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Bezzazz Archive

View 1 posts and 110 comments by Bezzazz on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

This is the correct take. I very briefly experienced something like this last year and it was so incredibly uncomfortable that I just walked away from it all entirely. I'm not interested in that dynamic, and I'm not interested in dating someone who lacks boundaries or in any way entertains that desperation. It gives the ick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/22 02:20 AM
9

Ewwwww. Yeah that's not a date, that feels sleazy and like he's trying to make you into his sugar baby 🤮 gross!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/22 04:26 PM
11

Oh my god we might have 😂 he went on about how he "spent so much money", why couldn't I do this one thing for him, and I'm like...I specifically told you not to??? Also even if I did ask you to, that doesn't mean you're entitled to sex??? He posted weird statuses about me and sent me a weird text months later, and I told him to leave me alone and blocked him. Before that he wanted to know why I hated him so much. I didn't even hate him, I just found him creepy and revolting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/22 04:24 PM
26

🙄 I think he's full of it and wants to manipulate women into acting this way so that it's easier like scum for him to get laid. Loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/22 04:22 PM
50

1000% agreed. The one time I dated a more "traditional" guy, he tried to impress me by buying me lots of things. But they weren't things I liked!! Like he would ask me if I was into something, I would say no and explain why, and then he would buy me something related to that. He also tried to offer to pay for a trip I was taking with a friend early in the relationship, which should have been a glaring red flag right there. He thought he could buy access to me. This backfired a lot for him, becau…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/22 02:35 AM
159

Yesss. What I will not do is take full responsibility for another living human while also cleaning up after someone else. What I will do is give my nieces something to aspire to, and a third party, trusted adult that can help them with things they might not feel comfortable talking to their parents about. Including $$$ for college, or whatever they need.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 09:08 PM
72

I feel the same way. I've decided not to pursue relationships with men from here on out. Even when they're not horrible, they're not really great, either. I've been reflecting a lot on my past relationships with men and women, and it seems like there's always been some kind of power struggle. I was insecure, and I dated insecure partners who felt the need to control me to insure I wouldn't leave. I kinda did the same thing in some ways - by giving so much, by going above and beyond, I was trying…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/22 01:22 PM
28

OOP is insecure and hates himself, and is projecting that onto her. She's only dated shitty guys until him. A part of him is probably wondering if maybe he's not so great in comparison to them as he initially thought. Truthfully, he probably isn't that great compared to them, and now he's under an expectation that he knows he can't uphold, so he's blaming/mad at her. Basically he's a piece of shit, but instead of taking responsibility for his flaws and working on them, he's mad at her for dating…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 02:50 PM
55

Do they not realize: 1) the girl you're being "cock blocked" from is only being nice to you because she's drunk, scared, or both 2) the girl doing the "cock blocking" was usually specifically asked to do that by the girl you're after.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 12:40 PM
108

Yeah, I hate how if a woman snoops through his stuff because she suspects cheating, and she's right (she usually is), she's portrayed as "crazy". I've read and heard so, so many stories about it that at this point I think women should just trust their gut. If you have a feeling he's cheating or going to cheat, drop him. Don't doubt yourself. There is a reason you have that feeling. Something is going on, you can't trust that person, and that's all you need to know to end things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 01:56 PM
38

Always always keep money saved without your man knowing. This. This is actually something that I grew up thinking was completely normal and reasonable. Keeping secret money stashed away is a strategy that female victims of abusive relationships passed down to their daughters, for a very good reason. Now that women have more economic mobility and opportunities than they did in the past, it just makes sense to keep some of your finances separate no matter how much you love and trust your spouse. F…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 06:30 PM
61

As a woman who has never had a problem raising her voice and making her rage well known, I really, really wish more women would get comfortable being angry. Why? Why is she asking if she's cRaZy for this? Why is she not screaming at him the first time he does something messed up like that? We really need to normalize female rage in response to situations like these.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 10:33 PM
77

What the fuck is wrong with him? Also what the fuck is wrong with Omeid?? What more is there to think about!? Child **** actively harms children because how the hell do you think it's made?! Even if it's "cartoons", it's still encouraging the exploitation and fetishization of children. Your moment of orgasm is not a right. It is not worth a lifetime of PTSD on another human being. Fuck these men. There IS something wrong with thinking about this stuff for your own sexual pleasure. When you form …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 03:05 PM
95

I've seen fake, made-up screenshots of bizarre posts "from FDS" before. I think the last one I saw that blew up was about stealing a guy's gaming system because he asked for anal or something like that?? And I was like nah there's no way that would ever be posted or supported here. Even the most "extreme" FDS takes aren't anything like that. Basically, the haters are making propaganda out of faked screenshots of FDS posts that paint it as a place for extreme misandrists to promote theft and craz…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 10:04 PM
6

