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Ptsdveterannavy Archive

View 4 posts and 470 comments by Ptsdveterannavy on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

Don’t know how old you are or how long you were married- what I can tell you is that you have a Son (your bloodline) that should be enough (although it’s tough and seems hopeless) for you to strive as an example of how a father(man) conquers the worst that is thrown at us. I’m telling you from experience, you will need counseling and perhaps do the things you enjoyed doing, before getting married. I was in your shoes with the in-laws situation yet you still have a family (your side) and trust me…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 03:25 AM
3

My take from going through this after a 16yr marriage, (I’m military as well) if after all you’ve both been through including having kids, she drops all this on you out of no where and doesn’t want to do anything to try to salvage the marriage, she has been planning an exit for years, you just want seeing the sign’s, you seem shocked and surprised from her cold actions of moving out and her filing for divorce, why wouldn’t you think there isn’t someone else? She hid her feelings from you for so …
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 01:37 PM
1

Well my brother, the ball is in your court. I'm sure there will be others here that will chime in.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 01:28 PM
1

Sure but if you want out, you're going to be with someone else eventually, meaning you're moving on and so will she. That's reality. The grass isn't that greener on the other side, this is from my experience. Try counseling if you both haven't. Otherwise, go ahead and file.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 01:24 PM
2

Just my opinion but, if the talks haven't changed anything, that's certainly your answer. What makes you think you may regret the divorce? Your not happy in your marriage but you don't want to regret it. I believe it's the fear of the unknown future.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 01:15 PM
2

That's understandable. How long is the marriage currently?
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 01:05 PM
1

It's your gut showing you the truth not a feeling. You both know your marriage is at the end, either talk about it or pull the trigger. There's no in between.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 12:50 PM
3

It's going to hurt like hell, live and grow through it. Many of us have.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 03:30 AM
4

This is where the Ex's know our hope will hurt the most and intentional. Stay strong, women like that are mental to do this.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 11:18 AM
0

As a divorced man that had dealt with this, my Ex was always about getting more money even though the Courts were in top of the income i make. I'm a disable veteran and i don't work and hence I'm on a fixed income, Ex knows that Veterans get a slight yearly increase in disability integration a year and threatened and followed through with an attorney to do a full income review with OAG(State Child Support) in Court yes my disability increased but the Judge capped my income to the level it was wh…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 12:25 PM
6

Brother, listen to me, i was there in your shoes 6yrs ago. I also lost my Mother during the course of all that darkness. 6 yrs later, I'm here, I'm better. You have to come to terms as i did, there is no easy fix, there is nothing you can do to reverse course other than what you began with God. God fixes things but in his time, you're going through your season of brokenness that will continue to test your will. Right now, you need to fix you, you need to concentrate on your well being and mental…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 03:37 AM
6

We both did after 4yrs. We're both back together 8mos currently. To each their own.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 03:55 AM
1

This is true and bad.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 06:04 PM
2

May not like to here this but i for my Ex back only after 6 years. That's how long it took me to grow and evolve.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 04:38 PM
4

Hate to say this but if you want progress and movement and enforcement, "Stop financially paying" i promise you, you'll hear more from her then. Let her take you to Court for that and keep the money in hand that you stopped sending. She violated the MSA and you had no recourse but to as well. I did it and the Judge didn't penalize me but scolded us both and added more enforceable injunctions. Just my advise.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 04:24 PM
1

I know many will never get it and rightfully so, will judge me from it, i have no answer for you that will make sense to you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 12:02 PM
1

No need to feel sorry for my past but my situation at that time created the "Nuclear" option for me. I hope you find the best solution for you. I wish you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 04:01 AM
1

I was in your shoes, all funds were diverted to her and the kids and my Attorney. I couldn't afford a place, wasn't working, wasn't going to stay with family,friends or a shelter. Just me and my Truck at that time for over 6mos. I survived, I'm here, I'm better, we're better.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 03:28 AM
0

It takes time, and trust me, my Ex did the same as what yours is doing now to you. Took everything and wanted more, my mindset was the same as yours at this very moment. I hit the "Nuclear Bazooka Button" and went dark and silent on her and the kids for at least a full year. ( Not what i wanted but, i gave her what she pushed me into) it hurt, truly as i was homeless and broke but i was free but not free(mentally). When women get hurt and have others in their ear, they no longer hear us. Food fo…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 03:20 AM
1

I can concur to this after 6yrs of hell. I manned up and told her to her face, i apologize for any and everything I've done to her and this is not a joke, after 6yrs. The results of it= we've been back together for 8 months now. Is it perfect? Heck no but it's better. Just my agreement to this statement. Ego, pride, can cost dearly.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 02:04 AM
2

To my fellow men, I went through this, and it tore a whole in my pride, my role as a provider. All I can say is that a "Wise person told me that, troops to Disney, amusement parks are nice but, when the kids get older, it's how you spent quality time with them that the kids will remember and cherish the most.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 01:01 AM
4

As a man who was in your shoes 6yrs ago on top of losing my mother, I was in a very deep, and the darkest of places along with dealing with Military PTSD. The only thing that saved me was my faith in God that my grandmother instilled in me as a young boy. I survived, although I was having panic attacks, drinking, and doing Marijuana to cope. I had to self learn how to live and grow through it all with the help of the brothers in this group. I survived, and I'm stronger, wiser, and I now have joy…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 03:24 PM
1

She no longer sees you as her strength and leader, and since that has shattered from her perspective, she's leaning back to her Mom. As a matter of fact, I'll gamble to say that her Mom has berm in her ear early on in your marriage, which had led to your marriage problems. It you are separated and living separately, get a custody schedule agreed upon, especially with the holidays because the MIL thinks holidays with the kids are for her, and that's a major problem. If you do this, know that this…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/25 12:11 PM
27

You know, it saddens me that day after day, more men come here because of where life has brought them. You, my brother, are now in the "Brokeness." I've been divorced for 4 years but was married 18. The stage you are in is a familiar one us men of this group suffers from. It really isn't your fault, you did your best yet it wasn't good enough for her. The bottom line for a wife of that many years to say those things, it's heartless, you my brother are in pain, hurt and sorrow. Listen to me, you …
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 05:57 AM
7

@SireSweet you need to go ahead and file for bankruptcy. No reason to get a second job when you're working damn near overtime if not already so. I was homeless as well and was in your situation, this will hurt your credit sure, but you're in a horrible status financially and you have to protect yourself. You can still get yourself a place to rent once you file bankruptcy. Just rent from the actual home owner not through a property management company. Also I'm not sure if the home you were in was…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 05:28 AM
3

I concur, not your child, not your responsibility. if she tries, it really puts the worse on a woman that can ever be.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 05:18 PM
9

Go silent and stay silent, restrict her to only email communication through court ordered apps like (Family Wizard) did my ex this way for 6 straight yrs. It killed her momentum and Spirit.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 02:08 PM
22

