TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

InevitableKiwi5776 Archive

View 2 posts and 1,405 comments by InevitableKiwi5776 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

InevitableKiwi5776/r/RedPillWomen28/07/23 03:05 AM
1

ADVICEInevitableKiwi5776/r/RedPillWomen13/06/23 01:38 AM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 1,405 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

You’re supposed to be hypergamous when dating. That’s how you find a man you will look up to and respect.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/26 11:08 PM
4

100% depends of the man, his background, his family’s background, etc. It’s not something men find attractive like women do, but some men do expect a level of education and/or career success to want to commit. Men absolutely don’t expect you to outperform them in education or career, and will be turned off by competitiveness in these areas.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/26 09:04 PM
1

If you feel like you are going to have trouble dating you should start practicing sooner than later. Spend time in mixed company where you can work on socializing with men. Accept low stakes dating opportunities to get to know men who are interested in you. Read the resources in here in the wiki and especially read Laura Doyle’s The Surrendered Single.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/26 08:09 PM
1

I think it really depends on you and what you value in friendships. I personally don’t talk about the inner workings of my relationship with anyone, friends or family, mostly because I don’t have anyone close IRL with the type of relationship I’d want. It would certainly be nice to have, but I suppose I’m so used to compartmentalizing it’s not really that important to me now. I’m perfectly happy to have friends that I only share some overlap in interests or compatibility with and don’t feel the …
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/26 07:48 PM
13

Not really no. There isn’t anyone I would choose over my partner. Even the one guy I was super hung up on in my 20’s and we hooked up a few times but he wouldn’t date me, looking back now I don’t even know why I thought he was so great. I think I was projecting my hopes and dreams on him and being in love with what I fantasized it would be like to be together than anything real about him. Him getting married and having a baby with a girl who I found super annoying also killed any remaining attra…
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/26 06:11 PM
35

It’s incredibly hypocritical to do social media management for OF models and then to disparage how they make the money they pay you with. Even taking out the OF part of this, you are working in the social media industry that perpetuates the exact negative behavior you are complaining about here (parading an illusion of wealth and privilege that is likely false). How is working as a social media manager for girls that you would probably dump your boyfriend for following in any way “choosing to be…
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/26 05:05 PM
48

And you’re now making your living off of these people you despise? You are not really in a morally superior position here. You are now participating in the sex work industry, is that what you want on your resume and to build your career on?
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/26 03:46 PM
2

You can support him by not chatting with other men about their junk for starters jeez. 🙄 There are a ton of resources at r/marriedredpill but he has to do this journey on his own. It’s not something you should be much involved in.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/26 01:09 PM
9

The reality is he created pornographic images of real women he personally knows without their consent. That is the reality she is judging here.
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/26 08:42 PM
1

But what is the deception and what is the exit? Is solo masturbation deception in your mind?
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/26 08:58 PM
9

I don’t understand what your title means or how it pertains to your essay.
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/26 06:39 PM
2

This is interesting. We also have a 10 year age gap and the only difference I have really noticed is some tv shows we watched growing up. I was expecting more differences.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/26 06:33 PM
8

If you’re fighting at 3 months it’s not a good relationship. This is not worth your investment.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/26 03:26 PM
1

Being busy away for work is not ghosting. You should keep texting him if you like him and you already regularly text. This is something you can discuss together too. Ask him if he wants you to keep texting regularly when he’s away or if he would rather you didn’t and he will reach out when he can. In my experience men like to know you are thinking about them even when they can’t respond. eta I have been in this situation and I would send good morning and good night texts and a few throughout the…
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/26 04:05 PM
5

This sounds like a hamster situation. You’re punishing him in your mind for things other guys did. This is called baggage. You gotta wipe the slate clean and let him show you how he behaves in this relationship. If you must bring it up, do not tie it to other men you’re now comparing him to. Just say something like “hey I have had a lot of birthday disappointments in the past and now making a lot of birthday plans makes me anxious,” or whatever is true to you. You can just say what behavior you …
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/26 03:59 PM
1

Has something changed since before you were married?
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/26 01:51 PM
3

This is really not enough information to give advice. Is he out of the house? Do you have a plan for dinner? Do you normally cook dinner for everyone? Does Charlotte need to eat before going home? Does he usually make the dinner arrangements? If my partner asked this it would be because he was thinking of us going out or ordering something and he wants to know what I was planning to cook, so I would tell him what I was planning on cooking and what we have ready in the fridge and then he would sa…
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/26 01:38 AM
1

Do you have any good men in your life that you respect and are positive examples? If you do please try to spend time with them and get their opinion on men you date.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/26 10:16 PM
1

Did the Dr have any suggestions? Did you get a hormone panel? How is your hydration?
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/26 09:52 PM
7

What do you feel is unhealed or preventing you from making different choices in a new relationship? What resources have you used to improve yourself? Have you read any of the recommended resources here? What have you implemented? What have you done to try to meet new men? Have you tried dating apps?
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/26 10:11 PM
7

I found that RP theory explained things that I had observed IRL, so it wasn’t really jarring or shocking to learn these theories. And I understand that most traits are expressed in a bell curve, and that AWALT/AMALT is about the tendency or capacity to do something, a description of what is happening subconsciously, not saying that every person WILL do specific things. Also it helps to understand that when most men (especially TRP men) say “women” they mean “women I’m attracted to”. So it’s help…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/26 07:10 PM
4

You shouldn’t get too invested before you can meet. I understand there is a very limited pool, but time is on his side. It sounds like you know his family a bit so that’s probably a plus. As for the dread question, which really seems like the least of your issues, you should ignore it. If he has options he has options and you just need to show that you are a keeper. This is a real uphill battle if there are eligible girls around him and no eligible men around you.
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/26 04:55 PM
21

You haven’t met in 6 months. I don’t think he’s serious about you.
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/26 03:47 AM
11

What are you doing to address this problem?
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/26 10:07 PM
14

Why do you want to marry someone you don’t trust?
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/26 07:23 PM
1

So can you think of some ways to address each different way you don’t listen? Ultimately it starts with taking care of yourself. Like if you have no mental reserves because you have so much to do and you’re multitasking, how are you going to be able to pay attention to him when he is speaking? Are you getting enough sleep, food, water, relaxation? Do you use “ouch” and “I can’t”?
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/26 07:30 PM
6

Yeah so not taking care of yourself directly contributes to always feeling attacked and that you have to defend yourself and not listening. Do you know why you don’t listen to him? Have you thought about what is happening in the moment that this keeps happening? What do you mean by “not listening”? Does that mean hearing him but not doing what he says ? Does it mean you aren’t paying attention to him and his words don’t sink in? Are you multitasking and not focusing on him when he talks?
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/26 08:40 PM
8

Do you respect him? What kinds of things do you do that he feels disrespected by? The skills are for you to improve yourself so you can take care of yourself in order to show up as your best self in every relationship. What do you do to take care of yourself?
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/26 06:22 PM
–

Well you’re learning valuable information about him in each interaction. That is part of vetting.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/26 03:04 PM
2

Bring him the problem, not the solution. You could say “I miss you so much. Talking on the phone just isn’t the same” and then just wait and not try to get a solution out of him. This is an opportunity to be vulnerable and using it to lecture him on how to correctly interact with you is a waste. Have you read any of the recommended resources in the wiki?
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/26 04:15 AM
3

There’s lots of advice available on what to do with a windfall. Just search like “personal finance windfall” and you’ll get some ideas. I wouldn’t use “extra” money on beauty, I budget it into my regular spending, as in I would only increase my beauty spending because of increased income. And yeah if you’re engaged I assume you are on the same page as to spending and shared financial goals. If not this would be a good opportunity to start that conversation.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/26 03:56 AM
2

It sounds like you’re asking if you should pick a fight/criticize/nag him about how he communicates over the phone when you are going to be back home in a week. The answer is “no”.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/26 08:58 PM
3

If he already told you he is comfortable in his clothes and doesn’t want to change then it is disrespectful and controlling for you to keep trying to get him to change to match your preferences.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/26 07:25 PM
2

It’s definitely a spectrum. Some men are more emotionally mature and some are less. I think it is important for your own sake to not expect men to be like women. A man acting like a woman is not “evolved.” You should be able to respect men for their positive masculine qualities and not insist that your way of doing something is the only correct way. I have no idea what things are like in India or Indian dating communities but I have found that a good signal for emotional maturity is a man who ot…
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/26 05:23 PM
4

At that age I think it depends on his overall sociability. It sounds like he has a large social circle overall and lots of male and female friends. This is how my friends were in high school and college, big “friend groups” and usually people dated outside of the group although there were occasional inter group crushes and couples. In the places I lived at this age, I kind of feel like having no female friends at this age would be kind of weird, but that was before ubiquitous social media so I a…
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/26 02:40 AM
3

Well I think some people interpret everything that is not 100% their way as an attack, some people don’t know how to have a disagreement without feeling attacked or attacking the other person, some people think you’re not being authentic or real unless you’re fighting. Personally I just can’t really handle fighting. Like if things start to get heated I just kind of shut down and I know I can’t have a meaningful, productive conversation while also fighting. So I have to disengage because I litera…
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/26 09:45 PM
7

I just want to point out that not everyone is like that and not all relationships have fights, bickering or blow ups. Disagreements don’t have to lead to arguments. For advice of course I have to recommend the Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle. She has a whole thing about not taking the bait that will lead to an argument. Regular meditation is super helpful for reactivity and not getting carried away by your emotions. There was a post recently about emotional flooding during arguments that you might…
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/26 07:31 PM
17

What kind of opinion are you looking for? He broke up with you so the relationship is over. Do not get back together. How much of what he said to you think is true? Is there anything you can learn and take with you into your next relationship?
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/26 04:21 AM
5

I’d recommend finding support groups for families of quadriplegics and planning other caregivers/respite into your schedule before it becomes a crisis. I don’t think there’s much advice that anyone who isn’t in your situation could give you. My mom was the full time caregiver for her partner as he progressed with Parkinson’s but even with everything I know from that, it sounds like you are in an entirely different situation. Make sure you are prioritizing your self care and that you and him are …
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/26 03:35 AM
5

This doesn’t sound like someone you would have a stable, peaceful and harmonious relationship with, if that is what you want.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/26 03:24 AM
2

This topic has been addressed more than once. You can just search the sub.
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/26 11:02 PM
3

I think the first part of your comment is spot on, but there are tons of guys who beta-ize themselves after LTR or marriage. They let the wife walk all over them, fail shit tests, stop prioritizing their mission, stop being interesting, etc. Tons of examples of this on r/marriedredpill . I’m not at all saying it’s all on the man, just that saying that just living together and being around each other isn’t necessarily what kills the relationship but also can often be each person getting lazy in d…
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/26 03:15 PM
1

Yeah he kissed someone before they were married and she had no clue about any of it until now because it didn’t change his behavior towards her in any way she could notice and does not seem to have continued. That’s what I mean by going nowhere. They’ve been married 3 years. This is not a reason to get divorced in my opinion.
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/26 03:14 PM
2

Idk why you feel like this is new information and not the same thing that’s been shoved down our throats constantly for the last 30+ years. You know what else? It’s ok for women to prioritize relationships, marriage and family over independence, freedom and career.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/26 10:24 PM
1

Simply behaving respectfully towards men, not being argumentative or competitive, and not being vocally anti-man will set you apart in men’s eyes.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/26 03:12 PM
100

Don’t take advice from people who don’t have the relationship you want.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/26 02:13 PM
6

I think you should think carefully about what exactly you mean by “decenter men love and romance.” Do you mean taking time to recover from your breakup? Do you want to focus on other specific goals? Are you just tired of seeing dating content while you’re single? Figuring out your specific goals for this period should be the first step. Stepping away from social media is always a good thing to do, especially when you appear to be consuming content that is not aligned with your values. But also I…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/26 04:57 AM
1

I assume it means they are dressing in a way that they find sexy/attractive without consciously prioritizing what men generally would find attractive. If we were all dressing for men we would always wear sundresses right lol
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/26 12:40 AM
10

If you are truly sub-5 seriously consider plastic surgery to correct whatever is making you ugly. Otherwise get in shape (#1 priority) and learn what clothing, makeup and hairstyles flatter you. Read this post: http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/feminine-beauty-is-highly-controllable.html?m=1 Seriously invest in your RMV. You want the men you are attracted to to be annoyed that they aren’t attracted to you because it’s obvious you would be such a good girlfriend/wife. Feminine vibe and dem…
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/26 11:40 PM
2

At this point I would make sure you know what you want out of the relationship and confirm that you are aligned. Like do you want to get married again or not, have more children, can you move to his city or can/would he move to yours. Make sure you like his vision of his future. Go on a trip together if possible. As for keeping him: show him respect in ways men appreciate, don’t pick fights/get argumentative or competitive, bake him something that is your specialty or his favorite, do or give hi…
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/26 03:54 PM
1

Was he instigating the relationship moving forward at each step? Did he ask you out, ask you to be his girlfriend, ask you to move in, ask you to get married? You said he didn’t do the proposal he was planning and his friends thought you were manipulating him to move in with you. At the very least it seems like his friends are over involved with your lives (at least in my opinion that would be too much involvement for me) but it also seems possible that he was just going along with what you want…
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/26 04:58 AM
4

Idk I can’t imagine asking random internet people about a man I’m interested and believing what they say. First of all, it’s not like you searched his name and found information already posted about him, someone came to you with this story after you asked for it. Second, it’s not even the ex telling you, it’s the friend of the ex who hangs out on those forums. Are you able to verify that there is a real connection from the friend to this guy and it’s not some random person making up stories? Thi…
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/26 03:37 PM
3

I’m just curious are you more pursuing these men who don’t commit to you or are they pursuing you and then don’t commit?
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/26 02:59 PM
–

A LOT of liberal men want traditional relationships but don’t feel like they are allowed to say it. Honestly many just want to feel respected in the relationship and also don’t feel like it’s ok to say that. Also a lot of men are going to interpret “traditional relationship” as “man always pays for everything” so if that isn’t what you mean then you should explain it clearly.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/26 10:08 PM
1

The common complaints I hear from men about women is that they’re argumentative/competitive and pick fights when they’re frustrated about random non-related things, change their minds too much/can’t just be satisfied with what they have (job/car/where they live), and expect other people to handle all plans and logistics. I’ve never actually heard a man IRL bring up any of the things you have mentioned. I don’t think most men want women to be drafted or work highly dangerous jobs (underwater weld…
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/26 06:51 PM
2

Spend a month only saying “Yes” to him. See what happens.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/26 06:32 PM
5

No I can’t say that I have experienced what you are describing, but taking a period of celibacy to work through your feelings is probably the best idea. But it’s usually called nun mode for women because, you know….
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/26 03:28 AM
–

Do you mean the post that says everyone has to settle because no one can get 100% what they want?
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/26 12:36 AM
–

Do you mean the post that says everyone has to settle because no one can get 100% what they want?
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/26 12:36 AM
–

I like to think of RP traits as a spectrum. These traits are there for everyone but they are not expressed equally by each person all of the time.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 11:59 PM
7

Being attracted to 22 year olds doesn’t mean he won’t still be attracted to you as you age. That’s one thing about “the true nature of men”, they can and will be attracted to many different things at the same time. I think the problem is you are thinking about attraction as women experience it, not as men experience it. In very simple terms, for women only first place matters and the man who is in second place is the same as the man in last place. For men, every hot girl is in the same place equ…
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 10:01 PM
1

So he would act differently when he knew he was being recorded? That might be something to discuss with the therapist too.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 06:53 PM
2

This sounds quite promising then! I wonder if it would help at all to record him and have him listen to himself later when he’s calmed down. I can see that escalating things but it may help him really see what he is putting you through.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 04:31 PM
0

That is all true. But for me, I would not want to know more about something that happened years ago and before marriage. I suppose I might tell him what I found and ask if there is anything I need to know.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 04:16 PM
-6

I am totally downplaying that because I think a normal tendency is to catastrophize this situation. And I think for many women the biggest wound is to her ego, that she is not the only woman he’s been infatuated with.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 03:31 PM
4

Of course he has really great qualities! I wish I had better advice to give but I ended up leaving the man who, after years together, would still have tantrums when he was frustrated or if I told him “no”. I always felt I had to soothe him and diffuse the situation and I do think maybe if I had been able to fight back or assert myself in the moment he would’ve learned that he couldn’t treat me that way. I think a part of their treatment is learning what we will put up with. But that is just not …
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 02:40 PM
4

Perhaps I take a broader view of marriage but I don’t think this is something to divorce over. It was a brief infatuation on a trip that went no where. You would never have known if you hadn’t found and then *translated* a private diary entry from years ago. It didn’t change his feelings or behavior towards you in any way that you could detect. I remember reading something about couples in long marriages and how they achieved it and one of the recurring answers was that they just didn’t divorce …
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 01:22 PM
5

It’s not normal to have regular periods of time where you have to accept cruelty, berating, meanness or being blocked from leaving a room to be ranted at. It doesn’t sound like your boyfriend is taking responsibility for his actions towards you when he is in crisis. You are not responsible to taking the worst of him so he can hide it for everyone else. You should look into codependency resources and see if resonate with anything there, but it sounds like you feel like you are responsible for man…
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 12:56 PM
4

The “RP” thing for him to do is to tell you his vision of the future and proceed with his plan to have multiple women and then you either decide to stay or not. The whole trying to convince you to allow him to do this and make you agree with him is a little pathetic. This is a huge social taboo and is illegal in the US. So even if you got on board, you would either have to hide this other family from everyone you know or face extreme embarrassment and probably ostracization. Would your family an…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/26 02:58 PM
3

Then why would you think other women would want to join your marriage as a second wife if you wouldn’t make that choice?
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/26 02:17 PM
6

I would try to get through some hard questions up front like: would you need to convert to Islam to get married, would you both continue to live in the parents house after marriage, what is his timeline for introducing you, what would the timeline for marriage be after you were introduced to his parents, how would your children be raised, are his parents currently trying to arrange a marriage for him, how involved in your marriage would his parents be (would they always have the final say) etc. …
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/26 02:36 AM
1

In my limited experience with this type of situation the man seemed most interested in feeling free, like being in a relationship wasn’t automatically curbing his freedom, but he never actually acted on this freedom. The longer we were together the more he wanted to protect me and our relationship. But I also probably have a very low amount of jealousy. I never cared who he was following on social media and I did enjoy it when other women flirted with him. He also didn’t have a specific scenario…
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/26 08:22 PM
3

I think part of the key is to do them sporadically, not just take it over. Like my partner makes the coffee every morning and sometimes he will load the water and grounds the night before so he just has to push the button in the morning. One day last week I loaded everything up so it was ready for him in the morning and he was so excited and he said “that made my week!” So I did it again the next day and crickets lol. I think it has to do with the intermittent reward being more impactful than th…
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/26 03:19 AM
6

You know literally anyone can post whatever they want here. Posts are not pre-approved. It’s ridiculous to participate in an open forum and expect every opinion to be the same. It’s also ridiculous to think one post reflects the opinions of everyone else here.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 05:47 PM
2

Something I’ve noticed is many people are a lot more willing to give help and money when you don’t really need it. I guess it feels more like a no strings attached bonus gift instead of an expectation that they have to be responsible for certain things because you aren’t capable, and that can feel like a burden. I remember a post here where a woman would drive hours to see her rich boyfriend every weekend and then something happened to her car and she needed a new part that and he offered to pay…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 02:51 PM
1

I think you would probably get better advice on an India specific sub as most people here won’t understand the culture there. In the US this would be pretty easy to find, you’d only need to worry about the man changing his mind about kids. I would be honest up front and say that because of your medical conditions you have been advised to avoid high stress situations, including pregnancy. I think if you frame it as a medical necessity instead of a want men may take you more seriously from the beg…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 02:36 PM
1

That is great! It’s very common for men to change as they grow through their early 20’s. You probably were too invested emotionally before when you hadn’t met. Now that you have met in person it’s way more likely that you will have a real relationship. I understand you’re anxious that he might leave, but you should really focus on making sure that he and the relationship are what you want. Sometimes in these situations we can be very fixated on getting and keeping the guy (the immediate goal/val…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 02:27 PM
4

The man paying the first few dates as a matter of course is not at all sugar daddy behavior, come on. Many, many men would be mortified and insulted if the woman paid. I do not think it’s a requirement at all but it’s not at all suspect for men to insist on paying.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 04:39 AM
2

It’s a balancing act for sure! I think we can always take a moment to reflect and decide if proceeding with the discussion/argument is productive or necessary. One of the techniques here is literally called STFU and that for when we know that our mouth goes faster than our good sense and decide to stop contributing to a combative dynamic. I rather feel it’s pointless to go tit for tat about anything and I don’t feel the need to prove my point to someone who doesn’t want to listen or consider my …
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 01:30 AM
7

Have you actually met in person and do you live near each other? It’s not clear in your post. And how old are each of you?
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 11:09 PM
1

Emotional volatility/reactivity/argumentativeness is not feminine. That’s something you can work on if you’re used to reacting strongly/in a masculine way. Diffusing uncomfortable situations instead of picking fights. Disengaging if you don’t like someone’s opinion instead of arguing back. Being a source of peace and calm instead of strife.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 10:28 PM
6

I’ve never had a guy not just automatically pay for the first few dates so it does seem a bit weird. However, I think a lot of great guys do like to see some financial investment from the girl early on so they don’t feel like a wallet. He might have baggage about girls using him for money in the past or he might be broke from moving or he might just be a bit oblivious to how he is coming off to you. I definitely think it’s worth it to see him some more if you like him and see what happens.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 10:01 PM
3

He’s certainly not trying to sweep you off your feet, whatever his situation is.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 09:41 PM
2

What country do you live in?
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 08:36 PM
3

I fully admit that this is pedantic but you are both misusing the phrase “negative reinforcement”. It means to take something away, not to react in a negative manner (that is a punishment in behavioral psychology). Here is a page that explains the difference: https://paloaltou.edu/resources/business-of-practice-blog/reinforcement-and-punishment
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 05:14 PM
9

In that case I would say to relax and give it time to see what happens. Stop doing things as a covert contract, stop monitoring his therapy or self reflection. Just let him do his thing and be supportive without being involved. Look up codependency and enabling and see if anything resonates with your relationship. Stop trying to control outcomes with him and focus on taking care of yourself. And do not mention breaking up again unless you are 100% done and ready to go.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 03:26 PM
13

If you have to keep threatening to break up to make the relationship work, you should just break up.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 01:49 PM
1

I don’t think it’s lowering standards as much as women are attracted by non-physical traits more than men tend to be. So women generally have more vectors of attraction that could pique their interest in a man, like charisma, status, talent or success.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 12:35 PM
8

He’s as likely to leave you for a hotter younger woman as you are to leave him for a richer stronger man. How likely are you to exercise hypergamy while in your relationship? How would you feel if your boyfriend was worried about this because he understands it’s part of female nature? It’s two sides of the same coin. I cope by knowing that my partner wants a serious long term/permanent relationship, that our relationship is the best one either of has had, that we both have options and choose eac…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 05:51 AM
6

In that case I would focus on praising what he is doing that you appreciate and not criticize what he is not doing. And reading Laura Doyle’s Empowered Wife book.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/26 05:39 PM
4

It’s been my experience in my family that men tend to die before their wives even when they’re similar ages so it’s not much different to have an older husband and also expect him to die first.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/26 05:36 PM
4

This is a vetting issue imo. I wouldn’t expect him to change how he handles household chores.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/26 04:46 PM
26

Clearly the (potential) money isn’t enough to make him interesting to you so 🤷🏼‍♀️ It doesn’t seem like you would have a successful relationship with him. I can’t imagine choosing to be with a man I didn’t love spending all my time with.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/26 02:34 AM
8

So you live together but you don’t have sex and you’re not engaged?
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/26 03:15 AM
23

Yeah it sounds like he never had any intention for a serious relationship. Nothing you have written here suggests a relationship would happen between you two.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/26 03:13 AM
3

This man has a smelly kitchen with rotting food and doesn’t take care of himself physically and you’re worried that you’re too boring for him????
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/26 04:32 PM
3

I think you need to wait a lot longer to be intimate in the future.
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/26 02:30 AM
13

Yeah he sounds like he’d negging you there. “Not sleeping with someone else” is not commitment. Exclusivity is not even commitment. If commitment before sex is truly important to you then you should be enforcing that boundary not just saying it and hoping the guy respects it. You said one thing and did another with that. He has reflected after sex with you and either now he’s knows he’s not serious (which kinda seems more likely given that he’s now negging and not talking about the future) or th…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/26 03:23 PM
1

What I remember is she says it’s infantilizing and patronizing to women to tell them unilaterally when they should leave their relationship as if she knows better than the woman in the relationship. If a woman doesn’t want to/can’t leave an abusive situation for whatever reason that is her decision and she can still use the skills to improve her life even in a bad situation.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/26 01:15 PM
1

I would never have thought of this! I’ve never really understood how to be strategic like this. Very impressive!
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/26 12:46 PM
1

I mostly shop on Poshmark or Amazon these days. There’s a couple influencers I follow to get style inspiration, StrawberryChic and LaceAndLashes.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/26 12:29 PM
12

I don’t understand why you slept with him before commitment if that is so important to you. Were you overwhelmed by your passion and attraction to him in the moment?
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/26 12:21 PM
3

Idk if it’s a male/female thing, but as a woman, it doesn’t seem weird at all that internal factors affect attraction. Knowing certain things about someone influence attraction just as much as physical characteristics.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:24 PM
7

I have never seen anything that made me want to follow her or learn her perspective.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/26 04:17 PM
7

This is preposterous.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/26 02:04 PM
6

Are you doing anything to manage your anxiety and adhd? Has anything helped? Can you view plans that don’t work out how you imagine they should as adventures rather than failures? Do you express appreciation and gratitude for what he does do for you? Do you think he might be afraid of disappointing you which may cause him to avoid planning more? Do you feel and express attraction and desire for him?
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/26 04:58 AM
6

You have a lot of good advice here that you should genuinely take to heart. However you’re not married or engaged yet and dealing with these issues. For me this would be a “it doesn’t need to be so hard” situation.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/26 10:22 PM
3

You’re doing a lot! I can tell you are really trying and you’re in a hard spot. I would really lean into gratitude for him and things he does, and not even to say them out loud to him just to think of to yourself each day. Maybe keep a list on your phone you can look at when you’re feeling like he’s not doing what you want. I think keeping positive thoughts about him top of mind will help your overall attitude when things don’t go how you like.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/26 04:06 PM
3

What specific LD skills are you practicing right now?
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/26 03:16 PM
2

Like strength standards, mobility, flexibility, vo2max, resting heart rate. I would definitely do some strength/resistance training to prevent osteoporosis. Even body weight training like planks, pull ups and squats can be impactful depending on where you’re starting. And doing outdoor activities/sports that bring joy and that you can eventually do with your kids.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/26 05:45 AM
2

It’s pretty alarming to me that he’s not even claiming he was “out of control” and thinks he’s justified in slapping you for any reason. Even if you had a domestic discipline dynamic, physical punishment would be in private and consensual.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/26 03:29 AM
3

You really cannot take what other people say about him too seriously because they don’t see him at home. They don’t see what he has put you through. It is really up to you to decide if you can put up with him or not. Men like this do not act the same to their friends or anyone else as they do to you. In fact I bet he has a lot of anxiety about how he’s perceived and that no one else but you knows his insecurities.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/26 07:53 PM
9

There is no violence tolerated in a healthy relationship. I personally cannot tolerate yelling, aggressive arguing or tantrums. We also do not recommend being involved with overly RP identified men.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/26 05:17 PM
5

Since you are at a healthy weight I would focus on resistance training and using exercise to benefit other health metrics besides weight and as a mental health tool. And I agree with removing Instagram. I found it to be so insidious.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/26 02:46 PM
1

Historical estimates suggest that approximately 40% of men throughout human history reproduced, compared to about 80-90% of women.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/26 03:18 AM
37

Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!! Don’t do it!!! Omg just stop. There is no good reason to have one last “intimate moment” with this “friend”. Cutting off access to you is not punitive. He has seemingly been honest with you and you need to hear him and stop fantasizing that he will commit to you if you keep fooling around with him. All that seeing him one more time will do is make it harder to cut him off, muddy the waters and show to him that your standards/beliefs are not that strong after all.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/26 03:16 AM
14

Sometimes it’s hard to realize that the more we do for someone else, the more it causes them to resent us and feel badly about themselves that they needed so much help. You may be enabling him by swooping in to fix things and not letting him deal with the consequences of his actions.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/26 11:22 PM
6

First off, I agree with everyone else that there is nothing you can really do to help him and that him discussing these matters with trusted IRL males (ideally in good relationships/marriages) is the best possible way forward. If you’re not familiar with RP concepts you may want to read what is available in the sidebar/wiki. I personally am glad that I learned about these concepts and do sometimes look at males spaces to see their perspective but it can also be very damaging to females to do so.…
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/26 06:24 PM
1

I’m sorry it didn’t work out. Good luck with future dating ♥️
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/26 02:14 AM
2

So did you end up going on another date with this guy?
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/26 09:56 PM
4

