Redpill has destroyed me

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-04-15T04:06:27+00:00

You: "Why do my eyes hurt?"

TRP: "Because you've never used them before."

Metalgear222 · 2018-04-14T23:52:13+00:00

ah yes, the good ol, "read everything but didn't do anything with it."

there's much work to be done. ur not approaching, ur not being social. lift harder and become more attractive. u keep waiting for girls to like u for u to accept yourself. what the fuck is that? it doesn't work like that. u have to accept yourself first so u have the confidence to pull girls.

right now you hate yourself. good. fucking use that and monk harder. dig urself yourself out of that hole, no matter how deep.

No more feels rants, time to get shit done.
time to hone in on nutrition and better workout regimen.
time to not allow yourself to go home until you've been rejected by at least 3 girls.
start believing ur the prize, ur a man with the knowledge and capability of being girls favorite guy. so long as u TAKE ACTION.
so much weakness, so much self-doubt. screams low SMV. which is ur root problem. want a solution? raise your SMV 3 times what it is now by any means necessary.

Thethrowawayoption · 2018-04-15T01:50:17+00:00

When I first got a copy of the game Starcraft (the original back in the day), I played the single player campaign and loved it. Then I played some games against the computer and enjoyed winning that. I loved building a base and doing research to get upgrades and finding ways to win without a single lost unit. I felt like I had gotten pretty good.

Then I found out that my friends played it too, so we had a big vs game between all of us and I got fucking destroyed. They completely owned me no matter how hard I tried. Turns out that the way I liked to play wasn't a way to be successful. You can't win with only one command center slowly researching things one at a time before building very many units. It doesn't work. Another player who builds multiple of the same building and gets a bunch of units quickly will own you every time.

Once I realized that, I was able to bring my skill up by forcing myself to continuously do what it takes to win until I became comfortable there. Reality dictates what is viable, and to be successful you must choose a viable strategy.

You're clinging to a strategy that isn't a winning strategy because you like the idea of it and you're comfortable there. Just like I was in that game. It's extra hard because you're smart, and you're used to your internally devised strategies being correct. You don't have enough experience for your intelligence to make a viable strategy yet. You need to pick a strategy that actually works and learn to love the results, not the strategy. Then practice it as much as possible until you are comfortable with it.

I'm also extremely limited with my opportunities to meet women.

No, you're just too chicken to meet them outside of through familiar methods like friends and classes. You can talk to girls anywhere you see them. If you don't see them, you can go somewhere else. Keep going to new, different places until you see one, then talk to her.

I cannot, no matter what I do, get rid of the notion of "love" that's been created in my head since birth. I continuously want to be with someone I can lose myself with, someone who is as in love with me as I am with them, someone who is NOT hypergamous, even though I know for a fact that what I want is impossible and does not exist.

A lot of the stuff here is focused on spinning lots of plates. If you want that monogamous LTR instead, that's fine. But the problem you're having is that you're ignoring the rules that reality dictates in terms of viable strategy when you imagine how a successful monogamous relationship works. You're "trying to be in love" instead of doing what it takes to have a relationship.

One of the reasons that aiming to fuck lots of girls is highly encouraged here is that it teaches you how to operate within the rules of reality. You can't fuck a lot until you've learned a strategy that works on some level, and doing it a lot helps you internalize how the world works. It gives you experience which is the only thing that will let you realign your internal ideas on strategy so that they line up with what is viable in reality. Then when you do choose one girl for that LTR, you can do it within the limits of what's viable as a strategy.

Psychocist · 2018-04-15T04:26:12+00:00

The only difference now is that not only do I not get the results but I know why I'm not reaching them in the first place

Well, at least be thankful you know why. That's progress. As Metalgear touched on, one of the reasons you now feel shit is because you know why, and you are not living up to your new standards. There is no way to avoid the work.