Absolutely suspicious. God, it's so poorly written, is he even trying??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 11:06 PM
93

It's never mattered how I've presented - femme, butch, skimpy, fully covered, men have harassed me and made inappropriate comments either way. If anything, it almost seems like being butch and frumpy/"modest" attracts more LVM than when I was much more feminine presenting and showed more skin. Men who "appreciate modesty in a woman" just appreciate a woman that can be easily shamed and controlled. Men like that are also usually not accustomed to taking full accountability for their actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 11:21 PM
10

Only when I was in highschool, and they never got better, just better at lying. As women we're inclined to be fair and give someone a second chance. Maybe they were dealing with something, and gosh, haven't we all been there? But unlike men we are held to higher expectations in terms of our social behavior. We are "supposed" to be good and kind. Men aren't beholden to those same standards; they're praised for being manipulative and domineering to win at all costs, and it's called "being innovati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 02:15 AM
79

A pick-me is someone who will lower themselves and others to appeal to someone else (usually a man), receiving validation or attention in return. I was a pick-me throughout highschool and the first year of college. If my boyfriend hated the music I listened to, I listened to what he liked instead. If he didn't like someone, or made fun of a specific kind of girl/woman, I'd do the same. It was very sad; I didn't feel loved at home, and I didn't really know how to value platonic love even though I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 05:50 PM
93

This is every self-proclaimed "leftist" man I have ever met in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 05:41 PM
38

Yes, I know one who does this. I make sure to refer to men as "the men" or "males" exclusively around her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 12:59 AM
120

A guy posts 200 pictures of his baby on insta? Women say: "What a great dad!!!" This. This drives me insane. My best friend's LV husband can't even watch the kids so that she can run to the store, but he'll post 20 pictures every holiday, which he buys them cute outfits and other props for. Everyone acts like he's such a great father, and even she thinks he must be amazing because their children love him...they're toddlers. Of course they love him. At least he's gainfully employed and has a care…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 02:30 PM
6

That's weird. Okay, so they got under your skin...well, now they're blocked, so they can't do it ever again (unless you unblock them). Why wouldn't you take the opportunity to take out the trash?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 01:11 AM
27

This was the hardest thing for me to finally act on in 2021, but it was the best thing I ever did, and now, I've decided to go the polar opposite direction in 2022: no excuses, and no explanations, they're cut off at the first red flag. Be ruthless. It's your life. Do you really, truly want to spend it stressed out over some unattractive, socially incompetent, selfish, emotionally immature man child? Do you want to come home in ten years to a house that only you clean, to a husband that doesn't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 01:42 AM
33

I would sooner pass away happily single with my cat(s), in my comfortable, clean home, with delicious home cooked meals that I made, while doing the things I enjoy, than I would pass away married to any LVM that is incapable of caring for himself, much less the impact his actions have on others. We're perfectly capable of living happily and healthily without a romantic relationship, or until one that satisfies our needs comes along. They are so mad about it. They need us; we don't need them. Suc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 09:17 PM
44

Honestly I'm proud of that cashier. I had a "fawn" response at her age, which I think a lot of young women probably do, and being nice to them in the hopes that they would fuck off without any trouble never worked. She handled that exactly as she should have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 08:16 PM
46

Yes. There is a difference between artistic appreciation, and fetishization. This is fetishization. How often do the women have faces, how often do you even see the entire body, and how often is there a focus on something other than their tits or ass? I haven't seen that in those subreddits yet. You can really tell that the art is influenced by porn based on how female bodies are displayed. It's a reminder that to many men, even ones with artistic talent and the dedication to complete a painting…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 11:36 AM
44

I'm on the east coast of the US, and I had a needle mark on the inside of my bicep the morning after a bar outing with some people from work. I've no suspicion that anyone from work did it - but I was at the bar, the dancefloor, and the bathroom a few times on my own, it was incredibly crowded, and I was extremely drunk. I don't think I got drugged, but someone still stabbed me with something. No one took it seriously or believed me, even though it was fairly obvious what that mark was. I've nev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 12:08 AM
21

If I took myself out on a date and a man approached me with this, I would stare at him, stone faced and silent, until he walked away. Or I would pretend not to notice him. That is 100% something someone who needs to be on medicine would say, and I would be thinking he must be having some kind of episode.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 02:26 PM
6

I don't think that's an unpopular opinion! I completely agree with you. I think a lot of the advice shared is being given by people who maybe are more upper middle class, conventionally feminine, etc, so that's why you'll see specific suggestions like going to have a spa day. But the general gist of it all is to invest in doing or having things that make you happy, and not giving them up completely to prioritize a relationship, or a man's needs over your own. That's going to look different for e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 03:38 AM
56

