Confused!

Kenic_In_MD · 2019-02-25T15:11:59+00:00

be honest with me and if shes just saying that as a way to let me down easy

Don't ever ask this, she was obviously trying to exit the situation gracefully. These things happen, don't make her feel guilty about it.

BigBoss3737 · 2019-02-25T12:37:29+00:00

What's to be confused about? Either way, you won't be dating this chick so find another.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-02-25T16:06:26+00:00

1

So i did a few cold approaches today at the beach.....

What are your openers, or what is your method of coming up with openers?

What did you talk about? / What do you usually talk about with strangers?

2

the last one i did was this cute canadian girl, she seemed interested. But i think i cut off the interaction a bit early after getting the number. But other than that, it wasn't a bad interaction, she was with her friend and she seemed to blush and play with her hair.

Seemed to blush or play with her hair is not necessarily meaningful. What would definitely be meaningful would be if you hit on any good conversation topics.

3

Anyway, i texted her, i'll admit, not that well.

What did you actually text?

4

And she replied with "it was nice meeting you too, im actually leaving sydney on wednesday to do some more traveling and i'm not sure when i'll be coming back" I then asked her to be honest with me and if shes just saying that as a way to let me down easy, she hasn't replied?

Look, here are two possibilities:

She actually just played along and gave you the number to make you go away when you met.
She was actually into the interaction. (Less likely, given how she responded.)

Since the main idea of her answer was that she leaves in a couple days and doesn't know when she'll be back, the operative vibe is, "I'm leaving, bye." Which means:

She really is leaving.
She's just saying so because she has no desire or interest in meeting you one on one.

No matter which situation it is, she's either:

Telling the truth and you're responding by treating her as if she's lying
Or you're trying to pressure someone you don't know well, who didn't want to say the truth, into telling the truth.

Did you really expect her to reply? There's literally nothing left to say between the two of you, especially with you either calling her a liar, or trying to force someone to talk about something they don't want to talk about.

5

This need to be laid out.... because you seem to think that the issue here is that she's not being straight with you. Let's back up the train and look at where she's coming from. Women have a different experience as they grow up and come into puberty and beyond:

They deal with creepy dudes from the moment they gain any sorts of tits and ass. While in their tweens, it's not uncommon for them to deal with some creepy shit from dudes 10 years older than them, or more.
A lot of frustrated dudes have some really negative ways of dealing with rejection, that fuck it up for everyone. It only takes ONE bad experience to scare them: once bitten, twice shy. It's ridiculously common for women to deal with dudes who see nothing wrong with following a girl for blocks after she has directly turned them down, all while voicing sexually aggressive things, in defiance of her direct rejection. I know this isn't you, but it's part of their experience, not ours.
As such, they adapt a lot of ways of defusing and avoiding such awkward and potentially harmful experiences with men.
- Girls will pull a girl away from a dude she doesn't want to talk to, protecting her from facing the potential blow-back she might face from having to directly reject him herself.
- Girls often give guys numbers during a cold approach, just to make them go away and leave things cordially.
- And so on.

6

So the issue here is probably easily addressable by trying to focus on active listening and thoughtful follow-up on what she has just said. But it's hard to say until you answer my question at #1, asking what your opener(s) is(are).

Title	Confused!
Author	beserker112
Upvotes	1
Comments	13
Date	February 25, 2019 12:18 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/aukn7f/confused/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/confused.1463156 https://theredarchive.com/post/1463156

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