So this is a question that I've been wrestling with for a few days now. Not sure if it qualifies for asktrp but I figured this was the best place to ask.

LTR and I broke up back in December due to various issues. Mostly me losing frame, her losing attraction, the usual bullshit. This girl was as good as they come though. Well mannered, reserved, submissive, very feminine. I'll be the first to admit that I failed the shit tests when they started, and she gave me many many tries to redeem myself.

Anyway since then I've been doing a lot of self improvement and soul searching. I started seeing a therapist and really analyzing the cause of my irritability and weak frame. I've had a porn addiction since 12 years old, and we determined that said addiction is a major cause of my irritability and losing my cool so frequently. What I mean by this is that I was basically the girl in that relationship. I let the shame affect me in a way that caused me to lash out against her. I'm now taking steps to fix this and become the man I know I can be.

Thing is, along the way I've been feeling MAJOR shame and remorse about this. That its my fault that things escalated as high as they did because I let my weakness get the best of me. The shame of the addiction caused me to project my insecurities on her, when I really had no reason to. There weren't any power plays or manipulation games played by her. There were shit tests sure, but I'm guessing that was to see if I was still the same confident guy I was when we started dating.

Anyway, my question is - should I apologize? I know we say to live unapologetically, but in this case, I truly feel horrible about how I treated her, and I realize a lot of the things she did that I blamed her for were just in retaliation to this behavior. I'm having a tough time moving past it just because of the guilt.

Or I could be completely wrong. That's why I'm asking on here before opening up that can of worms. Everyone is probably gonna tear me a new asshole for even thinking this, but I appreciate the feedback regardless.