Men are the biggest goldiggers so never underestimate their eagerness to rinse you. They seriously are, even for women who are poor. My mother, after the divorce, dated a lot of poor(er) men. They weren't poor because they'd had hard lives, they were poor because they had a drinking problem, and they had made shitty life choices consistently, for decades. They just wanted a free place to live, someone to buy their groceries and cook their meals, and someone to fuck. My mom isn't and never was we…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 05:27 PM
9

I've never felt pressured to kiss or have sex with other women; I have had men say that they think it's "hot" though, which was automatically off-putting and gross to me even in my full on pickme days. FDS values very much apply to women. I was in a year and a half long relationship with another woman who treated me like a bangmaid. She wanted to be "the man" in the relationship, while doing none of the men's work. She was also from a very wealthy family, and I was dead broke - she would dangle …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 09:57 PM
68

Oh, you actually make a very good point! I think it could still happen, but vetting to FDS standards would make it extremely unlikely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 06:17 AM
133

Lately I've been reconsidering if I even want to date men at all anymore, because it seems so incredibly risky. There's no way to predict or find out if someone will be this depraved until it's too late. If anything, the worse they are, the better they are at hiding it. No fucking thanks! I'll stick with being a cat lady.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 06:14 AM
91

I hate it when they try that. I'm just like, okay. Go be with the other women that want you then. Have fun! Don't waste my time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 05:34 PM
9

Pedophilia should be stigmatized. Pedophiles should feel ashamed to be pedophiles. The whole point of shame is that it keeps people from talking about or acting on things that would get them rejected from society. Pedophiles don't finally give into their urges because they were "too ashamed to seek treatment". Pedophiles give into their urges because they fundamentally believe that it's okay for them to do so based on their feelings and urges. Suggesting that pedophiles will offend due to shame …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 11:34 AM
57

I don't believe that men know what love is. I don't think men like him are capable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 02:47 AM
133

He is disgusting. Acne and acne scars are pretty common, if it was such an issue for him, why did he enter a relationship with you to begin with 🙄 Thing is, he knows he has a problem. He's ashamed, and he feels insecure, so he's lashing out at you and your insecurities to try and even the score. If you feel like you're just as bad as he is, you won't be as likely to assert your boundaries. Don't ever speak to him again. If you have to, say as little as possible. He wants a reaction, but mostly, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 01:42 AM
14

Therapy is not enough to fix an addict because deep down they think people who keep them from their addiction are the enemy. They do not see anything wrong with their addiction. This is really important. I have a family member who is a recovering heroin addict. They absolutely think and feel this way. Whether it's porn, heroin, or sex, all addicts have this mindset. There is not a single thing anyone except the addict can do to change it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 10:13 PM
90

Yup! The pity party used to get me every time. Oh, poor guy, he has low self esteem! His dad abused him too! My friends' love and support helped me grow, after all! It must be harder because he's a guy and can't talk to his friends! He just needs a supportive person like me to love him! No, the hell he does not. He needs to grow up, take accountability for his actions and behaviors, develop a little self awareness, and GO TO THERAPY or work on his shit like the rest of us with tough lives had to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 04:23 PM
13

Sis it's not you, most men are manipulative liars This is the key takeaway here. Maybe not all men are physically violent or outright insulting, but an overwhelming majority don't see any issue whatsoever with lying to you, over and over, in order to get what they want from you. Which is inherently disrespectful, and emotionally abusive. The worst mistake we can make as women is allowing our self worth to be defined by how our romantic partners (men) treat us. I know I at the very least have fel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 09:55 AM
17

Pretty recently, within the past year (24-25). It's been very difficult for me to stop desiring it so strongly. But recognizing that the feelings I'm getting when I think I'm "in love" aren't based in any type of reality, and are in fact going to cause me harm, is making it easier to leave relationships that aren't fulfilling for me much faster. It might sound cheesey, but inner child work is really important, at least it is for me. I've always just wanted to simply be loved, but realistically, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 10:50 AM
7

YES!!! Also if he says he "used to be" any type of way? No. He still is that. And if he's "worried" that he could be (insert bad trait here: manipulative, etc) he's basically TELLING YOU THAT HE IS. If he claims that emotional support is important in a relationship? He's looking for a free, unqualified therapist. If they throw some pity plays in the mix, get the fuck outta there asap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 10:24 AM
72

Oh THAT'S hilarious. One of my closer friends who's a gay man used to complain about how disgusting men are. He used to show me some of the messages he got on Grindr when we were in college...abusive would be one way to describe them. They also send unsolicited dick pics and sexts. But no, women are the problem! It's not that male sexual expression has been conditioned to be based on violence or anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 10:02 AM
135

