Last Tuesday, I met a girl and we hit it off pretty well. She was engaged, I had good kino, she reciprocated kino later on when she was talking, and I was in the company of great social proof. She seemed pretty into me. I got her number when I left. I had tons of hooks to follow up with: she had broken her finger the day before, we had talked about trading Japanese lessons for dance lessons over some beer.

But a few days later, and I'm getting flustered over our text. She takes hours to reply. She seems interested in what she says. But when I've invited her out, she's been busy. She hasn't taken any initiative in texting me and she hasn't proposed any days where she's free.

Since meeting her, I've sent her three invites. Once for Sunday. She said she was working. I suggest either we can do it after she gets off on Sunday, or she should tell me when she's free. She tells me she's free Saturday. I tell her I'm busy with friends, but I decide to invite her to tag along (invite #2). She doesn't get back to me until the next day and says a co-worker is sick and she has to cover. Then, today, I invited her out to join me (invite #3). She replies that she's got a rehearsal, so she'll have to see.

I'm about ready to bench this girl.

There's just that risk that she really is busy, and she's just not the kind of person to take initiative (she's Japanese heritage, so it might just not be her nature).

I'm feeling insecure over this girl. The contrast between her IOIs in person and her lackluster texting is unsettling. I was also pretty into her when we met. "Send it and forget it" has been difficult because of this.

I have other girls in my phone I can focus on in the meantime. But I'm not sure what I should do about this girl. Do I just stop texting her for a week? Do I send hints that I'm losing interest? Do I just casually invite her out once a week or every other week? Do I just 'next her entirely?

Related to this, what do you do to keep your expectations under control? I know the policy is "send it and forget it", but when I'm into her, it just nags at me. It drives me nuts waiting for that reply.