| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | Traits of a man with BDE (big dick energy)Sorry to bombard, but I found the link re FWB in FDS principles! I can't figure out to share the link, but if you go to FDS About, Wiki and then FDS Ideology it explains it there | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 07:45 PM |
| -9 | Traits of a man with BDE (big dick energy)I can see where you are coming from with this, but the circumstances in this situation were different in the sense that there was a caring relationship between us. Its also been discussed on the podcast that there can be circumstances where FWB can work between HV people 🤷🏼♀️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 07:40 PM |
| 1 | Traits of a man with BDE (big dick energy)That's not what I said at all. I'm not going to go into the ins and outs of how this came about because it's personal information. I'm confident that it was a mutual FWB situation which was extremely clearly communicated between both of us. What I'm asking you to clarify is: Is a person only HV if they are actively looking for a relationship? I can think of multiple circumstances where it is reasonable not to be actively seeking a relationship. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 07:32 PM |
| -23 | Traits of a man with BDE (big dick energy)Not necessarily. This makes it sound like a HVM is only HV if he is actively seeking a relationship, which I disagree with. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 07:21 PM |
| -2 | Traits of a man with BDE (big dick energy)I definitely disagree. I think HVM wouldn't routinely have FWB, but FWB can suit depending on the circumstances. Obviously I haven't went into detail about our mutual circumstances. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 07:01 PM |
| 0 | Traits of a man with BDE (big dick energy)💯 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 06:59 PM |
| 60 | Question about property after breakupThis isn't really a question of your rights, more about how to get rid of your ex. Your rights massively depend on the laws in your area, I do not think you should post those details on Reddit. But regardless of whether you have the rights, you can never win an argument with a narcissist. If you really don't care about the sofa, fine let him take it. However by giving in to his demands, this may encourage further demands. I think ignoring him is the best way forward. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 04:12 PM |
| 64 | Question about property after breakupINFO: How has he contacted you to make these demands? Will he know where your new home is? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 04:05 PM |
| 31 | How'd You Find FDS?I found this sub after my last serious relationship and I was navigating the dating scene. If I'm completely honest, I initially thought it wasn't a great space for me because most of the posts come from a negative mindset. It was confusing for me at first. I also didn't realise the Handbook existed. A while later, I stumbled across the Handbook and I remember thinking "yasssss" 🙌🏻 . But I was still confused by the overwhelmingly negative posts, so I was still cautious. I had an on-off relations… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 11:19 AM |
| 80 | So I got left a day before VDay but I am not the sad victim -- thanks to FDS!Yassssss 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 Your response in the moment is exactly what I'm aspiring for in myself!! In fact yesterday I made a post that I know I'm handling things well, but I didnt have the confidence to assert myself properly (although in hindsight, I've asserted myself properly through action). Listen, remember it's ok to have hurt feelings. You've handled this like a boss, you know exactly what you won't accept and acknowledged you haven't lost anything. Well done, take lots of lovely care of yourself … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/22 04:38 PM |
| 145 | Men will not compromise on their space and living arrangements just for being in a relationship. They can use the woman's place as their own when it suits them but not return the favour. Women who compromise for the men that don't, disrespect their own boundaries.I feel so heart-sorry for her. Women have been socialised to want a fairytale relationship - she is expecting him to rescue her, whether financially or emotionally. Men, on the other hand, have been trained to seek what is most convenient. How could our society allow such a disconnect?! I'm so grateful for FDS creating a reality check for women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/22 10:18 AM |
| 89 | Is anyone else slowly getting there with FDS boundaries?Yes! This is what I will do from now on! How does this work in practice? Something like: Him: "would you like to meet sometime?" Me: " what have you got in mind?" I know this might be a basic question, but it will me get it right from the beginning. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/22 04:34 PM |
| 21 | Is anyone else slowly getting there with FDS boundaries?Haha!! Its been sooo long since I've been to one, I can't wait! This time tomorrow I'll be counting bruises 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/22 04:27 PM |
| 78 | Is anyone else slowly getting there with FDS boundaries?Thank you! I'm really excited for my date tonight 😂 Ok I'll do it. I'll just block and delete. You're right that he knows he did wrong. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/22 04:25 PM |