Here's what I've learned. Any time - EVER - a man says that his ex complained about or dumped him over something? He absolutely did that thing. And he will absolutely do it to you. If he tries to say that he's "working on it" or that he's changed, HE HAS NOT. That is a lie 100% of the time. My most recent ex got dumped because his ex said he didn't put effort into the relationship. Within two weeks of us being in an exclusive relationship, he was inviting friends with us on dates, not texting me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 04:31 PM
90

Yeah, I'd hate to be Genny. This would terrify me honestly. How can you be obsessed with someone who you barely knew for ten years???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 03:04 PM
28

I'm honestly sick to goddamn death of men's abuse being excused by tRaUmA. I don't feel sorry for them, and I never will. No one should. They'll just use that pity to manipulate and abuse even more, and more discreetly. Thousands, if not millions, of little girls and women endure unspeakable horrors every single day, and the overwhelming majority do not grow up to beat and rape their partners. Men do; it's not trauma. It's a culture of male entitlement and privilege.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 12:59 AM
8

Oh, there's a name for these mental gymnastics: Madonna and the Wh*re Complex I think? It is absolutely wild. Before a woman is sexualized, she's pure, beautiful, and worthy of respect and protection. She is put on a pedestal. But the second she fucks him or is an any way a sexual being, she becomes a wh*re. She is to be disrespected and degraded. In either scenerio, the woman is an object for the man to project how he wants to see himself. Is he the white knight for the Madonna, or is he the se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 12:39 AM
49

I'm in an FB group about breakups that is littered with pickmes, and sooooo many people have asked: do you consider it cheating if your husband goes to a strip club? And all these women in the comments are going: no! He's not going to touch them or anything. He's just going to look. He comes home to me. I'd gO wItH hIm! Not wanting your husband to go to a strip club is being "controlling" and "insecure" apparently. Interestingly, none of these women have ever said they want to go to a male strip…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 09:36 PM
7

As a woman who has suffered many, many sexual and relationship traumas - starting in childhood - I have never been more thankful for a community like this. This, therapy, and journaling have all helped me make significant progress in recovery. I backslid a little since I got here, but knowing I'm not alone, and that I can choose a happier future by having healthy boundaries and standards got me to bounce back very quickly. This sub has the kind of women supporting women energy that I needed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 02:35 AM
96

Almost every women have faced harassment by older men when they were young teens. YUP. Also, it really is interesting how they're so mad at us for saying something about these pedophile ass men, but not at the pedos? Hit dogs holler I guess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 02:08 AM
9

I used to be like that, and what finally made me change my mind was learning that most "sex work" is actually trafficking. A woman may potentially go into it willingly, but may not be allowed to leave and may not even be paid later on. Pimps will target drug addicts - is that really a free choice? And then there's women who literally only turn to sex work because they're in poverty. Again, not really a free choice. Even when a woman does do something like OF, camming, or stripping, there are ris…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 02:19 PM
13

This!! My NVX was gaslighting me about a condom wrapper I found on the floor of his room that I knew wasn't from us. My intuition and my trauma responses were going haywire, and I was a little bit in denial. I was having trouble trusting myself because the anxiety response I was having was so intense. So I did a deep dive on his Insta and I found out he was following the BDSM photography porn account of someone he "used to" have a thing for. And he had liked every. Single. Fucking. Post. Includi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 05:39 PM
25

I think it's a little bit of both. Yes, maybe he is disgusted by the thought of women peeing and using the bathroom. But he doesn't legitimately believe that they never do. It's not actually about "cleanliness". It's about it being sexually unappealing to him to see women as having bodily functions, and by extension, being human beings equal in value to himself. Because it is unappealing to him, and because he likely feels entitled to women appearing and acting sexually attractive to him at all …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 05:12 PM
11

It blows my mind as a bisexual woman how men don't take no for an answer. No answer is an answer! I've had a woman talk to me daily for three weeks, make plans to meet up for dinner and a movie, and then the day of? Nothing. Never heard from her again. I sent her two messages that day: 1. Asking if we're still on for today, 2. Wishing her well after it was obvious I'd been blown off. Does it hurt your feelings a bit? Well, yeah. Of course it doesn't feel good at the time. But does that mean that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 12:23 AM
8

Exactly. If he wants to believe I'm insecure for knowing I deserve better, I'll let him. Idiots can believe whatever they want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 01:27 AM
14

Same here. Anyone who has to talk a big game about how much they've changed since they were "saved" has neither changed nor found any kind of spiritual enlightenment. What they have found is a convincing, trustworthy persona that lulls people into a false sense of security, even if only temporarily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 02:59 AM
3

