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persimmon_dazzling Archive

View 1 posts and 589 comments by persimmon_dazzling on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

You don't have to do a max transformation. Just spend 1 or 2 weeks living yolo.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/26 10:05 PM
1

hard to believe you
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/26 10:04 PM
1

noticed I can also pray about my business No sex. Several rejections. Nothing drastic. Will organize myself better. I know to come better prepared next time You're boring. Can you fix that?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/26 11:02 AM
1

Wife is recently very into giving me blowjobs. Why don’t you try backing off a little Two thoughts one head. No need to explain it to me.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/26 11:00 AM
1

Why do you think you are excused from lifting?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/26 10:56 AM
1

felt angry about still financially supporting her I rejected an initiation my girlfriend started nagging me Looks like you got a lot done this week.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/26 10:49 AM
1

I see a difference in the withdrawal of attention(acknowledging I’m not participating in something in conflict with what I want) is different from hiding (bailing on what I want in the face of discomfort, retreating, giving her control, being weak). I’m realizing that somewhere in my caretaking urge - is a desire to hide myself, and effectively my wants. Have frame/boundaries, or have no frame/weakness. Your practice of being selfish is great. Only when you are safe with yourself, can you give f…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/26 10:46 AM
0

I act with integrity and intent That being said, I’m not going to tolerate ... like I’m a child. I can still fire him for insubordination. I’ll have to do his job for a bit, but this move should make me more profitable Wow, you are such a nice guy!
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/26 10:41 AM
1

Have you taken all of the actions of preparing for divorce? u/FutileFighter went this way all the way to the near finish line, and I believe it gave him the push to actually find strength beyond numbers and LARPing. You should also probably work less.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/26 10:38 AM
3

things in my life are improving. im just the cucked beta idiot. You're gonna Rambo the shit out of this, aren't you? Maybe slow it down, allow yourself to realize the mistake you have made in choosing this woman, come to know the mistake and sit with it, and purposefully correct it with the right actions, which likely are not tinder, sleeve tattoes, and sloppy seconds.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/26 10:32 AM
1

Live an abundant life ... my service to others. Taking the lead and scheduling our vacations. kept the mood positive was scared to take charge Spot the pattern my wife she was able which shut her down She laughed and she came up to me, blamed me Do better. She she she.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/26 10:28 AM
3

I rest so that my most important resource(me) is protected. It is interesting to see that you need to abstract yourself away from yourself, in order to control yourself, to be allowed to have validation from yourself. This is a pretzel. Some people rest because they feel like it. The simple version is -- if I were max selfish, what would I do. *Do*, not *think about thinking that forces the doing*.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/26 10:23 AM
2

Are you having fun yet?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/26 10:20 AM
1

Be a man.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/26 03:33 PM
1

You seem caught between finding some self respect by refusing to be emasculated back into submission, and relapsing. It was good to get that nut out, but afterwards I realized I let that low effort sex happens. .. perfect menu for a porn relapse. And it happened twice. Not proud of it and I've owned I folded when things got rough. I’d be lying if I didn’t say it felt great during, but PNC hit like a freight train and after the second time I just couldn’t do it anymore. I realized that ... Stop r…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/26 12:54 PM
1

You do not seem capable of doing all the work at once. Your mind is cluttered, and your thoughts are poison. Shut them all off. Do not share them with others or yourself. Detox from this embarrassment. Pick one thing and do it for 6 months, so you can be past the beginner phase on at least one element of your life. That may give you a ledge from which to move forward.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/26 12:50 PM
1

Your bench matters. It increases your confidence and attractiveness. *Your* bench is not the problem, *right now*. 220.7 -- this means you should drop 20 lbs. Your squat/dead is high enough to suggest you're athletic and your shoulder injuries and bar discussion suggest you're fucking around a lot thinking about how to fix this part of your strength training. The problem is in your frame, lack of mission, lack of adventure and likely nice guy behaviors and covert contracts. So spend the time you…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/26 09:56 AM
2

You will save yourself years of pain in older age by fixing your body now. It may take 3-6 months to get past the initial limitation, and then you will build on a better foundation quickly. I find it much healthier to be able to do compound movements, even it means you peacock (ie hypertrophy) slightly less.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/26 09:48 AM
1

This one time I had a thought I was a billionaire.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/26 11:09 AM
2

The sidebar is for the basics, take those actions. Learn to use your body. That means deadlift, squat, bench. There is no replacement. As you get older, this gets only more important. Also do something for heart health and conditioning. Don't use MRP for your workout tracker, people are only interested if you are weak or strong, not if you did A or B. Culture is legitimately different across the world, don't be an idiot. Adopting Western therapy ("validation seeking") or RP ("unplugged") speak m…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/26 11:06 AM
3

Mission: take back my individuality ("I should") Be a good leader Spot the contradiction.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/26 02:39 PM
1

I feel icky reading this.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/26 02:38 PM
1

Why are you here? What have you ever done?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/26 11:06 AM
2

I started taking enclomiphene the naked lawn chair lady riding my dick ... she was about 65 years old?? Congrats, you unlocked a new level.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/26 11:04 AM
1

OYS 10 NMMNG x 3 I do want to drive a family culture where everyone steps up to help the team out and am thinking about How's Mr. Nice Guy getting along?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/26 11:00 AM
2

I need to I think I feel I caught myself thinking kind of overthinking You suck and nobody wants to read about your dick.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/26 10:58 AM
1

Your bench doesn't matter and is not the problem in your relationship. Your problem is frame. When she complains, imagine a kitten bringing you a dead mouse with pride.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/26 10:55 AM
1

Nonconsensual nonconsent.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/26 10:52 AM
3

Listen to this man. You are too fat. Ignore your benchpress for a while, learn to squat and deadlift correctly, and lose the weight by doing more activity.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/26 10:51 AM
2

Only one notable improvement to hammer curl 38 lb 1RM. You are at OYS 20, almost 50 years old, and doing fucking hammer curl one rep maxes? This is probably a metaphor for the rest of your life, including your income, isn't it?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/26 10:46 AM
1

During my workout I then tried to do Romanian Deadlifts, but it hurts in the back. I also downloaded MyFitnessPal to track my nutrition, but I absolutely can't figure out that little gear/dial thing for the quantity. Maybe it's better if I just write it down by hand. You are 40 years old? Have you considered any attempts at being competent?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/26 10:44 AM
3

Mission: To take back my individuality and free time. Be a good leader in work and home life and show my boys how a well adjusted man lives. Doing it my way on my time with or without the people who can accept me. Spot the contradiction. I all but made her go to therapy a ... and she wouldn’t listen to my advice. Sex: None. Love it. 5/5 would read again.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/26 10:41 AM
3

You are treating OYS like your journal, not like an OYS. Why? I don’t need to be I'm hopeful as I keep working on I’d like to write and review This is good - but we’ve realized etc All this thought is filler rumination, i.e., DEERing but in public as if you are doing work, which you are not. I never really noticed it, nor did I really care .. You obviously do, and are proud of it, don't lie as if you are not validating yourself by telling us about it (twice the mistake). But also, this is just t…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/26 10:40 AM
1

Did she seek your comfort and presence?
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/26 12:44 PM
2

I prefer holding up the mirror to the posters here. Is your reflection not clear? But ok. What are the last 3 things you have done for yourself that were fun and made you feel alive? Do more of those instead of thinking about your thinking. Being authentic means being an author of yourself. What have you authored in your life that is not a reflection of others, or worse yet, the technological distillation of the experience of others?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/26 03:44 PM
2

Please do your own homework by thinking and doing http://www.strongur.io/body_fat_calculator/ 18.4% I haven't read as much of the side bar as I would have liked to by now. I had a busy week and didn't get to it. My wife seems much happier in her home country. Mission: Being a leader I was thinking about ... You have no frame or mission, and aren't doing anything about it or for it for a long time
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/26 03:18 PM
3

Are you ChatGPT?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/26 03:14 PM
1

Why aren't you losing weight? Overall it seems you are on a path that is improving, even if you are being autistic about it. Also consider the contradiction a conventional manner my wants and needs Who is defining success for you?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/26 10:56 AM
3

At OYS 17 you are doing this wrong. Consider doing it right by reading the sidebar and lifting
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/26 10:46 AM
3

Her period woman's cycle she can smell we were going to she sat where She started saying she saw any weakness in my eyes She got all giggly ... I gave up counting the times you are embarassing yourself here
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/26 10:44 AM
1

During therapy a couple weeks ago a topic came up and brought that issue back to the forefront of my mind. After talking with him and a close friend, I decided to confront her about it. I told her we needed to talk and sat down and in a very calm and firm voice told her. There were a lot of attempts made to get me to react but I was so laser focused on staying calm and breathing, one of the first times in my life. I left afterwards and crash and my buddies. What was the problem? Why did you run …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/26 10:42 AM
1

Is "leading your family" a "should" that you have imposed on yourself
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/26 10:39 AM
4

I lack so much self-esteem that I need a hug and a kiss to feel good me being scared to game and initiate out of fear of rejection she sighs that sigh of disgust people recognize me as a weak man he doesn’t receive his. I immediately start to feel pain I’m looking to outside sources to validate my experience. Is it not obvious to you? You don't exist. You are wilting. You are begging mommy to save you. You fight for fake medals with children. Turn this around. You are lucky that, despite all thi…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/26 10:36 AM
1

Concrete steps I’m am taking to conquer this- you're having thoughts, not taking any concrete steps this is why you have panic attacks. Your body wants you to move in the world, instead of being paralyzed by your hallucinations in the mind
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/26 10:30 AM
5

you only get what you want when you stop caring if you get it. You get what you want when you already have it.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/26 10:25 AM
1

what I want (more & kinkier sex) The days following my success at sex I felt a lot less interested Why do you want these things? Did someone (eg RP, porn) tell you to want them? Or do you want them intrinsically?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/26 10:23 AM
9

she told me she will give me a blowjob after each gym as an extrinsic reward. I started bringing stress home. My muscles atrophied. My belly got fat. Now I am insecure and sleep deprived, feeling weak next to other men. She is 24 What exactly is your question?
/r/askMRP11/02/26 11:00 AM
1

I was passive and weak as I need to be I have to make sure
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/26 11:50 AM
1

Do you mind I keep thinking about I need to stop
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/26 11:45 AM
1

"Interested to hear thoughts"
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/26 11:42 AM
4

Until you see enough storms, you can't learn that it's pointless to try and control the weather. Lesson about women applies to more than just women, but to the chaos pattern of the universe and understanding how to flow with the water, how to hunt in the modern way, and how to carry self respect. I remember a long thread a while ago where one side was all about "why would you stay married, tell me one good thing, you can just replace women constantly with younger and more excited versions". And …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/25 09:19 AM
3

She agreed that would be nice, but also rejected a tit grab the next night. We'll see what happens with this. ! It was so bad I tried to end it twice. She insisted we keep going, but it wasn't worth it. She was completely dry. !! You got the tit grabs, you got the dry pussy, it's all there man. You guys are stumbling around, but at least everyone is having fun. To give you value, I'll say that I don't believe you at all when you say this: Since actually OMS and not just LARPing at it, I just lik…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/25 11:38 AM
2

I think he's deloading.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/25 10:42 AM
5

she comes to take a peek at me around the corner and I can catch an expression of dissatisfaction or contempt on her face. I started fixing this by making myself more useful during those moments, cleaning off and setting the table, or taking care of something else that needs to be done. I still need to be doing this more though. hmm. It was literally spelled out by her what I should be doing. Mommy knows best.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/25 10:42 AM
2

You have given me a good laugh. Thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/25 10:39 AM
2

Have you no introspection? You are running away from yourself. You create the problems you hate and then do everything you can to distance yourself from them, while projecting those problems on others and the world. Not all people live like this. You don't have to live in an all or nothing soap opera of your creation. Meditation is not escape from the world, you already do this through action and hamstering. It is congruence, self-validation, and acceptance of the very black hole which is suckin…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/25 10:55 AM
4

The good news is life is fun and worth living. You just have to try it and learn how. Remove your addictions to make space for the real thing. Humans are social animals. Where you sit in the web of your social connections determines more than most want to admit.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/25 10:50 AM
4

"My previous OYSs were pretty empty, which is reflective of my actions." I am bored by what you are saying. Develop a personality rather than an excel spreadsheet.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/25 12:44 PM
1

This isn't just an OYS—it's the first step to having sex with your wife again by pressing buttons on the computer.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/25 12:41 PM
2

Your answer is generic and does not connect to actual lived experience. What does it mean to be a better person? According to whom?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/25 12:29 PM
1

I find the fact pattern confusing.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/25 10:09 AM
2

Catch a lot of shitty thought patterns I didn't really care at first I actually don't care I'm just projecting. My therapy work is to not dwell, not be negative, not make it about me I thought every trip was a cheat session. . It's actually the place I would go for my yoga retreat to recover and hook up. Lol.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/25 10:05 AM
4

I realized that I am scared I want to be able to What I need to do I am going to I need to get spending I told myself I could Replace all this shit with "I did".
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/25 09:50 AM
1

I agree. What a strange thing to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/25 09:45 AM
3

It was about one of her sexual fantasies where she is tied up and submits to a man. Am I reading it right that she wants to submit to the bus driver and he inspires her?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/25 09:40 AM
2

In hindsight I didn’t manage that situation well, because I didn’t game the shit out of it as I could have. Are you inserting a "should" here? Nothing wrong with just enjoying the experience without falling into the question of how to turn on your wife. Unless gaming is part of the enjoyment.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/25 09:36 AM
4

Just because something is your fault, meaning you contributed to the circumstance, does not mean you need to let go of your boundaries about it. This is the plight of the whining nice guy.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/25 09:30 AM
4

Life happens to you: "I became lazy in " " I have yet to consider potential employment elsewhere." "I have come to disect my role" " I have watched her " " I was afraid of the validation " You are furniture that contemplates its own plight. Maybe you can find your balls and get some self respect. Is infidelity not a hard line for you?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/25 09:29 AM
1

What's the best thing going on in your life that gives you purpose?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/25 09:24 AM
2

In 6-9 months at 2400 calories you can probably be close to where you want to be. On 1400 calories, how do you lift? You're probably getting injured from not having enough recovery, on top of the technique.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/25 11:59 AM
1

Get rid of the Madonna Whore complex and your Nice Guy routine, and you have a chance. Here's a video of your relationship: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24GArO0Qe_8
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/25 11:57 AM
2

"WTF, I married a p**n star". I never really had any problems attracting women We sleep in separate rooms and normal coexistence is characterized by many arguments and lack of respect. Hmm. Doesn't compute, does it. Then my ego took over and I behaved like a megalomaniac teenager. Again and again I caught myself doing activities to get validation or to boost my ego. At the same time, there was not a single good word from my wife about the things I had already improved in recent years. When I dom…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/25 10:18 AM
2

Focused on myself until I was done, then took care of her. It was awesome. Just need more nights like that one. This is a broader than sex
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/25 10:01 AM
1

It’s almost funny how accurate the sidebar is. on thursday my wife told me that she feels ‚quite disconnected recently‘, on saturday I finally fuck her good (on tadalafil) and all weekend she is giggly, all over my body telling me ‚you fucked me back in love with you‘. Isn't this how you feel as well? all the years I acted like sex is top priority.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/25 09:59 AM
1

Two dates last week involved eating out, and I allowed that to loosen my standards. It’s a familiar tension: short-term pleasure vs long-term purpose. But the truth is, if I compromise here, I compromise everywhere. This mission doesn’t allow for drift. It demands discipline. Relax and just skip breakfast the next day.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/25 09:57 AM
1

"and be overall more fun to be around." You live in the mirror world of other people. By letting others be the judge, you are the judged. Your goals and experiences are about being a good reflection.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/25 09:55 AM
1

The more you chase the further it is
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/25 10:28 AM
1

I need to track let off the gas Still struggling also keep thinking having a hard time judging I should be using my time I need to start over slow going in both directions. trying to absorb I feel that I need work in is being better wear me down. starting to scoreboard I need to figure out
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/25 01:45 PM
1

You are at OYS 45 and still have OYS 5 revelations. Settling for starfish/duty sex is akin to masturbating, it only satisfies a base need to orgasm. https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/a9pxnh/good_sex_requires_emotion/ https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/kxxe5j/initiations_youre_not_that_funny/ https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3fw7wa/from_trp_every_unhappy_wife_is_a_rape_victim/
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/25 01:41 PM
5

Any correlation between how much time you spend on plates and your ED with the LTR? If you've got a rotation of novelty, that would dampen interest for the prior model. You might be relying on cues that she can't provide. Same effect as porn. I sometimes am tired and full of work stress. It takes mindfulness to notice the pleasure I get from escalating. Horns' point about the collarbone. Or the touch, the smell, the breath, the reaction, whatever. If you're used to porn or novelty/easy mode, you…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/25 01:31 PM
3

Did you already know what actions to take, and just were not taking them? Or, did you need to take action to learn what to decide?
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/25 01:18 PM
1

If you look back on your OYS 1, what would your current advice be to that person?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/25 02:58 PM
4

Laugh at yourself. You are the Greyhound afraid of a Pomeranian because it is fuzzy and loud.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/25 11:56 AM
5

Since then I often catch myself smirking and nearly bursting in laughter every time I hear some more complaints, accusations, and indignations. Laughter is a great disinfectant. Try actually laughing, because it *is* funny. When you see a Pomeranian yapping at a Greyhound, what is the appropriate reaction?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/25 09:19 AM
1

Look, I don't want to get into shit by moralizing, which is why I am holding back and talking to you rhetorically. The internal validation is really not sinking in for me That's clear as you are spending most of your energy on doing the monkey dance to fuck other women. I did the monkey dance to fuck my wife. Both are performative and an unavoidable stage. But it is easier with new women to feel attractive, since you don't carry baggage, which means easier to bullshit yourself about your primary…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/25 11:25 AM
2

Got it. It is good to know your body and what you want out of it. I had a pretty nasty back issue when I showed up here that lasted 8 years before I was able to clear it out, as well as fucked up shoulders and knees from what I did to myself in my 20s. So I get the injury cycle and wanting to stay out of it. You likely carry fear, and may want to address that later. For me, what helped was less exercise, not more. I was running myself down with too frequent workouts, bad technique, not eating en…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/25 11:07 AM
1

I'm your height and 195lbs would probably be 15% fat on me, but my lifts are a big bigger. So I don't really get why you need to lift 6 days a week? 3-4 days of heavy lifting should yield better results than a lot of volume with lighter weights 6x a week. Your 3 days of cardio is probably burning off your fast twitch work and you're not getting enough food in to grow. Something is off. You shouldn't dread your workouts, but love them. Maybe its a bit of both. I guess what I am saying is that you…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/25 05:23 PM
1