I participate here and read old content. My partner knows I am involved here but thinks it’s a little weird lol. In my relationship I practice gratitude and really try to focus on listening to my partner and then doing what I know he wants. He’s not very big on giving overt directions so I have to remember some things that I know he wants me to do but doesn’t always say it, like having the kitchen cleaned up before bed each night. We’re both super agreeable with each other so avoiding and resolv…
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/26 08:12 PM
2

You’re arguing against a point no one is making here.
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/26 07:59 PM
3

Meditation can really help with emotional reactivity.
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/26 05:10 PM
5

I’m not trying to say who is right or wrong in these situations, but if he feels like he can’t do anything right because you always have a criticism for him (or want to have a discussion about what he is doing all the time), then he’s not going to feel good in the relationship. You really need to weigh when bringing up something he did wrong is worth the negative impact on your relationship. I’m not saying him being two hours late is not something to discuss, but I’m sure there is either some ad…
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/26 04:21 PM
-1

And an antisemitic remark would be an obvious red flag, right? It’s an example of an unambiguous red flag.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/26 05:45 PM
11

I’m just astonished that at your age you’re still equating wealth with good character.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/26 01:47 PM
1

Why are you constantly fighting?
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/26 12:28 AM
5

I think he should explain better what he means. Voicing your ideas is not unfeminine on its face. Does his statement make sense to you? Can you give specific examples of things you do that you believe are unfeminine when voicing your ideas that you want to improve?
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/26 10:33 PM
0

She’s saying that would be a real red-flag compared to not offering to drive OP home.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/26 03:49 PM
4

I think you’re misinterpreting this a bit. This isn’t about lording moral superiority over the man or making him feel bad about himself, or “acting” in any way at all. This isn’t something you would necessarily discuss directly with a man, like “oh I’m so much better than you in these ways, aren’t you attracted to me?” That would be weird and off putting. Behaving in that way would actually be the opposite of the behavior that this post is recommending. Men want to believe that their women is ki…
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/26 03:46 PM
4

It sounds like you are not comfortable sending pictures of yourself so it’s fine to say No. There is no required timeline for sending pictures to someone you only vaguely know online, are not even sure if you’re interested in dating or able to verify if they’re single or not. If you are interested in possibly dating this person then you need to bring it into reality, have a video call at the very least and plan to meet in person asap. If you just want to flirt and get attention from a guy online…
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/26 03:17 PM
64

Age is just one factor that can be easily overshadowed by other pros and cons. What if it is harder to date now at 33? That is your only option if you want to be in a relationship/get married/have kids, so worrying about one of the very few things you have no control over is a huge waste of mental space. Being fairly in shape, no kids, not argumentative/entitled and not anti-man will put you ahead of a huge percentage of other women in your age group. Focus on what you can control to put your be…
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/26 01:07 AM
3

This is why I think you can’t reliably tell men what you want because if you hint people will make wild assumptions as you see from this thread. And it will be off putting to be upfront about financial requirements. It’s the kind of thing you will need to sus out and leave when you detect financial incompatibility. Money is a very touchy subject.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/26 01:53 PM
2

Also offering an Uber would require her to give him her address, right? Unless he were to offer to pay her back for an Uber she wasn’t planning on taking anyway… It doesn’t really make sense either.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/26 10:03 PM
2

Yes, it’s good to remember that we can all do weird or awkward things that we cringe at ourselves for, especially around people we want to impress. The first time I stayed over at my partner’s house I messed up his coffee machine and then cried. Everything turned out fine lol.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/26 09:51 PM
3

Great! Then you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. Maybe you need more hobbies or something to keep the hamster occupied.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 09:07 PM
4

That is an interesting idea that I’d never considered.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 04:42 PM
1

Dates are times you need to mentally prepare yourself to be more engaged. You should do what you need to show up as the best version of yourself. My partner and I are both more introverted than not and luckily we both find each other to not be draining to be around which was a huge plus for both of us, obviously lol. So I suppose looking for someone that isn’t so hard to connect with should be a priority. Unfortunately I think it’s just luck finding that type of person.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 04:29 PM
7

They’ve been together a month and you’re suggesting couples therapy?
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 04:17 PM
9

That’s still pretty impressive. You seem to be underestimating him a bit. If you’re not so into him after a month then you should probably break up.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 03:38 PM
18

Does it matter that much what they think about your relationship? My advice would be to only say positive things about your husband to your friends. Don’t give them any reason to think badly of him and your marriage. You should be grateful for what your husband provides for you and that you have the ability to not work. It is entitled to expect him to work and pay for both of you with no appreciation from your end.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 03:12 PM
3

I’m not sure what you mean in your first sentence. Does he work for himself now?
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 03:04 PM
10

How long have you been together? Does he have any desire to start his own company or anything like that? Have you two discussed what the future would look like? Are you expecting to end up making a lot more money than him? Do you think he would resent you if you did? Would you resent him? Do you want to get married and start a family sooner or later and what does he want? Are you attracted to him?
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 02:51 PM
0

So your advice for OP is to get a job at McDonalds?
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 01:38 PM
2

I don’t think I’d be happy with a man who would put up with this kind of disrespectful behavior.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 01:11 PM
2

Their point was that this isn’t how people treat someone they’re attracted to. So if you’re treating your dates like this it just means you aren’t very attracted to them or you wouldn’t risk losing them with these games.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 01:10 PM
5

I don’t think she’s even looking for wealth, she’s looking for not totally broke with no plan. And most men are not entrepreneurs…
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 12:40 PM
2

I just want to say that some men can be perfectly nice but not in a good place to start a relationship. Being unintentionally unemployed means he’s not in a position to start a relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 12:33 AM
11

Most men don’t want their finances to be what you’re most attracted to about them. Just something to keep in mind.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/26 10:26 PM
2

SMV vs RMV. Career/financial contribution to the relationship is an RMV trait in women.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/26 10:19 PM
7

I don’t know if you can do this effectively. Even if you spell it out perfectly many men will not filter themselves appropriately according to your wishes/instructions. Just realize it’s something you are going to have to vet for if it’s important to you. Talking about life and financial goals should help. Ask questions and try not to lead to a particular answer. But plenty of guys will just feed you what you want to hear so you will still need to verify their words through their actions.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/26 10:17 PM
14

Did your husband not have life insurance? And aren’t your kids getting SS survivor benefits if you’re in the US? It doesn’t really matter if it’s unrealistic or not if this is your situation. Being open to divorced/single dads will help your odds. I’d think that finding a man who will be a good father to your children would trump his paycheck and ability to provide a SAHM lifestyle.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/26 10:10 PM
27

Laugh, smile, don’t swear. Do something with your hair. Take care of someone/something. Be optimistic. Don’t be crude, rude, competitive or argumentative.
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/26 04:48 PM
1

How many men did you date?
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/26 04:03 AM
2

What are the negative feelings you don’t feel like you can share with him? Are they about him/the relationship or like if something bad happens in your day or some serious family situation? Is he always unsupportive with anything negative/difficult?
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/26 09:51 PM
18

Idk what the question is. These seem like good reasons to end the relationship before you get more involved. He is not in a position to be a good boyfriend to you right now. If he’s conflicted about his sexuality that is something he needs to figure out on his own, not using you as a crutch to “help him be straight.”
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/26 09:06 PM
0

I have dated in the last 10 years. I did not find it difficult to find good quality men who wanted relationships with pleasant, agreeable, attractive women.
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/26 10:57 PM
2

I’m not married. I’ve been with my partner for two years. I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make?
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/26 03:13 PM
6

Very good point. I was trying to be charitable and imagine why these women think that being single and self sufficient is such an accomplishment. I don’t really understand it either. The women I know who are resolutely single are a bit femcel-y and know they wouldn’t attract the type of man they want so decided to stay single instead of “settle” for a male version of themselves.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/26 10:34 PM
9

I don’t care what is popular online. I’ve never heard of this, so I don’t think about it. ETA. Ok I looked it up. Just seems like nonsense spouted by vapid influencers. I love pilates and I’d recommend it to everyone. Anyone who thinks it’s a personality is dumb.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/26 05:07 PM
25

When I was growing up most of the adults around me were single. Either divorced, widowed, or never married. I suppose that felt like the default. The friends I had with married parents seemed exotic and a bit baffling. Having a lasting relationship felt aspirational and vaguely out of reach for me. I suppose if these women were raised to feel that marriage was an inevitability or a requirement instead of a choice, they might feel relieved to decide that they can opt out. I assume these are also …
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/26 04:39 PM
5

I would first reflect on how much you respect and trust his decision making. If you have legitimate concerns about his decisions then it makes sense why you would balk at following them. In that case you should discuss these issues more so you can come to a better understanding of what will work best for your family. If you don’t have any real objections about these things, but you feel like you should have been consulted more or are anxious about them or just feeling obstinate and contrary, the…
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/26 06:18 PM
5

If you want to feel desirable you have to exhibit attractive traits. “Be attractive, don’t be unattractive” is actually really good advice.
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/26 02:49 PM
17

Yes you are overreacting.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/26 12:33 PM
6

What are your best qualities that a man would be attracted to?
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/26 01:40 AM
3

That is extremely entitled behavior.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/26 02:32 AM
3

That is a great idea! I should definitely do that too. Now that I work fully remotely I can easily go days without leaving the house if there are no errands to run, it’s terrible lol. And I’m usually covering up as much as possible. Do you use SPF or try to get direct sun exposure?
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/26 06:02 PM
16

Make sure you are doing the basics first: exercise, healthy food, hydration, sleep, relaxation. Meditation is also amazing, good job! Focus on gratitude for what you have. Spend time in nature. Limit social media consumption. Bake something from scratch. Personally I have to exercise regularly to keep myself happy. It’s a non-negotiable.
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/26 04:37 PM
5

I would not say it’s normal but whatever, it’s his decision what his dating priorities are. Dating 10 years younger is not that odd, it my opinion. I would be interested to know what his long term relationship goals are.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/26 08:42 PM
27

You kind of sound like someone who will find something to criticize no matter what the situation. Nothing you said here sounds like he is doing anything wrong, it’s just not what you think you would prefer. The answer is to deeply focus on respect and gratitude for what he does for you and your family. Focus on the positive aspects of what is real instead of fantasizing about how much better things would be for you if your husband was different in these specific ways. The fact that you have what…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/26 12:38 PM
7

Do you participate in the your cultural community in your area? If raising children with your culture and language is a priority then that is where you should be looking for a partner. It’s hard to say how unrealistic your desires are but “enjoys doing stuff outdoors,” “likes sci-fi,” and “gaming” are hardly niche interests. I feel like that describes at least 50% of guys. It’s the charismatic and fit and above average attractiveness that is probably hanging you up so perhaps try to be more open…
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/26 03:18 AM
3

I’d look into shadowing or volunteer opportunities to get a realistic perspective of what these professions will be like. There’s a ton of different types of jobs with healthcare and education so you don’t necessarily need to just go to “nurse” or “teacher” to be in those fields.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/26 04:56 PM
9

You should be talking to other men about this, not posting in women’s subs.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/26 04:52 PM
46

This is so interesting because in regular dating subs you see women complaining that they can only find conservative men to date.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/26 03:16 PM
0

Marriage is how you legally join to be family members without children. If that’s not important to you then you don’t need to get married.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/26 09:26 PM
2

Good men are not so scarce! Unless you are somewhere super rural, there are certain to be many men local to you that you would get along with just was well.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/26 06:24 PM
1

Why would you take her advice then?
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/26 05:57 PM
1

I’m interested to see what you’re basing that on. And do you mean in the US or in Europe? From what I can see from some quick googling is that arranged marriages in the US were only common among first and second generation immigrants. So assimilation to US culture involved not participating in arranged marriages.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/26 03:40 PM
1

So is wearing corsets but most western women haven’t had experience with doing that for generations. It’s no longer part of our culture.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/26 03:17 PM
2

The only advice I can think of is don’t stay with someone you don’t want to marry as he is. If anything comes up that makes you realize you wouldn’t marry him if he asked you, then just leave. Obviously this is after some time to get to know each other, but you shouldn’t be with someone if there is something that would have to change for the relationship to work out. Don’t waste time trying to fix relationships when you’re not married.
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/26 07:53 PM
1

You don’t have to wear bright florals to be feminine.
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/26 07:36 PM
3

Other people’s relationships shouldn’t dictate how yours are. You can avoid a ton of relationship issues by following the advice here. Marriage/ltr and family are extremely rewarding to most people. It’s ok if you decide you don’t want that, but you should make an active decision so you don’t just end up alone if that is not your goal. Here are some questions that will have a huge bearing on your ability to have a successful marriage/ltr: Are you emotionally well regulated or to you flip out on …
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/26 05:49 PM
7

Something can be natural and still be taught, like language. Would you say learning to speak is natural or is it “just society” forcing you to learn language? Is reading and writing unnatural? Feral children don’t develop language so it’s not that innate, but all societies develop language. Humans are social/exist in groups. To say that something is not natural because it’s part of our social or cultural fabric is to misunderstand what it is to be human. For a personal note, there were some trad…
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/26 02:21 PM
8

Do you believe he is really this busy and are you ok with how much time he can spend with you? If he is going to be a doctor then this maybe what your life looks like. I’m just assuming he is being honest with you about his availability.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/26 09:46 PM
14

I don’t understand how you’ve been dating for three months but sometimes you go almost a month without seeing each other… Like has that happened more than once in 3 months? How many times have you actually spent time together in these 3 months?
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/26 06:10 PM
4

“You don’t have to take the bait” means you don’t have to participate in an argument he’s trying to start. It means stop “matching his energy” if that is creating conflict. Empowered Wife is her main book now, it’s an updated version of Surrendered Wife.
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/26 12:44 PM
9

Even if she didn’t disagree with what he did ethically, the fact that he is doing illegal stuff behind her back jeopardizes their whole life. It’s a huge betrayal of his marriage vows.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/26 08:41 PM
3

Definitely recommend reading Laura Doyle. That can help you learn ways to stop being reactive and show up as the woman you want to be. You don’t have to take his bait.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/26 08:37 PM
3

It’s still not clear what is going on. What have you been trying to fix? Why aren’t you able to control your behavior in the way you want to? Why can’t you stop doing what is causing you pain and anxiety? What values do you share and how is he demonstrating those values? What happened last night to cause you to lose it?
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/26 05:56 PM
16

He has torpedoed their lives committing illegal activities that have serious consequences. Now he is experiencing the fallout. It’s ridiculous to expect her to stand by while he is committing crimes against their friends and family.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/26 03:36 PM
3

Wtf. Is this how to talk to people irl?
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/26 04:45 AM
1

You realize how insane it is to ask strangers that right?
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/26 08:47 PM
3

Do you think you’d be attracted to someone like you if you were a woman? Do you have your own goals, a life plan, a vision for your future? Are you secure that you bring enough to the table to keep the kind of woman you want? Are you a leader in any aspect of your life?
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/26 01:41 PM
11

Be very honest about what you want. Don’t say something just because you think it’s what he wants to hear. Pay attention to what he says he wants and how his actions support what he says. Try to figure out if he is just saying what you want to hear. Be respectful, adoring, happy and agreeable.
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/26 12:42 PM
2

5’3”
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/26 08:44 PM
2

When I was with an ex who was my same-ish height I never thought he was short. After I broke up with him I saw him once and had an immediate thought of “huh, he’s kinda short actually.” So yeah if you’re genuinely attracted to him he won’t “feel” short to you.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/26 08:37 PM
7

Some guys are takers and nothing you can do will be enough. And you can also look at what you do to foster or erode intimacy. Anything that is taken as a criticism (even if you didn’t mean it) will erode intimacy. That’s why “staying on your paper” is so powerful.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/26 08:04 PM
8

It’s a relationship skill that is applicable to everyone. I said that I agree that she should break up with him, but she can still reflect on her behavior.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/26 06:25 PM
18

Active addiction is a great reason to break up with a boyfriend. For the future, asking for him to take the dish downstairs could easily be perceived as criticism/nagging and threatens intimacy in the relationship. As you can see it created an opportunity for an argument. It is better to praise what he does that you like rather than nitpick what you don’t like.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/26 06:04 PM
24

If marriage and family are important to you then you should date for marriage now. If you don’t care about ending up alone then it doesn’t really matter who you date. Do you love and respect this man and see yourself marrying him and being together forever?
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/26 05:45 PM
1

You can change how you talk about him to them.
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/26 03:09 AM
2

I guess think about why you feel you need access to his accounts to feel like he trusts you. You can also just deposit your paycheck into the joint account if you don’t want to deal with multiple accounts. Show him you trust him with your money first.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/26 06:52 AM
10

Personally I do not. I’m not that close with anyone IRL who has a relationship I admire and I don’t like people knowing my business lol. Not that I think this is good advice for anyone else.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/26 06:45 AM
1

Just to give a counter example, I was raised totally feminist and progressive and it wasn’t until my 30s that I realized/accepted that I wanted a male-led relationship and started taking steps towards that. Like many others have said the reality of my relationship is not what I had imagined or fantasized, but it is good because it’s real and it is how my partner leads us.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/26 05:09 AM
1

What are her favorite books?
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/26 04:45 AM
–

Are you both satisfied with your relationship?
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/26 08:43 PM
3

Then you shouldn’t marry him.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/26 03:16 PM
8

No because you won’t respect him for staying with you after you treated him like that.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/26 12:02 PM
18

I don’t think this has anything to do with estrogen. You probably need regular exercise, meditation, healthy food, good sleep and proper hydration. Do you feel like you are waiting for your real life to start?
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/26 02:57 AM
–

Because when they say “women” they really mean “these specific women that I’m attracted to” and extrapolate everything they observe about those women to be representative of all women. Also, pretty much every thing about humans exists as a bell curve so there will always be outliers. Just because you can find a lot of people who don’t fit a trend doesn’t mean the trend isn’t there.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/26 02:07 PM
2

If you don’t have a social circle that can introduce you to single men and you don’t like going out you’re kind of left with meeting online so you will need to learn how to engage with men over text. I’d view each interaction as practice where you try different things as you get comfortable with it. Like public speaking or debating, it’s a skill you can learn even if you don’t naturally enjoy it. Or lean in to meeting men irl, but you’re still going to need to be able to keep a conversation goin…
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/26 07:43 PM
1

You could try asking them something about their profile that interested you and made you want to swipe on them.
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/26 06:09 PM
4

Read The Surrendered Single by Laura Doyle
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/26 12:31 PM
8

Unless it’s done in a playful, flirty way AND he takes it as such, then yeah it’s a pretty rude thing to say. You should let him take you out on the types of dates he wants to go on and see how it goes, not come in demanding that they be certain way or cost so much. Lots of people will be offended by talking about money like that right away. What do you expect out of a relationship?
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/26 09:25 PM
1

I think lots of women believe in this but then life doesn't always work out how we want it to, does it? Commitment is inherently risky.
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/26 09:12 PM
0

It's not contradictory, it's male sexual strategy and it's why women should know these things before deciding to hoe around. Lots of men share the opinion that its way better to date women with less baggage. So either find someone who has dealt with their relationship baggage, or someone who doesn't have any yet.
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/26 09:09 PM
2

Right, those are the purely sexually motivated men he's referencing.
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/26 09:07 PM
3

I’d suggest reading The Surrendered Single by Laura Doyle and Marry Him by Lori Gottlieb just to get a good idea about how you should approach dating. I don’t think they will address the underlying issues of avoidant attachment but seeing the opposite behaviors laid out might give you a helpful roadmap. And as hard as it may be, you should really figure what kind of future you want for yourself. If you want marriage and kids those won’t necessarily fall into your lap. You may really have to work…
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/26 04:46 AM
2

How old are you?
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/26 06:11 AM
2

Amazing post! Thanks for linking it.
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/26 06:09 AM
9

Standard advice here is to avoid men who identify as RP or bring it up directly.
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/26 06:50 PM
2

I doubt that a surrogate-like contract would hold up if you’re married and have a child together, in the US. This all sounds like a male supremacist fantasy honestly.
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/26 02:15 AM
2

I’m curious what makes you think that?
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/26 03:15 PM
4

If you don’t feel stuck being with him because you’re totally dependent it may help make the choice to stay with him or not. If you don’t want him how he is right now, and you’re not married, I don’t see why you would stay committed to him.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/26 03:03 AM
2

I’d make plans to move out after you get a job. Having the option to leave may give you clarity about how you want to move forward. Do you want to marry him?
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/26 02:21 AM
4

I disagree. I think men value agreeableness, obedience and submission which to me is under the “making their life easier” umbrella.
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/26 06:28 PM
9

Well, I was only trying to answer the question "what do men value," not "how should a 19 yo behave in their first relationship." And to me "making their life better by being in it" is not equal to "giving husband treatment," but I agree that some people might jump to that conclusion.
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/26 04:38 PM
42

Read the sidebar/Wiki. Read the books Fascinating Womanhood and For Women Only. Also the blog The Rules Revisited is a great resource for women who want to understand men better. Men want good looks, respect, good attitude, you to make their life easier/better by being in it, not bringing drama and negativity into their life. Be someone who can be made happy.
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/26 05:23 AM
1

Totally valid to feel that way. What you experienced is a pretty common difference between how men and women view hookups. And I don’t think you will get a good answer about why she did what she did because it wasn’t done for a good logical reason. She did it because she wasn’t feeling good about herself and for whatever reason (validation, self loathing, just being a hoe) she made these poor choices. It’s now up to you if you can get past knowing this about her or if it will keep popping up and…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/26 10:17 PM
3

It was a bad coping strategy after her breakup likely. She could have binge ate or drank or done drugs or shopped too much. Or she could have gone the other way and restricted food and over exercised. Lots of people have negative coping responses when bad things happen in their lives. It was probably validating in some way, even if she didn’t view him as a relationship prospect. What does this make you think about her? It’s not just that you don’t understand why she did it, it makes you think so…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/26 09:03 PM
3

Agreed. It’s not clear what OP’s problem with her behavior actually is. What about her hooking up with that guy after her break up bothers him so much? That she drove so far? That she wasn’t attracted to him?
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/26 08:49 PM
11

This is something you need to discuss fully, in depth, and at length with your fiancé. You need to map out what the future is going to look like with him and see if you can commit to that. I have two uncles (one on each side) that have been on disability for decades and require assistance from family to varying degrees so I have some idea of what you’re dealing with. My mom made it very clear to her partner that her brother may end up living with her and that was non-negotiable. It’s definitely …
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/26 12:42 AM
23

The skills are for you to be the wife you want to be, not to manufacture a specific outcome (husband stops playing computer games and wants to spend time with you again). Stop thinking about how you want him to change and focus on what you appreciate about him now. Make sure you have an outlet for your worries so you are not coming to him with your anxieties about the future of your relationship. What do you fight about? Is it just that neither of you will back down in a disagreement or are ther…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/26 06:12 PM
1

You have that completely backwards. Men have a lower looks threshold for casual sex than for relationships.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/26 12:24 AM
3

I’ve very rarely identified with any female protagonist so that doesn’t feel like something new that is lacking in media, to me. The thing that annoys me the most is how men are portrayed/assumed to be lazy, entitled, arrogant, unhelpful, and always exploiting the women around them. I find this especially in magazines and online. That just doesn’t align with my experience of any men in my life and it gets so tiresome. The most negative portrayals of women, especially online, also don’t align wit…
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/26 06:18 PM
3

I think the quant guy is actually quite risky for a long term marriage. Marrying a guy with no relationship experience who ends up very successful and you have molded into being more attractive is like asking to be cheated on or divorced so he can see what else is out there. Unless he is the one interested in marriage/kids/family from the start I don’t think it’s a smart move. I personally would never want to be with a man who didn’t have any options and just thought I was the only woman interes…
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/26 05:29 PM
8

They just want to be "comfortable"!
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 09:44 PM
3

One of the wealthiest men I know married the daughter of a Senior Partner at his firm. You think she wasn't looking for a wealthy man?
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 07:11 PM
2

The woman I know who are SAHMs didn’t really have careers before getting married and they are totally happy with their decision. They love and trust their husbands. They have shared family goals and values that they both work towards in different ways. Don’t know if they signed prenups but none feel trapped. I feel like you have a generally negative view of most men and assume that being dependent on a man is a stupid choice and will inevitably lead to being taken advantage of.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 05:19 AM
1

I think there are other options too lol
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/26 03:24 PM
40

What I have heard men say about this is they don’t want to be with a woman who is going to be competitive and always trying to prove how much smarter than everyone else she is in their personal life, and they don’t want to have her be so stressed out and consumed by her job that she cant leave it at the office and the relationship/family always comes second. Even my partner, who wants me to work and is proud of my job, when we were starting to date he told me he didn’t want to be with a woman wh…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/26 05:45 AM
5

If you’re serious about moving to Austin for work I would just start dating there. Plan to travel there as often as possible.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/26 05:25 PM
6

Are you going to move for your industry job? It sounds like you did go on some dates with men in your current city but decided you were not compatible and didn’t want to try to progress to a relationship, is that correct?
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/26 03:35 PM
7

Are you going out on dates with guys, but it doesn’t progress to a relationship or are you not going on dates? Have you read The Surrendered Single by Laura Doyle?
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/26 05:46 AM
12

What have you tried? Like how are you trying to meet men to have a relationship with?
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/26 05:19 AM
2

I would mostly worry about what that timeline would look like, the danger of geriatric paternity in future children, and the how the blending of his first family will go. I have a good family friend who married a very rich man much older than her. They had a wonderful relationship were so in love and adopted a daughter. Then he dropped dead of a heart attack a couple years later. So now she’s rich but the love of her life is gone, her daughter never really met her father and she has no interest …
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/26 09:32 PM
1

Are you saying he wants to have more kids with her/a new wife?
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/26 09:08 PM
5

Generally early/mid-twenties based on dating app data that is generally accepted as accurate. However there’s lots of reasons an individual was not in their prime in their twenties so they may be objectively more attractive at an older age, but if they had been in top shape in their twenties, they probably would have been even better looking. And if you take care of yourself/have good genes, you may not physically change drastically as you age. But I don’t think this negates the general concept …
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/26 06:50 PM
3

This is supposed to be the easiest part. You shouldn’t have major compatibility issues to work through before marriage. You are vetting him and it’s not looking peachy.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/26 05:32 AM
29

Not putting down your phone when he talks to you is super disrespectful. It’s rude to do that to anyone let alone the man you supposedly love and respect. Fretting about his income instead of trusting his vision of your life together is disrespectful. If you’re not aligned on financial values it will be a constant source of resentment in the relationship and can lead to divorce. Him not being as ambitious as you is not necessarily a fault in him, but it may cause further disrespect from you. The…
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/26 05:16 AM
1

Being so freaked out about cleaners coming to your house is not normal. Also you rejected your husband’s solution to this problem which is not letting him lead. Your decision to remain stressed about house cleaning when there’s a solution at hand is controlling and rigid.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 03:55 PM
3

That doesn’t sound fair that he expects you to read his mind when he’s upset and not use his words. I would keep telling him you can’t be responsible for his emotions and actions, if that is what he is asking for. But also be loving and supportive in ways you know he likes. I think it’s normal to offer support when you know he’s upset (like listening to him, give him a massage, make him a drink, etc., basically being present for him), or just ask if there’s anything you can do. Are there other t…
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 03:41 PM
18

I think the problem would arise if you’re doing all this stuff “for him” and not getting your own satisfaction out of your shared sex life. If there are things you both “need” sexually, then sex and kink will feel like a respite from those life stressors, not something additional that further depletes your energy. Sex with him should be something you’re looking forward to, it should be rejuvenating, not another chore. Do you feel like you have a low libido? Are you on hormonal birth control? Do …
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 03:28 PM
7

I wonder if he really needs as much support as you think he does or are you over compensating when he’s upset about something? You haven’t provided much information so I’m just guessing. Do you feel responsible for his emotions? Is he asking you for specific support?
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 03:13 PM
1

That seems pretty controlling and perhaps somewhat perfectionist. I think you need to work on relinquishing control in your relationship. You should definitely read Laura Doyle as has been recommended by others here.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 03:04 PM
14

I don’t understand why you are working so hard to salvage this relationship when you’re not married. You don’t want to be with him the way he behaves now. You want him to change before you feel ok marrying him. That means you should leave.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 04:15 AM
3

We both wfh 100% so we’re always around each other lol. I’m often done with work earlier so I try to do a work out in the basement gym and then start dinner so we can eat and then spend the evening relaxing together. He prefers to keep the house pretty cool as he runs warmer than me so I kinda end up bundling up year round indoors, but I try to dress up a bit if we leave to do errands. I’ll dress up when we go out for dinner. Kinda unexpectedly, he compliments me more when I’m dressed to workout…
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 04:09 AM
2

I think you’re being downvoted because you rejected his solution. Why don’t you try getting a cleaner and see how it goes instead of assuming it will create more work for you?
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 03:54 AM
3

Did you read that post? Nowhere does it say “men just want 20 something women.” Youth is an asset and you have been squandering yours with a man you don’t want to marry. What this means is you can’t rely on your youth as much in dating new men. You need to have other assets as well. Why don’t you look at the constant stream of posts of young women worrying about aging out of dating and read the comments there. There is a big difference between “youth is something all men are attracted to” and “y…
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/26 10:14 PM
3

No one says that here, what are you talking about.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/26 03:12 AM
4

