~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | Running on emptyI had an actual good piece of advice recently. Grief is not a bad thing. Everyone usually grieves something. Grief is just love plus time. And if you never have grieved anything, you have never loved hard enough. Sure, it would be nice to share that with someone and especially the person you promised to do the same for. But she is only your wife on paper now. There is no wife anymore. Her trying is to make her not feel so uncomfortable and to help her deal with the loss as well. Just realize, if… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/08/26 08:34 PM |
| 2 | First Time Post-Divorce Getting DumpedThe first one I picked, we tried. It just wasn't there between us. Physically it was there. But emotionally, it never was anything. I ended up breaking it off. It was still tough because she did want me but I started it way before I was ready to. I knew it, but I tried anyway. Just know that eventually the right one will come along. Hell, my father is 76 and just got a live in girlfriend. If he got game, then I figured I could too. Lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/08/26 11:30 AM |
| 1 | HelpIt is quite addicting. Who I found has had issues as well that would keep someone away. But we listened to each other and decided it was something we could work on together. And we knew the best way is to take it slow and that's what we are doing. But that first kiss after spending years being told that you are worthless, never being shown affection, constantly criticising everything... All that washed away because you realize it isn't true. This woman desires me. And that's all that matters. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/08/26 11:25 AM |
| 1 | What did you do today?I have. I was actually seeing another woman but it never got past anything but physical. Emotionally it wasn't there. I broke it off and went on the dating apps. We talked about what we expect and agreed that if there is a problem, we will deal with it together. We both had traumatic pasts and we were open and upfront about them. Basically we both said that we don't want a marriage ever again. She doesn't want kids but is eager to meet mine. She agreed that she doesn't want to come between my ki… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/26 10:41 AM |
| 2 | What did you do today?Oh I am. We talked a lot and we had a dinner date yesterday. It went very well. We talked about our pasts and how we got to where we are. We talked about what we expect out of a relationship. Neither of us want kids or to get married again. We both just want a companion through life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/26 10:21 AM |
| 5 | HelpI wasn't 100 at first. I was 95% but not 100. I had been with her for 20 years. Each time she cheated, I told myself, this may be better since she got it out of her system. It never was. Even when I filed, that kept coming up as well as looking at all the years and memories I'm throwing away... Is it worth it? Should I just stay? It's been 11 months. Divorced since April. It absolutely does get better. Started talking to this woman and we both hit it off very well. Excited to talk to each other … | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/26 04:44 PM |
| 2 | What did you do today?I sent a good morning message to a woman that I've been texting for the last 3 days. We talked over text the first day and the second day we ended the night with a 3-hour long phone call. Amazingly our values and our beliefs align in many ways and I feel like I found a great woman to spend time with. After our phone call last night My kids said that I looked the happiest that I've ever been in the last year. So amazingly I'm in a place now where I never thought I would be a year ago | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/26 12:08 PM |
| 2 | Girl with a question about kids from experienced divorcee’s or married menI can only relate based off of my history. So here goes. I never wanted kids. Also was on the mindset of if it happens it happens. I had a bad history with my family and past and didn't want to bring a kid into this world and into that life. I couldn't have been more wrong. That first one changed me. I instantly felt like I had some importance and the need to protect this life we had created. We decided to have more. Those were led by IVF, miscarriages, etc... each one was very taxing. Sex start… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/26 07:00 PM |
| 3 | How much alimony do you have to pay and child support?I don't. I actually get Chile support since she all but abandoned the kids and I. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/26 07:14 PM |
| 0 | The hypocrisy of reddit when a woman cheats is borderline hilariousThat guy is a dick but still wrong to cheat. Not using a vibrator on your wife when she requests it is like working on your car without any tools. It just doesn't get the job done... | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/07/26 02:43 PM |
| 6 | The hypocrisy of reddit when a woman cheats is borderline hilariousThe way they rationalize things sometimes is just insane to me. Mine tried to tell me that because he couldn't keep it up that it didn't really count. Like seriously if it went in once it's still cheating. If you got naked with this guy it's still cheating. If you even kiss this guy it's still cheating. And now she picked a guy that she thought was an absolute winner and chose him to cheat with. Well both of their hours got cut, they don't make enough money to make ends meet. This guy had nothin… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/07/26 02:27 PM |
| 6 | Be HopefulAsking the important questions here... Lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/07/26 12:56 PM |
| 0 | What to do with her ring?I saved mine and was planning to toss it in the river. Ended up losing it and didn't even care | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/26 01:39 PM |
| 3 | Cameras/security?If you have any spare phones laying around, use an app called "AlfredCam". Turns your cell phones into a security camera network. Subscription costs $80 per year. Cheapest option I've found. It has recording and you can view it from anywhere. I have one set up and used it to call ch her bad mouthing me.to the kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/26 02:33 PM |
| 4 | Wife’s boss and moving forwardIt will. Anyone that does a search for her name could find it. My ex got busted for shoplifting and anytime you did a search for my last name, her mugshot was first. Always made me chuckle a bit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/26 01:21 PM |
| 4 | Wife’s boss and moving forwardNot saying you have to bad mouth her. Arrest records are available to the public and also usually published to the public weekly. I just keep the saying "keep your enemies closer" as true as can be. But I'm also a very protective and shielded person. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/26 01:17 PM |
| 9 | Wife’s boss and moving forwardI'd accept it and just ask what's up. If it is her, you got her. If it is him, you can always remove him if he is being used by her. I always say walk carefully but safely. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/26 12:58 PM |
| 2 | Won my hearing, I don't care.If you want to feel something, go to one of those "rage rooms". Just go in there and for a price, you can destroy everything in that room. Destroy things that don't matter. Because you matter. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/26 11:07 AM |
| 3 | It is so hard to be the asshole...That's the only issue. I'm just now learning about how complex human emotions can be and how they can be trained over years and years. I spent over half my life with her and it's hard to just imagine a year turning that all off. I get that it takes time it is on myself and my kids and my future and their future. But it's strange how your mind wants to pull you back to that way you used to be. It's just an ongoing battle but thankfully the new me is winning. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 02:03 PM |
| 10 | It is so hard to be the asshole...That's the thing thing about it. I'm not sure what bothered me more telling her no or telling her that I'm no longer her provider or protector anymore. Both of those things were equally hard to say. But now that I've had a night to sleep on it I'm actually pretty happy about what I did and the choice I've made. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 01:55 PM |
| 3 | It is so hard to be the asshole...I actually agree completely. I see it as enabling and that's why I decided to put my foot down and say no. Been watching a lot of financial things trying to get my end of things straightened out. My thought was let me see what she spends all of her money on and see where I can help that way as opposed to giving her money over and over again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 01:54 PM |
| 3 | It is so hard to be the asshole...I don't mind at all. She up and moved about a thousand miles away. I caught her cheating. I filed the next day. The lawyer I had said that I could file and get full custody because the court would see it as abandonment of the children. Also due to the length of time we were married I would also be eligible for alimony but I turned it down. Her family and I are very close. Well at least some of them. Just like any divorce there are going to be sides taken and I came to expect that. But I still ha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 12:39 PM |
| 3 | It is so hard to be the asshole...To be honest I never looked at it that way. I think part of it is that I'm still used to looking forward to the fallout that I get from ever telling her no. But it does kind of feel good to be able to say that and know I don't have to expect it anymore. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 12:36 PM |
| 3 | It is so hard to be the asshole...Those boundaries are there for sure. I decided almost a year ago that myself and the kids will never be set last in my life to anyone again. It's just a weird feeling and I have never been able to say no to her and stick to it. But I am now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 10:15 AM |
| 4 | It is so hard to be the asshole...I get it. It's just weird how I feel like one because that desire to jump and help people, not just her, is ingrained in the type of person I am. I genuinely feel like an asshole even though I knew it was the right choice to make | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 10:11 AM |
| 3 | It is so hard to be the asshole...So you are saying I still have about 924 more nos to give... Lol It wasn't easy but I doubt she comes to me again for anything. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 10:09 AM |
| 7 | It is so hard to be the asshole...I appreciate it. Her family has told me that it's gonna have to be when she hits rock bottom before she learns and she hasn't made it there yet. I more mean how difficult it is to set aside those feelings that you had for years. It started that internal battle.that I thought I was fully over. It's weird how much I'm over her but that desire to rescue is still there. It's not gonna work, I stuck by my decision and she has to as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 10:07 AM |
| 4 | It is so hard to be the asshole...Oh I got a female lawyer and she said I could basically have anything I wanted. I could have gotten alimony as well, but I turned it down. She was ready to head hunt but I held her back. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 02:38 AM |
| 9 | It is so hard to be the asshole...Exactly. Part of me wants to help. It's been ingrained in me after 20 years of marriage. But she said that her and her new boyfriend had their work hours cut down, so they barely have food and all. And the other part of me is just sitting back and watching the shit show go on and enjoying that I am no longer a part of it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 02:37 AM |
| 8 | It is so hard to be the asshole...Sheesh, mine only asked for $50. I'm surprised any ex would have the guts to ask that much | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 01:44 AM |
| 2 | It is so hard to be the asshole...LOL. Don't we all. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 12:51 AM |
| 6 | It is so hard to be the asshole...Yeah, that's the issue. She had years of practice on me and knows how to get to me. But I stood my ground and made it through. It just isn't the type of person I am. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 12:50 AM |
| 8 | It is so hard to be the asshole...I don't make the payments, she does. I'm one of the "divorce unicorn" you could say. I have full custody. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 12:49 AM |
| 3 | I’m bitter, angry, and want people to agree that I was treated badly.Great advice till the Bible part. That should be changed to something like "look more into the religion of your choice". Also, I will never forgive my ex. It's impossible. After what she did to my kids, I can't. So telling people to learn how to is almost as insensitive as most of our ex's are | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/07/26 02:22 PM |
| 5 | Bad nightI used to feel like that. But every day I learn something new that keeps me from regretting. I had a family member the other day tell me that she told everyone that I took the money for bills out and spent it on myself every month. Funny, cause my bills are paid and hers... Well, let's just say I haven't needed to ask for money from anyone. Do i have my days? Sure. But they are mostly full of hate. I hate her for what she did to my kids and I hate myself for allowing her to do that to me. 20 yea… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/26 07:17 PM |
| 5 | Anyone Feel Loneliness Even with a Solid FWB?Yeah, I have someone as well like that, but it's just not the same as having that connection to someone. That spark. That love. That feeling like you would do anything for them and they would for you. But, I also look back on all that I had to give up to feel that. Then I stop missing it so much. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/26 12:01 AM |
| 2 | Need some opinions...Yeah, that's probably best. It's not out of anger or seeking revenge. Just to be clear. It's just been weighing on me because it could ruin things, but I know that I want someone to tell me after being in that position multiple times with my ex. I got a lot of good advice here though | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/06/26 02:11 AM |
| 2 | Need some opinions...Yeah, it doesn't affect me and I am hoping when I go she is off work so I don't have to face her. I've removed them both from my Facebook once the divorce was done. I've done my best to avoid them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/06/26 01:37 AM |
| 1 | Need some opinions...That's it. They seem happy now and I'd hate to ruin it with something nearly a decade ago. But it's also a big part of the divorce too | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/06/26 01:17 AM |
| 2 | Need some opinions...And that's the issue I'm in. I'm not out for revenge. And it's been a long time. But part of me also feels like if someone was doing that to my spouse, I'd want to know. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/06/26 01:04 AM |
| 1 | Seeking advice from divorced menAdd religion. That was a big sticking point. My ex was "religious" and I was not. I went to church for her, but never felt anything. This was always a point of contention | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/26 06:22 PM |
| 1 | Our first mealThat... Doesn't happen. I have full custody. Worst I get is that some of them sleep over at grammas. But they are all supposed to go on a trip with their mom soon and I'm not sure how that will go over. It's a wait and see game I guess. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/26 12:24 PM |
| 2 | Our first mealIt wasn't easy. But we got through it and we ended up having a lot of fun. Pain is temporary, but happy memories last a lifetime. Best of luck! | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/26 05:24 AM |
| 3 | Our first mealThe worst is I got the house. We bought this together. Struggled but got it. Now, it's just me. Sure the kids are here too, but this was supposed to be what WE built together. But... No. Some days it is hard to walk in here. Others, I'm proud it's mine and I'm getting ahead slowly. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/26 03:02 AM |
| 7 | Our first mealIn an attempt to try to make new memories of old things, I took my kids on a weekend vacation. To the same place my ex and I celebrated our honeymoon. It didn't look like it would affect me, but then we walked by where we stayed. I looked up and it was almost like I could see us from back then again. It was very tough. But now, I have better memories. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/26 02:32 AM |
