Ghosted after a successful hookup. Insight?

Store_Front_Door · 2018-06-27T14:42:51+00:00

To be fair there's a million of possible reasons- she's on another dick, and will reach out to you once shest done, some personal problems, she figured she doesn't want to continue this with you, she's dead. The important thing is-, you shouldn't give a fuck, that's why abundance is very important. Get more girls into the rotation, this one might or might not reach out in the future, but by then, you won't care anymore.

boy_named_su · 2018-06-27T16:06:43+00:00

Successful hookup

No sex

Okay...

Chad1738 · 2018-06-27T15:40:23+00:00

You didn’t have sex. End of story. It’s a tinder hoe. The only way to keep them around as longer term plates is to fuck them good as quickly as possible and you hamstered away and didn’t pull the trigger. Next.

RedSkeller · 2018-06-27T15:25:39+00:00

Hey I'm 31 and I'll be your guide to modern dating - it's a shit show. Any sub 25 year old you meet off tinder likely has the attention span of goldfish and the anxiety of a battered shelter kitten. Tinder itself is a pretty miserable existence if you're looking at it other than a one night stand for one or two times before you ghost or get ghosted. I don't think any amount of social media or texting could've fixed what happened - she wanted dick and you should've closed right then and there. She wanted a man (hence why she chose to meet up with the 31 year old and not the 24 year old). Typically they will reach out in less than 24 if they want a repeat. Cue the comment 'try Bumble' but really, it is a slightly better crowd. Best option is to meet people through hobbies or social circles.

lovethebottoms · 2018-06-27T14:55:16+00:00

"As she’s leaving she says she wants to do this again."

Would have waited till she reached out , or if she didn't , a "Hello" 1 week later and see if she replies. Tell her you're free on x and we can meet up/come over.

Now I'd wait to see if she replies , but small chances. So I'd suggest meeting/plating other women. This one is pretty lost.

Also ,

"Whatever I didn’t push because it was going well I was setting up for a longer term plate situation. "

Long term plates usually fuck on first date from my experience , either she wasn't attracted enough or you signaled some beta shit.

bluefingerblue · 2018-06-27T14:41:00+00:00

What night of the week was the first date?

MrBowlfish · 2018-06-27T15:27:20+00:00

It's like fishing. Some fall off the line. Just keep casting that line. Don't overthink the shit. It's not really a special sequence of triggers you have to pull. You can do EVERYTHING right and still fail so really, don't take it to heart. Keep on fishing. I would say though, next time, don't text saying you "want" to see her again. Inject more dgaf and humor if you can. Make sure you speak to these girls with the confidence of a man who regularly deals with the hottest of hot women. It's about the "frame" not the exact words you use, though I like to say things like "Come -blank- with me". and not some needy bullshit like "I want to see you." She's just sitting there thinking "Yeah, you and 12 other Chad's."

thr33fayce · 2018-06-27T16:56:46+00:00

Maybe she didn’t consider it a successful hookup.

BPasFuck · 2018-06-27T17:30:02+00:00

"I want to do this again," was a lie.

Some women say shit like that all the time, and never really mean it.

As the other guys have mentioned, she probably wanted you to fuck the shit out of her, and was only putting up token resistance for the purposes of appearances.

However, in this day and age, I wouldn't blame a guy for being cautious. You're going to have to push it, though, in order to get an accurate calibration on this sort of thing.

TheIcePill · 2018-06-27T17:35:13+00:00

Girl from Tinder. Red flag.

Dinner, who paid for it? Tinder girls usually look for older guys just to have a free dinner.

She didn't reply means she found another alpha dude on Tinder already, Next.

[deleted] · 2018-06-27T19:21:38+00:00

She has a boyfriend.

zboo1h · 2018-06-27T19:43:45+00:00

"successful hookup" means sex.

You won't ever know why this happened but honestly you need to know that it doesn't fucking matter.

My feelings on the subject are that you should have pushed, been more aggressive. If you then encountered heavy resistance, whatever, get her outta there, Next. But in my experience women (especially working from a 10-year age gap) want you to take full control and get uncomfortable when you don't.

Ultimately, it doesn't fucking matter. Go get another one. They're cheap and easy.

MattyAnon · 2018-06-27T21:42:09+00:00

Whatever I didn’t push because it was going well I was setting up for a longer term plate situation

Tricky... if you don't push, she won't feel excitement.

There are no savegames. But first date sex isn't a good plan for a FWB situation.

One solution: push hard for sex, then tease her when you get that far and refuse to follow through. Takes a lot of willpower ;)

But fundamentally: one day, one girl. They're random. Don't take it personally, it's just how they are.

Is this pretty common with younger tinder girls?

It's pretty common with all women.

? Should I have waited even longer before reaching out? Should I have played the Snapchat game before looking for more plans? Ect. My bros are telling me to be happy I pulled a 22 year old at all at my age, but I’m not satisfied with almost.

Keep going, you'll get better but fundamentally this is just the nature of the beast. SMV is king, the rest is details. Waiting 3 hours rather than 3.5 before texting? Doesn't make much difference so long as you're hot and non-needy.

The fact that you have no other options as good kinda proves her right and I suspect she sensed this. They also sense when you have good/better options and respond more - so this is your solution.

Title	Ghosted after a successful hookup. Insight?
Author	Fossil54
Upvotes	6
Comments	25
Date	June 27, 2018 2:39 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8ua4wj/ghosted_after_a_successful_hookup_insight/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ghosted-after-a-successful-hookup-insight.101238 https://theredarchive.com/post/101238

Comments