Last week, I was optimistic about my sex drive showing signs of life. This week it’s been more dead than ever. Is sex fun for you, and was it good prior to this new job? If sex isn't fun for you, why would you want it? Why do you contort yourself to think you must want it? What about the job caused the change? Are you respected at work? On sleep, try Melatonin gummies.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/25 02:00 PM
2

People are wasting time giving him any feedback whatsoever.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/25 01:55 PM
2

If fitness is easy for you, what is hard for you? Whatever it is, do that.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/25 01:50 PM
2

needy, complaining, and pessimistic This is your main problem. You don't seem fat or super weak, though you will surely improve your attitude by lifting more seriously. it felt good just to go for it, have some laughs and enjoy the moment. Pro tip. This isn't just true for sex. Figure out how to enjoy life by doing things you like.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/25 01:38 PM
2

I agree w FF, but you're overthinking it for OYS4. Sidebar for another 12 weeks then revisit.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/25 01:33 PM
2

We have to assume averages, AMALT. Average goal, average situation, average marriage. What strategies do we know, most likely, will have the same effect as Icarus flying into the sun or the ocean? Maybe he's special, or we all are, and therefore are not.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/25 08:44 PM
2

Doing things is very good, and much better than just thinking about doing things. He is pretty far down a particular path -- is he learning anything or just going Rambo because a spreadsheet told him to do it?
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/25 03:57 PM
1

What do you want to happen in regards to your family and how you relate to them?
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/25 03:55 PM
3

We have different goals in regards to our marriages. I am trying to understand what yours are without being critical. Your answers don't show much self-reflection. You are on OYS 30+ and there is no clear drive/mission, just a bunch of stated goals undercut by excuses, and a blow by blow of your dating life for MRP validation. You're fucking at home but it's not enough because of unclear reasons. I asked you if you would be happy to see if there is any congruence to a life you want to live. You …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/25 02:47 PM
1

Will you be happy then?
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/25 12:00 PM
1

I’ve been practising shutting the fuck up about anything health related. I’ve been telling myself: not only does nobody give a fuck, nobody wants to hear it either. It’s my problem to deal with. The interesting thing about this is that actually your own mind doesn't need to ruminate either, it's a disfunction that can be addressed. Free yourself of noise.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/25 11:38 AM
1

Your field reports are entertaining and you seem to be putting yourself into them. Now you've gotten some results. What exactly are you trying to do? Seems like a flurry of activity for validation, measuring yourself by how the world responds. How much of this does your ego need?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/25 11:28 AM
6

I can only control myself and decide my own actions. Always could, but just didn’t believe it. Enjoying myself. It's amazing how much time it always takes for this to sink in. Congrats. It might be tempting to get pleasure from some sort of revenge now that you see. Waste of time. Just swim with the direction of the water.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/25 11:14 AM
2

Hahah, thanks for that!
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/25 11:18 AM
1

Wherever you go, there you are.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/25 11:33 AM
2

Sidebar for what this is about. You misunderstand.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/25 12:18 PM
1

blah blah blah
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/25 10:56 AM
2

Are you married? Why are you here?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/25 10:53 AM
1

I laughed at "Status: Sick of being a fat fucking faggot"
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/25 10:49 AM
2

You are a mirror to the world and hollow inside. Fill yourself up with self respect before worrying how shiny you are.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/25 10:47 AM
1

I thought I deserved better You probably know this, but this distortion is at the root of all your problems.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/25 10:43 AM
1

What do you do for fun for yourself? Find something separate from all the shit you discussed and do it selfishly. The porn leads to sex problems. Stop it or take ownership for it. If you must, you can masturbate without the porn. Are you on social media or other dopamine draining activities (too much video games)? Quit it. Create routines and structures in your life so you get to make fewer bad decisions and are forced to do the things a man must do.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/25 10:39 AM
1

By what date are you targeting your weight to be 190 lbs?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/25 10:32 AM
1

Why don't you start at the root of the problem Mission: To overcome my decision paralysis and develop a strong vision and frame for my life. You start by describing yourself with decision paralysis. Why would you qualify yourself as a failure before you even start. Reframe. To build my body into an impressive shape, Judged by whom? build my personality into a disciplined, stoic, and dominant version of myself, This presumes your current self is undisciplined, chaotic and lacks control. Why start…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/25 10:30 AM
3

Wow, holy shit. I'll tell you this. This reads like something coming from a person that is happy and open, and takes a pleasure in giving, and thereby attracts the genuine pleasure and love of others. From the source of wealth, not from the bandit on the road stealing a coin. The version of you I remember previously was very hard nosed and playing the strictest RP dogma to get your dignity back and revenge on women. I think you were skeptical of my turning things around without going full scorch…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/25 10:22 AM
2

Bill Hicks https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/8870-today-a-young-man-on-acid-realized-that-all-matter
/r/askMRP15/01/25 04:08 PM
3

“Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.” Hey looks like you figured out that nothing matters and everything is bullshit. What are you gonna do about it? Ask strangers on Reddit how to live your life and how to give yourself meaning?
/r/askMRP15/01/25 01:52 PM
9

"I went to get lunch, and she wouldn’t come in. She sat outside in the car, so I ordered steaks for both of us. I sat there and ate my meal. Later, she served her steak to me for dinner." This is my version of hell, man, a passive-aggressive lonely black hole inside a woman's mind. Get a grip. Stop being a repulsive, angry nice guy.
/r/askMRP15/01/25 01:49 PM
5

The TLDR would be, "know thyself". Then, once you do, you realize that "knowing" and "making" are connected deeply.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/25 05:25 PM
8

This was a pleasure to read. You started here: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/12bctgk/comment/jfj16z4/ The visual transformation is this link. The internal transformation resembles it. Getting both done and maintaining that level is key. It's easier to fix the visual problem because you see it in the mirror every day, and can track the scale and the barbell. It is harder to fix the frame problem because in the beginning nobody enjoys sparring with your mirror/partner while tryi…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/25 11:19 AM
2

Feeling that I am worthy of the work required of me to achieve my goals That's a pretzel of holding yourself back
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/24 09:09 AM
11

You should definitely DEER more.
/r/askMRP28/11/24 05:18 PM
1

Ouch. How did you tear the tendon?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/24 07:24 PM
1

What's up with your bench? Is that volume a strategy?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/24 03:38 PM
2

Is it toxic to be a boyfriend that isn't a male girlfriend? What does that look like?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/24 10:01 AM
1

Hey at least you touched her butthole! I notice how woman avoid eye contact or flirty behavior in public places. with you. but I got almost no connection to my dick. why should your wife feel any different if this is how you feel? Why would she have emotions different from the ones you communicate? let her feel how hard I am before fading out. this is my first approach to build tension without pushing for sex immediately and so far it seems to work. It seems to work for not fucking! Putting asid…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/24 09:46 AM
2

“male girlfriend” rather than her boyfriend ... which leads me to present a front of niceness and agreeableness to try to make my way in the world and convince people I’m not a piece of shit, although deep down I don’t truly believe it due to internalised toxic shame. Think about how these connect.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/24 09:35 AM
2

Nice DEER you got there.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/24 04:18 PM
1

To me it doesn't look like you are being honest. It looks you are doing nothing.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/24 03:28 PM
1

No progress. Why are you here. Realised I still don't really know Why are you here. Still thinking about this. Why are you here.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/24 11:58 AM
2

I think my enjoyment is still tied to what results I’m getting. It seems counterproductive to dwell on the results that give me validation, but maybe we do need some of that to give us motivation that we’re going in the right direction? Stuck in the canyon. I'll throw you my rope. The are are two threads. The first is to add things outside the grind that you enjoy. This is the thread of "do you even like your wife", "see male friends", "go on an adventure", "be more selfish and dumb". Are you st…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/24 11:53 AM
1

The interesting part is why she is confronting / shit testing you. Must be feeling anxious to have a husband as spineless and afraid as you.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/24 11:41 AM
1

You are evaluating yourself based on one woman's emotions. Tail wagging the dog. You even built a scoring system for giving her power over your mind.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/24 11:17 AM
2

I'll be abandoned. Always have been.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/09/24 10:39 AM
2

she is very attractive and at the peak of her SMV. Young girls are young. This isn't special. You have plenty of time to break a few eggs to make an omelette. I also fear that if I don’t have sex with her she won’t be attracted to me and won’t pair bond with me, and therefore the relationship will fall apart and I’ll be abandoned. Why are you worried about pair bonding? Is there a reason you think you need this?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/09/24 10:18 AM
1

You're rationalizing why it's still not easy and fun.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/24 11:53 AM
1

Your confidence in being incorrect is embarrassing.
/r/askMRP20/09/24 11:51 AM
1

I tried to find your OYS1 but it seems like you're not posting weekly like you should? Why is that? This is as much energy as I am willing to put in for you to connect the dots: " Areas where I've misinterpreted 'leading' as doing everything myself, instead of delegating or bringing the rest of the family along with me (in other words, I've turned myself into the family plough-horse rather than the pack leader). "
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/24 11:50 AM
1

What are your lifts?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/24 11:32 AM
1

50 OYS in, are you having fun with any of this? Or is it still Professor disciplined, stoic, and dominant.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/24 11:16 AM
1

I've been given a project which is a bit of a poisoned chalice Seems like a pattern. Who gave it to you, why did they give it to you, and why did you take it.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/24 11:12 AM
2

I don't have time for a second plate anyway. No need to DEER yourself. Agree you shouldn't prioritize this, but you used this statement to excuse your OLD strategy not working.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/24 11:01 AM
3

Ahoy!
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/24 04:46 PM
8

The answer is "It's your fault" The faster you accept you have made all the choices that got you here, the faster you can make choices that can get you out.
/r/askMRP09/09/24 10:44 AM
1

2023 stats Cute.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/24 10:09 AM
3

My long term happiness trumps everything else on that list. Growth is required for me to feel this way. Abundance is required for me to feel this way. Inspiring others is not... It may be better off removed in this case. If you have abundance, others will be inspired If you are trying to inspire others, you will come off needy because you are
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/24 10:24 AM
3

Got shit tested about it, or at least I think it was a shit test. I Created a little bit of manufactured drama On the way to a family event my wife said she wants to do the "30-day challenge" Your wife is flirting with you, you could try flirting back.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/24 10:03 AM
1

Mission:Be comfortable being myself in all aspects of life while being an engaged member of the community, having fun and invest in mentoring the future, especially my children Your mission is to be comfortable and live to please others. Why are you surprised about the outcome?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/24 09:53 AM
3

Read: NMMNG, Models, WISNIFG, Frame, Dread Are you sure?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/24 09:50 AM
1

I can see you working to center yourself. That is good. It is the first step to creating your own point of view, your own frame. To stop treating yourself as an object, or as a recipient, and instead exercise your own agency. I bought the jeans because I wanted them. Really, this motion is what you need to learn. It makes you a more fun person to be around as well. The sidebar reading (NMMNG, WISNIFG) tells you this better than any comment. Even when you are conscious of this passive problem, lo…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/24 09:36 AM
1

I had a weight put underneath my heels while squatting My offer was accepted. I could tell there was enjoyment being with me that evening. a lot of extra effort was put into the house I have been joined by my LTR in getting up early in the mornings You write this in a passive tone. Things happen to you. The things that happen somehow have their own agency, and you, the recipient of those things, do not. Is that true? People take actions. Actions don't happen spontaneously.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/24 03:09 PM
1

This is only the case if you never lose control and are clamping down on what you are feeling and want. Find a way to let your emotion break through the prison you have put yourself in.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/24 03:05 PM
1

I don’t think my behaviour had much of an impact I don’t want to face the reality I try to ignore the feelings Hmm.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/24 01:41 PM
3

you should have some standards, why are you even with me. Life is too short. Sex, wife initiated. Sex, with wife initiating Who is taking action here? She plays you like a fiddle. Everything, like pain, can be turned to the flow of asking, from the asked, to the allowed resolution. Maybe this is how I can always feel good at any time. You haven't earned it. And you want to take the procrastination and move the goal posts so that your failure makes you feel successful. I have an endomorph body ty…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/24 12:06 PM
1

Put work in to do what?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/24 08:12 AM
2

think I have the best dick, the best erection and so on This is an insane thing to think. Trying to "have the best dick" while also "having erection problems" is a prison that you are putting yourself in. Just don't put yourself there? I encourage you to read this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_distortion
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/24 12:53 PM
4

Stats: 43, LTR 19y, 3 kids 10 to 4, 6’, 240lbs., 27% BF Navy, ASD, ADHD Lifts (AMRAP): SQ: 270x10; BP: 155x6; OHP: 95x9; DL: 255x15 Read: MMSLP Reading NMMNG (~75%) Read, and then re-read because I think I have a lot to absorb. Put thought into a few BFAs, lead to some insight about my mental models. Plan do to more BFAs this week. Fitness - Discovered GZSLP, looks better than what I was doing, so I've switched to that. Crushing it at the gym, loving it and feeling great. Addressed a previous is…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/24 12:35 PM
7

That's a lot of words, so many of which are about your wife. OYS is the set of actions you've taken last week. Can you edit your endless pontificating down to what you actually did? I have a really strong attachment to being smart, being knowledgeable or always being right. I often find myself opening my mouth to tell someone they are wrong (or, not entirely correct, or how they are ignorant of the facts) and in many cases I really lack tact and turn the person off (or, expose too much of my inn…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/24 02:25 PM
4

I monitor my interactions with everyone but especially my wife. I engage with them remembering first and foremost that this is a game and I must at least come away not-unattractive and ideally I am seeking to leave her with the right material to hamster. You are the dancing monkey for the whole world. Must be exhausting.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/24 02:22 PM
1

How about you stop overthinking it and do better so that you can respect yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/24 10:05 AM
1

You should put together a weekly spreadsheet of all instances that someone flirts with you. Make charts that are color coded by SMV ranking. Then schedule a recurring meeting with your wife to walk her through the report each Sunday as part of your needs wants checkin.
/r/askMRP22/04/24 10:26 AM
2

It's not your best. You can do better. Men have mastered far more under worse circumstances. You're just wallowing at the bottom of the pit. Start climbing. Anything that isn't you climbing out of the pit, you need to learn to mute.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/24 10:22 AM
2

I already feel close to my limit of what I can handle Tried hard I don't think I'm capable Is this shit-show the best you can do?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/24 01:36 PM
1

Do you like concerts? Or hiking? Or doing a group sport with friends? Or going to a new country for travel? Or building a gigantic sculpture made of ice? Or going to an art class? Or being a DJ? Or anything fun at all that involves other people, and not pressing dopamine addiction buttons in your brain?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/24 10:52 AM
1

interact more with the ladies and practice some game on them milady
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/24 05:00 PM
1

That's a lot of stuff you wanna do maybe sometime
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/24 04:58 PM
1

resentment mostly for being underappreciated You should direct that as anger at yourself for sucking, and use it as fuel to improve. Why don't you ignore your family for a bit and figure out one thing that makes you happy that you can do for yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/24 04:56 PM
2

Notice that you are being told what to do, while being humiliated, and you keep doing it. Sounds familiar?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/24 04:53 PM
3

My primary objective is to garner respect both at home and in the outside world. You're chasing the signal, not the thing that causes the signal.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/24 11:35 AM
2

Your level of attraction can be measured by how much of your cock she is putting in her mouth. What a great video game you're playing there. Get more points from your wife! The one magic person to control your self esteem and judge whether you are attractive. I should have remained funny and focused. https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/kxxe5j/initiations_youre_not_that_funny/
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/24 10:19 AM
2

I'm enjoying everything more Sometimes just noticing that you are enjoying something can make a large difference. As long as you don't bullshit yourself about it.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/24 10:11 AM
2

I recommend you find a PDF of the Unchained Man and spend time on the mission section there. I don't align with who the author is and what he wants. But I do like his framing on what a mission could be, and what a mission isn't. Short term goals with dependencies on others are not a mission, but a validation trap. There's nothing wrong with doing things that you enjoy and wanting to be better at them. But that is quantitatively different from what your motivations are and what drives you.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/24 09:50 AM
13

This is 95% thought/analysis and 5% action. Delete the thought and pretend epiphanies. Take action. Stop paying attention to your stories and the stories of those around you. Do fun things you like instead. Go to a concert. Grab a beer with a friend. Wander around in the woods. Lift real weights. Go to a rave. Climb a mountain. Build a skyscraper to the gods of capitalism. Walk on the moon. Conquer a new world. Dive to the bottom of the ocean. Not, "I noticed my masculine energy and got a hug".
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/24 11:58 AM
6

Fuck hot women, finish degree and increase GPA to 8/10+, find job which enables career advancement prospects , settle the divorce on good conditions. Your mission is to give your power away over to external factors you don't control
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/24 11:49 AM
5

However, I have injured (impinged?) my shoulder bench pressing. I shouldn’t be too surprised as I’ve had postural problems with shoulder/neck in the past. I won’t be benching for a bit and probably shouldn’t OHP. This is an opportunity to improve your technique, learn how to do active recovery, and practice resilience. The wrong thing to do is to stop cold.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/24 11:47 AM
4

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/kxxe5j/initiations_youre_not_that_funny/ Also, what does success look like to you.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/24 11:35 AM
3

What are your goals? Why are you here?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/24 11:01 AM
4

I am more actively involved in my kids' after-school activities and daily routines now but it feels more like choreplay and less like leading my family, which I believe comes back to lack of frame. I am actively involved in my kids' after-school activities because it is one of the ways that I have fun and play games with the world and my favorite people. I don't "lead" my kids in some aspirational roleplay. I pay attention to the texture of experience that playing with them provides me, and then…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/24 10:54 AM
4

I've started to feel like myself again. The other night, we went out with friends. I was center of attention, funny, dressed well. I was getting a lot of IOI from my buddy's gf. My girlfriend noticed. Later that night, I got the most intense and enthusiastic BJ of my life. Confirmed AWALT. Yum validation treats for good boy
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/24 10:50 AM
2

It is harder to motivate yourself to get somewhere if you don't know what lies over the hill and why you are going there.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/23 11:18 AM
2

I'm tired of seeing my old interns get better jobs than me. What are they doing that you aren't?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/23 11:16 AM
1

Yep, though I would emphasize this You can direct your attention to the sensation of the feelings in your fingers, the texture of the hair, the softness of the body. And let go of this checking how the other person responds, whether they lean in or withdraw, whether they judge or approve.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/23 10:26 AM
2