| 0 | What can a dad do with a 14 year old daughter that knows it allMy ex was the cool mom. I was the one that always went toe to toe with my oldest. Now my ex up and moved over 1k miles away and basically ghosted them overnight. Now that she is gone, my oldest and I have been so much closer. A few hints that I would suggest. Get the life360 app for both of you. Yes, even you. I told my oldest that went to a major city for college that I wanted it on her phone so that I knew she was back at her dorm and safe. I don't care what you do, but it was a piece of mind … | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/26 09:10 PM |
| 2 | Father’s Day….I guess the biggest issue is for the longest time even before the divorce I wasn't really sure who I was anymore. I prioritize the marriage over everything trying to keep things going. Now that it's all over I'm trying to figure out who I need to be. Some days I feel I have a grasp on it other days I still don't know. But I'm getting there it's just got to take time | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/26 02:47 PM |
| 4 | Father’s Day….Yeah, it could have been a lot worse words, and part of me would rather it have been. The whole time we were together, I never heard any praise from her. Now that she has left, and with her AP, she's told me that I am an amazing man, wonderful father, best person to have kids with... Etc.... I hear those things and it hurts because I just wonder why those things weren't good enough to be happy and not want you to stray. It's coming up on a year and I just have to learn to let it go. But it's so … | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/26 02:36 PM |
| 6 | Father’s Day….Mine proceeded to apologize for everything and said she couldn't have picked a better guy to have kids with. All while her profile picture that comes up is of her and another man. Wtf is up with women today... | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/26 10:38 AM |
| 3 | [ looking for advice] She left most of her stuff at my houseI contacted both her parents. Both said they didn't have room or desire to store it. One offered to get a storage unit and move it all in there. So that's what we did. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/26 10:34 AM |
| 5 | Anybody else tired of hearing empty platitudes?It's something people say when they have nothing else to say and don't want to sit there listening and looking like a moron. People, by nature, feel like when someone is talking, that they have to respond. To some, it just feels unbearably uncomfortable to just not speak something. I've learned that just listening, not speaking unless asked something or until the pause is long enough to give me time to actually contribute something meaningful to the conversation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/06/26 01:53 AM |
| 8 | Can't do this anymoreDon't give up. Don't let her win this battle. Survive. It will be tough, but nothing in life worth having is going to be easy. You will find peace. My favorite song lyrics keeps me going daily. Limp Bizkit - "I'd love to be the one to disappoint you when I don't fall down." And on rough days... Three Days Grace - "Everyday I'm just surviving, keep climbing the mountain" She won this battle, don't give up and let her win the war. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/06/26 01:41 AM |
| -2 | If somebody's wife hit on you, would you hook up with them?Would I sleep with one that's married? Nope. Not at all. Been through that and wouldn't want another to feel like I do. Worst I've done is called it as I saw it. I had a woman try to hook me up with her sister. I thought she was single and that's why. Turns out she has had a boyfriend for three years. When I asked why she tried to hook us up, she said that her sister thinks he is an asshole. When I asked why, she started explaining that he isn't physically abusive, but he is mentally at times. S… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/06/26 01:30 AM |
| 2 | Joined the club Wednesday. Well at least we’re starting the process.We got the Life360 app for our family. She forgot and spent the night with a guy at his house. I caught her in lie after lie till I caught the truth. But that was the most recent time. First time, I was in school for cyber security and ethical hacking. I was able to get proof while she typed it. Should have known to end it the first time. Oh well. Luck? Nah, but you have to be able to think like a cheater to catch one | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/26 11:22 PM |
| 1 | Ex is pregnant with another man’s childWhy not be a dick to someone that's coming and seeking help. Maybe it's a new account because he is using a throwaway. Judge not lest ye be judged yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/26 12:05 AM |
| 5 | Happy Fathers DayIt was so far. Got to have lunch with my ex's dad and my own dad and my kids. Had a blast and it's only getting better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/06/26 06:58 PM |
| 1 | A song lyric really hit home for meI'll have to check them out. Thanks! | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/06/26 01:24 PM |
| 1 | A song lyric really hit home for meIt's a local band called Buzz Poets Song is called Facedown. It's about the struggle with infidelity and the struggle within. Or at least that's what I got from it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/06/26 01:57 AM |
| 1 | Worrisome Custody Issue…Don't have any advice, but my cheating ex moved to the Jacksonville area. Be careful you don't run into her. Especially since she cheated with someone in the navy... | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/26 11:17 PM |
| 1 | Child supportI'm just going by the common issue. You never mentioned in your post you pay it on time. As someone that has 100% custody and no payments, this is what I am used to. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/26 11:10 AM |
| 0 | Child supportYeah, I'm currently in that struggle. I haven't received a cent in the 11 months since she left. She told the kids that support started coming out of her check. It's been almost 3 months since it was finalized and I'm just now starting to get it taken out? I've worked hard and made it so far without her payments but dammit if it has not been a struggle. If you are ordered to pay, you should pay from the start. That shit catches up to you really quick | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/26 11:05 AM |
| 4 | Any men here deal with suicidal ideation? How did you get through it?I had a bad car accident and was hospitalized for two weeks. I spent the first week very angry. I made up some reason why, but part of me was angry about one thing. I was still here. I talked to the therapist in the hospital but never told her that. I said I missed my kids, which I did, and that was why. She arranged for me to be transported to the waiting area so I could see them. It was only 15 minutes, but it was all it took. I was gonna push forward and live for them. Just like the song from… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/26 02:31 AM |
| 1 | After losing my marriage and then losing the person who helped me survive it, I don’t know who I am anymoreAnd seeing that is the first step. I'm in the same boat for the most part. I jumped into somewhat of a relationship afterwards. I can't say that I love her, but she was truly the only person that would ask how I was doing, would listen. I clung to that but I've started to step back a bit. I needed to figure out how to fix myself and my feelings. I needed to make peace with how things are now. I needed to learn to let go. You can't truly do that if you have any hate or love for your ex wife first… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/26 01:26 AM |
| 6 | After losing my marriage and then losing the person who helped me survive it, I don’t know who I am anymoreShe was honestly a bandaid to fix the problems in your marriage. Then you elevated it from affair partner to something more. You started building a new life with her But I have one question. When did you fix yourself in this process? You focused on fixing everything that you thought would make you happy, but never took time to fully grieve the first loss and figure out who you are. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/26 01:00 AM |
| 5 | Men in long term marriages, what holds you back to leave your wife?I have been. Helps that I didn't get screwed in the divorce. I got the better end. But it's still not the same some days. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/26 10:33 AM |
| 14 | Men in long term marriages, what holds you back to leave your wife?I never wanted to leave. I chose to be with her and vowed to stay. Every time.she cheated and made me feel like it was my fault or something that drove her to it. Every time I came home from work and I didn't go mow the grass that day. Or spend enough time with the kids. Or cook dinner. Or whatever else it was. For the last 3 years, I really was lost. I didn't speak. Did what needed done. Whatever to keep the peace while still getting nagged and destroyed inside. 2 years ago, I finally opened up… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/06/26 08:25 PM |
| 9 | STBX Being Suspicious. Am I Crazy?Man, this is a classic replay of what I went through. Caught my wife cheating. She blew up on me and I kicked her out of the house. After a bit, she came back and we worked it out. Year or so goes by and I catch her sending nudes to a guy. She said it was an "accident" and she was glad I caught it so she could delete it. Bull shit. She up and moved. Took a job in a city where she could live near an old crush she had in high school. She said she ended up with him off and on. He denied it. Then I … | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/26 05:28 PM |
| -1 | Had a nice little surprise yesterdayNope. Don't have money, but that's cause I have full custody and no help and no support payments yet. Look like that? I mean, yeah, but I am working on it. I literally work, take care of kids and show up. It means something I guess. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/26 05:18 PM |
| 6 | Had a nice little surprise yesterdayYeah, she and I had a rocky relationship. I always figured she was but tried to ignore it. We broke up. A year or so goes by and I ran into her. We had a momentary fling and went about our lives. Then last I had heard she was with a woman years ago. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:35 PM |
| 7 | Had a nice little surprise yesterdaySo, that's when my brain over analyzes everything. They are in their 20s... Must be daddy issues. They are in their 30s... Must be looking for a new daddy for their kids They are in their 40s... Must be toxic and desperate if they are going after me They are in their 50s... Must be a cougar phase... I'm learning how to shut that shit down and just have fun with it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 01:03 PM |
| 2 | Had a nice little surprise yesterdayExactly! And the thing that kills me is the one, even though she is a bit on the thicker side, man she looks about 10 times hotter than my ex. I never once could have imagined landing her ever. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 12:46 PM |
| 3 | Had a nice little surprise yesterdayIt will be rocky. But realize that this is life now and don't let that past life interrupt the potential for happiness again. That's what I struggle with. Not that I still love my ex. I don't. It's more accepting the newness and feeling of dating again. In one hand it just sounds exhausting. But I also miss that companionship. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 02:19 AM |
| 4 | Had a nice little surprise yesterdayHey, I'd be happy for just one. But it is nice. I've had a good bit of interest from a good bit of women. It's been surprising. My thing is, I wanna be in the right mind before I get back out there. But I also don't want to miss my chance if a good one does come along. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 01:58 AM |
| 3 | Had a nice little surprise yesterdayI'm not in good shape at all. It's funny cause a coworker and I always joked about "who would want a fat old guy like us?" Well, surprisingly, a lot of women! | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 01:55 AM |
| 6 | Had a nice little surprise yesterdayEven if nothing comes out of it, it is a nice feeling to just be told you're a good guy by someone that isn't family or friends | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 12:25 AM |
| 5 | Had a nice little surprise yesterdayOh I plan on it. But I'm still very cautious at this point. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/06/26 10:41 PM |
| 3 | Had a nice little surprise yesterdayI dunno... Don't think I could handle one of them let alone all three. Lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/06/26 09:59 PM |
| 6 | Had a nice little surprise yesterdayYeah, I can't believe it myself. But now, after what I've been thru, I instantly wonder what's wrong with them all since it seems that easy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/06/26 09:59 PM |
| 6 | Wife Says She Doesn’t Know If She Wants the Marriage, Says Nothing Has Changed After a Month. How Long Do I Wait?After 19 years, I heard the same thing. It hurt, but I took a couple days and finally said ok, I agree. We should split. She immediately hugged me and begged me to stay. Said she didn't really want that but it was a test to see if I loved her So I stayed. A year later, I'm divorced and she ran off with another man before it was finalized. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/06/26 08:43 PM |
| 1 | What is the occupation of your STBXW or Ex-Wife?Yeah, and as attractive as they are, I've sworn off medical professionals for dating. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 04:01 PM |
| 6 | Good experience with female lawyers?I used one. My divorce didn't really require much fight, but I liked her from the start. I told her what was going on, she listened and once I was done she said... "Wow. What a bitch. So, you can pretty much ask for anything and you can have it." Hired her instantly. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 01:16 AM |
| 9 | Why Re-marry after Divorce?She would have to have a lot to bring to the table. Like a million dollars and a super high libido. Joking aside, I'm never marrying again. I hate that this happened because it has totally wrecked my daughters idea of a future. She wanted to settle down and have kids of her own, but now she's hesitant that she even wants that now. I told her there is nothing wrong with waiting, but I feel like that's a lot of influence on her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/06/26 02:30 AM |
| 1 | Did your (ex)wife’s friends lead her towards divorce?Essentially, her friend told me she was staying at her house. Then she drove her to the guys house and when she didn't show up when she said she would I called her friend. She told me to go pick her up at the guys house. After that, I told her she was to no longer associate with this friend. And if I was to run into her, I would shower her with many praises. Not really, but I cant say what I said I would do. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/06/26 01:18 AM |
| 1 | Did your (ex)wife’s friends lead her towards divorce?And I get a warning for repeating what I said 15 years ago to my ex's friend. Jeez reddit is sensitive tonight | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/06/26 01:06 AM |
| 1 | Did your (ex)wife’s friends lead her towards divorce?Oh I told her if we were to try to stay together, she was out of the picture. If I ever saw her again, woman or not, I'd beat the hell out of her. She took my ex to this guy's house and then had the nerve to call me and say to pick her up at this guy's house in a few hours. Fuck man, my life is worse than those reality shows sometimes | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/06/26 01:00 AM |
| 2 | Did your (ex)wife’s friends lead her towards divorce?They helped her cheat the first time. Her one friend still doesn't think she did anything wrong. Another friend she was sending nudes to while we were married and he was engaged. It's been 13 years and she still doesn't know. I've often thought about telling her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/06/26 12:26 AM |
| 1 | Just a little annoyance...Oh I get it. I figured it wouldn't be a smooth ride, but damn, it's getting out of hand. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/26 12:51 PM |
