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blindedbythebrights Archive

View 10 posts and 182 comments by blindedbythebrights on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

So what should I think when a man hugs his grown-up daughter?
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/18 02:13 PM
1

Not having sex twice a day is one thing, but no touching/kissing/etc is another. You do not have to be sexually aroused to want to hug or kiss your partner, you do it out of love and affection, not lust. We hug our friends, we touch our babies to comfort them. In a healthy marriage, all aspects of love should not depend solely on your husband's lust for you. There should be a deeper connection that will last over time, as you both age and the wife becomes less sexually attractive. I know that th…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/18 10:40 AM
1

But then I don’t understand what it is that you are looking for advice for? Of course I get that trying to have a good career and being vibrant and present whilst also doing housework at home can get really difficult because one person only has so much time and energy, but that’s pretty logical. Maybe I misinterpreted the intention of your post or the specific advice you’re looking for, but what I was trying to say is that cutting yourself some slack here and there is perfectly acceptable and so…
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/18 09:07 PM
1

My boyfriend and me both work in academia, and somehow, I don't think it makes "being" RPW harder. Working hard can make you more tired and have less energy left for your loved one. However, I don't think that it should change your mindset. Let me explain: Constant exposure to high SMV men This is only a problem if you think that your SO somehow has lower value. While I understand that this will raise the bar in terms of expectations, you should also understand your interaction with them: they a…
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/18 02:32 PM
1

To me, it sounds like you don't actually have a problem with your SO's hobby in itself - you admire this, support him and know how important it is to you. It does sound like you're worried about the amounts of time and energy that go into biking vs. into you. I don't recommend demanding more attention and quality time because that could sound a little entitled, but maybe sitting him down and telling him how much you enjoy spending time with the two of you and that you maybe even miss him a littl…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/18 09:27 AM
1

they are being systematically oppressed and forced into the submissive roles in society due the fallacy that masculinity equates automatically to violent sexual deviance. Who are being systematically oppressed? This sentence is very unclear. Also, who says masculinity equates violent sexual deviance? Can you back that up? I think you could build a much better argument if you would go check the RP page for references. Especially if you're going to piss off your professor, you better have a sound …
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/18 03:01 PM
2

The danger with this method is that, if he already kind of knows sex is on the low lately, he can feel pressured and will either have sex with you (and you’ll wonder if he’s doing it because he doesn’t want to disappoint) or not have sex, which would leave you feeling rejected and hurt. Especially if you’re not subtle about it.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/18 08:20 PM
1

Reading this comment I think it shows that you already know what to do. Focus on yourself. Get back in the game, get fit and don’t allow yourself to wallow any longer. Write down the bad stuff and read it when you’re feeling nostalgic again. On a deeper level, it’s possible that you crave other people’s validation to feel okay about yourself and the fact that he didn’t give you that fully (sometimes he did, others he didn’t) is what’s really bothering you. You need to learn to get over that, or …
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/18 08:15 PM
2

I work with my so and it’s fine. We have our own projects, but I enjoy being close to him and being able to drop by or take lunch breaks together. We also like that we totally understand one another when we talk about work stuff or colleagues etc. I guess it depends on how you interact in your relationship and how closely you’ll have to work together. For example, I think working on the exact same task together would become more difficult, but for the rest it’s a really positive experience for m…
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/17 12:27 AM
1

I was wondering, what's a water fast?
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/17 10:20 AM
1

My boyfriend and I had some rough weeks that left us more in a "buddy"/comfort seeking dynamic than an especially romantic one. Luckily, we're leaving on a trip together soon. I've never travelled so far and it's all going to be pretty chaotic. How do I make sure that this will be a nice and romantic experience? Second question: where can I improve on health-wise? Thank you so much for doing this! Again, I'm really excited!
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/17 04:09 PM
8

How some people panic about "the wall", and the focus on material success of men. I mean, sure, it's a hard reality that women become less attractive with age and there's no denying that. You will get more chances if you look pretty. But smart (so imo high value) men will be intelligent enough to distinguish between pretty women with bad characters, and place more weight on finding okay looks with excellent character. In my honest opinion, if a man only values your appearance, the relationship i…
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/17 04:27 PM
1

Me before you
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/17 04:30 PM
1

Keep going with the weight loss, you will feel better, regardless of your body type! All shapes look better at a healthy weight. Also, here are some pointers style wise: as an apple, you can show off your legs in so many ways! Personally, I think you can wear really modern and young things with your body type: short little dresses (maybe looser swing dresses, but short enough so that they stay flirty by showing leg), skirts, skinny jeans, ... You can pare them with heels for extra va va voom! An…
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/17 05:21 PM
2

Even though I agree that she's not behaving as your friend right now, I also believe in moments of weakness and second chances of a friendship is very important to you. If you decide to give her a second chance because you don't want to lose your friend, tell her these things and how they make you feel in no uncertain terms. Friends are supposed to be happy for you and accept you and your decisions, not drag you down, even when they're having a hard time themselves. It will be a hard conversatio…
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/17 08:43 AM
3

Being disappointed in your past self only shows how much you've grown since then. Welcome back!
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/17 07:22 AM
1

Ahh, I experience the same issues. My libido is exceptionally high, and my SO's libido is more "normal" + easily influenced by stress etc. I also find that overtly asking for sex or initiating sexual activity (like popping up in lingerie or as someone suggested starting to masturbate) is not the solution. It puts you in the "chasing" position, and even when you're successful, you'll be left wondering if he really wanted to have sex with you, or if he didn't want to let you down. In all of these …
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/17 07:28 AM
1

I see. But maybe he's physically just not built to be in the passive position. It's not your fault that his penis is curved. Try not to let his comments (that are solely intended to get to you) get to you. You've obviously tried to solve it in many ways already, but he is not being constructive at all. How is he adapting to you and your body? How is it somehow your "fault" and only your problem to fix? Why is he not patient? There are so many other positions, so it's not like you're refusing sex…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/17 05:32 AM
1

Try something other than "riding him". Also; amazing that he hasn't thought of that or solved the problem by now by trying other things (him on top/...) His attitude doesn't sound very sexy or even nice and he sounds lazy tbh
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/17 07:46 PM
1

I was taking the train with a big piece of luggage and upon embarking (the train has a little step which is pretty high), a man asked me if I could use any help with my bag. I let him help me, but he blushed and even seemed ashamed, avoiding eye contact and walking away quickly after it was done. I barely had the chance to say thanks. It makes me sad that men and women are so aggressively taught that women have to be independent and that asking to help a woman is almost associated with belittlin…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/17 11:26 AM
1

