seems to have mentioned: RP just isn't that interesting to talk about for the wife. If you've not mastered it, it looks like you're all talk. Contrarily, if you have mastered it, then like a magician explaining tricks, taking about it just makes you lose some of your mystery. She will enjoy it more if you don't ever explain it.
/r/askMRP17/11/15 05:54 AM
7

You're going to be there for them for the next four or five decades right? If so, acta non verba, and they'll catch on.
/r/askMRP17/11/15 05:43 AM
1

Good insight! There's a lot of good stuff in this thread, but I thin that may be the most important.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/15 11:21 PM
1

Both of Dale Carnegie's books are worthwhile. Avoid the "for the information age" updated version if you can. Fiddling with an aged masterpiece is dumb. It was still fine, though - the changes weren't too noticeable. Once you're back to fiction - Robert Heinlein's "Time Enough for Love", though fiction, has some wonderful thoughts on the nature of life, family and masculinity.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/15 06:13 AM
2

I've been looking for my next book. Thanks!
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/15 06:02 AM
1

"Pretend you love him more than your children" Perfect. I want that on a shirt, but wearing it probably wouldn't do my marriage any good. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/15 05:49 AM
1

"Your words currently mean shit." That's the explanation of why STFU works so well early that I've been missing in my mental map. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/15 05:37 AM
3

That's good. I know I post with a bit more confidence knowing /u/whinemoreplease will call me on my shit if I get out of line, or start buying my own shit. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/15 05:33 AM
3

That's why we advise STFU early on. It's hard to get wrong. :) I've found A&A with the wife really only works well after she's above a certain comfort threshold. Seems unecessarily risky below it, with so that's at stake. Normal single TRP wouldn't care, but doesn't have a kid, a house, or years of friendship with the spouse at stake. I didn't personally feel very good about providing extra comfort early in my transitio - felt dishonest. I think that shouldn't have mattered, but it did, to me. I…
/r/askMRP10/11/15 05:10 AM
0

Oh, and popping on the baby carrier is much better than any of the advice I gave. I wish I had thought to add it. Might have made me look like less of an asshole. :) Kudos.
/r/askMRP10/11/15 05:04 AM
0

I did exaggeratedly tickle the baby taboos to get a reaction. I think that weakened the value of my advice, and for that I apologize. (It did get a reaction though, and illustrates my core point pretty well: we carry a lot of "baby will die if I..." around with us.)
/r/askMRP10/11/15 05:01 AM
1

Seriously, never? Never set it down? How do we think single moms and dads take a shit, exactly? :) This is the test that matters: Can I do this parenting style indefinitely all by myself? If not, then I'm over committed and need to back down my perfect parent standards and figure out something that works. If you can do that without ever setting the kid down, more power to you, but please don't balance it on anything. ;)
/r/askMRP10/11/15 04:59 AM
0

I've got a four year old and a one year old. Both are incredibly healthy and well adjusted. Didn't practice baby put downs with the first, did with the second. Just speaking from experience - they still live, love and grow.
/r/askMRP10/11/15 04:53 AM
1

New baby is oak time, not dread time. :)
/r/askMRP10/11/15 04:50 AM
0

This is exactly the frame OP needs to get out of. Baby can be set down safely. Yes, take precautions. Bur no it's not made out of pet porcelain. :) And yes, breast milk is better, and yes, baby can learn to stop taking the better breast milk if you introduce formula. And yes, studies teach us that baby will be slightly less advantaged in school. Maybe baby will develop a work ethic. Point is, OPs wife needs OP to engage, take responsibility, and not let Mom do the Mom thing so hard that Mom lose…
/r/askMRP10/11/15 04:48 AM
1

Yes, absolutely. BP is a tool that won't get you laid, and it won't keep her at your side in the long run, but it's a perfectly valid tool for several purposes, as long as you understand it's limitations. :)
/r/askMRP10/11/15 04:44 AM
1

You need STFU worse than most. You're fascinated by her. You revolve around her. And you pester her. Of course she's not impressed. First step: start revolving asked around yourself. Don't change what you're doing right away, but figure out why you really do what you do. Next: You need to read Sex God Method. You've been having more sex than a lot of us did before we unplugged, but you're not making it effective. You're not bonding through it, so of course neither of you are thrilled with it. An…
/r/askMRP10/11/15 02:55 AM
0

This is a good time to practice "baby set downs". Take the baby. Tell baby mom to go take a nap. If for some reason she doesn't, hand the baby back. Meet all of baby's basic needs, whether you think baby needs them right now or not. Diaper, milk (baby's not going to die if you introduce formula to the mix), change of clothes, make sure baby clothes are the right temp, etc. Put the baby down somewhere safe. Do something very idle and not very intense nearby. If baby already has an entitlement com…
/r/askMRP07/11/15 04:00 PM
1

Personally, I think it's awesome behavior. Planning appropriate worthwhile stops for the ship is exceptional first mate behavior. You just need to step up your communication game. Do some deep introspection and figure out which of your core values are being ignored by these itineraries. If you learn it's "being a humbug", then stop being a humbug and learn to enjoy. More likely there's something you care about that these plans aren't leaving time for. Figure out what those are, and add them to t…
/r/askMRP04/11/15 12:50 AM
3

That's good. STFU up until your anger subsides. It will. You'll eventually realize that, like every other woman, if she was deeply attracted to you, she wouldn't care if all she is to you is sex. You control your own attractiveness, you control the outcome. And ignore what she says, she's been trained by society not to be a slut, so she may say stuff like that long after she no longer really minds enjoying sex.
/r/askMRP03/11/15 11:58 AM
1

Oh, and hopefully this was oblivious, but you need to be charming as hell to your mom. There's no one easier to impress, and it's something you should have men doing anyway out of gratitude for putting up with your childhood bullshit for years. :) Same rules apply as to the soon to be ex wife - the charm is on at all times, because it betters your chance to spend quality time with your daughter - which she needs.
/r/askMRP31/10/15 12:16 PM
2

Why do you need your wife to help you plan insurance? Did you yell at her, or did you tell her to please get the details you need immediately, because you are doing it now? Sounds like you blamed her for your inability to get it done, which reduces attraction. Getting it done after giving her specific marching orders would have increased attraction. Getting your boss to step up increased attraction, but past victories don't count, even if they're only minutes old. It sucks, but you'll get used t…
/r/askMRP31/10/15 11:25 AM
3

Absolutely. This is crucial. Wait out the anger phase, then proceed.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/15 01:00 AM
2

The issue is the frame. One for you one for me is her frame, and it typically ignores all the manly stuff, in order to divide up the feminine stuff that happens to be on her radar. Your frame is different: it's all stuff that needs done, and is your responsibilty. You're taking to your wife to set clear expectations about which things you trust her to get done. In this frame it doesn't matter that she's not aware of a lot of stuff you did - only matters that she's aware of what you expect her to…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/15 02:41 AM
2

Indeed. It's an important distinction. When we tell an unplugging man to STFU and lift, we're not holding STFU as a holy grail, but rather as a foxhole he can safely bolt into to avoid doing damage while he's lifting. :) There is a different STFU later, but it's after growing into a man who speaks comfortably and confidently when there's something worth saying.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/15 02:36 AM
1

Shit I'm Owning: . My body fat percent just keeps climbing down. It's painfully slow, but it's permanent change. At the same time, my pull ups are well into show off territory. . I am rocking my hobby projects. People are noticing. More importantly, I'm knocking little things off my bucket list and discovering new things to add. . I am keeping my frame. I'm even branching into hand crafted frame for special occasions - including "Dad is getting a nap" frame, "we're on vacation" frame, and "Daddy…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/15 04:26 AM
1

Do not think on that book before a dentist appointment though. Ugh. I was proud of myself and horrified at the same time - I was truly present in the moment with my mouth propped open and the drill grinding away at an insane pitch.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/15 04:17 AM
1

Oh yes. Very aware of it. Most MRP advice would make the husband quite happy if the wife practiced it. Shut up, get in shape, look sexy, dress sharp, earn money, pursue your own interests, but never say no to sex from your spouse. Basically describes the perfect wife, too.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/15 04:14 AM
2

Thanks. There are some gems of wisdom in the comments section as well. "Zero times shredded is still zero (game)" is going to be my mantra for awhile until I internalize it.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/15 04:09 AM
1

Glad you're thinking this through. A wife will cost you a shit ton more than $150 per month in the long run, and (depending on your vows) may negate your ability to get a hooker with a clean conscience. In the worst case, add in debt from a failed mortgage after divorce and then child payments and travel to see your kids. This chick is already not pulling her own weight. You want to risk trusting her with your future kids?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/15 05:04 AM
1