| 3 | How to get over attraction for your exSee, we both let ourselves go a bit. We weren't skinny from the start, but I always loved that about her. That's what attracted me to her. Then, years later, she got the bariatric surgery and everything had to change. And now, I just don't see her the same. Attraction is gone. She almost looks too thin. And I had to keep hearing about how fat she is and she would always say "fat is ugly" and it's not like I'm sitting here. And she wasn't fat anymore. She had the loose skin but I learned to live … | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/26 12:50 PM |
| 2 | How to get over attraction for your exI am now too. But sometimes I worry because she has a lot more energy than I had for years. But I'm keeping up so far. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/26 12:46 PM |
| 3 | How to get over attraction for your exI agree 100%. I was so angry with her for that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/26 12:46 PM |
| 2 | Just a little annoyance...They have already filed an additional withholding since she is more than a month behind. I told the woman at the office that I get an additional amount on the NOTHING I am getting now. Perfect. Sometimes you just have to wonder how people get these jobs... | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/26 02:27 AM |
| 1 | Just a little annoyance...Very well spoken. It's not gotten to the point where I can't make ends meet, but it has been difficult at times. I planned on going back to their office next week and see if there is anything they can do to expedite it. She did say it is harder because they have to involve the other states child support enforcement department as well. My thought was "oh great, two government offices of incompetence...' | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/26 02:25 AM |
| 8 | How to get over attraction for your exMy ex told our daughter, in detail, about how he is in bed, how loud, etc... We weren't even divorced yet. I think of how upset and disgusted my daughter was telling me about that. That's enough for me to lose any desire once had. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/26 09:27 PM |
| 2 | Just a little annoyance...Oh I told the office I didn't want her going to jail over child support. It's not that big a deal to do that. My concern was putting that money towards the kids future. I was also told that they can't enforce it without getting another department involved since it's a multi state situation. My states support department would have to go after her support department to enforce it. So many damn loopholes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/26 09:21 PM |
| 3 | Just a little annoyance...Oh I never considered action against the department. All I was ever told was "she should have been paying once the divorce was final. That's on her." I can't help but think, also it's your job to ensure it's collected and all that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/26 09:19 PM |
| 4 | Just a little annoyance...Yep, she does the same shit. But her family isn't nearly as supportive of her and that's another thing that was always against me. She literally told everyone she can't afford her car, her apartment, etc... used that as a reason to move in with AP. Yet here I am, knowing the truth, and being the better person by keeping my mouth shut. It really is a bitch trying to be the better person... | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/26 08:18 PM |
| 1 | Just a little annoyance...This is more true than you can imagine. I do contract work for a lot of government offices and the amount of stupidity is staggering | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/26 07:07 PM |
| 6 | Just a little annoyance...Yet the word "responsibility" never enters into it... | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/26 07:06 PM |
| 2 | Just a little annoyance...I try to be as nice and kind to everyone there. My father raised me to know that you treat anyone that controls your money with respect, because they can take it from you. I tell them I never had to do this and I am just trying to figure this out blah blah blah... Made them feel like they really are helping me. It's a game. I learned to play it. So, I doubt they hate me. And yeah, we have a male dominated workforce and we had a really petite but knockout beautiful redhead woman start with us a y… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/26 06:44 PM |
| 2 | Just a little annoyance...Yeah, it's starting to look that way! Lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/26 06:40 PM |
| 2 | Just a little annoyance...Yeah, it is getting to that point too. Child support caseworker said, "well she should have been paying this since the divorce, it says so in the paperwork she was sent.". Lady, she never even paid our bills when we were married, what's gonna make her start reading shit now? She also was supposed to sign paperwork regarding other things and guess what still hasn't been done... | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/26 06:23 PM |
| 3 | Just a little annoyance...Exactly. It just is infuriating how they would be all over me if I missed anything. But she was like "oh we sent it multiple times with no reply to her HR. I'll call and get someone so I can send it via email and let you know.". She did call and say she emailed someone. 2 weeks later ... Balance just keeps going up. She tells everyone she can't afford her bills because of child support. And I just sit here, patiently waiting and keeping my mouth shut | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/06/26 06:19 PM |
| 2 | What is the occupation of your STBXW or Ex-Wife?Nurse. Started cheating while I supported her thru nursing school. That ended and we patched things up. Or so I thought. I did most of her school work to help her get her BSN. She up and left to get us established halfway across the country. Ended up finding a guy down there after signing up for dating sites to "find friends". She since has moved in with the guy. She sent me a message with a picture that showed the top ten professions that have spouses that cheat and nurse was number one. She se… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/26 11:16 AM |
| 1 | Why is this so hard even though it's so obvious?It is, but I also have those same fears. Mostly, did I jump into this one too fast? I get in my own head about things. I've learned to let things go as they go. If you ever need to talk, I as well as many others are here. You are never alone in this. Best of luck to you my friend. I hope you have the peace and happiness you seek. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/26 02:43 AM |
| 2 | Why is this so hard even though it's so obvious?Ahhh so you got extremely lucky on the pregnancy front. I have four kids and only one of those was easy to have. I don't mean to come across as mean, but we all have to have hard truths told to us and it's better it comes from a Stranger sometimes. Have you ever opted for an open relationship with her? Or, if you are truly done, then there isn't much left to try. It will be painful. You built a life in your mind of what the rest of your life would be like and it didn't work to plan. Divorce trul… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/26 02:33 AM |
| 0 | Why is this so hard even though it's so obvious?So you don't have any intimacy and you have a 2 year old? Sorry, math didn't add up. Also, is there a chance she is experiencing post partum depression? Pregnancy really messes up a woman's hormones and can lead to intimacy issues as well. Not downing you, just playing devil's advocate. If you really fear life without her, then maybe try to fix the issues? I mean, I enjoy sex as much as the next person but I'm not gonna ignore the cause of the issue and run. Now, that that is out of the way, it'… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/26 02:19 AM |
| 6 | STBXW trying to take the whole house. Need advice.Get an attorney. Preferably a female one. She thinks that she can get everything cause she hired one and has the upper hand. Get one yourself and show her she doesn't. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/26 01:01 AM |
| 9 | When it’s OverWhen she moved over 1k miles away and got a new apartment, job and life. We talked. She begged me to come down. I couldn't. She left me with nothing and I was paying to climb out of the hole she left us in. Then I saw she spent the night away from home. A week later she came back to visit me and the kids. I picked her up at the airport and she gave me a quick side hug, no kiss, and said let's get going. We went home, had passionless sex and went on a family weekend. She spent the rest of the tim… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/26 01:54 AM |
| 6 | When it’s OverPlaying devil's advocate, maybe he's been doing that and got the same results over and over. Maybe staying on the couch and watching TV was the change in the norm? I know I got tired of trying cause I knew I was the only one that seemed to want it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/26 01:45 AM |
| 8 | Alimony, the cancerShe cheated. Multiple times. I could have had alimony. I turned it down. I got the kids, the house and child support. Alimony would have just kept me tied to her and I didn't want that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/26 02:04 AM |
| 4 | Wife having affair while we have 2 young kids. Trying to stay calm and protect 50/50 custody/assets. Advice from people who've been through this?I would run a credit check for free online and see if you are listed on any of the accounts she opened. My ex opened a bunch of cards and used them for trips and whatever she felt like buying. During the separation, she asked me to pay half. I told my lawyer my name isn't on any of the accounts and I didn't even have knowledge of them being opened until it was said and done and spent on. Guess who didn't have to pay for those cards. Not one cent. In your agreement, you can dictate rules that wil… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/26 07:30 PM |
| 5 | Did anyone else completely lose themselves after divorce?This. I went through that phase. I went 4 days without showering. I used to shower once and sometimes twice a day depending on activities for that day. I finally looked in the mirror in the bathroom after washing my hands and I felt like I didn't recognize that person. Now, I had felt like I never knew who I was anymore for ages. I was always one person at work, one for the wife, one around the kids, one around friends. But I lost my true self. I realized that looking in the mirror. I vowed to n… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/26 03:02 AM |
| 3 | Did anyone else end up divorced shortly after giving in to pressure to have children?I will have to politely disagree with this based on my situation. I grew up in a household where the dad stayed until the day I moved out and then filed for divorce. He was never happy it showed and it really took a toll on me growing up. Because of that I didn't want kids because I didn't want to mess up another life like mine was. Fast forward that is 7 years and I get married and A year later I have my first daughter. That moment changed my life. I realized at that point that I'm a different … | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/26 04:40 PM |
| 1 | What to expect at the hearing?Yes there were. But my experience was not the norm. I got full custody due to her abandonment in the courts eyes. It essentially was as little fighting as possible. I lawyered up. She couldn't afford to. I essentially could make any terms I wanted and she couldn't fight it. I went for very little though. I just wanted it over. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/26 01:01 AM |
| 2 | What to expect at the hearing?So, for my hearing, it was very quick. Surprisingly quick. I took the stand and my ex appeared via zoom. I stated my name and address. Did I fill out this agreement? Was there anything you didn't agree with? Were you coerced into signing or did this of your own free will? Do you wish to officially end the marriage? They asked her the same questions but also asked if she was or could possibly be pregnant. Then the lawyer stated that was all the questions they had. The judge said that it looks to … | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/05/26 08:43 PM |
| 3 | Just sad and looking for anyone that can relateSo yeah, I've been there. Not in a non native country, but the depression. Just know, it will get worse before it gets better. The day I filed, I thought as I sat with the lawyer that I would feel great. Instead, I realized how easy it was to throw all that time away. I spiraled. I greived. But, what you need to do is also keep your eyes open. If your situation is toxic, as mine was, you will see many little ways your life is better. I can listen to my music now with no judgement. I can watch a … | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/05/26 07:58 PM |
| 3 | How can I let go?You can let go. It will take time, but you can and will. It was about 4 months since she moved out and I took the kids on a trip. Wanted to do something that would get their minds off things. We left the hotel and we're walking past a restaurant and it looked familiar. For some strange reason, it did. Then it hit me. That's the place we spent our first dinner at as a married couple. The hotel it was attached to, different name, but the same we spent our honeymoon at. I never made the connection.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/05/26 04:45 AM |
| 4 | Has anyone improved finances through divorce?We brought in just below six figures when she and I were together for our last year. We couldn't make ends meet. Utilities were always due to be shut off. House in foreclosure. I got yelled at for eating out every day while driving for work and that's why we couldn't afford our bills. Now that she's gone, my bills are paid in full every month. Working on starting my retirement way too late but it's something. Everything is good money wise. I make less than a third of what we did last year. And e… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/05/26 11:53 AM |
| 7 | I think this chapter is over?Dude, if you are "truly happy" shouldn't mean what you think it means. Sounds like she is trying HARD and you are not putting out the effort like you used to. You are doing the same shit my wife did to me. And now I hate her and so do the kids for the most part. She had to find herself and what makes her happy. Didn't matter about the kids. Didn't matter how hard I tried. No heard about how she wondered what it was like to be with someone else cause I was all she knew. It was what SHE wanted. Yo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/26 11:06 PM |
| 4 | She keeps lying about me…I went the petty route. I paid her rent for two months. Then she cheated. It's been almost a year. Not one penny of support for the kids. Divorce is final but that stuff takes the state a while to get moving. She's a month and a half behind on support. I had to come up with almost $10k fast to keep the house and utilities on. Fuck that. I ain't doing shit for her for mother's day. She abandoned my kids. She's not a mother to them in my opinion. Their grandma did send her a card but nope, not me.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/26 06:36 PM |
| 5 | Happy Sunday fellas, divorce sucks but what's one thing you're looking forward to this week?Not looking forward to this week. Lot of pain and recovery time. Just took my oldest to a four day metal festival. Got her on the rail in the pit to see Megadeth, her favorite band. So, as a dad, I feel great. My body, meh, not so much. Lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/26 04:00 PM |
| 9 | Exs new dudeBest advice I had got for my divorce and her being with the AP is this. Think of all the crazy shit she did to you. All the cheating, the anger, the mistreatment... She will do it to that guy now. You are free. Well, you are free as long as you let go and don't let her live in your mind anymore. It's not easy. I'm at a metal festival and one of the bands played a song and it almost had me in tears because it was one that hit me hard during our split / divorce. But those moments are ok. It shows … | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/26 11:50 AM |
| 4 | Got a question for you guysContact Legal Aid in your area. They do free or low cost legal assistance. There is always a way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/05/26 02:18 AM |
| 1 | Thoughts are running a mile a minute"Worrying is paying a debt you don't owe" Be the father you think they need. There may come times when they will put their stepdad against you, but why worry about those times until they come up? Worry will kill a man faster than anything. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/26 10:22 PM |
| 5 | So... About Mother's Day?It may seem petty, but their mom abandoned them to life a new life with another guy and his kids. I didn't want to buy anything for them, but I did give the kids some money and let them pick it out and mail a card. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/26 01:57 AM |