That’s up to you. Youth is a factor that men are attracted to, not the only one. You need to have positive RMV traits too.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/26 03:11 AM
3

Right I wasn’t suggesting you test the waters now lol. Some women have a pretty negative view of men generally and believe it’s very hard to find a good man. If that was your feeling I would suggest staying with your current boyfriend. As things are now it doesn’t seem like you have much to lose leaving him. Moving back to NJ would be the biggest hurdle.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/26 08:57 PM
5

Do you think you can find a man you get along with better than him?
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/26 06:41 PM
5

It’s not petty to stop giving gifts to someone who doesn’t reciprocate.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/26 05:20 PM
8

The realities of the Wall do not supersede a wholly unsuitable relationship. What do you bring to the table in this relationship? Why haven’t you gotten married after 10 years?
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/26 05:16 PM
1

That is the Red Pill woman have to swallow.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/26 06:00 PM
1

You may find these posts helpful: Submissive Behavior as Strategy and Incremental Reciprocation. Has your boyfriend ever shown any protector or provider behavior while you have been together?
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/26 05:26 PM
2

I think he's talking about how some people harp on women having zero options after the Wall, not that younger women aren't generally the most attractive to all men.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/26 05:12 PM
16

You shouldn't continue to give him gifts expecting a different outcome. It seems like you care about this much more than him. It sounds like he told you that they are not meaningful to him, but you continued to give him gifts and cards because you wanted them. Give yourself a gift if you want one. If he says something you can always say "I can't be the only one giving gifts in our marriage." If you are truly trying to work on your marriage, figure out how to express your love, respect and admira…
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/26 05:08 PM
3

Probably one of the best things you can do is let him feel how he feels without making it about you. If you aren’t doing anything wrong don’t try to take responsibility for his emotions. If you are doing something wrong, change it or even just acknowledge it. If you’re feeling crummy before your period just say what is happening and that your hormonal issues are not a reflection of him at all and that you are doing everything you can to take care of yourself. Try telling him that you’re grateful…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/26 08:06 PM
7

I think what you are seeing here is how men and women perceive respect differently. You may see these things as sharing information or just common sense, while he takes them as criticisms and disrespect. This is why you need to decide if doing things your way is worth the cost of intimacy/disrespect of criticizing him. When it comes to a safety or health issue, most people would agree it’s worth speaking up, but often there are many areas where we are insisting on on own way when it’s not worth …
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/26 07:37 PM
3

Especially with the label “Red Pill”, it means very different things to different people. It wouldn’t be clear what a man even meant if he brought it up.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/26 07:13 PM
6

I was a lot like you when I was younger and assumed that the men I liked would naturally build themselves up and we would level up together towards shared goals. It did not work out and I ended up surpassing my two serious LTRs and eventually breaking up because they were stuck and my attempts at supporting them ended up enabling them to stay where they were. And they would eventually resent me for being the more successful one. I’m not sure where to draw the line exactly between supporting and …
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/26 06:09 AM
9

Be polite, distant, and respectful. Treat him like any other acquaintance but avoid being directly in his presence as much as possible. Do not give him the gift. If you can’t control your behavior or emotions when he’s around, then leave and don’t go to these events until you’re able to conduct yourself in a neutral ladylike manner.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/26 07:01 PM
6

You live in different countries right? Best case scenario, what do you even want to happen here?
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/26 03:05 AM
2

Another resource is the “CODA Patterns and Characteristics” which can help one recognize codependency in oneself.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/26 02:39 AM
4

It doesn't sound like he is able (or perhaps willing) to have an actual relationship with you.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/26 11:12 PM
–

Because young men need health male guidance, not validation from women.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/26 09:07 PM
–

Yes you should talk to other men about how you are feeling.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/26 08:36 PM
–

From your posts and comments you seem like a male. You should talk about these issues with male friends and mentors, not women.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/26 08:28 PM
11

Then don’t put yourself in a situation where you feel like you can’t say “no.”
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/26 09:49 PM
8

If it’s important for you that you’re aligned politically then you need to have a direct conversation about it. You should consider what your major dealbreakers are and try to find out where he stands on them. I would ask open ended questions about what he actually thinks about certain things. Like what does he actually like about Musk? What are his political values (social and economic)? Is he (and are you) able to have a discussion with out it turning into an argument or debate?
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/26 09:46 PM
7

Do not feel obligated to stay overnight just because he’s traveling to see you. You should stay overnight if you want to sleep with him. That’s the only reason to stay overnight.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/26 08:02 PM
40

You don’t have to do anything you don’t want. AND, agreeing to stay overnight with someone you’re seeing romantically is a signal you’re open to sex. If you’re not open to having sex with him you wouldn’t stay over. You would make it clear that you’ll be going back to your house to sleep.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/26 06:54 PM
12

Have you read through the Wiki/Sidebar resources? What brought you here? Are there any resources/content you have liked or found helpful? How old are you and what type of relationship are you looking for?
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 01:03 AM
9

I think this is just part of dating. Most interactions don’t go anywhere. You’re both figuring each other out and seeing if it works. Dating long distance like this gives more opportunities for both people to kind of go forward with blinders on and fill in any gaps with what you hope is true and to tell the other person what they want to hear to keep things progressing. You just need to keep meeting men and do not over invest in someone who isn’t local. I actually met my partner online and we we…
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/26 07:11 PM
2

From my experience, men don't really care a lot about your specific job/career unless it becomes an issue in your life and thus, your relationships. If it's causing you stress or is a source of drama, then men will care. If you have to work late all the time and travel a lot, they will care. Unless you truly hate your job you should stay there, don't try to advance more than you want to, save/invest as much as you can and learn to be calm and serene instead of letting job stuff get to you and br…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/26 05:41 PM
7

I think it’s certainly a valuable asset to men, but also I think OP is conflating Social Proof with something else that I’m sure there’s a term for but I don’t know what it is. It’s when your RMV traits reflect positively on him to his friends, family and colleagues due to how well you interact with them. It’s more in-depth and personal than just being seen together publicly. Like being a social asset to him?
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/26 02:59 AM
6

I think it is a mature choice to try to keep your dating pool as wide as possible, but it’s also good to know the likely impact of your traits. Definitely keep your filters wide, but don’t expect to change a man’s mind if he’s decided you’re above him. I think a man should be impressed but not intimidated when meeting their future wife.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/26 05:05 AM
3

Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised if he finds he can't get past her ending their correspondence while traveling, even if she did communicate about it at the time. Sometimes timing just isn't right!
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/26 09:03 PM
3

Consistency. You have to show him you're loyal and reliable. Not sure if it can be salvaged now given what happened. You also need to give it time. It's been less than a day since your first date since you've been back.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/26 07:59 PM
19

I think you need to accept that getting a PhD is going to limit your dating pool, not expand it, and not try to date men who are intimidated by that. Most men don't really want to date women who are more successful/educated then them because it makes them feel like a loser instead of someone who is admired and respected by their girl. This isn't 100% of men, but it's enough that it's a pretty good bet. I don't think it's unusual to be feminine and educated. I actually think that pursing a libera…
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/26 07:27 PM
1

My point was that regardless of how honest these men online are being, a woman losing those men’s attraction due to aging will still have so much interest overall that the impact on her will likely be minimal. So a woman using the amount of interest she’s getting in her 30’s and 40’s isn’t a good barometer for what percentage of men are no longer attracted to her as she ages. To her it feels like nothing has changed even if 50% of men are no longer attracted. And likewise, because it is antisoci…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/26 05:32 PM
2

Most men are not openly hostile to women they're not attracted to, they just ignore. So there isn't the same vitriol IRL that is seen online. I think it's very hard for women to even realize when they are losing the attraction of some men as they age because there is still more interest than she could even begin to reciprocate.
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/26 06:49 PM
2

Yeah, having low self esteem or self confidence can perpetuate bad relationship decisions so it’s definitely worth it to work on those. And it’s ok to work on yourself for the goal of having a healthy and fulfilling relationship, if that is truly your motivation. I know that’s not the “perfect” mindset of doing self improvement just for yourself, but it’s better to be honest with yourself and actually make progress than try to do everything the right way.
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/26 04:09 PM
3

Do you ever ask your friends for dating advice?
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/26 03:41 PM
4

Dating below your league can really backfire because the man will often end up resenting the disparity or the feeling of being beneath you. Men want to be genuinely respected and admired by their partners, not pitied and coddled. Having low or no standards for men makes them feel like you don’t think they’re capable of more. This is one reason men tend to date across and down.
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/26 02:55 PM
11

There’s a difference between men being attracted to young women and men thinking anyone over 30 is a used up gross hag. Yes basically all men are attracted to young beautiful fertile women.
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/26 04:48 AM
4

I don’t really know what the right advice here is, but there is a big difference between respectfully bringing up a concern as a First Mate should, and the “fretting and nagging” you are worried about. If you have different risk tolerance in finances now is the time to figure that out. Now (your twenties) is also the best time to make financial mistakes as well as the best time to be investing for the long haul. Financial issues are the reason for most divorces so it’s in both your interests to …
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/26 02:30 AM
15

No not at all. I’ve never had any man be rude to my face after turning 30. I’ve never experienced anything IRL that is anything like what negative manosphere guys say life is like for women after they hit The Wall.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/26 07:20 PM
7

It seems like you have very black and white thinking and place great deal of importance on social media. What about all the couples who never post on social media? Most people in the world are not broadcasting their lives online.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/26 02:43 AM
5

Invite her to do something/go to an event you think she would enjoy. Invite her to a dinner party or brunch at your home. Do you have any shared interests outside of work?
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/26 02:04 AM
2

You haven’t given any specific information that anyone can give advice on. Don’t try to contact either of them. You need to get yourself under control, figure out what your issues are and plan concrete steps to address them. Just try to relax, get your emotions under control and stop ruminating on what you feel you need to fix. You won’t be able to make progress until you can think about these problems with more logic and less emotion.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/26 09:01 PM
6

I think you should read the wiki/sidebar materials and see how they resonate with you. It seems like you have a generally negative view of men which is not something we support here, but that doesn’t mean that the information and strategies here can’t be helpful for you.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/26 06:59 PM
6

Definitely not. There are lots of men who will want to prioritize peace at home over political debates. My partner and I had some political discussions early on while getting to know each other to see where we stood, and we will discuss news items occasionally, but I made it very clear that I didn’t want a home where there was a lot of political discussion and debate because that’s how I grew up and I despised it. He was wholly on board and relieved that we wouldn’t need to have a daily airing o…
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/26 06:35 AM
1

Why are you listening to them?
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/26 12:31 AM
5

Don’t push him. Accept him for who he is now, don’t expect him to change. Respect how he wants to be treated and interact with you. I think what he fears is partly true in that when a man seems to be “falling apart” and not in control of their emotions and their life, it’s very scary for their partner to see them that way and can change the way they are viewed. There is a huge spectrum here on both sides though. Some women can’t stand to see any weakness in their man and that is unreasonable. So…
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/26 05:48 PM
10

You should ignore them. I’m not sure where you’re coming across these comments but I don’t see anything like this unless I seek it out so perhaps you need to curate your online presence more rigorously. I would also like to say that I believe that men should have their own spaces where they can talk about their issues and be as negative and harsh as they want to be. If you’re deliberately going into these spaces and getting offended by what they are saying, then it’s kinda on you. If their negat…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/26 07:31 PM
5

You can’t control how others react to your content. Some of the stuff you’re saying (be more authentic in dating) is basically opposite to TRP advice (be attractive, don’t be unattractive) so there will be lots of backlash about those specific topics. Perhaps spend time or even make a video exploring these topics where you get backlash to see their side. Being authentic in dating is higher level advice than a lot of people will be ready for, because first many people need to understand themselve…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/26 04:13 PM
1

If you’re attracted and into someone things like this won’t bother you and you’ll think they’re cute. If he’s irritating you at this point I’d think there’s not much natural attraction on your part. It’s possible that you might be attracted to him in person, but it’s definitely a gamble. Does he know you’re interested in him?
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/26 12:29 AM
3

Men like women who look up to them, so the fact that you are from a lower class but have elevated yourself may be a positive to him. He may also believe that you will be less likely to take what he can offer you for granted, the way a woman of his same class could be more likely to do.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/26 06:05 PM
62

You don’t know what you can bring to his life, that is meaningful, and isn’t of direct monetary value? What about love, respect, emotional support, fun, connection, conversation, companionship, social capital, deference, admiration. Not to mention all the tangible things he probably wants like sex, marriage, and family, you know, the stuff men truly need women for…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/26 06:40 AM
7

It’s really unclear what your intent with this post is. It comes across as you lashing out at an imaginary person who embodies the negative aspects of modern feminist western society, which seems like a waste of your energy. If this is about a person in your life, then you can stop giving them so much mental energy. Other people’s lives are not about you. Perhaps instead of venting like this you could reflect on what the things you are grateful for in your life.
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/25 10:29 PM
7

I don’t think you need to disparage people who choose a life path that is different from yours. You can speak positively about your situation without tearing down others.
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/25 10:09 PM
6

Grow up.
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/25 07:31 PM
4

You probably shouldn’t be talking to RPM on whatever server about your sexual history. You’re very unlikely to get good advice from there.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/25 11:16 PM
11

In addition to what others have said, you should be cooking now as much as you can. It’s healthier, cheaper, and you will want to be comfortable in the kitchen when you do meet a man who you want to cook for. I think having the correct mindset and desire to have a healthy, respectful relationship, and ability to follow through on that are more important than having a license or your credit score. But you do need to have RMV traits that offset those things.
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/25 06:56 PM
4

While some men like this, there are A LOT who will get tired of games like this. It's one thing to be playful, but actual bitchiness and attitude is a turn off for most men if they are serious about you.
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/25 06:28 PM
2

Everything you are suggesting here would take a huge amount of creativity and self motivation that I think it’s unrealistic advice for most young people. And at least in the US, your chance of getting scholarships is much higher straight out of high school, so not going directly to college can end up costing more. Most people who are successful in early Financial Independence go to school, get a degree, a high paying corporate job, and then save/invest aggressively. Then they might go back and l…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 05:21 PM
9

It’s really weird how much she is concerned about what he thinks. Perhaps there is a tsundere situation going on and she’s mad he isn’t leaving his girlfriend for her when she’s right there and single.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 05:07 PM
0

If that type of thing is happening regularly then he may just be at the end of his rope with feeling disrespected and so is now kind of lashing out in hurt about things that are benign but will feel like further disrespect or toeing the line, like coming home exactly at the outside limit of when he said to be home.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 04:54 PM
21

You’re talking about your dating life in public in a group setting and you’re offended that a person felt they could comment on the topic of conversation? You seem to be looking for a reason to be angry at this guy.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 01:55 PM
4

It really doesn’t sound like you are doing anything disrespectful here, but I have learned that men and women naturally see different things as respectful/disrespectful. For example, lots of women will continue to talk about something after a decision has been made. A man will usually take that as questioning the decision and trying to get it changed (disrespect) whereas a woman might just be still talking to continue a conversation (connection), to get thoughts out of her head, or just because …
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 01:47 PM
–

You obviously don’t understand and don’t care what RPW is about. We actually discourage women from dating RP men. I challenge you to find any positive comments about Tate on this sub.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 10:02 AM
3

Who cares?
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 06:00 AM
9

I think it’s just really difficult to find the right person to commit to in one’s early twenties, for lots of different reasons. Most people I know who married in their twenties ended up divorced. Actually thinking about it, everyone divorced except three of my cousins. I think it is ideal to meet a good man and both commit as early as possible, but I also think that ends up being unrealistic advice for lots and lots of people.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/25 09:07 PM
9

You are giving financial advice. But I see that you’re saying to use money you earn from a job to also invest in building passive income, which I do agree is good advice if you can manage it. It seemed like you were saying young women shouldn’t work but should somehow only make passive income, somehow. I see secondary education as more of a class marker than necessarily preparation for a career, and not really negotiable. Like the only people who don’t go to college (among my family and peers) h…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/25 08:02 PM
5

What passive income streams do you suggest for an 18 yeah old high school graduate?
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/25 05:29 PM
1

Don’t you have male friends you can talk to instead?
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/25 02:53 AM
1

His boundary is unreasonable and is preventing you from accessing medical care. Yes it's wrong to lie to and mislead your man, but he is putting you in an lose/lose situation and not being a good leader here. He is putting his feelings and preferences above your literal physical well being.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/25 08:32 PM
5

Maybe stop worrying so much about what others are doing.
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/25 01:03 AM
3

I will just say one last thing that even though looks are important to men, it’s not everything. I know I am objectively not the most attractive woman my partner has been in a relationship with, but I also know that we have the best relationship he has ever had and he tells me how grateful he is to be with me because of how I treat him and the type of relationship we have.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 08:54 PM
4

There’s a difference between lusting after other women and recognizing that other women are attractive. A good man wouldn’t rub it in your face, but again, it’s unrealistic to expect a man to not ever have attraction to or notice another woman is beautiful. Just like you will notice that other men are more attractive, more ripped, smarter, richer, more charismatic than your husband. That shouldn’t diminish your love, respect and affection for him the way that the existence of younger beautiful w…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 08:24 PM
3

ugh I think you’re right. I was hoping it wasn’t actually that but her comments really look like this is a fetish situation.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 07:33 PM
3

Actually looking at your recent comments I think you are willfully engaging in feederism which I find abhorrent. This is an abusive fetish and you should not inflict it on anyone else.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 07:31 PM
5

This is the “Red Pill” for women, the harsh truth that one must accept. Men value looks and fertility and both deteriorate with age. It doesn’t mean that all hope is lost once we reach a certain age, as you can see from the responses, but it also doesn’t do us women any good to ignore this information and pretend that youth and beauty are not important to men, just to make ourselves feel better. “Men” will always be attracted to young beautiful women, but that doesn’t mean that a man won’t fall …
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 07:22 PM
12

I do think it’s weird to feel like you want to “egg him on” in something that could be unhealthy. The fact that you feel validated by having him eat unhealthy foods and being more submissive is kind of creepy and could be bordering on feederism. And as others pointed out, this is likely to lead to you losing attraction to him if it continues. So just be aware of the dangers of going too far down this path of increasing his reliance on you. On the other hand, I don’t know why you think it’s up to…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 04:53 PM
2

Yes it’s normally reserved for communicating with someone you’re not able to go no contact with for whatever reason, so I don’t really understand why she does this to her husband.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 01:07 AM
4

Grey rocking is rude. I’m not saying it may not be warranted, but it’s not a polite way to treat anyone. So you may need to own how your actions come across to him. Try saying “I can’t” to anything that will make you feel resentful. If you can’t spend time with his family without resentment then say “I can’t.” If you have “lost your filter” because of being at your limit and you speak and behave disrespectfully, then you need to take better care of yourself so you are able to be in control of yo…
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/25 06:03 PM
3

Most guys over 25 do not say they wouldn’t want to date a woman over 25. A few loud mouth assholes do say that, but you don’t have to date them.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/25 05:32 PM
8

It’s not as black a white as that but there’s a degree of truth. Now is probably the time when you are your most attractive, so it behooves you to leverage this opportunity to attract the highest quality man you can and secure commitment via high RMV traits. If that doesn’t happen for whatever reason, it doesn’t mean you can’t start a relationship later in life, but you may not be able to attract the same quality of men that you can now. Or maybe you will, who knows? These are generalizations. I…
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/25 04:53 PM
1

Some times it takes a while to be ready to meet the right person and be in a good relationship. You don’t have all the time in the world, but I believe that taking more time is better than committing to the wrong man. Some people need more help, more time, their journey is harder to get to the same destination. For me it did work out and in large part because I never gave up, I never seriously considered that just because I wasn’t in my twenties anymore I wouldn’t find a wonderful man to be in a…
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/25 04:42 PM
10

Have you tried Laura Doyle? Her skills give really in depth step by step guidance on how to stop controlling behaviors and what to do instead (usually self care). That would be a good place to start. She has books, a website and a podcast and is suggested as resource here almost daily. ETA: I have also found that focusing on gratitude for what I have is helpful with coping with anxiety, but I’m not generally a highly anxious person.
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/25 10:05 PM
10

I don’t regret working because it was never a question of needing to support myself after graduating. Both my parents always worked and both grandmothers always worked. Their mothers worked too either in a job or on the farm. And they all had families. I ended up not having any children for other reasons but having a career had nothing to do with it. Every mother I am acquainted with except one has some kind of job. I did choose not to attempt a high stress career because I decided I wanted a pe…
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/25 04:39 AM
2

You (and most of the other posters here) are implying that a woman shouldn’t just answer the question “what do you bring to the table?” because it somehow puts her at a disadvantage in having to prove herself to the man. I disagree and I think that the better response is to truthfully respond with answers that you have already thought about. We should know our best qualities and be able to communicate them. I do not believe anything about doing that puts us at a disadvantage. Not answering a sim…
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/25 08:01 PM
1

You (and most of the other posters here) are implying that a woman shouldn’t just answer the question “what do you bring to the table?” because it somehow puts her at a disadvantage in having to prove herself to the man. I disagree and I think that the better response is to truthfully respond with answers that you have already thought about. We should know our best qualities and be able to communicate them. I do not believe anything about doing that puts us at a disadvantage. Not answering a sim…
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/25 07:59 PM
2

Why not just answer the question instead of playing games?
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/25 02:27 PM
4

Talking to your boyfriend isn’t like talking to your girl friends and lots of men are not going to be supportive of your negative feelings ever. He may be helpful in solving a problem but not validating your feelings about things, especially if he thinks you’re upset about something stupid. If you think he’s being too mean in his communication then break up with him, but in the future I wouldn’t expect most men to coddle your negative feelings either. Total bonus if he does but not something tha…
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/25 11:46 PM
2

Yeah if she frames it as something she’s doing for herself, not “for a man”, she would get more support from these friends.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/25 08:33 PM
23

Most people get defensive when you say that you’re doing something different than them. Don’t drink? Don’t eat fast food? Any other type of intentional disciplined lifestyle choice? You will get practically the same response from lots of people which is them reacting with “you think you’re better than me because of that???? Fuck you!!” Anything you do that goes against the herd will likely get the same reaction. Your friends don’t want to feel judged by you and they clearly do. They also probabl…
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/25 04:08 PM
7

Did you? It’s really unclear what is going on lol
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/25 06:12 AM
7

He’s not your husband?
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/25 05:12 AM
1

You seem to be moving goalposts to disprove what I said. No one was talking about giving up job opportunities because of needing to care for their child. She said she has “always set things aside in order to accomodate for my boyfriends and I'm now almost 30 with a chaotic career and overall track record.” If you take a lot of big gambles like that and none of them paid off, someone might think you haven’t shown very good judgment and might not be a great fit for them now. Now someone who really…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/25 10:54 PM
1

She said herself that she has a problem complaining all the time. Not all of our thoughts and feelings should be spoken out loud. STFU is not about ignoring wants or needs, it’s about stopping needless hurtful or disrespectful comments that damage intimacy in a relationship. I’m sure you have seen women do this in your own life.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/25 02:28 PM
3

You can still be polite with men in your social circle without entertaining their supposed interest in you. That means only engaging with them in a group setting and not having one on one conversations. Just treat them like any other man you’re not interested in.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/25 02:19 PM
1

You can wait for the other person to bring it up.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/25 11:07 PM
6

It’s how you legally become family.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/25 02:26 PM
1

This is so true! It’s crazy how often people treat their spouse worse than everyone else in their life! I had the same realization too and it blew my mind.
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/25 10:10 PM
3

Chess club? You need to think about where the type of man you want spends his time. Golf course? Climbing gym? Bookstore? Museum or art gallery? Film festival? Hiking trail? Farmers market? Philosophical Society? Jazz club? Theater? Sports arena?
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/25 10:04 PM
1

If you’re in a bad situation now because you were giving up job opportunities or moving around a lot for relationships that did not last, that is a reflection of poor judgement. It means you sacrificed too much too soon without a good reason. If you did those things for a man that wouldn’t commit to you, or who you decided was not worth committing to, that is poor decision making.
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/25 09:10 PM
4

Why don’t you take a weekend and commit to not complaining and see what happens?
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/25 06:24 AM
9

It kinda depends on how you are now. If you’re currently overbearing, constantly nagging and “helping” him, and always have some disrespectful remark about anything he does, then you may want to really pull back and start deferring to him on everything. If that’s not the case then you may benefit from just expressing gratitude for him and what he does for your family and let him decide while expressing your wishes respectfully. The point of STFU isn’t that all women should always STFU at all tim…
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/25 06:09 AM
2

I love doing Legos too! I just like following instructions lol.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 06:52 PM
3

I completely agree. My partner literally told me yesterday how he bragged to a friend of his about where I went to college. Lots of men care about their woman’s education and career as part of RMV and how it reflects on them. I think many men also find it gratifying to have a high achieving woman submit to them. Men who come here and say job and education are meaningless aren’t speaking for all men.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 06:28 PM
8

I like putting together furniture or stuff like that. It’s like a puzzle.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 04:24 PM
2

I don’t see the problem with having a list of your positive attributes, that men value, that you can articulate when asked. It’s up to you when you think is the appropriate time to share that. I would think about things you have been complimented on by others (especially males), and things you value in yourself. I would avoid anything physical because they would already know what you look like. At the very least it’s a self reflection exercise that will help you take inventory of yourself and he…
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 04:37 AM
4

Do you have an answer to the question?
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 12:47 AM
52

I think every woman should be able to answer this question. If she feels fine telling him what she is looking for, why not be able to answer what she brings at the same time?
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 12:46 AM
1

I personally have found silent meditation or even guided relaxation meditation from YouTube to be helpful when done regularly.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/25 11:42 PM
3

Do you have a mental outlet and a physical outlet for when you’re feeling like you’re spiraling? Maybe some grounding practices? Have you done any therapy around those insecurities? It seems like something to work on regardless of where this relationship goes.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/25 10:25 PM
6

This has not been my experience at all. Your experience is not universal.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/25 08:22 PM
4

I don’t think it’s insecurity to not want to get too involved with a still legally married man. What do you feel you are being insecure about? How do they manifest to you? I think the answer of how to act in the beginning stages of a relationship is to be super honest about what you are looking for and to be the best realistic version of yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/25 08:16 PM
7

Still being legally married is not some random Gen Z red flag. This is a serious issue.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/25 08:08 PM
1

Right you should not expect things to change, which is why it’s not a good idea to marry him if you’re not comfortable with how he is now.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/25 09:12 PM
2

😬
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/25 09:12 PM
2

This is something you really need to reflect and work on because you don’t seem to understand that pushing someone to do things they don’t want to do or are reluctant to do is wrong. Especially posting on social media and especially someone so much younger than you. You do not have the right to have anyone else in your social media just because it boosts your engagement. Their preferences are more important than your social media presence. It’s crazy that you are an adult and have to be told thi…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/25 05:12 PM
6

This is ridiculous you need to stop asking him to do this. He told you he doesn’t want to and you keep pressing him to get what you want. That is a horrible way to treat anyone.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/25 04:21 PM
6

It would never have occurred to me to make that kind of distinction. Almost all the married women I know went to college, worked and pursued their careers while also dating, getting married and then having children. A lot of the women who stopped working met their husbands through work to begin with. I think you have to assume you will need to support yourself for a chunk of your life and you can try to make that as pleasant as possible. I don’t think quitting or changing jobs for a boyfriend is…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/25 04:06 PM
4

I think she may be to focused on “fixing the problem” to asses if it she needs to be the one to fix it.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/25 09:49 PM
12

I think you are expecting too much change from him for an unmarried couple. These are all reasons to breakup now, not to try to get him to change his behavior enough to get married. He has a lot of issues and it’s unlikely that you are going to get him to solve them for you. You have to convince him that he is wrong and you are right, and then he needs to commit to changing how he raises his daughter for you. This is going to cause a lot of resentment from all sides probably.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/25 09:19 PM
1

I think doing too much puts you in a mothering or codependent role that is terrible for relationships. You can contribute a lot without doing “too much” but it is certainly hard to figure out where the line is sometimes. Especially if you are with a “taker” type man.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/25 09:06 PM
3

I would imagine that most men in their twenties will be going through something like this so at your ages it’s not a huge red flag. And yes, seeing how his actions match his words is crucial when getting to know a man. The fact that he was training to be a doctor because of his parents and now seems to not want to finish his degree is kind of alarming. It brings up questions of how much control his parents assert in his life and how he responds to that.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/25 06:52 PM
10

It’s always hard to start dating someone who is in a period of transition or uncertainty because you don’t have history with him to help you understand if this is a temporary setback or a pattern of not following through on his plans. And you have only been dating two months so you don’t know him very well. It really depends on your values and risk tolerance vs how much you like him. Have you talked about what you both want in terms of marriage and kids? Does he have a vision for that in his lif…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/25 04:56 PM
3

If you don’t know this is manipulation and it’s not something to encourage.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/25 10:14 PM
3

Sometimes men resent you for doing so much for them because it makes them feel emasculated. Doing more isn’t always a good strategy.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/25 07:04 PM
3

Sun protection. I’d buy a big hat and nice daily sunscreen. I use La Roche-Posay Anthelios AOX Daily Antioxidant Serum SPF 50, which is HSA eligible. But it really depends on your concerns.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/25 05:15 PM
2

