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View 2 posts and 61 comments by lapoesia on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
284

DISCUSSIONlapoesia/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 02:23 AM
122

MINDSET SHIFTlapoesia/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 04:27 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

God I wonder if we are in the same city because I came across a tech entrepreneur, in his 30s, a little while ago, checked his follower list out before I even matched with him, and he had an overwhelming amount of really creepy accounts in there (including soft porn accounts dedicated to pics of girls in school uniforms) - I swiped no immediately. This current guy’s list isn’t as bad but still a turn off - I wish I checked it sooner
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 02:18 PM
2

Great advice - thank you. Also just noticed I’ve been given a pickmeisha flair 🙄Smh, just wanted to have the discussion in a forum not full of men or libfems who will gaslight me into thinking it’s ok and the mods drag me, nice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 02:08 PM
4

Omg ☠️ the thing is - on one of our dates he was lamenting about how he doesn’t like social media, hates social media culture, and only uses it for his work - and how he LOVED that I’m not actively on it (I don’t have a public personal account - just a finsta with no followers than I use to follow illustrators & writers I like, local cafés etc) . Then I finally have a look and he’s got all these accounts in his follow list of girls that are steeped in the social media culture he supposedly hates
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 02:05 PM
3

My god that is such a good comparison - it really is just a digital version of the sleazy pin up calendar. I hate that it is normalised so much and considered more socially acceptable by most people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 02:01 PM
30

Yeah good call. I know this isn’t unique and complaining about it is pointless but I’m so f****ng sick of these wolves in sheep’s clothing types - much prefer the LVM that are super obvious about it off the bat so you know straight up to avoid them. It’s so disappointing and exhausting to meet someone who starts off behaving really great, then the mask slips at some point down the line.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 05:57 AM
39

They (LVM) are literally everywhere. In my family, in my workplace… it’s hard not to find it a bit depressing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 05:36 AM
15

I read the handbook when I first joined. I don’t remember anything about this being in there. Also, even if it’s addressed, some people might find it helpful to hear other people’s perspectives on these things. The handbook is a guide - not a bible, meaning it’s up for discussion. You’re saying we are never meant to sense check things with a broader audience purely because they’re mentioned in the handbook?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 05:33 AM
34

I’m 32. I know the advice is to avoid age gaps but he was doing all the right things :/ and I live in a city that’s a dating cesspool for over 30s - options are super limited 😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 05:00 AM
4

Oh yeah there were a couple of those in there too. Like regular girls taking lots of wiggly videos in their bathroom mirrors with a couple thousand followers
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 04:58 AM
8

I meant he is following some plumped up only fans style girls AND regular hot models like Em Rata/Alexis Ren (although I wouldn’t class them as totally natural girl-next-door types either haha - my next door neighbours do not look like that!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 04:56 AM
4

This sounds very similar to Rori Ray’s dating methodology. She’s big on cultivating“receiving” energy and using feeling messages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 11:46 AM
1

Staunchly agnostic actually
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 10:38 AM
31

So interesting… I used to be involved with someone on the LA scene who said it’s no secret she’s a really horrible person. I took their comment with a grain of salt at the time but seems there was truth to it! They actually also told me Ryan Adams was a total narcissist and awful to Mandy Moore - and this was back in 2014 before they had split and that turned out to be true as well..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 08:07 AM
10

Hey FDS-ers. Wanting to get advice on how to express to a new guy that I don’t want to have sex without exclusivity. I have been on several dates recently, and the guy has been surprisingly great so far (though I am keeping my expectations tempered regardless) - but I expect at some point across our next few dates, sleeping together (or more aptly - not sleeping together) is something I’m going to have to address. I’ve never set a hard boundary around it before while in the early stages of datin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 04:12 PM
4

Oh sorry to hear! Break ups are awful even if you know it is for the best, hope you’re taking care of yourself ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 01:20 PM
136