Moral of the story: I cannot, no matter what I do, get rid of the notion of "love" that's been created in my head since birth. I continuously want to be with someone I can lose myself with, someone who is as in love with me as I am with them, someone who is NOT hypergamous, even though I know for a fact that what I want is impossible and does not exist.

..but why? You really have to dig into yourself to understand just why you want this person in your life. It is very likely due to needing someone to emotionally depend on because you can't depend on yourself. It is also likely due to fear of loneliness, fear of going through life alone. But once you have accepted these things and truly digested the facts of life, that you are alone and cannot depend on anybody else, then you will enter a very healthy place where YOU and you alone are in control of your state of mind.

Honestly man you really have to pay attention with the relationship with yourself before you introduce another person into your life. I came to Thailand 6 months ago and have barely left my apartment. I'm building a software business and grafting away, doing some freelancing on the side. But I've purposely not surrounded myself with tonnes of people because of the priceless opportunity extended solitude has granted me - I am in my own company 90% of the time and if I don't feel good I have nobody but myself to blame. My self-talk, self-image, every way I relate to myself has improved a hundred-fold in the last 6 months because I've not run away from the loneliness or the emotional lack.

Stop trying to fill in the gaps with some fairytale ideal that you think will be the end of your problems. You have one problem: external dependence. Once you've overcome that you have no more problems.

Knowing everything I know makes me depressed. - I vehemently oppose any action toward's me that tries to confirm beta status (i.e LJBF rejections and shit-tests). I never allow myself to act how a beta would in the context of relationships (and I don't). Thanks to what I know about RP I can catch those things from happening before they have a chance to occur. - In the context of myself it's the opposite. I feel so broken and so lonely that I try to cling on to any hope of feeling normal again.

Yeh, it sucks losing your religion. That's life. Go read Meditations by Marcus. Go do some reading on the terrible state of life for the majority of the planet. You are spoiled with opportunity and you have to learn to be grateful for what you have, that you are not starving on the plains of Africa while flies eat mould from your decaying skin. Honestly. Who gives a fuck if you're rejected your entire life?

Your problem is, again, external dependence. You are looking outside of yourself to answer your problems. You are looking to women or other men to make conclusions on your worth. Which is natural - we say SMV (value) - and you most definitely have varying degrees of value to different potential sexual mates. But the biggest problem here is tying your self-worth, your own conclusion of your value to your SMV. That is a grave mistake. You have a lot of control over your SMV but you will still grow old and wrinkly and everything will sag and you will eventually be completely physically unattractive in every conceivable way. It does not make sense to emotionally invest in such a faulty, changeable measure of worth.

On top of that, because you're a man, you are valued by society based on your functional worth - what you do. For your own peace of mind, do what you can to completely divorce your sense of self-worth from the SMP AND from society in general. When you think about yourself, start to place your own opinion above everybody else's. It will feel arrogant at first, but you'll quickly start to understand that it is the only way to stay sane. The alternative is to be thrown around by other people's opinions.

Someone could come here now and say this post is just droning on and it needs tightening up or it's shit advice.. but no matter what anyone says, no matter how personal it is, it no longer affects me because I don't value other people's opinions of me or my behaviour. I have to consciously decide to listen. Whereas in the past I unconsciously valued everyone else's opinion above my own and had to painfully, consciously not listen. I really hope you can see the power of this transition and do whatever you can to make the jump.

As I say, once you've overcome that hurdle, there are no more problems - you can live your life as you please. Pussy will always be there. Not everyone will like you. You know how to attract women, you know how to build SMV. But, honestly, women are not even nearly worth the effort. Put that effort into building personal freedom: free time.

Deep_freeze202 · 2018-04-14T22:55:33+00:00

You can have the loving relationship you just have to do it under a redpill frame or it will fall apart. Don't be too hard on yourself breaking a lifetime of conditioning isn't easy and it might take years to get where you want to be. Try to remember what you've learned and impliment it, every failure is a step closer to success.

stinszon · 2018-04-14T22:48:32+00:00

Something I learned the hard way, in any situation, you have 3 choices: - Accept. - Refuse. - Do something about it.