That’s a good point, but it’s not like you guys met at a club and hooked up, and now you’re trying to get him to see you as wife material. It seems like he took you seriously from the beginning, then backed off when you were deciding to move away for your program or not. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with starting a real relationship again now.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/25 11:16 PM
1

What do you mean by “safely”? How do you feel about marrying him?
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/25 10:45 PM
5

You didn't understand what I wrote. Genuineness and kindness are attractive qualities, but by themselves they don't override too many unattractive qualities like insecurity and instability. If a man is genuine and kind, but is out of shape, short, ugly, has bad hygiene, isn't smart or funny, and isn't successful, does just being genuine and kind cancel out all the negative qualities? People like OP act like the only two options in men are the kind loser and the abusive Chad. In reality there are…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/25 09:23 PM
4

Do women actually find men attractive who aren’t confident or dominant, but are genuinely good people? No. Women generally don't find unattractive men to be attractive. Being "genuinely good" is an attractive quality, but by itself it's unlikely to override other unattractive qualities like insecurity (no confidence) and submissiveness (not dominant), financial instability and social awkwardness. That's why the quip for men (and really for everyone) is "Be attractive, don't be unattractive." You…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/25 08:33 PM
1

Making sure the house is clean and calm when he gets home, there's good food available, and you're calm and happy to see him is probably the best way to support him. Maybe start buying Christmas gifts now to reduce that stress for both of you in the future. Plan ahead as far as possible. Sometimes I like to think about things to do for my partner that he can brag about, like things that reflect well back on him. That could be as easy as baking something special for him. If it's appropriate, bake…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/25 04:24 PM
1

My partner and I created a budget of monthly expenses and figured out how much we each would contribute to cover them. We opened a joint account and each contribute monthly and pay our regular expenses from that account. Any unspent funds are rolled over to a savings/brokerage account.
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/25 05:04 PM
5

It doesn’t even have to be ambition but being realistic about what you can and will do. I guess I dated a couple guys who would have these big dreams but when the opportunity came to do them they would be too scared of failure to go for it. It was pretty sad and ultimately an attraction killer.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/25 01:47 AM
3

To add to #1, it's important to allow yourself to be made happy. Kind of awkward wording I know, but I see women who cannot let themselves be pleased by anything, especially anything coming from her husband. They always have some critique or comment on everything. Everything has to be done their way, and then they get upset for "having" to do everything because no on else is up to their standard. Maybe a better wording is "be able to appreciate the things people do for you."
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/25 09:23 PM
13

I would add "No follow through". He may have lots of great ideas and dreams, but is he able to act on any of them? Does he actually walk the walk to achieve the things he wants to do?
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/25 09:17 PM
1

This is certainly a vetting opportunity. How does he deal with stress, how does he handle household responsibilities, what are his personal standards for the home. What does he do when he is working less hours than anticipated? Did you talk about household responsibilities at all before he moved in? "What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You and Your Father Didn't Know: A Practical Guide to Improving Communication Between the Sexes" by John Gray might be helpful to model healthy communication.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/25 09:14 PM
3

You might want to ask the man what he means. They like to be asked stuff like that.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/25 09:08 PM
1

I think that’s true when a man is talking about someone else. I don’t think he would say that to her directly. What’s the point?
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/25 03:26 AM
1

I would have thought by good personality he would have meant positive, authentic, respectful, not argumentative, and fun and interesting (as in not boring or tedious).
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/25 09:41 PM
2

Ah, I thought were saying that they do say things like that. Is there no one in your social circle your interested in? Do you go to college? Do any church activities? How did your parents meet? Do you have girl friends in relationships? How did they meet their boyfriends? If you were raised Christian and with traditional values, then looking into your own community for likeminded men is the best bet. Have you asked your family for ideas? Otherwise look for ways to expand your social circle, like…
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/25 05:49 PM
9

Maybe they're perfect for each other lol
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/25 03:40 PM
18

It seems like you value looks over personality and think having a type holds a lot of meaning. So maybe you’re not compatible if he sees things differently. If he’s dated a certain “type” before and it hasn’t worked out (because he’s single now) then he’s probably looking for other things (like personality) that indicates a better chance at a lasting relationship. You still have to clear his threshold for attraction, but physical attraction isn’t the only thing that he sees in you. Is he the mos…
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/25 12:32 PM
7

Have you accepted any of these introductions? You have to be open to meeting new people if you don't have anyone around that you're interested in.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/25 01:57 AM
3

It's not nothing, but what matters most is the motivation of why you did it, how you feel about it, and how you want to proceed. You can't change the past but you can change the future. Most guys will look at what you are like now and not think about your past much unless you give them a reason to. You must accept yourself as you are now and move forward lovingly and confidently. If some guy is worried you aren't able to pair bond because you slept with 16 guys, then move on. There are a lot mor…
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/25 01:24 AM
2

You should be cautious, but you shouldn’t feel like a pariah. Feeling like you maybe should give up dating because of your count at 16 is being overly dramatic.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 11:59 PM
1

That is what it seemed like you were saying.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 11:56 PM
1

Do you think traditional men are more concerned with the woman being sexually attracted to him than having aligned goals and values?
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 10:44 PM
1

Do you think traditional men are more concerned with the woman being sexually attracted to him than having aligned goals and values?
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 10:44 PM
1

16 at 27 is not especially high.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 10:35 PM
26

Church or family is the traditional way.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 08:53 PM
2

I would take time to think about what you believed that finding a husband and getting married would "solve" for you. What was it about that that you found solace in? Why is it the one thing you care about, and what have you done to get the one thing you care about? You definitely have not lost your chance to be cherished by a man. While youth and beauty are indeed very important attractors, men generally don't love and cherish you *just because* you're young and beautiful. Or if they do, there's…
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 04:30 PM
2

Ok that’s good. There’s not a ton you can do except stand up for your boyfriend when anyone is putting him down or talking behind his back. You can’t force or convince people to like or respect him. You don’t need to argue about it, just say “I’m not going to listen to you disrespect my boyfriend,” and then ignore them or go away or whatever you can do to disengage.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 04:09 AM
1

Does your boyfriend have male friends?
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 11:36 PM
2

Make sure to thank him for doing things that help you and express your gratitude to him for everything he does to take care of you and your family.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 11:30 PM
15

It was not fine then and it’s not fine now. People will just have less patience for your nonsense if you’re not attractive. You don’t have to be all sunshine and rainbows but you need to have positive RMV qualities that make men want to keep you around regardless of what you look like.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 09:47 PM
1

It sounded like you were relieved to think you were broken up. Did he apologize for how he was treating your dog?
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 09:40 PM
5

Not to his child?
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 09:01 PM
2

Add a gratitude/mindfulness/meditation practice to your daily routine.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 02:16 PM
8

It sounds like you need to bring this up with him as a serious issue. You don’t just have to break off the engagement without talking about it.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 02:02 PM
7

It sounds like he is having to convince you that what he’s offering is a good deal but it’s not appealing to you. That is fine. Just because some women would be happy with that arrangement doesn’t mean you have to agree to it. If what he’s offering is so great then he can find another woman who wants the same thing.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 01:37 PM
3

Yeah I never seriously dated a guy with kids, as in, got to the point of meeting any kids. I was always open to it, but it never happened. I ended up with my partner and we both are never married and no kids, which we both appreciate finding although we were both open to divorced people with kids.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/25 04:12 PM
4

I went on a couple dates with a divorced guy with two kids. The dates went pretty well except she called him about issues with his kids both times. The first time it was because his son had gotten in a fight at school, so totally reasonable that he would take the call, and we ended up cutting the date short so he could go handle things. Second date, she called him to figure out Memorial Day plans, and I was like 😑. He also talked about her negatively a lot which seemed unnecessary to me, but I f…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/25 02:45 PM
2

Did you get back together with your ex?
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/25 03:39 AM
14

Idk. It does seem like you’re overreacting if this is a one off. What makes you think this one thing he said one time with no context is revealing how he secretly truly feels about you, despite everything else he has ever said to you and the fact that you are in a heterosexual relationship? I would not keep asking for an explanation, but perhaps address one last time by saying something like “I’m sorry for getting all upset at you when you said that thing, but it did make me feel bad so please d…
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/25 04:36 AM
3

I think you're over thinking. Once my partner said he appreciated that I don't respond to most things in a "typically feminine way", by which he meant I don't catastrophize or get super emotional and anxious when anything happens. Of course I started thinking, "am I too masculine though??? Maybe I should be behaving more emotional and helpless???" Thankfully I settled down and realized he was giving me a genuine compliment, even though it could have been taken negatively, and I think that's what…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/25 06:02 PM
2

If it were me I would keep seeing him and see what happens. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/25 11:54 PM
6

That’s not what I’m reading at all. They met on Tinder, she “lowkey just want[s] to fuck,” and they’ve met up a few times. To me it’s sounds like they’re hooking up and she’s worried about “letting” herself like him and wanting a relationship. Perhaps OP can illuminate us.
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/25 07:08 PM
3

I don’t understand what you mean by you’ve “developed feelings for him but not interest.” Not much harm in continuing what you are already doing since you already started on this path. It’s not likely to work out long term, but things happen. It’s better to keep hooking up with him than lots of random other guys, most likely if you are not trying to keep sex within a committed relationship. If he doesn’t have time for a relationship right now and you start getting clingy and needing more of his …
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/25 05:33 PM
4

How old are you both?
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/25 05:19 PM
3

There was one moment I doubted going forward with my relationship, about 6 months in. I prayed and the answer came to me right away. Obviously, this is just my experience. If prayer doesn’t resonate with you, I’d also recommend meditation or quiet relaxation and listen to your inner voice to clarify your path forward.
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/25 03:28 AM
6

So why not just wear contacts the whole time and keep non-prescription glasses to have on hand for certain times?
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/25 12:40 AM
3

Wait so you don’t want to wear glasses and you don’t want to wear contacts?
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/25 12:06 AM
1

Men have privilege under the patriarchy and capitalism, privilege=oppression, oppression=bad, so men=bad. Yes they viewed themselves as superior to the privileged, oppressive, bad men who control society and government and oppress everyone who doesn’t have their same privilege.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/25 02:13 AM
3

It would be so great if that’s actually what modern feminism was, but as someone speaking from my personal experience being raised in the US feminist movement in Northern California, among women who are quoted in mass media and publish books about feminism, who are members of the National Organization for Women and the National Abortion Federation, I do not believe, from my knowledge and experience, that modern western feminism, in practice, is about gender equality. That is an elementary school…
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/25 08:35 PM
1

Start taking dance classes. Make sure you are smiling when you are out and about. Work on making yourself look and feel approachable. Take every social opportunity to meet new people. If you’re not comfortable flirting don’t push it, just be open and pleasant. I would also really focus on the qualities you want in a husband so you know what you are looking for and think about what you bring to the table that will attract him. Knowledge of niche brands is not likely to be something he cares about…
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/25 03:08 PM
5

Because most feminists also believe that all men are bad and oppressive and if you don’t agree you are a pick me or stupid or brainwashed by the patriarchy and to be pitied. They believe that valuing men devalues women. They believe that women should be the ones in control and men should be subordinate in relationships, families and the general society. They believe that men are faulty women who are poisoned by testosterone and deficient in empathy and therefore unfit to lead.
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/25 02:55 PM
2

It doesn’t happen that often, it’s not like I have to self censor constantly as usually we aren’t discussing feminism or gender related issues. I guess mainly I avoid discussing relationship stuff. I know my mom would like me to ask her for advice and talk about my relationship with her but I’ve never viewed her as a good resource for relationship advice. My other friends aren’t in relationships that I would want to emulate and it’s never been a topic we spent much time on. With my friends the m…
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/25 02:44 PM
10

My mom is a proud feminist, I was raised to be feminist, and most of my female friends are feminists. I just don’t bring up things that I imagine would cause a disagreement. I don’t feel like I need their validation for how I live my life and conduct my relationship. It does mean that I’m not as close to them as I could be I suppose.
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/25 04:22 AM
2

Our situation was very different. We say each other every month and we talked every day in addition to texting. When are you going to see him next?
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/25 06:28 PM
1

It seems like you don’t know each other very well and your main way of communicating (texting) is creating issues for him at least. How do you accidentally make him jealous? The thing with your RMV qualities you mentioned is that they are all rather intangible. Think about concrete things you do. Feeling like you are patient, thoughtful and cheerful isn’t an actual thing or action. How has being patient, thoughtful or cheerful resulted in a specific outcome that benefited your boyfriend or relat…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/25 03:44 PM
1

So all the issues are happening over text? How long have you spent together in person?
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/25 01:45 PM
0

How long have you actually spent together in person? Did the same issues occur? Unfortunately there’s nothing you can do to change his behavior or reactions, that is his responsibility to handle. I’m assuming you’re not doing basic disrespectful things like communicating with exes or partying with other guys (acting single) while he’s gone. To answer your main question in a vacuum, you encourage a man to invest in you by showing that you are worth it. What are your RMV qualities and how do you c…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/25 01:14 PM
4

What is your social life like right now? Do you have a group of friends?
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/25 04:07 AM
2

I don't think it's pointless at all. I know quite a few married couples where one or both are managing a mental illness. Depending on your illness I would get very clear on how you feel about having kids if there is a potential to pass on what you have.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/25 09:54 PM
1

You should probably work on that first. Figure out what you truly want out of life.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/25 08:36 PM
12

You just sound so ungrateful for what you have. You really think that him giving you what you say you want will make you happy? That will just make you lose more respect for him and make you more unhappy and see him as a beta you control. This is a you problem not a him problem. Learn to have some real gratitude for what you have. Maybe go volunteer at UNICEF or something. You honestly sound so spoiled and greedy.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/25 05:53 PM
5

If you want advice on how to train a puppy there are much better resources available. I would not stay in a relationship with this much discord and instability, and I if didn’t trust him to handle things like this calmly.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/25 02:33 AM
7

If it’s against your work policy to date management it seems like very poor judgement to try to secretly date a manager? Why would you entertain that? Why would you try to date someone secretly at all especially if you are trying to find a serious committed LTR?
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/25 02:14 PM
3

What questions is he avoiding?
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/25 04:12 PM
2

You didn’t even want to meet him in person, why would you expect him to want a relationship with you?
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/25 09:12 PM
2

What kind of qualities can you bring day to day in a relationship? Are you level headed or prone to fantasies, calming or neurotic, laid back or dramatic, helpful or selfish? Would you be able to fit in easily to his life, or demand he make a bunch of changes to accommodate you? Would you being in his life make it easier or more difficult day to day? Honesty about your past is a positive trait. What have you done to move past that behavior? It definitely sounds like you have some self esteem iss…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/25 08:20 PM
10

What are your positive qualities? What do you bring to the table that would make a man want to keep you around/in a relationship? Also, I didn’t mean to imply you had to have sex with him if you didn’t want to, just that there’s no strategic benefit to not having sex if you want to, when you already did. And having already done so isn’t exactly a bad thing, it means you’re passionate about him, which is a good thing.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/25 02:11 AM
23

Yes, if I liked him and wanted to keep seeing him, I would show up to the date. You already slept with him so pulling back on that now is not going to benefit you at all. Why are you worried you're never going to see him again after his trip? Are you a keeper or not?
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/25 08:37 PM
1

Unfortunately, I've been in a similar place, so I understand a bit what you're feeling. It's terrible and I'm so sorry. I ended up going on antidepressants for a while because i couldn't stop crying and kinda felt like I was having a breakdown. So while you shouldn't wallow in the pain, definitely take it seriously and see a doctor if you need to. It's another reason to block him and avoid him as much as possible to help you heal right now. If you're still seeing him or checking in on him it wil…
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/25 05:53 PM
3

Being a bit naive and trusting is a good thing. It's not wrong to see the good in the world and trust in the goodness of the people around you. It is certainly jarring to then encounter someone who seems to have no limit to how badly they will treat you or others, who will do things that you cannot fathom. But that doesn't need to destroy your good nature or your ability to trust someone else. He was trying to have an experience of having a new girl fall in love with him and the natural effect t…
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/25 04:38 PM
7

Why don’t you go and (try to) relax and see what happens?
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/25 04:26 AM
2

At the same time, I was very much raised to stay pure for marriage. It's not that sex and bodies are shameful, but an alpha man is going to want a pure girl as the wife and mother of his children. In my experience, the most "alpha" men I've known married sexually adventurous women and "tamed" them to be their "personal slut." I guess this lines up with others saying that people seem to pair by similar levels of experience. Also, I'm only able to know this because these people discussed it. So if…
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/25 04:26 PM
5

Most women also cook for family, friends and community members, not just their husbands. Bringing a date a homemade treat is showing what you bring to the table/your RMV.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/25 02:15 PM
1

I’m sorry, I’m sure you’re coming from a good place with this suggestion but, 1. RPW is not a resource for men, and 2. looking to women to tell you how to behave is actually the opposite of what you should be doing to be a good leader in a relationship. You should be developing your internal mental point of origin, your own mission, your vision of the life you want and how a woman fits into that. It’s fine to check in on what women say about what they want to see a different perspective, but the…
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/25 02:07 PM
5

He said he doesn’t want a relationship with you. What are you “fighting for”?
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/25 06:16 PM
3

First you should block the ex wherever you reasonably can. And you should probably wait a bit to start looking on Bumble. How would you feel if you went out with a guy who was secretly devastated that just a couple days ago the girl he’s hung up on told him to stop waiting for her? Probably you wouldn’t feel very good, perhaps like you’re being used to prop up his self esteem. So don’t do that to others. (eta: This is something lots of guys will feel is very disrespectful, so be aware of that.) …
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/25 07:48 PM
1

not making sure there was a future to be had. I definitely resonate with this! I was always looking at "do we get along right now" and not even thinking about "what do I want my future to look like". It's a very different mindset! And yeah, I think for every woman demanding a date pay for her rent or whatever, there are those of use who really struggle with receiving or not wanting to seem like a gold digger to our own detriment. I know my partner loves providing for me, but partly because it's …
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/25 06:03 PM
1

The housing and lack (?) of income seem like really big things to overlook in the initial vetting. What types of things did you vet him on that he passed? Also, you may be looking back at him overly harshly. The housing situation is indeed dire and reason enough to choose not to proceed, but going on weekend road trips, haunting estate sales, and planning to get a Master's Degree at 55 aren't objectively negative things and you don't seem to actually know what his financial situation is. I'm not…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/25 04:17 PM
7

Ok I see. I didn’t understand that you were going on both Saturdays and Sundays. If you are happy to keep doing that I don’t see what he would complain about unless he wants to do other things with you on Saturday. I still think that if you are both very devoted to your separate churches it will cause issues when you are married and have kids if you want church to be a big part of your lives. I think that would only work if religion is a more private matter for you both and the social aspect is …
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/25 02:59 AM
17

You need to be able to keep yourself happy when he’s not around, for whatever reason. You should be using this break for self care and to think about the root of your problems and how to address them as well. I would not have chosen someone from a denomination that was so different if the way your denomination practices is so important to you. If neither one of you is willing to join the other’s church, that could become a big problem. What happens when you have kids? Figure out ways of dealing …
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/25 02:40 AM
5

He definitely seems like a weirdo.
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/25 06:12 PM
15

If you’re not pregnant and you don’t need him to support you, why on earth would you proceed with a marriage that you are questioning and that makes you nervous? He’s slapping you when he’s upset with you. That is not normal. Every relationship will have trade offs, but this is not one of them.
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/25 02:33 AM
1

I feel like if you try to talk to him now he will just say what he thinks you want to hear. Is he conflict averse with you or does he know what he wants and asserts himself?
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/25 03:56 AM
2

There must be a reason you have stayed when this has been going on from the beginning. What are his positive attributes and do you think they have outweighed these negatives? Does he talk about marriage and a family with you? Do you know if he even wants that?
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/25 12:59 AM
1

I guess I don’t see the need to specifically identify as anything one way or another, but I also don’t have people asking me about having kids, which I understand happens to other women. My priority was not having a baby outside of marriage and then it took a long time to figure out how to find a suitable partner (with tons of help from RPW of course!). Now that I’m with someone I would have kids with, we both feel like we’re old enough that it feels like we just missed the opportunity, and we a…
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/25 10:38 AM
1

I don’t have kids and I’m not planning to, but I certainly don’t identify as “childfree” and have no idea about what that kind of social media content would be. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Isn’t it people complaining about children being allowed in airplanes and restaurants and that kind of thing?
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/25 02:03 AM
3

This isn't totally true. While you can't set boundaries for others, a couple can decide together what are boundaries in their relationship. It's not only about your own behavior.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/25 03:45 PM
4

I'm curious about how you are equating masturbation with using porn. That seems fairly common in these discussions. Why not masturbate without watching porn? Is that unrealistic? I'm truly asking in a non judgmental way.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/25 07:11 PM
2

Aha. Yeah, my parents separated when I was 6. I love them, but I don’t look to them for relationship advice. Are there other older couples or family members that you know who could help you meet suitable men? As for hobbies, doing some sports or outdoor activities is can be a good way to meet guys, as long as you can find coed groups. I know my partner really likes that I enjoy exercising and doing outdoorsy stuff with him. Having healthy activities to do together is an essential element for a g…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/25 06:45 PM
2

Have you asked your parents where they think you should look to meet men? If you look up the them and their relationship, I think they could be a great resource for you.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/25 06:23 PM
1

Even if everything he said is true, that means you’re in a relationship where he hides where he’s going and who he’s with because he assumes you can’t handle the truth of how he conducts his life. This would also not be healthy for either of you, but odds are he was cheating.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/25 06:17 PM
3

Also they grew up with men’s RP lingo being fairly widely used online. They could have been hearing about the Wall and how women age like milk since at least junior high, if not earlier.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/25 06:11 PM
2

There’s definitely a big difference between attracting a woman and facilitating a good relationship. Lots of high value BP guys mess up the marriage by giving in too much to the wife and neutering themselves, losing their wife’s attraction. MRP is full of those stories. I think lots of BP men look at a marriage as sealing the deal, and don’t realize that their work never ends. Of course since this is RPW, we are looking at things from the woman’s side of what we can do to facilitate a successful…
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/25 08:25 PM
5

Where do you try to meet men? Are you looking for men in your “league” or are you only interested in the most conventionally attractive men? How is your RMV? Have you ever had a guy basically say that you’re so great but he’s just not attracted to you?
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/25 04:38 PM
3

He seems to have big trust issues that he’s taking out on you. Did you do anything to cause him to distrust you to the extent of him making you leave two separate jobs because he suspects you might do something he disapproves of? If his distrust is as baseless and unhinged as it sounds from this post, I don’t think there’s much you can do. It’s his hang up to deal with and he only will if he thinks it’s a problem.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/25 10:32 PM
2

Some men do “only” want sex and that is fine for them. That’s why people do casual hookups. I think it’s clear he only wanted sex from the ex and the girls in Cuba, but it doesn’t seem like he only wants sex from OP, it seems like he wants a relationship and sex. Most men want a relationship and sex. If they were in a relationship and he didn’t want sex from her I’m sure that would be a problem for her. Him wanting sex is not the problem here and it muddies the waters to focus on that and ignore…
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/25 09:59 PM
3

But look where that poster jumped to “all he wants is sex,” which is demonizing men for prioritizing sex. This man doesn’t seem to “only want sex,” he wants a relationship and sex. Whenever a man clearly wants sex women tend to rush to “he only wants sex”. That’s like a man saying “she only wants your money” about women who expect men to pay for dates. It’s not really the whole story.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/25 03:15 AM
7

The thing is, you don't need to be fair about how how you feel about this. The whole thing is a mess. You have different expectations on intimacy outside of a relationship. That doesn't mean either of you are wrong, but you may not be compatible. Him being successful with other women while pursuing you didn't increase your attraction to him. If you do proceed with a relationship with him you are going to have to let all this go 100%, and that may not be possible for you. This doesn't seem like a…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/25 07:24 PM
2

Oh I didn't even think of him opening the door to let me out. Yeah that seems like it would be annoying! Also, cars are so close together in lots of spaces, having an extra person getting in the way isn't helping anyone at that point.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/25 06:58 PM
3

Just keep in mind that lots of women bristle at these gestures these days so he may have been taught by other women to stop doing them. When I started seeing my partner and we were out in a crowd he would take my hand and lead me through, and I would stay close walking behind him. After that happened a few times he told me how grateful he was that I would do that and not flip out on him for leaning in to his protectiveness as previous women had done in the same situation. He usually walks on the…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/25 06:25 PM
15

If you have two women with the same intellect, education, prospects, passion and background, but one of them is submissive and deferential and the other one is bitchy, disrespectful and impossible to please, which of the two do you think will have the more successful and rewarding relationship?
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/25 04:21 AM
4

I'm in a similar situation and I did move. However, I was moving closer to my family, which was a goal of mine outside of the relationship (I had moved across the country for college when I was 18). I was able to get enthusiastic permission from my supervisor to work 100% remotely so I kept my job. I got permission to be fully remote about a year after we met and then moved three months later, which was kind of fast, but I didn't see any reason to delay once I got the OK. If I didn't get that pe…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/25 09:53 PM
2

And it sounds like it's only come up in the moment. It's not something they have openly discussed and agreed it's something they both want to be a feature in their relationship. And it sounds like it might be too early for that conversation to be productive.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/25 04:59 PM
5

Ok, then I think you are expecting too much from him at this point. Right now you are learning (vetting) how he will naturally handle these situations. If your relationship does progress and you have actual conversations about how you both want the relationship to be structured and what both of your roles will be (like actually talk in detail about desires and expectations, not hoping you both will read each others minds about what you each want in the relationship), that is a good time to bring…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/25 04:53 PM
3

What did he say when you told him that sometimes you want him to make the decision for both of you? Did he agree to do that? Was there a discussion or did you just tell him that? How often does this come up? Have you ever complained about his choice after one of these instances?
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/25 12:11 PM
3

I think a lot (most? I have no idea) of guys will feed women what they think they want to hear to keep them interested while decides what he wants with her or sees how far he can get with her. A woman can become adept at detecting inauthenticity, but that would be correlated with the number of early unsuccessful dates she goes on. So the more successful a woman is in landing a relationship, the less likely she will gain the skills to recognize that inauthenticity.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/25 08:59 PM
12

Unfortunately there’s no way to know exactly what happened with him so you just have to move on. You can do everything right and sometimes things still won’t work out. One thing I’d note is that unless you’re in a city that heavily skews male, it’s pretty unlikely that a guy who is as great as he appeared would be looking for his wife on a dating app. It’s entirely possible that he wasn’t looking for anything serious. And the fact that he didn’t come straight out to tell you what the deal is poi…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/25 04:16 PM
1

What else is on your list?
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/25 05:57 AM
3

Do you also recommend that women stop using birth control when they reach 35?
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/25 05:24 PM
2

I wonder if this is something you can discuss and put a boundary on, and maybe tell him that when he says something critical about how you use your free time you will say something like "Hey, you're doing that thing we talked about," and he will agree to stop himself when you say that. I know this seems a bit overbearing, but if he agrees that it's something he needs to have pointed out to him so he can stop, then perhaps it could work. You said that he has said this was a problem he had in the …
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/25 09:03 PM
33

I don't think enough people realise that having a high body count is usually associated with trauma, low self-esteem, a bad family background, and mental health issues. I think most people do recognize this, which is why high body counts can be red flags instead of just a sign someone likes sex. It may sound like shame and stigma to you, but those are signs that someone might not be a good partner. Right now you should set measurable and achievable goals, like dedicating yourself back to addicti…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/25 06:30 PM
3

This is a good point. I tend to read a lot about dysfunctional relationships here on Reddit because that's what people write about. It's my way of getting the drama fix without inviting real drama into our lives. And it ALWAYS makes me feel gratitude for my man and our relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/25 09:26 PM
5

It kind of sounds like criticism rather than nagging to me. I think of nagging as telling someone to do something they were already going to do, or said they would do. So if you said you would read the same book along with him, and then were scrolling your phone instead, and he said something about it, that would be nagging. This sounds more like he is critical/judgmental of how you spend your free time because you're not trying to maximize the value in the ways that he would. I've never actuall…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/25 09:18 PM
5

And you don’t want to move out?
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/25 05:26 AM
56

I don’t understand how her being bitchy about you paying for her dinner is supposed to illustrate how some people are worse off than you? Honestly baffling.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/25 04:57 AM
9

That’s because we can’t control other people’s behavior. If being late to things really stresses you out then choose a man who is on the same page. Don’t choose someone and then expect them to change to fit your preferences.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/25 09:48 PM
7

Are you able to get commitment from the men you are attracted to?
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/25 07:31 PM
11

What attracted you to the men you were attracted to?
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/25 06:59 PM
2

For me it boils down to two main things. Listen to what he says: This means paying attention when he’s speaking, focus on him not my phone, don’t interrupt, don’t assume I know what he’s saying before he says it, etc. This shows that I respect him and that what he thinks and says are important to me and worth paying attention to. This doesn’t mean that I’m falling silent every time he opens his mouth or we don’t have regular conversations, banter, joking around, etc., but my mindset is that when…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/25 06:14 PM
21

