Pre-Set Fluff

If there's anything I've felt like this sub needed more of, it's people posting actual field reports from actual nights with actual successes and sticking points broken down. I guess this will be something I try to do more of in the coming year.

On Fridays I like to make a quick stop at a gay club in the near-downtown district (YMMV but as far as I'm concerned, gay venues are an under utilized, unbelievably fun venue option.) It's fun to drop by because 1) Everyone is friendly and easy to talk to 2) Getting hit on does things to your state that'll make you feel like Barney Stinson and 3) The bartender is a badass and slips me freebies. This place has free entry before 11 so I drop in, grab a few drinks and, as everyone says, talk to everyone. I get my return stamp for later in the night and head to my standard venues.

At my usual venue I focus on getting approaches and working myself into state. Made out with one girl who had probably been drinking a lot so I didn't consider it particularly noteworthy. I bounced around to my favorite venues as I started feeling tired of the one I was at and opened sets along the way, by near end of the night I had accrued 3 number closes which I knew from experience have a low probability of actually going anywhere... but more importantly I was feeling extremely on point. It was almost 2 so I moved back to the gay club, which is open until 4 every night, the perfect way to extend a good evening.

Upon arriving I rejoin with some friends from earlier in the night and head to the smoking courtyard to look around for a good set. I know that at this point in the evening there's no use going for rapport building and number closing, it's all about escalation. I'm discussing hitting on girls with one of the people I met and point out a cute blond with a guy.

Me: Not a lot of girls out here tonight. She's cute.

Him: Go for it, that guy is totally gay.

Me: This is your professional opinion?

Him: Definitely gay.

The Actual Set

I elect to make sure her friend likes me, so I walk up and complement his earrings, of which he has many.

Me: Love the earring...

Him: Hey... hey man I'm not gay

[Seems my buddy needs to improve his gaydar. In any event this guy is not projecting confidence and seems thrown off by light flirtation, let's see where this goes.]

Me (to girl): Listen I'd feel badly if I was interrupting your date or anything... but you look cute as hell and I decided I had to talk to you.

[Direct but non-aggressive approaches are pretty effective in an environment where girls don't know if you're even into their gender, normally this would be a terrible night-game opener.]

Her: Oh you're not interrupting, thanks! I'm...

[A little fluff talk here, she's clearly not interested in the other guy so I square him out a little more with each exchange]

Me: Well why don't you come hang out with my friends.

We get back by my friends' table but never actually sit down. I talk to her for a little and then go for a number close (I know, I told myself I wouldn't do this.) I get the number and then tell her "you know I may not see you again tonight" and go for the makeout. We kiss for a bit and then part. At this point I pulled a pretty cool open and k-close maneuver but have effectively dropped the ball, it's something I need to work on.

Inside 20 minutes later though, I see her walking by, I reach out and grab her hand and ask her what she's doing. She says that she's looking for her friends. I tell her that's fine "I just want to make out with you under that staircase for the next 5 minutes." She's down for this turn of events. We start making out. Hard. I'm loving the vibe so I go for the pull.

Me: You know, I'm totally taking you home with me tonight

Her: I can't... I live in [city 40 minutes away]

Me: I'm closer.

Her: Yeah but my friends came with me I have to drive them home.

[more gratuitous heterosexual display in the gay club]

Me: You'll definitely find your friends by the end of the night, let's just step outside the club for a bit and come back in.

Her: [don't remember bit she turned the offer down]

We proceed to the courtyard again and talk for a bit. She's actually cool as hell so I'm enjoying this and we're still making out and escalating things physically. She tells me she doesn't want to fuck me tonight because she actually really likes me. I ask her if she's worried she'll never see me again if that happens. She is. I tell her there's nothing I can do to convince otherwise but I'm having a good time with her. (I really don't know if this was the best or even a good response. It's definitely how I felt at the time.)

We go inside and head to the dance floor where things get very animalistic. She's rubbing all over me and things are getting pretty hot and heavy. I note that she is not wearing underwear. I turn her around and whisper dirty shit in her ear. She asks if I want to go to her car.

"Yep."

We start heading out and get to her car. Now this story is long as hell already so I'll leave this part out, but one of her friends is sick in the back and it totally breaks what was a perfect same night lay. Act of god, ladies and gentlemen, game over.

Either way three days later we met for drinks. It was entirely typical from here on out. Talked and drank for an hour. Went to my place, straight to the bedroom, clothes came off, bam. I'm not into one night stands as much as fuckbuddies so I expect to see more of her.

Analysis

A few things are evident here, first is that this was not an expert pickup by any means. Hell, she was the one that pulled for me. Overall I probably could have done my part in initiating the pull better. She was into me and did as much to make this happen as I did. Whether or not this decreases the value of the field report is up to the reader.

Things I did right

Maintaining frame when approaching her with another guy already talking to her.

Constant escalation, I went from one close to another quickly and with purpose. There was no doubt to my intent.

Solid movement around the venue, keeps things from feeling stagnant.

Sticking points

This is not so strongly emphasized in the story but I really need to work on approaching with greater frequency. I do approach but it's certainly a form of approach anxiety.

I actually really need to work on my general talking, I'm great sometimes but the rapport/trust building stuff isn't really solid for me. I could be much smoother.

Calibration- overall I was pretty good about this, but I think if she ultimately closed the deal on leaving the club with me, I could have definitely taken the lead earlier.