I'm in an LTR of 5 years. Got introduced to TRP about a month ago and have read up on the foundational literature.

So I'm busy with dread level 1 right now and trying to build proper frame (something I'm finding very tough after a whole life of Beta).

My GF tends to get cranky and annoyed and bitchy quite easily especially after a long day at work. When in this mood she's usually not too far from crying and being very emotional and confrontational if things get a bit too much for her.

In trying to build frame, I've been trying to let her outbursts and snide comments not bother me. When she yells, I reply in a polite tone as if not even noticing her clear rudeness. When she makes a mean comment or criticizes me, I default to "meh, whatevs" mode as if completely unbothered. I'm not perfect and do fail at times, but I try.

This response, suffice to say, drives her nuts.

Now I need some help from you bros with more experience than newly enlightened me.

When she does these things and gets this way, do I continue doing what I do because she's clearly in the world of "muh feelz"? I mean, her feelings are hers and not something I can do anything about. If there's an actual situation or element I can tackle and try to change in order to make her happier, then sure I'll do that. But if it's just her venting after work and completely un-instigated feelings that I have no control over, it's her problem she needs to deal with.

Or...

Is she looking for actual comfort and support that I should be able to provide as the man in the relationship? I don't mean being Beta and buying her roses. More like she needs a rock and I'm failing to be that rock?

I've been looking into Stoicism and I've been trying to build a frame that's rock solid, but it's something I genuinely do struggle with.

Maybe my frame is too weak and I'm not being man enough?

I dunno. I'd really like some advice from you awesome folks here.

Thanks!