Hey ladies! I have a quick question. So I know another woman who has mentioned that she has an easier time talking to and interacting with men than women, especially professionally. She says she feels like she doesn't have to worry so much about the men taking things personally, or being offended easily. Like she can tease the men and they won't get as offended. What is y'all's take on this?? Are women more complicated to communicate with in professional environments?? I've been equally frustrat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 02:22 AM
42

I don't think you can process trauma while refusing to address the justifications you're using for why you're allowing yourself to be harmed. Exactly this. I'm sorry that you can relate so much to this, and it's not an easy, quick process to untangle. But it can be done!! It took me a few years and I still need to be stronger with boundaries, but I no longer seek out being choked, etc. It can and does get better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 02:49 AM
379

Former "sub" - I can't speak for why they enjoy it, but when I was into more hardcore BDSM acts, it's because it's what was familiar to me, in a way. I have attachment issues from abusive parents, and I grew up around a lot of domestic violence. I don't think I was capable of understanding that love, and acts of love, could exist and be enjoyable, without violence attached. I couldn't understand how to show someone that I was attracted to them, and enjoyed them, unless they were in some way will…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 10:40 PM
7

So unfortunately, you can experience both at exactly the same time. And unfortunately, your anxiety/trauma can make you hyper aware, subconsciously, to clues that you are being lied to or that something is extremely off about someone. Sometimes you can get one before the other, and then both. Your anxiety is not always wrong, I hate to say it. Intuition feels like a kind of quiet knowledge. When I knew I was being lied to, to my face, it didn't give me a panicky feeling. In the moment it was jus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 02:35 AM
19

I've had this happen before when grocery shopping later at night, a few years ago. The woman asked me to join a Bible study group that focuses on "God as the mother". I'd heard something about this tactic before, so I took a veeeeeery long time to finish shopping and made sure she was gone before I left. Thanks for getting the word out. I was new in the area then and desperate for friends - I easily could have fallen into that trap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 02:02 AM
10

For the past decade just about there's been a lot of focus on male serial killers and predators. I'd really like for that focus to be shared with female predators that assist them. I want to know what the hell happens in a woman's mind that makes her decide to victimize other women like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 01:59 AM
70

I'm so sorry that she has been treated this way. No one deserves to be spoken to like that. I hope she's been able to find the support that she needs, the world in general is so unkind to rape victims. Bringing attractiveness into it is just another way to victim blame. If you're "hot", it's your fault because you somehow tempted them by being attractive. If you're "ugly", then you're lying and desperate for attention. It does not matter what someone looks like, anything will be done to place th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 01:05 AM
315

Rape isn't even about sexual urges. It's always about power and control. That's why there are men who will rape their partners even when their partners already have consensual sex with them. It's why men will rape women they claim "aren't even hot". It's why men rape each other in prison. It isn't about sexual urges, it is purely about denigrating and hurting the other person in the most vile way possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 12:07 AM
68

LMAO so my ex told me some fucking sob story about how when he was little, he got taken to some laser tag/arcade place, and then one day it closed down. And apparently that was when he realized nothing lasts forever, and he was soooo saaaaad. This was when we were getting to know each other and I don't know what the point of that story was. If he was trying to show his "soft side", it failed horribly, because it left me thinking he had the emotional depth of a puddle, which was correct. I can't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 02:06 PM
10

I'd try something similar to blood in the water for this. Whenever y'all start having sex regularly, ask him all about his kinks. List a few you "have" (make them up) and then ask what he's into. Act like the idea of learning about his kinks is really, really hot to you, or like you want to know because it'll "bring you closer". Best time to bring this up is on the way to a date, so that you don't get pressured into anything during or immediately after the conversation. They'll be so eager to ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 01:44 AM
75

To add onto this, even if you did come from poverty, and you worked your way further up and out of it, you still shouldn't date below your class. Those men will not admire and respect you for doing better, they will sneer at you and hate you for doing better when they couldn't or chose not to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 10:39 PM
8

Your daughter is blaming you for the same reason that everyone else is. It's easier than blaming him. It's probably too painful for her to know that her father is a fucking creep...and I get that. My father was hitting on my classmates when I was in high school, and it made me physically sick for months when I found out about it. But because it was more than one classmate that told me about it, because I saw it happen in front of my own eyes, and because I found his "teen porn" on MY laptop that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 04:29 AM
8

Yup, that's where I was at. I've removed the last flakey friend I was hanging onto, because she was the only friend I had in this city. I joined a couple of groups on Meetup, and y'know what? It's all going to be fine. I may not get the level of intimacy and familiarity with these people that I (incorrectly) felt I had shared with her, buuuuut at least I know that I can rely on these groups for actually doing things we all enjoy together. At least I know that everyone who shows up has showed up …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 04:14 AM
86