| 17 | The Down & Dirty Truth About Becoming a Divorced DadTwo things I would add to this. One, no matter how much you like or hate your now ex, do not let that show to the kids. The like part will show how much you are weakened by her actions. It's not coming back. Also, if you show that hatred, it will only confuse them and make it harder for them to navigate this new life. And she is still their mother. Two, whatever you do, DO NOT BULLSHIT YOUR KIDS. Kids are great at seeing through the lies. They know when you are hurting even when you don't know o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/26 01:54 AM |
| 3 | Just separated and not sure what I’m supposed to do nextFor me, she up and left. And not just a few doors down but over a thousand miles away. We called and talked every day and there were tears and she wanted me down there. We had to wait for reasons, but I was considering moving too. Then the calls slowed down. There were no tears anymore. Calls much shorter. Found her staying the night at another man's house down there. The first month, I was on autopilot. Second month, I stopped focusing my anger from myself to her. I started seeing how things we… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/26 09:42 PM |
| 4 | This is probably not the place for this conversation but i am interested in seeing if any other men have came too this conclusionI'm the opposite of what you are. But I still had a woman tell me to let her know when the divorce was finalized and she would "show me what I was missing all those years..." I don't think that she understands that affection and compassion and true caring is all I was really missing. Damn these women are crazy | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/26 09:19 PM |
| 4 | What Are These GamesI don't know your situation but I will say whatever you choose, be cautious. I got the same stuff. Need to know if I can live on my own. Need to figure out who I am. All those same things most women on here have told their husbands at some point. Mine had mentioned once that she was considering coming back. She was hinting at it and testing the waters. I told her, I married her because she was the only one I wanted for life. I then said, that feeling ended when I became an option for you. And tr… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/26 10:25 AM |
| 3 | What are positive aspects of being divorced?I did this too. Sometimes work would "run over". I got accused of cheating, but the truth is I just didn't want to go home and be there with her. Amen to this I've had a few moments with this new woman and I've found that sexually we just meshed well. Talk about a self esteem boost! I ran into an old friend a week or so ago. He asked how I'm doing. I just held up my hand to show no wedding ring. He gave me a huge hug and thank God it's about time! So many pizza options! Even the ones she didn't … | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/26 02:27 AM |
| 2 | What are positive aspects of being divorced?Mine said she wanted the kind of love that her father had for her step mom. My first thought was "you did, but you proceeded to fuck everyone else to find it" She watched those kind of movies all the time and I get the sadness seeing that. But, I still hate seeing it because I know I will never open myself up to someone like that again. It hurt too much and I have too much to lose that I enjoy now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/26 02:20 AM |
| 8 | What are positive aspects of being divorced?It's the little things that make a difference. If I wanna buy dinner instead of making it, I don't have to go through a fight just to figure it out for an hour just to hear "get whatever you want' and when I do, she refuses to eat what she orders cause she wasn't "feeling it". I get what I want and don't have to fight anyone to decide. I get to be a better dad. Having full custody, I can see where I put them aside in my attempts to make her happy. Never again. No woman will come before my kids e… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/26 02:17 AM |
| 6 | Something I Will Not Miss. How About You?Having to take her lunch at home everyday. She could cook. Just wouldn't. And she is diabetic so if I didn't bring her lunch, she wouldn't eat. Then by the time I got home I'd have to make dinner as fast as possible. So I'd start making dinner and she would eat a snack and "no longer be hungry" because she had to eat or pass out. Man, the money I save in just bringing her lunch all the time is insane. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/26 02:36 PM |
| 6 | Now what….My kids and I were introduced to the AP at my kids birthday party. I was introduced as the ex even though legally we were still married. The guy even came over and stuck out his hand for a handshake. I played every scenario in my head. All the things that I wanted to say or do. In the end I shook his hand and said nothing. I didn't want to ruin my kid's birthday and anything that I had to say wouldn't make a difference anyway. She made her choice I have to live with it. I realize that it's not f… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/26 03:35 AM |
| 4 | Weird how everything fell into place like I predicted it would...It's been about 7 months. Started around the 6th month. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/05/26 10:07 AM |
| 7 | Weird how everything fell into place like I predicted it would...She says I'd like him. I said I don't want to know him. But I do pity him cause he doesn't know what he is in for. Lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/05/26 01:40 AM |
| 9 | Weird how everything fell into place like I predicted it would...I've determined to live a better life than I did when I was with her. In all aspects. Emotional. Financial. Friends. Family. Everything. I'm more embarrassed about how I lived my life for the last 20.years and let her drag me down. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/05/26 02:08 PM |
| 7 | Weird how everything fell into place like I predicted it would...I think what helps is I got the best deal out of it all. The house, the kids, support, and turned down alimony but could have had it too. It makes the transition much easier knowing I didn't have to lose much. Maybe just her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/05/26 12:52 PM |
| 2 | Scared to raise daughterThe best two pieces of advice I was ever given are these. Kids are smarter than you think they are. Be honest with them and be there for them. My kids just came to me for a talk about why certain things had to be written into our divorce. I explained to them, in a way their age would understand. I said my decisions are made for the safety and well being of them. Do not lie to kids. They can pick up on that stuff like crazy. Raise your children based on the morals and principals you believe in. O… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/26 10:52 AM |
| 1 | Can someone explain child support to me in NJ?I am in ohio and overtime and bonus payments were a factor of my income. Even if they weren't a guarantee that I would get them again. You need to get that clarified cause that can make a huge difference. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 05:06 PM |
| 3 | She wanted 80/20 custody… now she wants to reconcile after everything came out and I’m messed up over itI see a lot of people are telling you to run and if you were telling you to test the waters. Here's how I would look at it. You said you were the one trying for months and it never amounted to anything. Why would any kind of effort now make a difference? | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 04:41 PM |
| 27 | I'm down bad bros.Let me tell you a story... I went to a show and took a woman I was dating. About 4 months after it all went down. She suggested we get a hotel room since it was late and a long drive back. I was kinda shocked but sure, why not. We decided on the way up to the room, we would order a pizza and chill. No sooner than the door shut, she was on me. It was amazing and probably the best time I've had with a woman in many years. Once done, we ordered the pizza and I was on my way down to get it. I was wa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 02:58 PM |
| 1 | What would it take for you to rekindle your love with your ex-wife?But then he'd have a million dollars? I mean, I'd at least consider it for 3 million. Then gladly write her a 1.5million dollar check to fuck off again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 02:15 AM |
| 7 | What was the thing that made you say you no longer love your wife?When she up and moved 1,400 miles away leaving her kids and I alone with no money and all the utilities due to be shut off and house in foreclosure. I still loved her somehow. Then I found out she found someone else down there while she was still with me. Not the first time. Or second... Or third... I finally said, it's time I protect myself, my feelings and these kids. I won in the end. I have everything she left behind. And I am much happier now. No more walking on eggshells trying not to piss… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 02:06 AM |
| 1 | Anyone willing to admit they actually regret leaving?It's true though. Thing is, 3 or 4 months ago, I never would have felt like this and wouldn't believe that I could. Maybe it's because I got the better end of the deal, maybe it's cause of all the crazy stuff I witnessed in the 6 months away, maybe it's just realizing that I truly have benefited from her being gone. It's a strange mix of a lot of little things. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 10:52 AM |
| 3 | Anyone willing to admit they actually regret leaving?It does. I'm six months past and the paperwork is just now filed and done. There are days that it still hurts a moment or two, but I also know I'll never go back to it if offered. I'm done and I am better every day because of it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 02:26 AM |
| 4 | Divorced Dad here. Need dating advice.I would suggest possibly sitting down with her going over all of her finances with her and try to help her with creating a budget that will help her. This will give you two things. It will give you the ability to see everything that she's holding and gives you the ability to judge the risk based off of that. And if she is willing to go with a budget it will see her willingness to try and fix the problem that she's in without your help. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/26 01:46 PM |
| 1 | Dating post divorce, bad feeling, sanity checkShe is or isn't. But the chance is always there. My ex had "friends" that were just friends. Turned out she left and started fucking one and found someone else down there too. So yeah, just stand up for yourself and your feelings | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/26 02:09 AM |
| 8 | Seventeen year relationship ending, just figure I’d introduce myselfWelcome to the club of GLP-1 and weight loss surgery survivors. I helped my ex go through college to get her degree. Even did most of her classes for her bachelors cause she was too tired from working 3 days a week. I did 5 days a week, cooked meals, tended to the kids and her school work. Stomach surgery later, weight lost. Started paying tons of money for boudoir photos. Then she up and moved. Found another guy and is trying to survive. Meanwhile, I got the bills caught up. I got the kids. I g… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/26 02:04 AM |
| 5 | Just found out my wife has been recording me since she met with a lawyerFind out if you live in a one party state or two party state in respect to recorded conversations. In your home, you have some expectation of privacy. Setting up any type of recording without the other person's knowledge and consent in a two party state could be more damaging to her. I set up an old cell phone and use an app to use it like a ring camera. She's been gone over six months, so by law she isn't even a resident in this state. I set it up to make sure my kids get home since I work an h… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/04/26 04:07 AM |
| 1 | My friend built a tool that organized all his communications with his ex and got primary custody as direct result.I'm interested. Even though the divorce is finalized and over, we all know it's not TRULY over until the last kid is 18. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/04/26 01:16 AM |
| 5 | The KidsI told my older two the truth. Told the younger two, the basics. Just mommy and daddy grew apart. I answered questions and assured them I was NOT going anywhere. It wasn't their fault. I didn't give details. They don't need to know or understand. Then she decided to show up with her new boyfriend. They had more questions and I explained to them that the reason I chose to ask for a divorce is because mommy found someone else and this is what adults do when they decide to not be together. I kept t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/04/26 01:09 AM |
| 3 | Would you do it all over again?Yes. I have 4 amazing kids and I'd go through the hottest hells and most immense pain for them. So yeah, I'd go through that relationship again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/26 03:54 PM |
| 2 | I'm so scared of being aloneIt is. But I got to a point where I realized that this is the new normal, it's not going back to what I had, time to live this life. Sure, it's hard to imagine at my age starting anew. But I don't want to be stuck any longer in that past either | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/26 11:17 AM |
| 3 | I'm so scared of being aloneYou aren't starting over. You are closing a chapter and beginning a new one. The story of your life isn't over. Keep writing it. Every story has a good time, and a really bad time, but you need to be the hero at the end that comes through at the end. You can, it just takes time to write that chapter. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/26 02:56 AM |
| 5 | I’m struggling to see a life where I’ve moved on. I want to see that so bad, from people that have made it through.Ok, together 27 years, married 20. The first six months were the hardest. But the time gets better and the pain less. It never goes away fully. There will always be an occasional "what might have been" when you think of a moment or memory. Mine hit home when I was sorting through our old photos. What to keep and what to give to her. I kept nothing of the two of us together. But each picture I put in the box felt like another stab to the heart. Eventually, as I got to the end of the photos and cl… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/26 02:52 AM |
| 1 | Roles of media100%. The first time my ex cheated, she knew the guy in social circles in college. We both attended there. We were married. She had some of her female friends support her doing it and helped her succeed. Then, I was told it was her medication change that pushed her to do it. Then again... Online. She started sending nudes. It was easier because of social media. Then she told me she signed up to Facebook dating to "find friends more like her". I looked and there is a section to find "just friends… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/26 02:42 AM |
| 2 | Solo vacationI do as well. 4 kids sole custody. I wouldn't dare vacation without them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/26 10:43 AM |
| 1 | Help me (34F) understand my stbx husband (35M)I disagree. If someone wants to understand, they should be safe in coming here. She isn't bashing him. She's just looking to understand. That being said, every situation is different and no one here will know the specific answer. Just her husband. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/04/26 10:37 AM |
| 1 | Help me (34F) understand my stbx husband (35M)My favorite thing to think about is a song lyric. "Love just leaves you bruised. And I've got the scars to prove it." | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/04/26 10:34 AM |
| 6 | Rejection After Divorce Hits DifferentSee, these are the games that, frankly, I'm just too damn old to play. If you want a date, agree. If not, just say so and I'll move on. I have been avoiding attempting dating because of this | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/04/26 02:24 AM |
| 2 | Was the divorce your fault?No, it's never always 50/50. I went above and beyond to give my wife everything to make her happy. Did everything for her. Made it so she didn't have to do anything but go to work 3 days a week. I even went into debt to take her on trips she wanted to make her feel better. I put her before myself. Sickening to say, I put her before the kids too. I did everything to make it work. You figure someone has a deal like that, they would be good. No, me doing everything caused her to cheat, send nudes t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/04/26 01:19 AM |
