Hi seddit. I want to share a dating story with you that I invite you to comment on. I do this to get it off my chest, to give you something to read and to reflect on what happened and what I need to improve and how. Quick info on myself: Newbie, probably still pretty AFC (only 1 f-close so far). Ex nice guy, used to be very low confidence. Nowadays I feel very good about myself. I'm smart, fairly hard working/busy, I'm good looking, well groomed, tall but need to work out more and get in shape. I'm still having motivation- and consistency-problems in all areas of my life though.

I got the # from that HB7 on the bus home last week. I only saw her for a bit but I thought she was pretty good looking and we had some fun text conversations over the past week. The text game I ran was pretty good. Replying slowly, talking a lot of nonsense, nothing personal yet. When initiating convo (once a day max, I had other stuff to do and wanted to communicate that) I did it via fun meaningless topics or scenarios, like 'Hey I wanted to rob that bank and I felt like you could be of use as a complice' and following that up with a 'We get a convertible and sunglasses and drive south with bags of money in the trunk'. Super fun stuff, you guys should try that for sure ;) I ended up finding out that she is 29 (I'm 21), but that didn't turn me off. I wouldn't mind having something going on with a grown up woman instead of girly 18 year olds. If anything, she was a bit insecure about her age.

Anyways, I am pretty certain that I built some decent attraction via text, and I brought up meeting up together with a concrete idea for a date right away. Until here, I did well.

So we met up spontaneously today for the date I had planned (art gallery). Fun was had, looking at paintings, getting to know each others taste in art, conversation about other things while traversing the halls. I made some not-so-subtle sexual jokes and she constantly gave me some IOIs (eye-contact, light punching) and wasn't afraid of physical contact. Yeah, and that's pretty much as far as I got. Some touching, some light short hugs, pointing at stuff in the pictures over her shoulder etc.. We moved to a cafe to get some food and drinks. Our seats were kind of comfortable but not perfect: limited space, couldn't really lean back or in to each other. We continued good and fun conversation, but it was pretty much normal topics. Tastes in music and other stuff, family, annoying stuff, blahblah. I made her laugh all the time and we clicked pretty well, which was fun for both of us.

But no escalation! I realized while I was sitting there that I need to steer the convo into a more personal/sexual way so I ran the cube on her, but it was the first time I did it and afterwards we went back to the previous topics. Afterwards we got out and were both tired, so we pretty much automatically went towards the station where we both would get our trains. I didn't even kiss her goodbye so I positioned myself more as a friend than as a sexual partner. Another factor that went into the lack of escalation is that I don't feel a strong sexual drive in the recent weeks. I'm not even that motivated to kiss a girl that's not a 9 or 10 and I don't feel the need to fuck. A consistent no fap streak should help with that, so I'm starting one today, no excuses.

I think I still have a shot at her on a second date but that will be the last possibility. What are your suggestions, seddit? I'm having trouble escalating kino towards more than just light touching, i.e. kissing, walking hand in hand or arm in arm. I feel unsure about my own intentions, because I enjoy conversation a lot but I don't have a clear (sexual) goal in front of me.

What I noticed I definitely need to work on:

  • Know the city better to lead her to places (the cafe was far from perfect to sit and chill in and we found out it was a gay bar… lol)

  • Don't fap to get some sexual motivation going