No woman will ever own up to the truth and take accountability even when it's smack there in their face. Sorry brother, never trust her again. They are truly the experts in lies.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 06:41 AM
3

You were someone before her that you let go of during that marriage. That person is there although no longer the same and being anti social means that if you must become some what social. What did you enjoy doing before marriage? What did you want to try to do during marriage but didn't? There is some type of activity that intrigued you at some point. If not look at things that may peek your interest, whatever you do, do something.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 10:23 PM
3

Let her go, and you need to let it go and get more in touch with God. This happened for you to grow. From a Retired Navy Sailor and good luck on your journey when you join "The United States Navy"
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 01:20 AM
6

They do that as a means of control, and any woman who does this to their husband, do not truly love them. I stopped watching porn and started reading the Bible when the urges came, I went to church more often and exercised a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 08:57 PM
8

After six years of me giving her no contact with 4 of those being divorced years, I came to her and she jumped back unto me like a lion with a fresh kill. Immediately, stating, "i promise to show you more appreciation", saying her sex drive wasn't that high during our marriage(withholding sex=control), only after 3mos did the mask come off. My oldest (21yr) told her she lost all respect for her... What?(Obviously I've been talked harsh about) what our oldest doesn't understand, is after all thes…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 03:15 PM
4

I'm trying with my ex after 4yrs of divorce. Took me than 3 months for true colors to show. The thing of it, told me she hasn't been with anyone sexually in the 4yrs.... What!!!!!!! Manipulation and less from the beginning, and the fact that you lied about something so simple is the only flash for me on top of the flag for even thinking of trying...
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 06:35 AM
10

4 yrs divorced here was 45 at the time. You can only "live" with those memories, and I can tell you, eventually, they will still be there as time passes but not as much. Ironically, my ex and I started back up, and i see why we divorced. Stay single, my friends...
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 03:13 AM
5

She's using your kid because she knows you're a good dad. When you leave, she will make it difficult, I'm speaking from my personal experience. I'd say get you a lawyer if you haven't yet and get that custody established. She wants you to leave the house because once you do, she can file that you abandoned them, and this helps them with custody. Get a good attorney who specializes in parental alienation, and if you haven't heard of it, read up on it NOW!!!! Search reddit for it and read those po…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 08:54 AM
10

Let me tell you, the same here "Military" she waited 3 mos after I retired to file, fast forward 6yrs later, she's in financial ruin, moved in with her Dad, I started speaking to her after 6yrs and all I hear now is" i will always show you appreciation and blah, blah, blah. It's astonishing
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 02:32 PM
4

Im there now after 7yrs. Amazingly
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 09:11 PM
6

I hate to hear that but, when wives speak those words, its been planned for a while and now they're pulling the trigger. I hope you can search others who've posted here and you more than likely will come across someone who went through the exact thing or similar. Sorry bro,
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 06:23 AM
0

That's your opinion. My statement is from experience(been through it) Thanks for commenting though.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 02:16 AM
8

Judges get paid as well as lawyers when divorce and custody aren't simple. It appears they want the parents to have drama, more drama, more money. To your point, females win at least 85%-95%.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 12:57 AM
3

That's wild
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 03:36 PM
3

It is 6yrs this years since our divorce and i finally forgave me and then her and we birth started speaking and being cordial just this month out of 6yrs. It's hard work especially getting over the bs she did as i did my part but still, i feel relief because i told her to her face all my negative(never mentioned her flaws) that contributed to the end. I'm good now i can press forward even more but with baby steps. We've both changed after 6yrs and no i don't want her. Lol, don't this for our you…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 12:41 PM
8

It's called "Grief."" Anyone with a heart would have that much leftover. I understand your pain but it's been 2yrs as you said. She's not coming back and why would you want a wife that threw you away, rather she's mentally/unmentallly stable. You got to move on, your kids are grown, we came into this world alone and will leave it the same way. Good luck, get help, professionally. Respectfully, A brother who cares.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 01:21 PM
7

she doesn't have a backup plan, so still proceed with no mercy. Get the divorce done.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 01:54 AM
0

I understand it's hard, but at least try what I mentioned. Your ex sounds privileged. Didn't sound like she works. Also, it sounds like she's been checked out of the marriage well over 5 years. Didn't just sit there. Make some lawyer calls.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 01:11 PM
3

Contact family law attorneys in your area that do free consultations and explain what you just said on your post to them. Ask them if they will do a hybrid payment retainer(monthly payment installments)
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 12:54 PM
2

Some courts do, and some don't. I want to be clear that I see we're talking about different situations. I'm speaking on behalf of children involved, and you're speaking of something entirely different. I apologize and take care.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 05:21 AM
3

Subpoenas are used after an exhausting effort for court required documents from both parties ordered by Judge.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 05:13 AM
1

I edited my msg. It was meant to say my girls(daughters) and their mom calls and msgs she thought was deleted but came out with my attorneys subpoena. Sorry bro
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 03:28 AM
3

for me, it was calls and msgs from my girls to their mom. Rather, she thought deleting msgs was a factor. No, an attorney subpoena all records even deleted ones. Almost all social media.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 03:24 AM
9

Don't do it, I did it and I regret it. That action will be used against you in court. Your attorney should be capable of getting a court order for custody and visitation. They want you to run, stay, and fight. Talk to your attorney regarding your financial situation. Most importantly, get a court order for custody and visitation that will take away her refusals of letting you have your child. Good luck and God bless...
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 03:47 AM
1

That's good, and the fact that you know that, let them see a class act from their Dad. Stop losing your shit which is by far understandable. Keep focusing on them and document any egregious things Mom does or says to them and never bring those things up to Mom. Documentation will give you what you need. Stay focused on your kids and always seek advice here, my brother. Good luck tomorrow again, and let us know how it went. Goodnight brother
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 04:21 AM
1

What's your relationship with your kids currently?
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 03:56 AM
2

You still have options if it goes against you, which is why I asked you to let us know. Just don't go into court tomorrow pissed. Judges never like that, and you will never recover from that. Stay calm no matter what. Good luck!!!
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 02:42 AM
0

It sucks because you and I mean you worked hard for what will be handed to her. I went through it just like every other man on here has been. Deal with it, but don't react to it, especially in front of the judge and your kids. Trust me, you will be fine. Can you let us know how things went for you tomorrow? We care and are here for you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 02:31 AM
12

Brother, I understand your reaction, yet you need to listen, judges don't care about cheating, and someone has already told you that whatever you're custody is right now will remain. You're pissed, angry, and mad. We get that, take a chill pill, calm down, and don't go in front of this judge tomorrow and lose your shit because if you do, you will lose shit. Let the card play how they may tomorrow, and afterward, if you still want another attorney, get one. Just chill the fuck out...
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 02:13 AM
6

It's good that you have switched. Her being an attorney shows her actions as aggressive as well as bullying and a hostile co-parent. Keep the messages and file with your attorney for all communications be through a court ordered app like our family Wizard. I promise it will get better after
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 12:24 AM
1