| 10 | Was the divorce your fault?It was in the fact that I filed first. But honestly, after her first time cheating and her saying it wasn't even that big a deal because her meds led her to do it and she didn't even like the guy, I put up my guard. Then she started sending nudes to a guy we knew. I told her to end it. Then it happened again. And then again. My heart was hardened at that point. I was just waiting till the next time. Then she decided to take my daughter on a trip to Florida. The entire time she talked about this … | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/04/26 01:07 AM |
| 6 | Does anyone else’s Ex send them old baby pictures of your kids?My ex sent me a link to a memory on Facebook of me holding one of my kids after their surgery. Conversation went like this. Ex - "Awwww do you remember this and how little and vulnerable she was?" Me - "Yep." | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 10:12 PM |
| 1 | We talk a lot about postpartum moms… but what about the dads?I dealt with the issues like this with my ex. First child, she avoided for months. I did all the night feedings. And when I wasn't working, the day stuff too. Same with the second. Then we got her medicated for PPD. She wanted another kid. I told her she has to help at nights, I can't do it all the time anymore. Guess what... I could cause I did. When id ask, there was a reason why she couldn't. Work in the morning, won't be able to go back to sleep... You name it. But I could. And I did. The 4t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 11:20 AM |
| 5 | I’m a 54 year old divorced man and I’m looking to date but each time I try I only attract women who don’t look attractive why is this?Looks like I'm in luck since I like a woman that isn't just skin and bones to me. But honestly to me it's less about looks anymore. I had somebody that was very attractive and look at what she did to me. Now I'm just looking for somebody that actually cares about me listens to me and genuinely wants to be around me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/26 05:23 PM |
| 3 | And it's done... And something that hurt more than I thought it would...I enjoyed every one of them except the last year. There were ups and downs but it wasn't anything we couldn't get through. But she never was truly happy being where she was. She always had to have bigger and better and brighter and we just werent matching what she wanted anymore. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/04/26 08:13 PM |
| 1 | Less than 24 hours, I will be officially divorced...So far, $1,750. We did a disillusionment. But if she wants to fight it tomorrow it will be $4,000 or more. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/04/26 07:50 PM |
| 1 | Less than 24 hours, I will be officially divorced...Since the end of September | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/04/26 07:32 PM |
| 8 | You guys were right, you always areSee, I'm still of the mindset that I hope she does well. I don't want to see her fail. That being said, I know her and how she is and once the reality sets in and it's all said and done. She will fall flat on her face. But it doesn't affect me either way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/04/26 05:15 PM |
| 3 | Ex wants to introduce bf to kidsMy kids and I were forced to meet my STBX wife and her AP on neutral ground. I couldn't say anything because it was a large family gathering and I had to get my teeth and play nice. We still weren't divorced yet. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/04/26 12:15 PM |
| 7 | What petty things became your fault?Anytime I got sick, it was like the world's biggest inconvenience to her. She would complain that she had to do everything and I wouldn't help if I was sick. If I asked her to get the kids from the bus stop or take her kids to school. I was told then that I don't do ANYTHING for the kids at all and how horrible I am. Like really? I'm at every program especially when I'm supposed to be at work. I take them to most activities and school. I could name sooo many more, but those were the main ones. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/04/26 03:18 AM |
| 1 | Still with the hidden camerasShe packed up. Moved over 1k miles away. Lawyer says it's abandonment so no chance of her gaining custody. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/04/26 12:20 AM |
| 1 | Still with the hidden camerasWe aren't in that situation. I have full custody and she rarely sees them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/03/26 07:15 PM |
| 1 | Still with the hidden camerasBecause it's to my kids. I want to make sure she's not feeding them any more shit than she already does. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/03/26 07:04 PM |
| 1 | Still with the hidden camerasI set one up in my home. My STBX doesn't live here and I use it to make sure the older kids get home from school ok. But... It has come in handy when she comes to sort through her things and she thinks she's alone with the kids. It's nice to hear both sides. Make sure she isn't talking about me behind my back which she's known to do. But, I don't use it for any other purpose than home security. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/03/26 10:52 AM |
| 2 | Divorcing.. Keep the house or get an apartment?I am keeping the house currently as my children are growing up in it. I'm going to make double payments and put tax refunds toward the principal in order to pay it off in 9 years. It's a large 2 story house and much too big for my needs.once the last child moves out, I am selling and buying a much smaller house to live in. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/03/26 12:19 PM |
| 3 | Just Need To WriteI know you don't need a response, but know we are here for you. Hit me up if you need to talk. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/03/26 01:01 AM |
| 1 | Listen to this song and read the lyrics, Feeling Good by Michael BubléBetter than the playlist I had on. It started playing sad music and got me in a funk again. But, as long as I don't start "Today" by the smashing pumpkins, I'll be ok. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/03/26 12:57 AM |
| 1 | How to handle kids when they want mom?Man, this is something that's gonna hit you hard. I have one under 10. He is strong and doesn't show his feelings over it. There are cracks, but he is trying to be strong. One just over 10. She is taking it really hard. She knows mom isn't coming back, but deep down she is still holding out a miniscule amount of hope. We went on a weekend trip about a month ago. Having a blast. I saved up for this trip to do something special for them. We were having fun and all of a sudden her face just dropped… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/03/26 12:49 AM |
| 3 | Giving up on my kids for everyone's peace?I have to say, I have a great lawyer for the situation I'm in. She left to chase some fantasy of hers. Have to learn who she is and if she can survive on her own... Blah blah blah. Leaving me with 3 kids, bills due for disconnect, house in foreclosure. You name it. When I found out the truth, I went straight to a lawyer. When I told her everything and I was afraid of losing the kids, she just said "you don't have a chance of losing them. I'll make sure of it.". But, in a not so nice tone and not… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/03/26 12:33 AM |
| 4 | Unsolicited rant from exJust don't answer. If you do, keep it short and bland. Three words or less. No more. If she sees it gets to you, she wins. Be strong. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/03/26 12:10 AM |
| 10 | Let’s get to the point - did she leave us because of money, sex or boredomShe left because she took a job somewhere and told me it was to establish us so we could move down there later this year. I later found out she was chasing a HS crush and he happened to be "bi". I say it that way because he is in a Relationship with another guy. She said she was messing with him to my daughter. Oh, and add to the fact that I found out she is staying the night with another guy as well. The first denies that anything happened, but with all this shit she pulls, who knows. Honestly,… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/26 07:44 PM |
| 2 | Anyone else have a STBX that has people fooled?And when that time comes you just reply with a basic "that's nice". Don't add the fuel to whatever fire she's throwing at you. Keep it short and shut it down and it'll just piss her off more. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 03:57 PM |
| 1 | Just heard a car backfire 5 times.Over time, she will let go of that. Just hold on day by day | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/26 09:23 PM |
| 1 | Just heard a car backfire 5 times.It's the little things. I hold on to those most. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/26 09:07 PM |
| 7 | When did you stop calling her your wife?When she introduced me to the guy she cheated with as her ex. Divorce isn't final yet. After that, fuck it. I'm not ok, but I'm getting there. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/26 03:06 AM |
| 6 | Spill the teaThree words still ring in my head. "I was lonely" Didn't matter that she up and moved 1,400 miles away and knew I couldn't move till summer. Didn't matter that I was lonely too. Didn't matter that she told me she "had to figure out who she is and if she can live on her own"... Didn't matter that I was lonely too. Her answer was just "I was lonely". Now they are dating. Go figure. I filed because there instantly became no "Us" anymore. I wasn't her spouse anymore, I was an option. And I'm not goi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/26 03:25 AM |
| 2 | Divorce is depressing, what are you all looking forward to this week?Just got back from a long weekend vacation with the kids. Looking forward to getting work over so I can come home and relax | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/26 11:22 AM |
| 3 | Update. Forgiving a cheater lead to more cheatingThe best advice I can give is what was given to me. Look into getting a female attorney. I know it doesn't make sense, but I consulted one and struck gold. I told her everything mine had done to me and she just said "wow, what a bitch. So, are we going for everything or do you want to make this easier?". And when I said I was worried about losing the kids, she said "there is no way I or the court would allow her to take them from you after all this..." She has been amazing! | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/26 11:38 AM |
| 2 | Opinions pleaseSee, in my opinion, I don't bring my kids around anyone I would date until something gets established. I don't need a long line of people in and out of their lives. She on the other hand is already introducing her whole family to her new boyfriend / AP. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 10:58 PM |
| 2 | Anyone else getting bitter towards the idea of marriage?Not bitter. Just not doing it ever again. I refuse to open up and let someone else that deep into my life again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/26 09:03 PM |
| 2 | Looking for advice - Photographs/memoriesBetter everyday. Living my best life. Shelled out for two rock music festivals and about 10 other concerts this year | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/26 06:58 PM |
| 2 | Looking for advice - Photographs/memoriesMine was after 20 years, 27 together. You can do this. Just be strong and know that it's ok to feel how you feel but there is light at the end of the tunnel | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/26 03:55 PM |
| 3 | Looking for advice - Photographs/memoriesI kept all the pictures of just the kids or the kids and myself. The ones of her or the ones of us together got packed up and is going back to her. As well as all our wedding stuff. She can do what she wants with those memories. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/26 11:18 AM |
| 2 | Reflecting and realizing how past shapes futureThey are my focus now. But I do have time where I can enjoy the little things I used to do for me too. It's a nice balance and something I've forgotten about. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 08:06 PM |
| 1 | Reflecting and realizing how past shapes futureYeah, I quit the antidepressants I was on. I told my doc that I needed to face these issues head on and learn from them. A musician that writes about mental issues once said " when it comes to mental health, you can be a victim or a student.". I've chosen to not let these issues ruin me. I'm learning to face them. Learn from them. And trying to be better because of them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 08:05 PM |
| 2 | Reflecting and realizing how past shapes futureWow, that's a lot to have to escape from and I'm glad you both are on a better path. My mother did similar but my father insisted that staying together was best. That couldn't have been more wrong. I was more reserved and avoided people, even my own parents. My kids all are reacting differently to our situation. That makes it tough to navigate sometimes. I promised them I would not get in the way of any relationship they want with their mom. It's the best I can do. But their mom is similar. Put … | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 08:03 PM |
| 2 | Reflecting and realizing how past shapes futureYes, I can agree. But I also see the person I am now and the small people that I helped create that love me unconditionally. I never would have known those things and how much better I am because of them | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 06:53 PM |
| 4 | Divorce I do not want.I am the spouse that filed and even though I filed I still didn't want it 20 years. Gone, just like that. But I realized that I didn't matter when I caught her staying the night at a single guy's house. That and living 1,400 miles away kinda had a big push towards it. I still have days where I am broken up. Even more recently while she tries to fix things that can't be fixed. Eventually, I just came to the conclusion that this is what it had to come to. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 11:58 AM |
| 2 | Any head drugs you got prescribed to help?I was on a low dose anti depressant. Once this all got started, I quit taking it. I realized I was using it to numb myself against how she made life so stressful. So I quit taking it. My doctor asked why and I told him, I need to learn how to confront my own feelings and not just push them aside by medicating myself. He gave me a standing order and said if I ever needed them again, they were there. I found I have less anxiety for the most part now that she is gone | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/03/26 10:45 AM |
| 1 | What divorce/stress related health issues have gotten you?Lack of appetite. Kids are worried about me. But I eat something small every morning and one meal in the late afternoon. Lost 7 pounds in about a week and a half. Lots more to lose, but I'm liking where it's going. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/26 11:40 AM |
| 2 | How long did it take for the feelings to go?They still havent left. But I did have someone tell me they were stalking me on Facebook ever since she heard I was having trouble Today, I had a woman reach out to me today after seeing the song I posted I was listening to. She was like, "if you ever need a hug, im here ;) " Damn... | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/02/26 06:15 PM |
| 2 | The wave of pain finally hit meI used to drink socially maybe once or twice a year but never enough to get drunk. Im not gonna lie that it hasnt been tempting to just get blackout drunk so I dont feel like this for a short time. But I won't. But man is it tempting. Anything to dull the pain. And yes, I get those thoughts a lot when im alone. Which is a good bit. I dont have coworkers around. Kids are around until bedtime. But I would rather deal with my pain than cause them any by not being here. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/26 03:39 PM |
| 2 | The wave of pain finally hit meThanks! I just feel like i have hit my lowest point in all this. I knew it was coming. I knew she checked out almost a year before she left. But, it just really hit home going through all the memories and our past. But I will persevere. I will survive. Because I have to. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/26 03:35 PM |
| 1 | The wave of pain finally hit meWow... thanks man. I absolutely feel like that character. I've looked at it as just putting on a show for everyone and just falling apart every time im alone. Can't let them see her get to me. And yes, I know its gonna be hard for her to get any custody of them, but there is always a chance. Even a slim one is too much for me. And I also feel like she won't try because they will remind her of her old life and interfere with her new one. Plus, she works midnights. That means who know will be watc… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/26 02:00 PM |