I really don't understand why this bothers them so much. Paying for someone's meal is the absolute lowest bare minimum thing you can do. Shit, do they know you don't even have to be attracted to someone to buy their dinner?? Sometimes I like to just treat my girl friends, because I can and because I value their time. It's literally the least that you can do to show your appreciation for someone's company. If being expected to adhere to basic hygiene standards and have the bare minimum of social …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 02:59 AM
62

Polyamory is becoming more common in the LGBTQ+ community too, and even without men involved, it's still toxic as fuuuuck in every situation that I've seen. I'm very live and let live, but I'll pass on allowing myself to be gaslit, manipulated, and played favorites with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 09:37 PM
5

Yeah 30 minutes into the first part of Eternal I was alarmed. Why did the unicorn need to turn into (at least an adolescent) dude, to kiss the literal child? What the fuck?? I've never seen Sailor Moon before, and it's always positively characterized, so that was very odd to me. Also, why does she have a crush on her dad? Why is she like competing with Usagi to be seen as beautiful, etc?? So far these are the things that are sticking out to me and bothering me. Incredibly sketchy. I like the dif…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 02:28 PM
1

I actually just dumped someone for this. Except he wasn't liking some random BDSM model's Instagram pics, which would have been hurtful enough. Nope. It was someone he'd "had a thing for" years ago, someone he "used to be" friends with. I blocked him on everything but one app, sent the screenshots through that, dumped him, and blocked him as soon as he started typing 💅. I should have seen this coming, though. Love bombing, future faking, 50/50, broke bumass. I backslid hard, and I'm going to the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 11:59 PM
18

Bonus points if they "hate saying their ex(es) are crazy" but they would "always accuse them of cheating" 100% it's because he fucking WAS. Ask me how I found out 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 11:40 PM
26

"Mature for her age" is just the nice way of saying "she'll do whatever we/he wants her to and she won't bitch about it or assert herself at all"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 03:22 AM
49

My last therapist (a man) straight up Not All Men-ed me when I explained to him why I was viscerally afraid of every man that I don't know. I was still in the "trust every therapist, they're the expert" mindset, and that was the first incident that snapped me out of it a bit. I'm still fucking pissed years later that he really did that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 10:02 PM
112

Also: being bamboozled is not a reflection on you. Being kind and empathetic is not a bad thing, but it can and will get you taken advantage of if you're naive. And almost all of us were (or are) at some point. If someone tricked you or manipulated you into a relationship where you felt belittled or disrespected, it's because they fucking sucked. It isn't your fault, all you can do is learn from it and protect yourself in the future. Having "fell for it" never means you deserved it, okay?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 11:45 PM
31

Bingo. Also, they're uncomfortable with the idea that someone could hurt them, so they kiss the abuser's ass in an attempt to be spared.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 11:19 PM
5

Oh yeah! I found this place when a guy I'd been friends with in college, who always smelled and looked unwashed, did nothing but complain and argue with people, and felt that it was unfair that women didn't want to date him, directed me here. Coincidentally we stopped being friends in the past year, because shockingly, people who are constantly negative and combative are really draining to be around!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 09:55 PM
3

....So, first, they blame the "bitter and lonely" women here for having "atrocious dating histories".... AND THEN, in THE SAME SENTENCE, they say "well this is probably because they haven't interacted with any ~real men~". Soooo, what were most of my male exes then, fucking imaginary? And if they're trying to argue they're not "real men" because they're abusive, toxic, etc, then how the fuck is that our fault? How can anyone be stupid enough to write that, much less believe it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 09:46 PM
4

I'd like one as well please!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 09:41 PM
51

The term "gender traitor" applies to any woman who knowingly and willingly supports a pedophile in any way, shape, or form, or who is a pedophile herself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 03:09 AM
3

"pOoR gIrLs dOnT hAvE eAtInG dIsOrDeRs" Hey scrotes, can you guess what kind of coping mechanism is really common amongst victims of sexual abuse who also lived in poverty????? OH YEAH! ANOREXIA! I think it's a shame that the author still has a penis, even if it is tiny and can't get hard anymore as a result of decades of death-grip jerking it to rape porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 11:42 PM
54

I've actually had a similar situation!! He fed me shots of hard liquor after I said I would have one drink. Then we cuddled in his bed and he started shoving his nasty tongue down my throat and groping me. So I groped him back, and then he freaked out. So I stopped...then he started doing that again, so I touched him back, again, and he freaked out, again. I think after that I just passed out because I don't remember anything, just waking up alone and confused at 2am. To this day I'm extremely c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 06:50 PM
2

