I’ve had trp knowledge for quite some time now. Before trp I was in a ltr. I was engaged. Our total time together was 7 years. Out of the blue yesterday she texted me and told me she doesn’t love me anymore.

I felt stabbed in the heart. She gave no real explanation to me. I was blindsided by this. Awalt.

I was most surprised bc- I have a good job with plenty of potential for growth, I’m 10% body fat and workout almost every single day, I’m well above average (iq wise) and looks wise. Believe it or not, don’t care; just stating facts.

When we first got into relationship fucked all the time. She sucked me off all the time. Any time I asked. Towards the end, not so much. Still blow jobs every time we fucked but reluctant to fuck bc of pain, I have above average penis size. Despite her never wanting to fuck me, when we did fuck, she had an average of 20 body convulsing orgasms every single time. I’m not exaggerating. Again, you don’t have to believe me bc I have no reason to lie.

Aside from all of this, I was NOT perfect, I was NOT full alpha. I was addicted to drugs for quite some time. I hid it from her for a few years and she caught me. I struggled to quit for another year and finally did it but by then she was fed up.

She detached from me emotionally but my blue pulled self was head over heals in love with her. I almost killed myself trying to become the best man I could so that she wouldn’t leave me and that she would fuck me. It still didn’t work.

She told me “I just need some time.” I said I don’t do breaks. She didn’t budge and insisted we break up. I couldn’t figure out why. I was crying like a bitch, in a room by myself, for hours. I was devastated.

I decided to take the pill. I looked at her Instagram. It was full of slutty pictures with slutty captions. Mostly, honestly lesbian captions, all suggestive of cheating. Although it was with a girl, allegedly, cheating is cheating. On this Instagram was no indication that she was with me. I could go on more about this but it’s embarassing.

After I found that news, I didn’t feel sad anymore. All of the sudden I almost felt better. Because I’m glad to get rid of a slut than to have married one.

After that I was able to sleep like a rock for what little of the night was left until I had to wake for work.

So I decided to make a tender and all that shit. I have nothing to lose in that aspect and don’t give a fuck rn. I have an abundance mentality. Everything I do on this shit is low investment.

I set up my first date for Saturday. It’s the first day I have available. The woman has a fuckin banging body. Waist is snatched. I’m excited for this one.

I’m not really sure where I could bring her to fuck. I’m kinda thinking an airbnb but it’s been so long since I’ve fucked, like this, that idk if that’s acceptable in the sense that it may activate her asd. But idk. Idgaf. After all of this shit, I finally feel free.