Very important clarification. Thanks!
/r/askMRP23/10/15 11:23 PM
2

Everybody worth spending any time with secretly thinks they're superior to you in a half dozen ways. They're right about at least half. So this guy has a poor filter. Who cares? The bigger concern here is that you've got a filter in page you're afraid you'll drop and lose your job. Time to figure that out. Good rule to start with: Just don't start being too honest. There's nothing particularly alpha about pure honesty. Pure honesty tells fat people they're going to die early, which they already …
/r/askMRP23/10/15 12:04 AM
3

Doing less work for more money isn't beta at all, it's common sense. As a very skilled pro, I just took a job don't exactly that. Eventually my boss will figure out what else I can do and ask me to take on more responsibility. When he does, I'll negotiate even more money or perks. In the meantime, I do the job Iwas hired for really well, then go home and take care of my own projects. :)
/r/askMRP22/10/15 11:58 PM
1

What the boss says goes, but not because he can fire me. It's because he's accountable for the outcome in ways I am not. I probably enjoy reminding him of this fact more than I should. I don't consider it showing him my throat. It's more like, it's his nickel, his contact, his hour or my time. I've been lucky enough not to work for any assholes, though. Or they've been too concerned about losing me to show it.
/r/askMRP22/10/15 11:55 PM
2

Being alpha doesn't have to mean losing the ability to be a team player. To quote Lego Movie Batman: "Really really rich...kinda makes it better!" Make sure you're saving at an appropriate rate to set aside some "fuck you" or "no thanks" money; then don't sweat it.
/r/askMRP22/10/15 11:52 PM
2

If she's saying you're terrible at romance, yet fucking with you regularly and you're both enjoying it, even though you have a toddler, I say you're good to go. If you still want to improve, find a copy of the Sex God Method, and read it for yourself, not just for her. Also, related field report - once you lift enough and lose the gut, "let's go for a quickie" or showing a boner is considered plenty romantic. Married or not, guys in great shape don't need as much game. And when there's a toddler…
/r/askMRP22/10/15 11:47 PM
3

I suspect that stat to be because most husbands have sacrificed most of their leverage, which I believe is common because it's what modern society trains them to do. As a husband, like any leader, if we are employing our full leverage all the time, to get our way on everything, we are a brutal and just bad leader. But in contrast, if we've divested ourselves of all leverage by choosing to never exercise any of it, then we have abdicated our leadership role. Modern thought would have it that this…
/r/askMRP15/10/15 11:08 AM
1

Yes. High dread with low SMV causes her to wonder what she's supposed to be fighting so hard to keep. I wouldn't take comfort tests as a sign that it isn't happening, though. Seems to me like a comfort test is still a rational reaction for the wife - to help her gauge whether she needs to move on, or whether she can go back to being complacent, depending on the man's reaction. Notice that either way the man reacts, he is still losing, due to his low SMV / misuse of dread.
/r/askMRP15/10/15 10:54 AM
2

Your dead level is higher than your SMV, which means her dominant strategy is to seek a lower dread, higher SMV man, if she can. Obviously, lowering your SMV is never the answer. Dread can be dialed up and down, but you may not have much mastery over it yet, and that's okay. Stay the coarse, but don't push the dread throttle any harder than lifting and living does on it's own. Remember that as long at you improve yourself, your relationships will improve too, either with her or someone else late…
/r/askMRP14/10/15 01:15 AM
1

Nice. It's great to find the real number that works. So much easier to relax and stick with it for however long it takes, one you have a reliable number. Congrats!
/r/askMRP04/10/15 05:02 AM
1

Cool. I weigh myself daily, but I only look at the trend chart about once per week. Then based on the most recent 3 week trend, I increase our decrease my calorie intake, of needed.
/r/askMRP03/10/15 11:10 AM
1

To me the hard part of cutting is just the time it takes to do it right. Since I'm conscious of muscle loss, I target losing between 1lb and 1/2 lb each week. Since I started at least 30 lbs over weight, it's been a long cut. Factoring in muscle gain along the way (leangains) and even the targeted weight loss gets hard to track, except very slowly in the mirror. Sounds like you've got the right attitude and a good plan, so you'll do great!
/r/askMRP02/10/15 11:46 AM
2

Pots e me in mind of a scene from the book Post Captain. The anchor cable is snapped by canon fire when it's needed to unstuck the ship. The captain dives into the water to swim the cable out to one of the boat crews. He does this simply because it needs done and most of his sailors cannot swim.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/15 01:39 AM
1

You're staying from a great point. Anger is the next phase, when you realize you were quite a catch yourself. Keep your mouth shut, your feet straight ahead, and use it to lift. It passes. We're not about marrying well here, we're about doing life well after marriage. That said, you're in for an easier time because you married well. But you're still in hard mode, so shut up and lift.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/15 01:35 AM
2

But every man likes blow jobs, and a chick with a man she's deeply attracted to (he lifts) is going to notice and take notice of this fact... :) Yeah, there are exceptions. But most of our wives aren't the exception. It could be anything... buy it usually really is just that we men aren't attractive enough yet to turn her on so far that she forgets her inhibitions.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/15 01:28 AM
0

On some level your angry at yourself for ending up in a marriage you aren't totally satisfied with, and that's going to naturally bleed over 50% to her. Honestly, just wait it out and try not to act on it for now. Anger comes from a sense of entitlement - we feel we deserved better. As we let go of entitlement and realize we have ourselves to blame above all else, then the anger fades, and it gets way easier and more natural to take advantage of our new insights. So my best advice is to sit tigh…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/15 01:20 AM
0

On some level your angry at yourself for ending up in a marriage you aren't totally satisfied with, and that's going to naturally bleed over 50% to her. Honestly, just wait it out and try not to act on it for now. Anger comes from a sense of entitlement - we feel we deserved better. As we let go of entitlement and realize we have ourselves to blame above all else, then the anger fades, and it gets way easier and more natural to take advantage of our new insights. So my best advice is to sit tigh…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/15 01:20 AM
2

On some level your angry at yourself for ending up in a marriage you aren't totally satisfied with, and that's going to naturally bleed over 50% to her. Honestly, just wait it out and try not to act on it for now. Anger comes from a sense of entitlement - we feel we deserved better. As we let go of entitlement and realize we have ourselves to blame above all else, then the anger fades, and it gets way easier and more natural to take advantage of our new insights. So my best advice is to sit tigh…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/15 01:20 AM
2

Visible abs aren't just for looks - getting rid of the gut also makes sex more fun for the lady in your life - bits touch that didn't used to. So yeah, there's a cut in your future as well as a bulk. Cutting is harder, you'll be doing it a larger percentage of the time. Make peace with that. But there's no point in cutting until after the lady in your life has started swooning over the heavy things you casually lift.
/r/askMRP27/09/15 01:12 AM
5

Great FR, thanks. Here's a related FR of my own, from not that long ago: Deciding to play before work is something my wife took issue with as well. I found that the testiness stopped when I told her exactly when the work (which I had previously annouced was scheduled for today) was going to happen. I.e. She asks about when we're cleaning the garage. I answer that we are finishing the remaining 3 episodes of season 4 of the series we are watching, or when I finish my lunch, whichever comes later.…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/15 02:12 PM
2

Yes. This is a great way to records the principle, and one that men are likely to be able to remember in the great of the moment.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/15 01:50 PM
2

There's enough variety of value on the reading list that I would lean toward picking up the next book before starting to repeat. I think, "The Way of the Superior Man" might be particularly valuable to you next. It continues to expand on how this is all about you, but bridges into how to pursue that in ways that make your more empathetic, and a better lover. I was falling into the "comes across as an asshole" pit, myself, until I read WOTSM and applied it. Kudos on stating lifting! It really is …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/15 12:36 PM
2

Sounds like I need to buy Diablo III for the wife and I...
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/15 03:53 AM
1

Your only mistake here is second guessing your own radio silence. As you grow, you'll trust your future and past selves to reassure her, and won't need to respond to every text with a carefully crafted masterpiece, or send extra texts throughout the day beyond when you have a reason (like she initiates). The underlying principles are: Value your own time. Value her. Be true to both of those, in that order. You might think there's a conflict there, or that it lessens her, but there isn't and it d…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/15 03:46 AM
1

If this is what you do, keep don't it. It's working, and it's you. You're not here to become someone else in that way.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/15 03:42 AM
1

Yep. I've always had a bad habit of speaking too softly, and I'm still working on it. Anything worth saying is with saying loud enough to be heard. :) I took a few speech classes and even some singing lessons. Both helped significantly. But I find that being aware and conscious of my voice is the most important thing.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/15 03:40 AM
1