But I feel like I am regressing and losing frame. I feel like I really want to fuck. As in, I want a harem to pleasure me, I want love and freedom all the time, with ready women on tap as desire springs forth. Threesomes, never ending variety. Impregnating hundreds of women. I want to feel worthy for this. And then I get disappointed and rage because it's so far off what is reality. It is driving me crazy. In your first OYS you said you wanted a mega yacht and a trillion dollar company. And that…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/23 03:46 PM
3

A lot of thought and little action. You deleted an app, bought a scale, and made a two by two matrix.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/23 03:33 PM
1

Yea, but why though?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/23 03:22 PM
1

You need to start living again. What is one thing that you can make into a practice, that you won't ever fuck up, and that can be an anchor in your life? There is a lot of rumination in your writing. Simplify it down 90% to things you did and how it went.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/23 01:32 PM
2

she wanted me. I noticed how my sex drive is raw and clear, no confusion, I could fuck the girl and have a great time doing it, 100% in my frame. With my wife it’s confused. I’m trained to seek her approval. This week I’m going to take on just fucking my wife for the pleasure of fucking her. In my frame, for my pleasure. Imagine you touch a person with purpose. You can direct your attention to the sensation of the feelings in your fingers, the texture of the hair, the softness of the body. Or, y…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/23 01:26 PM
1

Most often what happens is that as my wife approaches orgasm, I do too. This doesn't work for me. I usually blow first. Only rarely do we both get there from intercourse. So our pattern is for me to go down on her. You might be creating a logic pretzel here with imagined standards. Does she enjoy you losing control? Does she regret that you're not lasting longer?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/23 11:53 AM
2

That's a pretty big financial liability you have to support. Again, what's your target goal with this business and how far can you take it? Do you need to make $1 million? $5 million? More? Before you walk away from it. Build the financial plan around your cashflow, invest thoughtfully, and retire yourself. Can you supercharge the fiction even more to make money faster, or cut your expenses more, so you get out of it faster? And if you weren't doing this, what would you do?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/23 06:19 PM
3

Assuming this isn't fiction. Can you make enough to retire? Do you have a goal of net worth that can be accomplished using this approach? How soon? For what purpose are you making money? Why not use the other 20-40 hours you have a week to explore things that make you feel productive and of which you are not embarassed? With the writing, you have discovered that products are better than services commercially. Becoming a tattoo artist, or most professions selling your time, doesn't seem like a go…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/23 01:20 PM
3

All I can do is point out what I see, which is living in the future and lots of talking about goals.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/23 04:42 PM
1

I think you are fogging me? There is a reason me and others have pointed this out to you. Accept the feedback.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/23 02:03 PM
3

NMMNG and WISNIFG are a good read for this. You are living in the far future, in the "should" and "could" of life. Your expectations are projections of what you "should" be due, if you perform certain actions. Instead of "should", creating goals and wallowing in and around them, focus on action and doing now. The absurd 5 year timeline you put into your career goal suggests just how much covert contract you are placing on yourself, delaying action by 5 years. Validation seeking through sex is, i…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/23 02:01 PM
1

I watched a video a few days later and realised in hindsight that I should have just pushed and fucked her on her period. What video?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/23 11:36 AM
1

Your motivation is to take credit for things you haven't done, and feel good about it.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/23 11:32 AM
2

Nice nagging bro
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/23 11:25 AM
4

229lbs (-0 this week There is nothing else on your to do but this. Why would you reward yourself with drinking, sexual fantasy, or the pretend illusion of leading anything until you have the bare minimum discipline to get this right. You criticize others because you are insecure and looking in the mirror truthfully is too painful. You even pretend criticize yourself without actually feeling embarassed about your failure.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/23 11:18 AM
3

currently working in a system with my main career and side project that works for me. An equilibrium can become stasis and stagnation if you don't use it as a platform from which to explore further. Your looking at shiny jobs is probably a signal to you that you're bored, anxious, or something isn't working. It's a way to feel good about what you could have without doing anything about it.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/23 11:15 AM
3

Get promoted to director before 2028 That's a nice expectation I expect less sex than when circumstances are ideal like they were this week That's a nice expectation Then what is Game for? Female sexual availability (and unavailability) is real. Thus we use Game so that we "get" to fuck. That's a nice expectation It felt like striking a killing blow to validation seeking through sex Hmm.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/23 11:11 AM
2

It is possible to recover from your position. Read the above comment over and over again, it is correct. Hiding in your room is a mistake. She is beating you up with her emotional tools, and you are bewildered and confused, taking it, and being nagged into a submissive place. She is not the only woman in the world, and her not being attracted to you is different from women not being attracted to you. Focus on the latter. As for game, how about you pick a fun physical activity for you (climbing, …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/23 11:05 AM
2

Stop consuming. Create someting new.
/r/askMRP04/12/23 11:46 AM
3

Christmas sweets You are no longer allowed to eat any simple sugars. Nothing, no dessert. Until you weigh 85kg. Make it a rule and then you don't have to decide or consider cheating.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/23 11:28 AM
5

I’m killing the idea How has repressing your desires worked out so far?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/23 11:17 AM
8

In other words, my self-narrative stories are boring, immature, and predictable. Says the guy who figured out how to put data tables into his OYS
/r/MarriedRedPill21/11/23 12:53 PM
2

"I feel you need sex from me" Don't fall into a pattern where you compete with the baby for your mommy.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/23 04:19 PM
2

I focused so much on getting my steps right, rather than just letting go and enjoying the dance. Practice gives the structure for improvisation. Improvisation brings freedom. Freedom brings gratitude. ​ when I went out to bars, my intentions drifted to interacting with women Shouldn't hunting be fun? You don't have to enjoy the flora, when you are seeking the fauna. But you can.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/23 04:13 PM
1

in service of a future for my family Three things wrong here: (1) in service, (2) to a future, (3) for my family. Think (1) for fun, (2) now, (3) for yourself. I imagine you are going to keep spinning about what your wife thought or almost / mabye did. Some of that anxiety can't be helped, physically. You are better off processing that and getting to a place where it isn't the only song in your head.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/23 04:10 PM
3

You’re projecting a sort of profound sexual salvation on some horny teenagers. Yeah, youth is beautiful and fun, and a path you’re missing. But what you saw in those eyes is your own sucking wound for validation, not the meaning of life.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/23 08:40 PM
2

On reading your history, I don’t like it. I think she is gaslighting you and not only getting off on your submission but also on some version of cuckolding. Emotional or otherwise. The power struggle is to show you who is in charge. Maybe it’s a shit test and flirting, but I personally would just focus on SFTU, lift, lose weight, have fun on your own. There is a non zero chance you’re a controlling idiot who made a mountain out of a mole hill. Then still you need to drop the neediness and valida…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/23 08:17 PM
1

I’m thirsty but I won’t drink water. What’s wrong with that?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/23 05:57 PM
3

You’re being pretty fragile here. You can always just walk away and not participate. But you finally got her to feel something. And you also liked some of it. Can she open up to you about her sexuality without your ego defense about yourself? Have you read Practical Female Psychology? If you’re sexually incompatible, that’s a good enough reason to next. Maybe she’s making the best of a shit situation.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/23 05:54 PM
1

Get out of her head and get into your own. You can take the bait and forcefully take control, because that's how you respond to being teased and humiliated. Or use your imagination and do something else. You don't get to touch her, but you come on her face because that's what happen to naughty girls who tease grown men. Or you just stop and leave the room, because you are not enjoying how you are being treated and don't like this type of sex. You always have a choice.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/23 11:46 AM
3

She wanted me to make myself cum, she let me grope her and feel her up and squeeze her and I had my hand around her throat as hard as I could squeezing while she was telling me how wet she was. It was actually quite a turn on. I tried so hard to fuck but that was out of the question. She made herself cum next to me while I did myself. After that I felt a little ashamed but it was still hot at the time. It feels like some sick power play. Why did this make you feel ashamed? What stopped you from …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/23 11:28 AM
2

This tendency will lead me back to consuming 8+ cups a day You are frying your system, which is messing with the reward loop from goal achievement. Part of why you might be chasing extreme outcomes is because you can no longer feel normal ones. Detox.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/23 11:22 AM
3

We are like plants that grow in the soil, over time. But you can walk to where you want to root, take in those experiences, and grow from and through a direction of your choosing.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/23 11:18 AM
1

Sounds reasonable. You didn't like your LTR enough to deal with the risk of moving somewhere you didn't want to be, and she wasn't so fantastic that it was better than your readily available options. Sexual compliance is easier with new women / some women are just more freaky and require less training Yep, my experience as well. All mountains have peaks and a view, but some are steeper and less fun to climb.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/23 12:40 PM
1

It's okay to know where you are (even if far away), because then you can measure how far you have to go, figure out the ways to get there, and start going. The other way is to be lost and stumble around in the darkness.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/23 12:35 PM
1

I'm not making the claim you think I am. The sidebar will tell you.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/23 12:33 PM
1

The Puritan work ethic. I work therefore I am good. The nice guy routine. I please therefore I am owed. For me, it’s pursuing my goals based on intrinsic motivation, which then manifests pleasure, happiness, bounty, gratitude. I have trouble pushing against multiple fronts at the same time, but can manage 2 or 3, and then cycle between my priorities. The error would be to think you’re bad, because you’re not doing an externally respected “mission”. Not keeping up with the Joneses. Keeping my foo…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/23 08:44 PM
1

Who decides if you are good or bad? Who judges your behavior to be moral or immoral? Who tells you how to live your life? Who are you trying to impress? Where does your validation come from?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/23 08:33 PM
1

Fear of what? Can you see beyond the issue of 20 year old women here?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/23 08:32 PM
1

You could leave this whole conversation or exploration to a future better you, if you think right now the dynamic doesn’t support it. Or that you suck too much. Become the better you. But don’t turn that into another covert contract.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/23 08:30 PM
1

That cunty no also came after almost a full day spent helping her with shit around the house. Not a covert contract on my part – I didn’t do that stuff for her, and not in order to get sex but because it was grown-up shit that needed to get done. Still, the thought came to my mind that she would have to be a real bitch to deny me sex after that performance on my part. She still did. Your "not covert contract" is a covert contract. You are not owed sex. You are not owed performative orgasms to ma…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/23 11:34 AM
1

I'll have to deal with my disorganized thinking, Instead of "SHOULD THINK" try "DO".
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/23 11:29 AM
1

You don't have to be turned on by bad sex.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/23 11:23 AM
1

You are doing everything you can to not be your own judge. Wife shit tests me, I fail it by losing frame, and end up apologizing and promising to do x, y & z. Cringey beta. Even though she doesn't fuck you, mommy is in charge of you. Makes me feel great and it helps to realize that only God can judge me. You are excited to let some spirit judge you, as long as it's not you owning your shit and making up your own fucking mind on how to live. Long term, I want to demonstrate being a physically fit…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/23 11:19 AM
1

I stayed back and didn’t get involved How's this working out for you?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/23 11:13 AM
1

I felt hurt from the effort I had put in. At the moment I couldn’t recognize the covert contract, failed a shit test, and we fought. Next morning, I talked to her and made my point that I wanted to have sex every day. You're unattractive.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/23 11:10 AM
1

I did not meet my calorie deficit goal, but a deficit nonetheless. Weight goes up, can’t explain that. I can explain. It was a calorie surplus and you are bad at math.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/23 11:08 AM
2

In one attempt to initiate, my wife gave a hard rejection, which I asked about. I know verbal intercourse is optional and I also know she is well aware that I desire sex, nonetheless, I wanted express this in words and hear her response Anything you do after a rejection is a response to the rejection, and a measure of where you are. Asking why, or threatening, or arguing, or passive aggression is one (stupid) path. She'll miss me when I'm gone! I do think there are productive questions to ask, b…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/23 11:04 AM
1

Congrats on your freedom. I am curious, what was it about your LTR that you did not like which led you to nuke it? Once you saw variety from going out and meeting other women, how did that effect you?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/23 10:48 AM
1

What does it mean to you to (1) have your foot on the gas and (2) let off the gas
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/23 09:22 AM
1

Her mom set you up on a date that you turned into a covert contract?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/23 08:15 PM
1

I agree in regards to marginal returns. Learning curves are fun at the beginning, and then at some point the juice is no longer worth the squeeze. Often one learning curve, when mastered, opens up another. I ask myself, I am satisfied according to whom? If me, then OK, milk the gains. If an external standard, then chisel away at why I have internalized this standard. If I am using pretend satisfaction as a distraction from actual dissatisfaction, then it is a growth opportunity.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/23 11:41 AM
2

Are you in control of the things with which you are satisfied? Or have you settled for being satisfied with what you have because you can’t improve?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/23 07:42 PM
1

What is a cool dad, or a cool guy, or a cool kid? Who decides? What does that mean? Why are you trying to be cool? To kids?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/23 08:05 PM
3

I like the parts of your OYS where you talk about what you have done. Even if you failed after trying. I don’t like the parts of your OYS where you talk about things you haven’t done. Don’t think and don’t say you will do things. Just do things that make you happy.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/23 08:01 PM
1

If your OYS is boring, why is that?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/23 07:44 PM
4

You eat too much food and medicate with cheap dopamine. To cover up your failure hole. Ego is the lid. The failure hole is in the past. Stop being scared of being yourself. It starts with basic self respect, evidenced by self control.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/23 07:42 PM
1

I was guilty of providing this level of oversharing. Now it’s pretty clear to me that nobody wants to read that shit. Is this an OYS or an attempted brag about overcoming your PE?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/23 05:43 PM
2

Agree with you that OYS is a good step. I'm not advocating that you follow through or abandon flirting. Just noticing that 2 years is a long time to be actively on the fence, which goes to the "why" and what new actions you are taking.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/23 11:39 AM
3

Congratulations, you have discovered a covert contract. Go back to start and do not collect $200.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/23 11:38 AM
1

I give value, I get value? Am I reading you right?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/23 11:31 AM
1

What makes you feel like giving something
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/23 11:07 AM
1

At the bottom of all my repressed butt hurt covered with a patina of pretend DNGF was this idea: that if I love her she owes me some shit, and that if I love her I have obligations. My wife does not owe me shit and I don’t owe shit to her. Now let’s play. I like this. Next step. What are you going to do when you offer her gifts for your own pleasure, but she still doesn't give a fuck or is lazy about it?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/23 09:14 AM
2

Structure helps prevent emotional swings, rabbit holes, and helplessness. Structure your writing and your preparation for the future.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/23 09:06 AM
2

6’0” and 170lb And Diet - 2050 Calories / 120G Protein Target. Struggling to hit protein targets / off by about 20-30 grams daily. Must cut carbs/sugars/fats and just boost protein intake. Successfully staying below calorie targets. In my previous posts I was off about my weight, but I now weigh myself daily every morning after bowel movement.I also weigh my food to the gram as I was previously overeating and misunderstanding my actual macro intake due to the estimations. Tracking with LoseIt. M…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/23 08:50 AM
4

I was impressed by your practice of game at first. You are taking action! But then I noticed you said "over two years". It looks like you have been torturing and cockblocking yourself for a while. Or you aren't internalizing that you are attractive enough. Are you doing this to fix the feelings your wife has created in you? I was simply attracted to them and wanted to practice some of the game theory I read about. I was also curious to see how difficult it would be to replace my wife if I really…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/23 08:27 AM
1

Myfitnesspal and 1,800 calories a day for 3 months.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/23 09:37 AM
4

My mother-in-law is single and my wife is her only child. That makes me a man of the whole house. Would you throw this opportunity away? Me not. I just don’t own my shit to be a proper man of the house. What does this even mean? Have you internalized WISNIFG?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/23 09:21 AM
2

The porn makes me less horny I guess. You are preventing yourself from getting so frustrated that you actually fix your life. sometimes the word divorce gets thrown around or “I can’t do this anymore”. it’s usually to do with my mother, they can’t stand one another, wife says my mother is abusive (she does like to criticize). Now my mother won’t speak to me, and I’m somewhat okay with it for the time being Cool how you have two nagging mommies now
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/23 09:05 AM
1

Everyday feels like my ego is on life support as I vacillate between being a man whose going to get shit done and being the small helpless boy whose life can be snuffed out at anytime by the people around me. Can you think of just 1 thing at which you are competent, which you enjoy, which is not addictive, and which does not involve all of your horrible relationships and self-imposed chronic pain? If yes, do that more. Protect it. Grow it like a flame.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/23 08:56 AM
1

wealth I have a feeling this is a difficult word for you.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/23 08:49 AM
3

sex to cope with feelings of inadequacy, Interesting. I just want to fuck all the time this past week. I wonder why. Sex has dried up with only 1x again this week and 1 unsolicited bj This must be so fun for her. I get shot down when I initiate - and I initiate often. I wonder why. I have this entitlement inside. I'm not content Start paying down debts Get an even higher paying job You don't respect yourself because you judge yourself by the validation society gives you. To fill that hole, you t…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/23 08:47 AM
2

Now I’m very certain I’m my own biggest obstacle. I’m the one really holding myself back and sabotaging my own potential. Look how the mind tricks you. On paper, sure this makes sense and is a fair framing. But what does it even mean that you have potential, or that you are holding yourself back. Like, is there a fully fulfilled you that is realized, and some other you that is not realized, and some third you that is critisizing and nagging the unrealized you from becoming the realized one? What…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/23 08:42 AM
3

Losing weight is my focus over muscle I have a dad bod. Given where you are, it is likely that gaining muscle while losing weight, and then having that muscle help you lose more weight, is possible and better than just trying to will yourself into a diet. my son has similar traits. Like me he needs routine and patience. Are you sure this is a story you want to perpetuate? Will the world give you patience? Has shoving your head into routine helped you see your life falling apart? Or has it made y…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/23 08:36 AM
1

It took me years to be able to tell this to myself, and not spin up a hydra of self soothing bullshit.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/23 12:11 PM
2

You're still shifting the blame to your wife or making yourself a victim. It's alright to fuck up, it's alright to fix things. Don't get so stuck in destructive thought patterns as if they mattered.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/23 12:10 PM
2

To be a man that other men want to be Exactly. Especially if his goal is covert social comparison to others. This is an internal problem.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/23 12:06 PM
1

It contradicts your saying "the novelty of different pussy". I am wondering why you reframed it. Either, you are experiencing the pleasure of the world and are happy to pay the price. Or, you are looking for validation in the wrong places, because you have not taken charge of validating yourself. Running away from this latter problem and trying to address it by being unattractive with another woman doesn't seem to be useful behavior.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/23 12:04 PM
1

I also noticed that I really loved getting the validation from this woman. I thought that I didn't need the validation - but it definitely felt like a drug to me. All of this was eye opening and a big wake up call. Are you sure?
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/23 01:27 PM
1