First, not every message may apply to you. If you’re not the kind of person who is overwhelmingly compelled to point out when someone else is doing something “wrong” (not how you would do it), then maybe that advice isn’t particularly useful to you. But surely you must recognize that some other women tend to do that a lot. A lot of times people say things more to assuage their own anxiety rather than to actually be helpful. One thing I have noticed is that some people tend to treat the people cl…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/25 04:44 PM
4

Yeah I mean, the people I normally see hitchhiking are clearly strung out, homeless or like crust punks, so not someone I’d want to risk letting into the car myself because of unpredictable behavior. Picking up someone stranded with a broken down car is different than picking up a hitchhiker to me.
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/25 04:26 PM
3

Delia’s advice is really the best, definitely do that. It sounds like he may be uncomfortable about money in general or maybe he’s still dealing mentally with the transition to adulthood and financial responsibility. The fact that he isn’t being more forthright about discussing what he wants or problem solving when this seems to be an ongoing issue and you obviously have income disparity could be a maturity thing. If he wants you to pay more he should be able to speak up and when he says he’s go…
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/25 03:29 PM
5

If it’s truly about how he says certain things and not what his actions are, that is rather nitpicky and you should let it go. Maybe he likes the idea of him giving you permission to do things, is that something you have ever discussed with him? The hitchhiker thing is crazy to me though. Maybe it’s different where you live, but where I live it’s not considered safe to hitchhike or pick up hitchhikers so to me that would be a sign of major judgement failure on his part, unless there was some ver…
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/25 01:32 PM
3

Was it always like this before he got the job? Did anything change since he got the job? Are you going out more now? Do you ever say “I can’t afford to go out this week” or offer to cook for him instead? What does he do when you pay for both of you, like is he very effusive and thankful, or does he not really mention it? It could be that he would prefer to go back and forth on paying for outings, so you paying for both when it’s cheaper is a good idea, but if you really can’t afford to be doing …
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/25 12:55 PM
2

It does sound like you weren’t excited about these guys and they felt that. Try reading the Surrendered Single by Laura Doyle, it has some good discussion about dates and how to be appropriately receptive. To answer your question, you let him lead in low stakes situations where you aren’t risking much by not being in control. Picking restaurants and planning outings ARE low stakes situations where it should be easy to give up control to a stranger to see how it goes. The point is to see what he …
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/25 11:03 PM
1

Unless they have zero options, men won’t commit to a woman who doesn’t add to their life in a meaningful way. What do you bring to the table besides looks? I agree you probably do need to become a better version of yourself to get commitment from a man you want. You need to increase your RMV to be a keeper AND to have confidence that you are a keeper. Expecting a quality man to commit to you just because of your looks is quite juvenile and also kind of indicative of a low opinion of the men you …
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/25 08:56 PM
1

Yeah, there’s a difference between expressing how you’re feeling to someone and taking it out on them. I definitely feel like people can think they’re doing the first but it’s really coming across as the second.
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/25 09:01 PM
5

I would go out with him at least once to see how you feel in his presence now. If you truly don’t feel any attraction when you’re with him then be honest with yourself and don’t force anything. Attraction can grow, people can change, and as we grow up we can tend to become more attracted to masculine looks rather than pretty boy type looks, if that’s where your type leaned when you first met him. But if he still doesn’t do anything for you there’s no point in trying to force something you will c…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/25 10:34 PM
2

Working on mindfulness, gratitude and meditation can help your reactivity and anxiety and feeling overwhelmed by disappointment/negative feelings. Practicing these techniques can help give you space from these negative emotions when they come up so you can chose not to give into them in the moment.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/25 10:02 PM
2

Something I’ve noticed is some people only want to give you things if you don’t actually need it. Like they want to do it as a nice gesture, but if you’re actually in a bind and NEED something then they feel like it’s an obligation or you’re relying on them too much. Like they only want to give you something as a reward for something positive, not to help you out of something negative. I wonder if these guys were like that. If you didn’t need their help they might have been more likely to offer …
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/25 06:53 PM
1

Women lose sexual market value as they age. That isn’t the whole totality of a woman’s value to men that want long term/marriage relationships. It is the whole totality of a woman’s value to men like Leonardo DiCaprio. So the answer is that you need to invest in your RMV so that men who are attracted to you will want to keep you around for a relationship. The RMV is what makes a man commit, and that doesn’t go down with age.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/25 07:05 PM
2

It definitely sucks to feel like you can’t depend on him. All I can suggest is to keep talking until you both can come to an agreement about how you can both contribute. My partner expects me to work and contribute financially, but earlier this year there was a shake up in my industry and he said “hey if you lose your job don’t worry, I’ll take care of us,” and it really made me feel safe to be with him. Have you tried using the Laura Doyle skills of expressing pure desires to him?
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/25 05:59 PM
3

You literally said you wish he was more materialistic and bought you more gifts, but the real issue seems to be very different. That’s why you were getting the responses saying you seem shallow.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/25 05:47 PM
2

I mean with the driving to him and cooking and cleaning every weekend. It sounds like he’s taking that for granted and you feel like he should be more grateful and reciprocate with gifts and other gestures like paying for your car repair. I’m not saying this is an unreasonable expectation on your part, but he is not doing it, and so you can either keep doing that and not get what you want back from him, or you can stop doing it because you have seen that he’s not responding how you feel is appro…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/25 05:38 PM
1

I’m just curious because the dynamics of your relationship weren’t clear from your initial post. When you get married and live together, is he still expecting you to pay for all your own expenses, like mortgage, property taxes, groceries and utilities? Are you going to have a joint account for anything? Are there any expenses that he is planning to take on completely?
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/25 02:15 PM
1

She’s choosing to do all this with the covert expectation that he will reciprocate in ways she wants. It definitely sucks, but that’s why you shouldn’t keep doing stuff you resent doing out of the expectation that someone will respond in a certain way. It’s actually quite controlling and my mom does it constantly lol.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/25 02:08 PM
3

I didn’t because sexual compatibility was important to me, so I took it was a way to openly discuss our desires. I didn’t meet my boyfriend on an app, but it was online and we spoke about sexual things very early on.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/25 10:51 PM
4

Then you need to filter them out. I don’t think there’s a subtle coded way to say you want a male-led relationship beyond “traditional gender roles” but then everyone will have a different interpretation of what that means. I think the best strategy is to be very open and up front as soon as possible and be ok with discarding men who don’t align with the type of relationship you want. But then you also have to look out for men who just tell you what you want to hear to get into a sexual relation…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/25 10:31 PM
5

It might be helpful to directly address a budget for each other’s gifts. And if he’s not a big gift giver, it’s ok to send him a link to the those earrings and say “i’d like these for my birthday.” He might appreciate having you spell it out for him. If he’s resistant to that then you have to figure out if you can accept him for who he is right now, without expectations of him changing in the future. Also, if he is someone who doesn’t like making a big deal out of his birthday, or other gifty ho…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/25 09:24 PM
18

You shouldn’t be instigating competition in your relationship for any reason. It’s disrespectful and unfeminine. Especially since you asked him directly and he told you he didn’t want to arm wrestle you, it’s pretty disrespectful to surreptitiously try to figure out if he has more arm strength than you.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/25 11:04 PM
1

How do you know they only want sex? Maybe they want sex and a relationship but they want to confirm sexual compatibility first. Just like you want to confirm their commitment first.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/25 01:19 PM
9

Do you consume a lot of social media? It sounds like you’re just getting “grass is greener” feelings and that is something you can work on through practicing gratitude, mindfulness, meditation, prayer, etc. Learning to be happy with what you have is a valuable life skill. Being aligned with life goals/expectations is super important for a relationship but there really is no guarantee that you will meet a man you love as much, who loves you, and can provide the more materialistic things you’re fe…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/25 04:53 PM
3

Marriage isn’t bad for men, divorce is bad for men.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/25 04:30 PM
-5

Read Laura Doyle
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/25 07:53 AM
2

Strike up a conversation, give him your number when you leave. “Give me a call if you want to go out sometime.”
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/25 07:16 PM
1

I kinda understand a bit as I’m a very private person and don’t like talking about my feelings, but I don’t worry about what other people might think about me. The degree to which you seem to be worrying about this seems to be a form of anxiety that may require professional help to address.
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/25 03:51 AM
2

I’m someone who always had trouble not submitting too much and too early, which did lead to committing to men who were not leaders. Definitely recommend restraining that impulse for those who are prone to it, although I don’t think I ever really successfully did. I think I just got really lucky with my partner that things have worked out even with us committing pretty early on and kind of diving straight in. But also we’re older with plenty of relationship experience on both sides, so we were ab…
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/25 03:46 AM
5

I’d always thought about it as “I want to be married,” rather than “I want to get married.” And instead of fantasizing about a wedding I would imagine a relationship spanning time, and enjoying day to day life together, having lots of memories together, that kind of thing.
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/25 03:17 AM
5

What bad things do you imagine people will think about you if they knew how you feel?
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/25 10:57 PM
2

Are his parents in the same country as yours? What if you spent some time with both sets of parents? Would he prefer staying with his parents longer perhaps? I understand that you need extra help with a new baby, but he might be worried about setting the precedent for spending so long with your parents regularly. And it may be that when he sees how beneficial having the extra help is he will want you to stay longer, with or without him. I would reframe your thinking so you’re not trying to make …
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/25 06:52 PM
2

I moved in with my boyfriend three months ago, and we were long distance for just under a year and a half leading up to my move. During the LDR period we talked a lot about how we wanted our relationship to be, our values, etc. We had a lot of ideas about how the relationship would be structured, but since moving it has just flowed very organically which suits us. We get along very well, enjoy doing the same things, both work remotely from home so we spend a lot of time together. So far it just …
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/25 10:16 PM
10

Damn, if your relationship is such that if your husband said “i want our kids to go to swim lessons,” and your response is “well then YOU organize it asshole!”, I don’t even know what to say. We start from the premise that the man a woman chooses is worth respecting and thus, his requests and desires deserve respect.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/25 03:00 AM
1

I know you feel like you’re being honest and expressing your experience, but saying things like “the dating pool is a cesspool, the bar is in hell, all the men here are immature losers that don’t want marriage,” is not going to help you date successfully. You really need to work on your attitude about this as it’s the kind of thing that will drive good men away. Good men don’t appreciate women who think and talk like that about men in general. Think about how it feels when you read someone talki…
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/25 10:56 PM
3

I’m curious about the first guy, because you said you knew him for years and dated for two years. When did his inability to have a conversation emerge? Is it something that was always there but your initial attraction overrode it, or did it develop later on, after you were together?
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/25 09:21 PM
14

The thing is, you really have to approach the conversation from an information gathering perspective, NOT attempting to persuade him to give you the answer you want. If you only want to talk about this to get to a specific outcome, then I vote that it is not a good idea to bring it up. There’s also ways to discuss your sex life without leading him to the conclusion that you require sex toys to be involved.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/25 03:41 AM
3

Interesting. I’m kind of the opposite, I find it really tiresome when people just want to speculatively debate things they don’t actually know facts about instead of just saying “I don’t actually know enough about this to comment.” But I think it’s great that you are able to reflect and understand your dealbreakers. It sounds like you’re not doing anything actually wrong. You realized the first guy wasn’t a real fit, and you weren’t comfortable committing to the second guy because of his high SM…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/25 07:21 PM
9

What does “he wasn’t engaging with me in the way I wanted” mean?
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/25 06:19 AM
3

There’s really no guarantee he would want a relationship if you move to his town.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/25 09:11 PM
1

This is something you can practice, if you want to improve.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/25 03:50 PM
3

I also hadn’t dated a man who was more mature and responsible than me until my current boyfriend. It’s definitely a game changer. Try dating a different type of man.
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/25 11:45 PM
2

Cutting it while regrowing will make the rest look better. Armpit length is still "long" to most guys. I don't go anywhere to get haircuts anymore, I just have a little scissor and trim off any damaged ends and everything kind of evens out. Since I started dyeing my hair blonde a few years ago, it won't grow past mid-bust length. I've been using K18 to try to get it to grow longer, and while its not drastically improving, at least it stopped get worse lol.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/25 05:46 PM
5

Well I guess the fully surrendered thing to do is just let him handle it and the consequences of not doing it, but unless you think he'd react badly, I don't personally see anything wrong with saying like "hey I'd really like to get xyz done, do you mind if I hire someone?"
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/25 10:00 PM
3

You have lots of good advice here. I just want to address one thing. You've been together 7 years, but you're saying you don't know what he likes or what else he might want from you. I think you probably know a lot more than you think! Try literally writing a list of things he likes and doesn't like and add to it whenever he mentions something. Already in this thread you have come up with a few things! Seeing the actual list can help you come up with ideas for gifts or special things to do for h…
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/25 08:37 PM
2

Is the house in both your names?
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/25 07:33 PM
2

To me that doesn’t seem normal, but I get that this is where you are coming from and I’m not trying to attack you here. If it takes most of your time and energy to get your basic needs met then that is what you need to work on first. You shouldn’t be in survival mode all the time and if that is truly the situation you are in it makes sense that creating space for intimacy with your husband does not feel like a necessity.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/25 03:50 PM
1

You can do whatever. You will not get the benefit of nun mode without doing nun mode.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/25 03:41 PM
1

How far away was college? What was your living situation like then? I would think really hard about if you would ever want to move back near your parents. If you do, then I wouldn’t move very far away. If you move far away to a city and find a man from there, it could be very hard to get him to move back to your hometown.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/25 06:55 PM
13

Some men will never be monogamous. If you want to be with a man who happens to be like that then you will need to accept him for who he is. Many women do so. Not all “high value/rich” men do this, although they likely could if they wanted to, they chose not to for their own reasons. Some value holding themselves to a higher standard, value their religious beliefs or value wanting to maintain their family legacy and guard against children out of wedlock. So they have their reasons beyond “my wife…
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/25 11:57 AM
5

You just have to keep trying. Seriously that’s all. It’s not failure until you stop trying.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/25 10:47 AM
6

So he should provide her with a certain amount of money in exchange for the amount of sex he wants. Interesting take.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/25 04:55 PM
4

There is a difference between what is "normal" and what is "inevitable". It's not inevitable that she should only want sex at most twice a week at this point in her life, and if it's causing a problem in he marriage, it is something that can be worked on. There are a lot of things in life that aren't seen as problems until they start to interfere in our lives. This is causing an interference in her life and the response "it's totally normal, nothing to be done," is not helpful or empowering.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/25 04:54 PM
4

That is all true, and I didn't give a nuanced reply. I still do not think that "what if my husband dies before me" is a reasonable thing for a single 20 year old to worry about. It's something to acknowledge and accept, rather than fret over. The reality is that, unless she ends up marrying someone much younger than herself, she will very likely outlive her husband. And the idea of trying to control for longevity in dating strikes me as absurd, although I'm there are people who will do that. The…
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/25 04:02 PM
12

Not being interested in sex more than twice a week in your 20’s doesn’t seem normal to me. Being more interested in meal prep or exercise than having sex with your husband doesn’t seem normal to me.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/25 01:24 PM
28

Have you ever actually dated an older guy? There’s a difference between “fixation” and compatibility. And yes, you’re kinda making up reasons to freak yourself out for no reason if there is no actual older man in question. Also, you’re 20, basically every guy you could date is older than you right now.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/25 04:18 AM
41

Reproduction, nurturing, home tending, loving, cooperation, softness, lightness, fragility. Receptivity. Yin. Calm. I love being a woman and “power” has nothing to do with it.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/25 04:15 AM
2

I would also strongly recommend meditation, even guided relaxation meditations from like YouTube can be helpful for me. And practicing gratitude daily. As to your job, how do you get along with the people you work with? How do you get along with your supervisor?
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/25 04:07 AM
3

I would first focus on dealing with the stress more effectively then if that isn’t working, look into changing jobs or reducing your responsibilities. What do you currently do for stress management?
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/25 08:34 PM
1

I’m still not clear, how does your work get in the way of relationships for you? For most people I think there’s room for work and relationships, so if one is stopping you from having the other, then that’s where the problem needs to be addressed. Usually the answer isn’t “you need to not work in order to have a successful relationship.” If your job is too time consuming and mentally or physically taxing, then you might need to change it, but you said it was cushy so…?
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/25 06:45 PM
5

My goal for a job was one that allowed me to earn enough to be comfortable and doesn’t stress me out. That will really look different for different people. I’m in sponsored research administration at a university, which I personally do not find stressful, but other people do. Well. This year it’s getting kinda stressful… I’ve totally had jobs that sucked my will to live and made me miserable, so don’t do that. Most people have to work and it doesn’t get in the way of them having relationships. I…
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/25 05:50 PM
3

In this one area I feel like you are expecting a lot. Within 5 months he got a new job he wanted and it’s maybe not what he expected. The job you get at 22 is a stepping stone. Even if this specific position doesn’t have mobility, he’s now in an industry and he will learn a lot. Maybe he is better learning by doing instead of research like you want him to do. You have provided a laundry list of reasons why you are not compatible, you don’t have to be right about everything.
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/25 01:35 PM
25

Regardless of what he is or could become, you don’t respect him, you don’t like his humor, you aren’t aligned with his vision of the future. It seems like you don’t like him how he is and want him to change, so you should just break up and look for someone who is compatible with what you want.
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/25 04:20 PM
7

Most men are attracted to TRP because they need help relating to women in a better way. I personally think that is good and there is a lot of growth required before they would be good marriage prospects. Lots of RP content is mired in the anger phase, and men stuck there are not good relationship prospects. If a man can get past the anger phase and they decide for themselves that they want to be married, then they would likely be a great husband. The angry male RPers are what get the most attent…
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/25 02:01 PM
6

I really enjoyed the Discovery of Witches series recently. Otherwise I usually read older stuff like PG Wodehouse, EF Benson, Laura Ingalls Wilder, LM Montgomery, CS Lewis. And I love William Gibson and Neal Stephenson but they may be too sci fi oriented?
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/25 01:50 PM
17

It kind of sounds like she was showing off to you, like how popular she is with guys that she’s not even interested in (which is a weird thing to brag about if you think about it…), so responding that you aren’t impressed by her rude behavior is good on your part, but I don’t think you should put any further effort into changing her mind or behavior. Model good, respectful behavior and speak up when you disagree. She probably wasn’t expecting pushback from you, and with luck she may reflect on h…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/25 03:08 AM
2

There is a risk of creating resistance in him by bringing it up more. I suggest not mentioning it again unless he specifically asks like “is there something you want for your birthday?” and you can say “i love getting flowers!” and do not bring up that you have said it to him before. Then when he does get some for you tell him effusively how much you love them, and do not say anything about “finally” getting flowers from him. I would also pay attention to the gift giving culture in his family an…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/25 02:54 AM
16

I’m glad you didn’t go through with the marriage. Right now you should be building your foundation of support and not focusing on any new relationships. Like you probably shouldn’t start dating for a year. Get any job you can to support yourself for now and get your mind off things. Then you can look for a better job in your field if you want to. You seem like you get worked up and anxious about things and that makes you make rash decisions out of fear rather than figuring out what will truly nu…
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/25 04:02 PM
2

I think the biggest thing I learned was actually from this sub, it was in an old Whisper post and he said “women only sleep with men they would marry.” Obviously that’s not literally true, but it was something I had personally never even thought about. It definitely made me think “huh, maybe I should only sleep with guys I would marry, imagine that!” 🤔
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/25 06:47 PM
6

Men like to fuck young hot women. That fact is not in dispute. What else do you have that might make a rich handsome man want to keep you around the next day?
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/25 06:24 PM
2

Take it as proof that there are men out there that you can have a great relationship with and that will treat you respectfully. In my experience, good men are really not so scarce as people say online. That’s not to say they are not a valuable “commodity,” as it were, but in finding one such man, that doesn’t mean you lost your one opportunity for a wonderful relationship. It more means that you are learning to attract the type of man you want, which is an improvement over your past experiences.…
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/25 06:15 PM
8

Can you imagine any high value man that wouldn’t get tired of that?
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/25 05:45 PM
8

Being kind is feminine, which is a positive thing for women to be, especially when attracting a man. You’re conflating what you find attractive in men (strength, power, aggression) with what men find attractive in women (kindness, beauty, vulnerability).
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/25 05:44 PM
4

It’s certainly a big character indicator and one that many people will see as a major flaw. That is something anyone considering OF should be acutely aware of.
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/25 03:24 PM
1

And do you think this guy who can fix cars and build houses wants a woman who isn’t sexually attracted to him?
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/25 02:12 PM
5

That is technically true, but fantasizing about other people is not going to strengthen your relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/25 04:38 PM
7

I would also add to this, practice gratitude for him and your relationship with him. Actively think about the things you love about him and why you are lucky to be with him.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/25 04:34 PM
1

You wouldn’t pay back money for someone’s plane ticket that you had agreed to split with them? Ok, good for you?
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/24 05:10 PM
6

There are very good suggestions here, but I would wait awhile before thinking about addressing anything about this with him. I would seriously focus on using the skills and taking care of your side of the street and not try to figure out how everything is going to work out. Don’t try to make any one else change right now. You’re basically asking how you can control this thing about his kids while also trying to stop being controlling, and personally, I wouldn’t try to do these two opposing thing…
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/24 04:55 PM
8

Just looking at US demographics, limiting yourself to only dating Black men narrows your pool significantly, but you should only date who you feel comfortable dating. Depending on where you live, those local demographics could be significantly different than the general US population.
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/24 01:17 AM
9

How old are you both and how long have you been together?
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/24 03:35 PM
10

I was raised extremely liberal/progressive, but I feel like I’m getting more conservative as I age. I think it’s a bit sad that the concept of being respectful to men is considered conservative, but I suppose that’s just how it is, in the US at least.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/24 11:39 PM
2

You could try to casually ask about the no calling/texting thing, like maybe ask if he’s in a busy time or is this just his preference. Ask in a curious, open way, not a negative or accusatory way. I get that some people don’t like that, I just can’t imagine it personally, especially in the first weeks of getting to know each other. Idk maybe that’s just the type of guy I have clicked with. What I have experienced many times, and it’s true with my current boyfriend, is he likes me to text throug…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/24 07:58 PM
2

What are these dates like? Does he seem interested in getting to know you?
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/24 06:34 PM
5

Are you trying to figure out how to make this work, or deciding to break up?
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/24 08:44 PM
3

I mean, not being willing to take the subway for a date seems pretty ridiculous to me. It’s fine to say you would prefer to meet in a certain neighborhood, but you’re being controlling, so it’s going to set a tone for the relationship that you may eventually regret. And ragging on a guy for not making plans soon enough and then saying you’re busy until next week is pretty rude. He probably felt like you set him up to fail with that and are playing with him. Like what was your point doing that? T…
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/24 08:41 PM
4

Who’s idea was it to move in together?
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/24 08:29 PM
7

You made that up, she never said he was barking orders at her. She said he is annoyed that she won’t just say yes to something he asks without further discussion. And he said “make room in the pantry” not “put all medications under the washer”.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/24 05:29 PM
5

Who wants to be in a relationship with someone who nitpicks, criticizes and tears apart every thing they ask for? Who turns everything into an argument and calls it a discussion? That is also not good communication. Not everything requires a discussion, especially when it will work against intimacy in the relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/24 04:56 PM
12

And to him it might feel like instead of just saying yes and being agreeable, you’re looking at ways that he’s wrong right out of the gate. Like you can’t even just say yes and do one thing without pointing out how he’s wrong and you’re right about everything. It’s really about how what you’re doing is making him feel respected or not. And this is a really important thing to understand: lots of things that are no big deal to women are felt as disrespectful by men. We don’t naturally understand r…
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/24 04:46 PM
32

It does sound like you’re nitpicking things he’s asking you to do, which will feel disrespectful to him. This is an area where women and men view the same actions differently. You feel like you’re discussing and collaborating while he feels like you’re questioning and undermining his requests. I’d suggest reading John Gray’s “What Your Mother…” and, of course, Laura Doyle.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/24 03:49 PM
3

I feel like there’s two parts to this, one is spending time together doing things, like taking a walk, doing some hobby/activity that you both enjoy, etc. Also giving him a non-sexual massage. Then you can also focus on developing a feeling of connection when you’re not together through your thoughts/mindset. So like, writing down things about him (and in general) you are grateful for and doing chores/tasks/errands with the mindset of serving your husband/family/relationship. I’m not really fami…
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/24 11:34 PM
3

So you’re saying you live together and struggle to connect daily? Meals are usually good for that. Like making sure everyone eats together at the table without screens. Then cleaning up afterwards together. Playing a game or taking a walk after dinner. Walking together is a great way to connect, especially if you can just go out your door and take a quick walk.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/24 10:31 PM
8

I wonder if it would be helpful to look up etiquette guides to see what is the polite response to these situations. That might help you to feel more comfortable expressing thanks when people (not just men, anyone) do things for you. The Surrendered Single by Laura Doyle has some good advice about being receptive while dating, it certainly helped me feel better about being treated and showing appreciation without feeling indebted. Practicing expressing gratitude in private may also help to feel m…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/24 09:43 PM
1

It sounds like a lot of AWALT stuff. The longer version of AWALT is All Women Have The Capacity To Be Like That, which may help you get through the book (if you want to) without internalizing everything. AWALT is definitely difficult to confront as women because well, we don’t want to think that way about ourselves. For me, I actually dated women in college and experienced some of the crazy AWALT behaviors to a T. That’s one big reason I didn’t just write off Red Pill stuff when I came across ye…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/24 06:58 PM
7

He’s being unreasonable.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 07:38 PM
3

Yeah I would try to read the book and engage with it neutrally, but if you can’t, then be honest with him about that. Explain that it’s very upsetting to you for xyz reasons. Maybe ask him if there is some practical application of the book’s ideas he wants you to put into practice, and can he explain them to you. If he wants to rant about how badly men are treated and have you agree with him, you’ll have to figure out your own tolerance for that.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 07:25 PM
3

My top tips are practicing gratitude, showing respect, and recognizing when to turn away from sources of validation outside of your relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 04:16 PM
5

I don’t recommend going to that sub if you want advice on keeping your marriage intact. To find info, go to the main RPW page and at the top it says like “community information” or something. Click that and scroll down and you will see the wiki/sidebar.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 03:42 PM
5

I specifically said she should introduce him to male relatives.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 11:24 AM
13

Well there’s no benefit to your marriage to continue to sleep with other men so why not? Do you value your marriage at all, or do you just want equality? There’s a ton of resources here that could help your marriage, in the sidebar/wiki. But basically you have shown him he’s not your best option which is basically a relationship killer.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 11:15 AM
16

Of course it’s her choice! She can do anything she wants. She came here for input and that is my advice.
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/24 04:15 PM
24

I think you should reflect on why you’re getting so defensive about the advice you’re getting here. Is this how you normally respond when you don’t get the response you want? These are very basic steps towards progressing your relationship and you’re being very resistant to other perspectives.
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/24 03:51 PM
16

You say yourself that you are young and inexperienced with relationships. Men see things in other men that women don’t see or don’t feel is relevant. If you have trusted male family members, why wouldn’t you want to know their opinion of him?
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/24 03:45 PM
42

If he’s so worried about emotional maturity, and you not having gone through trying experiences, why is he dating such young women? If you can, I would introduce him to some male relatives and get their opinion of him.
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/24 03:12 PM
1

I think a lot of us here want strong loving relationships and understand that those take work. We can see the modern relationship cliches and want to avoid them. We understand that it takes effort to go against the flow of modern western feminist relationship norms, but that is what is necessary to have a truly satisfying heterosexual relationship. Hot girls may not need to put in effort to get a relationship, but that doesn’t mean it will even make her happy. Relationships with simps who acquie…
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/24 10:11 PM
1

I feel like old movies have good examples of women showing childlike anger, like “oh fiddlesticks!!” type of thing lol
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/24 09:54 PM
4

I don’t think she’s trying to prevent him from watching any of it.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/24 09:24 PM
-2

Sure i don’t see any problem with it other than he might get bored long before it’s over lol. My boyfriend mentions celebrities he thinks are hot pretty often. I’d say more often he’s commenting on a guy being ripped, but he says “he’s hot” just like he says a woman is hot. So it doesn’t really make me worried that he’s invested any more than appreciating their looks on a very surface level. We actually watched a couple episodes of Naked Attraction recently 😂 and commented on who we thought was …
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/24 07:09 PM
4

Has something happened that is leading you to feel like you need to behave differently?
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/24 04:22 PM
2

It could possibly be a rebound but also good guys who want to be in a relationship don’t stay single for very long. The fact that you already know him could be a good sign that you know who he is as a man outside of being in a relationship, or your crush feelings could be coloring him to be a better guy than he is. The thing about his stepdad not knowing he was broken up with the ex is only an issue if they’re super close or he still lives with his family (mom and stepdad). Otherwise I wouldn’t …
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/24 11:52 PM
11

It seems like you are equating being attracted to men who treat you well to not being attracted to men who don't treat you well, but they're two very different things. Initial attraction comes from SMV and alpha type characteristics, so good looking, fun personality, knows how to talk to women, etc. These types of things will always be attractive to women, that's why they exist. It's does not behoove you to try to stop being attracted to attractive male characteristics. The second part, the "put…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/24 09:13 PM
2

idk i thought it was an interesting topic to reflect on
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/24 02:46 AM
1