I'm sorry to hear that. I know your position currently is unbearable. I'm sure like me, most of us have been there. I myself became homeless not by choice
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 12:11 PM
4

You don't, get your own place
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 04:52 AM
5

Well, thanks for the clarification. Self-healing is always blissful.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 02:00 AM
4

Therapy works for some, but for the majority of men, that marriage is over
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 01:52 AM
7

It's going to get nastier before the end
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 05:31 AM
3

Also, don't get behind because then the ex can file a VA Apportionment, which means the VA looks at your income and bills, and the same is true with your ex' financially. Most times, the ex will get denied, but be careful, and there's no way out of a state adding your VA disability for income/ for child support.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 01:57 PM
3

They can't garnish it but will use it for income purposes. Back door used to make you pay. Personally I feel it shouldn't be used at all.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 01:52 PM
2

I agree
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 09:54 PM
1

Of course, but if she isn't on the lease, it's hearsay.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 08:09 PM
6

Hire a private detective to get photos and proof. Need physical evidence not hearsay.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 08:00 PM
12

Self blame is a sign of being manipulated... Evaluate your marriage, those arguments, and bumping heads. More than likely, after those issues, you more than often apologized first. I'm willing to bet. You'll be ok. Begin searching yourself and feel the loss and reclaim your dignity and pride and self-esteem.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 05:14 PM
1

You're being gaslighted because she knows she screwed up. So she had to come with a reason to stay and use her grandpa rather if it's true or not. Why is it being brought up now? Because she knows you are a good guy and is playing on that. Let her go and her problems and continue with the divorce. If the shoe was on the other foot, you'd have been kicked out. Stop letting her manipulate you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/24 12:08 AM
4

Mediation is a waste of time for hostile divorces as you've experienced. Do not do another one but have proof that it was done and go to Court. This is your only recourse. So, stop playing games and go for the jugular as she's doing with you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 09:31 PM
1

Sounds good
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 06:47 PM
4

You shouldn't ask if she's infringing upon Court ordered time. When you do go back all the Judge for language in Court order that will prevent future issues.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 02:54 AM
1

Also I know here in the US, lawyers can file a "Motion to Compel" forcing them to answer, it maybe called the same there or something else but to be honest your attorney should know how to get them to respond faster. Sounds like he's milking you for money as well. All lawyers know how to force them to answer. File a complaint with the lawyer bar that gave him his bar license.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 12:18 PM
11

You need to cut off all forms of communication with her. She asked for the divorce. She's realizing the grass isn't as green on the other side as she thought. She's fucked far more men than she's told you but those men aren't commitment men, they want an easy fuck and unfortunately it's your ex. She wants to keep you on as the backup plan. It sucks and hurts for you, and I'm sure of it. She made it this way, let her deal with it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 03:47 AM
7

I concur, the only way I communicate with her about the kids and it keeps her honest, and I've used documented statements from her at Court from it and was granted more custody. OFW, all manipulative, abusive, narcissistic women hate it, I love it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 05:18 PM
1

That I wouldn't know as I'm an older guy and really don't do anything really. Sorry
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 03:39 AM
1

Dfw, Houston, San Antonio and maybe the capital, Austin
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 03:36 AM
2

This is the way!!!
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 12:54 AM
6

I did the custody/visitation modification in Texas and as a Veteran, my income increased but it's mostly disability and because my ex receives disability for the kids because of me, the judge left my income at the level it was in 2020 during the final divorce hearing and Child Support order.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 04:58 AM
2

I agree to take the high road and also Document this incident and save the video and not only send a direct msg to your ex but, also have that conversation with your daughter. It is clear that the both of them made those plans without you and at the last minute.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 07:24 PM
2

2 and 1/2 yrs for me as well
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 08:42 PM
1

This is the way
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 10:03 PM
3

It'll take a little while for forgiveness to kick in for her, but most importantly, forgive yourself and let the kids know they will always have the both of you, but time will be spilt between the both of you. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 03:23 PM
2

You know what to do but are here seeking advice to be sure you aren't overreacting. You need to file for divorce, she don't respect you and will continue in her ways. I wouldn't have adopted her kids, especially if she was being that way before marriage, and now, with a divorce, you're responsible gunshots for the adopted kids. She's treating you like a floor mat brother. Throw away the mat and throw a lawyer to her, get back to who you were before being with her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 07:56 AM
6

Go back to your kids
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 01:50 AM
2

Ok, what you need to know, and I will suppress what I really wanted to say. When you're done with the ex, you're done with all and complete.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/24 12:27 AM
2

Once a woman pursues divorce, it it over. You need to get out, and if you don't and do go back, it will be wide for you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 11:07 AM
1

Yeah, all exes have done a number on the many of us. I've been divorced for 4 years and was married 18, and it will take some time to get her out of your system fully. Especially during holidays. I found it easiest to just sit and go through those feelings and rough patches.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 12:40 PM
6

$100 or so for a year. It documents and retains communication in case you need it for court as well. Helped me a lot. I got more custody of my son because of her Vindictivness. Toxic and petty ex's will always show their ass, just as sure as the Sun shines.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/24 03:33 PM
3

Family Wizard charged an annual membership fee at $100 or so for the year.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/24 03:30 PM
5

Family Wizard. I asked the judge to order it due to high conflicts and manipulation from her. The judge granted it, and the family wizard is court monitored. To keep it cordial. That's my only communication.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/24 03:26 PM
1

Right you are
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 04:19 AM
5

That's true, we had kids, so I stayed longer because of them but should've divorced her azz sooner. I will never marry again. Hell, the dating seen is unreal. All these over 30 women want to be wined and dined along with taking trips. None of them want to give up sex. They claim you have to earn it. Screw that we aren't in our teens and 20s....
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 04:09 AM
12

My insurance covered it, and I paid maybe a $30 co-pay. I was Active Duty Military at the time though. Anyways, welcome to the snip team....By the way, I've had a female tell me her period was late, and with great pleasure, I said, "I'm snipped. Her look was priceless...
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 02:59 AM
5

Well, when she sees that you can handle all things financially, that gives them the incentive to stay at home. I was there and got out 4 years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 02:42 AM
9

"Get Out" - doing all that you're doing and she has the audacity to give excuses for not having sex. Nope.... I'm telling you, STAH wives are the shady ones, who know they have a good husband and provider but fail to make the husband happy. She's in school because it's part of the exit plan. She's counting on a divorce so that she can get the kids, house, car, child and spousal support. The writing is on the wall my friend. Get a lawyer A.S.A.P... FIGHT for equal custody, did she already have a …
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 02:25 AM
3

Ok, understood... Vent my brother, vent... You got this... Your attorney should've filed " contemp of court" on her by now. Or maybe they are giving her enough rope to continue to hang herself... I believe that. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 12:48 AM
5