This powerpoint is missing a 2x2 matrix. I did shout at her about: stop interruping me, conversations are not monologues, and I'm tired of her fucking up the day because of things she's assuming or imagining rather than listening to what I or other people are saying. Then I told her I'm going to go work remotely for rest of day. I'm exhausted with her getting upset about things before she knows sufficient information to form an opinion on it. After some fights etc -- she apologized for how she w…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/23 01:20 PM
1

Why was it exciting for you to try and get a plate?
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/23 12:11 PM
1

You GET to be rejected! Play the game instead of hamstering.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/23 11:22 AM
2

You are a perfectionist, because you are scared of failure. You are not at peace, but hiding behind performance. The world owes you nothing for the fact that you did your homework like a chump instead of being selfish and fun. Root this out. Be grateful for what you have and allow your faults to crack through your overpolished ego. This will allow you to live your life out of the shadow of your mental model of everyone else's judgment. The only person who can say you are enough is you, not your …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/23 11:18 AM
5

For me, it's a question of working on your weaknesses or your strengths. You max your strengths to differentiate and compete, and you fix your weaknesses to a baseline level that allows you to maintain self-respect. I'm the opposite of you. It's easy for me to max status and money, and hard for me to max alpha. Any time I spent on getting more status was wasted, because I needed to spend time on looks, game, frame. Frame came once I fixed my weaknesses. Looking at your results, it seems to me th…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/23 10:33 AM
4

You're maximizing sex and your appearance. Your confidence changes depends on how much sex you have with your wife. Your goal is special sex acts. You want full control of your sex provider, so that there is no chance for rejection. Meanwhile, you have not paid off your credit card or car. Do the things that are hard for you, not the things that are easy for you.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/23 08:52 AM
1

How about this. What is acting in "these situations"? Whose sitations? Starts with an F and ends in RAME.
/r/askMRP17/08/23 08:46 AM
5

(1) Helping financially and (2) fucking you well are two different levers. Don’t get them confused. One is about attraction, the other is about a helpful roommate. You want your wife to come out of the maze from the right exit. Also you’re giving her cuddles for behavior you don’t like, what results do you expect?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/08/23 03:28 PM
2

Now learn to let this go
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/23 12:04 PM
2

Why?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/23 02:16 AM
1

Results won’t come overnight, but change can be as rapid as you are able to cause. Plenty of people have it bad enough that they take a 180 degree turn. Others are more incremental and can get stuck polishing a turd.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/23 12:00 PM
1

Cook for yourself, fuck for yourself. I wonder if there’s some sort of culinary main event coming up in your future. The empty fridge post might do you wonders. https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/zdlia2/a_man_walks_up_to_an_empty_fridge/
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/23 11:20 PM
2

Well that’s all pretty depressing and no fun to be around. The epiphany that anger is fear is a good one. So what? Where are all the actions you took to build yourself happiness? Why would someone want to spend time around you? Would you want to spend time with you?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/23 11:13 PM
2

You are trying to break a habit and an addiction. The habit of covert contracts. The addiction to validation. It will take a long time, but you start by putting yourself first. One day you will wake up and not be a butthurt bitch about what you are owed. Speaking from experience.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/23 10:48 PM
2

You should argue with me, I’m just a random Internet stranger. Don’t defer to perceived authority, which I definitely don’t have, when it concerns something as personal as your life goals. I am saying that at OYS 4, you should be learning about yourself. That comes from the very, very basics. NMMNG and WISNIFG until you really understand. A fitness practice that is iron clad. Starting to socialize with strangers and talking to women to prove to yourself you’re not a social autist. Becoming attra…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/07/23 07:42 AM
4

No more than 7 drinks this week Two days this week with no porn Is this the best you can do?
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/23 01:49 PM
3

my goal should be to do the best job leading my household and family that I can do Your goals aren't real, you haven't done them. Do things instead. By saying "should" you are guilting yourself into a standard through a covert contract. Why should your goal be something? Who says it should? Doing the "best job" like a trained performer. If you do your best, you will get a good grade from a person in charge of you? Leading a household and family, putting others ahead of yourself. Versus living fo…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/23 01:36 PM
3

People in our area that go to the mosque are quite judgmental and materialistic, but I realized that avoiding this and letting it affect me is more nice guy behavior. You are watching for the danger of other people having negative opinions, especially those that are socially amplified. I learned from NMMNG that not accepting help and not being a burden is a way of hiding flaws and imperfections and avoiding making others unhappy or burdening them Making others unhappy would expose you to the opi…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/23 01:30 PM
2

For me, it's about the nature of the OYS sharing and then the feedback you would get here. So, for example, if I spent some time to think about my goals (not to be confused with my mission) and then wrote about my goals, the response from this forum is "you didn't do anything, you just had thoughts". And I used this forum as a way to motivate myself into action, rather than go into my usual mode of thinking and planning as a distraction from action. The other point is that articulating a goal ma…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/23 12:40 PM
2

Yes, it reveals that your “mission” is in her frame, to the extent that your existential reason for existence is to amuse her and be her dancing monkey. And even the perfect dancing monkey lives in a cage and has no agency. WISNIFG and NMMNG. Do things that make you feel like a selfish asshole and watch the world not care, and often part the seas for you.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/23 05:30 AM
1

Don’t track goals in OYS, only what you actually did. And then do the things.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/23 05:27 AM
3

I’m excited to see your progress because holy shit. So much room for personal growth. You don’t want to use your career numbers for validation. It won’t help. Do you think reminding yourself of your salary helps with growing a backbone? Salaries are allowances from those with power over you. What do you mean by 1000 lb club? Is that a goal?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/23 07:38 PM
2

Your mission is to energize your wife? Can you tell me why that’s wrong?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/23 07:27 PM
10

When you are re-calibrating, this is a real sticking point. You're cutting out your codependency and trying to remove neediness and validation seeking behaviors, and when you do, you feel the coldness of what remains and it is uncomfortable. And you don't know how to make yourself happy out of the bad habit of relying on others to make you happy. So then you get into the accounting of the power dynamics and micro-managing your own attention and will. The way out for me was to shift focus away fr…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/23 11:10 AM
2

That's a chocolate starfish
/r/askMRP18/07/23 11:01 AM
2

I keep trying to rationalise that I’m ok and my situation isn’t that bad. I make ok money, have two great kids, am in good health and have a “loving” wife. Thinking about what you have is not the same thing as doing what you are. By doing, you become the sum of your practices. You are trying to prop up your ego by counting the things in your basket. Then you think how unsatisfying the things are. The way out is just to do, like listening to your favorite music, lifting weight and becoming strong…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/23 02:42 PM
6

Your mission, or imagined state, sounds like the imagination of a teenager. You do nothing of meaning, get taken care of by mommy, and push some buttons on a machine that releases dopamine to you. Your reward for being good all these years, climbing that beta career ladder for approval, is to have a day off to play. You are going to drown in anger if you don't figure out how to make your current life one of play and creativity for yourself, right now. Wherever you go, there you are. Retire into …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/23 02:31 PM
1

Guilty for wanting, guilty for saying. Angry for not getting, not “deserving”. Nobody owes you, and you don’t owe them. How do you attract choices in your favor?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/07/23 03:13 PM
1

When I solicit head I feel guilty
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/23 03:46 PM
1

Don’t write more in the comments. Control yourself. Also, if you’re not wanted around, why are you staying around? Why aren’t you doing something where you’re wanted or adding value to yourself? Dread isn’t to be created for the purpose of a covert contract but as a side effect of being a worthwhile person.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/23 03:44 PM
1

Great comment.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/23 03:34 PM
3

Power and social status can definitely matter, in my experience. If you’re attractive and at the top of the hierarchy, that’s an amplifier of both. If you’re unattractive and think the hierarchy can replace that, you’ll be perceived as creepy, needy, and coercive. If you’re attractive / alpha and at the bottom of the hierarchy, you get laid regardless.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/23 07:16 PM
3

On my intent. I enjoyed my reading of Iron John, and connect to the idea that human stories are a packaging of social patterns into things that our minds will remember. We need plot, character, and arc in order to imprint the thing to be remembered onto our minds. But the things underneath the stories, those things that recur, they are the shape of our society and inter-relationships. Maybe it's too much Peterson quackery, but still there is some truth that myths are real patterns. I've been pla…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/23 04:03 PM
1

I wonder if it is an accident of your writing, or intentional. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echo_and_Narcissus Narcissus and Echo have been intertwined for millenia.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/23 11:53 AM
1

I can just see how the respect dwindles from everything Do you respect yourself? I failed in planning and leading a weekend trip that I had promised to take charge off. You can see how this would dry out just about any pussy No, you don't. Would you fuck yourself? my own libido hasn't been very high, so I haven't initiated very much. But there is still something I feel like I am owed that I can't seem to reach No, you wouldn't. Why would anybody owe you anything? Progress will still be made and …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/23 11:49 AM
6

Make your default mode to create, rather than to consume. As you get better at creating, your mind will form a meaning and an identity around that.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/23 12:44 PM
1

Sounds like you’re doing it all for her, it’s not working, and you don’t like her for it. She’s too busy mothering the 1 year old to mother you as well.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/23 09:10 AM
1

Sometimes initiating into what you know is a rejection can be very useful. Teaches you to play with the rejection. It’s not about sex but your confidence.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/23 09:03 AM
3

Your past achievements don’t matter. Your ego is generating endless hamster spinning with detail that doesn’t matter. You’re obsessing over status and signalling instead of being internally driven. I like how much time you’re spending outdoors though. Spend that time practicing STFU.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/23 08:55 AM
2

This reads like you’re trying to control and process everything and are overwhelmed by the choices and complexities of the world. You can’t predict everything, let go of the neuroticism. At the same time, your feedback from the world for your brain computer is how your LTR or your friends feels. It’s all about maximizing the algorithm of social performance, not living life. In other words, dancing monkey robot.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/23 08:49 AM
2

Are you stable or volatile? Which does she reflect back at you? Do you reward her volatility with feelz and dancing around?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/23 08:43 AM
6

It’s the ChatGPT version of an OYS. I mean, talking to your cheating wife about Arnold’s love child at a steakhouse for Father’s Day is next level bullshit.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/23 08:40 AM
1

When you have nothing planned, do you enjoy that? What do you do for yourself when you have free time? The focus on planning things you like and inviting her is a good motivational trick with the right prioritization of yourself. But I wonder whether you have a solid core for how you are in the world in the first place. Or if it is all dopamine.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/23 08:30 AM
3

You’re fixing your PE and … your wife is less depressed.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/23 08:22 AM
3

Nobody cares about your plan. Least of all you, if you can’t trust yourself to execute it. Focus on doing things, on acting, and describe your results. Have practices that you like, instead of self guilting into obligations.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/23 08:30 AM
7

I would have a condom over my entire body in your situation.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/23 08:26 AM
4

You are using the pleasure of sex and the validation from women to mask over and medicate your failure to compete and succeed as a man in financial and labor markets. The tool of pussy abundance can’t fix your victim mentality of your career being sunk by other people. You have to use different tools for that purpose. Sounds like that wound is so deep it shows up everywhere else. It’s like you’re wondering why the dessert you’re eating every night isn’t giving you the protein for muscle growth. …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/23 08:22 AM
5

Expecting the world to spread for you if you acquire the qualities of what you believe is a HVM is a covert contract. It leads to signalling, chasing status, and feeling the lack of what you think you are due. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it, since it can work quite a bit, I say from experience. Having the world spread for you because you are congruently, actually a fucking awesome person, HVM label or otherwise, is inevitable. Pure attraction. I think this requires vulnerability and an open he…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/23 08:07 PM
12

You’re reactive and hurt, I get it. Lashing out at women for being women. Lashing out at me for pointing out that that you’re following your anger to play a game your wife set, rather than your own game. Protecting your ego by barking up a storm. It’s wrong to say that anyone that causes you to change your behavior is setting the frame. If you believe this and go “where the wind takes me”, the outcome you will get is powerless bouncing around.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/23 05:38 AM
8

I have a reflection for you that may be off the mark. Over time I’ve identified a distortion in my mind. It goes like this “because I am smarter, am more creative, and work harder than others, I deserve a proportionately larger reward from the world as a result of my work”. Substitute better fitness, more female attention, whatever. I had a recurring covert contract with the world about what it owed me because of my effort. Of course that’s not how the world works. My effort or talent is not the…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 08:44 PM
1

Let me rephrase then — you misunderstood since I was unclear. What does your frame consist of? I see lifting and sex, and that there are some things you want to improve. Not a man with a mission doing interesting things, attracting the world.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 08:00 PM
1

Focusing on what you like is an improvement. The goal isn’t just to hit numbers or fuck, but to be happy and grateful and making progress. Being dependent on those in order to be happy is a trap. That said, changing your strategy every week in response to how other people react suggests an unstable frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 01:05 PM
1

Don’t put your balls in her court. Any of them.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 12:55 PM
1

I like this as a field report. You tried a thing and got the results from the thing. Shame it took you so long to realize. What was the final straw?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 12:44 PM
1

At that age and no kids, you are still on easy mode. What about you do you think is unattractive?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 10:57 AM
1

What is it that you want to change in your marriage? What do you mean by frame?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 10:55 AM
7

Trying to heal a sexual betrayal with revenge validation. She’s setting the frame for him.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 10:53 AM
8

I am not sure that the default Reddit user on a forum about their failing marriages needs more thought provoking discussion. They need to act, and the caricature LARPing is the fastest path to calibrating. Shoot for the stars get to the moon. And it has evidence of working. That said, the counter factual is /deadbedrooms so you know that’s always an option.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/23 05:04 PM
1

It’s probably placebo but have you tried Tongkat Ali?
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/23 09:33 AM
3

Do you understand the concept of lifting?
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/23 09:29 AM
2

I like that you are fixing your expenses, playing music, and have a cool activity with the kids. I also like that you’re initiating into rejection to de sensitize yourself. Remember if dealing with your wife isn’t something you like, you don’t have to do it, and you remove your time. If she does things you do like, then tell her overtly. Also, If you don’t like or want sex, fucking you probably sucks.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/23 09:26 AM
2

What fun and enjoyable thing are you actually doing for yourself? Is recursive hamstering about whether to OYS and how your phone works making you happy?
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/23 09:21 AM
1

Do you feel guilty when you aren’t working? Is there a trophy case in your house?
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/23 09:17 AM
10

Sounds like the fuel you got was anger. Would coddling have worked better? I spent years with a “back injury” feeling sorry for myself and whining about pain. Over the time here, my slow physical progress has been ridiculed and questioned every week. So what, now I’m stronger than I’ve ever been and that’s still at novice numbers. People in the outside real world give me all the validation and actual benchmarking I need to compare to the average slob. I wouldn’t know my weakness without being to…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/23 09:08 AM
2

Get the archetype into your mind and LARP it. It will add up over time.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/23 08:17 PM
2

There's something about the way you are telling the story to yourself that is strange to me: I got asked by my LTR if ... I was met with some shit tests ... I was told it was a problem ... I got the "you used to be so much nicer" Maybe you are trying to avoid saying "She asked me", but this comes off to me as passive. As if life is happening to you and you are just there waiting for it, receiving its mysterious experience. Or here I have to be patient before ... I have to continue until it becom…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/23 02:47 PM
3

I'll take the other side from u/FutileFighter and say that planning sex by knowing what you want can be constructive regardless of frequency. Some people want mutual exploration, some people want to be led on emotional journeys. Both are fun. If part of your issue is that you don't know what you want and just fumble around, then you will enjoy your sex more by targeting a particular experience you want to have. That's different from doing something with a lot of moving parts and stressing over w…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/23 10:29 AM
3

I was told that I looked happier than I have in 15 years. ​ I've gotten some surprisingly good reactions from people when I do manage to say something. Are you the judge of your progress? Even when doing better, you seem to be giving away your frame to anyone who will take it.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/23 10:15 AM
5

What would it be like if your gift of sex liberated your woman to feel alive and happy, letting her anxiety recede as she melts onto your body? What kind of man gives this to the world? How would you initiate this type of sex? Would it be you begging mommy for some pussy with polite statements and questions?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/23 10:12 AM
1

I am having trouble putting my finger on it, but I don't like your internal self talk here. It makes sense that you want to avoid toxic people who would abuse your trust. It is alright to be open and vulnerable to people at first, because the world is abundant and you can make your experience grow. But if someone behaves in a way that is damaging to you, that is crossing a boundary. Your job is to understand yourself to develop boundaries, and then enforce them. But the world is not black and wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/23 10:08 AM
2

Is “asking for sex often” what an attractive man does?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/23 07:27 PM
1

Who defined what honor is for you? Is it about self-sacrifice? Why do you put it on a pedestal?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/23 07:17 PM
4

play the cool musician all day I am wearing a mask called cool musician Last week was all about facing my reality There is another mask called reality that I am looking to wear I did not face my reality completely and still gave myself ways out In the past, I could not switch characters I made peace with the fact that I have to get a job to support myself I am not comfortable doing the basics of having a job to support myself. I see it as a personality label, a thing I have to pretend to do. But…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/23 09:44 AM
2

I’m impressed by your results, but not surprised by them given how much work you have put in. One thought is that your journey is a swing to feast from famine. What do you want long term normal to look like? Maybe it’s this? Something both of you may need to know to settle into the win-win and throw out the scoreboard.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/23 07:28 PM
2

I agree that self-management is important, especially if you’re going in a productive direction. You can fall into the mistake of hitting other people’s goals, or deciding to be a nice guy to your own projection (pleasing an imagination of yourself). The structure of “I’m telling myself to do this” is empowering at first, but a crutch later. That you’re telling yourself to donate to an institution you hate in order to hit these goals suggests to me you’re not loving the process. When I enjoy the…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/23 08:00 PM
6

Just to echo what others are saying, your Dignity or Comfort distinction doesn’t make sense. Staying in a marriage where your wife cucked you doesn’t sound like “comfort”. It sounds like huge, self-hating low self esteem discomfort. One way to have dignity is to be comfortable in your own skin, not carrying around other people’s bullshit. Your writing is in response to her actions and full of your emotions about the situation. Find a frame shift or you will drown.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/23 07:55 PM
3

Did you fail your goals because you did not do the right practice or did you fail your goals because they were too ambitious? What is the purpose of self punishment for arbitrary goal setting?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/23 10:45 AM
1

Do you feel like you have to convince yourself to get the basics done? Who is it inside you that you are convincing? Who would you be without music as an option?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/23 10:42 AM
1

TA boosts my energy for exercise and is also an aphrodisiac.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 08:55 PM
3