| 88 | Is anyone else slowly getting there with FDS boundaries?Thanks! The good thing is that it felt very natural to say "no" and know in myself that I can't be convinced otherwise. It definitely is a learning curve, but it's a nice learning curve :) I also love your username! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/22 04:23 PM |
| 7 | The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 44 - Billie Eilish & How The Media Groomed A Generation of GirlsSavannah's laugh at the mention of the promotion of so-called "ethical porn" had me in stitches 🤣 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/22 03:03 PM |
| 8 | “You’re so Weird!”/“You’re quirky”I wouldn't use these words either. Maybe it's the type of people that I tend to hang out with, but usually I become friends with people who identity a bit as being a misfit. These types of people sometimes reclaim the words like weird, quirky, eccentric to mean something positive, because they know they are different and embrace it. I AM different. Its a waste of my energy to be upset over someone's choice of word when that they might be trying to say is "I come from a similar place as you". I t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 03:37 PM |
| 9 | “You’re so Weird!”/“You’re quirky”I also agree that it's incorrect for them to do so. Lots of people have poor self esteem and they tend to try and "reclaim" words like this to mean something which is positive in their eyes. "Weird" "strange" "quirky" "eccentric" are all words that I know people use to describe themselves. For example, someone who feels different or "weird" meets me and become curious because I also don't fit the typical mould. Because they've reclaimed the word to mean something positive or to have pride about,… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 03:28 PM |
| 21 | “You’re so Weird!”/“You’re quirky”I have mixed feelings about this. I'm not weird or quirky. I'm just not fucking basic. I have always had a very different lifestyle to other people, and I've never met anyone with a similar upbringing. I know I'm different. Therefore, when I used to get called "weird", "quirky", "eccentric", I rarely took it as a neg. Instead, I realised people struggled to articulate that I was different to them - their intention was rarely to hurt my feelings, but from a place of curiosity. On the other hand, … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 12:36 PM |
| 66 | Does anyone else want a long-term partner, but also doesn’t want to live with them?I also want this, so you aren't alone! As to how realistic it is... I'm not sure. But what I do know is the thought of living with someone again fills me with dread. I value independence, space, room to declutter. I'd consider living in a very big house with someone. I guess I feel so single right now and that's making me feel like this. I may change my mind if I meet someone. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 08:56 PM |
| 1 | Him making new numbers to text you after being blocked is harassment. My state says it's "not enough" to file a restraining order. I am not changing MY number bc a scrote won't listen to "no"I am NOT saying this is your fault. It is not. This is real life and we do not live in an ideal world where life is fair for women. It's shit that he's done this. It's shit that the burden is left on you to collect evidence. It's shit the people who are supposed to keep you safe refuse to do their job. This is one of the essential factors that FDS focusses on - maximising female benefit in a world that's designed against us. You need to think about what truly benefits YOU more. I commented to ma… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 06:53 AM |
| 4 | Him making new numbers to text you after being blocked is harassment. My state says it's "not enough" to file a restraining order. I am not changing MY number bc a scrote won't listen to "no"You are choosing to continue to be reactive than proactive. This man is more than a scrote. He is downright terrifying. Please reconsider your decision to change numbers. Please consider creating new social media. Google yourself. Reverse image search your most recent profile pictures. 192.com yourself. Make all the changes to your social media so that only friends see this. You need to cut off the supply. However, if you decide to continue what you are doing, DO NOT EVER REACT TO HIS BEHAVIOUR.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 12:42 AM |
| 6 | Fangirl moment for FDS!I used to LOVE reading Cosmo as well 😂 how embarrassing!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 12:23 AM |
| 28 | Has anyone seen this? It’s a doccie on the detrimental effects of porn on the mind & personal relationshipsThat's such a great documentary, thanks for sharing! I've suggested it be saved in the FDS Handbook under YouTube documentaries. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 07:55 PM |
| 1 | Submit your Handbook Recs!https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rwp3pe/has_anyone_seen_this_its_a_doccie_on_the/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share A documentary called Raised By Porn featuring the wonderful Gail Dines! Can this be considered for the FDS approved documentary section? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 07:53 PM |
| 13 | Fangirl moment for FDS!I love that too. Tough love can sometimes hurt, BUT it's been great to have my own morals and values toughened up! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 05:40 PM |
| 14 | How do you like your eggs: A vetting strategySometimes I think it's because they can't stand that I have a connection with someone else. Weirdly, most men get jealous of my brother. My brother is in the Armed Forces and has been very successful in his career. He's also much more likeable than others in the Armed Forces. They get very competitive and jealous and moody if I even have an enjoyable conversation with him. Its so strange. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 05:20 PM |
