OK I admit it, I lost a hell a lot of frame today but you know what? I feel happier for it.

Went on a date with a girl about a month ago who was giving me all the signals: the eye, touching her hair, ALWAYS initiating conversation etc etc. So she flakes our second date, ignores me for two weeks and finally messages me apologising and saying she was stupid so I finally lose frame and ask her what the fuck is going on (in a politer way) and to be honest. She actually doesn't want anything, just a "friendship" (i.e. nothing) but would be willing to "hang out" if there's no "misinterpreted actions" (coming from someone who's been sending me signals for the past how many months). She also mentioned that she'd forgotten all about me and the fact that she'd apologised or whatever.

I actually put off asking her out originally because my instincts were telling me she was just being too gregarious after witnessing her with other people but I went against my instincts (let that be a lesson to everyone here: trust your instincts) and of course, the inevitable happened and I'm left feeling like a total fucking idiot AGAIN.

One other thing, modern society has taught women that beggars CAN be choosers. This woman is 24, she lives with her parents, works a very shitty job, can't drive (repeatedly fails her test), has no friends (the only person who talks to her on facebook is her mother), everyone (except me apparently) thinks she's ugly (I'm not kidding, they really do), she's unfit and slightly overweight too. Whereas I can drive, have friends, am attractive (told by women I've slept with), keep fit, will start lifting again in new year, have a job and saved tons of money, am starting studying in the new year, finally have a career plan and a goal to work towards. I liked her because I genuinely thought she was different and she's very friendly. Let that be a lesson, ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT, even the ugly, loser-ish types.

This actually made me very depressed for the past few weeks because I hate the uncertainty of not knowing where I stand.

I am NEVER going to distrust my instincts again and I'm NEVER going to lose frame again. That's the last time I swear.

Things I've learnt:

If they're gregarious and make up to you every time they see you, it's not an indicator of interest;

If after several months of this, they fail to make contact with you, at least subtly outside of where they normally see you, they're not interested;

If they forget/lose your phone number and/or never ring you, it means they're not interested;

If they ignore you for weeks, it means they're not interested;

If you bump into them and they don't seem happy to see you, they're not interested;

Beggars can be, will be and ARE choosers in modern society. Don't think that because no one else wants her and because she's a 5/10 at best it means she's going to behave ANY differently from any of the other women out there.

Thanks for reading. I can start moving ahead with my life and stop this suicide horse-shit I've been thinking about lately.