If you don't have a hobby already, check your local library and Maker space for tutorials, then try a bunch of stuff. I struggled with this for a long time, not least because the places I was sourcing my time attracted men I didn't want to become more like. Finding my own passionate hobbies has stated to lead to better connections, as I've achieved enough mastery to start helping others who do other cool things that I would like to learn. The best societies to join are naturally exclusive, becau…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/15 03:37 AM
2

Great post. I'm going to call out your bullshit here, because someone needs to. You're exactly right about the value of bullshit! It doesn't get enough attention, in most manly plans. The dirty secret to bullshit is that it frequently isn't. At work I sometimes say "I can do that", even though I don't know how. I tend to be right, because committing makes me figure it out. Obviously, there's plenty of times when bullshit bravado isn't the right answer. We don't take unnecessary risks with others…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/15 03:29 AM
1

Very good point. It just feels like cheating because being beta is a lot of with too, just a different kind. So thing from no results to great results feels like the Konami code sometimes.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/15 03:12 AM
1

Exactly sir!
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/15 03:11 AM
1

Let's take a moment to talk about the male imperative. You've confused mother nature's interests with your own. Mother nature doesn't give a shit if you ever see your kid again, or can never land another well paying job in this community again. Mother nature will be perfectly content if you lose the house in the divorce and rent from an unbroken chain of asshole landlords for the rest of your life. Mother nature is totally fine with you getting to pay child support for a decade for crazy office …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/15 07:23 AM
2

Sounds like you're handing the comfort tests well. Keep on mind your objective isn't to calm her inner turmoil, because it's within your power. Your objective is just to be an anchor point she can return to between whatever else her inner turmoil tosses her.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/15 07:07 AM
2

Re that sleep book: That's probably the most important piece of advice in this thread. :D Hadn't read it for our first kid - we were miserable. Wife found it between kids one and two - second kid is so much easier, a big part because of what we learned in that book.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/15 07:04 AM
4

Dave Ramsey has some great advice and resources for exactly your situation. He would tell you: the bad news is you're in a deep hole. The good news is you've got a big shovel (great income)! Check out his resources. http://www.daveramsey.com/home/ Just listening to his Podcast has been an asset to me. My wife and I both took his Financial Peace University when it was in town, early in our marriage. I've forgotten the cost, I remember it being negligible. Anyway, my point is: you can probably get…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/15 06:56 AM
2

Genuine part of me? Nah. But consistent imitation bullshit may as well be the real thing. The more we learn, the more we realize we're just faking it to get by. I'd hate to think how inferior a true zen master must feel most of the time, having a better understanding than any of us! Playbook? It's a mix for me - some instinct - I had a solid role model in my father, so part of RP for me has just been figuring out why so much of what he did worked, and finding that by understanding it, I can appl…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/15 06:46 AM
1

Nice. I just taught my four year old MTG. :) I am a pretty easy going Dad, but I'll not sit by and raise kids who can't handle simple mana curve calculations... something, something... probably leading to downfall of modern society.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/15 06:35 AM
1

My wife and I tend to play through a short game together roughly once per year. Usually takes about 3 weeks worth of evenings after the kids are in bed, with apprepriate nights off for more important things (sex, budget, and home maintenance). Whenever possible, I match this up with when my brother is able to play the same game online. I personally don't game solo at all, and haven't for a very long time (not since I was 11, when my brother picked up his first controller). I will play solo for a…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/15 06:31 AM
2

You're trying to win with parlor tricks. You need to grow into an Oak. You can lose and lose and lose, as long as you become that dependable oak by the finish line. Parlor tricks and trying to win can and may hurt your wife and kids. Becoming a stoic oak who doesn't reinforce their bad behaviours will benefit them. You might benefit them as your wife's ex. In fact, per Dale Carnegie's "How to stop worrying" you need to plan on it. Trek yourself she's going to divorce you and try to take the hous…
/r/askMRP13/09/15 01:15 PM
1

Held your frame, drew the little guy into it. made everyone better off. Well done, sir.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/15 04:45 AM
1

The bit about shoes is terrific - I didn't understand how significant it was until I started wearing nice shoes. The ladies really do check the shoes first.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/15 01:12 AM
2

What you were considering is called negotiating desire, and it doesn't work. And it's pathetic, it'll make you feel like shit if you do it. I'm all for communicating with the wife: if there's something she needs to hear, but not just because I feel sorry for myself. Here's the filter for emotionally charged topics: Do I have a definite objective for this communication that I am confident will make one or both of us better off? If not I bite my tongue until later. There's probably something with …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/15 01:07 AM
2

You just got your chops busted by /u/whinemoreplease. It's like we're brothers now. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/15 02:05 PM
1

"I think the right answer is, if your woman is taking advantage of whatever your beta tendencies are, then she's not the right one for you. You should get out. Cause let's face it, someday you might get sick, be down for a while, or something. If she's going to jump on that and step out on you, well that's on her, not you. The trick is to figure out if she's like that in advance of the shit going down." This is a great topic, and one we haven't spent much time discussing in MRP yet. I would love…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/15 02:01 PM
1

In Dale Carnegie's "How to stop worrying and enjoy life", he lays out three steps: Imagine the worst possible outcome related to the thing you (or she) are anxious about. Make peace with it, as if it had already happened. Write down anything you can do to make the worst case better. Imagine the worst has already happened and you're playing catch up. By the time your list is done, you'll be proud to realize you've actually gotten an early start. My wife tends to worry about things she thinks aren…
/r/askMRP29/08/15 05:32 AM
1

Sounds like you've got the awareness of your own actions, and that's the important bit. As you watch your own failures, you'll find them coming farther and farther apart. Hang in there.
/r/askMRP29/08/15 05:23 AM
1

Good stuff, but your SMV is mostly what happens after you lift weights and lose weight. Even more so with the wife, because let's face it, she knows all our best lines.
/r/askMRP29/08/15 05:22 AM
1

Well said. Really puts it in perspective!
/r/askMRP29/08/15 05:18 AM
2

Yep. If you gotta vent, better to get it done here and hold your oak frame around your family. :)
/r/askMRP29/08/15 05:15 AM
1

Yes. That's an important clarification. Thanks.
/r/askMRP29/08/15 05:13 AM
2

Eh. You said something that would have been a compliment to my wife. Yours took it negatively because she knows she's beem misbehaving. Let her chew on it for herself until she makes her own peace with it. She knows what she should be doing differently, and what you say about it isn't going to lighten that burden. Only she can make the choices that will make her feel better.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/08/15 06:08 AM
1

I needed this info too, thanks!
/r/MarriedRedPill27/08/15 06:02 AM
1

Way to own your shit! You're in good company here. Now go lift something heavy. ;)
/r/askMRP27/08/15 05:57 AM
1

Another quick thought: you seem ready to actively seek out this interaction, but if you do, you've entered MIL's frame by letting this be more important to you then it should be. Try to relax and let it come to you. It's a minute annoyance (absolutely everything involving only words is strictly minutia!) and so it only merits gentle correction.
/r/askMRP27/08/15 05:54 AM
2

There's the real deal. Excellent summary, sir.
/r/askMRP27/08/15 05:51 AM
1

Calling the MIL out for her bullshit will feel good, but it will also be exiting your frame and entering hers. Reimagine your relationship with her as if it was with your favorite 6 year old god-daughter, who happens to have awful parents. Sure, she says obnoxious shit all the time, but it's not your job to fix that. You just politely but firmly avoid her when she's misbehaving, and enjoy her company when she's behaving well. She's attracted to the genuine affection you show when she's behaving,…
/r/askMRP27/08/15 05:49 AM
1

The relationship it's salvageable. This is one of the cases where AWALT is really just everyone is like that. Everyone just wants to manipulate you. That's why the techniques in WISNIFG work so well. That said, only /u/Griever114 and wife can decide if the relationship hadms enough upside to be worth salvaging.
/r/askMRP27/08/15 05:42 AM
1

Your top priority is actually outcome independence here. Keep your good humor throughout. Agree and amplify with humor. Fog, firmly but gently. Never quit smiling while you broken record. If your relationship with your in-laws is otherwise worthwhile, you need to stay laser focused on keeping a gentle easy going frame. You'll get to kick ass and take names later with a more deserving target. For now, keep it gentle, keep it in good humor, and have a plausible white lie on hand any time you or yo…
/r/askMRP27/08/15 05:36 AM
1

My experience has been, for SMV: Fork put downs are king (I eat less, I lose weight, the muscle I have shows through). Lifting heavy stuff is next, body weight comes in last of the three. That said, my pull up bars and rings are what keep it interesting and fun for me, and my wife gets the tingles when she walks in on those exercises in progress. There's a lot of variety and progression available with bars and rings, and most of the interesting stuff looks pretty badass, once past the basics.
/r/askMRP27/08/15 05:28 AM
1