Choose wisely.

atlas87 · 2018-04-15T15:51:16+00:00

RP and pickup stuff can poison your soul if you only see the transactional nature of all relationships. Just because AWALT, doesn’t mean that they aren’t human. It is precisely because of their humanity that they are “like that”. You can focus on the irrational, hypergamous, and duplicitous side of that humanity, and you will go insane because you realize you can’t control it. You come to hate women because they are capable of harming you. The truth is, men are equally capable of harm, and all humans are capable of evil.

It seems much more productive to me to focus on what you can control (yourself) and building that to the point that a woman is highly unlikely to branch swing because you bring so much value to her life, which compounds over time with shared experiences and children. You become an investment in her life that is too big to fail, which goes a long way in preventing hypergamy.

You sound like you’re coming from a deep scarcity and insecurity which causes you to lash out and scare these girls off with your need to possess them. Not like possessed by a strong and competent male, but Gollum and the ring sort of possession. TRP is valuable for people that are stuck in the Disney princess view of women, and need a shock to their system.

You have retained that Disney ideal of the unicorn, but are now only capable of seeing the nefarious side of a woman’s nature. What you need to realize is that there is no finality to anything in life. There is no perfect woman, and you will never be perfect yourself. Work on getting your head right and everything else in your life on an upward trajectory, find a woman without red flags that you think will make a good partner, continue to work on yourself and see if she grows with you. Maybe it will work, maybe not, but that’s roughly the formula.

Note: I only skimmed your post so I may have missed some details, but feel I got the overall gist.

cloudmeister · 2018-04-16T06:51:25+00:00

I was going to reply to all of you as you all made some excellent points but I just upvoted instead. I do however want to specifically mention a few.

I feel like you guys pulled my soul out of me, spoke to it, and then told me what it said. I quoted the specific parts that really stood out to me but the entire content of what most of you posted is relatable. I will be revisiting all your replies on a daily basis and use them for self improvement. Thank you to all.

/u/psychocist

Your problem is, again, external dependence. You are looking outside of yourself to answer your problems. You are looking to women or other men to make conclusions on your worth. Which is natural - we say SMV (value) - and you most definitely have varying degrees of value to different potential sexual mates. But the biggest problem here is tying your self-worth, your own conclusion of your value to your SMV. That is a grave mistake. You have a lot of control over your SMV but you will still grow old and wrinkly and everything will sag and you will eventually be completely physically unattractive in every conceivable way. It does not make sense to emotionally invest in such a faulty, changeable measure of worth.

/u/thethrowawayoption

You're clinging to a strategy that isn't a winning strategy because you like the idea of it and you're comfortable there. Just like I was in that game. It's extra hard because you're smart, and you're used to your internally devised strategies being correct. You don't have enough experience for your intelligence to make a viable strategy yet. You need to pick a strategy that actually works and learn to love the results, not the strategy. Then practice it as much as possible until you are comfortable with it.

And /u/atlas87 I was able to relate to pretty much your entire post.

Also /u/metalgear222 I reached out to one of my classmates who is a gym rat and built like a machine. Turns out he does not live too far from me so we will be working out together over summer (3 months) on a consistent routine. He is as excited about it as I am so I am looking forward to it.

Rollo_Mayhem3 · 2018-04-15T01:19:42+00:00

your notion of wanting love has nothing to do with it...your definition of love is the problem. Sounds like u still hold on to the BP notion of love...you're still weak and needy. Are you developing a rotation of at least 3 plates of girls you only want to fuck? Try to do that for 3 months and see...

Title	Redpill has destroyed me
Author	cloudmeister
Upvotes	10
Comments	16
Date	April 14, 2018 10:43 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8cb3gz/redpill_has_destroyed_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/redpill-has-destroyed-me.127994 https://theredarchive.com/post/127994

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