“Rejection is protection” is one I use to remind myself that the trash takes itself out of my life so it doesn’t stink it up (even though it suggests one has been “rejected” which may be problematic... for me it tells me that if someone doesn’t stick around, it is a good thing for me and my life). I also find it to be true. Also, a bit woo-woo, but “nothing truly meant for me will miss me” is really comforting and centring for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 12:13 AM
30

Wow it sounds like we are reaching similar places/coming to very similar conclusions. That’s really cool, and don’t feel sad (though I get it!!). You absolutely have time after 30 to explore all that potential and all those possibilities. It’s a sick lie that the window of possibility closes when we reach out 30s, and it’s exciting to cast that belief off right?! I have a date booked in this weekend and I’ve decided once that is out of the way (while the guy has given signs of being a HVM, my ex…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 11:19 AM
141

That last line hits hard. “I was raised by society to dream of my wedding, but I wish I had been dreaming of my life.” Love it, and at 32 this is just starting to dawn on me - that there is another way to live and think about a life. That I don’t have to force myself to date, or look good in order to potentially appeal to a man, because the fullness of my life doesn’t depend on finding a partner - even though the vast majority of people thinks it does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 05:07 AM
20

Saaaame
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 04:50 AM
7

Legend!! Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:45 AM
56

So, so good. I hope it is applied to all states and territories not just NSW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 04:26 AM
18

Thank you, I’ll check these out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 02:11 AM
8

Thanks so much!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 02:11 AM
90

Hey OP where is this excerpted from? This is really well articulated, I’d like to do some further reading if it’s part of a larger document
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:16 PM
28

Having been in a relationship where my ex kept score of when we did or didn’t have sex, sulked if we went even 1 day without, and pressured me so consistently to the point I still - over a year after breaking up - feel sick thinking about being intimate with someone.... this behaviour is not something they should be joking about 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:57 AM
18

Curious about this too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 03:52 AM
54

I was discussing this today with a friend actually - I spend limited time on Instagram now but when I do go on I find it personally really overwhelming how perfect and polished and beautiful seemingly everybody is now. It can’t just be a youth thing because when I was in my 20s (not that long ago!) it really wasn’t the same. I feel like the amount of money and time involved to present in the shiny Instagram way must be huge. My friend said she was at a party recently and she noticed it there - e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 07:59 PM
77

I experienced similar shame around my body when I was developing! I remember my first experience of said shame was when I was around 9 or 10. I was not even close to puberty but the very early signs were just starting to show (really small bumps on my chest, not even enough to warrant a training bra). I was really excited to be going to a big indoor play centre my dad was taking me to that day and was tearing a simple t-shirt and those sport pants with the press studs up the legs that were popul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 02:47 PM
8

So true. Where is this excerpted from?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 06:08 AM
5

Omg I’m the same - I get really stressed and uncomfortable if they spend too much time touching me or going down on me because I know how long it will take to get me even remotely close to climax and I worry they’ll get bored. OR that they’ll do all this work and I still won’t. I seriously don’t know how to relax and receive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 07:12 AM
22

I am 32 and no man, ever, has made me orgasm. Not even close. Sex has felt really good at times, but not THAT good. It’s actually really depressing and worrying me because I’m like, maybe I can never get there with a partner? And now I wonder if the fact I believe it’s impossible will make it so. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone though. Anybody who was in the same boat and managed to get there with someone eventually - what did they or you do that was different? I had to fake an orgasm ever…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 02:12 AM
28

I don’t balance per-se, I weigh up whether the connection makes me feel good most of the time, or if it makes me feel bad most of the time. If it feels more bad than good - it’s time to reevaluate maintaining the connection. People often feel obligated to maintain friendships long after they stop finding value in them. I did too, until one day I was telling my therapist how I dreaded catching up with one particular close friend because she always found subtle ways to put me down and I always fel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:05 PM
58