You need to grey rock her. Whatever she says or do or ask for, try responding with "Ok" that's it. You have your documentation, and that's all you need. Cut off communication via txt or calls and once in court ask the judge to order in the Decree a court ordered contact point for communications regarding the kids. It's ok to be pissed by her demands and lies, you know she's going to do it and she knows it's going to piss you off. As I said from now on just respond with "Ok" that's going to pass …
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 12:37 AM
2

That is why I endured the court delays for my youngest. I now have more time with him.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 12:03 PM
2

Oh, I'm on your side, not busting your balls. I have been and still am going through what you're dealing with. The difference between you and I is that I keep documentation like the FBI, and I retained a very knowledgeable attorney who deals with parental alienation from the one I had previously. My case had been in the court system almost 3yrs, it sucked but the more delay from her side, the more evidence I received for my case. I had to put myself first and accept the alienation and disrespect…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 08:02 AM
1

Bro, I like animal lovers but, if you're pudding yourself over her request to have the dog as well as children, you need to re-evaluate your life. Your kids come 1st unless they've been turned(parental alienation) against you. Let that stuff go, she knows how you will react just so it can be brought up in court. Get yourself a new dog, puppy. Let it and her go....
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 03:14 AM
1

I'm divorced and paying(finance)for two cars for myself. Just because I did it when we were married(by myself) and can do it without her as usual... OLTL(One, Life, to, Live)
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 02:25 AM
1

I agree that money, jobs, women, houses, and cars should never come before your child. I moved from 4 hours away to 35 mins away. Big impact for my son and I.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 03:24 AM
1

Keep your wits about you. You're doing the right thing. One thing I can tell you is to put your ex on a exclusion. No contact
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 01:53 AM
5

To God be the glory
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 05:14 AM
12

Search homes for rent by owner. They can be more understanding of your situation. If you had an attorney, ask them about getting an emergency court order to pause the sale of home until you can get a place. You have options but right now you're in stress hell, calm down and stop letting her threats freak you out.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 03:24 AM
4

We all expected two income households... Just know that you(we) during the marriage did carry the load.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 01:39 AM
2

That's what women, that don't plan to contribute but gain financially by staying at home, say.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 06:29 PM
2

In my case, it was looked on as her not having a desire to contribute financially, especially with multiple degrees.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 06:02 PM
2

You're working now so the 2yr without working won't matter. The best for you would be to get joint custody. You may be entitled to more. Get an attorney
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 02:30 PM
9

If she gets sole custody, be ready for parental alienation. (Turning the kids against you) Do she have a degree? Had she ever worked? That's important in court, it would show how much income that she's capable of making(matters for alimony and Child Support) If there are things in both of your names, change it. Be prepared for possible false allegations of domestic violence. Stay at home moms become money hungry during divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 12:41 PM
6

I was taught by my Attorney that when you select print, there should be an option to download pdf. That's what I did everything was converted to pdf.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 03:38 AM
11

Ironic they file for divorce yet retain the marital last name isn't it?
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 05:05 AM
2

You no longer have to keep thinking the kids are the reason because they are. I realized this late after the divorce because I was still blaming myself for the end of it. In retrospect, vows are said "until sickness and health, for richer or poorer until death due us apart", this is the contract that we(men) sign. No matter the issues or problems, the vows say we're in this together however unto the wife, she's in it until she can get what she feels she deserves. Let it go sir, cut communication…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 05:03 AM
4

Obviously, the answer to most of us is no to both. Let me expand, so you really want to go through hell a second time from the 1st? Knowing the second hell will be more detrimental? I'm 4 years post divorce, and I enjoy my peace and quiet. I will never, at this moment, let a woman come between that. However, it sounds like you're ready to plausibly take a plunge. Take a life raft with you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 01:58 AM
7

Mediation isn't a joke. It's a pay day for both attorneys who know that if both parties have tension between each other, then mediation isn't beneficial to them but the attorneys. They will not tell you this, why will they help you save money, especially in this economy. It's a formality.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 03:38 AM
1

That sounds outstanding, but I hate the post about Mommy support payments.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 04:06 AM
3

You sir are correct.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 09:52 PM
2

Why bother with the worry that she's gotten married. Move on from that.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 09:30 PM
3

Repercussions are not always negative as they're always like a two-sided coin. Always pick the side that benefits you and let go of the guilt of choosing you and peace. ✌🏾
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 03:58 AM
5

Get an attorney, and don't move until you get a court order. Also, while still in the home, sleep separate, get cameras, and record audio. Be prepared for false domestic violence charges and things of that nature..
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 03:51 AM
5

Deal with those feelings and emotions solo. It will get better and more non-existent as you embrace your freedom. That's the issue. You've been freed, and freedom is not what you had while married. Think about it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 03:27 AM
2

Look, by you saying "yea I read that right" I get it but you still survived and no court is not reliable for the best interest of the children. Be encouraged and feel proud of the fact that you still did the impossible. I brought this topic up to see how many divorced and tired dads/ex husbands would consider buying land and build and enjoy a community based on recovery of our trauma and continued support of father and brotherhood. I know it sounds fictitious ...
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 02:14 AM
2

I'm in Texas. Is there anyone else here in Texas?
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 01:30 AM
3

My youngest is 8. I believe I have a shot. It's cheaper than buying a damn home these days. Can you? Yes, we all can. Yes, we all can, had to repeat that part.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 01:08 AM
1

I'm sorry for your misfortunes and understand your reason for doing that. I only want to travel as I still provide for my kids. We can't lose sight of that if possible.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 12:40 AM
13

She showed her hands early... Trifling is what it is... Let her find out through the court system, there is no need for further conversations.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 04:50 AM
1

Understood...
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 01:10 AM
1

That's understandable. We didn't have txt when we(older men) were dating back then. This may not work for you or others on here, but I react based on their reaction. She txt back fast, so do I, she txt back slow, so do i(even if it's been more than a day. By then, I'm no longer interested. Most adults always have their phone in hand, that Sir, it's called playing games...
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 12:40 AM
2

I concur.... "This is the way"
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 12:24 AM
3

I'd say simmer down tiger... When you feel the reciprocity back on top of a woman you desire, that's where you need to paddle back a bit. Don't run her off being too giddy, but don't run her away by not showing interest. Otherwords, let nature take its course. It's natural when it's not feeling forced.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 12:23 AM
6

I'm not interested in relationships but very interested in introducing my "Rod"
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 09:58 PM
2

It's not right, and my ex divorced me 3 months after I retired. Dirty and shameful.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 05:50 PM
2

Opportunist. All of the former spouses. I find it hard to believe that Congress will do anything about it. Hell, that can't even agree on funding the government!!
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 05:35 PM
3

It's amazing to see that this petition has been ongoing since 2018 for only 500 signatures and has 289. Either retirees aren't aware of it or just don't care.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 05:27 PM
5

Same boat here... Treat spouse's like they served and deployed. Fuck rationale.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 05:08 PM
4

