Something I noticed on Tiktok recently is a lot of, and I mean a weirdly high amount of stories from different girls about how their own fathers sexualised them.
A lot of them found “father-daughter” porn in their dad’s search history and one of them was even accused by their dad of trying to seduce him when he kicked her out. He actually kicked her out because she was tired of his shit.
And it reminds me of how my older brother (an abusive LV narc) would literally bully me over how I ate ice lollies. I was a child and for whatever fucked up reason, his depraved mind would think BLOWJOB, and then he would whinge to my parents, “look how she’s eating it! Tell her to stop!” He also had the same attitude to when I would drop something and bend to pick it up. My knees were really janky and I struggled to crouch so I would do a quick straight bend down and it infuriated him.
And while my dad never sexualised me in the more abhorrent kind of way, he did it in the school dress code way where I wasn’t allowed to show my shoulders, legs or midriff. I wasn’t allowed to do ballet because of their attire, I wasn’t allowed to wear bikinis or shorts.
I just hate how the men in our lives impose all of their shame onto us and expect us to carry such a weight. For a long time, this shame that did not belong to me still anchored me and only the other day I realised I could choose to stop carrying it.
I’m tired of having to lift their perversions because they can’t think normally.
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