There’s a great quote from the book Iron John: Conscious fighting is a great help in relationships between men and women. Jung said, “American marriages are the saddest in the whole world, because the man does all his fighting at the office.” When a man and a woman are standing toe-to-toe arguing, what is it that the man wants? Often he does not know. He wants the conflict to end because he is afraid, because he doesn’t know how to fight, because he “doesn’t believe in fighting,” because he neve…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 08:48 PM
1

What would happen if you just told her the truth that you don’t want another kid? At least not right now? Are you afraid of her emotions? Do you actually know whether you want or don’t want this?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 10:51 AM
2

That’s a solid indication of interest in not being fat.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 10:46 AM
1

Your mission states a self-criticism but isn’t a mission.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 10:41 AM
1

On the upside, we learned a lot about his wife this week. Fascinating. It’s almost like he carries a fully modeled version of her in his mind so that the model can tell him how to live his life and remind him about that one time fucking up organizing the car.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 10:36 AM
1

You know all this. If you don’t push, nobody else will. Don’t talk, do. Being needy and giving instruction are different. When asked directly, share your frame fearlessly. If it is really not working, then make it work elsewhere. I had a moment when things were getting better and I thought I’d praise and anchor her in “more frequently just like this”. Got negative feedback here which was right. That would have squashed any desire that was being fanned with caretaking homework.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 10:29 AM
2

Lifting and losing weight may help your T naturally. Have you gone on a dopamine diet otherwise? Are there other behaviors you have that reward your brain for low effort? I’ve taken Tongkat Ali and like the effects. Not everyone does but works for me.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 10:17 AM
1

You think you know your wife. Do you know yourself? Does your wife know herself?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 10:04 AM
1

Are you feeling angry and adversarial? Why?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 10:01 AM
1

Two things stuck out to me. The first is your LTR enjoying the drama you created. A bit of a flare up here and there, showing some backbone, all contribute to the feelz. Which is better than boring and spineless. With increased exposure, your fear of her should recede, and the playfulness and teasing will be authentic instead of LARPing. The second is sex game planning. Without porn and masturbation, your imagination should eventually recover and turn back on. Sex can come back into the physical…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 09:58 AM
3

Fitness is not what is holding you back. I have been told many times here to head into things in which I am weak, rather than into those in which I am strong.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 09:46 AM
13

Are you asking Reddit for what your life goals should be? Why stop at how much easier life was as a single man? Maybe go back to elementary school. It was pretty easy to get that dopamine hit. Just follow the rules, do your homework, and get good grades. Spend the rest of your life getting those grades and pleasing others. Or go back to being a baby. When life is hard and you’re overwhelmed, mommy is there to make you feel better. Suck a tit, feel good. Spend the rest of your life searching for …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 09:01 AM
5

I don’t know if this is a helpful message for you, but it helped me in the question about whether to focus on my wife or put my sexual attention elsewhere once I started to experience some of what I wanted in my marriage. Or at least how to navigate the formation of my desires. Focus and attention are literally consciousness. When you pay attention to something, it grows in your mind and occupies it. 3KL pointed out how you pay attention to your wife, and most importantly in which way. You can a…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/23 09:03 AM
2

Read Sperm Wars if you want to 10x your paranoia.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/23 08:47 AM
1

Thanks for engaging on the topic. To me, you appear to have projected quite a bit of meaning into the words I've used. I haven't made the claims you dispute about what punishment (or the treat thereof) is, and I have left open exactly the point about behavioral models being different than rational actors in economics. That said, I don't want to litigate this. Figuring out what I want and articulating my boundaries clearly has been a source of freedom and strength for me. Perhaps it is different …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/23 01:45 PM
3

Have sex because it feels good and you like it. At least for a while. While you're not having sex, become less unattractive. Get out of your head about anything and everything else. "Our" means you are trying to model another person's sexuality. You're optimizing a hallucination, even while she is telling you so.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/23 10:27 AM
1

I like the questions the post raises about the arena, timing, and the audience. Are you playing against yourself, or you and your wife, or you and all women, or you and the world. Are you playing for the next day, the next year, decade, or your whole life? And the corollary that you can really only control yourself in the now in all scenarios.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/23 10:20 AM
1

what is it that you have added to FutileFighter's advice to redmateus? Is adding to advice in some particular way an obligation, something a person here *should* be doing? I've learned enough about covert *should* statements. I appreciate the norm here of sharing useful notes, because it creates a body of evidence collected at large for readers, which then leads others to deduce their own lessons. If I have a view that disagrees with someone's framing, it is useful to state so we don't fall into…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/23 10:15 AM
1

This is the game theoretical definition of a prisoner’s dilemma. It’s not RP theory but the reference for the words “finite game” and “infinite game”. I’ve made the point that the economic model falls apart when you introduce actual gendered human behavior. I find it misleading to borrow terms from a discipline and then project a different meaning on them. The idea that men and women are players in different “games” stands.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/23 07:01 PM
2

I know that our sexual intimacy, and at times emotional intimacy with me is not a priority for her now, and may never be. She has overtly said that it's not really something she is interested in. It's not important to her and she is happy with it. For whom is it a priority, and why? Is there a difference between "our" sexual intimacy and "my" sexual intimacy?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/23 04:10 PM
3

As a result even the 10s kiss is something that I have not been able to archive consistently. I want to get kissing back into foreplay, and therefore set about kissing her in short 2-3s periods, and then pulling away and continuing to talk. In the beginning of my process, I did something similar and it was awkward and weird. It's honestly very strange advice from the book, and makes you look autistic. 12 months later, the physical closeness is back fully, and I kiss her for a second or however l…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/23 04:05 PM
2

From a game theory perspective, this seems wrong to me. The way to win at Prisoner's Dilemma, i.e., for both of you to land in the good equilibrium quadrant, is if you have tit-for-tat as a strategy over time. She cheats, you punish, you cheat, she punishes. Then it will be credible that there is punishment, and so you both stay in the win-win quadrant. Nobody deviates because outcomes are clear and congruent. I think the lack of punishment is the perfect analogy for nice guy behavior. She cheat…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/23 03:56 PM
6

A month ago I made a pathetic and cloying request for sex and it set her off (and sent me to RP for the first time). Wife is fucking pissed at me. She is sick of me being a pussy and not taking what I want. Her attraction to me is at an all-time low. Not only did your wife have to have bad sex with a stoned drunken man, but she also had to direct that man on how to initiate the sex she did not like. She is literally fucking herself. At the start of MRP I was trying to come on to her a lot again,…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/23 03:49 PM
3

She is “doing sex for you and you can’t even perform” Horrible no good mental model of what sex is, both. Is the only thing you enjoy about sex your “performance”? Performance for whom? For you or for her? She doesn’t even like it. How do you want to touch a woman? If that doesn’t work, how else would touching a woman bring you pleasure? What is pleasure, and who is gifting what to whom? I personally benefitted from understanding The Wheel or Consent. It’s not sidebar material but important if y…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/23 02:04 PM
2

Is PIV the only way that people have sex?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/23 09:08 AM
3

I don’t think that now is the time to LARP a positive headspace, or bounce around blaming yourself for not being a dancing monkey for your wife. Get fucking angry and use that as fuel for systematic self-preservation. The journey ahead of you is long, but it should start with self respect. You say you “want to control” your life, instead your should just “control” your life. Asking for permission via ultimatum to do that makes no sense to me. Men make different choices here in regards to plates.…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/23 08:46 AM
2

As someone reading along, I found this helpful.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/23 08:33 AM
5

Did she give you the silent treatment or did you give her the silent treatment? Which one of you is responsible for creating this passive aggressive dynamic and allowing it to fester, like some sort of emotional yeast infection?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/23 08:27 AM
3

I like your update. That mental shift that says life is for living. There is no reason in being angry at the weather, but it is useful to know what the weather is so you can be prepared. Why didn’t mine do this and that? Because that’s how the weather responds to what you are. You can put yourself in it’s path, you can remove yourself and go elsewhere.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/23 07:10 PM
2

It did for me too. Glad it applied well to your life. The lesson is obviously transferable in retrospect: kids, careers, women.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/23 03:18 PM
2

All this is in your head. It is the planning of some abstract strategist. An autistic, self-undermining scientist. I have one just like you do, and he must be put aside for you to make progress. It has helped me to find my inner warrior. There is a physical energy in the body, which powers strength, sex, immersion, emotion, and feeling in the moment. It is animal power. Bring *that* to your hyper feminine artist wife, instead of the nice card.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/23 11:14 AM
2

What are those selfish fun things? Name them. Own them. Promote them. Put yourself on the pedestal you’ve built for others, which you have cloaked in the passive aggressive perfectionism of the Nice Guy.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/23 09:08 AM
2

As someone that prioritizes complex financial puzzles and capitalist adventure, I don’t find my family to be a blocker. If anything, they prevent my natural inclination to burn myself out through persistence. What you might be pointing out, or at least why I’m noticing, is the safety net feeling. When I had made less space for others in my life, I felt like I could really fall off whatever metaphorical mountain I was climbing. To the metaphorical death. That’s exciting. Having made more space in…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/23 09:06 AM
3

Happiness is a cookie the brain bakes for itself. I’d recommend keeping sarcasm out of OYS. It’s your ego undermining your attempt to see reality without bullshit.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/23 08:47 AM
2

Have you done anything fun for yourself lately? Just for yourself, nobody else?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/23 08:43 AM
3

Meshuggah
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 10:35 PM
2

I don’t mean how to get your kids to please you, but how to enjoy them yourself. In one reality, you can be annoyed at bringing them to school. They argue, ask repetitive questions, and try to push your buttons to get attention. One can decide this is annoying or challenging. In another reality, you are excited to bring them to school. It’s a game to race along, you can take pleasure in how clever they’ve become, and you appreciate their curiosity for the world, and how they are unfurling as peo…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 06:23 PM
3

Figuring out how to get the kids to unlock your joy, rather than trigger your anger, has been a large quality of life improvement for me. I had repressed my anger my whole life, and it came out as boiling frustration once I had children pushing my buttons in a way I couldn’t manage. I benefitted from using the 1-2-3 system (an escape valve for me, not them) and also by finding gratitude in their desire for my attention. Also, lowering my dopamine addiction (porn, games, money) has made them much…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 09:14 AM
4

Captain of the gym cafe protein shake.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 09:07 AM
6

Your post has a lot of anger and resentment. Separate those out and deal with each in turn. Are you comfortable with your anger? Who is angry and about what? How can you be angry but not be throwing a tantrum? What does attractive anger look like? Resentment is a result of covert contracts. You are not owed anything. And you don’t owe anything. Rather both can choose to benefit the other. Carrying resentment is a turn off for another person to give you first because it creates obligations and re…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 09:04 AM
3

I wonder if he deleted out so he could masturbate twice a day
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 05:22 AM
1

Thanks, glad to hear! Yep, I certainly have a bunch of excuses for my slow progress, including prior injuries in the back, shoulder, knees, etc. When I first got on OYS, I cut calories down to 2200 and lost weight, then went up to 2800 during 6 months of newbie gains, then up to 3200 and got a bit fat, now down back at 2800 and spinning my wheels at the same weight. I am gaining confidence that I can keep a sustainable fitness practice, and starting to trust myself that I can go into surplus and…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/23 01:40 PM
6

Agreed. I plan on relaxing the weekly OYS, and will either go monthly or just private as needed. On what I want / my mission, here's where I got to last after doing the Unchained Man exercises. I will play with art, tech, and business in novel ways that combine to produce useful and interesting commercial results and systems, and afford a luxurious, fun, abundant lifestyle for me. I will enjoy the journey and adventure along the way, occasionally taking the time to refresh my physical and emotio…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/23 09:03 AM
5

If you don't like yourself, why should other people? How can you figure out how to love yourself? How do you become a man you are proud to be? Can you do that without being so cutting to yourself?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/23 01:20 PM
3

At times, it feels like I do not have control of my mouth or my thoughts. Pathetic that I as a grown man cannot control his feelings no matter what the reasons are. I am not happy with the way I acted after a rejection - Nothing vocal but the wife can sense that butthurt pretty easily no matter how hard I may try to hide it. I have to get it into my thick skull that not every rejection is about me Who has control of your mouth and your thoughts? Who judges you to be pathetic if you cannot contro…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/23 11:35 AM
18

OYS 43 Stats: Age 39, married 8, together 14. 2 kids. 6’1” 91kg DL 115kgx5x3; SQ 112kgx5x3; BP 95kgx5x3. I am grateful for how my life has been turning around. If I look back a year, I was full of anxiety, ego, barely scraping out of a dead bedroom, in fear of my wife’s feelings, with no clear boundaries other than self-sacrifice in the name of career. My body was starting to improve, but was still defined by pain, and the three lifts were not accessible to me without negative spirals. My social…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/23 11:33 AM
1

You’re right. I wouldn’t write about it and track it if I didn’t seek progress.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/23 03:15 PM
1

OYS 42 Stats: Age 39, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 kids. 6’1” 91kg DL 115kgx5x3; SQ 110kgx5x3; BP 95kgx5x3. Fitness & Health Squats are feeling better in terms of being able to engage the right movement, I cleared 110kg and will push against the previous best next week. Deadlifts I am still struggling keeping shoulder and back engaged when I pull. The mind turns off and I forget to keep the tension on, especially when getting tired. This is being fixed with accessory work, and I am starting…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/23 11:54 PM
1

Good luck with the conversation.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/23 10:33 PM
1

Engaging in patterns for superficial reasons. Doing a ritual, a signalling perhaps, to others and to myself. To think that ritual (writing about workouts) replaces substance (numbers moving up). Maybe. Or maybe when you take medicine, you need to take the full dose, even when you feel momentarily better. Whether it’s a placebo effect as a safety net or whether you really need to run the full course doesn’t really matter. On the lifts, I’m currently at peace with my body. The consensus here maybe…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/23 09:38 PM
5

Doesn't appear like I've made much progress. I am not that frustrated by it, because I know that I am working on it, and it is prioritized appropriately relative to other things in my life. For whom is that a problem?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/23 02:30 PM
2

I thought about your comment, and how to try and answer it without ego protection. There is a bunch of "I feel" and "I think" in this OYS, journal style, and less highlighting of what I did. You are right to call that out. My attention is not on MRP goals or sexual strategy at the moment. This is for two reasons. First, I have bigger fish to fry and have gotten happy in this part of my life. Sex is not a burning goal the way it had been. Second, the things I would have pointed out as "I did this…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/23 10:36 AM
6

OYS 41 Stats: Age 39, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 kids. 6’1” 91kg DL 130kgx5x3; SQ 112kgx5x1; BP 95kgx5x3. Fitness & Health Have reset deadlifts and squats with new technique and building back up. Deadlifts at 115kg, with supporting work being paused and snatch-grip deadlifts instead of sumo. Squats at 105kg feeling good on balance as well, with single legged squats to support. I am optimistic based on how the body feels. I am also at the end of the repair for the indoor bike, and excited …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/23 11:29 AM
1

It took me a while, but I can finally see.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/23 10:50 PM
1

Amen. I’m not in a race to fuck myself up again. I value the ability to be in a race in the first place.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/23 10:49 PM
9

OYS 40 Stats: Age 39, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 91kg DL 130kgx5x3; SQ 112kgx5x1; BP 95kgx5x3. Fitness & Health Bench is moving up. On deadlifts and squats I am caught in a grinder of trying to improve technique and missing lift progress. To remedy, I have kept work volumes higher. I have a session to discuss programming changes with the trainer this week. As mentioned before, I have been taking Tongkat Ali to test if it changes energy levels or recovery. The first week o…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/23 11:32 AM
3

Interesting. You say you got what you wanted (wife less fat), but you undermine it by judging the process (she didn't work hard for it). Her not working hard for it implies she doesn't care to "show up" for you, or she is "lazy and selfish" and therefore unable to ever show up at all. I've gotten the advice here, which I like, that I shouldn't try to reverse engineer anyone's mind and project their motivations into my decision making. It doesn't matter what she thinks if I get what want. And any…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/23 11:36 AM
4

Instead of continuing LARPing I started practicing and acting like I preach, AA, AM, STFU, broken record and overall being Outcome Independent. At first it feels autistic and fake it until you make it. It's quite easy to pass simple shittests with the assertive tools presented above, and I'm getting better recognizing the difference between shit tests and shitty behaviour. Almost didn't Tried to but failled to not watch at all any social media. when I scrolled through my phone was either to chec…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/23 11:30 AM
1

Isn’t the fact that she lost the 25 lbs evidence that if she cared enough then she could get with the program?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/23 09:38 PM
4

I’ve taken two things away from RP. The act of noticing and undoing social programming (from whatever perspective), and the observed dynamics about women’s sexual strategies. Those seem accurate and consistent, and what I’ve learned equips me to put my happiness first. From MRP I’ve taken immensely more. Every permutation of men going through this journey catalogued with results. Warnings where there are dragons. Self immolated idiots. The 12 years ago comment is one she made about me in convers…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/23 09:13 PM
6

My efforts over the first 6 months were definitely dancing monkey, looking in the back mirror. I worked hard to establish my own preferences and boundaries, but I was pretending a lot and on shaky footing. I just wanted my marriage “fixed” by throwing spaghetti on the wall. The next 3 months, I was still pretending but not really for her. It still felt / feels like a performance for the world, but as times goes on I feel the new me normalized to myself. My identity is shifting into the things I …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/23 08:04 PM
1

Can you separate your actions from your thoughts, feelings, and judgments about the actions?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/23 07:46 PM
5

But what about his summer 2024 public speaking goals? Sure those are just as important as what he's doing next week to not suck.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/23 12:56 PM
3

Which part of this novel about your feelings and thoughts is about specific actions you've taken over the last week to be a better version of you?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/23 12:51 PM
3

OYS 39 Stats: Age 39, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 91kg DL 130kgx5x3; SQ 112kgx5x1; BP 92kgx7x3. Fitness & Health Cleared the stuck bench weight and going up next week. On squats and deads, drilling technique and the areas where I don’t know how to activate muscle / am especially weak. I am not activating my quads at the right time, so split squats are now in the program. On deadlifts I am collapsing shoulders when coming up, so accessories are focused on upper back rows an…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/23 11:55 AM
1

Thanks for sharing your view. It does happen to some people and can be tragic.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/23 07:41 PM
0

You do you! These are not insecurities I am interested in internalizing. Mate guarding in the way you’re expressing is the opposite of abundance. She has a lot to lose, knows my boundaries, and I know exactly what I’m doing if she steps out.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/23 06:04 PM
1

Dangerous for whom? https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/g3sfqk/the_role_of_inspector_faggot_open_casting_is_today/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/23 03:29 PM
2