Man, what you're experiencing is normal. You're having withdrawal from the longevity of being with her. Very understandable. That will pass. Don't run from your feelings of that or shut them down. Instead, deal with those feelings, let them flow through you, although you will very much feel compelled to reach out and go back to her. Don't!!!! Also, don't get into another relationship, it's the worst mistake. Learn who you are now, and understand both you and her created the causes of the failed …
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 08:24 PM
1

Well, I've learned to control my penis(the disaster). All women now say they are looking for a good man(sucker/simp) who truly wants a life partner and will do things to show. Yet, what these women truly want is a man to lock down and will cater to them, and they can live off of them when they are caught. While they are all ready cheating and know that their simp is there for them after getting their rocks off. I now use women as sponges, and once it's too wet, I don't ring it out, I throw it ou…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 12:51 AM
1

Bro, at this point. Just sow your oats....
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 10:26 PM
2

For me, street my 1st marriage that failed regardless of who's fault, men crave the companionship as women crave it more. The stats show that 2nd marriages fail quicker and higher than the 1st. I think after a 1st marriage, men should only date and not get in a position of being implied a common law. Get a vasectomy and show your oats...
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 04:31 AM
3

I can't believe what I just read... Stay married, my friend, and keep the alimony game going.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 04:26 AM
3

I concur, be ready to spend more, and your attorney should've sent a discovery request to her attorney. I'm sure they did send it, yet she failed to disclose that account and money, which is purgery. Have your attorney subpoena the bank record for that account so you have proof that it exists and she failed to produce upon a court order. Also, with her hands in your pockets financially, it sounds like she doesn’t work. All the money she is getting from you and you don't want to go to court? Plus…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 05:17 AM
7

This is the way...
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 01:33 AM
4

If you have a lawyer, they should be the ones submitting discovery documents as well as yours should request same said discovery. If you're communicating with your ex or her attorney, you need to stop.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 02:16 AM
3

Sir, get your eyes dried. You, my friend, are now free and clear to be the man you've wanted to be. Either fight for equal parental rights or let her do it alone. Also, ensure you have a shark attorney, you can bet she will have one.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 12:23 AM
1

Our Family Wizard works wonders for this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 08:13 PM
5

Get cameras, especially in the area where she pinces yall son at and to have physical proof of her DV against your son and have a recorder and please get a lawyer like yesterday and I concur with grey rocking.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 10:19 AM
2

Take her up on it. Take it to court. The court knows things come up. They also will know who you're dealing with and the toxicity and unwillingness to properly co-parent. That's how I stopped my ex with all of the "my way or the highway...
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 06:19 PM
1

Well, when I went to court to modify the parent child relationship, the judge was going to give exclusive after-school time to prevent our son from going to after-school care. I just didn't live within the city. I'm going to move, hopefully, by the upcoming school year. More than likely, she despises you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 05:51 PM
1

I disagree with being emotionless regarding that change. A mile further? So spend extra money on daycare vs. driving an additional mile. That's the epitome of pettiness. I'd fight it and get it court ordered. I believe it already is in your court paperwork. Called "First right off refusal"
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 05:14 PM
1

I understand, and yes, it's easy to tell someone to do x,y,z. The mental capacity and the divorce/ breakup and family dynamics are no easy feat. Do you have a court order for custody? I'm asking because if you do, i don't inveterate how she can take away your after-school time unless she's giving it to you. If she's giving it to you, you have every right to get it court ordered because you have proof that she's giving you that after school time. Yet, I don't know your situation either. Most of u…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 04:47 PM
1

This conversation is not coherent. Where's the beginning, middle and rest?
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 01:17 AM
1

It was my life as well, and the same behavior that the poster had posted described my ex as well. I'm calling it what it is , as well as giving advice to how I dealt with it. No one can change anyone's behavior no matter how hard you try. It is narcissistic behavior if it isn't just calling it damaging behavior, keeps one in denial, and consistently allows that behavior to continue while trying to change our hope that behavior changes.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 06:22 PM
2

I'm not commenting to sugar coat you. You did the right thing by leaving the house. Why would you stay in the house when your wife is flagrantly bringing a man she's sleeping with in your house? She had no respect for you, herself, and you all kids. I've been the homeless route. As a matter of fact, I slept in my truck for 6 months. It took that long for me to process what I was going through. You, my friend, you need to get an attorney like A S.A.P. and file, and the first thing you need is for…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 04:57 PM
2

Sounds great. You know what's next for your right? Pull the divorce trigger and start your better life. Life is too short to be in your situation. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 06:20 PM
6

She's isolated you from who matters to you. Why are you paying all the bills when she's working as well. You, my friend, are a door mat. You're allowing her and her family to walk, shit and spit on you. Doesn't sound like a marriage. It sounds like you're in prison, and she's your warden. I'd say it's time to break out of prison and start enjoying your life. You don't need to get into a relationship until you deal with all the crap you went through with her. Run "Forrest" Run
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:23 PM
1

Agreed..
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 01:47 PM
2

I co-sponsor this. Well said...
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 01:43 PM
5

Man, listen, your wife is a piece of work. I'd say a career narcissist. She's a professional mental abuser and automatic victim when confronted with the truth. Honestly, you being the man you've always been with her even before marriage says it all. She accepted it, but soon after the vows have been said, she now comes out and again(victim) it's your fault. You did all you can do as a husband, you asked the right questions(she refused to answer), you changed yourself for a version of what you th…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 08:51 AM
2

Terrorexts
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 12:32 PM
1

Neither did I, but it exists, and some attorneys will do that. If they own their own law firm. I wish you well and pray that you find one and get you and your kids some peace. Feel free to msg me if you have questions regarding it if you find one. My suggestion would be to Google your area for that exact term " Family Law Attorneys that take payment plans" It narrowed my search tremendously and I found one. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 10:20 PM
2

I was in your situation financially couldn't afford an attorney with all the retainer fees and other cost. I decided to call attorneys in my area to see if they took payment plans as I explained my situation. Found an excellent female lawyer that took my case and put me on a "Hyprid Payment"(Payment Plan) and the best part is that as soon as I made the 1st payment, they immediately started with my case. Hope that helps, and btw, I'm in Texas.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 10:09 PM
3

This is the way!
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 09:55 PM
2

Good shit
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 02:14 AM
1

Is this a men's divorce group or co-Ed group. Women shouldn't be in this group responding to divorce men's group questions or advice.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 08:19 PM
2

I was married 16 years and walked away. I'm no carpet that she can continue to step on and wipe her feet on. She's gray rocked and a memory. A memory I wished I never had. You're in shock and denial. She filed as well as my ex did. They've been planning divorce. Now, we plan to erase them and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 01:34 AM
1

Not at all. Everything you listed except #6 is me, and I'm sure a lot of more men in this group can say the same. Honestly, my EX was a psychology major, so over the course of our 16 years, she played mind games and definitely was narcissistic. I'm sure I showed narcissistic tendencies as well. To me, narcissism goes both ways.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 12:40 AM
2