God, I wish I could tell of my former GP. She, a woman in her 30s, just treated me like I was making shit up. I got an upper respiratory infection right when COVID hit in my city. It took days to find a test, and I tested negative. But I felt like I couldn't breathe, among other things, and I ended up being ill for four months. I went to see her after the first month of it had passed. I had tried to exercise and got a rash and fatigue after. She did bloodwork, but when nothing showed anything, s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 10:48 AM
19

No, you're not being alarmist! At the time I was more worried she was going to end her life because of the stress and depression. This was months ago and she's still alright, though more distant, which I also find worrying. Their relationship is unhealthy and the abuse towards her currently is verbal. She feels that it's okay because she's "abusive" too (she yells back). I tell her that's not really abuse, that's a response to abuse, but she doesn't really believe it. We've had a lot of conversa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 10:21 PM
88

My best friend eloped with her high school sweetheart, and she had twins with him a couple of years ago. He's resentful that the home isn't spotless when she has two toddlers running around, by herself all day, with NO help from him. I've encouraged her to make him help out, but when he does, he's borderline abusive to the children because he's just so fucking stupid. For example, she told him to feed them lunch, but not to give them juice, because they'll get too full and throw up. He did exact…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 06:27 PM
7

No, they don't. They just don't want to put in the effort because they don't actually care beyond getting laid. Which is low-value behavior and not something you should reward, if you value yourself. Almost all of my exes - men, women, nonbinary; serious, casual - would respond to my messages within a few hours, unless they were ill or in trouble. They'd even go out of their way to initiate contact with me most of the time. None of these folks were people I'd want to marry, and yet they still en…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 11:35 PM
3

Apparently I'm a fake account, brand new and made by an FDS mod 🙄 How on earth could this sub be considered biphobic or homophobic? These standards apply to anyone you would date!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 10:40 PM
57

Not sure what's worse. Telling them your needs and they outright berate you for them, or telling them your needs and having them pretend to listen, but never actually make any effort to meet them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 06:31 PM
16

You're absolutely right, it never worked well. My mom's side of the family was middle class white women in those types of marriages for a few generations (husband provided, wife took care of the house and kids). There was an insane amount of abuse and depravity in those men. Sure, their wives and kids were "taken care of", but their kids also grew up to become alcoholics and drug addicts, who perpetuated the cycle. When the women could finally divorce, they did, sometimes more than once. It didn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 05:36 PM
104

Even if women were gold diggers (which we're not), using a man for his money seems positively benign compared to using a woman for her body, then abusing her (which so many really do) I don't know if you ever saw or heard any of this attitude, but do you remember when Cardi B. talked about how she would drug men and rob them when she worked as a stripper? So many scrotes had the gall to directly compare that to rape. LVM literally believe that having their money taken is the exact same thing as …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 02:10 PM
8

That sounds like servitude. Make money for the household, manage the household, clean up after a man child, and cut the crusts off his PB&Js? Absolutely not. What the fuck is he contributing, other than skidmarked undies?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 03:03 PM
57

I also try to treat everyone the same way - kindly, friendly, attentive, etc., and have the same issue with men. I actually brought it up to my former therapist (a man) and explained that it was legitimately triggering for me at times because I felt like I couldn't simply be me with men specifically without inviting sexual objectification. It made me incredibly anxious and sad. His response was that I might think I'm treating everyone the same way, but that doesn't mean that men are taking it th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 01:33 AM
47

To the man that responded and had his comment removed; you're right! It's not all men. Just 20.8% of the men married to terminally or chronically ill spouses compared to the 3% of women in the same situation. So one fourth(fifth, since yall won't shut the fuck up, and one fifth is still a lot) of you are that shitty and selfish, which is enough for me to not want to risk partnering with any of you. Police yourselves better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 10:06 PM
49

Men are almost delusionally selfish, it is mind boggling. Their wife has a chronic or terminal illness, and all these men care about is whether or not someone will suck their dick and wash their skid marked tightie whities? Even if you're not in love with that person anymore, don't you care about them at all after building a life with them?? Truly they are twisted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 06:21 PM
67

I tried Seeking Arrangement once when I was 21. I made a total of $200 at $100 per date. I felt so disgusted by the idea of allowing myself to be used even just emotionally by an insecure older man that I vomited after the last date. He wanted me to come home and smoke a bowl with him for the third date, and meet his 14yo daughter. I told him I wasn't interested in sex, he said: whatever happens happens. At the time I thought naively he meant he would "change my mind" by trying to seduce me. As …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 01:12 AM
3