| 30 | How do you like your eggs: A vetting strategyI wear the same necklace everyday. My mum bought it for my 16th birthday, it means a lot to me, it's durable and it suits me. Every relationship I've been, the man has tried to replace my necklace with another, very ugly, gold necklace. And I had to fake liking these rubbish presents but I NEVER wore them. Which hurt their feelings and made ME the baddie. I still have a collection of ugly necklaces gathering dust. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 04:52 PM |
| 20 | Fangirl moment for FDS!It's definitely a weight off my shoulders. It's wonderful what a confident mindset can do. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 04:40 PM |
| 23 | Fangirl moment for FDS!Yesss 100%!! It feels so much simpler to see a red flag or even something that makes us incompatible. And it's a weight off my shoulders to no longer bear the responsibility of trying to make it work anyway. What was I thinking before?! 😂 Who even teaches us to "train" red flags out of men?! I feel so much more relaxed and happy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 04:39 PM |
| 51 | Fangirl moment for FDS!It can be easy to get swept up in the differences between subs, but I try to remind myself that I would instinctively choose a person who doesn't participate in Reddit. When I mention Reddit to people in my life, they get very surprised to know that I use it because I don't match the "typical" demographic. Reminding myself that Reddit isn't a big part of my real life takes a weight off my mind. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 01:30 PM |
| 61 | REMINDER: BDSM is more than a kink. It’s indicative of a man who gets off from abusing women. This poor woman found gore p*rn on her bf’s laptop and the comments are saying it’s just a harmless kink and that she’s overreacting for thinking he’ll harm her. I weep for this generation.This is such underrated logic! It's so OBVIOUS that if a man is aroused by violent porn, he enjoys the idea of women being abused. I've actually never heard of gore porn before. It sounds scary. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 04:03 PM |
| 12 | From all of us at FDS, we wish you happy holidays and have a wonderful new year!Thank you for all your hard work 💕 have a lovely Christmas and a happy new year x | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/21 09:03 PM |
| 117 | Should I reciprocate a gift?That's very nice and thoughtful that he got you a gift. It sounds like you have a bit of a 50/50 mindset though. Don't get him a gift to reciprocate. At the end of the day, your instinct told you not to get a gift for him and you should honour that. This isn't out of badness or selfishness, but that you didn't feel familiar enough to buy him a gift yet. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/21 01:56 PM |
| 13 | Should we try to discourage grown men from flying their red flags?I actually like these articles if they are well written. The articles you've described seem quite Buzzfeed-y which would attract an immature audience. Even if they followed all the steps in the article, your intuition could probably figure out they are following a formula and not being authentic. Well written articles and TV programmes have managed to articulate important messages to some of the men in my life. It served as a moment of self reflection followed by authentic change. I like that th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 10:32 PM |
| 82 | what happens when you initiafe contact even onceGood job you turned down the Netflix and Chill date 😂 this story is really a win! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 10:11 PM |
| 262 | what happens when you initiafe contact even onceI thought you wrote that you pegged him before the third date and thought to myself "yep, you've moved too fast there" 😂😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 10:06 PM |
| 3 | Any halfway decent Christmas films?I just watched Last Christmas with Emilia Clarke, I really enjoyed it! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/21 05:15 PM |
| 9 | Needle spiking in Australian clubs this past weekYep. They might be experts on the medical science, but not on human behaviours. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/21 10:00 PM |
| 55 | Needle spiking in Australian clubs this past weekJust to be clear about my post because I'm not sure if you think I'm insinuating that it's not a big deal. I definitely agree with you. There are enough reports with consistent descriptions that it's believable there have been attempts to spike people using needles. Just because the experts are saying that it's not an effective method of spiking someone doesn't mean that this isn't an assault and serious attempt at incapacitating someone. As a side note, there are more methods of spiking than is… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/21 04:02 PM |
| 171 | Needle spiking in Australian clubs this past weekI'm in the UK where this trend originated back in October. I've tried to follow up on this, but it's concerning how little information there is. From what I've read (a variety of sources), most experts and medical professionals are saying that it's unlikely to be an effective way to spike someone. There's been a variety of debates about what type of toxin could be effectively injected quickly and covertly - some toxins requires massive needles due to the thickness of the liquid, for example GBH.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/21 02:05 PM |