Off topic from OP’s post but I totally agree, I found a lot of the responses to that thread really frustrating. It’s similar to the “if getting fillers and Botox makes you feel good then do it!!” argument. I don’t want to shame anybody for going down that path because the amount of pressure women are under to look a certain way, and the ageism embedded into society, is REALLY hard to fight. But before we make these choices we should critically peel back the WHY. For many people this questioning …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:15 AM
46

Same here!! I had radfem leanings in my uni days (though this was pre libfem really taking off so I just considered myself a feminist). Then it became almost like a trend to be a feminist and everyone was wearing ‘the future is female’ tshirts and none of the Insta libfem stuff felt right to me. In fact I was repelled by a lot of it after awhile. I felt guilty and tried to work out what happened - had I become an anti-feminist, or was I just pushing back against something that was mainstream pop…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 11:20 PM
5

I have had two boyfriends express that they had an issue with my looks. One of them said “I’ve never been with a woman who turns heads before. It’s weird. I don’t think I like it.” The other one said “I always imagined I’d be with a plainer girl. I think you’re too good looking.” I kid you not 😂😂 we can’t f***ing win
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 10:01 AM
8

Ohhh!! 😂😂Omg I had thought the furrie thing was connected to the naked-on-the-toilet thing and that it was like a fetish involving hairy poo 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:31 PM
9

What are furries 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 12:58 AM
23

What an absolute germ she’s married to. That poor, poor woman 😢 So f***ing sick of valid concerns being labelled as cRaZy and eMoTiOnAL by men. It’s such a silencing tool and so many of them use it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 12:51 AM
20

Yes!! This happened to me recently and I had no idea how to deal with it - what do you say? Like we have had such minimal interaction I have no idea if there’s enough common ground to bother to potentially meet in person. I’m not putting myself through the emotional labour of a first date knowing literally zero about someone but I had no idea how to respond. It is so odd they launched straight into asking to meet knowing nothing about me either 😕😕😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 05:10 AM
36

I got a group chat request recently too (not called feminism chat though). I looked at the users and they were either very new accounts only a few hours old with no history, or accounts that had zero previous interaction with FDS or similar subs and it was not clear what their gender was. FDS is the only sub I’m a part of with this acc so it seemed targeted / suspicious
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 02:33 AM
102

Do you have a source for that stat?? Not disputing it just genuinely interested to see any research on it as those are terrifying numbers
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 10:28 AM
7

I agree with you. I feel like reversing the joke is just meeting scrotes on their level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 02:10 AM
13

Sometimes posts like these can be a wake up call because if your relationship has a boiling frog effect on you it’s surprising how this kind of thing can slowly start to seem somewhat normal or something to brush under the rug. I was in a relationship only a couple years ago where this kind of thing happened - on one level I knew it was messed up but I had been so gaslit over time, my radar was out of whack. I wish more than anything I had seen this post then to give me a shake
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:29 AM
41

Very similar happened to me too. Literally took his penis out and shoved it in my face while I was crying. So fucked up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:04 PM
65

That is sickening. Your poor friend
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:00 PM
109

I swear every guy on hinge with this as a profile prompt puts “physical touch and acts of service” - ok so you want a motherly figure who will clean up after you and have sex with you, no thank you 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:32 AM
5

True!!! I’m always suspicious of guys that say they’re 6ft on the dot on their OLD profiles - you just KNOW a huge portion of them are scraping 5’10 if they’re lucky and just rounding it up a couple of inches as if we won’t notice in person
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:21 AM
112

This doesn’t fit the list exactly but I once got called a “long legged bitch” 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 04:19 PM
19

I once had a close friend say to me “confident women never make jokes putting themselves down”. I ALWAYS self-deprecate and put myself down in the form of a joke, but I come back to the comment a lot and try to reign it in because I kind of think it’s true. All of the TRULY confident women I know do not put themselves down, joking or otherwise. They might make light jokes about themselves but if you listen carefully the tone is always different and not truly self deprecating. Negative self talk …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 01:51 AM
52