| 1 | Officially signed my divorce today and feeling like an absolute failure but it is what it isI feel the same brother, but I have to wait until April to feel worse on my own. I cant wait for this madness to be temporarily over. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/26 01:55 PM |
| 1 | The wave of pain finally hit meAnd even worse is when we do have to talk, she digs at me and creates this whole narrative that never happened. The worse feeling is, I feel like this is gonna go 2 ways. She either sinks big time and will possibly want back. Which will kill me all over again, cause I know I would want that but know I cant because I have to protect myself. Or 2, she will get someone and fight to get the kids off of me. Destroying me even more. I am trying to live in the moment, but I have to keep plans for anyth… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/26 01:33 PM |
| 2 | The wave of pain finally hit meI am trying just this, but its so damn hard right now. And trying to help the kids isnt easy. I field questions that absolutely break my heart. My 16 year old daughter broke down for the first time in all.of this and it was when she found out her mom's new boyfriend had a kid her age. She just asked me "why am I not good enough?" How do you answer that? And my daughter told me that she told her she really misses the kids. And her boyfriend immediately said, "well, in the future we can fight for … | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/26 11:47 AM |
| 2 | The wave of pain finally hit meI appreciate it. Its so hard to see, and my kidd have been trying to make sure I smile and I eat more than a few bites a day. It sucks feeling like this, but I know I have to hold onto those kids and allow them to be my strength | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/26 11:42 AM |
| 1 | The wave of pain finally hit meAnd thats what I told her was going to happen if she got the surgery. I said it jokingly, but I told her she would go out and find someone else if she did. I always got the "oh, you are just being paranoid. I would never do that...." But, I knew. And seeing what you wrote, looks like the odds were stacked against me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/26 11:40 AM |
| 1 | Please give me strength...Yeah, I sat back and I played nice. Papers are signed and filed. But, I was told the disillusionment court date is a minimum of 30 days after filing. So, I play nice. I smile. I show her that I have things under control. I show that I dont need her anymore. But damn does it still hurt. Its hard to put on a strong show. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/26 01:52 AM |
| 1 | Please give me strength...I did throw a celebration with her the weekend before. We had lunch and cake at her favorite restaurant. And in a few weeks im taking them all on a mini vacation. :) | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/26 12:31 PM |
| 2 | Please give me strength...Once the pain of being divorced ends for my kids for the most part, this is how its gonna be. But in the beginning, I have to help her heal.anyway I can. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/26 12:29 PM |
| 1 | Please give me strength...I did. And it was a first step in a path of learning how to control myself and learn to let go. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/26 12:28 PM |
| 2 | Please give me strength...I did exactly this. No matter how much I wanted to say or do something, I didnt. I let my kids enjoy the first time with their mom in 3 months. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/26 12:28 PM |
| 2 | Please give me strength...We did our own little celebration a week ago. I know that this was a good excuse to show him off to her family. But I sat back and let the show go on. I decided I am not gonna be the reason her birth day goes wrong. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/26 12:26 PM |
| 1 | Please give me strength...I dont blame you. Its taking a lot of strength. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/26 12:20 AM |
| 3 | Please give me strength...Well, the reason I filed was because she came up for Thanksgiving and slept with me and then spent the rest of the holiday hiding and talking to a "friend". Turns out I find out that she spent the night at his house the week before she came up to see her kids and me. I thought we were good after all. So, its been since the end of November, maybe longer. That part has ate me up inside since all of this started. But, she introduced him to everyone and introduced me as her Ex. Which we aren't yet, … | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/26 12:09 AM |
| 3 | Please give me strength...Its kinda a weird feeling. I did everything to make her happy. Nothing worked. Now, she seems happy. And yes, its stings to see, but im glad for her. I know she doesn't feel the same im sure, but I will forge ahead and make my way. I just have to find my happiness and my way to move on. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/02/26 11:46 PM |
| 3 | Please give me strength...Yeah, we had our own celebration, but she said she wanted her family there and needed me. She has basically tried to push the fact we are done out of her mind. Its taking time for her to process this in her own way | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/02/26 10:52 PM |
| 5 | Please give me strength...No downvote from me. You do you. I have no desire to see this guy or her. Honestly, if she only knew the anger brewing in me. But... my daughter is taking it very hard and she said she needs me there. Doesn't matter what happens, when my kids say they need me, everything else stops. Eventually, I hope to get to an amicable state after 20 plus years of marriage, but not now and not anytime soon. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/02/26 10:33 PM |
| 1 | Please give me strength...I am and plan to. But its so tough. I want to introduce myself as her husband so bad... | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/02/26 09:58 PM |
| 6 | anyone divorced due to lack of intimacyI had the opposite. I like a "bigger" woman. Its what im into. She got that stomach surgery. I told her before hand that I am afraid it would make her want to leave. She swore it wouldn't. She got skinnier, but not terribly. But enough she started getting noticed and now... she moved out, found another guy anf I filed. You would think I am psychic or something... | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/02/26 09:26 PM |
| 6 | There's no incentive to being a good man anymore.I have a change id like to add to this statement. I am the father of 3 daughters. Their mother up and left them with me. Im trying to raise them right and teach them to be greatful, respect themselves and others and just be an overall decent person. They see what their mom has done and it pisses them off. I feel like sometimes they just need to be raised right. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/02/26 12:39 AM |
| 1 | Child Support QuestionI will be getting CS once this is all finalized in 30 days. I plan on marking down where every cent goes so that I can prove its going to support them and not me. But, with my income, I can scrape by without it. But she makes roughly 60% more than me, so she agreed to pay. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/26 05:58 PM |
| 3 | How much do you pay monthly child support? How much custody do you have? How about alimony?30 days till its all finalized, but I'll have 0 CS, receive no alimony and have full custody of the kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/02/26 02:22 PM |
| 8 | How am I supposed to be expected to just give it all up?The best advice i can give is to take a day alone and really sit and think about the history of your marriage. Look at all the signs you chose to ignore because you were in love. For me, there were many I glazed over because I had the marriage blinders on. I also have 4 kids, but the way I see it is this. I wasn't in love with her anymore, but in love with the situation we were in. I got to come home to my kids every day. We had some laughs and adventures, but I felt afterwards that those weren'… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/02/26 02:18 PM |
| 2 | The audacity...Im trying. But I got full custody of the kids and seeing the younger two struggle with this makes it tough. Hearing a kid say she would rather not get calls or see her again would be better cause it hurts too much when she does. Thats hard to see a kid go through. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/26 05:17 PM |
| 1 | The audacity...I am guilty. Its like the movie 40 Year Old Virgin. To quote it "you put the pussy on a pedestal ". I did everything I could so she could do nothing. Practically killed myself for 20 years like that. Now, im still doing it all, but its cause i have the kids and I actually enjoy it now. Cause they appreciate it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/26 04:29 PM |
| 2 | The audacity...Oh yeah, I had that said to me. " I have to find out who I am... I have to see if i can learn to live on my own..." My response was, its pretty sad that I know who you are and you dont. And living on her own? She still borrows money off my oldest daughter all the time... Fucking bullocks is absolutely true. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/26 04:26 PM |
| 2 | The audacity...I feel the same way. Eventually someone will come along for each of us. But to me, introducing my kids to them is far down the road. And they have to know that my kids are first in my life and always will be. But its been 3 months. I shouldn't be surprised she moved so fast. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/26 04:24 PM |
| 3 | The audacity...Exactly. She said it would like this guy. She said we have the same personality. Why would I want to meet someone like this? I want to tell him to run away while.he still can! | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/26 04:22 PM |
| 4 | The audacity...All I do now is for the kids. But the problem is, half of them want nothing to do with this new guy. The younger 2 dont really care, but want me there too. Its tough navigating my emotions as well as those of my 4 kids. But I get what you mean. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/26 04:21 PM |
| 6 | The audacity...Yeah, I told her she can get her stuff out. He is not allowed in the house. She invited me to this bowling event too. I told her no. But my daughter wants her "family" there and said her family isnt there if her dad isnt. So... I gotta tread that lightly. Ive gotten quite good.at telling her no. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/26 04:19 PM |
| 2 | The audacity...Ha! Yeah, I wanted to say something like that, but I kept it civil. I also wanted to point out that it wasn't right to flaunt her "new family" to everyone, and i mean she invited everyone in her family to this party. And its only been 3 months. I also want to warn this new guy about what he is walking into. But... fuck it. Let him learn. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/26 02:46 PM |
| 9 | The audacity...Oh, she told me that no one can call her a bad mom cause she tries to call her kids every night. Nevermind the fact you moved 1,400+ miles away from them... | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/26 05:09 AM |
| 7 | Better as friends than married?Mine betrayed me, many times. I wish we could be close friends just so that the kids won't have it so hard. But, I know it cant be, so I dont sweat it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/01/26 12:11 PM |
| 3 | Feeling Invalidated for Years - she moved outIm sorry but your best bet is to move on. And i say that from experience. I was married 20, together for 27. 4 kids. She moved out and states away too. For a short time, I was hurt. Felt the same as you do now. But I took time and looked at our entire history. After that I came to a harsh realization. I was never what she really wanted. There was always someone else she sought affection from. Cheated only once that I knew of. But would sext guys. Get mad at me when caught and make it out like I … | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/01/26 12:08 PM |
| 1 | Thinking about taking the plunge - financial considerationsYeah, once she left, it was so relaxing. Even my older kids admitted that it felt like a toxic cloud just lifted. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/01/26 03:30 AM |
| 2 | Thinking about taking the plunge - financial considerationsDude, leave while you can. You kids are old enough that you won't be on child support for that long. It will be tough, but a better life. My STBXW would have no qualms about spending 200 bucks at a department store. But, the reason we were always behind on everything was because I get lunch for work everyday while im driving. Its like $10. I spent $150 once to renew a subscription for PS. The one thing i enjoy of my own and I was yelled at saying it was a major expense and we need to talk about … | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/01/26 12:03 AM |
| 7 | Found the affair yesterdayOh absolutely sure. They look and act just like me. But I get it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/01/26 02:12 AM |
| 10 | Found the affair yesterdayI know that most people on here are right and she will probably cheat again. But let me tell you my story, the short version. I caught her cheating. She said it was due to her mental health meds being changed and she wasn't herself. It was true to some extent, because she wasn't acting right. But I believed things could get better. And the did. For some time. Then a year ago, she wanted to do a "trial seperation". I said no, we can just split up. A few days later she said no, thats not what she … | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/01/26 01:25 AM |
| 1 | 14 overnights vs. 50/50I would suggest something that alternates years where each can claim, or each claim one and alternate the other. If you are willing to do that or think you cant get the right to claim all 3. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/26 03:17 AM |
| 14 | Something I keep noticing about men in the middle of divorceOne of the best pieces of advice came from a therapist I was forced to see while I was on the trauma ward after a serious car accident. I had a medical issue that was undiagnosed and made worse by medication I was on that caused the accident. I was very angry. I didnt want to see a therapist. I just wanted to know why me and why it had to happen. The therapist said to me that she isnt one of those normal types of therapist and just said, "can I ask you a question?" I grumbled I guess. And I will… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/26 03:10 AM |
| 2 | I’m so mad at herIf it was a test, then you passed in your own way. Relationships where one has to test the other means a lack of proper communication skills and an immature outlook on the marriage. At least in my opinion. Mine withheld affection from me for over six months. No hugs, no kisses, pulling away while touching, avoiding any and all intimate advances... so I just stopped. When I brought it up she said she did it intentionally as a test to see how much I loved her and if id fight for her. I blew up and… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/26 03:02 AM |
| 2 | Wedding ringThat's five I would gladly lose | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 03:48 PM |
| 1 | Staying for the kids—yay or nayYes it absolutely is messing them up. Kids can pick up on the tension and unease and it makes it very difficult to learn how to grow in a relationship. I came from a home where my father stayed for the kids. The day I moved into my first apartment, he was all smiles for the first time in ages. I asked whats up and he said, your moving out, now I can divorce your mom. The relief he had was so staggering. I spent most of my time secluded away from them.because living with them.was unbearable. My m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/01/26 10:59 PM |
| 5 | Should I file?Weigh the pros and cons of staying and leaving. Its as simple as that. My father told me that when I was trying to decide. When I couldnt think of one positive thing about staying, I realized I was just putting off the inevitable. If you think there is a chance that saving it is possible, float the idea of counseling. If thats a hard pass, then you know the next step. If you dont even want to do counseling, then you also know the answer. Life's too short to spend it miserable. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/01/26 10:49 PM |
| 2 | Wedding ringIts a cheap titanium ring. I have an allergy to gold. Lol I'd maybe get $5 if im lucky. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/01/26 10:01 PM |