Thanks! It's really sweet of you to make the time to do this for everyone. For the health part (some acne and often sleeping problems), I've been trying out many things, but nothing really works. But I'm hoping it will change for the better when we've moved to a quieter area. Worrying less will be helpful anyhow :) After the move, I'll make sure to watch out if an older lady approaches us! And it's good to know that I'll have my partner to lean on. We're moving together and he is the best <3
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/17 07:22 AM
1

Oh, me too! What can I do to improve my health? And I am making some big changes (moving to a house in the suburbs) in September, how will they influence me?
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/17 06:23 AM
1

That I don't have to prove myself in the same way men do. And that men actually want to be needed and take care of you. It makes my life so much relaxed and the men around me visibly happier.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/17 04:59 PM
1

I agree on what the other commenters say here, however, my SO does notice the colour on my nails/my dress/... I just wanted to point out that you can still take his opinion into account without overburdening him with all your little decisions. For example, he once noted that he really liked dark blue nail polish, so I wear it a little more often, and he likes that. Same goes for dresses: if he compliments you on a specific dress, consider wearing it more often!
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/17 09:46 AM
2

It doesn't affect the dynamic, but it makes it harder to find someone
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/17 07:19 AM
1

You're welcome! Also, maybe, if he hasn't thought about it at all, it can even be about him exclusively, so he has more space in the conversation, and there are not conflicts in the air :) I have a boyfriend with some similar traits, and if he feels safe, he can just think out loud.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/17 05:19 PM
3

You can only control so much. Just remember that anxiety or panic is not attractive at all (also not necessary in your case imo) and makes people do things they regret later on.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/17 05:14 PM
2

Can you somehow tell him about how you vented to her, without including the part where she said bad things about him? That seems the best thing to do to me.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/17 05:12 PM
2

Point number one: let her tell him how she feels about him when she feels like it, that is not your responsibility. or concern, especially with their turbulent relationship Number two: harsh, but true: you did this to him first. Suck it up and at least you know how easily the sister is flipped to one of two sides. Number three: you can vaguely tell him about how you went to her with the problems you were having with him in the past, and that maybe she's upset with you, now that she's hearing his…
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/17 01:26 PM
2

I think you accidentally put a lot of pressure on the question by making it something "you eventually need an answer for" instead of just chatting about it. "It's just been so long since I've lived with anyone. I don't really know." --> This was a perfect opening for you to ask about what aspects he didn't like about living with other people, and propose hypothetical solutions for those problems. Or let him tell you about what it is he likes about living alone now, so you can soak up that inform…
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/17 01:15 PM
7

The best advice I've ever gotten is to make decisions based on love, not fear. You seem really scared of getting older, losing your beauty and ending up all alone. Let me tell you: you will get older anyways, it's just a fact of life you have to come to terms with. When beauty fades, your personality stays. It seems like you're in a good relationship with a man who listens to you. Don't drive him away with your fears. You don't want him to get married to you "because he had to". He will feel tri…
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/17 12:52 PM
2

It sucks, but if she has developed deep trust issues, no one can help her sort those out but herself. Pushing her to start dating/think about attracting men will likely result in a form of self-sabotage in interactions in the next relationship. I think the best thing to do is to give her the time to heal and gather the courage to truly try again. You'll probably notice when that happens, and that will be the time where rpw comes in handy.
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/17 06:18 PM
12

I see him defer to them all the time, and I'm not sure how to have that discussion tactfully and respectfully. Why would you have to have a discussion around it? It's his family, with their own traditions and way of doing things. If he's not bothered with it, why would you want to meddle in? Honestly, it seems like you are having more trouble with the differences between them and you than the other way around. Try to just let them be and stay in your own lane. No one is hurting you, so don't sta…
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/17 10:41 AM
3

Worked from home yesterday and took the opportunity to go do groceries and clean around the house as a lunch break. I worked a bit faster than usual to stop 30 mins sooner, splashed some water on my face, put on some nice music and started cooking. The nice music and the fact that I'd given myself the time to get everything done on a comfortable pace made me really happy. By the time my bf came home, everything was already on the stove and under control. He commented on how nice it was to come h…
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/17 09:01 AM
1

Yes! She was very obnoxious at the party and my bf said he can't believe she had changed so much and that "it seems that the best thing about her was him". We won't be seeing her anymore since she misbehaved so badly. Also he thanked me for being so nice, calm and gentle Win!
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/17 11:15 AM
1

It's been a while, but here's a little update! In the end, we didn't go to the party. Another couple (with his best friend) couldn't make it and my BF said he was sure it wouldn't be fun to go. The ex's new boyfriend was indeed very temporary, only he dumped her. Very crudely put; I kind of expected that to happen, since I had the impression that he was out of her league. While they were together, I also think she didn't realize that my BF had grown way out of her league, and just started to ove…
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/17 07:34 AM
2

And you have the strength in you to deal with it. Look at you, you're still standing after all that scary stuff! Even more, you're getting better!
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/17 07:34 PM
7

Whenever I have luggage or extra bags and my boyfriend is with me, he always carries them for me. I love it, and I can tell that it makes him feel manly. The other day I had to borrow a wheelchair in IKEA (broken foot and we didn't want the hassle of crutches) and he rolled me around the whole store. He even said that he liked the type of interaction we had, because he clearly felt that we were close to each other and how much he could help me and that I needed him. To me, it demonstrated how he…
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/17 06:25 PM
5

Keep taking care of yourself, you seem to be well on your way. To my opinion, when you meet a man and see potential, you can mention your past, but without going into detail. Even when in an relationship, don't make the mistake of slacking in self-care, now you now that you need some extra. Make it your responsibility first, not his. He will probably want to support you, but you'll need to have figured out how and together decide what he can do and when, and when you need some space. Everyone is…
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/17 06:11 PM
3

This is so true. It puts me in an awkward position towards a lot of my friends and my (fat but self-accepting) sister. With my sister, I can never do anything right as long as my choices are not the "preferred feminist" ones, even though explicitly, I can choose whatever I want! I think being in a good relationship and putting that first makes me happy, she raves on about how a career is more important and openly told me how I should be careful (even though I have always had a better academic re…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/17 09:30 AM
16

Maybe try wearing feminine things outside of work? In my clinical practice as a psychologist I also tone it down, since I also see male patients. My whole life doesn't revolve around work, though. I wear different things in the weekend or try to change into something else when I go out at night
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/17 02:19 PM
2

I think you can do both and stay sane, depending on your husband and your own standards. Right now, my partner is also doing a PhD, so we both have a job that's demanding, but sometimes flexible. As we have the same job and income, we split up the household sort of symmetrically and we have a housekeeper who visits every two weeks. When work is busier for me, he steps up, when it's tougher on him, I step up. When we're both on a peak (could also be with other activities like friends/hobbies), th…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/17 10:02 AM
1

