A few days ago I had my first non-tinder date since forever.

Met her on a party quite a while ago but didn't get her number back then (I was quite hammered and dont even remember what we talked about or what kind of stupid stuff I said).

I met her again at a party 2 or 3 weeks ago on a friday (same location, she lives nearby). Went there with a few friends of mine but spotted her relatively quickly and said hello. We talked for a while and I managed to get her number.

We only exchanged a few messages the next day, her responses were relatively short and I figured it would be for the best to keep it quiet until next the weekend. Hit her up on friday, asked about her plans and stuff, her responses were alot warmer. Told her I wanted to go grab a drink at place x in the near future and asked if she would come with me, she said yes obviously :). We exchanged more messages but only a few each day.

Day of the date I confirmed the time a few hours before (told her beforehand that I wasn't sure if I could make it in time).

Greeted her with a hug but was a bit awkward (never had a problem with this on tinder dates?!). We started moving to the place I chose and talked. I was really focused on the conversation, didn't pay that much attention where we were going and got lost... eventually found the right way tho (should mention that she only lives here for a few years and was not that familiar with the spot).

We drank a few beers at the place and talked about all kinds of stuff (studies, her hometown, sports, tv and so on). The conversation could have gone better tho as I fcked up a few times with interrupting her, not following up on certain topics and telling her too much about myself.

I initiated a venue change as the place became empty. Took her to a really chill bar, grabbed a drink and talked some more.

After the first drink we both took the bus home (we were both tired), said goodbye without any hugging. Overally we spent over 4 hours together (not that bad for a first date?!)

I failed on so many fronts:

  • I failed to initiate kino in both locations (she probably touched me more) and it would have been so easy in the second location as we sat besides each other
  • I definitely should listen more, make her talk about herself a good deal more.
  • My whole seduction game (kino, flirting and stuff) is really bad. It just doesn't feel natural to me. And I dont want to creep her out with trying stuff...
  • Weak eye contact
  • Sitting with crossed arms (sometimes)

The whole evening just showed that my game sucks, I lack confidence and I need alot more practice...

Nonetheless, she said yes to a second date where I hopefully gonna do better :/. (farther than any tinder date went thus far)

Dunno if I gave you guys enough information but some tips on how to actually use the stuff I know and generell advice is welcome.