OP says that their number 1 new base Agreement is that they are a team. So she believes that they are working from a team/collaborative position. I assume that their division of responsibilities between inside and outside the home is part of their understanding of being a team, and that they work towards common goals from different spheres. “Being a team” is a rather vague statement that can be interpreted many different ways. It’s interesting that you both probably have different ideas of what …
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/24 02:11 AM
6

You can have a conversation about how you can support him when he’s having an anxiety episode and then do what he says. If it really is only 5% of the time, you should be able to handle yourself and leave him be while he calms himself down. There is nothing you can or should do to him or for him in this regard. It’s his business to handle if he feels that anxiety is adversely affecting his life.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/24 12:38 AM
14

What I am hearing the most from you is that you blame him and his actions for you feeling unhappy right now, especially because of your birthday. You are predicating your happiness on his behavior. That needs to stop. Remember the Eleanor Roosevelt quote “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” What are you doing for yourself to make yourself happy? Your husband plans golf trips to make himself happy, so what do you do? I think you should take tomorrow and put him completely out…
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/24 08:57 PM
6

There’s no need or method to “flip the switch” and immediately begin acting totally differently, from what you have described. Instead you should reflect on what you want to change, even write them down so you can really focus on them, and work on those things. The example you gave seems odd to me for a number of reasons but there could also be good reasons for why you did what you did: Leaving him asleep at home while you take your daughter to the park: Was this a one off occurrence or does thi…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 05:46 PM
2

In my 3 serious adult relationships, all 3 initiated serious conversations about marriage within 2 years of the relationship. I’m not trying to say this is a standard or requirement, but that is my experience.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/24 01:56 PM
1

You said you almost never have a kid free day together.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 03:39 PM
3

Has he ever brought up marriage or kids on his own, without prompting from you?
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 03:35 PM
1

It might be helpful to ask these questions in a sub for the culture he is from to get an understanding of how the family support is handled. That is not something I’m used to and I agree that spending up to 30% of monthly income on extended family expenses would feel unreasonable to me and would be difficult to accept, especially if I felt our own family goals were suffering as a result.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/24 07:18 PM
5

Yeah this seems like a very different problem than the one you posted about. I think you should work on dealing with your financial anxiety, but also really think about what you truly want and express it to him. If you don’t truly want to have his kids and were only going along with him, perhaps he understands that and that is why he’s not prioritizing starting your new family. Or it may be that your expectations of financial standing before starting a family are not realistic for him. I don’t k…
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/24 05:26 PM
4

Are any of those scenarios likely to happen to you, or are you trying to come up with worst case scenarios? If you actually think it’s likely that he would make a financial decision that would cause you to not be able to afford rent, then he’s not a good leader. If you’re letting your anxiety run amok because you’re scared of giving up control, then you’re not being a good partner to him. Neither is about when he discloses certain information to you or not, it’s either about his fitness as a hus…
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/24 11:30 PM
4

I think Laura Doyle would say that his family stuff is on his paper and it’s his decision whether to discuss it with you or not. Family drama on his side doesn’t require your input, and it may be that he doesn’t want to rehash everything again to you. I would focus on making the time you spend together peaceful and enjoyable and only discuss his family business if he brings it up.
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/24 09:04 PM
1

This is not a forum for men. Your post is a bit incoherent. Women can’t teach men to be men. Try looking at r/marriedredpill to participate in the men’s space.
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/24 08:13 PM
2

This reminds me of talking about work stuff with my boyfriend, like he will have a meeting and say “It went great! I had some good wins!” and I’ll have a meeting and be like “we had a great conversation and shared information, she’s really nice to talk to!” Like thinking about work stuff as wins or losses doesn’t ever occur to me but it’s very natural to him.
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/24 08:05 PM
4

It sounds like you don’t trust him and you feel like you need to be in control of his finances and commitments to his family. He will probably go along with how things are when you are married and you will continue work yourself up with anxiety about everything. I would not marry a man that I didn’t trust with our finances and respect to handle them how he thinks is best. You should not expect his behavior to change, so if you want to stay together and preserve your own peace of mind then you ca…
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/24 07:58 PM
9

Assuming this is legit, the issue here is that if no one is trying to lock you down, you’re not wife material. You’re either sleeping with men who will never commit to you, or you’re not showing that you’re interested in more than casual sex. If you actually want to commit to one man and get married, I’m sure you can, but you need to be able to change your behavior and adjust your expectations of who is going to think you’re high value wife material.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/24 05:26 PM
8

A: I’ve had comments pretty much since I was a teenager that I have a calming presence. I’ve heard it from friends, colleagues and guys. B: There’s a few things maybe, but something he’s said that surprised me and stuck out was how much he loves to hear me laugh. Like sometimes he calls during work and we laugh/joke about something, and he says “I just wanted to hear you laugh.” I feel like it stems from him knowing he can make me happy, and that I’m a source of happiness in his life.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/24 04:27 PM
4

I would also recommend the book Fascinating Womanhood for step by step instructions/descriptions of femininity.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/24 08:41 PM
4

I would just talk about the things you want to talk about instead of feeling like you need to have all these answers. I don’t know much about my own insurance and I’d think it was pretty weird if someone kept asking me about it lol. I know as much as I need to know, it’s not a subject that interests me very much I guess? It’s ok to not have an answer for people, or to not be as involved in certain things as they are, it doesn’t make you dumb to have your own separate interests. If you needed to …
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/24 05:40 PM
6

Yes, i think mapping things out and have clear benchmarks could be helpful. It’s all a bit vague right now.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/24 01:40 AM
4

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/24 12:28 AM
6

Sorry it’s not totally clear. Are you saying he wants you to move into your own place and start a business while working full time before he will move in with you and get married? That kinda seems like a lot. But also, if he’s traveling to you it would be much nicer if you had your own place where the two of you could spend time together. Maybe he’s worried about how involved your family would be in the future? And he’s not super on board with you being a housewife, it kinda sounds like? Are you…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/24 10:38 PM
5

If it is something that is so important to him, he is allowed to have that boundary. In my experience, this isn’t a big issue irl. Most guys don’t care a ton if you’re not generally a train wreck person.
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/24 07:21 PM
5

Bring a homemade baked good or other hostess gift that you think she would like, as in ask a couple questions about her to get a sense of her tastes. Like you don’t want to bring a bottle of wine if she doesn’t drink, don’t want to make lemon bars if she’s allergic, etc. Be positive, not complainy, even jokingly. Demonstrate that you’re a nice positive person. Don’t talk about past relationships, even if it is to put your current boyfriend in a positive light. Don’t speak badly about your own fa…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/24 01:35 PM
2

So usually when people ask if attraction can grow, it’s because they value and respect the person, but aren’t immediately sexually attracted to them. It doesn’t sound like there is anything you particularly like about this new guy, except maybe he’s rich? Has status? He interested in you? Smarter than the previous guy, but not interested in discussing the things you are interested in. But not super sexually attractive to you, not masculine, not kind caring or inquisitive, doesn’t share your valu…
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/24 01:40 PM
6

So because of low self esteem and perfectionism, it sounds like. Are you making progress? Do you have a healthy lifestyle now? If so, i think you should start trying to date now as you will probably have a bit of a learning curve. Give yourself time to move slowly. Try reading The Surrendered Single by Laura Doyle. It can give you a framework for how to think about dating that may help you feel more comfortable trying it out.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/24 03:52 AM
6

Probably because you have never dated before. Why haven’t you ever had a relationship? Just not interested?
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/24 12:49 AM
3

You should try to join the social circles of men you find attractive. It sounds like you’re not mingling with good candidates. But also you should probably look for older men. You are kinda pricing yourself out of the dating market with your income and height preferences.
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/24 08:59 PM
6

Maybe she needs to be open to shorter men instead of capping it at 5’11?
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/24 04:19 PM
3

Are your friends dating guys that you would consider good catches? I’m not suggesting you eye them up lol, just curious if you and your friends have similar standards or if they have made concessions that you have not.
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/24 04:13 PM
11

Possibly also they come off as prudish or disgusted by male sexuality.
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/24 03:47 PM
11

Since he’s coming to your city it would make sense for you to plan some activities, or have things in mind that you can do together. It sounds like he’s not staying with you, so you will need to coordinate getting together each day. Whether he picks you up or you meet him has more to do with where you are and how difficult transportation is. Like in my city I wouldn’t expect someone to come get me all the time. I think this will be a good test of how good your communication together is. If he’s …
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/24 03:42 PM
2

I guess? I mean, i don’t know any women who chose to be single because they couldn’t land a Chad. If they want a relationship they find a compatible man. I know it happens but it’s not something I see irl.
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/24 12:06 PM
4

Very good point. I probably wouldn’t have stood up to my mom at 20 either, but I also wouldn’t have had her on speaker with other people around.
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/24 02:51 AM
14

It’s a weird situation, but if he heard whatever the mom was saying and OP didn’t push back at all, he might feel very conflicted about continuing the relationship seriously.
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/24 02:32 AM
35

You don’t have to put up with your mother speaking disrespectfully about your boyfriend. You can say that her opinion is not welcome and hang up if she won’t change the subject. Even if you don’t end up marrying this boyfriend, you can prepare her to behave herself for your future husband.
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/24 02:06 AM
3

In the US gender demographics of college students is 60% female to 40% male. Since they are scarcer and thus more in demand, average and above college males don’t need to commit as much to get female attention as they used to. Also, GenZ is much less likely to approach and ask others out in person as showing sexual interest in neutral spaces is heavily frowned upon. Using apps allows people to signal they are open and interested in having a relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/24 11:13 PM
1

Idk nowadays none of those things are a given, so it can be good to be explicit about what you bring to the table.
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/24 06:36 PM
1

All I can assume is that they primarily want validation for their feelings, then maybe some advice as long as it also still validates their feelings?
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/24 12:02 PM
4

That is not realistic advice most women. Lots of good men use apps to date. It’s not helpful to insinuate that all men on dating apps are untrustworthy or low quality.
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/24 12:12 AM
2

So he has never actually slept with another woman, but he gets into these inappropriate friendships regularly.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/24 08:00 PM
2

Two months is not very long if you’re looking for a serious long term relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/24 07:58 PM
2

I think it’s one of those instances where certain feminine qualities don’t come as naturally to some women. I’m definitely the same where it doesn’t occur to me to ask for help, ever, and I find it actually a bit embarrassing to need anyone’s help. Sometimes we have to start doing things in a more calculated way in order to get comfortable with the concept, which could very well look like manipulation to some people.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/24 04:25 PM
1

Expecting to have access to a man’s phone is disrespectful of his privacy and trust. Saying no to a request to go through his phone is not a red flag. But if he’s super squirrelly about it, then yeah that’s a bit of a red flag, but like, it’s the acting weird about something that is the red flag, not wanting privacy around his phone. Like if you’re talking about what you did over the weekend and he goes “that is my personal private information!!!” and won’t talk about it, then that is weird. But…
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/24 03:46 PM
4

You need to have other things in your life that assuage that loneliness so you don’t only rely on him to make you happy in every way.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/24 03:50 PM
7

I would suggest just being very into what you do like to do. Drawing, working out, baking and playing piano can all be kinda boring or very interesting if you’re passionate about them. Was Liszt boring, or Chopin or Rachmaninov? No way!! lol Baking is very creative and brings so much joy to others. Embrace what makes you happy for yourself and that will be attractive to your man.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/24 03:02 AM
4

I don’t know what this channel is but I disagree that men and women “know” how to have good relationships. For instance, so many men shoot themselves in the foot by doing everything they can to give their wife everything she wants, continually losing her attraction because it feels like she's controlling him, when they would be far better served by saying no sometimes, and showing that he is in charge and isn't controlled by her whims. Most of those men truly believe that they are doing the righ…
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/24 01:29 PM
4

I would not bring it up, but be honest if he asks. Talking is fine, and it’s great to know what he is thinking (or at least, what he is saying to you), but you want to inspire him to want to commit to you, not negotiate for that commitment.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/24 04:51 PM
4

I had a boyfriend who, as our relationship progressed, became less sexually adventurous (i don’t know if that is the right word). It was odd and we didn’t have good enough communication for me to find out what was happening. By the time he expressed that he wanted to marry me, he also wouldn’t let me give him bj’s anymore, because “they’re too degrading” (his words). I knew i didn’t want to marry him so I didn’t feel any real need to address his change in sexual preferences, and I did feel rathe…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/24 12:20 PM
5

Because everyone behaves shittily to everyone else a lot of the time. All you can control is your own reactions and behavior. Stop letting yourself get used and you will probably have a better attitude towards men. Think about all the guys who get used by women. Does the fact that lots of women use men and exploit them mean that we are all heartless gold digging b-cluster manipulators itching to extract resources from the next simp we ensnare? Should men hate women because of this?
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 08:50 PM
4

It’s not necessarily “the real him,” it’s an escape from his responsibilities in “the real world.”
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 07:57 PM
-4

We don’t know how quickly he left or how much he did or didn’t support her. You’re assuming information that isn’t there.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 05:30 PM
7

Somehow I sense there’s more to the story lol
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 12:47 PM
14

If you were acting like that, why do you think it was specifically the weight gain that caused him to break up with you?
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 12:00 PM
3

Do you have irl female friends at all? How do the girls you know meet guys? I have no idea if this is a recommended therapy for BD at all, but when I was younger and very dissatisfied with my looks, I forced myself to just stop looking in the mirror so much. Like, I would only look a few times a day at normal times at home in the bathroom and literally while I was out and about I would avoid any mirrors or reflective windows. Also no constant selfie taking. I feel like it really helped to stop w…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/24 04:12 PM
2

It’s great if your feelings are real but, never having experienced jealousy, you’re in the vast minority and maybe do not have the experience necessary to give good advice to others.
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/24 01:39 AM
1

There is a link under “see community info” if you’re on mobile
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/24 12:10 AM
10

They want a woman who jumps into bed easily, but only with them. Someone who can resist other men, but not them. They want to be the one she breaks her rules for. I don’t know if it is any more contradictory than women who want the CEO of Abs but he has to be totally in love with only her and completely blind to every other woman.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 08:52 PM
6

I guess I mean, and he has commented on it, that he is able to take the lead because I’m not trying to, so there isn’t a struggle. I don’t make him work for it. He knows I’m not going to be hostile to his direction, so he doesn’t really need to assert himself much. I mean we are both pretty laid back and if I was resistant I don’t know that he would bother putting up with it or what he would do really, it hasn’t come up. I suppose I mean he appreciates me making it easy for us to have the kind o…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 08:47 PM
9

Yes he knows about RPW. We discussed the type of relationship we wanted early on. I think he likes my submission and obedience more than he likes being overtly dominant. I know he appreciates it, but maybe because it comes fairly easily to me, it’s not something we talk about much anymore. Most of our relationship looks egalitarian, but he knows I want his leadership and guidance and he wants to know my preferences to help him make decisions.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 07:47 PM
3

I feel like the issue is you don’t want your frustrations engulfing you (and him), if that is not a problem then you don’t need to focus on it. Many women suffer from fixating on negative things (frustrations of the day) and cannot let themselves be made happy, which is the real problem. Men don’t want to be with unhappy women. If he wants you to share, then share and let it go and don’t stew.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/24 09:10 PM
1

I would like to! I’ll have to see if there’s already something written about this that I can refer to, as I’m just going on my own assumptions here.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/24 08:20 PM
2

And I feel like that is an example of women acting in a way that they find attractive in men, and not understanding that men don’t find that attractive in women. I wonder if it is a combination of solipsism and the assumption of “equality” that causes it?
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/24 03:14 PM
3

I don’t think it’s about being too into masculine hobbies, but outperforming your partner in them. Sharing interests is good but outshining a man in a masculine activity will often be emasculating and can introduce competition in the relationship. This is another example where women are attracted to men who are “better” than them, but a woman being better at something than a man is usually not attractive to him. And that is an example of how women and men are not attracted to the same things in …
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/24 02:42 AM
3

It doesn’t sound like you have done anything wrong. From all the comments it seems like your personality makes him feel insecure. I think people are assuming you must have done something to make him feel like he can’t trust you, but I don’t think you have, at least not intentionally. There is lots of good advice here already. I would suggest to also look into the resources here about how men view respect as that can help you identify behaviors that he may view as disrespectful. There are a lot o…
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/24 05:39 PM
3

That is all good. Has he asked you to change anything about how you handle social media? It seems like that is something that needs to be addressed, if it is bothering him that much.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/24 12:04 AM
4

Does he display a similar type of conflict avoidance and catastrophizing in other areas? Does he tend to get frustrated and quit things regularly, or is this behavior out of character for him? You said he’s not good with words, but are you two able to communicate about relationship issues generally?
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 10:16 PM
5

It’s not uncommon for men to have different expectations of their partner’s behavior than of themselves, especially in the scene you’re in. No it’s not “fair,” yes it is reality.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 05:50 PM
5

Another way I like to do this is indirectly, by doing things that my boyfriend then may brag about to others. Like earlier in the summer I made ice cream for us, and he really loved it even though he’s not a big ice cream guy, and ended up bragging about it to his dad (who i haven’t met yet, but who is a big ice cream fan). I’m sure there’s a better way to say it lol, but i definitely get motivated by trying to be a partner that will make other guys jealous of my boyfriend for having.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 02:36 AM
17

First you improve your looks, then you improve your personality. This is point of nun mode. Search the sub for that if you’re not sure what to do.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 01:01 AM
8

Look up Laura Doyle. She has books, website, podcast, and coaching if you’re into that. Many of her books are available from your library online. Her skills are always referenced here (just search this sub and you will see how often). She will give you actionable instructions on how to change your behavior to improve your marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 12:59 AM
30

If you think the men who will commit to you are below your league, that means you don’t understand what your league is.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 12:47 AM
7

If you can’t be honest about your mental health issues with him, you should not be trying to get back into a relationship with him. He may still be interested to a degree, but you’re not allowing him to make an informed decision about if he can be with you or not. The fact that he is not reaching out directly is also a terrible sign.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/24 10:12 PM
23

Orbiters.
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/24 07:25 PM
5

Yes that is absolutely possible. Fun, adventurous, “freaky” sex is totally possible within a safe monogamous relationship. It’s not easy necessarily, because men are not always honest about what they actually want if they’re trying to get you (as in, saying what they think you want to hear), and there’s also the possibility of the madonna/whore complex, where a man has problems being sexually open with women they consider wife material. And like a lot of sexual things, it’s not always possible t…
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/24 01:43 PM
7

Yeah but this guy already isn’t doing that. You want him to be different than he is. You’re not compatible sexually.
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/24 01:27 PM
8

He sounds like a horny young man. Nothing here sounds abnormal (he takes sex easily available to him), but you don’t seem the agree with how he views sex, so you’re likely not compatible in that way.
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/24 11:21 AM
5

You dated for 3 weeks. That’s a good timeframe for figuring out and expressing dealbreakers. You barely know each other. Nothing here sounds like she was using you for anything. Microdosing psychedelics is enough of a niche activity that it’s unlikely she had a firm stance on whether it was a dealbreaker or not before you met. Your post doesn’t even say if she understands how or why you’re using them, just that she seems like she was against long term regular drug and alcohol use of any kind. Di…
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/24 11:17 AM
1

There are subs for step-parents, and while I don't know if the advice is good, it is a good place to see what types of issues seem to come up a lot, to give you ideas of what to look out for and to think through your own thoughts about how to handle each situation. I used to get those recommended a lot for some reason lol. A lot of the dating subs also have input from people dating with kids, and while they are not RP, again, I feel they are helpful to see what issues seems to come up regularly.
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/24 07:16 PM
3

Three weeks is not very long to get over a relationship. I think you're being a bit hard on yourself if you expect to be completely over him already.
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/24 04:51 PM
6

In my experience (3 guys) when men have problems with sex drive/performance they are extremely reluctant to address it. Part of the issue can be fear of finding out that it is a permanent thing.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 11:33 PM
1

I guess i feel like, if it’s enough of an issue to ask strangers online for help to avoid receiving a diamond, it’s weird that it had never come up before, but then again most of these issues can easily be solved with an honest conversation.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 01:42 PM
1

I was thinking, if this is a strong ethical stance, it’s kinda weird if she’s never mentioned it before. But since it’s just an aesthetic preference, if she doesn’t say something now, she shouldn’t bring it up after he presents her with a ring she doesn’t like.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 10:44 AM
5

Ok so this is an aesthetic objection, not an ethical one? If so, speak now or forever hold your peace.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 02:09 AM
3

If you really really don’t want a diamond (the traditional engagement ring stone) you should tell him asap. Are you anti-diamond completely or just for engagement rings?
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 12:02 AM
17

Try only going on daytime dates and not putting yourself in a position where you can hook up. You may find yourself with a different type of man.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/24 01:25 AM
8

Just like every other woman, you need to cultivate your RMV. This means making yourself “wife material”. You need to do this yourself even if you expect to have an arranged marriage of some sort. You need to learn what men value and do your best to provide that to your husband, if you want a chance at a happy and successful marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/24 11:39 PM
2

My uncle has schizophrenia. He’s a wonderful gentle man, but if he’s not medicated he becomes dangerous to himself and others. This is not something to play around with, this is not something he can handle just on his own, and he may need to be hospitalized. This is extremely serious and enabling him to continue to go without treatment is not helping him. And do not allow him to use drugs of any kind, especially THC, that can trigger psychosis.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/24 04:11 PM
4

That’s a terribly passive aggressive way to proceed.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/24 04:05 PM
4

Just tell him how much he’s supposed to send you.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/24 12:08 PM
1

I’m very sorry that you’re going through all this right now. I understand it’s distressing and you feel pulled in different directions and you want to feel secure in your relationship. It’s so hard to feel like we’re doing what we’re supposed to be doing and our lives just don’t turn out how we thought it would. Especially as a woman, being successful professionally, and not romantically is completely gut wrenching. I also felt like my family did not help me learn to have successful relationship…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/24 03:46 AM
9

You don’t respect his job, how he handles his finances, his marriage timeline, his cultural norms. You seem quite argumentative when someone doesn’t agree with you. The reason people aren’t being supportive and are “criticizing” you is because you’re asking how to make him change his behavior when RPW is about women taking accountability for their own behavior and choices. You shouldn’t try to make a man change because if you succeed, you will loose any respect for him. You should be with a man …
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/24 03:16 AM
16

Marrying so quickly is not common in the west. Engagement after one year would still be considered fast by most people. You two seem to have a lot of incompatibilities. What makes you think you two should get married? Do you respect him?
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/24 10:50 PM
1

Ideally he is attracted to the girly parts of you, and would want you to embrace those things, however that doesn't mean he is going to enjoy everything along with you. For instance, my boyfriend thinks it's cute when I watch knitting YouTube podcasts, but I would never expect him to sit and watch along with me, and enjoy it lol. When we watch something together we choose things we both are interested in. Do you have any overlapping interests, or is it all completely separate? Generally each per…
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/24 02:09 PM
1

You should read this: Types of Guys and consider focusing on finding type 4 men at the moment.
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/24 01:54 PM
1

You’re in a rough situation and you probably need to make some big changes before you can find a good relationship. I definitely sympathize with you. The problem is not that you’re not attracting men, that is obvious. The problem is that you don’t have a life that makes you happy and feel good about yourself. You need to work on making positive changes in your life, including transitioning to a sustainable job path, not content creation. I know when you feel lonely it seems like a relationship i…
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/24 12:08 PM
1

You literally wrote that making content changed how you feel about men. You think that doesn’t come across when you’re out irl?
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/24 12:51 AM
1

What are the top 5 best things you love about him?
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/24 04:48 PM
1

I’m curious what you mean in your first paragraph. I don’t think anyone here is arguing that ethical behavior isn’t important in a relationship? Those are strong RMV characteristics.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/24 04:34 PM
2

I can’t help but notice your username. Is this an ongoing problem you’re dealing with?
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/24 04:02 PM
3

Read The Surrendered Single by Laura Doyle.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/24 01:19 PM
1

SMV doesn’t purport to solve or strategize anything. It describes your physical attractiveness. It’s up to each person do use that to create something tangible. I don’t understand why you seem to think that SMV theory states that being attractive assures women of a good life or relationship. I think you’re misunderstanding what it is.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/24 09:30 PM
7

I totally agree about the body count thing too. I think when younger girls are asking for advice it’s best to steer them towards chastity, but that’s a self selecting group that already can’t make up their own mind about it and probably aren’t going to make good choices on their own. And I think if a woman expects to use sex to get things (like a relationship) out of a man, that can be damaging over time. But the idea that exploring sexually is inherently damaging, is, I believe, unfounded, and …
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/24 08:53 PM
3

Unfortunately, no one is owed a happy marriage and family. We all have to work with what we have when we have it. Women have a fertility window which means that while we have innate value as women (providing sex and offspring), we have a shorter time frame in which to select a man and make a family. Life isn’t fair to anyone, sorry. eta: We don’t recommend listening to and following male RP advice, so bringing up their arguments here isn’t really productive.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/24 07:29 PM
5

The main tool I have used is understanding of and using hypergamy (so funny that my phone refuses to predict that word lol) in that I should find a man who is smarter and more successful than me as a way to ensure good relationship dynamics, not as a means of securing provision. Before I found RPW I knew I wanted a male-led relationship, but I kind of thought it would just happen like, if I found a man I liked, and I showed him I wanted him to lead, then he naturally would be able to step into t…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/24 06:53 PM
9

You’re asking “how useful is it? what is the actual value?” but the value isn’t tangible, it’s the value of opportunity. Your SMV is only as valuable as you make use of it, the opportunities it can bring you. Women who spend their youth not optimizing their appearance and health, focusing only on school or work (or partying), do miss out on the opportunities that they could have created by prioritizing finding a suitable husband. This is a trade off that some are fine making, but others do not r…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/24 05:25 PM
6

Yeah that’s the thing, all it does is open the door, and the more attention you get the harder it can be to find the good men. Relying only on SMV and luck is not a great strategy, in my opinion.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/24 04:29 PM
16

Of course it is. The higher your SMV the more men will be interested. All it does is open the door though. It takes all the other tools and RMV to capitalize on your SMV to create an ideal relationship. And because more men will be interested, you need to work that much harder to vet and make sure you’re choosing a suitable man.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/24 04:00 PM
2

He can’t read your mind and if the words you want to hear don’t come to him naturally, then you either need to tell him explicitly what you want to hear, or accept the ways he naturally shows you that he cares about you. It is unfair to him and to you to not communicate clearly how he can make you happy, and then stew about him not doing it exactly how you want. Be appreciative and effusive when he does express himself. Tell him how it makes you happy and feel loved. He needs to know that he can…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/24 03:11 PM
3

I appreciate it! I feel like my guy is similar in that i should be planning for things to do together rather than physical gifts.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/24 02:06 PM
3

-Be consistent in how you behave and treat him. -Cultivate your own sources of fun, accomplishment and socializing that don’t require him. This isn’t to exclude him from things, just so that you’re not relying on him to provide all your fun and social interaction. If you can find ladies groups that are focused on crafts/cooking/homemaking in some way, even better. This will be especially important when he starts working as a pilot as he will likely be gone for days at a time and you will need to…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/24 12:22 PM
3

As a man who can buy whatever you want, what do you like to get as gifts from a girl?
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/24 10:43 PM
1

Oh I agree, it’s not a good strategy! I’m just saying if you live in a progressive area, there are men that will want a traditional relationship and won’t be up front about it from the get go.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/24 05:10 PM
1

You have to get to know them a bit and then bring it up. They likely won’t bring it up first. I’ve definitely talked to a few guys who admitted that they were drawn to traditional gender role relationships but felt like they couldn’t be honest about it. But wanting something and being able to afford to have a SAHW are two different things. I think you need to look for men you get along with and always be honest about what you want. But if you’re looking for men who put that they want a SAHW in t…
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/24 02:39 PM
2

If you look you will find lots of men who want this type of relationship but they know better than to broadcast it, if they also live in a progressive area. They likely won’t have it in their profile unfortunately.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/24 10:56 AM
4

It’s mostly a compatibility thing to investigate. If his ultimate goal is living in a cabin in the woods and hiking all the time, then her goals of shopping, hanging out with her friends and traveling a lot are probably not compatible. If his goal is to own a bunch of sports cars and she wants to be churning butter and raising chickens, possibly not compatible. I think this also ties to his family. Does he want to live like they do or not? Does he have his own ideas and desires? Has he really th…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/24 08:50 PM
10

More information required. What led to their divorce, did parents remarry, how did subsequent marriages fare, what were the circumstances of the parents marriage and divorce, who did they end up living with. How does he feel about all of this, etc. I’d say that that still married parents (with good relationship) is a very good sign, but divorce isn’t like an automatic disqualifier (for me), it just means you need to be able to have open communication about both your views on marriage, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/24 06:56 PM
38

Find out how his family operates. That’s one of the biggest indicators. He will either follow along with how he was raised or go the opposite direction. That will depend on his temperament. Ask about his life goals and dreams, like what he would do if he won the lottery, that kind of thing. Like would he want to go live in the woods on a farm or in a penthouse in a big city. Then see if his actions are aligned with his desires.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/24 03:45 PM
2