I would like to add to this discussion by sharing my own point of view. I have cohabited with a previous partner and for me, that was an eye-opener and a blessing: living apart, we were amazing together, but our lifestyles and priorities were simply too different to ever be combined in one household. Without going in to detail; if I had to find out how incompatible we were after we were married (and how he coped), I would now probably be a very unhappily married wife. Instead, I left, rented my …
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/17 09:17 AM
16

Sex 8 times the past 3 days, yet you think he's not that sexually attracted to you? Maybe the issue is not so much attraction or alpha/beta, but that you're into more kinky sex and your boyfriend is not.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/17 10:26 AM
3

I can relate. Also INFJ, and I would feel helpless too. But, to put it harshly: sometimes life sucks, and you can't fix that for him. So take care of yourself and your children the best you can, stay responsive to him, and that's all you can do. He will be sad. It is sad. But the last thing he would need is having to worry about your wellbeing too. Lots of courage to you and a big hug.
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/17 07:13 PM
3

Did not develop these skills after RPW, but learned to value them more: Empathy. Developed this skill in my psych MSc, and I would say the ability to give your full attention, listen and make others feel accepted and understood is the most powerful "feminine" skill you can have. I'm a picky eater, that helped me grow into an intuitive cook :) I know how to combine spices and flavours and can estimate how things will turn out, so I never use recipes and can just invent what I feel like having (or…
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/17 03:34 PM
2

That's really sucky of your ex to do! Don't believe him, he was probably just trying to hurt you or make you feel ashamed because he felt less of a man for not being able to satisfy you.
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/17 08:39 AM
8

Knows what he wants and how to get it. Has a plan. Takes responsibility. Makes internal instead of external attributions. Protective of what he loves and/or deems important.
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/17 07:45 PM
1

Ahh, love this idea!
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/17 09:18 AM
1

Ugh, I can relate! I even made a huge fuss in my head (and on RPW, hehe) over him giving me a compliment. I just generally feel like I have nothing to complain about and everything is good and yet, I'm kind of negative lately. For me, I think I'm not used to everything going so well, and that actually leaves me uncomfortable and/or bored. I need to always be fixing or improving something. Maybe try to draw your attention away from yourself and see if you can help someone else or maybe get into s…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/17 09:15 AM
2

What's your damage?
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/17 03:51 PM
1

Try to embrace what makes you you! I'm from the opposite side, rather petite, and I always (and secretly sometimes still) wished I would be a little taller, so I could pull off va-va-voom "sexy" for a change, without always having a side of "cute"!
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/17 09:49 AM
2

If that works for the both of you (also financially), why not? A lot of other women probably feel like it's unfair; since they have to suffer, you have to suffer, too.
/r/RedPillWives01/03/17 08:12 AM
3

That is true, but a warm, loving man and solid relationship is the reward you get in return. But it IS true that our society won't give you an award for having a nice home, but will reward you with status for career-related accomplishments. That's just the downside of our capitalistic system, I suppose. I try to see my role in my boyfriend's happiness as the reward. Just try not to go "keeping scores" in your relationship, using your journal as some kind of weapon. I'm sure he does stuff for you…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/17 07:55 AM
1

Thanks for the replies, I knew I was probably going overboard while writing, but I needed to hear your reassurance anyway! A little update: we had been training for a distance run, something way out of my comfort zone, but the parcours itself turned out to be filled with obstacles. It was a trail run, with hills, mud, sometimes no path to run on, ... through the woods. BF seems to have stained his knee in the process and he told me yesterday that I had surprised him, because it was so much harde…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/17 07:52 AM
15

Many of women's jobs go unnoticed or unappreciated. That's why feminists refuse to do them. They don't want a thankless job. This needed to be stated explicitly for me to truly understand. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/17 03:08 PM
16

Hahaha, thanks, I needed to hear that! :D
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/17 01:32 PM
18

Even though progress is always good, I don't feel comfortable with reading that you're putting yourself in physical danger, no matter the cause. Also, the knowledge that pavor nocturnus is a very very rare condition in adults and that you seem to be somehow influencing the incidence of episodes, makes me feel worried. Even though stress influences the frequency with which (normally rarely violent) episodes occur, your FR reads as if you see yourself as their cause. That's not right. Has he seen …
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/17 10:50 AM
3

I live with my boyfriend and I experience the same problems, except that he overexerts himself even outside of his demanding job, by writing music, being in a band, constantly doing chores, ... He never sits still, and when he does, he wants to do something completely mind-numbing like chill in the bath tub by himself, watching a re-run of HIMYM or just browse on his phone. Here's my strategy: when I'm tired or feeling needy myself, I try to find a way to take care of myself first, by taking som…
/r/RedPillWives24/02/17 02:17 PM
6

I love winged eyeliner, and on occasion a nice red lip or the more brown-ish smokey eye! Fashion-wise, I'm so happy with the pastels!
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/17 07:30 PM
3

Where we live, Valentine's day is commercially advertised for, but not yet part of the standard traditions, so it's up to every couple to decide if they participate or not. We briefly discussed it and agreed not to do anything, but I couldn't help myself and spread funny notes all over the house for him to wake up to in the morning and hid a card for him at his office to find. However, he didn't get me anything, and I was a bit distraught by that, even though we agreed on not doing Valentine's d…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/17 06:57 PM
2

Oh congratulations!
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/17 06:53 PM
1

Listen to what he says. He doesn't feel that way about you anymore. Also, a warning: in June you might want to prove to him that you guys still "spark" and spend time with him and sleep with him, only to find yourself dumped afterwards. Don't do it. Protect yourself. He's telling you the truth.
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/17 09:07 AM
23

I think this is a very real problem that is underadressed here because of the taboo on female sexuality and sex drive. Unfortunately, I don't have a solution for you. Except to keep dating and until you find someone worthy of sharing yourself with and is committed to you and respects you, trying to find comfort in do-it-yourself-solutions?
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/17 08:41 AM
1

I think it's possible, but a wise woman would go for someone that she doesn't feel she needs to "work on". If she does, though, it's probably because she feels like she's making a wise investment and your SMV/RMV could potentially be higher than hers, but you'd be "hers", as it will be her merit.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/17 06:25 PM
2

Well, it seems that I misunderstood what you were saying and that we're both of the same opinion, then! Thanks for distinguishing between objective/subjective RMV and elaborating. And I try to be wise ;)
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/17 08:55 PM
2

I agree. Physical caressing and love is just a vital element of every healthy relationship. But I think the idea of karezza is taking that to an extreme as a sort of "art" in itself.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/17 02:17 PM
5

The concept reminds me of my understanding Tantra and its sexual practices. My boyfriend and I make a distinction between "making love" and "having sex", I think the description of karezza fits the former.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/17 09:45 AM
4