Not sure what you should do, buy I would make a plan to keep custody of my kid. I would be polite but not particularly secretive about it. Your situation may vary, but if you run the numbers, you're better off if you know you can afford after school in home care or whatever else you would need, logistically. Have a plan.
/r/askMRP25/08/15 04:10 AM
1

Well played, sur.
/r/askMRP25/08/15 04:05 AM
2

Seneca the Younger had some good things to say on the topic of outcome independence. Heinlein's 'Time Enough for Love' (and much of his other work) spend significant time deconstructing u unhealthy prudishness about flirtation and sex. It also has a touch of advice of being alpha. A favorite quote of mine is "They say it's better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but I'd prefer to be the live lion, all the same."
/r/askMRP25/08/15 04:01 AM
2

Oh, yes, absolutely. In fact, for anyone short on time, I would recommend just starting with Screwtape Letters.
/r/askMRP24/08/15 12:17 AM
2

C.S. Lewis fantasy books have a decent helping of this. Basically anything referencing the Lion Aslan ends up describing guidelines how to be care for someone without ceasing to be purposeful and powerful, and without letting them slack off.
/r/askMRP23/08/15 10:40 PM
5

Keep an eye out next time you watch a James Bond film - once in awhile there's a beautiful woman he does not sleep with. Watch his demeanor - he exudes this wonderful aura of "Of course I would, but just happen to have reasons not to just at the moment." It simultaneously reinforces his manliness, by holding to his boundaries, and also reinforces her self-image, by openly acknowledging her attractive qualities.
/r/askMRP23/08/15 10:36 PM
1

Good stuff. This pretty much covers it. :)
/r/askMRP23/08/15 10:28 PM
1

That's awesome.
/r/askMRP23/08/15 10:22 PM
1

Interesting. I know my wife read it really on in our marriage. Maybe I deserve less credit for my success than I thought!
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/15 03:51 AM
1

Yep. Solid advice. Of a gym isn't practical, buy weight equipment for home. Most men's reasons for not having a home gym have beta "don't change the way the wife likes the house" origins. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/15 01:29 PM
1

Use the anger to lift heavy things. Use it to pursue your passions. It's a resource like any other. You decide whether it rules you, or you matter it.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/15 01:01 PM
1

Great post. Internalize it. Feel the pain and the anger and the humiliation of being tricked your entire life. Channel it into the gym. Prefectly put. I should get that engraved on a weight bar.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/07/15 11:47 AM
3

"I have done nothing wrong, and I want you to know that when I apologize, I mean it. I am not going to cheapen it by apologizing when I have done nothing wrong." Really excellent explanation of the principle. I may use that at some point. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/15 06:24 PM
1

First, welcome. I came here from /r/deadbedrooms as well, and mine improved greatly after I started following what is now in the sidebar. I want to address one specific question you implied: I've always seen a relationship, marriage in this case, to be an adventure, balanced between two equal beings. And what I've read shows it is a power struggle. It is a relationship between equal beings. Balance is a tricky word, and could be it's own post. I'm going to skip it for now. It does not have to be…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/15 10:51 PM
1

I'm late to the party, but it's so worth reiterating, because it works. A year ago I was exactly where you are: I biked daily to and from work, but did not lift. Lifting and losing weight has made a noticeable improvement in my sex life.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/15 10:34 PM
3

While I agree with your point that defining marriage as monogamy is blind spot for most of us; I think you're also skipping over some of the value in Tolkien's essay by boiling it down to such a simple point. Tolkien's words are paraphrasing sentiments expressed by King Solomon, a man famed for having had hundreds of wives and concubines. The RP concepts still apply, monogamy or not. The core point Tolkien is making is that a man tends to perceive his relationship success in terms of having made…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/15 10:28 PM
2

A lot of guys arrive at this sub having realized that they could have married better, or done better by not marrying at all. They're often surprised that we don't disagree with them on either point, but still recommend starting by improving their current marriage. Tolkien does a good job explaining why we gravitate to this seemingly paradoxical advice: That the next wife (or lover) isn't going to be any better than the first, unless the man makes himself better first.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/15 10:12 PM
1

No, not at all. You and I and most men have been conditioned to believe that if we earn money, provide food and shelter for our family, occasionally get promoted and pitch in around the house, our wives will stay with us and enjoy reasonably frequent sex with us. RP teaches us that none of those ideas hold water.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/07/15 06:29 PM
2

Re: loyal, yes, you summarized it well. Regarding carefully selecting 'the one': Sure, it's about her too, but MRP teaches us that the blue pill culture you and she were almost certainly raised in is going to play a huge role - much bigger than any of her or your personality traits. You are both entering this thing pre-programmed to fail (just as my wife and I did). As the masculine member of the relationship, it's on you to figure out what you're going to do about that. Whatever else you do, re…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/07/15 05:24 AM
1

This is a great series. Thanks for writing it.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/15 10:01 PM
2

It's much more about you, than her. She will respond to your actions. Be interesting and be attractive. If you decide to get married, then be very interesting, be very attractive, take care of the house and the kids, and be okay with (outcome independence) having sex a lot less often anyway. Re-read what /u/scrub_runner said a couple of times, too. No matter who you marry, the rules apply to you as much as it does to any of us. That disclaimer aside, many of us married really well. I am one of t…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/15 09:57 PM
2

Very well said. I think /u/regretfullyMarried got off easy because I got to this thread first, and ball busting isn't my style. Cheering on those who do apply appropriate ball busting is my style, though. You're doing God's work. Keep it up.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/15 05:15 PM
4

This all comes down to you screwed up by saying 'yes' when you meant 'no'. Check out the book, "When I say No, I feel guilty", the first chapter covers 'broken record', which is what you need here. You don't bargain - it's not a negotiation if you feel this strongly about it. You don't practice active listening (usually a great tool!) when she brings this subject up, because it's not up for discussion. You don't threaten divorce - threats are used by weak men. You simply politely repeat the exac…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/15 01:55 PM
2

Good. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/15 01:12 PM
3

I failed to lift three days last week while traveling, and then failed to lift yesterday for no good reason. I'm going to shut up and lift now.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/07/15 01:15 PM
2

"Losing one parent might be considered a tragedy, but losing both must be considered irresponsible." - The Importance of Being Earnest =\
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/15 07:52 AM
1

I'm pursuing too many separate goals right now, rather than focusing and finishing some out. I need to knuckle down and get my priorities decided.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/15 04:58 AM
1

In the persuit of outcome independence, which is highly effective: My favorite phrase for my kids is [I don't mind](Classic Sesame Street - That's What Friends Are F…: http://youtu.be/85xZgy_8JW4). "But Dad, I'm hungry!" "That's okay son, I don't mind." "Dad, I'm going to tip over my book case because I'm angry!" "You know, I can save you the trouble and carry it to the basement now, and you won't even have to tip it over and lose a privilege, if you prefer. I don't mind." My son knows I'll actu…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/15 04:55 AM
2

Yep. And while it's possible it was directed at OP, considering OPs reaction, it probably wasn't directed at OP. But I can't think of any way that changes how OP should handle it. Everything OP skhould do in response is something OP should be doing anyway.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/15 04:47 AM
5

"view marriage 2.0 as very very risky" A lot of guys on here will second that!:)
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/15 04:44 AM
5

I'm not aware of any difference. MRP's canon is TRP. You'll notice two major differences between the subs, but I don't see them as philosophical: In MRP, we encourage kids recommending immediate divorce to shut the hell up until they know something about divorce rape, and what it means for a man to choose keeping his house and seeing his children over satisfying his penis. MRP is an extremely focused sub - lots of topics that have a place in TRP don't belong here, so we don't see the same variet…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/15 04:41 AM
7

One more thought: Humiliation is like getting run over by a paper tire. It's a meaningless interruption. We should all seek occasional humiliation, just to remind ourselves it doesn't matter.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/15 04:14 AM
3

I have nothing to add, except that this advice by /u/theultimatecad should become part of our internal mantra. I'm certainly adding it to mine own set of mantras: "And as for that anger about (anything she did)? Don't speak of it to her. Go use it at the gym. Mentioning it will make you look like the biggest pussy in pusdyville and will accomplish nothing." When you've completely cooled off, if you've actually cooled off within two days, you may mention the incident exactly once (ever). When you…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/15 04:08 AM
2

If she's making accusations of abuse, you don't have a relationship. You probably need distance and non-intraction for both of your safety. You both should consider counseling, totally separate from eachother. In any case, I do not believe this forum is the place to find your answers. If she feels threatened by you, I think you're both past the point where you can build any kind of relationship, and best off simply giving each other space.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/15 10:51 PM
2

Well said. If OP isn't exaggerating, and is innocent of the accusations, this is the most important advice in this thread.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/15 10:47 PM
1

