playing a character

Fate-in-haze · 2025-01-15T02:50:57+00:00

Here is a reframe for you, don't think of it as playing a character, think of it as growing as a person and developing positive attractive traits you want to add to your personality.

Shieldless_One · 2025-01-15T02:40:24+00:00

Fake it till you make it. If you want to cultivate certain traits you need to be those traits and practice them even when it doesn’t matter for example with people you dont care about, alone etc.

StrikingImportance39 · 2025-01-15T05:12:27+00:00

A lot of bad advices.

If u feel like playing character. U feel like an actor in a movie. Then u are doing things wrong.

The problem with that approach is that u have created that character from scratch. U moulded it based on the things u read, or think u have to do in order to get numbers. But there is no YOU in there. It’s all fake.

What u need to do is to reverse back. Be that nice guy as u are saying.

In fact try write it down all the things u currently are. Describe who u are. What are your values and beliefs.

This will be your baseline. Basically, in any RPG game u never start from scratch u can choose your race. And that race has some baseline stats.

And once u have baseline then u start changing things. Let me give two examples from my own experience.

I am a nice guy as well. So, often I smile during interaction with a woman. It was part of my baseline. But during self reflection base on field reports I realised that smile was not sincere. It came from my need do get approval. Why? Because my other skills were poor. So I used my smile as compensation mechanism to get a number. Obviously this is weak. The smile stem from my need to get approval from people. So what I did, I removed that trait from my baseline. And now, I always try to smile less or don’t even smile at all. It’s sounds crazy, but I do get better results.

Another example. As a nice guy I like to pay for my first date. I read in books, and I have been advised by community that this bad thing to do. And I tried that. I stopped paying. However, it felt wrong. My baseline didn’t agree with me this time. With more self reflection I realised that I pay for the date not to get approval. I pay because based on my values this is the right thing to do. And it does not matter if I never see her, or I don’t like her. I just like to pay. I like to be in control. I like to have money. I worked hard to be that person who can pay for the date. It makes me feel good about myself. So I rejected the idea of splitting bills.

As u can see I had two traits as a nice guy.

Smile
Pay for date

I got rid of first trait because it stemmed from my need of approval. I kept second trait because it aligned with my values.

The interesting thing that if u, yourself take same traits you may do the opposite. And that’s totally fine. Maybe u smile because u are happy, and maybe u pay because u expect something in return.

And that’s the correct way of playing inner game. A saying fake it till u make it only applies to some degree.

So, start by being yourself even if not perfect and then adjust your beliefs , and actions based on field reports and your values.

Title	playing a character
Author	Financial_Fennel_657
Upvotes	1
Comments	7
Date	January 15, 2025 2:32 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1i1nfro/playing_a_character/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/playing-a-character.1541253 https://theredarchive.com/post/1541253

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