I agree with most of what you wrote, however, I don't agree with it 100% However, the longer he's in a relationship, the less RMV he will naturally have. (Naturally is a key word here). Men may be the gatekeepers of relationships, but just like the fading natural physical beauty of women lessens their sexual value, so to does the natural decline in a mans relationship qualities diminish his RMV. Every time he gets frustrated, nervous or angry, he loses some of the quality of "stability". His wif…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/17 09:41 AM
3

I'm in! I have a wonderful relationship, but caught myself being overly negative the last couple of days, so starting off with focussing on being fun is just perfect.
/r/RedPillWives31/01/17 09:02 AM
1

I would like to add that even when you want to vent about a problem, you can still discuss it with friends, as long as your thoughts are loving and your words come from a place of caring and love. Badmouthing usually comes from a place of wanting to be right and winning some argument, which will get you nothing but more distance in the long run. It's not what you're discussing, but the way you see it and how you think about it.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/17 11:36 AM
2

Go check blogs! I'm surrounded by women who have other priorities than me, but one important thing I learned is that in your mind, you set the norm by comparing yourself to those around you. So checking blogs from cool, pretty moms regularly can maybe inspire you + motivate you over time, as you start to keep them in the back of your head while making decisions.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/17 11:29 AM
6

Wow, I needed this so much! I've been having a hard time lately, with keeping everything perfect and burst into tears just yesterday because it's all too much, but I can't seem to let anything go. I've been working very hard and finally have a good relationship, we live in a beautiful house together, have lots of friends, a cute little kitten, both have a good career, are fit and work out regularly, I put effort into looking good, on top he writes music and I write poetry/devour books, ... and I…
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/17 11:18 AM
2

Being capable of recognizing your mistakes and coping with them together instead of shamefully keeping them to yourself (inevitably growing negative emotions around them secretly) is a huge sign of maturity and promotes personal growth. I think you maybe overestimated how happy marriage would make you, as if you would be "happy" and fulfilled and stay that way forever as soon as that goal has been achieved. Admitting that and saying that you're a bit confused as to why you're feeling the way you…
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/17 08:58 AM
13

Why not gently bring this problem to your husband? Long-term relationships are not set in stone; they are supposed to last a lifetime and flexibly change as you go through different stages of life. Don't be dishonest about how you feel!
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/17 06:17 PM
1

I know, right? He's been on and off about whether he even wants to stay friends with them, considering that they were also hanging out with her. From her side, I really think she just wanted to find something that she could still take away from him as a form of vengeance or to still be in his social circles and somehow be "around". During their relationship, she never thought he would ever leave her and felt too comfortable around him, putting in no effort whatsoever and only invested in herself…
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/17 01:59 PM
1

The "who am I?" is great! Thanks! It must have been so difficult for you at that party :D Luckily I already know how most of the people are probably going to be dressed.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/17 01:53 PM
2

The second edit is gold! I actually already had the talk with him yesterday, and he told me that he's afraid of how she will act towards me, and that he knows that I'm gentle, and that all of his friends who've met me already like me. The deeper issue is that she has started seeing this group of friends without him as well (she used to be "the girlfriend" and even told him he didn't like them while they were together, so I suspect it's some kind of revenge or last straw for her to suddenly start…
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/17 02:27 PM
1

Sound solid, thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/17 02:19 PM
1

Thanks! She seems like someone I could be friends with, except from the whole Situation. How do you put yourself in a graceful mindset exactly? Do you listen to a song maybe? Have a secret mantra?
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/17 02:19 PM
3

As a 25 y.o. European female I don't have fixed knowledge about your situation, but I would recommend your husband as the best source of knowledge about his family's expectations and his own in terms of help needed. Try to find a balance in being proactive with offering help and letting things come to you, so you don't come on too strong. Be on the lookout for signals that your help is needed somewhere (or not!). I suspect that there's no "standard format" to apply for these situations, unfortun…
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/17 10:24 AM
5

Well, what I have come to learn is that my mother was not submissive, she was in an abusive relationship This is so, so important and stops many women around me (including myself in the past) from truly enjoying their relationships. Trust and submission must only be given to someone who is worthy. Once I understood that submitting is not the same as not taking care of yourself anymore and mindlessly declining all responsibility and forgetting about boundaries, my life got so much better.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/17 08:58 AM
1

I didn't and never met a man like him before either, haha
/r/RedPillWives06/11/16 06:07 PM
11

It was a joke. I'm raised by a traditional mother and see that women here are heavily encouraged to develop "feminine" qualities and skills, like cooking, housemaking, sewing, ... We make assumptions about what our role is and what are tasks are as women.
/r/RedPillWives31/10/16 09:24 PM
2

I agree here and would like to add that you're setting your potential partner and yourself up for failure if you continue to act in a way that 's not genuine for you. You're not giving your dates the chance to truly get to know you and you're not allowing yourself to be vulnerable . Try to find ways to express yourself in a feminine way if that's what you truly want, but anything you truly want to be shouldn't frustrate you while being it.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/16 07:33 PM
5

I've been in your position in the past, but realized that I could get along with others easier by just being more open to differences. It's not because someone is different from you, that you shouldn't get along. Accept that there are different levels of agreement that you can have with people and that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. In that way, you can appreciate the company of other people even though you're not 100% a match personality-wise. Make it about the effort. Isn't it nice that…
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/16 05:13 PM
1

I feel most feminine and free when being a (systemic) psychologist, helping families and children. For your degree, maybe you could consider work that you can do at home, maybe on an independent basis in the long run? I'm thinking writing, copywriting, editor, ... All that stuff. Of course, there needs to be a demand on the job market as well. Maybe you could consider teaching, too, if the first things don't work out.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/16 09:47 AM
5

Okay, but that's because you still have the freedom to walk away.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/16 04:45 PM
1

Aaand here goes the award for golden tip of the week!
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/16 08:14 AM
2

I strongly agree with this advice too. Overburdening yourself demonstrates bad self-care. No one can do it all at the same time. The suggestions for help here are perfect and very practical. I used to live a similar lifestyle and these things helped lighten the load, and keeping it fun at the same time. Someone who's overworked is NO FUN! Remember that, don't feel guilty about getting help. I was in the same situation once. Some extra examples here: We had made a habit of "take-out Mondays" wher…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/16 07:57 AM
1

You're making yourself attractive to your husband, so go with what he likes! I know shorter hair requires more effort to style (I once cut off my ponytail for charity and hated how I had to blowout my hair after every washing session), BUT there are things you can do with it to switch it up sometimes if you're looking for variation. Especially braids (for example http://www.prettydesigns.com/12-pretty-braids-short-hair/ ) are easy to shuffle away locks of hair that aren't working for you that da…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/16 07:27 AM
1

Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/16 03:06 PM
2

You are soooo right. I'm not super experienced myself. So it immediately seems as if something's wrong with your compatibility if it's not perfect from the start.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/16 02:58 PM
3