Fuck her and fight fight fight. She's doing everything you believe her to be doing. She's turned your kids against you but not all the way. As you're getting another Attorney to go after your children, make sure you have enough evidence going far.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 03:20 AM
0

You all see this!! Look at this response with a female pic emogi. Yeah, I'm done here. Good luck, guys
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 06:18 AM
1

You have to get out of the shock. Start looking for attorneys and Google them and read reviews, narrow down the list, and call. You can't just sit in the moment and get screwed. Move it, get active, start fighting, get mad, get over it. Move it, move it....
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 02:49 AM
4

If this group was meant for women to be in it, change the group name from divorced men to divorced groups. I mean, why ask if we're ok with it? Hell no, I'm not ok with it. This isn't the 1st time that there have been women in this group commenting. Those of you who don't mind are more than likely the ones that will get married again and go through the bs again. I'm considering leaving this group. I mean, come on, damn.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 02:41 AM
1

I was going to comment until I saw a post on here from a female. How is a female in this men's group? How and why?
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 08:49 PM
3

Congrats....
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 12:40 AM
1

Of course. You're welcome, and I hope you have/get a good attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 02:44 PM
1

Well, the Financials for divorce will depend on your state. I'm in Texas, and when we filed for divorce, my EX at the time was a STAHM as well, but luckily, Texas recognized that STAHM has to provide financially, too. They calculate what they could earn or if they have a college degree( which she had two), they calculate what income she could be making, and based on those calculations, child support is established. I also have to provide medical and dental insurance for them. No alimony, most ju…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 02:33 PM
3

I concur with this. I asked the court to apply another form of communication because my EX was the same, and my attorney explained the need for it as a hostile co-parenting environment . It was granted for all communication through "Our Family Wizard." This app, you have to pay a $100 a year subscription because it's monitored for those issues you're dealing with now. She's harassing you during your parenting time to get you out of character. You don't have to answer her questions unless there i…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 02:20 PM
4

Since you have no kids with her, and she took her son and herself on vacations without you on your dime, most likely, I'd say cut off communication all the way. Let your lawyer do your communication for you. This will crush her as she will not understand why you don't want to talk to her. Throw a grenade in that marriage and run and let the pieces fall where they fall.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 08:26 PM
2

Cut her off on all forms of communication except by email and cut off the ones that believe her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 05:47 AM
3

The VA is useless. I went to them and they told me I made too much money when in fact I was still paying all the bills. I preferred my vehicle, and by sleeping in my vehicle, I changed. I never slept in a shelter. Believe me, it appears that they're winning now but, in the end, you will have won it all. "Peace and freedom"
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 09:12 PM
3

Be glad you're out. I was homeless as well, but I had God and my truck. Cut her and her family off if you haven't already.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 09:03 PM
8

Hate to be the bearer of unfortunate news. She's done, just dragging it out and manipulating and isolating you. My ex started off that same way and noticed I said, "EX. "....
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 04:55 AM
3

Grey rock, I concur.... They want that communication with you because they know they're screwing you financially as they live comfortably off our income. Grey rocking affects them so badly....
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 05:22 PM
3

I didn't read all of your posts(no disrespect). No matter the age or longevity of marriage, it all ends the same.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 01:18 AM
1

I was ordered to maintain insurance for her until the final trial. Texas
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 04:32 PM
2

Yes, grey rocking. Thanks for correcting me.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 02:12 PM
3

Otherwords if it doesn't involve the child, ignore all other communication!
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 02:11 PM
2

Have you ever heard of Bedrocking?
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 01:55 PM
8

Yes, it's hurtful and the biggest betrayal, too wrap your mind around it. The fact that she's emailing you demands from the divorce as if you're a commoner is worse than the way she left. Yes, she's been planning this, the fact she manipulated you into feeding her!!!!. I'd say use that same energy that she shows and don't stop. Get an attorney and cut off communication with her on everything. Throw the grenade and let it blow up, and the pieces fall where they fall. Shows no weakness, mercy, or …
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 08:01 PM
3

Understood, my apologies.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 01:56 PM
7

Pursue with your lawyer and go nuclear. Your lawyer already told you that you will win. The fact that you haven't and are here seeking advice, to me, that means you're kind-hearted and she knows that. Screw that and throw the grenade and get down and let the pieces fall where they fall. Enough of this being Mr. Nice guy. This woman is and, if successful, will ruin you financially and spiritually. Throw the grenade....
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 05:02 AM
5

It's all manipulation, brothers. They've been married to us men for the long term and have been observing how we react to the buttons they push. As a matter of fact, I'm willing to bet my entire pay check that 99% of the women you all are dealing with didn't work, and you took care of everything. These are facts. Get the divorce done, shut her(all ties to her) off like she didn't pay the water bill. Get yourself together and review the red flags during your marriage. You know the arguments that …
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 10:35 PM
2

Yes Sir!!!
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 06:07 PM
17

She's throwing guilt towards you and not taking responsibility for her actions. Remember, as long as the marriage was, these women have been very emotionally observing of how we react to their shenanigans. I'd say, cut her off because she's manipulating you even now. Yet, you want to remain friends. Friends for what. So she can run to you when her preferred man treats her the way she treated you? Let her go.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 01:53 AM
3

I've been there done that. We, even after the 1st separation, reconciled, but less than a year later, 3 months after I retired from the military, she filed for divorce. I'd say for you to go nuclear and break the button so you can't turn it off. She wants a divorce and is playing the long game and as long as you keep playing it, you'll remain in limbo until it's too late and then you'll be very upset with yourself with the "Could've-Would've" mindset.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 10:11 PM
1

Well true as the drawback is, the only property we had was vehicles and that was easy, I get one and she got the other. You're right about the Cap on child support. Although she hasn't worked for the majority of our 16-year marriage, a flaw in her own fault, the judge told her to get a job, and he wasn't going to bleed me dry. I loved that.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 05:02 PM
6

The system is systematically set up for women. This has been going on since the 50s... However, here in Texas, I was able to avoid paying alimony because she was educated. She had a bachelor and master degree and worked maybe 2 out of the 16 yrs married. It was my fault that I didn't make her work. Honestly, why should husbands make a wife work? She got into the entitlement phase. One thing for certain, out of the 16 years married, is that she now has to work until she's eligible for either reti…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 05:04 AM
5

49 yr old her and divorced time at 3yrs +. I was where you are now at the 1st yr. It's not you. Men who care would not seek advice from others. Congratulations on being a good man. It hurts and will continue to hurt until you stop self blaming. It takes two for a marriage to work, and from what you've written, the writing was on the wall 10 years ago. Let it go, find peace with it as long as it takes, and don't get back into another relationship until you find your weaknesses and strengths. By a…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 04:56 AM
1

I live in Texas as well and have been in your situation for the past 3 years. Bottom line, I've filed single for those 3 years.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 07:14 AM
7