Great field report! Since our efforts have no end, it's important to remind ourselves what success looks like!
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/15 10:44 PM
2

The feminine frame sometimes tries to turn sex into a 'playful' reward system, which is really just a power grab, without realizing it. If the power grab succeeds, the female is disappointed. Just remember that she's having sex with you because you're attractive to her, not because your earned it in any other way, and you'll be fine. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/15 10:43 PM
5

First rule of initiating sex with the wife who has kids: Interrupt her television. You need to internalize that you're only going to be time for sex or TV, not both, and you're more important than the show, at least every other night. Also, don't get hung up on turning the sex around if your sexual market value isn't up to par - you'll get better return on your attempts later, after you've added some muscle and removed some fat.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/15 12:26 PM
2

Great advice. I wasn't too highlight this but in case anyone missed it, because a lot of guys need this advice: "I think you did a good job at keeping within your own frame and staying out of hers, I just think you didn't do enough to bring her into yours."
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/15 04:35 PM
3

Not doing the two thing. Thanks autocorrect. My whole post is nonsense. *not doing the real thing...
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/15 01:01 PM
5

I think what you've summarized here is the most important perspective: often games are an excuse for not doing the two thing. I think it's still valid to be aware of ways that video games and movies can provide unique experiences not available elsewhere and make time for those when they matter. For example, my brother, and my cousin and I completed a wonderful heist game last year together in an overnight marathon. This is a great memory we now share, and I'm really glad we didn't spend that nig…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/15 01:00 PM
1

I don't game, at the moment, except with my son. And I'm enforcing a break from gaming on him right now, so I'm also not gaming. I intend to play a lot of games with my son, with my brother and with my wife, in the future, particularly after I achieve some of my more pressing life goals in the next coupke of years. For the past two decades, I have had a rule that I only play games if they are with someone. In the long, I intend to do a lot of gaming.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/15 12:56 PM
3

I've had the same experience so far - it's much more common to get blue pill advice from male friends, even those who are actually successfully including red pill in their marriages. On average, men who are succeeding seem to be doing it by luck. Ironically, admitting that it's pure luck, and they have no understanding of women is actually pretty common. I'm not sure it really matters that the men we surround ourselves with be red pill, as long as they are taking ownership of their own destiny, …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/15 12:49 PM
3

I found that "Way of the Superior Man" finally helped me make peace with and grow out of my anger phase. There's some great stuff in there about moving past "maintain my frame" into "joyfully welcome her into my frame".
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/15 06:15 AM
3

This is as fine a contribution to our common understanding as anything yet. Well written, sir.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/15 05:03 AM
1

I am glad to hear your marriage is happy. :) That information does make the decision you face more difficult. I think, if you continue to introspect, you will discover that you are faced with choosing between two obligations: To keep your previous word. and To respect your obligation to your current (and possible future) family members to time the introduction of a new child as carefully as possible, considering all factors. A man's word is not to be broken lightly, but there are times when he m…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/15 02:57 PM
5

You decided to go for the drive on the windy road for her and then got upset when she reacted differently than expected. So your motivation was seeking a specific reaction from her. Your frame was compromised before she ever said anything. You didn't start with a foundation of outcome independence, so you weren't able to roll with her shifting mood and move on with enjoying the rest of the evening. I recognize the pattern, because it still happens to me a lot. Don't sweat it. Just realized that …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/15 12:14 PM
2

I've been working from 'shut up and lift' so long that I am starting to see gaps - empty moments when I know that pure alpha alternate universe me would have said or done more, but current me doesn't feel like it or doesn't know what to say. Not knowing exactly what those gaps were, I decided to continue to shut up and lift, and wait and watch. Thankfully, sidebar to the rescue: "The Way of the Superior Man - Chapter 17: Praise Her" tells us to praise the things in our woman that we want to ampl…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/15 10:19 PM
1

In "When I say No, I feel Guilty", Assertive Right IV says "You have the right to change your mind ". Don't talk about duress, just admit you changed your mind, and move on. Yes, it's a ding against your manliness score, but it's a ding you committed in your pre-pill days, and a course correction is infinitely superior to bringing a new child into an unhappy marriage.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/15 08:26 PM
2

I use the same list, with a side of shutting up. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/15 08:16 PM
6

Normally you never talk about this stuff with your wife, but be ready to answer some questions on this one. Obviously, trust your gut, don't go out and but that house. When your wife asks why, as gently as possible, tell her very specifically what would need to change for you to possibly want to buy a house with her. The goal here isn't too change her, it's to give her a fair understanding of the situation, so you can reflect back and know you treated her with the same integrity you treat anyone…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/15 07:53 PM
1

It gets easier as the kids gets older, of course. :) The biggest impact for me was when I started consistently putting my son to bed at 7 pm, and leaving him to his own devices (whether awake or sleep) at 8 pm. That leaves 2 hours for the wife and I. Don't count on spending that time with the wife right away, until your hobbies are firmly re-established. Your wife may not realize it, but she would rather be competing for your time with your other fascinating valuable interests; as long as she wi…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/15 02:05 PM
1

You need to get control of your schedule. Have a look at the book "Essentialism", it can help. I have almost exactly the same schedule you do, and I'm making time to play with my son, work two separate hobby projects, and occasionally watch an episode of TV with my wife in the evening.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/15 01:14 PM
1

I swallowed the pill while my wife was pregnant with our second. You're absolutely right, it's hard as fuck. Watch out for the anger phase and be careful that it doesn't spill out. Be angry at yourself for letting things get this bad, and at society for teaching you shitty techniques. But realize that All Women Are Like That, and that your wife will respond predictably as you improve yourself (assuming that only normal blue pill lack of attraction is in play, and not anything deeper). It took ti…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/15 03:20 AM
1

Stay away from hard dread until much later. If you just swallowed the pill, your sexual market value probably isn't high enough for it to be effective anyway. But, you never have to wait to start lifting and pursuing manly goals and friendships - which raise your sexual market value in relatively non-threatening ways.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/15 03:15 AM
2

Right. Beta behaviors are okay after sex has returned, but high risk / no reward (since SMV isn't high enough yet) until then.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/15 03:12 AM
1

Haha. Well, that is exactly what's going to happen. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/15 05:56 AM
2

Once you're centered and acting on your plan, you can and should relax in the knowledge that it's going to work out, one way or another. :) For one, being relaxed is, in itself, attractive to the opposite sex. More importantly, choosing to relax is a fake-it-till-you-make-it version of outcome independence. Think of it as practice.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/15 05:45 AM
2

Excellent. With that covered, you can relax and see how it plays out. Enjoy improving your skills while in hard mode, and know that you can move on if things don't get a while lot better.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/15 04:27 AM
3

How confident are you in the effectiveness of your current method of birth control? You do not want to accidentally introduce kids into this relationship.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/15 04:16 AM
2

I was homeschooled myself, but public school with heavy involvement in the school district is my current plan for my kids. I've budgeted a sizeable amount that I can use to donate to the schools my kids attend. It's still one half the cost of home school supplies, but should go a long way toward ensuring my kids' schools have great facilities.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/15 12:34 PM
1

Good plan, if you've got the resources. I was home schooled for most grades until high school. My younger siblings were home schooled until college. Going to public high school gave me a terrific coming-of-age transition period that I think my siblings missed out on.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/15 12:31 PM
3

Yep. It's totally something the wife could perceive as Beta. This is a worthy discussion aside. My experience is a married man can do as much Beta shit as he wants, as long as he understands that he doesn't deserve (and won't get any extra) sex for it. Since OP is pretty securely satisfied every time he indulges, this seems like the safest beta behavior. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/15 12:18 PM
7

Nice. Internet high fives.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/15 12:14 PM
1

He actually did great, but it could have gone much worse, and would have if he were married, based on field reports we've gotten. How mistake was responding to her ultimatim with his own. Ultimatums are a form of negotiation. No more disrespect Saying this to a woman makes basically zero difference, no matter how motivated she is. Her distespect will stop only when her man constantly passes her fitness tests. Sex as often as I demand Saying this to a woman makes no difference, no matter how moti…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/15 12:12 PM
2

Two weeks is way too early to start making ultimatims. I'm glad it worked out for OP, but most guys will crash hard if they try it. Making ultimatums is, in itself, a beta behavior - it's really just another form of negotiating for affection. We're still building a list of best practices, but we've seen a lot of guys make this unnecessarily hard on themselves by making ultinatims about sex before improving their sexual market value (SMV). Most of the guys here who brought back their marriages fr…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/15 03:06 AM
2

Well said sir. My reaction: Oh boy, we got another two week-er. Better get out my keyboard. scrolls Ah. /u/whinemoreplease is already here. Sweet. Nevermore the keyboard, it's popcorn time! Anyway, thanks. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/15 01:54 AM
1