I can't see how I'm body shaming him anywhere. Also, I'm not from the USA and the whole circumcision topic you're bringing into this literally has nothing to do with my question, or even with my culture.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/16 02:38 PM
2

Thank you so much! That's really good to hear. I'm absolutely willing to learn from him, just a bit insecure on how to open the conversation about it when he's obviously a little bit tense about it already. I think I'll just go with supportive and loving for a few months and only try to discuss playfully when I can see that he's comfortable with me and trusts me.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/16 02:36 PM
3

Thanks so much! He only had one relationship before me, and from what I understand, she was really cold and dominant to him towards the end, but he stayed for too long because he' s the type to try to fix things first. I can see how this may have affected his sexual experiences. Also thank you for the practical pointers. I'm really afraid of saying anything about it at this point, especially since I feel like reassuring him that it's not a performance and focusing on being together, like sex bei…
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/16 02:34 PM
5

Thanks, that's really reassuring to hear. I got kind of anxious because I read lots of women in this thread gush about how great the sex is with their alpha-men and how attraction can't be negotiated etc, like everyone instantly has the best sex life ever when they meet the right man. So it's not necessarily a red flag if it's not like that.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/16 02:08 PM
1

I am hoping to discuss how I can better the situation in a safe space of like-minded women, because he is amazing in every other aspect.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/16 02:02 PM
1

I think you're over thinking here and the natural way to act here is to do what he wants from you. Especially if you're frustrating him and he's explicit about it! There are lots of ways to express your opinion without coming across as belittling. Use words like "I think" , "I feel like", "to my opinion" "if you would ask me" etc instead of phrasing it as absolute truths. Otherwise you're inciting an argument by refusing to help him when repeatedly asked
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/16 08:45 AM
6

In Sex an the City, the only character I always rooted for was Charlotte!
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/16 08:36 AM
5

Tonight he said he feels there is 'no spark', following me getting a bit irritated with him on facetime an hour or so prior; as he was masturbating to pictures of other women, while I was having a conversation with him. To me, this is a message of him wanting to go and have sex with other women and not feeling it with you anymore. He seems to be pushing you away 'cause he's too scared to actively dump you.
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/16 01:13 PM
3

It turned my relationship with my mother bad because I realized what a dramatic shrew of a person she is. I honestly can't tolerate her for long periods of time anymore. Relatable! Take pity in her. This is what growing up and rising above is about, to me.
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/16 01:07 PM
5

It changed my relationship with my parents, first for the worst, because there had always been tension, but i couldn't pinpoint what it was about my parents that I didn't like. Then I realized how my mother is very controlling and my father is so submissive and lacking in initiative that he's basically more of a child than I am. But then it got better, because i accepted that this is how they are and now I understand more precisely why I'm different and have a framework to think of the type of r…
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/16 01:06 PM
1

I'm very sorry to hear that. It seems that she wanted you for a relationship and him just for sex. However, this is a pretty bad split to make (I would feel sick having sex with someone I don't love, let alone be in love with someone and have sex with someone else?), and her being capable to do so in my opinion shows that she might sees men as opportunities. So she saw an opportunity for a good relationship in you.
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/16 09:51 AM
7

You can't force anyone to commit by waiting long enough if they didn't want to commit to you in the first place. I don't think I would ever have sex with someone out of fear that if I don't put out quick enough, he'll be doing it with someone else. If this is the attitude, the only thing he's actually after is sex with you. I need a certain degree of comfort in a relationship, so that if I get sick or if I just gave birth to a baby or something, I don't have to worry about him running off to som…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/16 06:19 AM
2

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/16 12:00 PM
5

I can say with confidence that by the time sex happened, I didn't have any doubts as to if he'd stick around after. If you're hesitant to say that about someone you're seeing, I would err on the side of caution rather than jumping into bed with them and hoping you're right about that not being the only thing they want from you Yes! Absolutely what I meant to say in my post, too.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/16 10:35 AM
3

Love this! I often go from playful (level one) tot sensual to downright dirty (in the act), so to me, they're also kind of levels of displaying your sexuality towards him
/r/RedPillWives03/08/16 08:21 AM
3

I find it really hard to find friends that are also single and that genuinely want the best for me. I don't know why, but I always seem to instigate women to be competitive towards me, even though I genuinely don't care and just want to be their friend, not their competition. I'm usually not even into the guys they are competing for, even though they do go after me when they see me. I think it has to do with being what rp calls "sigma", and how that's way harder for a woman than for a man. I use…
/r/RedPillWives03/08/16 07:45 AM
6

Exciting! I want to participate: I want to lose weight to be "thin" again, it's not much but I want to lose 2,5 kilos to weigh 55 kg instead of 57,5 kg now. I'm not fat at all, but I felt thinner and leaner at that weight. I'm currently suffering from gastritis because of bad eating habits and too much coffee and Pepsi Max, and I want to get to a healthy diet again (right now I'm stuck on protein bars and yoghurt, the only things my stomach can handle). So making time to eat breakfast again and …
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/16 07:08 AM
10

When I can feel that he loves me, without a doubt. This could mean him explicitly saying that he loves me or showing it in his behaviour (wanting to see me often/ calling to check up on me/ the level of conversation/ things like "I've never known someone like you before"/ big romantic gestures like flowers with notes on your doorstep/ supportive acts like coming to fix that thing you're struggling with/ spending half a day working with you to fix a problem you've been having). Exclusivity here i…
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/16 07:00 AM
3

Thanks! I asked because I have autism running in my family and possess some traits of it, but it doesn't show to anyone and I was actually a quite popular girl (cheerleader type) but still felt kind of different and alone underneath. I could fit in with any group of people, but none of them actually felt like home to me. Then at one point I met a man at a party (completely caught off guard, since he suddenly appeared out of nowhere) who I talked with until dawn and we instantly felt like we were…
/r/RedPillWives30/07/16 07:53 AM
4

I know this comment may be a little late, but I'm just discovering the description of a "sigma" type of man, and it really reminds me of a high-functioning person with autism spectrum disorder. Are there any thoughts on this or a place where this discussion has been held already?
/r/RedPillWives27/07/16 06:21 PM
1

Doing sports/working out can help him cope for a couple of weeks. It's nature's antidepressant and will make him feel better + is a pretty manly way of doing something that will also feel useful in general. If the problem persists for more than a month and a half, I would also recommend seeing a doctor.
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/16 07:34 AM
3

What makes you pleasant for him to talk to, is not your knowledge, but your intelligence. Listen to him. Ask questions. Ask him to explain. Then you can continue your discussion with him.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/16 11:15 AM
2

She is beautiful and nice to her man, but mostly only him. She would do anything to please him She has little sense of self and adapts to her man 100% Not really opinionated, and agrees to everything her man says. Will laugh at his jokes, even when she doesn't get them. Will sometimes even absorb his ideas and opinions and reproduce these as her own. Is basically shaped by the man she loves Gets lost in her own emotions and needs firm guidance to stay on top of them High risk of cheating when in…
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/16 06:59 AM
20