| 2 | Wedding ringThe moment I filed. Im no longer wanting to be tied to the dead relationship. There is a creek i go to when im feeling down or depressed. Its filled with wild geese and ducks. Ill buy some bread or crackers and feed them. Once its final. Im gonna go there and throw my ring in. If throwing the bread and crackers in brings me peace and happiness, maybe throwing my ring in will too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/01/26 09:55 PM |
| 3 | It’s doneBrother, that's just a new low. Never forgive that one. Mine just up and moved 14 hours away and little over 3 months ago. Just found out shes already moved in with a guy down there. Fucking makes me sick with rage because my youngest daughter cries daily wishing mom would come home. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/01/26 03:31 AM |
| 3 | I feel wrong for feeling relieved after it's overI was hurt at first but got over it fairly quick. I knew things were bad when I heard everything she complained about. I usually let things go easily, so its rare I let something bother me. I came to her with something that really.was bothering me. Her response? "OH just get over it". I remember it to this day. Even the exact sound of it. It cut me deep. I told her and shes just like, yeah, you should get over it. Then I can basically second your comment on how everything had to be done her way.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/26 09:22 PM |
| 2 | How do you navigatedating as a single dad?Yeah, she has been a single parent for a while and she kind of been my go to for advice on navigating these waters for the first time. But honestly, kids are first and if thats a deal breaker, well, ive lived long enough with a toxic person, im not looking to add another. Time to move on. So much easier not having all the legal back and forth | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/26 02:01 PM |
| 3 | How do you navigatedating as a single dad?I put it out there that my kids come first and that I am NOT planning on ever getting married again.. I met someone through work. It was strange cause she was into me for a while but kept distant because I was married. But, when I took my ring off, she noticed and hinted at the fact she was into me. We talked and I laid those ground rules out. Plus she has a kid and I told her I wouldnt get between her and her kid either. So far, so good, but its still the beginning so who knows. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/26 01:43 PM |
| 1 | The struggle between self and savior...I agree completely, anf i try to keep the information as vague as possible because I dont know if she would figure me out based on what I say. If she even cares as much to do so. We are trying to remain civil, but when she calls from her "friends" house to talk to the kids, it really irks me. Even my oldest said, let's just call it what it is and just say mom's new boyfriend. And thats when i realized that shes moved on and is only saying that cause we are still technically married and that woul… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/26 11:21 AM |
| 4 | The struggle between self and savior...Oh I am getting full custody. Thats the good news in this experience. Im not helping but I like the analogy you used. I never looked at it like that | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/26 10:57 PM |
| 2 | Stuck between two tough decisionsOk, so this is something I have some experience in. It seems your afraid mental health issues are going to be a problem since you have had that before. Sit down and talk to her. I cannot stress this enough. Explain how you feel. Post partum depression is real. Explain and come up with a plan because many times, women dont see or refuse to see the issues. Come up with a plan to speak with her provider, both general practitioner and her OB about your fears WITH her. Even people that have had no me… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/26 08:13 PM |
| 2 | The struggle between self and savior...Yeah, I've already bailed her out twice so she could keep her place. Even at my own expense. But when I read that she is back in the same experience, I realized im not helping her. Im just supporting her bills while she enjoys her life. Well, time to start enjoying mine. She left me with a house in foreclosure, bills past due to the point of them being disconnected in days... why should I pay hers when she never paid OURS. So yeah, its sink or swim time, no matter how bad that feels. Happy 2026 … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/26 03:46 PM |
| 1 | The struggle between self and savior...Yeah, it is. She's had mental health struggles and I know that this is just another really long downward spiral. I told her the last time that if she ever hurt me.again or lied to me, I wouldnt be there to pick her up. And now she needs it. And yeah. It does hurt. I dont want to see her like this and want her to magically find this happiness and peace that she left to look for. But on the other side, im preparing. Im setting myself on a good path and working on me. Something I've not done for ye… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/26 03:42 PM |
| 3 | The struggle between self and savior...Yeah, I noticed the manipulation part of it right away. Sweet kind words, followed by a need for help.with things, followed by the phrase "I know its not your problem, but i am just frustrated..." and yeah, its not mu problem anymore. But that old me, not as strong as before, still wants to help. But new me is like fuck that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/26 03:40 PM |
| 1 | The struggle between self and savior...Her or me? Im not helping, I just find that its so interesting that I have a new side to me, one thats nothing like I was with her. And that side is winning. Its come out stronger than I could have imagined. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/26 03:38 PM |
| 2 | The struggle between self and savior...Oh I get it, but its also myself.thats arguing. My past self wants to help, my new self is telling me to not. And my new self is winning. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/26 03:37 PM |
| 2 | The struggle between self and savior...See, thats how I feel too. Like, yeah, she did some pretty heinous things, but i feel like those things are things that I moved past. My kids come first now and I realized that includes her in some form. So I am trying to be amicable but sometimes its difficult and sometimes its easy. Such is life | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/26 02:40 PM |
| 1 | The struggle between self and savior...Yeah, it's just hard to flip that switch seeing as that was part of my whole personality. But i didnt and I won't. I just cant. But I needed to get off my chest how tough it is to separate that part of me from who I am now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/26 05:25 AM |
| 2 | The struggle between self and savior...Yeah, I get it. See, im over the angry phase. I had almost 4 months to deal with the anger. Then a month post filing to deal with the grief and loss. Now, im no longer feeling numb. Im happier. But those moments just make me feel like I used to again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/26 04:07 AM |
| 15 | What was your ex wife’s occupation?Funny enough, I was reading that nursing is the profession most likely to cheat on your spouse. Mine was... an RN. Registered Nurse. And by seeing that 3 outfit the 4 responses on here are the same... I believe it now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/26 03:25 AM |
| 1 | The trap waiting for you 3 years from nowNo. High school sweethearts. I had dated before but she hadn't. But I was in love. Thought I found someone that made me a better person. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/25 07:03 PM |
| 4 | The trap waiting for you 3 years from nowShe really wanted it. I came from a broken family and felt like I was damaged goods. She made me feel like it was worth trying. I say she talked me into it, but I had my reasons from my history growing up. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/25 06:26 PM |
| 3 | The trap waiting for you 3 years from nowIve held fast that I am NEVER getting married again. I now say the same thing I thought before my STBXW talked me into getting married. Why ruin a great thing with a contract? So, no, I am no longer getting married again. I put that out there from now on and if thats a deal breaker, then I guess its time to move on. Im not looking for another ex. Im looking for another extra. Someone that puts that extra effort into a relationship. Cause I never got that end of it for the least years of my marri… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/25 06:01 PM |
| 2 | I’m Over ItMy lawyer is great. She wants to go after everything. I held her back. We are trying a disillusionment but if she doesn't sign, my lawyer said its a straight up $4k fee plus court cost if we fight it out. She said we would probably get whatever we wanted given my situation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/12/25 07:04 PM |
| 4 | Gentleman- when did you know “I don’t love her anymore”When she was caught in another lie about staying overnight at another guys house when she said she was out with a friend and left her phone there. I decided to end it when I confronted her and instead of saying, "I know. Im wrong and im sorry" I ended up getting screamed at for my distrust of her and all that. Followed up with the sentence "I had to lie because I knew it would be like this..." well, how can you trust someone that tries to lie constantly? I still love the memories and fun times w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/12/25 07:02 PM |
| 2 | Well, I WAS doing fine...To help you understand, for me its not about losing her. I dont care about that. Its more about the death of 30 years of memories. Everything in my life for 30 years was tied around her. Trust me, she feels the hate from me for what shes done. But, when she says stuff like this, it really hurts cause deep down those memories dont scream out in death but in hope, and that hurts more than them dying. If that makes sense. Its hard to explain. Its kinda like the Three Days Grace song, "I hate everyt… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/12/25 09:11 PM |
| 5 | I am not doing well.A hard truth i faced is, never turn to alcohol. Alcohol numbs the pain, but the pain will always be there. Face that pain head on and defeat it man. You got this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/12/25 05:08 PM |
| 28 | She wanted to prove she could do it without me 🤣I got the same talk. "I dont know who I am anymore. Im always known as the kids mom or your wife. Not just known for me" I also heard the "I need to learn to live on my own. You do everything for me, and you make me lazy..." Since she moved down there, she: Found a new guy. Quit one job to find another and not start that one in over a month Borrowed money from everyone she could. Had me pay part of her rent so she didnt get kicked out of her apartment twice. Didn't help with Xmas at all and call… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/12/25 05:04 PM |
| 3 | Well, I WAS doing fine...Im trying. Its just hard with the holidays, but I took a stand and I won't back down. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/12/25 03:46 AM |
| 2 | Well, I WAS doing fine...I never looked at it from that way. Thank you so much for that! | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/25 03:39 PM |
| 5 | Men who divorced with kids — how do you feel now?I am a child of divorce and also currently.going through one. I knee my parents weren't happy and I withdrew a lot from things and would seclude myself away from them because the tension was just so powerful. My father stayed "for the kids" and regretted it but felt it was the right thing. I dont think it was becaue id rather see him happy apart than struggling together This year, I have my kids for Xmas. Divorce is still in the process, but she up and moved half a day away. No chance of seeing … | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/25 11:50 AM |
| 3 | Well, I WAS doing fine...I am staying on this path. Its just tough when she does that cause its what I always wanted to hear before all this. Merry Xmas! | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/25 11:35 AM |
| 3 | Well, I WAS doing fine...Oh I know, but it still hurts to see. But I will survive i know. One day at a time. Merry Xmas! | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/25 11:34 AM |
| 4 | Well, I WAS doing fine...Im trying. Today is a new day! Merry Xmas! | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/25 11:33 AM |
| 6 | Well, I WAS doing fine...Same here, except the sleep part. Lol Merty Xmas! | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/25 11:32 AM |
| 7 | She told me today. Christmas EveYeah, welcome to your freedom. The thing she is using for leverage is just what you wanted. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/12/25 10:42 PM |
| 1 | Post divorce relationshipsI think it depends. Single moms can be a volatile mix. Single dad's too. But I had people hit on me while married. It seemed to attract them. So I think the not being able to have me helped. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/12/25 12:46 AM |
| 3 | I think its over and im feeling very aloneYou sound like my life except i was the one working full time then cooking and cleaning. To me, you seem to be holding on to hold on. Keep things the same. But honestly, she has control of you. All the things you say seems like her way of keeping control. She dictates how everything goes. You should file first to be honest. You probably would get child support. Probably more. But if you feel its leading to this, take control for once and file first. Or at least consult with an attorney. And, my … | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/25 10:08 PM |
| 2 | Please. Share your success story. You never know who needs it.Surprisingly, I met her at work. Its just one of those surprising moments. She noticed I wasn't wearing my ring anymore and kinda let slip that she had been into me for a long time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/25 12:41 PM |
| 8 | 3 years post divorce, still paying off divorce debtAmen to that last part. I thought i was in love but put off getting married cause I saw what it did to my parents. Fast forward almost 30 years and here I am. No longer in love, battling it out to end it. At least I have my wonderful kids! | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/25 12:31 PM |
| 1 | What are your thoughts on posting your kids pictures on social media?My kids still send her pics of events and such. She posts them like she was here. Its sad really... | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/25 12:23 PM |
| 4 | Please. Share your success story. You never know who needs it.So, I am not all the way through it yet, but I feel a success nonetheless. I have already connected with another woman that loves to talk and actually listen to my feelings and has been there for me more than my STBXW has in years. I even said upfront, I dont know where this will go, but I know im not looking to get married again. Figured that would be a deal breaker, but she is fine with it! My kids have become more loving and fun and open. I've had multiple people tell me they noticed a real p… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/25 11:53 AM |
| 1 | What are your thoughts on posting your kids pictures on social media?I don't post pictures to social media. My STBXW posts pictures of them all the time and acts like they are her world. Yet she moved 10 states away from them. Never came up for Xmas to see them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/25 11:44 AM |
| 10 | Post divorce relationshipsIm quite surprised at how its going and its not even finalized yet. I was talking to someone I work with and while I was in her office, she noticed I took my ring off. She asked if i needed to talk. I just kinda started pouring out all my frustration ending it all with... I just am afraid I dont know how to be alone. She then said, "maybe you don't have to..." then she proceeds to tell me how she has always been into me but kept her distance because I was married. So we have been talking more. H… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/25 11:41 AM |
| 5 | Waiting until after the holidays, getting ready for Divorce. Turning 47 and scared honestly.The only advice I can give you is dont bullshit kids. They are smart and know when their home is being disrupted. I had to tell my kids aged 11 and 9 about a week ago. I too tried waiting till after Xmas. My 11 year old just said to me, Dad, dont lie to me. I know somethings wrong here. I told her, I would tell them if they want to know, but its going to hurt. We talked about how we grew apart. I never painted any of the bad stuff for them. It hurt them, but it hurt less knowing that tension was… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/25 05:00 AM |