You've asked two separate questions: "Should you apply everything you have learned about being attractive toward your ex-wife?" Absolutely. Any and every woman will treat you better if she's attracted to you and thinks there's any chance she will get to sleep with you. That attraction will affect all sorts of interactions in positive ways, all of which will improve your access to your kids. You have a responsibility to your kids to game your ex-wife, to whatever extent you can tolerate. "Should …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/15 02:18 AM
1

Haha. Yes. I had the same initial reaction. Then I heard the voice of this forum in my head reminding me to turn to page two where it says "AWALT". :)
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/15 01:32 PM
2

This is a dangerous set of beliefs to lump together, even if it is a very common male self image that deserves to be dissected. Let's break this down by bits: Being an upstanding mensch Orthogonal to being alpha. , a leader-among-men, Pretty standard result of being alpha. a guy who’s honest Actually very common alpha trait. Lying takes an effort level that your typical alpha rarely reaches the necessary give-a-shit levels for. and in touch with his feelings Orthogonal to alpha, but directly val…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/15 01:58 AM
3

Spend some time meditating on what your life will be like if you fuck up this marriage - or if you simply act on whatever you're tempted to do. You might still feel this way and still make a change. and you might not. Either way, with patience, you can act out of manly strength instead of childish emotion. It's good that you're rethinking your core beliefs and rebuilding, accepting the valid and rejecting the invalid beliefs you previously held. Every man should do so all the time. It's not good…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/15 04:08 PM
1

Ditto what /u/whinemoreplease said - I am careful to keep a lid on my natural flirtation when around people I encounter regularly, such as at work and in my closest social circle. I've heard this rule called "Don't shit where you eat." When flirting with a random stranger in passing, I keep the mental mantra "I would fuck you if I weren't already married to a terrific catch." It helps draw the correct boundary for me, to ensure I'm building her confidence but not setting her up for a disappointm…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/15 12:43 PM
3

Feeling angry is fine and normal. Acting angrily at any time when your home or family isn't being physically threatened is an unattractive overreaction - it's a fear response reflecting an internal beta frame. Remember that in nature, the more alpha the animal, the more often they solve their disputes without expending much energy - most often using only relatively small amounts of body language. This is an evolutionary advantage to the alpha. While two betas may exhaust themselves competing for…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/15 12:21 PM
1

Your short term communication strategy should be to shut up and lift. When you start to notice improvements in the mirror you'll be ready to shut up and lift some more. When the attractive young lady running the check out line is flirting with you in spite of the fact that you've just been minding your own business, it's time to start communicating your new sexual expectations to your wife. In the meantime, you swallow the pill that the current status quo is of your own making, and you focus on …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/15 04:34 AM
1

Your short term communication strategy should be to shut up and lift. When you start to notice improvements in the mirror you'll be ready to shut up and lift some more. When the attractive young lady running the check out line is flirting with you in spite of the fact that you've just been minding your own business, it's time to start communicating your new sexual expectations to your wife. In the meantime, you swallow the pill that the current status quo is of your own making, and you focus on …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/15 04:34 AM
1

I'm developing a web service solely dedicated to planning and scheduling actions on pursuit of completing goals. I need to correct some speed issues with the user interface, but after that I will be glad to share beta access with anyone from MRP who is interested. You guys are, ultimately, the group I'm most interested in feedback from about the app, if for no other reason than that your feedback will turn the app into the kind of tool I want to be using myself, even if I don't know what that lo…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/15 04:19 AM
2

After GTD, the book 'Essentialism' is a terrific follow up - it helps take that momentum from GTD and focus it on a smaller number of more awesome goals.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/15 04:11 AM
5

Kudos. This is a great field report. I have also rejected outright, and eventually found similar benefits. But I now consider doing so to have been my mistake, in retrospect - at least after the first time. In more recent cases, I've taken it as an opportunity to communicate to my wife that if she wants sex at a time when I am not initiating, I expect her to put solid effort into seducing me. She has risen quite delightfully to the challenge, and now knows that I expect some flirtation involving…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/15 04:04 AM
1

You may want to check out http://www.reddit.com/r/exmuslim/wiki/faq They seem like they have a good support network for this situation.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/15 05:04 AM
3

I really enjoy my wife looking seductive - because her demeanor while we're out together makes it so clear (to everyone starting*) that the seductiveness is for me. *So many people staring!
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/15 04:33 AM
4

My rule is: Look good, all the time. Sweats are fine if they fit the body and the occassion perfectly. Slacks and well fit and well cared for tops made from quality materials work almost anywhere almost any time. Edit: Hopefully this is obvious, but I hold this standard for myself, and my wife holds it for herself. My children are still so young they cannot finish meals without wearing them, so I haven't started teaching them this principle except through example. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/15 04:30 AM
1

Learn computer programming. Same basic reasons as learning some math - exercises lots of parts of the brain a associated with problem solving without requiring a real life crisis.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/15 04:27 AM
1

Read about math on the Internet. You might learn some math, and you'll definitely exercise the parts of the brain responsible for patience and dealing with frustration.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/15 04:24 AM
2

Absolutely. I would add balance exercises, endurance exercises and every sport to this list. Engaging the body is an obvious, but often overlooked easy to engage the brain.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/15 04:21 AM
1

There are many mental equivalent to lifting weights, but an ignored one is repetitions. Solve a difficult problem. For mental health, you have probably learned to give yourself a break - spend a few minutes doing something not at all mentally taxing. This is healthy, don't stop. But do. Once in awhile, finish something mentally taxing, and just for the hell of it, intentionally jump directly into something else also mentally taxing. Like any other exercise, plan for safety and failure. If you ne…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/15 04:19 AM
2

Pick something impossible (to you) to make, and start working toward being able to make it. Your brain will have to stretch to learn a everything necessary. More importantly, in the long run, your brain will have to adapt to longer and longer periods of sustained focus, as long as you strive toward masterful work.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/15 04:14 AM
1

Thanks!
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/15 01:34 PM
1

Thanks for sharing this! Can I get a link to the original article? I maintain a piece of goal tracking software and I would like to add a link to this article to the top of the 'Goals for Later' page. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/15 01:28 AM
3

I don't have anything to add, except thanks for sharing this and here's an Internet high-five from one good wife picket to another. I'd like to call it skill, but admit it may also have been blind luck, in my case.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/15 05:51 AM
1

You make a hugely important point. Whether OP keeps this relationship or not, sticking this out in the short term is practice that OP can benefit from.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/15 05:43 AM
3

You are rewarding her (by cuddling and watching something together) for turning down sex, and should stop, if you want her to stop. You can influence her to stop complaining so much, just by politely (and consistently when it happens) mentioning you find it unattractive.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 02:25 PM
3

Much of MRP strategy applies just fine for a woman. One critical part of MRP is Leadership, with an emphasis on the know-thyself aspect. Leadership and knowing thyself are critical at every level of every organization, including a family. CEOs and Middle managers use the same tactics to lead their teams. The fact that the manager is RP should not make him worse at choosing to follow the CEOs vision. The fact that the CEO is RP should not make him worse at using his customers and shareholders inp…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/15 12:18 PM
0

There are two critical factors here: attraction and communication. Sounds like you have a good start bringing your attraction back up. Obviously, keep working on that, as always. Next, add some communication. Sometime - not during or right before or after sex, emind her, in a detailed and positive and thorough way, how much you enjoy her breasts and want to touch and be touched by them. In particular, ask her to lead some breast centric activity next time in bed - having her initiate should redu…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/15 01:31 PM
2

Great point. Even though I am generally pro-apology, there is something very important in 'I get to give two more for the rest of my life, Make 'em count.' An apology should never be insincere, and a man should never be doing something he will regret later. Apologies are for drastic self course corrections, which should be very rare for a man working to improve himself.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/15 01:28 AM
6

Indeed. By far the most important advice here. I know a guy now still paying a mortgage on a home that his wife got a (baseless) restraining order against him visiting. It is mind boggling what the US legal system can do to a man who voluntarily moves out of his own home.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/15 01:22 AM
2

Are you paying the bulk of the mortgage or is she? If you're not paying the bulk of the mortgage, then there's your next goal - start working to improve your financial ability to contribute, and keep your head down and be polite until you succeed. If you are paying the bulk of the mortgage, then remind her of that fact and suggest she consider her options if she decides she needs a break from sharing a home with you. If she decides that she does need space, be supportive and carry her bags to he…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/15 01:19 AM
2

I recently discovered my muscle growth is stalled. Inspired by a fellow married red piller's thread, I realize I should be spending more of my spare time learning about lifting in order to break through this stall.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/15 01:07 PM
1

Save story here, except spending my spare time thinking about improving my lifts only just started for me - I recently started tracking numbers and the numbers just revealed that my strength growth is stalled. I better move this over to the 'own your shit thread'. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/15 12:58 PM
12