Instead he'll complain about how you're trying to pick a fight while you're communicating. YUP. That's exactly what they'll do. Basically telling them anything they don't want to hear is "picking a fight". Better to just block them on everything and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 04:50 AM
13

There absolutely is, and their excuse is the body positivity movement. They'll insist that since fat women are now allowed to feel and be seen as attractive, why can't men with dad bods? Why can't short guys? As usual, they've missed the entire fucking point of the body positivity movement. Body positivity isn't about forcing people to find anyone attractive. It's about not disparaging people for not adhering to conventional beauty standards. It's about encouraging those people to value themselv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:39 PM
12

So the dorm incident, my roommate had a really shitty boyfriend. Like he would call her stupid, ugly, etc, but of course he was "joking". He was also vocally racist. Me and him got into it many times because I didn't like him. This is long so buckle up! One day I left for work around 3-4pm, and told them I'd be back around 11pm and then I'd be going out again, and then I'd come back to the dorm to go to bed. He said they were going to watch movies and fuck, so knock first. I was like lol okay wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 12:25 PM
51

I've had 3 altercations with men in my lifetime so far at 25. Every time they were quick to threaten me, but they sure didn't follow through after getting a black eye, or smacked in front of the entire math class, or trapped in a dorm room by an angry mob. They're pussies. Keep a taser, gun, or brass knuckles, and do not be afraid to respond to threats of violence and the initiation of violence (someone shoving you, throwing things at you, charging at you) with direct violence. Let them fuck aro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 11:51 PM
40

I never understood why scrotes would perpetuate the "old maid" bullshit. I always heard it said that women reach their "peak" in their 30s, while men reach theirs in their 20s. And obviously I always believed that because it's reflected everywhere around us. I see a lot of women in their 30s in excellent shape, and I see a lot of men in their 30s that have gotten fat and bald. Dumb men just projecting as usual I guess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 05:57 PM
46

Yes, I went through this too! I thought my sex drive was the issue. But truth be told, I actually really enjoy sex when the person I'm having it with hasn't done something to hurt my feelings or make me uncomfortable. Eventually I just decided that once I felt that way, we were done. Obv now I know it would be easier to wait longer before having sex with people who don't deserve me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 09:24 PM
29

I seriously appreciate FDS. I see women of all varieties married to or forever-dating these manchildren, and everyone acts like I'm the crazy one for not thinking that's something to aspire to. I don't want to work 40 hours a week to come home and do the cooking and cleaning of an entire extra person, who is working just as much as I am, and is just as capable of cleaning up after themselves as I am. I don't want to continously parent an adult. If that means I stay single forever, thank god! I'd…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 01:51 AM
230

It worked on me in college, because the trash LVM played the long con. I thought we actually were friends, because for 2 years we hung out a lot and had a strong emotional bond after a year or so. Then in the last several months of our friendship, things went south with both of our partners, and we ended up in the dreaded situation-ship. This mf had me at brunch, and then spending the afternoon with, him and his parents. Then he blew me off a few times after that, and had a complete meltdown whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 02:39 PM
45

Precisely. Even violent women are not as sadistic as violent men. Take Aileen Wuornos versus Ted Bundy. Wuornos killed men that assaulted or abused her during sex work. Ted Bundy stalked random women and committed acts of necrophilia. One of them was sadistic. The other finally snapped after decades of abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 02:41 AM
10

I have no ties with my family except for a sibling, and that bond is very loose. I refuse to meet someone's family early on now because it's a manipulation tactic. They want you to feel pressured by their parents approval of you early on so that you won't dump them. They also want complete control over how the two of you spend holidays. You're easier to manipulate when their family is your surrogate family; do not fall for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:13 AM
9

Frankly, these men paying for "the girlfriend experience" would be far, far better served by paying for a therapist instead. Genuine love and affection can't really be bought. The simulation of it is a lot to expect of someone who does not have an actual emotional connection to you, and just sees you as a paycheck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 03:47 AM
6

This is what I'm afraid was almost going on with my same-aged coworker at my office job, but I (think) I nipped it in the bud. He used to flirt with me, but all he ever did was invite me over to smoke weed and watch movies...sorry, that's not good enough for me to fuck or date someone, so I would just watch it and leave until he stopped inviting me over. Then he starts dating this gorgeous woman, who is getting her masters in engineering, she has wealthy parents, just all around a good person to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 11:53 PM
20

My most recent ex was exactly like this and we hadn't even been together a year. We were in a LDR and he wanted nudes and dirty talk pretty much every other day, around the same time he had been consistently ignoring my boundaries, which obviously was not a turn on for me. Dumped him and never looked back, I feel terrible for women that marry men like that hoping they'll change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 10:26 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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