I don’t know what my next step should be. I know many women in this sub have suggested that we are not right for each other. In our emotional mess I agree with this but I have no idea what to do next. Domestic abuse is hard to get away from because it's never only all bad. Call your dad, go to your parents/mother/a friend/a safehouse, just go away. Tell someone close to you about the situation and stick with it. It doesn't matter whose fault it is that things got so bad, this seems pretty unfixa…
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/16 02:33 PM
6

I understand how this is hard for you, but it is understandable that your potential husband wants you to be "his" and not "your father's"... Even though your father is not there anymore to give you away to him.
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/16 12:28 PM
1

Hi! Thank you for posting all of your questions, I also feel a bit "off" here sometimes, but take the liberty to interpret RP theory in my own way. Not sure if this will be of any value to you, but let me try to reply to your questions too. Not the whole post, otherwise this would become too long. A lot depends on different ways of phrasing things, when you and RPW are actually talking about the same thing, I think. 1- I believe that two people who are strong make for a better relationship than …
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/16 09:59 AM
1

Being around people drains my energy and relationships take a lot of work so it's even worse. I know that sounds like I don't like people or relationships. Not true. I just feel that I need to put more effort into them because I desire a bit more alone time than your average person. It's hard to be that way while still making your SO understand it has nothing to do with them. Many people don't get it though. They think you don't like them or you're cheating or something. So most times I end up d…
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/16 09:01 AM
1

I don't consider myself an expert, but the way I interpret hypergamy is on a subconscious level: even if you have a good committed partner, you're still attracted to a man with higher SMV if you see him. Attraction is something that happens to you, the body wants what it wants. But what you do with it, is your decision indeed. Unfortunately, lots of women don't recognize their agency and prefer to follow their whims and rationalize an explanation (this would be called hamstering) after the facts…
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/16 08:50 AM
3

I don't think you interpreted my comment the way I meant it. I meant to say that being happy and fulfilled increases your SMV. If a woman were to give up her career to be a housewife or SAHM when she in her heart didn't want to do so, she will probably subconsciously be resentful for this and place unreasonable demands on her husband, as he will have to "make up" for her giving up that part of her life. RP is not for everyone. On the other hand, I don't think that finding fulfillment in your car…
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/16 07:46 AM
1

Yes, that is exactly what I meant.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/16 07:32 AM
2

PhD'ing here. I do think it takes up a lot of your time, but if it truly makes you happy, you'll find fulfillment in it. That in itself will increase your SMV. On the other hand, if you find yourself worn out and drowning in work, you might be walking a path that's not 100% right for you. You'll find that out on your way. I would recommend you to invest in yourself -but truly invest in yourself- while you're single. That means taking care of yourself in every possible way and occasionally checki…
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/16 11:26 AM
1

e tells me that he does this because he wants the emotional release of telling someone, and he also wants me to be able to prepare myself mentally for coming financial ruin (he is the only breadwinner). He also wants confirmation that I won't be "mad at him" for ruining our lives when this inevitably happens. I re-read this and it's making me uncomfortable. Why is he giving up instead of fighting for the both of you? Maybe you should just answer his question and say that it would not be OK for y…
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/16 04:14 PM
2

+1 on this. I just logged in to comment that I really don't like the tone of the blog. Okay, some stuff they display is really silly, but there's no need to slander everyone. The way I see it, we are all sisters and should be kind and loving towards each other.
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/16 08:31 AM
2

I'm going to be burned down for this, but: if doing it the other way around (you dominant and leading, providing structure and him being submissive and cuddly and wanting to talk) worked for the both of you, now might not be the best timing to switch the roles around. Apart from how it "should be" ideally, you also have to think about how it is. And it seems like he is in no shape to lead right now, and therefore isn't ready to transition into a new dynamic with you right now. So to survive as a…
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/16 08:25 AM
1

True, but if your relationship is really good apart from that, it may be worth the effort. We don't know.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/16 10:18 AM
2

"You've probably invested a lot , but what you need is a new man. Sex is the foundation of every relationship. It's what separates him from all the other guys out there. If you're not being satisfied, you can tell him and request some things (probably won't work), then leave. I would tell a man the exact same thing." I disagree with this. Men are thoroughly conditioned to turn away from their instincts and not want to fuck women, but make love to them. It might take some time and adjusting from …
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/16 08:02 AM
1

The need to vent is completely natural, and can't just be "sucked in" without repercussions to your mental health. But (!) there are other ways to let negative energy out: maybe go exercise if you're really feeling furious, and other than that, make sure you have some good female friends that you hold close enough to talk about your husbands together. It might even help you gain some perspective!
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/16 12:34 PM
2

Hi, I have read through the other comments, but have you considered that he maybe bows down to his parents right now because he doesn't have a decent income? I agree that he isn't leading right now, but that may be calculated. For some people, money is a touchy subject. Have you discussed this with him before? It may even be that you actually have discussed money before, and that you demonstrated not having a problem with paying for his food/groceries etc. until he has a job, so he can take his …
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/16 09:24 AM
4

It would probably even be better for me if he confides in someone else
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/16 01:00 PM
3

your reply made me smile, thanks! I won't bitch (would also not like to have a mean or unfeminine attitude at work), but I think focussing on unattractive traits - if I find more - would help to keep the feels from blowing up. For now, the only things are the complaining to me about his unhappy relationship and staying in it, which demonstrate a lack of courage and/or self-confidence that I can see as unattractive.. He's handsome, clever and funny, and I admire his intelligence and drive (he's v…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/16 12:54 PM
1

Thanks for the edit. It might be that my feelings show a little (like smiling when he starts to talk to me), but I really do try to avoid any nonprofessional contact or situations with him. Maybe he wants to be friends and confide in me, maybe he would like to have an easy way out of his relationship or maybe he's just bored, there could be a million reasons and I dont want to involve myself in it because I would probably just get hurt. I just want to properly block off those comments somehow an…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/16 06:06 PM
2

No plans whatsoever to get into it at all.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/16 05:49 PM
3

Thanks! Exactly what I needed.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/16 05:48 PM
1

+1 on the podcast tip. Is it possible for you to read a book or magazine during the commute? I commute by train these days and use the time to watch my favourite show on my tablet, it's awesome. Also: try to take 30 mins throughout the day to do something for yourself, no matter how busy. This could be treating yourself to a nice lunch, socializing with colleagues, listening to music, ... If you can't make it for lunch, sneak out later in the day or go for a little walk through town before you c…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/16 06:51 PM
2