Too many RedPill posts talk about 'getting what I want', and not enough talk about 'having her ask for what I want'. If she's not begging for sex from you, you're not finished improving your body and your frame. Sex is just one of the great results on the path you've chosen. Stay focused on what you're doing and the sex will sort itself out.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/15 09:30 AM
2

My wife and I paid off our combined student debts two years into our marriage. Her debt was less than 5% of the total, because I attended a much more expensive school.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/15 07:07 PM
5

First of all: high five! Awesome problem to have. In a very distant second: I've been dealing with this as well. I decided to take a cold hard look at my own expectations: I think I was desiring a fantasy world where I didn't have to constantly work hard in order to keep sex thrilling. The reality I'm facing is that, while my wife can and certainly is adapting to my expectations, it's never going to come for free. I need to constantly evaluate what I want next and lead her in that direction. She…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/15 04:19 PM
2

"Uncorking the bottle of fucks to be given" is now in my vocabulary. I needed a better shorthand for the few situations that merit it. Thank you for that. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/15 01:49 PM
1

You don't necessarily get over this fear - you face it, you learn it, and you live with it. Of course I'm afraid of losing my wife - she's amazing. Anything worth having is going to hurt to lose. Fear has a purpose. Fear has value. We work harder to keep what we fear losing. But we don't let fear control our actions or it sabotages us. Fear motivates us, but never makes it to the top of our priority list. We're too busy and too driven for that. Don't try to get rid of that fear, just accept it a…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/15 07:41 AM
2

You handled it well, in my opinion. One thing that may help is to meditate where in your priority list 'helping her emotionally feel good' lies. Women know/hope it's on your list, and some think they want it to be your top priority. Obviously, things have gotten much better since moving 'her current emotions' down from the top of your list, so it should not go back at the top. :) You need to continue to correctly prioritize oil changes. She will probably continue to try to find out where her emo…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/15 01:40 PM
3

If this conversation happened after she had sex with you, then it's not a test or a power game, she just likes having sex with you and wants to do it more often.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/01/15 01:41 AM
2

Health Goals: Lose another 10-15 lbs. Long term, achieve and maintain a 'ladies are disappointed when I put my shirt back on' chest. Reach enough arm strength to comfortably hold myself above rings semi-indefinitely. Long term: be able to do a handstand from parallel rings. Sex Goals: Make having sex with me result in cravings for more. (Wife is hovering between appreciate and desire now. I have some work to do to up my game.) Professional Goals: Establish my reputation as a competent manger of …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/14 02:45 PM
2

On a related note, I've started to make rules for myself for styles I will and won't wear (based on what works for me). Anything that doesn't work, I get rid of I.e. the only t-shirts i wear are V-neck now, because they look so much better on my frame that normal neck t-shirts. I find it cute how the wife gets turned on when I make blanket statements about what I do or don't wear. She likes to dress me up, and likes figuring out what i will or won't wear. (She's shops places with good return pol…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/14 03:14 PM
3

Right. The wife is watching how others react to us as well. So the rule of thumb is dress to impress, all the time. I appreciate how OP makes it clear that dressing to impress doesn't always have to be dressing 'up'. Good fit in jeans and a t-shirt works really well. (But in I'm a dress slacks guy, myself.)
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/14 03:08 PM
6

Sounds like you've got a lot to think through. I think you'll be alright if you take it a day at a time. :) My wife and I are going through something similar. I've made it no secret that I won't allow our kids to be indoctrinated into the church she grew up in. It's really hard. The church is full of great people; but I have a responsibility as a father to give our kids their best chance at happiness, and her church's narrow world view (doctrine) doesn't serve that best chance. I don't believe y…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/14 07:01 PM
1

As others have pointed out, I try to stay conscious of my beta behaviors and make sure I'm not increasing them in response to actions that I don't like - I don't want to create a negative feedback loop. Otherwise, I like to imagine that I maintain a healthy baseline of actions that let my wife know that I am engaged with our relationship. One maybe exception that I'm aware of: I definitely ramp up the man-lift-heavy-thing, in direct response to her accomplishing goals that I previously suggested…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/14 06:43 PM
2

"I'm the one that wears the pants in the house, but she chooses which pair I wear." That is delightful.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/14 06:16 PM
1

The one I'm working through right now is Manager Tools.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/14 06:11 PM
1

To me it's all about taking that bullet in a non-vital spot. I gotta survive to disable the **** that pulled the trigger. I gotta survive to laugh about it with the kids as an old man.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/14 05:39 AM
3

I listen to podcasts on managing employees, and find they are often surprisingly relevant to MRP.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/14 05:31 AM
1

I hardly drive at all, since we live in a bicycle friendly community. My wife needs to drive daily, since she usually has kids with her. I often take over driving when I go out with her in the evening, about half the time. I consider doing the driving a beta/service thing, honestly. I do it to give her a break from it. To both my wife and I, driving is just a thing that needs done to get places.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/14 12:41 PM
1

Needing to check up on her isn't alpha. You need to increase your value (and confidence) enough that you don't need to worry about it.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/10/14 05:06 AM
2

You do need, in my opinion, to verbally acknowledge that she's not acting acceptably by your standards. But that's it. You mention it, and then you disengage. So a simple 'that didn't sound like thank you', and then close the conversation. And obviously, she can get her own water next time. Then the next time you feel like she needs a water and bring her one, you may need to politely prompt her for what to say. If she keeps it to a simple 'thank you', then you're back on fetching-each-other-wate…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/14 03:04 AM
2

There is some great advice in this thread already. One thing to add: Spend some time meditating on the difference between the most and least satisfying sex you have. One you know exactly what has turned you on or satisfied you in the past, clearly communicate to her that you expect it next time. Be sure to start with reasonable specific stuff. Be gracious (but not conciliatory) when it doesn't work out, realize nothing goes exactly according to plan. So I did this sort of meditation and realized…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/14 03:45 AM
2

Studies have shown that people actually really appreciate being encouraged to improve. As a married red pill man, you won't complain when something isn't right, you will communicate clear expectations regarding what you expect her to change, and how, and when. You will pick realistic goals, and be very specific. Ideally you'll find that your definition of 'realistic' pushes her for just a little bit more improvement than her own definition of 'realistic' would. This might cause her some initial …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/14 03:27 AM
3

My wife and I use separate debit cards for each budget category. It is crucial to disable the stupid 'overdraft protection' feature, otherwise the card just charges you $25 for the 'privilege' of moving some money from another account to save your wife from being embarrassed at the checkout line. Embarrassment at the checkout line feels bad but is harmless.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/14 01:06 PM
1

Good frame. And yes, you need to get her on a controlled budget ASAP. Be sure never to give her money in exchange for whining or bad behavior. It's probably cool to have some money aside that you can you to pitch in to reward good behaviors.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/14 01:00 PM
2

Also, I don't feel so much like I'm starting a new course so much as this is a "coming home" of how I acted before I was slowly neutered by my marriage over the course of 10 years. Well said. I've had exactly that feeling myself. It makes me feel a bit better about the change - I'm not swapping out for something new, I'm switching back to acting more like the person my wife wanted to marry in the first place.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/14 12:46 PM
6

If you're referring to the 'we're not having enough sex' talk, or the 'I'm trying something new called Red Pill' talk, then, no. One of the biggest sources of sex frequency improvement, for me, has been to stop being sensitive to her emotional state; and start just broadcasting my intentions, instead. So my version of the sex talk was basically "either we're having sex after little dude goes to bed, or I'm off for a three mile bike ride; but either way, I'm getting some exercise". I haven't ever…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/14 12:35 PM
3

I had a few extra days of this weekend, but not much money spare in the budget - so no ability to make grandiose plans. Usually, my wife gets antsy during this kind of unscheduled time together. But this time I went out of my way to have a priority list of what I wanted to do, whether it was typical vacation stuff, or mundane around the house stuff. My wife seemed much happier all weekend, and added her cleverness to the plan such that we got completely through my list and I had to start a secon…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/14 08:07 PM
1

Nicely done.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/14 08:02 PM
1

I dunno, I suppose with the chores, I hate how when I do something it starts off being helpful and met with gratitude, then just becomes expected. That rubs me the wrong way. This one is easier than you think. Do you love Pepsi or just take it for granted? If you love Pepsi, it's not because Pepsi is delicious (even though it is); it's because Pepsi Co. Reminds you day in and day out, several times per day, just how delicious it is. You gotta advertise, man. Take some hints from Pepsi - they are…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/14 04:59 AM
5