You’re talking about the food a lot, and little time about yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/23 03:26 PM
2

Say you’re hungry. How can you tell the difference between wanting to eat because you’re starving and haven’t eaten for months, it makes you healthy and stronger and part of a balanced life, It makes yummy feels in your mouth and you like pleasure, You are scared and want to be full of something to fill an emotional black hole, Everyone else seems to be eating, You don’t know why, but just gotta eat, don’t think about it stuff your mouth Foods loves you only when you eat it. What’s your patholog…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/23 09:50 AM
2

Disconnecting from emotions isn’t the same as processing them and letting them go. A disconnected man hiding from himself isn’t attractive.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/23 09:42 AM
2

OYS 38 Stats: Age 39, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 90kg DL 130kgx5x3; SQ 110kgx5x3; BP 92kgx7x2. Fitness & Health Adjusting to the current weights. My deadlift has a technique error where I am not keeping my lats engaged while pulling the bar, which in turn pulls my shoulders and arms down. Drilling bent over rows to correct. Squat and bench just need more work, rest, and eating. I started taking Tongkat Ali, an herbal supplement that may have an impact on increasing testos…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/23 04:50 PM
3

I find the statement about “playing a game you agreed to play” very powerful. I try to take stock of the games in which I participate and periodically — quarterly or so — cleanse my incorrect or undesired commitments.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/23 11:28 AM
5

A career is a process by which you scale the mountain. It’s not the collection of gold stars for performance, or the chasing of money. Those are the outcomes of being the one leading the team to a goal or going up the new mountain and creating a path or managing the town through crisis, metaphorically. Pick the mountain and start going up. Don’t use thoughts to polish yourself and your ego. Choose to go up newbie curves in areas of discomfort. You get more growth from that than squeezing a 1% im…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/23 09:47 AM
7

Your writing seems articulate and thoughtful, and you are probably past marginal diminishing returns on physical attractiveness. Why are you such a wet noodle in your career and frame? What mountain is yours to climb, and claim as a fucking victory?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/23 11:53 AM
8

OYS 37 Stats: Age 39, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 91kg DL 130kgx5x3; SQ 110kgx5x3; BP 92kgx6x3. Why am I still here I joined MRP in February of last year and started doing OYS in April. I am finishing out the year of OYS, because that was my goal. Perhaps the goal no longer serves me, but sometimes you discover things you don’t expect just by putting one foot in front of the other. Or you discover that you’re bullshitting yourself. And there’s my stubbornness. I told mysel…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/23 11:49 AM
1

Work breaks down muscle so it can reconstitute as stronger. Work is needed for adaptation. Recovery is when muscle is repaired and grows. Adding work to muscle while it’s not recovered leads to overreach and stalling and fatigue. Poor recovery leads to higher chance of injury. Been there. Food is what is used in recovery to build. I’m pretty beat on recovery days so arguably that means focus on sleep and eating. However I can probably increase my work capacity, which was higher in the past. I wa…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/23 08:26 PM
1

Which programme are you running? I am following programming from my coach. I lift 3x a week. First day deadlift, bench, accessories. Second day, sumo deadlift, narrow bench, accessories. Third day, squat, bent over row, good mornings. All feel heavy to me, but the sumo day is for higher reps / work capacity. Weight progresses up if I hit 3 sets of 5. I do 1 or 2 days outside of that with other fitness activity. How has BW and the big three progressed for the last three months? Body weight essent…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/23 02:42 PM
3

OYS 36 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 91kg DL 127kgx5x3; SQ 110kgx5x2; BP 92kgx6x2. Fitness & Health Cleared 127kg on the deadlift, that’s the main progress this past week. Bench and squats are grinding. I can’t figure out if I need more rest, or more volume instead of the rest days. Pushing my cardio on one of the non-lifting days, and feeling more energetic when I do. Relationship & Sex I am not finding much to complain about, which is good. I now understand …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/23 12:11 PM
2

Preferred option is to escalate to sex. Otherwise validate that I care about her and her feelings.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/23 04:20 PM
2

I am thick about this. “You don’t notice” = shit
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/23 02:13 PM
0

Thanks. Do you A&A comfort tests? I’d have less trouble here if she wasn’t looking for comfort with shit test tactics.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/23 10:37 AM
1

Good advice. I haven’t been using negative assertion where I don’t think I made a mistake. If I make a mistake in my judgment, I am happy to own it. I don’t want to validate “duty to notice”. I’m probably taking it too seriously based on past behaviors, where she’d spin out mad at me for a covert failure to notice something I didn’t know was important to her, and frankly wasn’t important to me. I can comfort better. “I like that you are putting effort into X and doing Y for me” “you make it look…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/23 10:35 AM
2

OYS 35 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 91kg DL 127kgx5x1; SQ 110kgx5x2; BP 90kgx7x3. Fitness & Health On deadlifts did my first 127kg set only, half the second, hit a wall on the third. Going to add paused deadlifts into rotation to help develop the part of the movement where I struggle. On squat, did two sets of 110kg, will get the third next time. Bench is moving a bit better. Relationship & Sex It was a good week. I have focused on making it very clear to my …
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/23 09:23 AM
1

I thought you were actually verbalizing to your wife that sex was a reward for her. Yes, during sex I was. Not before as initiation.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/23 02:49 PM
1

I am interested in what you think of status. Status in a male-defined hierarchy, like a gold start at a corporate job, yea that sounds beta. Because it's the attention of other men. Status as evidenced by pre-selection though, e.g., women's obsession with Timothee Chalamet, is alpha. Because it's the attention of other women.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/23 10:31 AM
4

Glad to get some push back. That's why exposed the thought, and then shared how I let it float by and away because it is not useful to me. If you are super anxious that it is fake...can it really be genuine / authentic? I have gotten over needing either her or me to be *demonstrably* authentic. Of course I prioritize things I perceive to be authentic, but actions are first, the stories we tell ourselves form after. LARPing is fine. If I am literally telling her "this is your reward for working h…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/23 10:21 AM
2

I am super fucking anxious it is fake or will evaporate or I’ll spin out into wanting other women and her not being enough. I let that voice yammer on and dissipate. And just repeat lifting, building frame, and choosing to enjoy my life, as it is while I have it.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/23 08:00 PM
4

Imagine a world where nobody does anything for you. This is your baseline. Only from there can you build with the right foundation. You graduate to a world that is reciprocal, social, and fair. You create connection and exchange value, value which you create. You are driven by standards, a mission, enforce boundaries, and have authentic behavior. If you are in a baby world where you are the baby, well it will definitely be full of shit.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/23 10:17 AM
6

Have you considered doing anything other than bitching? To be fair, you were out of yoghurts.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/23 10:15 PM
17

OYS 34 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 91.2kg DL 125kgx5x3; SQ 107kgx5x3; BP 90kgx7x2. Fitness & Health Cleared 125kg on the deadlift and 107kg on squat, so moving up next week. Enjoying the progress in these two lifts. Bench is regressing, maybe because I am eating less, still trying to attack it with volume. Daily gross calories around 2700, net 2400, body weight not moving down. I don't want to go lower on food while there's strength progress. Relationship & …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/23 11:31 AM
4

Show all your lifts. Masking doesn’t help accountability.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/23 10:47 AM
1

Don’t replace “goodbye” with “I love you” as an easy improvement. Just say “see you later”.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/23 10:45 AM
5

You’ve created a problem out of thin air with the shoes. Got an object you want, random event happens, you self blame and now have a weird relationship with the object. How is that going to go with a woman? You lost frame to a shoe my man.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/23 10:39 AM
3

You’re not a garden in which other things grow, at least not as a primary goal. You are the thing that grows. Platforms are inanimate, unfeeling support structures for the happiness of others.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/23 10:35 AM
3

You are of course right. I am scoreboarding and looking for markers of “success”. Until it’s just the way things are, and aren’t remarkable to me anymore.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/23 09:10 AM
7

OYS 33 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 90.7kg/199lbs. DL 122kg/268lbsx5x3; SQ 105kg/231lbsx5x3; BP 100kg/220lbsx4x1. Fitness & Health Cleared 122kg on deadlift and 105kg on squat. Bench was stuck, so I am increasing reps instead of sticking at a weight that doesn’t budge. Body weight is flat, which I accept if dead and squat go up. My cardio machine broke, so I spent the week taking it apart and working to fix it. Also setting up appointments to assess my runnin…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/23 12:31 PM
1

Thanks. I agree there’s something with the fats and their quality. I’m probably also eating worse carbs than I should (eg takeout Chinese rice) and need to audit. Might get a glucose monitor to see what different foods do to the body. The key for the sex for me has been variety, and immersion. Dominance comes naturally but the others don’t, and I’ve been focused on improving there. Emotion is super important too, probably hardest for me to do congruently.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/01/23 11:10 PM
3

The solution to clearing your mind isn't to keep more things in it. Go out in the world and take action.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/23 12:27 PM
1

He's a walking pharmacy. Likely yes, but haven't settled on it yet. It will be good to decouple from the self.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/23 12:26 PM
14

I wish I could go back in time and punch myself in the dick. You already have. It doesn't matter what you wasted, that time is both gone, and is also irrelevant. There is only now and the practices you implement. STFU applies not just to your talking with others, but how your inner voice talks to yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/23 10:12 AM
15

OYS 32 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 90.7kg/199lbs. DL 120kg/264lbsx5x3; SQ 102kg/224lbsx5x3; BP 100kg/220lbsx4x1. Fitness & Health Cleared the set of 5x3 on DL and SQ at the weight above, going up next week. Bench is stalled out. I can do the 100kg but it looks like 4,3,1. I have added more reps at lower weight in addition to the working weight, and am hitting it multiple days, but it’s not moving. My calories are at 2700, down from 3200, so maybe it’s the fo…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/23 10:08 AM
1

What kind of company would be a distraction from what kinds of goals?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/01/23 10:01 AM
2

Instead of picking the “perfect” music for every time (boring), you could just experiment with different music at different times and see what outcomes that creates.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/01/23 09:54 AM
2

I don’t know what to do with your comment. It’s a jab at me bringing up injury over and over again, is how I read it. It’s taking me a long time to adjust my mind set and I’m dragging along a self limitation as an excuse to not hit better numbers. Actions could be to drop even the reminder of self limitation, and to increase training volume.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/01/23 09:23 AM
1

OYS 31 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 91kg/200lbs. DL 120kg/264lbsx5; SQ 102kg/224lbsx5; BP 100kg/220lbsx4. Fitness I exercised around 180 times this past year, about 3.5 times per week. While the last two weeks of the year everyone got sick and we traveled, I still got in the lifts and sprints in during that time. This new year I have a clear benchmark starting point, and no longer the excuse of injury or restarting my fitness from scratch. I will hit at least…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/23 02:06 PM
1

Thanks!
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/22 04:17 PM
1

I’ve read other OYS posts and watched as people tried to articulate their mission. Almost all are “Build a life of abundance by being a congruent man etc etc” and don’t connect for me with something more profound or original to the person. TWOSP isn’t something I have read yet, but from the summaries and discussions of it, it doesn’t appeal. The stoicism discussions and the parts about meditation and mindfulness do fit, and I’ve spent time on that. I’ve never felt for a lack of direction, but it…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/22 11:45 AM
2

I know my values. Creativity, curiosity, exploration, cultivation. My mission is fuzzier. Little of what I’ve read here appeals as a framework. I want to cultivate myself to reach my potential physically, mentally, sexually, artistically, and I want to build systems that can do this on a large scale for me and others. I want to milk the gains, appreciating the pleasure of progress, and building longevity. Not sprinting myself into a wall and burning out. There’s always more once you reach any de…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/22 08:19 PM
2

I’ve kept work out of OYS since that was already so much of my focus, beta bucks, etc. And I thought of overworking as my coping with not making the marriage I want, avoiding my failures by losing myself in things I’m good at. But now the work is actively holding back my own self conception as attractive and in control. It makes me feel like less than my potential, and they’re paying me to feel that way. That must have reverberating effects on how I carry myself generally. The action steps are m…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/22 07:40 PM
5

OYS 30 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 92kg/203lbs. DL 122kg/268lbsx5; SQ 100kg/220lbsx5; BP 99kg/218lbsx4. Fitness Hit the requisite reps on the squat (5x3) to move up weight next session. Ended up having a severe cold start from that day, and decided against lifting with a chest cough and waiting until I am better. With holiday travel coming up, the program is compromised until next year. I am focusing on keep calories lower while I am not as active. Frame I a…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/12/22 12:49 PM
2

OYS 29 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 92kg/203lbs. DL 122kg/268lbsx5; SQ 100kg/220lbsx5; BP 99kg/218lbsx4. Fitness I got pushed around for my lack of real progress on lower body lifts, while adding fat, last week. Under my control are the frequency and intensity of lifting, the quality of instruction, pain prevention and management, and diet in both directions. In the first three I have confidence. On diet, I have moved calories down about 400/day. I will run t…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/22 12:13 PM
1

All makes sense and helps, thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/22 10:13 PM
1

That’s fair, thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/22 05:27 PM
1

I’m not happy with the body fat results. My lifts are progressing and eating more did initially help me get the bench from 84kg to 99kg, so I kept going. The others aren’t moving up that well, despite a reasonable amount of work and rest. I’ve had some setbacks there. In my mind it makes sense that if I’m not in surplus then I’m not going to add muscle. But maybe that’s wrong at this stage. Would you add a period of straight cut, or dial the calories to 2800?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/22 02:31 PM
1

If you are behind the wheel and something on the way gets stuck in you, but you want to let it go, what are your approaches to doing so? “Don’t think about it anymore” doesn’t really work to stop rumination or obsession. People say “sit with it” or “let it pass through you”. How?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/22 10:32 AM
1

You’re right about scoreboarding the sex, and about wasting time with the talking backed by nothing.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/22 10:29 AM
1

I’m not evading and I appreciate being faced with my results being subpar. I acknowledged it. Yes, I know my coach can train people out of injury via compound lifts (literally his specialty) and yes I believe he can train me to lift heavy, despite your view that I’ve made no progress in 6 months. My goals include being stronger / leaner and having a good sex life. My goals also include not having constant debilitating chronic pain. I prioritize the latter at the expense of pace of progress on th…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/22 10:25 AM
1

Yes, I have been tracking calories daily since Feb this year. The higher intake, ie 3200 or so, has been intentional based on the advice of my strength coach.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/22 10:12 AM
2

Does your work deserve the attention you give it?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/22 08:49 AM
3

There are two things here. Porn. And masturbation. Maybe you’re not able to go cold turkey on jerking the jerky. But you absolutely can stop feeding your brain the videos immediately, without having to track it or be dramatic about it. You might actually develop an imagination.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/22 08:45 AM
3

That is the best link I have ever read. Years of mediocre sex is a low price to pay for the privilege of reading it.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/22 06:38 PM
5

This gave me a laugh. It's not wrong. Help me choose a strategy between: "You're weak and to get strong men need to actually eat. Guys are so afraid of getting fat they don't end up putting on any muscle" --> calories at 3400 and "You're still unattractive and fat and this is something you can control by cutting down and then building up" --> calories at 2500 I can do either, but I've chosen the first strategy so that I have a stronger foundation.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/22 04:49 PM
4

I am here as well, even if my words about it are different from yours. Pain is a signal. It might force one person to pull their hand away from the source of the pain, and it might make others push through and into it. I work on getting comfortable when a pain is there with it, deciding what it means for me and what I want out of it, and taking actions such that my goals can be achieved. Most of the best things that have worked out for me have required a long time horizon, not a quick reactive o…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/22 01:39 PM
8

OYS 28 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 92kg/203lbs. DL 120kg/264lbsx5; SQ 97kg/213bsx5; BP 99kg/218lbsx4. Fitness Lifting and eating is going well enough. I haven’t felt 100% but am showing up and doing the work. Had a tough session with sumo deadlifts, doing sets of 8 with a superset of chest work in between, on a strict two-minute cool down timer. Felt like I was in outer space for days after. My work capacity and recovery need to be improved, but my pain mana…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/22 01:27 PM
1

To be honest, I am doing as much as I’m able here. I’ve got a dedicated strength coach at a lifting studio that’s focusing on the core compound lifts and specializes in older athletes. He has rehabbed me out of a hole. Weight on lifts going up 2kg per week, but I get set backs so it looks more like 5kg per month. If I add 60kg to the squat, I’ll be at 300+ lbs in 1 year, which seems pretty reasonable for starting up beginning of this year. I don’t really care if this happens when I’m 37, 38, 39,…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/22 08:05 PM
1

12 months ago I was neither squatting nor doing deadlifts. 7 months ago I was squatting 60kgx5x3 and deadlifting 100kgx5x3, but getting hurt. 6 months ago, I stopped both, ie went to 0kg on both lifts, until about 3 months ago. Switched to pendlay rows and good mornings to fix chronic problems during that time. They’re not fixed but improved. So I’ve either added 120kg and 95kg, or 20kg and 35kg.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/22 01:49 PM
-1

I see that it’s important to you to point out that I’m weak on my squat and deadlift. Yep, I am! I’m making progress, avoiding injury, managing my eating and macros, and am thrilled to be milking those tiny baby gains.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/22 12:32 PM
2

I don’t know man I keep gaining weight but I think it’s in the balls.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/22 10:10 PM
2

Is your not understanding her and raging at the misunderstanding an attractive behavior?
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/22 04:36 PM
2

I want to yell at her and tell her to stfu ... It's because you don't want to fuck me. Would you want to fuck you?
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/22 12:02 PM
4

Every one of your sections you end with a statement that undercuts yourself rather than builds you up. The little voice in your head loves beating the shit out of you. You are never good enough for yourself. Stop behaving unattractive ... Still I could be more selfish in general. Note on sex ... Enthusiasm is still on the lower side with some improvements. Practice game... failed in sexualizing the conversation. I was just really boring and nice. Explore sex ... A lot less people showed up than …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/22 11:51 AM
2

she'll start hitting the gym and/or dieting because she knows you can't be derailed and she has to keep up She has been doing this for a while, and it is indeed responsive to my picking up the pace. I used to look back, but don't any more. I am happy she is fit and attractive, both for her and for me. The verbal / sabotage actions are more notable to me because they are overt communication. ​ That's not what it sounds like in the lead-up to that statement. Would you have been able to say that if…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/22 11:45 AM
7

OYS 27 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 92kg/203lbs. DL 120kg/264lbsx5; SQ 95kg/209bsx5; BP 99kg/218lbsx4. Fitness Fixed mobility and stiffness issues from last week by reintroducing daily foam roller sessions, and occasional lacrosse ball deep tissue massage. Good reminder that I shouldn’t rely on external help when I can just go at the problem myself and solve it. Meditation and awareness of the function of pain helped me not stop moving and lifting. Dropped sq…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/22 12:40 PM
1