This wasn’t a situation that you needed to get involved in. You don’t always need to show other people that you’re “right” and they’re “wrong.” Friend 2 conveyed the information and then stopped participating in the discussion, you interpreted that as being conflict avoidant, but it sounds like she had the right idea.
/r/RedPillWives15/08/24 01:52 PM
9

Absolutely and I think there’s things women do unconsciously and don’t realize they’re disrespectful. One example is if he makes a decision about something and then she wants to keeps talking through the issues. Oftentimes she’s not even trying to get him to change his decision, but can’t stop mulling over the different options. Things like that aren’t a huge deal once in a while, but when she understands how it comes across as questioning his decision making, she can be more careful about her b…
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/24 08:14 PM
37

I think one trait that is very difficult to find nowadays is for the woman to respect her man and be able to show that respect in a way that is meaningful to him. I feel like women don’t intrinsically understand respect the way men do, and because it’s not considered important for women to be respectful to men generally in our society, women aren’t taught how to do it. When a woman can do this, it can make her quite valuable to her man.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/24 05:34 PM
17

Family, friends, school. If you already have family connections in the class you want to date in, that should be plenty of opportunity. If you went to a top school get involved in alumni activities.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/24 12:08 AM
5

Do you have a monthly budget for your combined expenses? If not i would start there.
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/24 03:28 PM
3

Do you have any idea how they handle their finances?
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/24 12:57 PM
4

Does he have any positive role models of married couples in his life?
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/24 11:07 AM
1

Probably Empowered Wife since the singles one is about attracting a man and dating. Maybe check out her website and podcast too.
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/24 10:47 AM
1

You make a strong case for staying with him here. Have you tried reading Laura Doyle and following her skills? Obviously you have your reason to stay in the relationship, and she can help, if that’s what you want. It sounds like his job situation could be causing him to feel embarrassed and lash out at you (which is not a good sign of his character) but it could be a temporary situation. You standing by him through it could either make him love you more or lose respect for staying with him when …
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/24 01:13 AM
6

What is his parent’s relationship like? Did his mom continue to work/contribute money after his birth? Does he have married siblings with kids, or close friends?
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/24 09:05 PM
6

I don’t think there is a good reason for you to “fight” for anything right now. You should wait and see what he does. But if he’s stepping back, you trying to argue to change his mind isn’t going to get you the relationship you want. Do you want to have to drag him into this relationship with you if he’s not enthusiastic? I’m in a LDR and after our visits we’re both lower energy in the following week due to missing each other and feeling lonely. Sometimes one or the other is more withdrawn and c…
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/24 01:02 AM
6

None of these criticisms are about you not being a good person, so that is a very weird thing for him to say. Maybe point out that women don’t respond to “tough love” the way men do. Women respond to praise of good behavior. It ind of sounds like he doesn’t actually care about you changing these parts of you or not, he is just wants to be hurtful. If he truly wanted you to change, a good leader would discuss his goals for you, help create a plan of action, encourage you and reward your efforts, …
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/24 12:38 AM
2

I’m older than you 😉. I actually have a LDR and I’m going to move to his city and then we’re going to buy some rural property and build a house. I was very stuck on trying to decide where to move to start dating and didn’t want to date men in this city, and lo, I met a great man who doesn’t live here, exactly what i wanted lol. So not exactly a strategy i would recommend for anyone but it’s working for me so far lol.
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/24 12:22 AM
2

I’m in a similar boat where I don’t want to stay in my east coast US city, all my family is on the west coast (California) and I want to be closer but I don’t really want to move there, most of my friends have now moved out of my city, and I have a good job here but I could probably find another good job fairly easily. Lots of things pulling me different directions and no real definitive pull to a certain place. I think you need to accept that there are trade offs no matter where you go, and whi…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/24 08:34 PM
2

Ok I see! I think you should move to where the better job would be and where you would most like to live long term. Where does your family live?
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/24 07:44 PM
1

She was saying Laura Doyle is the Queen of “wives releasing controlling habits…” not that it’s a book title.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/24 07:10 PM
2

Why don’t you spend a week in Manchester before making any decisions? I don’t think you should worry so much about what dating activities each city has. If you enjoy the man’s company it won’t matter so much what you’re doing, right? I think what you need to decide is if experiencing both these cities is more important than finding a husband. If yes, then do your two city plan. If no, then move to the place you want to settle down and start looking for a man there.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/24 06:37 PM
1

Writing out how you feel, like you did here could help. Meditation and practicing gratitude will definitely help. Does he have other female friends that he texts with? Do you have male friends that you text with? Certainly some people believe that having these types of friends when in a relationship is a dealbreaker, but some people are just friends. If you can say this in a non-combative way and not turn it into and argument, you could bring up the fact that he is texting someone who he was int…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/24 02:10 PM
4

Using apps helped me a lot. I rarely had luck meeting men irl but using apps definitely helped increase my self confidence and made me less scared of talking to men in general. I came away feeling like there were tons of great men out there I could have a good relationship with. Of course there’s lots of guys who just want to hook up but I never felt like disrespected by that, we were just incompatible, no big deal! That abundance mentality, for me, made me more inclined to try to make things wo…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/24 01:34 PM
6

That is a good point about respecting his decision making process. Maybe communicating that it makes you feel bad to be in this position where you have to say no to him, because it flips the dynamic and puts you in a position of authority over him. That would make me feel uncomfortable.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/24 06:27 PM
26

I agree that he shouldn’t be asking you to monitor him like that. He needs to be his own source of self discipline. If he makes you responsible for what he puts in his mouth like of course it will lead to resentment on both sides. However I think you can still help with his goals in other ways. Perhaps you can plan out a weekly menu together (or you make them and he approves them) that includes both healthy and rare cheaty meals. When he asks if he can have soda or other unhealthy foods you can …
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/24 12:30 PM
84

Having sex with any of these men, or anyone you met online is not going to benefit you in any way. There is no downside to waiting, especially when you’re not in a relationship and you don’t seem to be emotionally stable. Focus on treating and stabilizing your condition before entering any relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/24 04:12 PM
17

Are these feelings related to your difficulty finding a job after being laid off?
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/24 02:57 AM
3

Yeah I’ve always felt more motivated to make positive changes when I was actively dating or in a relationship. Taking time for myself to do self improvement/“work on myself” was never very successful for me, but I didn’t have the framing of nun-mode at the time. Don’t know if it would have been useful for me or not.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/24 01:25 PM
39

Self improvement is always worth it, if you actually improve yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/24 11:45 PM
7

Yeah, it’s easy to project what we find attractive in men (success and independence) onto ourselves and assume they are equally attractive to men. I don’t know what forum you’re expecting these DMs, is it OLD or social media? I would say if the feedback you’re getting is “intimidating” then allow yourself to explore the opposite of that: nice! cute! silly! Of course be yourself, but be open to these vulnerable and feminine qualities in yourself. Also, are you dating men who are more or less acco…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/24 10:53 PM
19

Are you attractive, pleasant, supportive, gracious, fun, agreeable, gentle, and/or playful? Having your shit together is not a problem, but being competitive and overly independent would likely be a turn off. Do you let men know you’re interested and available in non-slutty ways?
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/24 07:09 PM
15

Most people agree that children benefit from being raised in intact homes, and so do not see a woman choosing to be a single mother as an ideal choice for the child. Also, this is a sub about relationships with men, and choosing to have a child on your own is not a way to be more attractive to most men.
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/24 06:46 PM
10

You should let it go. Continuing to harp on this issue is disrespectful. Sounds like you’re mothering him with the medical stuff too.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/24 05:36 PM
5

I think one key difference some one mentioned is the Pink Pill states that these are traits that women possess that make them inherently valuable (no matter how they actually act in the relationship), while RPW states that these are skills/actions that can be learned/improved and either provided to the man in the relationship or withheld. Like the traits themselves are valuable but you need to be conscious of how well you’re providing them or not, if this is what you’re bringing to the relations…
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/24 02:05 PM
5

I didn’t downvote, but I think it was unclear what actionable advice there was. You said that women should test a man they’re dating (for compatibility of relationship goals, I assume), she asked for examples and you mentioned shit testing, which already happens unconsciously and usually we’re advised to avoid doing it as it’s considered “playing games”. I don’t see how additional shit testing would help find out if a guy is serious long term in a case like this. Maybe I’m missing something?
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/24 01:54 PM
2

I’m sure he did. Look, some women would be able to do that and be happy in their relationship and lots would not. It’s fine if you’re not ok with it, you have plenty of time to find a different man. Do you know anyone who has a relationship like that? Do you know any happy women whose husbands have girlfriends or mistresses? If so, go talk to them about it. If this is normal male behavior playing out naturally, and lots of women accept it, there should be lots of couples in the same situation, r…
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/24 11:05 AM
1

Admittedly I have never seen their content, but in the posts I have come across from Vindicta and FDS, they’re focused on landing the man and extracting resources, and not on creating a mutually satisfying relationship, using RMV tools like showing respect and being supportive. But this falls under point #5 probably, the focus on SMV over RMV.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/24 05:43 PM
3

AWALT/AMALT are unconscious foundational biological processes. They don’t manifest the same way in everyone and the more one is aware of them, the more one can consciously control what have previously been unconscious actions. Like, in my opinion most women don’t consciously decide to shit-test, but it happens anyway because of our nature, and the more awareness we have of that tendency the more we can control ourselves.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/24 04:28 PM
4

I think part of that is because there’s so many resources on how to improve your looks, but no one else is talking about RMV.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/24 03:02 PM
6

I’m sorry, this sounds very difficult. You should not try to force yourself to accept him sleeping with and dating other women if it’s making you feel this way.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/24 01:33 PM
3

Two links in the post address those specific things: vetting and incremental reciprocity.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/24 01:26 PM
4

Are you married?
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/24 07:32 PM
2

No one is trying to force you to get married if you don’t want to. We are here for women who want LTRs/marriage with appropriate men. You are really letting your own preferences color your view of relationships for everyone else.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/24 06:16 PM
3

No, it assumes that women only sleep with men they want a relationship with, which I agree isn’t true 100% of the time, though it’s definitely a best practice.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/24 06:04 PM
3

Yeah a woman can get a relationship if she lowers her standards just like men can get sex if they keep lowering their standards. It’s the same principle. The point is that women can’t demand a relationship with a man just because he will have sex with her.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/24 11:22 AM
3

I think that inherent in the phrase the woman has already decided that the man is sexually attractive, and therefore desirable for a relationship. It is then his decision to give her the relationship or not, because his standards for who to have a relationship with are different than his standards of who to sleep with. It’s supposed to describe male female dynamics on a one to one level, not saying that all men are equally desirable for relationships.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/24 11:15 AM
3

I disagree. Women still want to get married to good men. Those men still have standards for women they will choose to be in a relationship with. And those men will have the option to decide if the women get the relationship or just sex.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/24 11:57 PM
3

Hiking group?
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/24 08:39 PM
2

That’s good, like that’s how most women learn to cook lol. I recommend starting with breakfast, eggs and things, because it’s pretty easy. Like that’s what I started cooking when I was a little kid. Then think about what you (and your BF) like to eat, and start learning to make that stuff. I know some people say to stay away from baking as it’s very precise, but I kinda feel like that’s a good way to learn, like if you follow the instructions well, you know it will turn out good!! Also, as you’r…
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/24 08:34 PM
3

No, he wouldn’t have been so weird about the parents if he was at all interested in a real relationship with her.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/24 08:25 PM
3

I have hyperpigmentation/sun damage on my face and I was talking to my boyfriend about options I was considering to treat it, and he’s all “but i love your cute freckles!!!” 🙃🙃🙃 lol you just can’t tell what some people will be attracted too.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/24 04:13 PM
1

Do your parents cook? Can they teach you?
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/24 01:49 PM
45

You’re incorrect. But if you’re looking for a sub for male bashing, you’re right this isn’t the one you want.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/24 01:40 AM
65

Women are the gatekeepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of relationships. That’s why women’s RP is about relationships and men’s RP is about being sexually appealing.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/24 01:19 AM
9

Taking care of yourself really helps. Exercise, meditation/gratitude practice, home cooked food, keeping your home/room clean, hobbies that make you feel proud of yourself, having quality relationships with friends and family. Avoiding hormonal birth control and antidepressants if possible can also help.
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/24 05:23 PM
3

It’s ok to not date at this time if it makes you uncomfortable. Maybe focus on making friends now, if only for the fact that not having any friends would likely be a red flag for a good man, and is a green flag for unhealthy, abusive men. It’s ok to socialize through work and family too! What hobbies do you have that make you feel good and not anxious or insecure? A meditation practice is always good for that too. Practice gratitude for what you do have and don’t dwell on your perceived facial f…
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/24 02:44 PM
5

Also good options for people who don’t drink alcohol.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/24 11:23 PM
14

Asking someone to “be more thoughtful” is too vague. You’re saying you want him to read your mind. You should ask him to support you in specific ways. Use your words. Read Laura Doyle for advice on how to express your desires in a feminine way. Also, you sound kind of dismissive of his job and how he spends his time. If he’s successful in his career, it shouldn’t matter to you if he has downtime during the day and plays video games. Just something to consider as that could negatively impact your…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/24 11:22 PM
4

How does he feel about that? It could be a good indication or he may want the opposite.
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/24 08:25 PM
16

Also note how his parents handle money, if possible, and what he thinks about it.
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/24 03:56 PM
2

I was a blonde kid and now have light brown hair that I dye blonde, and my eyebrows are fairly light and look too intense if they get too dark. Thanks for the info! I’m all about semi/permanent beauty stuff that makes me feel lower maintenance day to day. I sew occasionally. It’s fun and I enjoy it but it’s expensive and time consuming to make wearable items. But being able to do mending and small repairs or hemming is actually helpful in our modern times lol.
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/24 03:42 PM
3

Maturity is part of RMV not SMV, so it’s not meant to attract a man but to support an actual relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/24 03:29 PM
2

Thank you so much!! I got a professional tint and curl last month and I really liked it but not worth $150! lol I may work up to doing my eyebrows too but I’m really worried about getting them too dark and looking weird.
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/24 02:36 PM
2

What do you use for eyelash tint? I tried Sport Mascara and it barely made a difference.
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/24 01:41 PM
2

That’s good that he’s initiating! Let him lead with the initiations for a while and see what happens.
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/24 12:12 AM
5

Oh man I wish I didn’t relate so much. Is he also initiating or is it only you? If he is, try reducing your initiations to the same level or slightly less than his. Cuddle and be close to him without always turning it sexual. If he’s able to talk about it, find out what his ideal frequency would be and see if that is enough for you. If he won’t talk about it just continue to be available and receptive to him and he may warm up over time. There are many factors that could be lowering his libido, …
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/24 09:18 PM
3

Read Laura Doyle’s Empowered Wife
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/24 03:45 PM
17

Learn to cook well, it will save you tons of money. Get a library card and use their resources. There are usually tons of online/electronic library resources you can access from your phone, like audiobooks or ebooks once you have the card. Learn to meditate. Figure out how to exercise regularly. Use the public transportation available to you or get a bike. You can be happy with your life under these circumstances and you won’t have to fake anything. Then set achievable goals to create a life you…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/24 03:43 PM
2

I agree but it also seems like maybe OP needs these things spelled out to her like that. He’s being nice because he’s attracted to her and wants to have sex with her. She’s “shocked” he not just a nice person treating her like he would any other co-worker. It doesn’t sound like he is trying to actually date her.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/24 01:28 AM
7

I think also so many women don’t (and don’t know how to) let themselves be led. It can be a learning process and so often the man will give in to make the woman happy, when she needs him to be strong and not let her get her way all the time. Especially if a woman has been in charge of herself for a while, it’s like a habit to break to let someone else be in charge. Especially when he doesn’t make the decision you think he should!! lol
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/24 04:00 PM
10

Your last post says you’re dating with serious intentions, but if you’re going to be an MD you will almost certainly need to move for your residency, correct? So what is your plan for how to deal with this? Do you want to be married before leaving for your residency and living apart for a few years? I know people who have done that and it can work, but also, as with this man, many people would not be happy doing that. Especially if he wants to start having children soon. If this is your career p…
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/24 04:56 PM
6

How old are both of you? This is something he could address if he actually thinks it’s a problem in himself. Probably he wouldn’t be able to change it only to make you feel better, that’s not how these things usually work. Does he have any other examples of overreacting when something goes wrong? Does he often catastrophize or assume the worst about things? I have noticed lots of guys blaming themselves for mistakes/errors that anyone can easily make and don’t even reflect badly on them in my mi…
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/24 07:21 PM
6

If you take care of yourself and don’t act like a bitter man-hating shrew or an entitled bitch, most men will continue to treat you exactly the same way.
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/24 01:22 AM
2

Well I don’t think you’re doing anything obviously wrong, although using apps would help meet more men, especially ones that do share your interests. Try reading The Surrendered Single (or whatever it’s called now) by Laura Doyle, it has information about dating. I would suspect that these men were not interested in a relationship and were not put off so quickly because of your hobbies, but they were hoping for a quick hookup and realized it wasn’t going to happen with you. One last idea, and I …
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/24 01:03 AM
2

You have said your area is very rural and there lower population density. Are you open to/planning on moving somewhere with more people?
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 10:51 PM
3

Are you approaching/asking these men out, or are they asking you?
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 09:14 PM
8

I don’t think they’re declining a second date because of your hobbies, that would be very odd unless you’re being obnoxious about them (doesn’t sound like it) or they have a moral objection to the hunting (doesn’t sound like that is the case). Besides the hunting and military history, the rest are not particularly masculine hobbies. They are not into you for some other reason, perhaps they sense there a hookup isn’t in the cards and make up an excuse? My boyfriend loves to take me hiking, is tea…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 08:42 PM
3

Obviously he is asking for a lot and I’m not going to address if what he wants is possible or if you’re able to (or if you should) behave how he wants. But a couple of thoughts: As a leader, he should be willing and able to lead, not just demand. By that I mean, he should be able to help you get to where he wants you/your relationship to be, especially when he knows that his relationship vision is rather extreme, and you are willing and able to try to fulfill his vision. Instead of demanding you…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 12:25 AM
1

So you can easily treat him as a family friend and not a close personal friend.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/24 03:46 PM
0

why do you want to preach something you don’t understand?
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/24 05:22 PM
1

He’s telling you that’s not what he wants.
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/24 03:22 PM
6

Don’t listen to podcasts aimed at men. Male RP goals are not the same as female RP goals, so they won’t help you.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/24 11:36 PM
2

Whether or not you can successfully (enjoyably, non-painfully) have PIV without a lot of mood setting varies quite a bit between women, so you will need to see what you’re capable of. Personally I don’t find it difficult to “get in the mood” during the act as long as I’m attracted to my partner. Some women say it’s impossible for them to do so and therefore, impossible for all women. Often people assume their experiences are universally shared, but sexuality is an area where there is a lot of va…
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/24 08:47 PM
13

Making out in parks is not the solution to this problem.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/24 11:34 PM
24

Controlling your husband’s phone use is not likely to build intimacy in your relationship. I’d guess it will increase resentment in both of you.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/24 01:08 AM
4

I’m so sorry you’re feeling unwanted. Unfortunately i have been in the same situation. The issue my ex had was medical and he basically refused to look into it for years until I broke up with him. I feel like unless he seriously agrees that it’s an issue and takes concrete steps to make changes/improvements, you should leave. He either doesn’t think there is actually a problem or he’s in denial and can’t face whatever the issue actually is.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/23 04:27 PM
2

Start with reading the wiki and the recommended books. https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/fYy7PCHUZS Like the other commenters said, you need to identify specific behaviors to be able to address them. It sounds like you should start with simply STFU, to give yourself time to think about how you feel, and how you want to behave, and how you are relating to your husband. Each time something happens and you don’t like how you reacted, take time to write it out and try to figure out what is at …
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/23 01:15 PM
1

You shouldn’t do anything you truly don’t want to do, but you should also take seriously how important sex is for men in a relationship. You’re focused on the letter not the spirit.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/23 05:38 PM
15

Not finding a new boyfriend after two months is not really a problem. You’re doing what you’re supposed to do, meeting new men and seeing if you’re compatible, on both sides. Did you expect every man you went on a date with to want a relationship with you?
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/23 02:03 PM
1

Don’t explain that lingerie is a gift for him and not you. Just say what you would really want to get. You can focus on the positive (what he can do to make you happy), without ever mentioning the gift you didn’t like that much.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/23 01:59 PM
6

The only justification you need is between you and him. If he is happy with this plan, then what his friends and family think should not matter and he should be the one dealing with any judgement from them. This is obviously an unusual situation so you should really think about how much, how, and when you might want to discuss what happened with his family members so they can understand your situation. I assume you have a therapist who can help figure this out. ETA: I saw your edit about your gi…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/23 01:27 PM
1

She’s asking if she’s at an age where she will be overlooked now. She has some unrealistic fear of being post wall because of her age. No one has suggested that she should waste her time.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 04:41 PM
1

How is that helpful advice for someone in her position?
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 04:29 PM
31

No you didn’t do anything wrong. You’re supposed to have standards for how you are treated and stop seeing guys who aren’t on the same page. You need more experience talking to and relating to men in a dating context (not getting committed and sleeping together quickly). Stop talking to this man and find someone else. Look for someone who is excited about being with you.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 01:14 PM
17

That's the whole point of this sub lol
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 07:17 PM
8

What's expected at your age is to know what you want and not be apologetic about it. It's absolutely fine to want to meet a man and get married. Lots of men want to get married after 40. Why are you saying commitment isn't appropriate??? What is that? You may need to widen your scope of who you will accept, but you don't need to change what you want, a committed relationship with a man you respect and are attracted to.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 06:26 PM
5

This is ridiculous lol. She needs to be open to divorced single dads, not polygamy.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 05:04 PM
9

I think you might be catastrophizing. People are much the same as they always have been. The reason people your age don’t value chastity is most single people at that age are divorced or have had significant LTRs. No one expects anyone to be “pure” at this age.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 04:59 PM
11

If you think using a dating app right now might be detrimental to your self esteem, don’t do it. Wait until you feel more stable. You should be using apps as a tool to meet men, not to get validation of your attractiveness and self worth.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 11:42 AM
12

It’s completely up to you. You can be as picky as you want and never settle for less than perfection, literally no one cares what you do. You don’t even seem interested in trying so why are you posting? Do you want us to convince you that you need to be in a relationship, because you don’t need to, if you actually don’t care and don’t want to risk being hurt or disappointed by someone else ever. Most people want a relationship despite the possible downsides or difficulties because to them, the b…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 10:09 PM
2

Next time I would ask "Why do you bring this up?" and just see what he says. It is odd to be so common. Although, you said it is often in reaction to you revealing you were cheated on, so it might be that they are trying to rationalize why that happened.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 08:37 PM
3

My experience was a lot like yours, going years at a time with no masturbation or sexual contact. I finally discovered that i’m extremely sexually submissive and it takes the right type of stimulation to get turned on, but now that i know what/who that is, it’s absolutely reliable and I never have any libido issues, as long as I’m being true to myself.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 06:16 AM
2

Thank you so much! I’m trying to figure out all this stuff too, as I was not raised to view relationships and men in the RPW way. I use answering questions as a way to think through these issues for myself and solidify these values in my own mind, so I can successfully apply them in my life. It so nice to hear when things resonate with other women here.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 01:49 AM
10

You shouldn’t get mad at his physical reaction. He can’t control it. You need to deal with that. He can’t respond in the same way that you can when he wants it.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 06:46 PM
21

Give him some time. Try to make him feel desirable without pressure to perform. And if he says he’s not into it don’t push him, you don’t want to create a fear of him not being able to perform in either of you.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 04:21 PM
7

Has he always had the same libido or has something changed?
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 04:03 PM
3

I’m very sorry to hear this, I just wanted to say that having the strength to take care of your family will not make you lose your femininity, it’s just another aspect. You can choose to remain soft, light hearted (as much as possible), vulnerable, reassuring, docile and obedient to your husband through all trials that come. Tragedy gives us an opportunity to show our love in a different way, in spite of the loss we suffer.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 04:01 PM
9

I love this answer!
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 01:09 PM
2

Trust=respect is what I was trying to say in my 5th paragraph as well. I will also say that, for me and probably lots of women, I have to/have had to learn how men view respect and what respect and disrespect looks like to them, because it’s not obvious to me like it is to them. This is a perfect example: to you it’s a fear of a bad thing that could happen and you’re only seeing your perspective, to him it’s disrespecting his integrity as a man by not trusting him.
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/23 07:33 PM
10

This seems like an extension of every other insecurity that you have brought up here. Have you been successful in overcoming any of the past challenges you have described? It sounds like you feel there is a magic combination of people/situations/experiences that will cause your relationship to end. There isn’t. You can’t control him or anything he does, and even if you could, you cannot predict the actual outcome of what you think the correct combination would be. Maybe spending time with this f…
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/23 01:38 PM
2

Men love having their head stroked or scratched. Men love to cuddle in bed with their girl. They love being massaged and hugged and to have their muscles felt. I don’t think any of this is effeminate unless the man is looking for it in an effeminate, validation seeking way.
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/23 01:00 AM
1

I wonder if what happened is that you had an unconscious assumption that his experience was like yours, and when he destroyed that illusion for you, it was super jarring and uncomfortable. When we think something is one way and it ends up being different it can be very upsetting. I’m seeing this happening over and over with my friend’s toddler and now I keep seeing it in grown ups too. I think you need to give yourself time to integrate the new information, and also to focus on your boyfriend’s …
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 02:14 PM
8

Since you are aware of this specific thing, I would be very mindful next time to actively work on nurturing him while he’s sick, and think positive thoughts to create a new mental association. So this means thinking about what you can do for him and doing it, asking him what you can do for him and doing it, and thinking about what he did for you this time and doing that, and at the same time reflecting on how it makes you feel in the moment and focusing on enjoying serving and nurturing him, how…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 01:48 PM
3

Yes, this is what I thought. If he is in most ways a good leader, try following him in this and see what happens.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/23 09:42 PM
4

Men’s red pill =/= women’s red pill
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/23 09:07 PM
3

I think you’re mistaking the aims of this sub. This sub is about finding and maintaining committed male-led relationships. TRP has a lot of information about attracting (and possibly discarding) women because that’s what a lot of men value and have trouble with. That doesn’t mean that our goals are the inverse of that, exploiting men financially and then discarding them. There is also a lot of RP information about maintaining LTRs, if you bother to look.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/23 09:00 PM
15

RPW is not about exploiting men for money what are you talking about?
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/23 07:23 PM
25

Have some self respect and get therapy. Stop lying to yourself and this guy. There are plenty of guys who will marry you with your situation, find one of them and not someone you have to lie to.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/23 07:10 PM
1

Maybe he was the problem, not you.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/23 05:24 PM
6

Yes, it's difficult to understand something that you have not experienced, but that doesn't mean it's not true. With my very first boyfriend, we had amazing compatibility and sex was always really good. He even said that I shouldn't expect it to always be so good, because sometimes it could be just mediocre or meh, but I didn't understand because it was always really good. So I thought, "hey, I like sex! Cool!", and what I found out is that it can be very different depending on a lot of things, …
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/23 05:23 PM
3

You are making this too black and white, and you think anyone who doesn't have your exact experience is lying. You should open your mind that other women experience things differently than you. We are here telling you that sex is not painful, even when we aren't particularly "in the mood." That is real.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/23 04:39 PM
2

Have you considered that you were just not compatible with this man and that neither of you are “wrong”?
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/23 02:09 PM
7

This is a good point that sometimes the issue is more complicated than what can be encapsulated in a post. I have personally had two relationships that were basically 90% asexual, because of the man, and I still don’t know exactly what the problems were because they would not talk about it. I have some ideas, but it got to the point where trying to talk about it would cause a bigger fight so I learned to avoid bringing it up. Step one is understanding how important sex is in a healthy relationsh…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/23 12:14 PM
6

It’s possible that you weren’t actually attracted enough to this man to get aroused by his desire for you. I had a whole relationship with a man and my body just didn’t respond to sex with him, I always needed lube with him, which is not something that I’ve ever needed before or since. It’s possible to like someone, but not be sexually compatible. It sounds like you have had positive sexual experiences outside this relationship, so that could be a clue that it was an issue between you and this o…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/23 10:19 AM
2

So you should be able to make friends with other attractive women then, right?
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/23 12:58 AM
3

So do attractive women also avoid being friends with you?
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/23 10:06 PM
3

Are you threatened by attractive women? Do you try to make friends with women who are better looking than you?
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/23 08:29 PM
38

You should be focusing on controlling your anxiety right now.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/23 07:39 PM
1

Yeah, i’m not too familiar but I’ve seen people talk about female hrt in other relationship subs. Seems like it’s really dependent on finding a good obgyn or endocrinologist, and of course being a good candidate. I know thinning of certain mucus membranes can be a thing… 😬😬😬
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/23 07:35 PM
6

Hormone therapy can help after menopause. You would need to discuss with a doctor and get a prescription. I believe there are subs here that discuss this too, although it’s not something I’m personally familiar with.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/23 05:22 PM
16

If this was me I would have asked my man how to respond to the 1am text. Your boyfriend knows he did that, right?
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/23 02:19 AM
1