| 17 | This might be a controversial statement but I feel like a lot of western FDS users really don't understand the level of misogyny in the third world and what women HAVE TO DO to survive in our culturesI'm going to add another thing because this post has frustrated me. I understand it must be extremely frustrating that you are using a subreddit that you wish had more context aimed at you. You've flaired this post as a discussion, but let's face it, it's really a rant. This hasn't resulted in much of a constructive dialogue. OP, you've identified a gap in the FDS community. There are many situations that women cannot control. This content that you want to read needs to start coming from YOU. Th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/12/21 11:46 AM |
| 19 | This might be a controversial statement but I feel like a lot of western FDS users really don't understand the level of misogyny in the third world and what women HAVE TO DO to survive in our culturesI agree. All this post has achieved is an outpouring of Westernised guilt. Strategic content, advice, real-life examples will result in more awareness and may actually help women in these situations. It's more than welcome in this sub. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/12/21 10:56 AM |
| 31 | This might be a controversial statement but I feel like a lot of western FDS users really don't understand the level of misogyny in the third world and what women HAVE TO DO to survive in our culturesThis is a difficult one and I'm sure you may think I'm controversial for saying this but I don't agree. I use this sub everyday and I've not seen any posts or comments insinuating that women in oppressive countries or cultures are pickmes. There have been discussion around religious beliefs and how they primarily benefit men, and perhaps encouraging women to avoid this where possible. That's not the same as insinuating these women who are trapped are pickmes. This is a Westernised sub-reddit whi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/12/21 10:21 AM |
| 188 | How much do you expect your SO to spend on gifts for special occasions?For gifts, I have no expectations for money spent but I have very high expectations for the amount of thought and effort. I also expect them to choose gifts themselves without assistance from me. When I was in my early 20s, my boyfriend at the time decided that my birthday "present" was to take me shopping and let me choose a present. The things that I wanted (bath stuff, books, clothes) "weren't good enough" as he wanted me to find something expensive. He dragged me round shops, failing to find… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/21 07:58 PM |
| 29 | Love seeing men educating other men :)Hmmm... I understand the general message which is put much more thought into things. For me personally, I used to HATE getting flowers for this very reason... Finding a vase, finding a place for them, having a general tidy so that the flowers are in a nice place, trimming the ends.... I hated it. Now that I'm a fully formed adult, I LOVE getting flowers. I love the process of trimming the ends and finding a beautiful spot for them. For many men, it's the go-to gift which requires little thought.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/21 12:25 PM |
| 56 | general good advice about datingIt's something from the Handbook. Dating should be a fun and stress-free experience 🙂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/21 12:18 PM |
| 29 | When you follow your intuition but still question yourself / feel bad for enforcing boundariesEnforcing boundaries is similar to muscle memory when lifting weights. When you are inexperienced at lifting weights, your muscles are confused. They desperately want to get back to what's comfortable for them. That's why it feels so uncomfortable, painful and foreign. You are sore afterwards because your muscles aren't used to it. As you get more experienced at lifting weights, it starts to become second nature. It feels comfortable. You feel confident and no longer second guess your form. You … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/21 12:12 PM |
| 9 | The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 41 -Strategic Incompetence: Men Mysteriously Bad At All The Things They Want Women To DoWhat happened to your husband? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 06:33 PM |
| 3 | How often do you go on a date?I appreciate the honesty. I hope you don't mind me asking, but how come you participate in FDS if you don't date? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 05:44 PM |
| 5 | How often do you go on a date?I appreciate the honesty. I hope you don't mind me asking, but how come you participate in FDS if you don't date? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 05:44 PM |
| 5 | How often do you go on a date?It's really interesting to hear a different perspective and this is how I'm hoping my dating life will turn out! I've grown into an entirely different woman during the pandemic which means I need to update my dating strategy to reflect that. The advice about not letting myself be distracted is brill, I'll definitely be applying this! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 01:14 PM |
| 179 | How do you handle being approached by scrotes?Honestly, I don't tend to completely mind my own business. I'm usually very aware of my surroundings and can spot the potential approaches from a mile off. Resting bitch face combined with what I like to call the "terminator walk" prevents approaches. I'm also good at bluntly saying "NO. Not interested" before quickly walking off while they are still taken aback. I'm also not afraid of getting into a scrap if I have to, and I genuinely think this energy comes off which makes me less of a target. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 10:28 PM |