I grew up in a house full of extraverted, loud family members as an introvert and never was given my own bedroom. We did have a bathroom, so I would take my book (later smartphone/tablet) and said that I would be in the bathroom to take a bath and relax for a while. Then I would usually just lay in front of the stove for an hour, wrapped in my towel. It was very nice. They don't need to know what you're up to in there, it's kind of your right as a woman to have mysterious "girl time" in the bath…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/16 06:44 PM
1

You can't create attraction, it's there or it's not. Also, he should be treating you. I recommend you to break up (just stop chasing him) and invest that energy in yourself. You enjoy doing things for him, but are not getting a good return. He should be chasing sex with you. The dynamics are off. You're only 15, so it's perfectly normal to put some time and effort into developing yourself first. I can see how it's difficult being the only "young" one and getting judged on your age all the time, …
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/16 08:57 AM
2

I would recommend some books about systemic or transgenerational psychology. It might help you to think about why your dad became the way he is (how did his own parents treat him? how was the relationship with mom? what was going on in his life?), and that could help you with accepting (to some degree) what happened and by understanding why, relieving some of the grip it still has on you as a person.
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/16 12:34 PM
2

I've been re-reading and I may be going overboard here, but for me, what helped me, is that I learned to see my parents as fallible humans and that I forgave them for their faults and limitations. My fear of not being good enough and forthcoming need to prove myself and low self-esteem was stemming from there. Studying how to act feminine is a quick-fix, but when you do some soul-searching and manage to find out what's really bothering you and put it in perspective (solving it is really too ambi…
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/16 03:45 PM
5

No, because you don't have unmet social needs right now, and you shouldn't make friends just because your boyfriend is worried. Yes, because: Maybe he isn't just worried but a little overwhelmed with you and would like some breathing space every now and then that you'd spontaneously introduce to him (not in the form of him always going away from you) --> this could also be achieved by you taking some "alone time" every now and then to do something for yourself without him, like a sports class or…
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/16 03:33 PM
3

I feel you, and it's hard. A good place to start is being less critical towards others and yourself. Believing that you are good enough, even when you're not the best at something. Some things will make you happier than winning. Best of luck!
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/16 08:02 PM
2

Edit: men will find out that you're intelligent when they come to you, but you have to let them come to you and find out. You can't aggressively boast your intelligence (like a man) and still expect to be seen as a feminine potential lover. They don't want to compete with women, they're competing with other men to get the best women.
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/16 06:04 PM
5

I'll bite. First of all, we have quite a few things in common. I'm also smarter than most men I talk to, and value intelligence more. I'm clumsy and can be a little 'special' from time to time. Let this sink in: being feminine does not mean that you can't be an individual. I still think of myself as very feminine. I've been doing both ballet and kung-fu. You can have all these traits and still be feminine. The difference lies in your attitude. Why are you competitive? What are you competing for?…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/16 06:00 PM
1

Haha, I'm using the same tactic. Working in academics as well as the clinic, I hope there's a chance of running into someone some day
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/16 05:49 PM
1

First of all, I think you have more than enough time. Don't panic. The fact that you haven't been with anyone yet can only make you more valuable to the one you end up with :) Second: try starting off by focusing on working on yourself, without the goal of finding a partner or man. I get the impression that your intention to find a partner might shine through, putting men off. Desperation is not a good look on anyone, even a super hot girl would become unattractive because of it. Confidence and …
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/16 08:42 AM
1

It's funny you bring up Aspergers. I've read some studies recently noting that many female children might have been under diagnosed due to the types of friendship groups girls form. Girls are trained to be attentive to social cues and that social training may have helped many females conceal their Aspergers and cope with it. I've also read that the cause of Autism in general is stongly getting narrowed down to women delaying childbirth (the data showed that especially older fathers had a stronge…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/16 07:33 AM
1

Completely agree. I'll have to be patient, but not give up hope. Without wanting to seem pedantic, I'm pretty intelligent and that makes it harder to find someone who I can respect and give the lead to. But it will be worth the wait
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/16 06:10 AM
2

You are 100% right here, and dread game indeed is a way of trying to manipulate, thereby taking control anyways, which is what I did not want at all. It's kind of a relief to hear that it's probably not something I did. Except not having good judgement, haha.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/16 05:33 PM
1

Okay, so first of all: I am not looking for a trick or manipulation, I am looking to understand the problem (even sort of hoping that it's on me) so that I can avoid it in the future. I come from a family where investing in something and trying to fix cracks is valued infinitely more than going shopping for a new thing that's advertised to be better. So I am someone who really gives all I have to give in a relationship and was torn apart in both relationships by the decision to break them up, wh…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/16 05:22 PM
1

Wow, I was thinking about it some more in reply to Jackgetsit and already wrote some things down, they do boil down to what you guys try to learn at TRP and I think it has a lot to do with external motivation (doing something to get girls or to prove your worth to mom/dad/whoever) vs intrinsic motivation (doing something for yourself). Personally, I do things for myself and because I am curious about the world. My issue is that I couldn't tell external apart from internal motivation and once the…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/16 05:01 PM
1

Respectfully, I think assigning someone chores is as pedantic and motherly as it gets, and it's not a position I want to put myself in. I don't want to boss my partner around, nor do I want to make myself smaller or less competent than I am, just so he can have a "manly moment". The moment would feel fake to me and totally miss its effect, even further reversing roles in a relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/16 04:55 PM
2

Thanks! This happened in two relationships that broke up because of it, so it's not about fixing it, more about understanding. I never stopped doing my own things but started to feel more guilty about going out with girlfriends or going to the gym, leaving him on the couch, when he just wanted to be with me. The reason I posted this is because I would like to avoid this happening again in the future. But maybe it's very natural to want to "relax" and maybe I should too next time, or me not natur…
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/16 06:31 PM
2

I've had the same problem for a long time, being able to make friends for activities, but not experiencing deep bonds of friendship. For me, what helped is that I started working somewhere where I have older, more mature women around. Maybe try to look for women in the same position as you are, even if they are a little older. (They probably are, since happily being married on such a young age is rather rare in my experience) And don't be afraid to reach out to take a friendship from a shared in…
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/16 01:35 PM
1

INFJ too!
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/16 04:50 PM
1

Honest question: how can you like someone and not care about his feelings at the same time? I can imagine a situation where you're having brilliant sex and that's it, but in your story you mention enjoying his company and spending time with him. Also: if you want to play around, it seems like a better idea to downgrade him to a friend and have someone else to have magnificent sex with. Also tell him about sex you are having, so he's clear on his position at the same time, but still stay friends …
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/16 02:45 PM
4

I don't think rpw is the right subreddit for you. Apart from that: the most ethical thing to do here is to sit him down and have the talk he's been wanting to have. Obviously he is investing in you because he wants a relationship and future with you,and instead of avoiding the topic you should be honest with him about your intentions. It's only fair that he hears the truth, so he can decide for himself what he wants to do with it. Otherwise, this is just a subtly abusive situation. You can't hav…
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/16 01:37 PM
1