I've been scheduling a massage, but work and drama have me pinned down for 2 more weeks... well, work has a real deadline, but drama may have a shorter fuse. Don't outsource this. Learn how your own body works. Get a lacrosse ball and experiment with it until you know your neurology by heart. If I always had to get someone to do this for me, it would not work out. Also, you likely read and know your body better than anyone else. You should trust yourself to dig into the pain, while you might be …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/22 05:16 PM
1

I haven’t seen her do this so explicitly before, so wrote it down. I see three options. 1) she doesn’t want to do something but it’s now important for her to do it for me, so she does 2) she used to not want to do it for her, but now she does, and so her brain tells the old story, but her actions betray the real story 3) it doesn’t matter. Everything is a hallucination and the only thing I can control is myself.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/22 06:42 PM
4

I generally like my life and my wife, and if that means sometimes using the powers of my high performing OCD to construct a labyrinth of plans around my wife that she can navigate and feel stable in, that's a price I am willing to pay. The question is whether I enjoy doing this for me, and often, though of course not always, the answer is yes.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/22 05:26 PM
1

I’m being deliberate, purposeful, and controlling, but not weird.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/22 07:46 PM
3

5’10”, 148lbs Still dumbbells at home. I was dressed in my best suit and looked like a baller. Hmm.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/22 01:16 PM
2

OYS 26 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 92kg/203lbs. DL 120kg/264lbsx5; SQ 100kg/220lbsx5; BP 97kg/213lbsx5. Fitness Much of last week I lifted at a 10-15% lower weight. My chronic pain is rearing up, brought on by increased stress. In both the deadlift and squat I have the tendency to overload my QL. I know how to do things with correct technique, am being actively coached during the lifts, but when tired, I don’t notice moving into the incorrect loading positio…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/22 01:10 PM
2

I fucked my back for 7 years straight. It starts with a spasmed muscle, which impinges the nerve. The nerve misfires and tells your body you have inflammation. The body inflames and impinges the nerve. You start taking NSAIDs. You start guarding the spot and changing your gait, and get weaker in the surrounding and supporting muscle groups. The asymmetry fucks your other movements and thereafter your joints. Your nerves get retrained to interpret regular sensation as pain and you can’t get the m…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/22 08:13 PM
2

My belief is I should feel bad after I do X. I believe X is wrong and I feel bad as a result. My belief is that I deserve to do X and it makes me feel good. I believe feeling good is good (I.e., congruent) even if I also feel bad. You’re making all these beliefs. I can’t tell the difference between how you generate guilt or congruence. Is there another person, or philosophy, in your head telling you what to do that makes you feel guilt? Is there another person, or philosophy, in your head tellin…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/22 05:41 PM
2

Like you say, having my brain reason a story for me is different from having by my gut reverberate with feeling. Onwards.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/22 11:17 AM
1

What is guilt? What is congruence?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/22 09:31 AM
2

I write OYS for myself and use posting as a commitment to make progress. Those are the questions I’m struggling with now. I’m not challenging the program but working through how to apply it for me. Maybe there are lurkers with a situation close to mine and it could be helpful to them too. Maybe if someone says I’m DEERing enough I’ll realize that’s what I’m doing. I am probably trying to ego protect from being criticized for liking my wife, because I’m not sure if I am doing it in a congruent wa…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/22 07:48 PM
2

Yes, there’s fear. My philosophical musings are questions I am asking myself, questions I have to answer. What am I risking and why. I can’t answer.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/22 06:57 PM
1

I’m making my way through the beginner program where black is black and white is white. With food and otherwise. It’s easier to not make the decisions now. But I know the real world is full of color.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/22 06:54 PM
1

I agree on developing the knowledge and feeling that I can replace her, and that there’s abundance from playing / flirting / teasing women. I have been doing this purposefully up to the line I am comfortable with and it does meaningfully help with letting go of codependency. That said, I don’t need to autistically pursue this as a goal in itself, which I am prone to do. I am giving myself permission not to feel bad about missing a “practice” session when instead I spent time taking out my wife.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/22 06:50 PM
11

OYS 25 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 91kg/200lbs. DL 117kg/257lbsx5; SQ 100kg/220lbsx5; BP 96kg/211lbsx5. Fitness Lifts are getting done. This week is a deload, which my body is making non negotiable. Started interviewing a provider to do a full blood panel. I am interested primarily in cholesterol, testosterone, and inflammation levels. The one I found is attached to an athlete/doctor practice and they are trying to charge me about $700 for the test, diagnosi…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/22 12:37 PM
1

Yeah. I am noticing that I am acting out of resentment when none is needed.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/22 11:25 PM
1

Some of this rings true. I was half assing it. I wanted to push things a bit but was lazy. I’ve read Come As You Are. What tells you about my discomfort?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/22 10:59 PM
1

I wanted to tell her to do something, but I didn’t really want to take control. Test what she was willing to bring, on her own. So I tried these things to see what would happen. What happened is exactly what you say. She doesn’t want to be in charge of her sexuality, even in the smallest ways.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/22 10:53 PM
2

Leaders don’t need to dictate. It’s fragile.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/22 10:32 AM
3

For what?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/22 10:24 AM
5

OYS 24 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 91kg/200lbs. DL 117kg/257lbsx5; SQ 100kg/220lbsx5; BP 96kg/211lbsx5. Fitness Got healthier as the week went along. Food intake and supplements are fine. Not enough good sleep though as work stress is spilling into home life, and I wake up ruminating. ZMA helped one of two nights. Lifting technique has been the largest lever of focus for me, because when the technique makes sense in the body, I feel safe to push it with weig…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/22 10:55 AM
1

There’s no such thing as normal. You are right that I’m still trying to find her magic sex button that I can just press every time. A more generous read is that I’m giving her tools to thaw out her own sexuality. But then I’m in her frame too. It was an action, not a thought, so I am still happy to do it and learn.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/22 09:08 AM
2

There’s mental and there’s physical. I agree with you in mental — no excuse. I spent 12 years at 4-5 days a week, and then at one point my body felt like it broke with chronic pain, which only got worse. That slowly eroded my mind over the next 7 years. With the right help, I’ve been able to start getting it back. Sometimes you need the right key to fix a bad situation. Struggling in place can make it worse.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/22 09:02 AM
3

Fair point. I see the covert contract. If I have a separate cyber sex channel with my wife, she will fuck me and I won’t be rejected.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/22 08:57 AM
1

Your back hurts because your technique is wrong
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/22 08:19 PM
3

I understand my wife so I say the right things to her because her happiness is more important than mine
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/22 08:17 PM
1

You’re not going to get credit or approval for how hard you worked or keep working to support the kid and her. I never did. You’re not going to get recognition that you’re doing shitty admin on the weekend for others. She won’t fix your feelz. She’s mothering the child, and you aren’t it. The good thing is, it’s in the past and doesn’t matter. What good life are you implementing now, for yourself?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/22 08:11 PM
1

I haven't considered that. It feels enabling, prioritized even, rather than relegated to the basement.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/22 04:53 PM
1

Thanks, agree. I've been making sure there's a gym with a barbell next to or in any hotel I visit. This time it was too remote and circumstances blocked me.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/22 01:25 PM
2

OYS 23 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 90kg/198lbs. BP 95kg/209lbsx5; DL 117kg/257lbsx5; SQ 95kg/209lbsx5; SSP 57kg/125lbsx5. Fitness Lifted heavy (for me) after a flu jab last week, and feeling like a truck ran over me in every part of the body. Eating more, sleeping extra, being regular with the supplements to make up for it. The weights are moving up slowly on DL and Bench, despite causing extra pain. I also went back and finished up an OCD project for myself…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/22 01:21 PM
1

Thanks, though I’m not sure which part you are replying to? I’m not arguing with her in relation to sex or initiations.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/22 09:14 PM
1

Yep, that sounds exactly like it. I am keeping a hard line against porn and to minimal masturbation, at least for a year, to see the effect. This is the effect. A fog that gets so loud it takes over. On the plus side, I see it as bullshit and act on suppressing the unattractive behavior that emerges. On the down side, I spend a lot more time this year feeling frustrated. Angry frustrated, not whiny sad. I’m not sure this is a validation need as much as just a physical experience. Like holding in…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/22 07:33 PM
2

The note here is my recognizing this cycle, not caring about the substance of the stories my brain makes up. There’s nothing special about it. The DEERing is nonsense. The whining is pointless. I’m day dreaming and spinning solutions. The cause is hormonal, not a result of a thinking, purposeful mind. If I can recognize the experience, I can work to control it via mindfulness or something else. I’ve never before chosen to just ride out my libido like this. I am not sure if it’s the right approac…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/22 07:26 PM
2

OYS 22 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 90kg/198lbs. BP 94kg/206lbsx5; DL 115kg/253lbsx5; SQ 95kg/209lbsx5; SSP 57kg/125lbsx5. Fitness Traveled internationally all last week with no access to gyms, did some body weight workouts. Back this week, restarting tomorrow. Kept calories lower during the trip at around 2800 vs. 3200. Happy with the calorie result given the social drinking involved, and it could have gotten sloppier. Social Spent the first half of last wee…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/22 01:16 PM
1

When I was younger and had lots of free energy, having a sexy feisty woman around with a soft core that only I could reach was fun and exciting. Now with the sex drip feed, the career, and the children, I have a lot less patience for it. But I still see her in there somewhere. I think she is lost too.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/22 10:00 PM
1

Thanks — I’m of the same mind. Kettlebells would be play to the side.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/22 09:36 PM
1

I DEER therefore I am I wonder what I’m protecting and whether that makes me a juicier target for attack
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/22 09:17 PM
1

Meaning — How did you get in your own way for so long? or That’s a shitty question to be asked during sex?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/22 08:16 PM
3

OYS 21 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 90kg/198lbs. BP 94kg/206lbsx5; DL 115kg/253lbsx5; SQ 95kg/209lbsx5 Fitness Progressing on deadlift and squat. Had a supporting session with sumo deadlift up to 8 reps instead of 5, and really enjoyed how the effort switched from using the sprint energy system to feeling a lot of aerobic challenge. Good reminder for myself that I want to add kettlebells to the strength program, separate from the bike HIIT sessions, to get po…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/22 05:11 PM
2

1) don’t make sex the goal or the reason for doing things 2) STFU applies not just to conversation with others but also with yourself. Just do, instead of over rationalizing and bullshitting yourself with reasons.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/22 12:35 PM
1

So the game was fun, but after some naval gazing, you hamstered up a rationalisation against it. I only have so much time in the week. If I have a night out, I want to spend it well, or as best as I can. Same as the gym. I go a fixed number of times a week, and choose not to do certain workouts in favor of others, because the ones I do choose are more efficient for my goals. I am lifting, not building a cycling base as an example, because right now I like what lifting is doing for me. So even if…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/22 11:56 AM
1

OYS 20 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 90kg/198lbs. BP 94kg/206lbsx5; DL 110kg/242lbsx5; SQ 92kg/202lbsx5; SSP 55kg/121lbsx5. Fitness / Health: Added Athletic Greens to the diet. Started using measurement cups and scale for servings measurement. Still targeting 3200 calories, but likely more accurately hitting it, happy with nutrition. Improved deadlift technique to point where I think I can progress again. Keep showing up and get more sleep. Mental / Social: We…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/22 08:45 AM
3

That’s my thinking too, she’s anxious or giddy or just bouncing around, and needs to be guided back. Good thread link.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/22 08:15 AM
2

I thought I needed to demonstrate my career success more and show how I can afford more of the finances, and that it would somehow solve anything. It’s one of the dumbest thoughts one could have.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/22 07:26 PM
3

I was obsessed with cuddles and measuring who is giving what to whom in OYS 8. Horns said this to me. I calibrated and went colder for a bit. It made me feel better but I don’t think it did anything else. Working on my own life, booking stuff I want to do, going to social events, and inviting her along sometimes, that was better than being worried if I’m needy, because now she wants to be closer to me on her own.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/22 07:11 PM
1

On average I find the clit well enough and can bring her to orgasm that way about half the time. I’m guessing she was trying to tell me what she wanted, or that she wanted something else, but with expectations, not with feedback. Sometimes she’ll say “do you want to open the window” instead of “I’m cold, it would make me happy if you did this for me”. This is counterproductive because I used to do it (supplicating by acting as if of course I should open the window if she’s subcommunicating she’s…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/22 06:21 PM
9

OYS 19 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 90kg/198lbs. BP 94kg/206lbsx5; DL 110kg/242lbsx5; SSP 54kg/119lbsx5; SQ 87kg/191lbsx5. Fitness / Health: > Results: Bought measuring cups and a food scale. No more guess work. Getting Athletic Greens as a vitamin supplement as of today, based on several recommendations. Squat and sumo moving up. Nothing is stuck, progress forward. Mental / Social: > Results: Had drinks with the dads from my kid’s school and got to know some…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/22 08:42 AM
1

8====D ~~~
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/22 07:37 PM
2

I really didn’t. I’ve sketched for decades, and it’s always helped me process emotion. Kids got in the way, until recently when I made a list of things I wanted to do that aren’t escapist self medicating dopamine traps, like gaming. Concerts and drawing were on that list, and I booked both. The current friction is a surprising byproduct. But now the byproduct is coloring the primary intent.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/22 07:36 PM
2

OYS 18 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 90kg/198lbs. BP 92kg/202lbsx5; DL 117kg/257lbsx2; SSP 52kg/114lbsx5; SQ 80kg/176lbsx5. Fitness / Health: > Results: Bench and shoulder press squeaking up. Deadlift stalled because of a mental block on technique correction, while sumo deadlifts are up and squats are up. Body weight also going up. I like a lot how my body feels compared to six months ago, and I look better. In terms of an objective destination though, I could…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/22 10:18 AM
8

Salmon swimming upstream upset when eaten by bear.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/22 08:25 AM
1

Yep you’re getting under the skin there. I am practicing being social and fun to be around, not really game, is what I’m telling myself. Wasting time in the safe zone is a weakness. I’ve gotten around it in the past only by escalating 100%. I don’t know the middle ground. Sexualizing myself with not my wife is also pretty uncomfortable. Why am I doing it? How would I feel about her doing it? Etc hamster. I think you had a similar feeling described in your year long game report? How did you addre…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/22 09:05 AM
1

I wasn’t clear in my writing. She was close friends with a former female colleague of mine from years before. After I met her, she texted her friend, ie my former colleague, to tell her she met me. Don’t mean to split hairs, I get your point more generally. Don’t creep under a business pretense. Have them want you because you’re attractive. That said, I’m not sure what’s wrong with highlighting status and social proof.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/22 08:56 AM
1

I’m getting something in return: practice for what I care about more. I haven’t decided what to do in these situations, but I also don’t need to since I’m not actually committing resources. Your point though is well taken, don’t simp for validation.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/22 07:00 PM
1

Interesting. I bought the Carnivore Mass, which is beef derived and does have the smattering of amino acids and creatine. 2 scoops looks like 370 calories with 28g of protein. They say 4 scoops is a serving which is a bit rich. Was using ISO Whey, some basic brand, which 2 scoops was 250 calories and 40g or so of protein. I do creatine monohydrate separately as you suggest. Why does the mixing render some of the protein useless?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/22 12:04 PM
1

OYS 17 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 89kg/195lbs. BP 90kg/198lbs; DL 117kg/257lbs; SSP 52kg/114lbs; SQ 70kg/154lbs. Fitness / Health: > Results: Moving up the baby weights on squats, and clocking in a better technique on the 90kg bench. The body is tired from the additional workload, and I accept that. At least one of the lifting days per week is going to be sub-optimal because I won’t compromise going out one of the nights before, which then makes good sleep …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/22 11:10 AM
2

You have a lot of feelings and aspirations in a nihilistic narrative. Do you have any practices that lead to clear goals which you are driving through action? What is the source of your self worth?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/22 10:28 AM
9

OYS 16 Stats: Age 38, married 8 yrs, together 14 yrs. 2 young kids. 6’1” 89kg/195lbs. BP 90kg/198lbs; DL 117kg/257lbs; SSP 52kg/114lbs; SQ restarting 60kg/132lbs. Fitness / Health: > Results: On track. Added an additional lifting day, from 2 to 3. Can do this because recovery is getting faster and pain in the back and shoulder is much less frequent. Now have sumo deadlifts and squats in the program, as well as some accessory lifts like bent over rows, which will target my weaknesses. Excited to …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/22 10:21 AM
1

There's a philosophical question! Imagine you could flip a switch and be in a simulation that is as realistic and convincing as the current world we are in. Your brain renders everything as it is now, and it feels, tastes, and is experienced fully by you. In this simulation, everything goes according to plan. You are in a constant state of flow and pleasure. Most importantly, you don't know that the state is a false one -- the simulation is reality, and your mind has no clue that the experience …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/22 09:42 AM
1

The shape of the container is made from understanding and acting out what you want clearly. The chiseling of it on a particular woman is through the reward of attention/validation/intercourse or the punishment of removal of those things. The value of those rewards and punishments is only meaningful if you are attractive and high value. Is that an accurate read?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/22 09:35 AM
0

This is very helpful for me, thank you. We seem to share brain loops. Lucky for me, you’ve got a written record of the experiments. Normally I act as I want, not as gender stereotypes require. But if I want to give more masculine sex that is satisfying in a more primal way, then I should adopt strategies that are more masculine in regards to sex. The idea that I think that I cannot act is powerful. I do feel trapped in my own constructions. I feel compelled to fix it, turn it around, reconnect, …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/22 08:04 PM
1

If I do the things in order to attract validation, then dancing monkey. If I do the things because I like myself more for doing them, either through self respect or dopamine, then the attraction benefits are incidental. Is how I read the distinction. But it’s a razors edge for me now and probably for a while.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/22 07:56 PM
1

Appreciate you opening that up. I can see this angle. I wonder if there’s a difference between being needy, like how I wrote what I wrote and you fairly called out, and being hungry, in a more biological sense. Like, I’m not going into a loop of do X so she does Y and if it’s like this then I am validated and then I’m whole. It’s more of, when it’s like this, it turns me on, and I want to have it. Another thought is this connects to a bigger pattern for me. My work is to make things, things that…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/22 07:53 PM
1

I know that I’m painting by the numbers, and that a bunch of the tools lead to the dancing monkey trap. I expect to spend time in that trap before I can get out of it. I can’t know that a girlfriend is a solution if I can’t figure what my problem is.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/22 05:48 PM
1