| 14 | How often do you go on a date?Why not? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 10:19 PM |
| 41 | How often do you go on a date?I'm quite a sociable person, but I don't drink anymore which has noticeably reduced my "options" i.e. my beer goggles 😂. I now spend more quality time socialising and I can visibly see LVM are too intimidated to approach me, which is honestly a great feeling! I also leave events earlier, so it reduces my overall socialising time. I've completely given up with OLD. I love my life but I do enjoy dating. I'm also really enjoying being so much more choosier than I was before! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 10:07 PM |
| 87 | How often do you go on a date?Cuffing season 😂 that's so true! I think I'm quite similar to you, the dates I've been on tend to be spring or summer. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 09:57 PM |
| 76 | How often do you go on a date?I've had a date that had a similar effect on me. The guy I met had the most unattractive, stompy walk. He walked like Fred Flintstone in a bad mood. It was the first time I had the confidence to not see someone again over something "superficial", and feel zero guilt over my decision. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 09:50 PM |
| 8 | Help! Any tips for dealing with interfering colleagues?This is such a good idea! I'm loving hearing all these different types of grey rock methods. I think grey rock is the best way to deal with this, but still in a chatty and friendly way! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/12/21 05:54 PM |
| 154 | Sometimes men of all classes just don’t listenHe is a gross LVM. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/12/21 05:49 PM |
| 8 | Sometimes men of all classes just don’t listenOk I can see your point. Now that I've thought about it I've realised a lot of his more eccentric behaviour coincided with his poor mental health, so the grandiose gestures could have been the result of his condition. I think it's an important discussion for FDS. It's still a valid reason for Kim K not to want that relationship anymore, while not inadvertently stigmatising him for his mental health condition. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/12/21 05:03 PM |
| 10 | Help! Any tips for dealing with interfering colleagues?This is so so helpful, thank you for sharing! I would find this situation easier to manage if I have a "go-to" response! I love the idea of being a super friendly grey rock 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/12/21 04:30 PM |
| 7 | Help! Any tips for dealing with interfering colleagues?I agree - unfortunately the diagnostic process where I live means it is unlikely to be diagnosed anytime soon. I've managed to maintain a career and live independently and maintain relationships (and I am also female) so it means from a medical point of view there is less of a priority to diagnose and treat. I'm getting some help from a mental health professional who thinks it's ADHD which is something. In the meantime it would be helpful to hear other women's ideas/stock responses etc so I can … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/12/21 04:07 PM |
| 42 | Sometimes men of all classes just don’t listenI don't think his mental health had been brought into this discussion at all. I've edited this because on reflection, Kanye is well known for having bipolar disorder which has caused eccentric and grandiose behaviour. I don't think anyone has been deliberately flippant about it in this thread, but it's a factor which has been overlooked. I still agree that all women should be wary of men who enjoy the publicity from a public display of affection. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/12/21 04:00 PM |
| 15 | Help! Any tips for dealing with interfering colleagues?I definitely am the friendly type so I will definitely try and push it back onto them. That's a great suggestion, thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/12/21 03:41 PM |
| 634 | Sometimes men of all classes just don’t listenIt's the show off mentality. Kanye had Kim K on his arm like a decoration. The public displays of affection weren't for her. They were to validate his own ego. Be very wary of men obsessed with public displays of affection. They want the adoration of the crowd, not the adoration of the woman. I've edited this to remove the suggestion that Kanye only had Kim K on his arm like a decoration. He's well known for having bipolar disorder and it's possible this caused his grand gestures. My other comme… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/12/21 03:36 PM |
| 2 | A first year of not downloading Tinder out of boredom and depressionIt's the lowest of the low value men there. I forgot about the men who insult! Of the ones who actually messaged me, most of the "mistakenly" called me by the wrong name 🙄 Unmatch! It's such a waste of time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/21 09:29 AM |
| 6 | A first year of not downloading Tinder out of boredom and depressionCongratulations! That is an excellent level up achievement 🙌🏻 You've inspired me. Hopefully this time next year, I will be posting something similar. I've not drank for 5 months, and even before that I rarely drank. It had been about 5 months with no online dating, but I caved about a month ago because I rarely go out places where I may meet men. I'm so strict with the bare minimum and my own standards that I rarely matched with anyone... And anyone I matched with didn't message me first... So I… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/21 09:48 PM |