"He came up to me and asked if I was fine because he knew I wasn't - told him I knew I didn't look fine but I was (I didn't want to bother him with another sap story about how sad I felt) Ok great, he left it at that and was awesome." He is keeping an eye on you, monitoring your well-being, noticing when you feel bad and trying to help you - that's awesome. Emotions are a tricky field to tackle, which is why it's often uncomfortable for men to hear about them, especially from someone they love v…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/16 07:38 AM
2

Obviously if you're taking the time to read and write about this topic and you're not trolling but trying to interpret or understand things, there's always room for debate or discussion. Otherwise you wouldn't need a forum, only a blog or book.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 01:44 PM
1

Maybe take "getting you off" off of the to do-list? You can always masturbate alone, take some of the responsibility for your sexual pleasure off of his shoulders and take some decent care of yourself. It's obviously not enjoyable to him anymore to be the only one taking care of you sexually. I would also ban sex for a week or two, so that it's not a task/job anymore to him, but just something he wants when he feels like it. Only break it if he comes on to you. It might be good for him to build …
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 01:38 PM
6

I'm glad to hear so. I did have the impression that people who asked questions that were too challenging to the red pill philosophy were attacked or kicked out. In an honest debate, there must always be room for questioning and thinking freely. You go!
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 08:24 AM
1

Psychologist here. If you need something to function (for example to unwind or to be able to go to sleep), you are dependent of it. If you would suffer or experience altered functioning if access to that substance would be cut off all of the sudden you are addicted. It's quite simple.
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/16 08:15 AM
4

In my experience, happily smiling and saying thank you is a great response. Let him provide for you if he offers to.
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/16 02:18 PM
2

I also don't believe the stupidity of calling yourself a feminist while insulting other women and calling them "bland" based on some hobbies and being a different type of person (more successful with men) than they are.
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/16 08:24 PM
1

I get a lot of hate from this type of women, studying at uni and now working there, they are always around me. It's sad!
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/16 08:10 PM
1

Thanks! I guess I kind of overlooked it. Will remove this post!
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/16 10:00 PM
2

I have the same in that I'm afraid of being "too" pretty! Like it's too "out there" if you look too good. For me, it's got to do with a bad experience in the city where I live, that has some bad neigbourhoods (attracting unwanted attention and being cat called when I was younger when I wore a skirt/dress). It's kind of sad, actually. Every woman should be able to enjoy her femininity and beauty!
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/16 03:53 PM
5

So your goal is pretty shallow (a rich man), then I don't understand the problem in them wanting to brag? Why would they share half of their money with you if they can't show you off? If you also want someone who you "click" with, you're gonna have to maybe tolerate a little blushing and stuttering. It's not the worst and you're probably judging too harshly. Also too focused on your assets. If you're really smart, you can maybe post on web fora or join mensa meetings to meet people you can reall…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/16 03:43 PM
4

It's an illusion to think that he can protect himself from these kinds of things. She might as well lie over her birth control and get pregnant from some other guy that she's secretly been sleeping with. Women do bad things to men all the time. Some men treat women badly as well. If anyone cares even a little bit, there's always a risk. It's all a matter of trust. And yes, trust takes vulnerability and the courage to stand a chance that you might lose or get hurt but still be confident enough to…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/16 04:39 PM
1

Yes, with some results but it never completely went away.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/16 04:17 PM
1

I had a similar experience with my parents. They were very mad at me for breaking up with my ex boyfriend, who was very very "beta". That's because they are content with the kind of marriage they have and sometimes have difficulties understanding that I'm different from them. On the other hand, you want a man who is not on constant "competition" mode. In a good relationship, your alpha guy should soften up to you and want to help you, even be protective over you. He is your leader and you are hi…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/16 03:09 PM
2

If he doesn't trust her enough to think that she would financially rob him one day if she had the chance, then why is he with her? There are already some ways in which she has the opportunity to do damage to him for personal gain, but she hasn't done that, right?
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/16 02:55 PM
2

For me, cohabitating before marriage was the best thing that I could have done. My ex seemed the absolute best while we were dating and I was soooo in love with him and couldn't wait to start living with him and even had long term fantasies about our own little family one day. It was by actually living with him that I got to see his true colours. He couldn't handle the responsibility, nor the intimacy of sharing a home. We had a lot of fights, he crossed some lines (physically hurt me) and I pac…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/16 02:42 PM
1

It's already great to hear that other people have had the same experience with the pill. I discussed with my doctor, but he explained to me very honestly that there's no "magic solution" and that my body is fertile and wants to get pregnant, and to prevent that we have to work against it, which will evoke some responses. On top of that, I'm very sensitive and often respond strongly. Natural family planning is not really an option right now. I'm not really ready to have a kid with my boyfriend at…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/16 02:20 PM
1

The skyla sounds like the one I had as well! Not so good an experience with it though :(
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/16 01:58 PM
2

I used Yasminelle, a lighter version of Yasmin. It had a clear effect on my mood though!
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/16 01:58 PM
1

Me too! I like going through my cycle and ovulating and menstruating, it makes me feel like myself more. It feels more natural and I feel freer and happier. It's such a shame that you have to literally work against your body to not get pregnant.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/16 01:56 PM
1

Strangely, my acne begun when I stopped taking the pill and started to work out more and had a healthier diet. So I'm pretty sure it's hormonal. You're right about the action - reaction, though, it gets much worse when I eat badly for a few days or am stressed out. I get spotting naturally, so I don't mind the blood. It's just that, according to my dr, I'm pretty tiny and respond agressively against strange objects, so I had very bad cramping and pain even with the new Jaydess, that isn't partic…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/16 01:53 PM
2

Haha, oops! Thanks, I wrote my post a little too quickly.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/16 01:44 PM
–

I learned more about my downsides by being in a relationship pros Good genes: I have a pretty face and a petite physique, do not gain weight easily Long hair and generally well-dressed Capable of intelligent conversations and solving problems independently I've been told a have a good sense of humor Give great massages Good listener Cons Easily stressed Sleeping problems Some acne sometimes At times I get whiny Some days overwhelmed by job (PhD/psychologist) Clumsy (I often drop/spill things)
/r/RedPillWomen
–

I find it sweet and cute, but don't take it seriously. if confronted, yes. Otherwise, no, because I'm not interested (in a good relationship), so I don't want to hurt the man with the crush. depends on the company. Some friends are really modest, others I'd feel comfortable with saying that I'm wearing my "sexy dress" to go out. Now I live with my bf and I do feel comfortable with letting him know that I'm dressing up especially for our date or some event we're attending together. But I wouldn't…
/r/RedPillWomen
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