It sounds like you're on the right track. Actions speak louder than words. It sounds like she's seen your increased/maintained value and is ready to engage. She doesn't know how to say it, but she's asking you for a date. You don't have to completely ignore her attempts to communicate though, you just need to enter any communication that does happen with your own ground rules and goals clearly in mind. You've got a good start for communication ground rules: 1. You don't whine or complain. 2. You…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/14 05:16 PM
0

You need to start setting expectations. Next time she says "I feel like you're making me act a part.", tell her "Yes. And you probably won't be very good the first time, so it's important for you to start practicing now." No matter what her excuse is, politely reaffirm your expectation that she will overcome her excuse. If necessary, break your instructions down into very small and specific sub-steps. Forget about whether she's into it. She will be, later, once she's confident that she pleases y…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/14 01:26 PM
1

It sounds like your wife is good at communicating her expectations to you, but not so much, vice-versa. I've been there. Don't beat yourself up about it; but from now on, anytime she falls short, ask yourself "Did I make my expectations clear to her?" There's a lot of management resources out there for if you discover you need them. But most new leaders are surprised just how effective the simple act of setting clear expectations is.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/08/14 12:10 PM
3

Yes. There is also /r/marriedredpill It was started recently by married men who wanted a place to chat about red pill techniques in the context of a working long term relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/14 12:01 PM
1

It's only false advertising if it stops at some point. If it continues indefinitely, it's just good advertising.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/14 01:07 PM
1

You summarized well. While I'm adding "willingness to spend" i need to keep it within my frame. I'll report back when I know what that looks like.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/14 01:04 PM
1

Good point, thanks. I think I just need to stay focused on spending for myself, not on things I think she'll like. I'm pretty fun when I get a project in my head and am willing to spend sine money on it. I've kept the projects, but been putting off some cool ones due to the budget. I'll still have a budget, I'm just going to change some priorities.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/14 01:02 PM
1

Right. It's all about knowing what kind of experiences money can buy.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/14 01:00 PM
1

As an addendum to the rest of the thoughts in this thread: Don't let it become a relationship ender unless it really matters that much to you. One principle of maintaining frame is deciding your frame to begin with. If this legitimately falls outside your circle of concern, then don't sweat it. One caution: If you decide she's worth overlooking it, and you don't mention it upfront, or you agree it is okay, and then she never takes your name, then you never get to mention it again. You choose you…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/14 01:03 PM
5

Yep. Calling her on it would have created the illusion that it mattered, which in turn reinforces the bad behavior.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/14 12:56 PM
1

Ooh, I hadn't thought of date variety as a place to show SMV. Which is funny, because I have a ton to share on this topic, thanks to coworkers who know all the secretly wonderful places in town to eat. I'm adding this to my list of techniques to practice. Thanks for the tip.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/14 12:24 PM
1

Awesome update. Good analysis of the changes, too. I'll have to re-read and take a few notes. Thanks. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/14 12:21 PM
1

Bingo. And it's not as if 'chores' has to be a single thing. Each person has a different definition of 'chores' that need done, and each person should probably plan to do all of the ones they care about, and just be thankful for whatever overlap the other person has and does. The only thing that requires discussion between my wife and I is is how we might make each chore easier, i.e. by agreeing to get rid of some dishes, or furniture.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/14 05:41 PM
3

Well, delegating is always a big win, when it works. And when it doesn't, the worst case scenario is that I have to do whatever it was for myself. To keep for being overwhelmed, I try to limit what I concern myself with to what I could handle myself anyway. Anyway, most likely my wife is making all the real hard choices, and I'm just not aware of them - same as with my team at work. :)
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/14 05:36 PM
1

If I did all the chores, I would basically only get like 1 or 2 hours of free time each day after work, which would probably make me grumpy and annoying to deal with. It is time to reevaluate which chores actually matter, and which you can drop in favor of more free time. Rather than giving your man 50% of your chores, see if you can learn ways to just do 80% less and still be happy with your home life.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/14 12:38 PM
6

A husband here: Like with any other form of leadership, I delegate everything that can be delegated, and work towards being able to delegate the rest at the right time.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/14 12:25 PM
3

I wonder if we can get that added to the side bar...
/r/TheRedPill03/08/14 05:05 AM
2

Keep in mind that your long term goal should be to surround yourself with men who will watch your back and challenge you to grow yourself. Neither of those qualities is common among high school boys. So don't lose any sleep over it just yet. The people you will meet in college or professionally are much more likely to be the people who will challenge you to grow.
/r/TheRedPill03/08/14 05:03 AM
1

In the past year I've found my balls, mastered the art of STFU and have found my center. I'm married, have 3 kids with a wife who's a SAHM. NMMNG changed my life, and now Redpill is reinforcing what I knew. What is NMMNG?
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/14 11:33 PM
1

I was thinking the same thing. We could combine Married/LTR into one tag. I'm most interested in knowing the total relationship length, for context.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/07/14 05:15 PM
2

My other goal for my marriage is to show my kids how a relationship is supposed to look, with my son learning how to be an RP man and my daughter learning how to be an RP woman. I've got a son now and a daughter on the way, and have been thinking a lot about the same. Keep us posted. I would love to get your thoughts on what works and what doesn't.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/07/14 03:51 PM
1

I totally agree. You make a good summary of what I didn't like when I was reading about 'game' theory. To me, its easier to just get my own life together and set clear expectations with my wife, and then let it happen.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/07/14 03:44 PM
1

I've been married seven years and ran across TRP when reading up on 'game theory' when my wife and my sex life was lagging. Game (aggressive flirting, etc) is nice, and I've used it successfully with my wife, but it's way outside my core personality, and I find it hard to maintain. Alpha, though, I maintain pretty easily. I had a lot of aloha traits when she and I were dating, but i didn't realize it. Ironically, I suppressed many of those alpha traits after marriage, because that's what I thoug…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/14 05:20 PM
1

I don't mind helping as mod, as well. I haven't done it before, but I follow instructions well enough, if needed.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/14 05:09 PM
6

I was thinking of starting this, this morning. I'm delighted to find it exists now. We need a place to have discussions with the understanding that nexting and other nuclear options are much less desirable to us due to our other life priorities. I hope we make this a welcoming place for those considering or just starting long term relationships too. I don't blame TRP for being extremely cautious about LTRs, but it's nice to have somewhere to discuss with others who are already on LTR course and …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/14 05:07 PM
1

I agree that sharing the spreadsheet was a poor move for this guy. As you said, it just draws attention to information that doesn't help his cause. I do think it's recoverable. A woman had to feel really comfortable with her spouse to start ignoring him that blatantly, and she reacted hard to losing contact, so we know this guy has built up some value. I think if he pays this right, holds frame, and gives her just the right light touch of positive reinforcement via text message during her drive/…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/14 05:01 PM
1

In particular, Athol's thoughts on the values of Alpha and Beta traits is interesting in the context of being Red Pill in a long term relationship. http://marriedmansexlife.com/take-the-red-pill/alpha-and-beta-male-traits/
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/14 04:56 PM
1

Athol has some terrific posts for how to apply the red pill to a marriage or long term relationship. I think he linked most of them from this article.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/14 04:54 PM
0

it can work fine, though. as long as he and she have different ways of measuring 'better', and as long as he consistently establishes his value in her eyes, it can work. And establishing value is something every man should be doing all the time anyway, for himself. With a unicorn woman, it can actually be easier, as the man learns her specific turn ons and tells. (But don't get lazy, lads, gotta stay valuable to all women to keep reaping preselection benefits!) It's also worth mentioning that un…
/r/TheRedPill18/07/14 02:05 AM
1

What you should do is research. Learn everything there is to know about career options for people with your current level of education and experience. Pick the most lucrative option and dedicate yourself to accomplishing it.
/r/TheRedPill16/07/14 11:41 AM
5

It gets crazy because high value leads don't let people have a lot of influence over them. I would insert the word reactionary in there somewhere. People hate following reactionary leaders. But great leaders are also great listeners. Great leaders coordinate many people to accomplish many things that those people each wanted anyway, but all in a way those people didn't quite coordinate on their own. In return for this service, the leaders own goals are naturally prioritized and accomplished. Tl;…
/r/TheRedPill10/07/14 05:50 AM
5

For some encouraging context, I got engaged after graduating with $40,000 in student debt, and after we were married my wife's salary paid my student loans off. Some people would have called my starting posture poor, but I knew what my skills were worth, and I made sure she knew too. Tl;dr: You don't have to wait as long as you might think to start an LTR, if you've been applying the self improvement principles and know (and advertise) your game plan.
/r/TheRedPill10/07/14 05:39 AM
1

It's a black mark against a woman's character forever too. :)
/r/TheRedPill07/07/14 03:08 AM
2

It works well for either gender. It's no coincidence that people who know how to cook are often popular.
/r/TheRedPill07/07/14 01:32 AM
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