Progress Report.

Putting it out there. Sorry for the speed...I am short on time and have a lot to do today.

This is a process of time. Water doesn't wear rock over night. This report is probably 2 weeks in the making.

There's been no sex in 2 weeks. One week was shark week. Yet like I explained I don't think sex is 100% off the table. Pre-kids, BJs and HJs were on the table particularly during shark week. Of course a different approach in my case, is required based on denial. the following and my implementation has been A LOT of trial and error. YMMV. As the PUAs say though you have to get out there and keep at it....don't get butt hurt.

So two weeks solid, hard core rejections. I now employ all three of /u/bluepillprossfor "mean cards", withdraw time, affection, presence. I don't recommend you do this right out of the gate...again process of time AND experience. Yet I balance this with being happy, maintaining a strict regimented schedule for me AND the family. I found this key as well.

There have been several cracks in her facade during that last few weeks. Several times it was an offer to watch TV with her while I was on the other side of the room working (I don't have a den/office). No. I don't want to watch her chick shows. Then she just kept looking at me through the evening...no it wasn't her initiating because she said no later that night again. Next was a HJ offer during shark week that didn't happen. She's never offered. It didn't happen because she got wrapped up in her studies (she's a med student). Fine. I don't need to be around someone who doesn't want me. So I went for a coffee (alcohol is not in my fitness program right now). Read books or worked on my novel.

Two more cracks in her facade in one day...this Friday. I initiated twice in one day...sue me. I'm man. Both hard core rejections...even rejections on kissing. Once I left to run errands for 3 hours, another time I just left and drove around...I have an audio book I am listening to. I was at a good part. Good book. Check it out. THE TIGER by John vailiant

All day Saturday I maintained my schedule. I was home for like 2 hours. Returned home around 10pm. Then this morning. initiated again....rejected. Rolled out of bed. Got ready for the gym. I was downstairs when I heard her say something. I replied I have to go to the gym (we had things to do today and if sex wasn't happening I had to move on with other things before the schedule took over). Then she barked something more pissed off. No idea what so I go upstairs....it may have been important...I wanted to be sure.

She was naked and said that I can't jump her when she is waking up. 'I didn't know what I was saying. I was groggy (bullshit. She was clear in what she said her body language was clear as well). So let's go."

She's clearly not into it. But fuck it caveman it right? PLus I am going to push a couple things. I smacked her ass a couple times...something she has expressly refused. Not a peep this time BUT....now she starts trying to control everything by critiquing technique then says I hurt her.. It's possible. I was going pretty hard. So I slow then the shit tests start again. I stop. Flat out tell her to stop controlling me. "Sorry I hurt you, that was an accident but you have to stop controlling every thing."

NOTE: this isn't the first time I have just stopped and pulled out. It resulted on fairly good sex later on.

MRP says to just leave, but I see deep concern in her eyes....tears are ready to fall. I grab her, wrap her in my arms and hold her. I look at her, she refuses to look at me clearly trying to hold back tears.

"I love you."

She says I know...refusing to look at me. I tell her to. She does..her eyes are watery.

"Look I want to be with you. Otherwise I wouldn't be here." I don't want to embarrass her if she cries so I hold her close. I roll her over and spoon her. "We can try again tonight."

We fall asleep for another hour until I smack her ass awake so she can make it to her clinicals today.

. I have had a suspicion that my wife is holding back her "inner slut". MRP supports this. I mean I have seen it. Several times. I have come to the realization through my studying and watching her behavior that everytime we push our fetishes and sexual activities she suddenly shuts down. The last great sex we had was a year or two ago when we first started anal. And we did it every day for 3 weeks. She said and did some of the filthiest stuff I have ever heard her say and do....but then suddenly stopped. If I look back at the pattern it's there. Mix in what I know about her mom, her upbringing. MRP theory rings true.

My wife ins't denying sex, she's withdrawing...afraid of what will happen. That's my thought. While I am not going backwards on my desires she's trying. I'm not sure of the path forward other then I have the tools and I need to engage them carefully and effectively.

Thoughts? Criticisms?