| 22 | I need advice about workplace sexual harassmentI agree with everything above, particularly what to write in an email. I'm throwing in my experience of NOT speaking up - management cannot help you if they do not know what's going on. This is escalating. If you do not report now, it will get worse. By the time you report, they will be wondering why you did not report this sooner. This is a defence for him - "if I was grabbing her inappropriately, why didn't she report me at the time? She's just got it in for me!" Trust me. Report it now. Your … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/21 11:00 AM |
| 113 | Don't Make My Mistake: Giving Men You Were Friends with the "benefit of the doubt" and not doing the necessary vettingI'm going to take this one step further - don't ever give ANY man the benefit of the doubt! the man you are dating the colleague who gives you a bad vibe the boss who is overly critical the friend who gently pushes your boundary the random on the street who seems weird There is only one person who benefits from the benefit of the doubt, and it ain't you! Let the "doubt" be your best friend in making any decisions. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/11/21 07:03 PM |
| 84 | Men will do anything for sex (except actually put in effort): A refresher course on the DENNIS systemI've never understood why people think that show is brilliant, I could never get into it. This is the first time I've heard of DENNIS. It's awful and the worst part is that sooooo many scrotes who worship this show will inevitably follow this system 🤢 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/11/21 01:12 PM |
| 14 | Situational awareness, defensive communication skills and domestic self-defence.I'm glad it helped. The last thing you want is to be fumbling about with a weapon. Try to focus on your strengths - maybe it's situational awareness and you can quickly walk away before the situation escalates. Maybe your communication skills allow you to defuse situations quickly. Maybe you're a great runner and can rely on running away. Maybe you can switch from being lovely to scary which freaks people out. Find at least one area that you can rely on and keep practicing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/21 10:56 AM |
| 33 | Situational awareness, defensive communication skills and domestic self-defence.The police are shocking. Yes, it's hilarious that you had to use a protective device against your own husband, har-de-har 🙄 These devices need to be tested before use, but how can you test them unless it's needed? You would need a very willing volunteer! Or test it on yourself... 😬 It's definitely time for much more emphasis on domestic self defence. How to use self defence against a person that is supposed to care for you. I think it benefits the manosphere to focus on stranger-danger self defe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/21 10:51 AM |
| 14 | Good news for the U.K. : Violent crime against women gets the same status as terrorist attacksI'm interested to see how this plays out. I can only see the first few paragraphs of the article which makes it sound like the focus will be on sexual violence rather than violence in general. I personally think the police are being made scapegoats of the low rape conviction rates. For a conviction, someone has to be proven of committing the crime beyond reasonable doubt. Sometimes there just isn't the evidence, particularly for he-said, she-said. I'm not defending the police as I do believe the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/21 09:51 PM |
| 13 | A man disclosing his mental health/therapy habits early on is an absolute red flagNothing to be sorry for at all. You asked a genuine and well thought out question. The responses show that there are conflicting views on this, and this post is hopefully enlightening lots of women. A few people have suggested that men use mental health as a manipulation tool. I've certainly fell for it in the past, as have most women. I think this already started to work on you, and I'll explain what I mean. You recognised quickly that he shared too much, and you were savvy enough not to contin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/11/21 09:22 PM |
| 76 | A man disclosing his mental health/therapy habits early on is an absolute red flagYou've worded this perfectly. This red flag has the potential to spiral to looking like stigmatising men who go for therapy, but that's not the issue at all. The issue is simply having the ability to maintain appropriate boundaries with strangers regarding personal information. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/11/21 08:18 PM |
| 29 | A man disclosing his mental health/therapy habits early on is an absolute red flagIt makes me think that he probably spent most of the first date bursting to bring up therapy. It's clearly heavily on his mind if he's bringing it up so early. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/11/21 07:59 PM |
| 89 | A man disclosing his mental health/therapy habits early on is an absolute red flagThank you for posting this. I was concerned at some of the responses indicating they thought him disclosing therapy in the early stages was a green flag. The vast vast vast VAST majority of women on this sub are self-aware and emotionally intelligent. Otherwise they wouldn't be here. Therapy is likely to be extremely effective for women like us. One of the concerning comments I saw mentioned that as they go to therapy themesleves, they see it as a green flag that a man goes for therapy. The mist… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/11/21 07:37 PM |