Retired military here and have been divorced 3 years and been through most of what you're asking. 1st, weekend Dad schedule sucks and if that is the 1st schedule after divorcing the judge orders, that judge doesn't care about the kids. Secondly, you're no longer deployable due to almost being retired or whatever made you make that choice that, most men would be relieved and move on but, you're wanting more custody and time with your kids. I say, hand salute and go after it, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 04:27 AM
3

I concur with not having kids with that woman. She would've made your life hell. I'm in hell, but I strive and dwell. I also understand your roller coaster of emotions. I'm sure most of us have and the ones coming here after you. One thing I learned for sure was to search my marriage and find my weaknesses. One of those was sex. Women geeky believe they can control a man with sex once I have sex as a strength ( I don't need it to live). No woman will ever use that on me ever again. I also focuse…
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/24 02:08 PM
2

They only keep the last name because they're divorced and don't the kids and her to identify with that. Screw her
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 04:53 AM
7

Your daughter is brainwashed. It sounds as if her Mom took control of her phone and wrote that msg. I know the msg from her stung, but you need to address her to the fact that she has no say, so with her siblings in no way, in its fashion. You need to check her. Even if that means cutting her off because she's in cohorts with her Mom, which is to destroy relationships with your other kids. Check her as if you're playing chess. If not, you let it happen.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 01:24 AM
7

Let her die on bunker hill
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 01:13 AM
4

I drink, and she brought it up in Court to Judge. Because I have no alcohol related incidents, Judge never blinked. "Hearsay, don't sweat that.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 08:24 PM
4

Yes, of course, some people can't just let go, this is the reason they keep getting screwed. Being the nice guy, nice guys finish last. Women marry a kind and decent nice man. They know them inside out, and they know all the buttons to press to get whatever reaction they seek from him. They even know how much bs they can do and the fact they can come back because of his forgiven nature. Men must get into that mindset and never let that type of shit ever happen again.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 01:47 PM
20

You need a "don't give a fuck attitude adjustment. Stop giving a damn about how and why she left and give a damn about the relief she's given you. Sure, it hurts, but more importantly, she has given you freedom that you're now taking for granted. Sure, as shit smells, the person she got pregnant with will dump her like a campfire, and she will come back running to you. Slam the door on her, sorry ass and don't be soft. Be a strong dominant man,
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 07:10 AM
2

There are Attorney's that specializes in military divorce. There are also those that will let you retain them on a hybrid payment(monthly payment plan). I suggest you do this and stop paying for everything. You should get justified for her cleaning out your bank account. Cut off all forms of communication. You don't have children with her. Find out from base legal how you can get her removed from housing. She has entitlement written all over her.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 05:30 AM
6

If you feel guilty by doing something by yourself you enjoy, then you know you were in a controlled relationship. That's all you've known is her, and you must be prepared for the aftermath.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 12:55 AM
5

It's sad to say, but that's the process. Live and let live. It's been almost 3 years for me, and I'm still affected by the trauma. That's what it's called "Trauma." Men go through trauma as well but will not admit it, and that is why we suffer during divorce and separation from our kids. Claim your trauma, claim your grief, claim your pain, and afterward, you will be able to sleep and live. None of us have the correct path to deal with it, and we can't follow each other's path of healing. We hav…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 06:53 AM
3

You just have to let those dreams, thoughts, and emotions run their course. No amount of counseling, alcohol, or drugs will void them. Only strength and faith. I ran the course.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 06:21 AM
5

Concur with Vasectomy.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 07:57 AM
4

Get an attorney that will happily go for the jugular. You need to strike fast and hard first. Keep in mind she's not your wife anymore. Being married over 10yrs, they know your imposes and know what to say to distract us from going forward when they have no proof. That being said, they will ultimately do something to make you react outside of normalcy. Be strong and due diligent. File now
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 06:51 AM
-3

Less than a year for me. The courting has changed, as should we. Women now are looking for free meals and bills paid as they have you waiting long term for sex. We must get our drives together to counter that. Know how to talk to them without giving away financially.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 05:12 AM
1

For Contemp of Court and interference of Custody. We all know Parental Alienation is hard to prove but how about trying to help him instead of trying to confront my advice.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 03:25 PM
-1

Get a lawyer. There is no need to second guess to protect your parental rights now.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 05:46 AM
10

Addiction is real and it seems like you had someone to keep you addicted. Congrats on your sobriety. Do me a favor, stop blaming yourself, the old saying is it takes two to make a relationship work. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 03:29 AM
1

It matters for you because she will ask for child support and my ex did the same thing. Texas Courts count what she would make based on her degree and her previous job. She had no choice now but to get one because the City is not going to make you broke when she's capable to work. Your attorney should know this as well. She's counting on being a SAHM to make you pay, she has a reckoning that's going to blow up in her face. Stay strong and don't let her push your buttons to call the police to fil…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 03:26 PM
1

If it happens, you will have some custody. Did she ever work or have a degree?
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 03:19 PM
3

I'm in Texas, don't move out unless Court Ordered, they use the moving out as a means of abandonment and you'd be on the hook for paying all the bills plus child support. Has your wife ever worked, did she have a degree? If you are offered to move out, you'd get some custody and yes they'd go from her place to your place. Hope this helps, but you will get some more advice from others very soon. Remember, hold the line(hang in there).
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 02:10 PM
1

You can do it for however you need to do it for. If your house is empty, move into it, if not move into an extended care or save that money to get your own place. I was homeless for 6 months and slept in my truck. Whatever you do, don't give up and don't beat yourself up about your current situation.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 09:43 PM
4

Let her talk shyt about you to whomever, if they believe it, they weren't solid for you anyway. Why are you still talking to her? Cut it off as fast as they'd cut your electric off for non payment
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 09:19 PM
0

Fight those two years
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 09:26 PM
3

Thought about it but went ahead with vasectomy. The purest decision I've ever made.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 05:01 AM
2

That's a black eye for you... listen, move on man. Don't dwell on how quick or late it takes your ex to move on. Screw that, move on yourself don't dwell on how quick she moves on, move on yourself
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 09:45 PM
2

When you chosen to marry but the wolf was shown afterwards, it isn't your fault, you've chosen to lye with the enemy. You'll be ok, longevity with a manipulator will cause you to question and challenge yourself. Seek counseling and therapy and get yourself together and leave the trash behind and start freshly over
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/23 05:02 AM
2

All money isn't good money. Money over spending quality time with your kids? To each their own.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 05:05 AM
-4

Kill him or live with it
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 01:02 AM
5

Everything you just wrote about, write it in a letter and make a copy and send it signature confirmation as well as asking them to schedule an appt with you within 7 days of the day the letter was signed. That will let your attorney know you've spoken to the State Bar. They should respond, and from that point forward, there shouldn't be any more communication issues. If they don't respond with 7 days of signature, send your copy to the state bar. No one that you are paying services for, are that…
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 01:59 AM
3

You're my hero
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 09:27 PM
1

Is called a change in circumstances, if you get the promotion, then file for a change of circumstances. A confident lawyer will know what to do and file. Don't be like these people that say they filed themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 07:56 AM
7