I googled this to see if there were more articles out there about it and it seems the data is incorrect - however I don’t doubt for one second the endemic levels of domestic violence out there, or the risk women face. But I do think it’s important we make sure we spout and share valid data - absolutely nothing against you OP, more the journalism standards these days which we should be able to trust as valid and well-researched but it often isn’t the case. Which is frustrating because there IS so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 01:54 AM
12

Gosh I wish you and the other commenters were my friends IRL - I feel like I’d be cured real fast if I had this kind of energy around me all the time 😂thank you 🙌🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 02:11 PM
3

This is great advice - thank you. The pleasant comment hit home as I have had “nice girl syndrome” for a very long time. Growing up my mum used to make out like being confident was a really negative thing (if I had friends who were confident she would say they were “too forward”). So I learnt to keep myself very small and palatable and “nice” from a young age. She always used to refer to people who prioritised themselves as selfish too, like it was the worst thing you could do. So I’ve definitel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 02:07 PM
4

It is really encouraging to know you experienced the same thing and got past it - makes me hopeful I can get to a similar place! Was there anything in particular you did to get there, or did the insecurity just naturally drop away after FDS-ing long term?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 01:50 PM
20

Yes! So glad it’s not just me. I guess it exposes that our confidence is still on shaky ground, right? Because I’m the same - I feel totally content until someone who appears HV comes along and then it shifts. I wish I knew how we could unlock that next level of confidence that doesn’t change regardless of how great a guy seems 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 05:39 AM
21

Yes! I mean in theory I really don’t want to worry if any of it is good enough for a man - I bought my home because I wanted my own roof in my name (rather than waiting around for a partner to buy a home with), I take care of myself because it makes me feel good, and my salary is a result of a lot of luck and privilege and work - and gives me freedom (and protection/independence like you said). I don’t think I articulated this well enough in my post, but the purpose of me sharing those things wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 05:28 AM
208

Lol I second this!!! It’s a miracle if I meet one person I’m remotely interested in. 2+ would be a result of divine intervention
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:34 AM
39

I’m really tall (just under 6ft) and I have never had any trouble being approached - most guys have not had an issue with it, except for dudes with little man syndrome who exude massive insecurity (who I wouldn’t go for anyway)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 01:09 AM
4

I’ve been someone’s “dream girl” and it was basically just him projecting onto me his idea of who he thought I was/wanted me to be. He used to get excited when I wore certain outfits and say (I kid you not) “Ohhh you look like my girlfriend today!! My girlfriend would wear that”... except, I was his girlfriend? It was a trap that made me feel simultaneously special, and scared of doing something misaligned with his expectations lest I lose my dream girl crown... 🙄 which was bound to happen, beca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 02:23 PM
150

Millennial here, and I’m not sure about my grandma but my boomer mum has always had a totally messed up relationship with food and her body, though she has always maintained a normal weight. I have never, ever in my entire life seen her in a swimsuit. She grew up near the ocean so has a love for it, and she knows how to swim, but she hated her body so much as an adult that she would never wear a swimsuit/go swimming. She habitually goes all day without eating anything and then will binge on an e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 01:59 AM
3

I really admire your ability to set and stick to your boundaries around this. I’ve struggled with boundary-setting in the past so I love hearing examples of people doing it well and sticking to their guns. At the moment I feel a lot men would write a porn boundary off as prudish and unreasonable (there are a lot of pickmes out there who endorse porn and validate pornsick dudes) but can you imagine if enough of us followed through with this kind of reaction to porn use?! They would have to wake u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 12:15 PM
10

I did this! My abusive, NVM ex always used to say “NoOoO, yuck, don’t do it” whenever I toyed with the idea of cutting my long hair. I am now VERY happily sporting my revenge lob. It definitely felt like a symbolic reclamation of control.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 05:24 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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