Beta Father

human_enquirer · 2016-07-08T16:48:40+00:00

I bring up RP logic at the dinner table since it's just my father and I. He has a desire to better himself but he has to be able to do that on his own time, literally because he still hasn't retired and gets up really early.

That said, I do my thing.. I share what I'm doing and he can do the same if he chooses. My father was getting really fat before my mother's death but afterwards he was able to focus on his own health. Nipped diabetes in bud before it grew into something more serious. It was funny, my mom suspected diabetes at one point but she understood that my father had a certain level of stubborness and wouldn't jump on addressing it until he thought it was necessary.

Certifiedfamilylaw · 2016-07-08T17:09:09+00:00

As sad as it may seem, most men don't have the desire to put in the work to change themselves. "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation" isn't famous for a reason.

Depending on the person, it could work. In my experience no one wants to be saved from their delusions

Eyes_Of_The_Dragon · 2016-07-08T17:15:24+00:00

You cannot save your dad. My dad is similar but he refuses to divorce my mom, so they will die miserable together.

I try to show him a better way but he thinks he is too old to change. He's in his 70s, so whatever.

Most people don't want to be saved, they need to come to the conclusion on their own.

drunkenmix123 · 2016-07-08T17:25:42+00:00

you can't save your dad. One day my mom was complaining about how dirty the house and she blamed it on my dad (who is a neat freak). My dad lost frame and begin screaming about how its not him.

Later on I told my dad about shit test and how he failed, he got really angry and didn't believe me, even though I provided multiple examples. I just said your lost. Now he is in a depression because my mom takes all his money and is constantly putting them in debt and when ever he vents to me. I ask what are you going to do it about ? he gets angry and yells about how I don't listen.

It's sad to so but you can't save your dad, he has to do it himself

PemBayliss · 2016-07-08T17:33:16+00:00

Love your father and honor him. By "honor" him, I mean don't talk shit to him to his face or behind his back. Beyond that, nothing further to be done. He is choosing what he thinks he wants for his life. Just know it doesn't have to be YOUR life.

You can't save him, but you can save yourself. Don't take his advice on much of anything, especially relationships.

trpthroway123 · 2016-07-08T17:47:16+00:00

Swallowing the red pill is akin to realizing you're a drug addict.

Even if everyone else around you sees it, even if they all encourage/force/demand you get help, it's all for nothing if the person doesn't realize it, if they don't want to change.

What do you do? Show your dad the truth through your life. Walk the RP path, reap the benefits, and when he asks, be straight with him.

Don't lecture. Don't preach. Don't teach. Just exist and hope he finally realizes just how great life can be when not stuck in the blue-pill induced fog.

Title	Beta Father
Author	WE724
Upvotes	3
Comments	8
Date	July 8, 2016 4:35 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4rvjpj/beta_father/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/beta-father.108082 https://theredarchive.com/post/108082

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