So I (22, m, slost 35kg so far, 6'1 at 105kg, lifting good career etc) found TRP in February a week after I got dumped. Was gutted at the time and I can see what caused it all now so wanted to reflect on it and get some advice. I'm typing all of this out because I want to be ripped into, I want to change my headspace, I have good pre-close game/whatever you want to call it but as soon as I have that done I get clingy.

She (23) was a unicorn looking back at it, I was the 2nd guy she slept with, she had a good start in her career, was an 8 and had a good family and good relationships.

I met her at a friends quiet house warming party when another mutual friend brought some university friends, I was the only guy in the group and as such garnered a lot of attention, we made eye contact the whole time and I eventually chatted with her a bit and gave her my number.

We went on a casual lunch date the following friday and I dropped her home afterwards, we had a lot in common and hit off well. Later that night I was in some clubs with other friends and by chance we both ended up alone in town, so we met and and we started dancing in a few places. I escalated it when were chatting in a booth and just pulled her in for a kiss which she accepted (halfway through she took a forced breath, like when you jump into a cold lake), I assume it was excitement or something but it was cute. We danced and again I escalated by touching hips/ass, making out more etc. We both live at home so closing the deal wasn't an option, we got a taxi to hers where we said our goodnights and parted with a bit of tongue action. I walked home with a grin on my face.

The next time we met was a dinner date at a noodle place, it was a bit lackluster, I expected the food to be better but we had some wine and a good laugh, and got a good buzz on. We left and at this point she mentioned her house was empty for the night and me being me completely missed it. I dropped her at her place with a quick kiss and I left. Half way home I realized my mistake, turned around and went back. Knocked on her door and she opened it and instantly got stuck into it, I ended up staying the night.

The next day is when it gets bad. This is the shit I can't understand and what I need help with. She was the first sex I've had that wasn't drunk/high/one-night-stand/party setting. I got really attached and got ridiculous oneitis, like losing my virginity all over again or some shit, it was weird. In my oneitis I sent a relationship request through on facebook that apparently ended up being accepted even though she didn't do it herself, I came back to it having 40 odd likes, a dozen comments or so all from her friends/family about how cool it was etc. We were both working, we had a quick chat where she said she was surprised to see it and that she removed it and how she wasn't ready for a relationship and all that.

I know that this is where I fucked it up, but I want to figure out why my brain at the time made it seem like an okay thing to do, I can see now that it was fucking retarded but in the spare of the moment my brain was all fucky.

We didn't talk much for a few days and then we went to concert together and had a few drinks/danced and got touchy and kissy again, we didn't talk at all about what I did. Few days went past, another casual lunch picnic thing that was a bit boring and that was it. A few days after she said through FB we shouldn't see each other anymore, she wasn't sure she was ready for a relationship and that I was a great guy (ha) and all that. I cut my losses and went no contact and that was that.

So please, tear me a new one. Help me understand.