I sound like a baby because it sounds like I’m saying “waaah this is what I want give it to me” I wrote that down because it clarified for me my goal, what I actually want, precisely. Maybe better kept out of OYS in the future. What I’m doing in order to achieve this is lifting, reading, and changing my outlook and my behavior. I am showing up to life in a different way. What am I not seeing?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/22 05:44 PM
3

OYS 15 Stats: Age 38, married 8 years, together 14 years. 2 young kids. 6’1” 89kg/195lbs. BP 88kg/194lbs; DL 117kg/257lbs; SSP 52kg/114lbs; SQ paused. Fitness / Health: > Results: While traveling for about 3 weeks, I continued lifting throughout by selecting hotels next to gyms and getting day passes, coming in about 2-4 times a week and sticking with the barbell work and erg sprints. Getting enough calories and protein from food, around 2800, was easier than at home given larger portions. I bou…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/22 01:43 PM
1

Eh I’m sure I’m full of shit. But enjoying a pleasure that incidentally arises from an experience isn’t the same to me as pursuing that experience in order to achieve that pleasure.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/22 05:41 PM
5

First off, I am choosing to say this, to amplify it. It's not 0 or 1. It's a narrative / belief / feeling I can tune into and hold onto for a bit, like a radio channel I am tuning into. I saw it once maybe 6 OYSes ago, and then it slipped away, as I went spinning off a cliff for a while before hearing it again within myself. The other, more negative channels and interpretations, are still there, but I don't need to give them oxygen. I am pruning myself. Second, I am more in the slow-boil-the-fro…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/22 02:24 PM
5

OYS 14 Age 38, married 8 years, together 14. Two kids under 7. 6’1” 194lbs/88kg Lifts active: BP: 88kg (194lbs) x5x3; DL: 105kg(230lbs)x5x3; Pendlay Row 90kg(200lbs)x5x3; good mornings 65(143lbs)x8x3; Standing military press: 52kg (114lbs)x5x3; Lifts on pause SQ: 70kg (155lbs)x5x3 Reading – WISNIFGx2. Read: Sidebar x1, Models, Mating in Captivity. Backburner -- Laws of Power, My Secret Garden, Subtle Art. Fitness / Health: > Results: A week with the stomach flu is a memorable week. Caught it las…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/22 12:28 PM
0

Hole in one.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/22 02:38 PM
6

OYS 13 Age 38, married 8 years, together 14. Two kids under 7. 6’1” 193lbs/88kg Lifts active: BP: 86.5kg (190lbs) x5x3; DL: 100kg(220lbs)x5x3; Pendlay Row 87kg(190lbs)x5x3; good mornings 63(140lbs)x8x3; Standing military press: 50kg (110lbs)x5x3; Lifts on pause SQ: 70kg (155lbs)x5x3 Read: Sidebar x1, Models. Reading – WISNIFGx2. Backburner -- Laws of Power, My Secret Garden, Subtle Art, Mating in Captivity. Fitness / Health: > Results: Second week of deadlifts went fine. Trainer is out for a wee…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/22 09:43 AM
1

I see you redirecting and reframing your emotions into actions in your OYS. And your bag of rocks is way, way heavier than mine. It's a good example what one can get through when moving forward. A mindfulness practice that highlights that your thoughts are just weather helps too.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/07/22 02:42 PM
1

OYS 12 Age 38, married 8 years, together 14. Two kids under 7. 6’1” 193lbs/88kg Lifts active: BP: 85kg (187lbs) x5x3; DL: 92kg(202lbs)x5x3; Pendlay Row 87kg(190lbs)x5x3; good mornings 63(140lbs)x8x3; Standing military press: 50kg (110lbs)x5x3; Lifts on pause SQ: 70kg (155lbs)x5x3 Read: Sidebar x1, Models. Reading – WISNIFGx2. Backburner -- Laws of Power, My Secret Garden, Subtle Art, Mating in Captivity. Fitness > Results: Starting up the deadlift again, pretty excited to do it. Feeling like I a…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/22 10:59 AM
1

Goddamnit that's depressing
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/22 02:34 PM
2

Great way to put it.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/22 12:39 PM
1

That's fair -- this place is a liberating gift, and I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Appreciate your sharing your cheat sheet. On your (1), clear beyond doubt and I am implementing it.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/22 11:29 AM
1

Thanks for engaging with me on this. I am interested in what works in the real world, end of the day, not what I imagine in my head. It's mixed messages all around. One flaired person claims it's one thing, another flaired person claims it's another, both achieving the sexual strategy they want. The only way I can make sense of that is because they have different lives. Can you explain that last bit, or point me in a direction? What is BPP's motivation? What is the reason that the 12 steps suck?…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/22 10:33 AM
10

OYS 11 Age 38, married 8 years, together 14. Two kids under 5. 6’1” 192lbs/87kg, BF about 19% Lifts active: BP: 84kg (185lbs) x5x3; SMP: 47kg (105lbs)x5x3; Pendlay Row 87kg(190lbs)x5x3; good mornings 63(140lbs)x8x3 Lifts on pause (overcoming injury, last lift) SQ: 70kg (155lbs)x5x3; DL: 105kg (230lbs)x5x3; Read: Sidebar x1, Models. Reading – Laws of Power, My Secret Garden, Subtle Art, Mating in Captivity, WISNIFGx2. Reading > Results: I’ve been devouring MRP threads and people’s OYS records to …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/22 09:02 AM
1

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion... I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain... Time to die.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/22 09:29 AM
1

What a great comment, I appreciate it u/Blarg_Risen It makes me think of a hard rainy day, with the drops banging hard on the windows. And how good it feels to be in that house, exactly because it is raining hard outside. To clarify, the space is UNSAFE for whom? For us, right? Because it demands the man's vulnerability, which demands authenticity and confidence. And that in turn allows the woman to: As I let go of myself can I trust im not in danger?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/22 09:27 AM
2

Thanks for the clear insight. "You don't follow the old rules, here are new rules, they are super real, follow them". Link made me laugh as I imagine her having Darth's voicebox and helmet on.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/22 01:54 PM
2

How do you think about laddering up the micro, ie every time I enter a room what do I want, to the macro, ie why do I have these preferences over time and different rooms.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/22 11:03 AM
4

OYS 10 Age 38, married 8 years, together 14. Two kids under 5. 6’1” 192lbs/87kg, BF about 19% Lifts (last) BP: 84kg (185lbs) x5x3; SMP: 47kg (105lbs)x5,4,3. Injured, not improving SQ: 70kg (155lbs)x5x3; DL: 105kg (230lbs)x5x3; Read: Sidebar x1, Models. Reading – Laws of Power, My Secret Garden, Subtle Art, Mating in Captivity Fitness > Results: Pushing good mornings to 62kg*(136lbs)x8x3 and pendlay rows to 82kg(180lbs)x5x4, rest is flat with a technique fail on the bench. Last week I noticed tha…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/22 08:59 AM
2

Thanks to you both for chiselling at this. I can see these are different levels along the path, and how I am confused about short and long term. Yes I am deep in her frame. But I can see it’s shape now, and parts of my own. I take improvement one day at a time by focusing on me. No nothing drastic is happening, but it’s better than before. I can get myself to slowly boil the water. Probably too slow, but I don’t have enough evidence yet. I’m guessing I’ll get so frustrated with the dancing monke…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/22 09:15 PM
1

Of course. Thanks for linking, will read through it again.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/22 09:07 PM
2

Thanks for this, it's insightful. Took me a few passes to read this: confidence that you (the one being vulnerable) have the mental and emotional strength to handle any unexpected or negative response to the vulnerability you expose, and confidence that the person with whom you're being vulnerable can handle the emotions you expose and respond authentically, without freaking out or judging or taking advantage or shutting down. So vulnerability is something like self disclosure, exposing yourself…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/22 12:19 PM
5

OYS 9 Age 38, married 8 years, together 14. Two kids under 5. 6’1” 192bs/87kg, BF about 19% Lifts (last) BP: 84kg (185lbs) x5x3; SMP: 47kg (105lbs)x5,4,3. Injured, not improving SQ: 70kg (155lbs)x5x3; DL: 105kg (230lbs)x5x3; Read: Sidebar x1, Models. Reading – Laws of Power, My Secret Garden, Subtle Art, Mating in Captivity Fitness > Results: Good mornings to 60kg(132lbs)x5x4, Pendlay rows to 80kg(176lbs)x5x4. I have finally discovered that I have hamstrings and hips, and that they can stabilize…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/22 10:29 AM
2

The world isn't over if you don't get your dick wet that night. The last thing you want is a scoreboarded, tit for tat sex life. Good advice. I'll stick with just the tits.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/22 08:37 AM
5

Yes, I got butthurt, was surprised by it, and then got trapped in my anger at her and at myself. My lack of confidence and need for validation, which had been amplified in my mind that day, got me stuck in an interaction where I hated both options — saying nothing, saying something. This time I didn’t get through it well, next time I will get through it better. Fwiw the day after ie yesterday, I was playful and kind, without trying to come to her for any physical content. From the morning on, sh…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/22 08:45 AM
2

Yeah, that makes sense, and my plan. I don’t want to be negotiating desire. You did this so I do that and if you do this then I do that. You withdrew because I didn’t put out etc. The real shift is if she’s coming from a place of getting gratification or validation from me. But the only thing I can control are my own actions.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/22 01:09 PM
7

OYS 8 Age 38, married 8 years, together 14. Two kids under 5. 6’1” 192bs/86.9kg, BF about 20% Lifts (last) BP: 84kg (185lbs) x5x3; SMP: 45kg (100lbs)x5x3. Injured/not improving SQ: 70kg (155lbs)x5x3; DL: 105kg (230lbs)x5x3. Read: Sidebar x1, Models. Reading – Laws of Power, My Secret Garden, Subtle Art, Mating in Captivity Fitness > Results: Cleared the bench 185x5x3 and the shoulder press 100x5x3. Had done sprints the night before and felt super beat during the morning lift, but got over the nu…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/22 11:59 AM
1

I get a kick from teasing a crowd, so I think the former. It’s energising and sharpening.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/22 06:54 PM
-2

Here is my handle, here is my spout!
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/22 01:10 PM
-1

Yep. I come from the private equity / venture as well as asset allocation side of the industry. You either hold to exit or just rebalance to target. But it’s not working how I want.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/22 12:00 PM
2

OYS 7 Age 38, married 8 years, together 14. Two kids under 5. 6’1” 193bs/88kg Lifts (last) BP: 84kg (185lbs) x5x2; SQ: 70kg (155lbs)x5x3; DL: 105kg (230lbs)x5x3; SMP: 45kg (100lbs)x5x2. Read: Sidebar x1, Models. Reading – Laws of Power, My Secret Garden, Subtle Art, Mating in Captivity Fitness >Results: Last week got Pendlay row to 170 lbs (+5) and good mornings to 120 lbs (+10). Stalled out on the last rep of 185x5,5,4 bench, and the last rep of a 100x5,5,4 standing shoulder press; one more rep…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/22 10:08 AM
4

Appreciate it, thank you. I am the prize and therefore my gifts are good, and also their goodness requires no judge other than me to deem them so. The recipient is fortunate. I don’t have to inhibit and diminish myself through the frames of others. Holding the keys to yourself is attractive.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/22 10:05 PM
3

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/22 04:57 PM
1

Figuring yourself out through the scientific method. Running experiments that test you against the hypothesis of what the sidebar suggest makes a fulfilled man based on the observation of others. Without experiments, ie doing, I won’t find out any answers about myself.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/22 02:54 PM
5

OYS 6 Age 38, married 8 years, together 14. Two kids under 5. 6’1” 193bs/88kg, BF about 20% Lifts (last) BP: 84kg (185lbs) x5x2; SQ: 70kg (155lbs)x5x3; DL: 105kg (230lbs)x5x3; SMP: 45kg (100lbs)x5x2. Read: Sidebar x1, Models. Reading – Laws of Power, My Secret Garden, Subtle Art, Mating in Captivity Fitness > Results: On track with the volume and progression. I failed out of the last rep on standing shoulder press and bench press last week (5,5,4), which tells me that I am actually starting to p…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/22 11:12 AM
1

Very meta, likely true. Live in the present and in the body, not in the future and in the mind. Thanks. So hard to snip it.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/22 01:41 PM
1

I’m not sure. Covert contracts are doing things for others while secretly expecting something back, rather than doing things for the goal in itself. If I give freely, and don’t expect a reward covertly, then it’s not toxic. My fitness goals are to achieve health and strength for myself. Yea there’s probably some dancing monkey in there in the short term, but I’m not framing it that way. My frame goal isn’t for others, it’s for me. Will take work to dig out further. The marriage one is oriented t…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/22 07:38 PM
1

OYS 5 Age 38, married 8 years, together 14. Two kids under 5. 6’1” 193bs/88kg, BF about 20% Lifts (last) BP: 82kg (180lbs) x5x3; SQ: 70kg (155lbs)x5x3; DL: 105kg (230lbs)x5x3; SMP: 40kg (88lbs)x7x3. Read: Sidebar x1. Reading – Models, Subtle Art, Mating in Captivity Back after 28 days for Rule 9, 13. Restructuring the OYS to focus on self, and be measurable. Fitness > Goal: By end of year, 195 lbs at 15% bodyfat. Lose 10lbs fat, add 10 lbs muscle. Don’t get injured and stall out. > Results: Lift…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/22 11:25 AM
1

Self correction with a to do - Reread NMMNG.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/22 08:43 PM
1

Hmm. Thanks for pointing it out. I’m obviously struggling to rewire this. Or even find the wires. Where they start and stop. I mean, we have A leads to B in all sorts of other places in life. I want money, I indirectly get it by doing work. I don’t get money by asking for money. I want to get stronger, I work out to get stronger. I don’t get stronger by stating a desire to get stronger. Dancing monkey routine for everything but attraction?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/22 08:30 PM
1

Give.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/22 04:03 PM
1

I think that kinoing and gaming women is the way to get sex from them, yes. In the after times, when I have 5% body fat and squatting 500kg, while taking Twitter private, I will effortlessly attract. But while on the path to becoming such a magnet, putting effort into game seems to make things easier based on what I've read here. But then I am just internalizing and trusting the values I've read here, and not creating my own values. Because I want someone else to do the work I am supposed to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/22 01:12 PM
1

Ah. There it is, thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/22 01:06 PM
1

I have dumb questions. Aren’t kino and gaming your wife the things to practice? Anything you’re doing in the beginning will be awkward / low quality but isn’t that the nature of practice? What’s the difference between that and the Sex Piggy Bank?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/22 12:41 PM
1

OYS 4 Age 38, married 8 years, together 14. Wife 38. 2 kids under 5. 6’1”; 194 lbs (from 196 lbs), BF 20.8% (from 22% via Body+) Lifts (in last month): BP: 75kgx5x3; SQ: 70kgx5x3; DL: 105kgx5x3; SSP: 32kgx7x3. Read: NMMNG, MMSLP, WISNIFG, Practical Female Psychology, Sperm Wars, SGM, Book of Pook, MAP, MRP forum. In progress -- Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, Mating in Captivity Diet/Lifting I had a pinched lower back nerve in the last OYS. I fixed it by going to a sports massage therapist, and…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/22 12:12 PM
2

Ok, so the prescription is: If you aren’t building attraction to the point where a woman is begging and pleading you to thrust your cock into her, you’re doing her a disservice. Because to a woman, anything less feels like rape. So hit the gym, be hot, be confident, be successful, social, interesting, and awesome. Be a 12 out of 10 who’s so unrealistically badass that women beg for your dick. ​ To clarify one more level. Here's the problem statement. Take my friend. His wife doesn’t want to have…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/22 10:50 AM
2

This hurts so good. Thanks!
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/22 08:50 AM
1

Thanks for the truth. It was cringe to do and to write about it. I know she's not attracted, and have internalized it for a few months. I am here because I don't want to be a man to which women are not attracted. On a macro level I am starting to understand what to do. But on a daily level, it feels like chaos.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 01:34 PM
1

OYS 3 Age 38, married 8 years, together 14. Wife 38. Two kids under 5. 6’1” 88kg (-1kg since OYS1), BF about 20% Lifts (in last month): BP: 75kgx5x3; SQ: 70kgx5x3; DL: 105kgx5x3; SSP: 30kgx7x3. Read: NMMNG, MMSLP, WISNIFG, Practical Female Psychology, Sperm Wars, SGM, Book of Pook, MAP, MRP forum. In progress: Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, Mating in Captivity Diet/Lifting 2 days of physical activity while recovering from the back sprain – 45 min light bike to open up the muscle, and one day o…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 11:23 AM
1

This is an insightful point. I am pausing to digest and try to internalize. What are examples of such an emotional arc? I mean, is the pleasure of the act enough?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/22 07:16 PM
2

OYS 2 Age 38, married 8 years, together 14. Wife 38. Two kids under 5. 6’1” 196lbs/89kg, BF about 21% Lifts: BP: 77kgx5x3; SQ: 70kgx5x3; DL: 105kgx5x3; standing SP: 30kgx7x3. Read: NMMNG, MMSLP, WISNIFG, Practical Female Psychology, Sperm Wars, SGM, Book of Pook, MAP, Why Women Have Sex, MRP forum Reading: Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, Mating in Captivity Diet/Lifting: 4/7 active days. I hit a PR on a deadlift Monday of last week, at 105kg. But I did it while halfway through a cold and with b…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/22 10:02 AM
1

I am scared of the world saying No to me, and displeasing it. My wife is just the closest and loudest symptom, and she finds my weakness weak. Read + lift, yes. Read read read.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/22 02:56 PM
1

Thank you. It is boring, and feels awkward. I am upping touching during the day to just normalize being physical all the time. I will convert during the day. On the time and attention and verbal intercouse. Super powerful post, and I am working on seeing it that way. My obstacle is that I had removed a lot of my attention from her (and the household) into work over last several years, and I believe that I did too little verbal intercouse and generated no feelings, which looped into no sex (and v…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/22 02:54 PM
3

OYS 1 Age 38, married 8 years, together 14. Wife 38. Two kids under 5. 6’1” 196lbs/89kg, BF about 20% (working on getting a better measurement) Lifts: BP: 75kgx5x3; SQ: 70kgx5x3; DL: 105kgx5x3; SSP: 30kgx7x3. Restarted strength program this year after about 7 years of chronic ligament/tendon/pain issues in lower back, shoulder, knees, which I interpreted as killing my ability to do real fitness. Since Jan 2022, I am working with a trainer who doubles as physical therapist and is reviving me and …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/22 11:07 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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