OK help me out here, men. I just found out through facebook that a chick I was banging is now pregnant. I hope I didn't fuck up.

here's a quick run through of the details I can put together based on old text messages:

(0 days ago) Present day: 7th of June. She says she's "21 weeks pregnant" - I don't know if this is her estimate or a doctors.

  • Rewind: (170 days ago) (24.3 weeks) 20th December: Last time we had unwrapped sex

  • (169 days ago) She had a medical emergency and went to hospital for about a few days

  • (164 days ago) Her other ex picked her up from hospital and took her home (to his house, hundreds of miles away. Weird I know.)

  • (152 days ago) She was still living with the other ex, but not on good terms, a lot of fighting and crying from her apparently. They may have been having sex.

  • (147 days ago) 11 January 2017 - 21 weeks prior to today. If she was really knocked up 21 weeks ago, it's around this date.

  • (137 days ago) Still living with the ex - now boyfriend again.

  • (0 days ago) Back to present day. I have not seen her since she was in hospital.

So for everybody's sake I'd like to think that the baby belongs to the other guy, but the window of uncertainty is still there. What I need to know is if the 21 weeks is her guessing or an official number given to her by a doctor. She said in her facebook post that she's "just beginning to show" her baby bump. From what I understand, 21 weeks is not abnormal to see a bump, but with her body figure there is a chance that she's actually a little bit further on. If she's 3 weeks further than she assumes, I could be the father.

How should I frame the conversation, is what I need to know. Should I begin with a congratulations? How do I bring up my concerns. "Is it definitely [the other guy]'s?" Sounds weak. I want to get her to confirm to me that it's not mine, without planting the idea in her head that it could be. How do I do that?

If it is mine, How do I go about Convincing her to abort? I wont act as a father to this kid. I want to approach the problem with the angle of "Wouldn't you rather have another baby with your real boyfriend and let the baby have real natural parents?" - lets hope it doesn't come to that, but what other angles could I use?

If she isn't sure that it's not mine, I definitely won't be have the entire conversation about our decision over the phone. So I'll need to gear up with ammunition to be prepared for what she might say.

Thanks lads for any advice (other than wrap it up next time).

Update: At this stage I will not be taking any action. Oh universe, please let this one slide. 🙏