| 61 | What do you think about a man opening up and telling you he goes to therapy on the second date?The fact you've had to ask whether it's a red flag should make this glaringly obvious. Never ignore your instinct! I think there's a danger of being too "woke" about this issue. Yes, therapy is great. Yes, it's amazing that more people realise this. Yes, it's great he is self aware and taking care of himself. That doesn't mean this isn't a red flag. It's only the second date. It's very personal information. If another women was on this date and they weren't FDS savvy, I bet they would have probe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/11/21 04:27 PM |
| 5 | Telling women to “just communicate” with their uncaring, oblivious, self centered partners is the advice equivalent of asking, “Have you tried turning off and back on again?”I agree with the sentiment, but the analogy doesn't work. As someone who regularly helps my colleagues with computer issues it is SO frustrating when they haven't even tried turning it off and on again 😂 which is pretty much a guarantee to fix the computer problem!! Sometimes I reflect back on the times I cOMmUnIcAtEd and cringe! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/11/21 03:19 PM |
| 17 | Y’all do not be hating LVM enough for me.I report the low effort posts of screenshots that don't add much to the dialogue. FDS rules state there should be no low effort posts, but the mods need a bit of help from the user base to highlight these posts as they come up. I've noticed they get removed quickly after reporting, so the mods are clearly very quick to respond which is brilliant. It stops this sub getting diluted with unhelpful, low effort posts. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/11/21 10:58 AM |
| 44 | "Oh yeah, you want a man who brushes his teeth? I dated a guy who brushed his teeth and he kicked puppies for breakfast!"The most common one I get is when someone suggests I date a guy who lives with their parents. I'm not judgemental of people who live with their parents. I've had to move back in with my parents as an adult on two occasions. However, that doesn't mean I want to DATE someone who lives with their parents. The reactions start to unravel: Oh but he's had a difficult year and had to move in with his parents! Give him a chance, he deserves it! (Okayyyy, but is that really what I deserve? I think not!) … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/21 07:33 PM |
| 27 | Prime example that having money does not automatically make you a HVM! Beware of ‘godly men’ queens.Negging. "She chews so loudly but benefits me in other ways so it doesn't matter". Why publicly state that about someone you love? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/21 12:14 PM |
| 38 | Periodic reminder that you can't "make" someone HVI think this is such an important post. There's a misconception that FDS is about "training" or "tricking" a man into being a desirable partner. That logic comes from people who are so used to hearing male pick up strategies, which DO use manipulation techniques against women. We are not interested in training men. We are not interested in tricking men. We are interested in living fulfilling, successful lives with limited interactions with users and abusers and man-babies. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/21 04:19 PM |
| 5 | Bikini waxing?Everyone's hair growth is different so I don't think there can be a universal rule that says removing hair growth is internalised misogyny. I used to have extremely coarse, bushy hair and I hated it. It was very difficult to remove, grew back quickly, caused painful ingrown hairs, and I was so self-conscious of it. I'm very hygienic, but I definitely noticed that the coarse hair retained a "musk" smell that made me uncomfortable. I started to get laser hair removal. I had ten sessions before I s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/21 12:21 PM |
| 64 | The Aftermath of Pickmeisha SyndromeI'm commenting because I have been through something similar and can relate to everything you have written. I don't really have advice, but I hope this helps! I had a friendship that ended after 16 years. We had been a group of three - one of the three just couldn't let go of her negative childhood. She had a history of having pointless relationships with men she didn't even like, they were just convenient. She had problems with her family. It affected her mental health. She started smoking weed… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/10/21 05:22 PM |
| 1 | Gail Dines outing the libfems - we should make her talks popular to wake up our sistersI love her. She is so articulate and speaks in a way that makes it easy to absorb the information. She was fantastic on the podcast! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/21 09:07 PM |
| 49 | Miya Marcano: Another woman missing at the hands of a manThis is really sad and scary, and it hits home for me. For over a year, I have struggled with being harassed by an older maintenance man who works in the same office building as me. I'm essentially a lone worker because of the pandemic - most of my colleagues work from home. This has given him plenty of opportunity to harass me. There are so few people around that there is no social deterrent, and worst of all, I have very few witnesses. He hasn't touched me or spoke to me. But he stares at me l… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/21 10:23 AM |
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