| 4 | Feel destroyedYeah, the quick turn around hurts. Mine told me in a year that I dont do enough for her. Then said, I do too much for her and make her lazy. Then she up and left. I filed 4 months later after she signed up to dating sites and started seeing someone. I confronted her, she lied. Changed the lie. Then said its just a friend that happens to be a single guy.she found on a dating site. What hurt is she said to me that I was an amazing man and an excellent father. I realized that she never said that to… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/25 04:50 AM |
| 4 | Profound statementWhen my wife up and moved and essentially begged me to move down there, I spoke to my father and he just asked me "if you move down there, what are you losing?" I instantly.could name a list of things I was losing. Then he said, "if you move down there, what do you gain." I had no answer. I just said, "I dont know" He said, "if the loss is more than you gain, why would you move?" Sometimes, we just need someone to open our eyes for us. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/25 04:44 AM |
| 5 | Truth about some of these guys on hereIm sure there are bad people here, there are bad people everywhere. But the thing is, you have to trust someone sometime. Most of us have been hurt and forced to distrust almost anything. Learning to trust again is difficult. And if someone is untruthful here, thats almost as bad as what most of us are going through. That being said, I worry about you. If your father is as evil as you say, then I fear you may be following in his footsteps by coming on here to verbally attack a lot of other peopl… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/25 04:38 AM |
| 3 | Feel destroyedBrother, I am sorry you have to go through this. Just know that you are not alone in this. I felt alone until I found this subreddit and everytime I come back, I see people living similar parts to what I am going through. I hate seeing so many people hurt, but it helps to know your not alone. If you need to talk, I as well as many others are here for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/25 04:23 AM |
| 13 | Lessons Learned: Never Ignore Your Wife's Relationship with External Validation--Social MediaAre you me? Cause this sounds so familiar. My wife had the stomach surgery. She lost a good bit which, to be honest kinda made me sad. I thought she was dead sexy the way she was. I also understood she would be healthier, so I supported her. I admitted to her that, I was afraid that once she lost weight she would leave me for someone else. "No honey, that would never happen..." stupid me. She had already cheated once and we worked through it, i thought. Now this surgery... I was concerned. Then … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/25 04:18 AM |
| 2 | Feel destroyedI obviously dont know your situation and can only relate mine to yours. In my life, that would have been deliberate as hell but made to look like an accident. My STBXW went from begging me and crying for hours on the phone to move down with her to signing up for Facebook dating and staying the night with someone she met and ghosting me and the kids in the span of a month. Like I said, I can only project. Maybe, she only signed up to gage how much interest she would get if she does leave. The iss… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/25 04:02 AM |
| 5 | Feel destroyedTo me, it seems like Tinder was "accidentally" (more like on purpose) left open. She may be using your daughter to get to you. Using this to break you more. Dude, just stay strong. It will get better. I was in that rut, but you will be surprised whats on the other side. It just takes time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/25 03:44 AM |
| 3 | Stuck in a precarious position...Yeah, but its not going away. I've given in to everything she asked, (split 2025 tax refund, no alimony, paid for part of her rent twice so she didnt get kicked out, allowed her to not give anything for Xmas for the kids... so much more) and it just continues. Its always something else. Sometime, it just has to stop. And if we have to fight it out, then I guess I'll face the facts and go all out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/25 04:24 PM |
| 1 | Stuck in a precarious position...She wants me to file an IRS form 8332. IRS Form 8332, Release/Revocation of Release of Claim to Exemption for Child by Custodial Parent, is used by a custodial parent to allow the noncustodial parent to claim a child as a dependent for tax purposes. But, yeah, I dont think its right either way... | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/25 04:16 PM |
| 3 | Stuck in a precarious position...Problem is, if we move to trial, I lose the house and have to move the kids. I was trying to do this without that. May be no other option. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/25 03:54 PM |
| 2 | Stuck in a precarious position...The other consideration i had made was that she is paying a lot in child support and her cost of living is higher where she moved. So I was doing her a favor. I hate being nasty, ut it may be time to. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/25 03:45 PM |
| 1 | Stuck in a precarious position...If it was shared custody, id be fine with that. But it isn't. And I've given so much and asked for nothing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/25 03:32 PM |
| 3 | Stuck in a precarious position...Yeah, I did the stupid thing and tried to be nice thinking it would get me done sooner. But, now im in the situation that if she doesn't sign, we will have to sell the house and move. And if it comes to that, we go to court and im going scorched earth. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/25 03:25 PM |
| 3 | Stuck in a precarious position...Well, I kinda feel like it is. I have full entitlement to collect alimony and I refused it to save her some money. Since then, shes amended the tax return for 2025 so that we file joint again and she gets half the refund. Now she wants the kids till they are 18. The tax refund is essentially.half of her yearly child support. So I see it like a refund of that back to her. I just feel like if I keep making concessions and keep giving in to her on things, it will never end. A line has to be drawn s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/25 02:22 PM |
| 2 | Stuck in a precarious position...It was looking like it was gonna work out easily, but I guess not. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/25 01:28 PM |
| 5 | How do you start dating again?We have. She knows what im going through and she relates as she has been through it too. I just fear that its not just trauma bonding. But im enjoying the time. Its actually nice to be able to just talk to a woman and not be judged, interrupted, or told to get over it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/25 12:01 AM |
| 1 | What do I do with 1000’s of pictures of my STBXW on my phone?Thank you so much for this! I'd be having a great day and then here comes Google photos with a notification telling me to look at this thing I did 8 years ago and there she would be... This helps so much! | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/25 11:51 PM |
| 3 | How much weight did you lose after the divorceMy kid actually threatened me with having me committed because I told her im just not hungry. I eat 1 meal, usually lunch, then im done. She loves me and is extremely worried about me. Telling her that im just not hungry isnt enough! But im glad im not alone in this... | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/25 11:42 PM |
| 2 | Miss my wifeIm in the same boat. It does get easier. Try doing things you wouldnt normally do when you were with her. I used to go to concerts a lot when I was younger. Doing that again and planning to go to Sonic Temple 4 day music festival with my oldest daughter. Its tough but just get back out there and enjoy your life | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/25 11:38 PM |
| 1 | StatsStats are tough, but remember, you could always have ended up in the minority? I decided to make my kids my focus. They have changed drastically. Things seem so much lighter at home. I hear more laughter and fun than I have heard in years. Family of both mine and hers have told me the kids are like different people. Make them your strength. It only can do good. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/25 11:00 PM |
| 2 | Another bljnd sideThis advice is horrible. I lived in a home with a father that "stayed for the kids". The day I moved out to my first apartment, he filed for divorce. The tension living there was horrible. Eventually, I became a pawn in my mother's scheme to take as much from my father as possible and then leave him after she got enough saved and when they were long enough so he had to pay her half his social security. This will happen. I've lived with guilt seeing how much he gave up to "keep the home a home". … | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/25 10:51 PM |
| 11 | How do you start dating again?To my surprise, its kinda amazing how being single affects your life. Still working through the divorce, but I decided it was time to take off the wedding ring. I was always against this and would never remove it. It meant something to me. I work at many different job sites and a woman at one had stopped me.and said "I hope its ok that I ask, but I noticed that you are not wearing your ring. Is everything ok?" I broke down and told someone for the first time about what im dealing with. She ended… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/25 10:33 PM |
| 1 | Question from South CarolinaIm in the same boat. My wife and I are both on the deed, but the loan is in her name. Lawyer told me that if we go for disillusionment, she can keep the loan and I can pay the loan. She would file a quitclaim deed and remover her from the house deed. I would get it once its paid off or if its sold, I would get the proceeds. If we go to divorce, the house would have to be sold, loan paid and the remainder split 50/50. It's a difficult situation, but luckily my wife doesn't want the kids removed f… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/12/25 02:45 AM |
| 2 | Divorce Over: Dealing With The LonelinessLook at getting into board games? There are many that are so much more than monopoly and such. There are groups that will get together and play. And there are games for almost any genre... | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/12/25 02:38 AM |
| 2 | Allowing Children to Communicate with Narcissist Parent While They Are in Your CareIm in the process of disillusionment. I am getting full custody since she moved out and states away. Honestly, I dont say anything unkind about her. But my kids picked up on it. My older two are just disgusted with what she has done. My younger two are sad and dont understand. Just be the support they need. Kids are smart and can usually see thru the bullshit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/12/25 01:47 AM |
| 8 | Divorced, childfree men with a vasectomy: How has the "snip" changed your post-divorce dating life?Im not snipped, but certainly looking into it now. If I do find someone, I want there to be absolutely no risk at my age. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/12/25 12:49 AM |
| 4 | Recording conversationsIm not sure if this would count, but i saw somewhere that defeating the laws of a 2 party state is as easy as placing a sign on the front door stating that audio and video recording is taken on the premises. If you enter, you consent. Not sure if that is true, but maybe worth looking into. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/12/25 12:48 AM |
| 2 | To those still in love...Man, that feels better than anything else you could have said... I never thought it could be inspiring, mostly just getting my feelings out there. But I am truly.happy what I could help someone out there. It was a huge help finding this place, knowing there were people like me going through similar or worse. In society, men are often told not.to share their feelings and we all kinda get caught up in that. This place has been my therapy through all this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/25 04:40 PM |
| 2 | To those still in love...Yeah, it really does hurt. But I think the thing that got me more was how different I became because I was just focused on making her happy. Now that its started, I see myself much more relaxed and starting to actually smile. Yeah, I have my moments, but each day is brighter. At least I keep telling myself that. Im still in love, but I know that its best to let it fade away and work on myself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/25 04:37 PM |
| 3 | To those still in love...Thank you so much for the reassurance! | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/12/25 08:56 PM |
| 1 | To those still in love...Thank you so much for the kind words and I am sorry for your loss. I know that this pain won't last, but I know it won't ever truly go away. I've accepted that. But there are just moments where it hits so damn hard. Hang in there yourself and I hope that the future holds only good for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/12/25 07:31 PM |
| 2 | To those still in love...Ouch. I mean, I am very childlike because I play with the kids all the time. I joke and have fun with them and she never wanted to be a part of that. When she did, it was on her terms. There is nothing wrong with being childlike when you know also when to be an adult. And if you're able to handle all that, id say you can be both. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/12/25 06:43 PM |
| 6 | Hello & venting, etc...When I caught my wife cheating the first time, she actually had given me his number and had the audacity to have me pick her up from his house. I could smell it on her. I just knew. Found her chat with a friend that encouraged it talking about how I didn't know and all that. I never said anything to the spouse, but when I called him, I just asked if they were seeing each other. My wife wasn't giving me the answers I needed so I asked him. He said they had and his next question shocked me. He ask… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/12/25 05:55 PM |
| 3 | To those still in love...Thanks man, appreciate the kind words. Its hard to be strong for them, but I tell them over and over that I love them and I'll answer any questions I can. Im in that phase now, and its only been a few days. I lay in bed and barely sleep cause I keep replaying everything. Even her own family tells me I am.better off. But, I just cant help it after so long. I cry everytime I pack something of hers. Putting the Xmas tree up will be the hardest because all the ornaments are of moments in our family … | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/12/25 05:39 PM |
| 3 | To those still in love...And the thing is, I know thats true. But its still fresh and it feels worse that its most of my life gone because every memory has been with her. My kids are my rock right now. Its tough for them, and its hard to be strong and try to help them understand when I even have trouble doing so. But im there for them. I just want to be able to have a moment to myself thats not painful. I know they are there in the future, but it doesn't feel like it at times. Its a struggle but I appreciate your suppor… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/12/25 11:33 AM |
| 3 | To those still in love...I have been trying. They are my focus and everything. Just, when I get alone, I replay stuff in my mind and thats when it hurts most. I wrote out this long line of questions and things to get off my chest but came here instead with a shortened version. Safer here than to her. Thanks so much for the support! | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/12/25 11:13 AM |
| 3 | To those still in love...I appreciate it. Its still fresh, so it still hurts. Trying to change my mindset is so difficult but I've been trying. But sometimes it hust hits hardest. Thank you so much for your advice! | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/12/25 11:09 AM |
| 5 | My thoughts on Walk Away WivesMan this is nothing but truth. 27 years together, almost 20 married. She took a job 14 hours away and up and moved. Left me with the kids. All the bills behind cause they weren't getting paid. 34 bucks in the bank and the utilities due to be disconnected the next day We talked about getting back together. She begged me to join her. Then a few months later, she is seeing someone else and all that went away. She said to me that exact phrase. She just needed to find out who she is. Didn't matter th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/12/25 09:56 PM |
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