Ok yeah, arguments with family is a little different than with a partner. Do you live at home? I moved away as soon as possible, mostly to get away from my mom.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/23 01:33 PM
8

I don’t really understand why you need to resort to verbal abuse at all? Are you saying this is a reactive response to people you resent? I think it would be in your best interest to work on controlling your anger in those moments. I don’t believe there’s ever a reason to have a heated/yelling argument. I know some people believe that arguing is healthy and lets people be emotionally honest, but that is not the case for me personally. Arguments make me overwhelmed and I can’t think straight, it …
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/23 03:56 AM
2

I don’t let other people dictate how I behave. I choose to relate to others with kindness and grace because it’s a reflection of my own values, and I do not believe that is a weakness.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/23 03:45 AM
4

I would suggest reading the recommended material in the sidebar. One of the things that made things shift in my mind was learning that what men mostly want is to be able to make their woman happy. I had always assumed/been told that men usually want to abuse or exploit women, in some capacity. Through reading, opening my mind, and seeing how the men in my life actually behaved, I was able to change my mind and accept what I now believe is the truth, then generally men are good and want to protec…
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/23 10:52 PM
0

And you don’t understand men as well as you think you do.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/23 10:41 PM
108

I think having a healthy, active sex life that you both enjoy is what is important. If that means playing out a pornstar persona, that’s totally cool. Role playing can absolutely address a man’s desire for sexual variety. I don’t think it’s a requirement as some men would be turned off by this type of behavior from their wife, and some women wouldn’t be comfortable doing it, but they can have fulfilling sex lives too.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/23 06:36 PM
7

Block everyone and stay out of their drama lol
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/23 06:25 PM
1

I’m planning to get a bleph too, awesome. Most people have no idea what they’re talking about regarding plastic surgery. I would talk to women who have actually had those procedures.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/23 12:00 AM
6

Yeah, I would assume that someone contemplating surgery would already be at a certain level of fitness and grooming, but I guess you just never know lol
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/23 09:06 PM
5

SMV is Sexual Market Value, it means how hot are you? What is the surgery you want to get?
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/23 08:58 PM
20

I'm sorry, but saying men don't care about what their woman looks like is a lie and completely against RPW.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/23 06:59 PM
27

What kind of degree? What kind of surgery? ETA: Has a man actually said that he was attracted to you, but your lack of an advanced degree was a deal breaker? Normally the advice is that academic or career achievement isn't an attractor for men, however, often men with advanced degrees end up with women in the same strata. If the problem is that you're not attractive enough to keep a man you're attracted to, then you would be better served by increasing SMV rather than investing in further educat…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/23 06:10 PM
8

Yeah I agree, like looks open the door, but how he behaves and treats me is what will actually turn me on or not.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 05:35 PM
3

I totally get having family disagree with how you want your relationship to be, so I share as little as possible. It would be nice to have their support, but I am fine knowing that we value different things.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 05:33 PM
5

lol idk but there’s places where guys post their daily outfits and search for vintage leather jackets and stuff. Vintage reproductions from japan, raw denim, sneakers, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 04:59 PM
13

I think most guys are just as invested in looking good as most women. The amount of time I’ve spent with a guy trying on jeans or shoes or hats lol or how long they can take rolling their pants up to the perfect height. Guys who go to the barber every week, and own thousands of dollars worth of fragrances. Let’s not even get started on watches lol They just express it in a different way. Maybe it’s more about validating themselves that they look good and less about needing outside validation lik…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 04:52 PM
3

I think you need to find within yourself what can bring you joy in doing these wifely things. I mean, don’t do them to see what it gets you from him. Do the things that can bring you joy in giving and serving. Like cooking because you enjoy making food for your family (him), and cleaning because you want to have a clean and welcoming home. If you live together, cooking and cleaning is for you as much as it is for him. Also, consider behaving as the girlfriend/wife you want to be, rather than wha…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 04:33 PM
3

I’d suggest a sport as one choice. Otherwise I’d guess it depends on the kind of school you’re at. Cold approaching other females at college should be fine, everyone is trying to make friends.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 02:20 AM
1

I just checked this book out again and I'm at the part where he's talking about how men view relationships as a progression, and tend to see progressing beyond the honeymoon/infatuation phase as positive, and trying to go back to how you were when dating feels like a regression, not recapturing what was good about the relationship. Very interesting stuff!!
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/23 08:29 PM
5

Regular meditation can really help with staying in control of your thoughts and emotions, if that is the issue. Practicing gratitude for things that don’t necessarily go your way or work out can help you accept the situation and perhaps reveal a lesson that is ultimately more valuable than getting the thing you thought you wanted would have been. Try to see the positive/silver lining in everything that happens. Having a physical outlet for negative emotions can be really helpful too. Try to dive…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/23 02:24 PM
2

This is great advice, seriously.
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 09:39 PM
1

Meditation can really help with slowing down your mind/runaway thoughts.
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 09:21 PM
7

Hi OP, I was reading your post history, and I think there are some more levels to this. -You need a therapist to talk about your parents being suicidal. You really can't rely on your boyfriend to help support you more than he is doing. That is just not something that most people are capable of. -You should read about different communication styles between men and women. It's very hard for men to just listen without feeling like they need to be able to fix the problem or they have failed. The boo…
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 09:07 PM
3

She has strategies that will address your exact issues.
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 08:45 PM
2

Yeah, I mean, I probably would have assumed the same thing as that is basic financial planning strategy! I'm tucking this away as something to ask about.
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 08:36 PM
2

Did you know this before you got married?
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 06:30 PM
39

The first step is to accept his support when he offers it, even if it’s not on your terms. You should have thanked him for coming to meet you at the mall and spent time face to face. It sounds like you don’t respect his time given that you canceled plans last minute and you think him seeing you when it’s convenient to him is not good enough and he should come running to you any time you feel sad. If he did this you could lose attraction because he will seem manipulatable and weak. Be careful wha…
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 03:27 PM
27

In your last post you were recommended to read The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle, have you tried doing that and implementing her strategies?
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 09:17 AM
44

I think a broad chest and shoulders, strong arms and nice legs are all more attractive than a six-pack. And I agree with u/Egoistchan that strength and health is more attractive than just being as jacked as possible and using steroids. Like, perhaps I’m being an asshole here, but if a guy is too jacked then I start to assume he’s probably kinda dumb. Or perhaps by “dumb” I mean that I assume he’s prioritizing bodybuilding to the detriment of other things in life, but that is purely my own assump…
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/23 11:33 AM
11

Laura Doyle, check out her books and her website. Her relationship strategies are widely endorsed by RPW.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/23 01:04 AM
13

I don’t think buying tickets to one concert is going to make much of a difference one way or another. No it’s not masculine to buy tickets to a concert you both want to see. He will most likely appreciate the gesture.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 09:19 PM
2

You should text first
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 03:45 PM
11

Shower and dry your hair in the evening?
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 01:16 PM
12

This is an interesting question. I’ve never made a list of rules to follow. I suppose I’ve never been interested in texting or hanging out with other guys when I’m seeing someone so I never thought to make that a “rule.” eta: Ok, one rule is I try to think about deliberately being respectful because I don’t live in a very respectful society so I feel like it takes a little extra effort to make sure I’m not being inadvertently disrespectful.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/23 06:48 PM
26

Unless he’s into wearing rings or other jewelry I don’t think you should buy anything like this for him. A lot of men don’t like jewelry, so it wouldn’t be a thoughtful gift if it’s something he wouldn’t want to wear but now he feels pressured to wear it because you gave it to him. If he actually likes jewelry or trinkets, i think getting it for him as a token of your love is appropriate but not as a promise ring type of thing. Those relationship milestones should be initiated and executed by hi…
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/23 01:41 PM
3

Aren’t you already married?
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/23 01:24 PM
3

Being in love should be the first criteria to meet but not the last.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/23 01:25 AM
38

Right, the whole point of this sub is how to be a valuable partner to your man, not how to extract the most value from a target.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/23 03:07 PM
3

I don’t understand how going on a trip with your boyfriend, to the place you picked out, feels “less special” because he asked you to contribute some money. This sounds quite entitled on your part.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/23 03:03 PM
1

I wouldn’t go looking at who they follow because that is pathetic, dare I say “low value,” behavior.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/23 02:51 PM
13

This is wonderful ☺️ I’d suggest you remain open to his loving actions and behavior and don’t make it a requirement in your mind that he needs to say a specific set of words to show that he loves you and he is sorry.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/23 05:03 PM
2

The point is to be discerning with who you do sleep with and when, not never sleep with a man you're attracted to until x number of dates. Deciding when to have sex is also part of vetting for pre/post commitment risk (category 3 vs. category 4 men). You apparently are a category 3 man, where a woman needs to sleep with you before you will provide commitment. Not all men are like that, and not all women want to take that risk.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 08:03 PM
12

I don't understand what this is supposed to accomplish.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 07:37 PM
1

I have another question, if you don’t mind. Since both you and your husband are self made/married up, and now are very wealthy, how does that affect how you’re raising your children? Do you want them to have any appreciation for where you both came from? Do you worry about them having drive or direction when they are growing up with so much already provided to them? I know with older wealth families there is usually a traditional path for the kids to follow, and as long as they are happy with th…
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 12:23 PM
2

How lovely! Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 02:24 AM
1

Do you have a leader/follower relationship, or is it more equal? Are you submissive to him?
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 02:17 AM
2

I actually have some questions: Do you have to hire and manage the staff? Do you use a service? What do people do with cats in a very large house? To they get full reign of the place? Do they get inadvertently locked in rarely used rooms? Does your husband allow you to talk about your lives online like this, or does he know?
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 01:33 AM
6

Men don't want women who are more successful/powerful than them either.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 07:27 PM
6

She literally named her price for being cheated on. Interesting tactic.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 07:20 PM
1

I want to move back to where all my family is and meet a guy who makes a livable income. I really don’t want to move to the Bay Area, and non-monogamy isn’t a flat out dealbreaker for me, it really depends.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 05:41 PM
1

That's wonderful to hear! I think for a relationship to work you need to be able to give each other the benefit of the doubt in situations like these. I know on my end, it really hurts when a guy would jump to the worst possible conclusion about any little thing and it's like, damn, I have never done anything to make you think I would do these things, but you go worst case scenario every time and I have to then reassure you about things that never even happened. Trusting someone else can be scar…
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 03:19 PM
3

I’ve been meaning to move back to California lol maybe this is a sign
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 12:16 AM
3

There are different types of non-profits, and not all of them pay a salary. My grandma was the president of her town's historical society for years and they were never going to be able to pay her. She still did a ton of work. I also work at a nonprofit, it's a huge university with tons of money.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/23 05:14 PM
3

This is exactly what happened to me. I was raised very feminist, and even though I naturally gravitated to more traditional views, I followed the way I was raised for a long time. Over time I gradually felt safe letting go of feminist ideas and learning what I truly valued and wanted in my life. I don't bring this up or discuss it anywhere else in my life because I don't see the point of arguing with people.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/23 05:02 PM
2

Well I think that you should assume it’s totally innocent. I just scrolled through my page and 99% is knitting and cats, and randomly there were a few girls in bikinis and Timothee Chaloman, who I definitely don’t follow lol he is so not my type. I think they just throw in popular stuff. It sounds like he’s not doing anything wrong, and punishing him for your feelings about your last boyfriend’s behavior will not lead to greater intimacy.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/23 02:18 PM
23

I’d like to think that one person at home full time would take care of the home and the family (whether there are kids or not) better than two people part time. But I don’t actually know anyone who is/was a full-time homemaker only, and didn’t end up doing part time work/head a committee or nonprofit organization/take care of other family members/developed an intense hobby, etc. I feel like there are things to be done that come to light once you’re not obligated to work to survive. Maybe that’s …
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/23 10:55 PM
4

You don’t have to articulate every thought you have.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/23 08:40 PM
2

I'm just curious, what is the context that you're seeing this stuff? I have never seen someone else's explore/search page (I didn't even know that's what the search page was called lol).
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/23 08:05 PM
11

I totally understand that! I love it too, and I feel bad for not being in control, even though I don't want to be. It's part of deprogramming ourselves from what we have been told is the correct way to relate to men.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/23 06:34 PM
77

If you’re being yourself, it’s a good thing. Of course he’s attracted to what is feminine about you. Softness is feminine. Doing things that men like, in order to attract them, and then them saying that the things are attractive is not being a “pick-me”, it’s being attractive. It’s ok to want to be attractive to men. I know it might sound like I’m being snarky but I’m really not. This is something I had to accept myself, growing up and for a long time I really didn’t honestly think it was ok to …
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/23 05:57 PM
3

I loved The Good Soldier by Ford Maddox Ford when I was younger. I would love to reread it with an RP lens lol. The Pillow-Book of Sei Shonagon is a fave. It’s kind of like a blog lol, and I love how relatable it is, just goes to show how similar to us people were 100’s of years back. PG Wodehouse is great. The Secret Garden and A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett. All Creatures Great and Small
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/23 05:34 PM
14

To take a macro view: Virgins should not sleep with guys they have only been on a handful of dates with.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/23 12:17 AM
2

You said it has nothing to do with insecurity, when, for a lot of men it absolutely would. Apparently you are not one of these men, so cool. But saying that no men would feel insecure when faced with dating someone with lots of experience is not universally true. Men might not like it for many reasons, and feeling insecure about her past is one reason.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/23 05:55 PM
9

Sometimes it's just preference and sometimes it is insecurity. Not wanting an experienced partner is a valid preference, but assuming the girl is thinking about other men and comparing to past partners is insecurity.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/23 05:06 PM
2

What were your criteria for a wife?
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/23 08:38 PM
1

That is a great article, and I also noticed that as I have refined my "checkboxes" they more like counterparts to my own (good?) qualities and I hadn't realized that before.
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/23 08:32 PM
1

She said she does the cooking and he does the cleaning, so he contributes to taking care of the household as well as leading the relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/23 03:42 PM
2

Did it ever seem like he really desired you sexually? You say there wasn’t ever much of a spark right? I had a sort of similar thing happen in a past relationship. Once he told me he wanted to marry me it’s like the sexual desire dried up. He once told me he didn’t want me to give him a bj because he respected me too much. It was very confusing at the time but looking back I had definitely went down in SMV since we got together, and there were a lot of things I wasn’t attracted to about him, tha…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/23 03:26 PM
1

chicken and beef bones together, interesting!! I need to source bones in my city lol the butcher shops are really expensive and the grocery stores don’t have much selection, and I’d like to avoid added hormones and antibiotics if possible.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/23 02:26 PM
1

I really want to start making bone broth! I made a huge thing of bone broth from the turkey after thanksgiving last year, but it tasted too much like turkey to get much use out of it lol so I scared myself out of doing it again, but with a chicken it should be way more useful
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/23 01:37 PM
3

I just found this shop’s site (Heirloom Art Co.) and they have a book section that looks pretty good. I want the Beatrix Potter set lol. Look up the Beatrix Potter ballet if you’re interested, it’s on youtube! I loved Mouse Family Album by Pamela Sampson. Laura Ingalls Wilder, Jane Austen, LM Montgomery, CS Lewis, LM Alcott are all good. I remember the American Girl Doll books being pretty good but they may have been updated now.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/23 01:33 PM
–

Yes, I was just about to make an actual response in the chance that the person isn’t just being a pest. So here is my polite response to them: When you simmer/boil a whole chicken most of the connective tissues dissolve and make the broth. There will be some chewy gristle bits which that you can choose to discard if you’re a picky squeamish eater, but it is very healthy. There will be inedible things like bones that you need to pick out or remove from the soup. I didn’t think I needed to write t…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/23 01:12 PM
17

How have you been in a relationship with him for 2 months when 30 days ago you posted that your other boyfriend of many months broke up with you and your world was ending? Did you mean two weeks instead of two months? Two weeks ago you referred to him as a new boyfriend. Anyway, stop looking at this man’s social media interactions, it’s pathetic. Having better things to do with your time is how you stop feeling insecure about this stuff. You are feeding your own anxiety about this and you have t…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/23 10:26 AM
1

Get a fucking life
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/23 09:44 AM
8

Do you think he is still attracted to you?
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/23 08:42 PM
3

That is refreshing to hear. I feel like a lot of guys say it's not important, but then will be disparaging about anyone who doesn't meet that standard. ​ But you sound like you've one of those people who still buys the lie that a degree is necessary for most people to succeed. It isn't. You're completely wrong here by the way. I work in higher education, so I see first hand every day that having a degree doesn't mean someone will be smart or interesting. I just have a BA and I'd rather chew my o…
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/23 08:35 PM
3

Text?
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/23 05:19 PM
1

lol then don’t make it 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/23 10:36 AM
8

But would you marry a woman who didn’t graduate college? Wouldn’t she have had to have done something else that qualifies as “successful” with her time? Most women don’t get married out of high school, and if they are not in school or starting some kind of career they are seen as frivolous. So it’s either career/business/school or party/model/influencer, and if you stay at home working on your homemaking and hobbies you seem weird and stunted (unless you’re making them into a business), if you d…
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/23 01:53 AM
1

Ligaments are good for you
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/23 11:03 PM
1

She asked him the question.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/23 07:37 PM
3

I'd also point out that the shopping is fun for OP, and she doesn't want to do any of the things she doesn't find fun. That's not how relationships, or grown ups, work.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/23 06:56 PM
1

Probably from their perspective yeah, you let them take you out on dates and decided not sleep with them (which was their goal). From your perspective no, because it wasn't on the table in a casual dating situation. If they feel like you wronged them (strung them along), then they probably didn't believe or respect your stated boundary of no sex outside of a relationship. They wanted to be irresistible to you, and they weren't, so they're a bit miffed. Those same men might have been turned off i…
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/23 06:46 PM
4

It means you didn't sleep with them lol
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/23 06:18 PM
2

I put myself in there and it said there are fewer than 5,000 women in the US with my specs. Seems odd.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/23 03:37 PM
14

Why argue? Men can do whatever they want. And so can we. No one has to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want the same things. That's what vetting is for.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/23 02:55 PM
10

Put all the stuff that goes in the cooler in the same bags together so they can just be put straight into the cooler without needing additional sorting. A cooler honestly seems like overkill anyway unless it’s very hot. Then you should be putting the groceries away if you need them put away so specifically. That is really a lot to ask of someone else. You’re right, this sounds like a nightmare. Can you cut down on some grocery shopping by ordering things to be delivered instead?
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/23 12:05 AM
1

🥳🥳🥳
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 11:45 PM
4

I thought it was very inaccurate, then I realized that I think guys who are 5’8” are tall, so I don’t know anymore lol
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 11:42 PM
2

Well shucks lol thank you! 🫶
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 08:10 PM
8

Call it “Two if by Sea”
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 07:18 PM
5

Well you say reminding him makes him feel infantalized. Has he actually said this to you? If so, I would start by doing what he has said, so not reminding him, even if it means he forgets something. There will probably be an adjustment period (the consequences of his actions), but if he is captain material he will figure it out. In the spirit of bringing him the problem and not the solution, you could say something like “I don’t know what to do to support you without feeling like I have to jump …
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 05:11 PM
9

You aren’t helping him by shielding him from the consequences of his own actions. He needs to learn to manage his condition.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 03:45 PM
23

I think he’s being straight up. It’s good to be aware of stuff like this so you can both address it head on and not live in denial of these latent inclinations that pretty much all men have. It’s one thing to have a want or desire, and another thing to go act on it. I think he is incorrect that sex will inevitably get boring, but desire for variety/escape will always be there to some degree. It’s up to you and him to provide for that desire in ways that honor your relationship. What you can do i…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 01:23 PM
1

You start with a raw chicken. Simmering for a couple hours cooks it and makes the broth.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 10:35 AM
9

It would address the things in paragraph 6 where she says she has to make the decisions, he’s relying on her for validation and she doesn’t trust his decisions.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 10:29 AM
5

Read Laura Doyle’s books/website
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 03:41 AM
2

This is so true, also telling him you’re proud of him when he accomplishes something. I just had this realization recently from talking to my dad about a sports tournament his team won, and I was like “I think he wants to hear that I’m proud of him for this,” which seems obvious but I guess I was oblivious before lol. I would say “that’s great,” or “good job!” but not “I’m proud of you for winning!” Telling all the men in your life that you appreciate them and you’re proud of their achievements …
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 11:20 PM
1

I actually had strep last month 😣 mostly ate rice in chicken broth while my throat hurt, felt too bad to go out and get ingredients for a proper soup.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 11:03 PM
2

My favorite chicken soup is take a whole chicken, put it in a pot, cover with cold water by a couple inches, chop up a whole head of celery, including the leaves, put that in, add some garlic cloves, simmer for a couple hours. Then make some buttered rice, ladle some soup over it, squeeze some lemon, add salt and pepper to taste (you can add quite a bit of salt here!), and enjoy!!!! 🥣
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 10:18 PM
7

In my opinion it’s too controlling to expect people to have no contact with their exes. But him liking all her posts, and really just spending so much time on social media anyway would be unattractive to me, because I think it’s a dumb way to spend one’s time. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 03:07 PM
2

Perhaps fate intervened to keep these star-crossed lovers apart! lol Seriously though, there is no wrong way to handle this. It’s fine to wait around for a little while to see what happens. Lots of women wouldn’t wait and that fine for them too. We have different temperaments and they are going to be attractive to different types of men. If he is inspiring this desire to wait for him, that is a good sign of attraction on your part, but he ideally would show beta tendencies, as in showing respons…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 02:57 PM
10

It’s fine to give him the benefit of the doubt and wait for him, but sometimes timing just isn’t right and things don’t work out, even when you would be a good match. That’s probably what I would do in you situation, but I have the tendency to get attached too soon and overlook red flags early on, so if you are like that too just be aware of what you are doing. You don’t have to go looking for someone else right now, but remember you’re not in a relationship and you have met this man once. You d…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/23 02:26 PM
3

Yes, I agree with that part! If he can’t commit to anything, what good is him committing to you really? But him showing commitment in other areas, while it is a good indication of his character, doesn’t automatically mean he will commit to you.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/23 07:08 PM
3

I think Incremental Reciprocation is how you gauge if he will be committed to you, more than observing how committed he is to other non-relationship things in his life. Feels like it's a false equivalence, but I could be wrong!
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/23 06:58 PM
1

Awwww!!! I'm dying of cuteness here!
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/23 06:42 PM
9

For example, a serial cheater and/or a man that is non-committal is not worth being with. I think you can just stop here, I don't know what it has to do with being "single-focused." You should take the man as he is. If he's non-commital and you want commitment, he is not the one. ETA: I don't think you can take his commitment towards other things as an indication of how he will be towards you/a romantic interest. He's vetting someone to fit into his life BEFORE making that commitment. It certain…
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/23 06:38 PM
1

Yeah, I imagine the gear shifting with kids to be a big challenge. I don't find it a problem with just work, but I specifically chose a job that doesn't stress me out or is like, all consuming.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/23 03:02 PM
2

I have seen many woman say that they were more able to orgasm from PIV sex after around 40, like something seemed to change. Obviously not something that happens to everyone, but it's definitely something I've seen reported a number of times.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/23 02:58 PM
1

ok this all makes way more sense now. And it’s just sad.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/23 01:39 PM
3

oh no lol why do people do this?
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/23 01:24 PM
4

But she’s young and selective that’s all that matters!!!!!
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/23 01:13 PM
6

Sure your goal is marriage and family, but what man wants that with you?
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/23 12:47 PM
9

RPW argues that attraction is important on both sides for healthy marriages. If “she” is so valuable and selective, why wouldn’t she prioritize men that she’s actually attracted to?
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/23 12:34 PM
22

Because she’s attracted to him and wants an opportunity to get to know him better in a low stakes situation.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/23 12:00 PM
6

Getting directions throughout the day of certain things to do, or teasing, some sexually charged communication. Playing with your nipples or edging a bit throughout the day. Makes things go way smoother when you’re finally together, I have found. Looking good doesn’t really make me feel sexy as much as like, thinking about sex does lol, I guess. In my last relationship I started a bed time routine to be ready if he wanted to get down, it’s a bit more involved than I’d want to discuss publicly lo…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/23 03:56 PM
7

You can go have a photo shoot without joining a beauty competition if you think it’s trashy. This is so weird lol
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/23 06:43 PM
9

I mean, it’s vague but it’s an answer. He wants to get married when he has a stable income. Who knows how long that could be? Do you like him enough to stick with him while he builds up? Also, lots of people will think that a year is not enough time to know a person to get engaged. He may be one of them. He may know that he wants to marry you now, but for any number of reasons, may not think it’s been long enough to propose.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/23 06:40 PM
16

I just want to point out that this kind of miscommunication can be very detrimental to a relationship so it’s something to keep an eye on. He gave you an answer, but it wasn’t the answer you wanted to hear so in your mind you don’t have an answer yet. If you keep going back to him and asking “when?” he’s going to think “I told her and she doesn’t listen to me!” and that will probably feel like disrespect to him, and make him less inclined to give you the answer you want. Just something to keep i…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/23 06:22 PM
15

Relationship Market Value. It’s what makes a man want to commit to you once you clear the bar of sexual attraction. Hooking up is about looks, staying in a relationship is about RMV. What do you offer besides your looks? Lots of guys say that RMV can add a couple points, so you could hypothetically retain the guy two points above you if you bring enough other stuff to the table.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/23 03:53 AM
2

What about your RMV?
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/23 03:20 AM
8

Besides what everyone else has said, he’s handing over the decision to you, so whether it “works” or not, it’s going to be your fault. He’s not even taking responsibility for making his own choice in this or his “success and motivation,” whatever that means exactly. He’s not being a leader.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/23 10:17 PM
1

According to Bumble: Once you hit your daily swipe limit, you will have to wait 24 hours for your swipes to reset (e.g. if you hit the limit at 8 pm your swipes will refresh at 8 pm the next day). If you would like to continue swiping, you can get unlimited votes with a Bumble Boost or Bumble Premium subscription
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/23 02:18 PM
5

She would probably love to spend time with them!
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/23 11:14 AM
1

Wow thank you!!! 🥳
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/23 08:17 PM
2

Also no appreciation for the bell curve, people don't all respond the same way, they respond across a spectrum of identifiable responses. Also, no appreciation for the "grass is always greener" concept, where most people are going to wonder if the other path was the better one, no matter which they chose.
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/23 05:54 PM
2

No one is criticizing men who want to be Ghenghis Khan. But they aren't compatible with our goals, and we don't find men who are aligned with our goals to be emasculated, contrary to your arguments.
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/23 05:01 PM
3

I think it comes from an assumption that men are like women, when they aren't in this way. We want ment to be open and vulnerable to an extent, but if it seems like they aren't in control, that is scary and can harm the relationship. It's coming from a place of women not understanding how their attraction works, and thinking that men should act like women, basically solipsism.
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/23 04:08 PM
1

I'm not sure about Bumble, but I think you can usually pay to avoid any penalties.
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/23 01:43 PM
1

He's probably wondering the same thing considering you didn't get in touch with him until you moved away...
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/23 01:42 PM
4

Exercise always makes me feel better and then I’ll be interested in things again.
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/23 09:18 PM
3

Most guys (guys I have seen give an opinion about this) aren’t against tattooing as a concept, it’s the figural tattoos that most people get that they don’t like. I’ve only heard guys say they’re against tattooing for permanent makeup if they have a religious objection or they don’t like their women wearing makeup in general.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/23 06:26 PM
2

I will try to answer this. Most girls will not respond well to their man suggesting more makeup or that they do their makeup differently. You need to be very careful because it will most likely come off as a criticism of her. How would you feel if your girlfriend suggested calf implants to you? It’s inherently a criticism of how you are naturally. You need to build a strong base of trust and then respond positively to things she does that you like. Then you could start offering to pay for her be…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/23 03:46 PM
3

Meditation can help a lot if you feel like it’s difficult to keep your cool in stressful situations.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/23 03:20 PM
-1

No one is taking away anything from women, what are you talking about? You brought it up and I responded because it’s not true. Your whole post is anti-male, which is not supported by this sub, and the one point I called out is feminist anti-male propaganda (also not supported by this sub) and is blatantly untrue. If you cared about what is actually true, what actually happens in the real world you would know this, but you seem more concerned with reinforcing your victim mentality. Just because …
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/23 11:49 AM
0

Men are the ones who face more violence than women. It’s been proven in studies, but women don’t like to hear it because it threatens their victim complex.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/23 01:56 AM
8

Omg this resonates so much! When I broke up with my ex one of the things I said is I wanted to be with someone who took care of me, not someone who always relied on me taking care of him all the time, and he could only think that I was talking about money, and that’s not what I was thinking about at all. Like I was literally thinking about how he had a meltdown about not being able to figure out how to renew his license online without me standing right there with him and telling him where to cli…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/23 12:40 AM
7

I think what this shows isn’t that marriage is emasculating, but being, or even being perceived as being pussywhipped is emasculating, and I think we can all agree with that.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/23 11:09 PM
1

Right like we live in a state of unnatural abundance so our biological urges that say “do this thing as much as you can!” are not necessarily to be relied on as the best course of action to ensure our long term health and happiness.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/23 10:44 PM
3

I so much prefer permenent/semi-perment stuff to having to do a whole routine every day.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/23 09:23 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter