English as a second language problem

mhrdth · 2012-10-21T01:35:00+00:00

So if the other person is the shy or quiet type, the convo dies out fast.

That's okay, that happens to us native speakers, too. Some girls are just not confident enough to make the most of certain opportunities.

It's really interesting to read this post, as I've been chatting up people who speak English as a second language lately. Sometimes what I say just doesn't have the power it normally does, if they're not good at reading into the nuances and implications.

Do you think you can contribute some understandings from your perspective about how to best reach someone who is not a native speaker?

Antonton · 2012-10-21T07:28:10+00:00

I'm bilingual in English and Spanish. English is my native language, but I'm way more comfortable talking to people, letting my personality come out, and being more upfront and direct in Spanish than in English.

You just have to completely immerse yourself the language until it becomes an asset instead of a hindrance. The more you do it, the more comfortable you will become in speaking. You seem to have a good control over it already, so keep practicing.

Do everything you can in English, and pay a lot of attention to how native people speak. Listening is the key; never be satisfied with what you have achieved, and make a goal to speak so well that you get mistaken for a native speaker.

For me it's a lot easier to divorce myself from my fear, anxiety, and nervousness in Spanish for the very reason that it's not my native tongue. There's probably some psychological explanation for it like I don't have an emotional connection to Spanish, or whatever.

Good luck. It's hard and all dependent on your time investment, but it's doable. Also, don't worry about making mistakes. That's how you learn. You can turn that into a conversation point, especially if someone uses a colloquialism that you find a bit strange or something.

mhrdth · 2012-10-21T08:08:29+00:00

Well, it's cool to read about someone else with the same problem I have. I'm a native English speaker, but I live abroad and always find it difficult to talk to girls. I can communicate fine - people tell me I'm fluent. But, I lack the same flexibility I have with English. Also, I often don't understand slang and people who don't anunciate.

datforeigndude · 2012-10-23T03:49:59+00:00

I'm on the boat as you are, recently moved to USA and English is my 2nd language. You can actually turn it to your advantage, girls LOVE accent. I never had issues with ladies, you just need to be bold and do not apologize if you do grammer mistakes. Hell it's even better since they find it "cute".

Title	English as a second language problem
Author	mhrdth
Upvotes	8
Comments	11
Date	October 20, 2012 11:32 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/11tiw1/english_as_a_second_language_problem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/english-as-a-second-language-problem.1341411 https://theredarchive.com/post/1341411

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