Now go into don't give a damn mode. Cut her all the way loose. If not she will ruin your feelings, your in the feelings stage, cut it off like a plague. She's the plague
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 03:25 AM
1

The way you described your current life and what you feel you want to do to yourself!!!! You need to kill off your feelings for her and consider your ex as the one who is dead to you (Mentally) discover the old and new you. Your best days are ahead of you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 09:04 PM
2

I had to do it. Discoveries they can omit(not include) certain things but a "Motion to Compel" for those specific things you listed, will put her on the Courts record. I would even ask your attorney to subpoena for those records as well. If she lies, she has committed perjury, plus you'll have the subpoenaed records of those lies.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 07:28 PM
3

Three words "Motion to Compel"
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 06:53 PM
1

How long have you been married? I was married for 16yrs, being with a person that long will have the detachment void. Meaning you're going to miss them and your mind is going to tell you that you miss them, go back, try to make it work. Tell your mind to shut the fuck up.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 09:41 PM
1

Yeah after 2 yrs post divorce, my Modification court appt went from 9am until 330pm. Well worth it
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 12:18 AM
1

I'm sorry what I mean by custody is "so you have overnight visitation, like standard custody. Get your kids every 1st 3rd and if there is a 5th weekend?
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 07:40 PM
5

She can be the registered parent but you're also the other parent. Do you have any custody of your kid/kids? If so the School can't make that decision and it sounds like your kids Mother had that in place. If you have your Attorney available from your divorce, contact them about it and I'm sure they have a remedy. My kids Mom is the registered parent but I'm active and I even go have lunch with my Son once a week.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 03:41 PM
11

Then you need to be proactive and contact your kids teachers and ask that they include you in emails regarding school activities and functions. Also contact the school office and have them add you as a parent and just start that way. Don't let her erase you out of their academic lives.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 02:01 PM
1

Grenade
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 01:37 AM
2

Your ex knows you and knows you have a good heart and will pay to take care of your family. Females like these are heartless, greedy and selfess
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 12:19 PM
1

Yes that is seriously bull. I live 32 miles away from mine. I'm in Texas though,
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 05:31 AM
1

I get where you're at but wanting to be that close to your ex but yes being within 10-15 mile radius of the kids is a change in circumstances. I do know this, for me moving closer to the Judge it means that you want to be active in your kids lives on a daily basis. That's huge to a Judge and I do want to be in my kids lives as daily as possible. It's more expensive where mine are too but, my time, more time with my kids than every other weekend will be priceless.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 04:48 AM
3

I did it for two yrs, it's hard and tough. I found things to do, exercise, bike, gaming, testing myself to a someone's weekend get away, because then the alienation she started. That's when it's really got bad, I pray she doesn't do that. I found a better competent Attorney and fight back hard because during all that alienation and ecru else she thought she was getting away with, I had 2yrs of documentation and went to Court and went from every other weekend to the Court adding Thursafter School…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 03:50 AM
5

Thanks for the inspiration. Long term marriages that end, the one that was in it for the right reason will always have difficulty accepting it, asking what did I do wrong, plead, beg, cry. Don't be ashamed too be in the Divorce club, be uplifted that you're in the freedom club. Best of luck to all of us and those going through it now and those that will come after. Sincerely, Good Men
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 12:25 AM
1

Separated, only your income and your marital home for previous address.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 04:52 AM
3

why didn't you get me a push present Same BS, my ex told me, of course I didn't know at the time she'd be filing 3mos after I retired.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 10:14 AM
1

Texas
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/23 06:09 AM
0

Not interested
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/23 06:06 AM
7

Yall are still triggered, if you're divorced it doesn't matter what she is doing . What matters is if you have kids together, to focus on them instead of the past. Get her out of your head.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 01:51 AM
1

Understood. After seeing all of us share similar episodes dealing with the ex, it would be good to have video meetings. As far as your ring, I'm telling you what I did.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 03:31 AM
2

Sell? Throw that shit in a river my man...
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 03:20 AM
12

No disrespect, if you both make the same money, there's a problem. She's stacking money. Find yourself an Attorney a good one that specializes in Father's rights as well or you on a payment plan with said Attorney. I've done it and succeeded. Yet I'm in Texas.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 03:23 AM
1

Jesus!!! Married less than two years and she gets alimony? Thank you for this post and sorry for your situation but I'll decline to ever get married again. How is she entitled to what the judge ordered and being married only 19mos..... Screw marriage
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 07:52 PM
3

You need an Attorney by any means necessary and the fact she went through that group, she's filed or will be filing domestic violence and all the lies those Attorneys will use towards you rather true or false
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 02:14 AM
1

Us dad's in the dfw would I think like the trip to Austin. As well as you all making a trip to the Dfw
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 05:09 AM
2

Be careful, Lawyers are slick
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 03:46 AM
2

I'm in Texas as well and I too went through this phase and still do but I'm better at it now. Having things to do when the kids are with Mom is important. I think us guys in the same states and area should get together once or twice a week when kids are with Mom because we have more in common and more than likely would get along. The invite for my Texas Dads is out there. I'm in the DFW area. Let me know
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 03:44 AM
1

I got divorced during a bankruptcy the advice at the time was not to disturb it. As it was found to be more promatic than letting it run its course. I would deal with your current financial situation until the divorce is finalized and then file.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 01:55 AM
3

All of us are going through or been through it. What's do you need from us?
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 07:51 PM
3

I'm baffled your having a conversation as she's currently seeing someone as you're still married and with kids. I see why some men scratch their heads. Yall shouldn't still be in cohabitation. But do you
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 05:24 AM
2

Sorry brother, start from scratch, we don't know your financial situation, obviously there has to be one but I hope there's someone here that can help. I know what it feels like when you're already down.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 05:20 AM
6

You pay for what the Court has already ordered you to pay period. Nothing more nothing less, being confrontational is one thing but standing firm is another thing. Stands your ground ignore this non sense.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 08:01 AM
1

SCREW dat, non of us (you) deserve that treatment regardless of the situations
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 01:28 AM
1

I read your post and it reads as if you're a woman
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 03:36 AM
1

Welcome to this group. What I'm saying ( if you care to research this group) is that this is normal from them. Many men have here, have been there done that. That's what I'm saying. Do your research on here, no disrespect to you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 03:34 AM
2

I'm confused are you a female in a men's divorce forum and asking for advice?
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 03:25 AM
1

Listen to what's being said, don't leave the house she knows she's seeing which is why she's saying that. Don't fall for it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 02:37 AM
6

All I can say is "Man What"?
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 02:24 AM
2

Man date and do what you do undercover if you feel you can't control the sex desires. If you can don't worry about hiding and if you can't, be incognito
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 12:47 AM
2

I concur
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 04:34 AM
5

You've received allot of feedback, it's up to you to take what advice has been given as you feel is for your situation. Manly, stop treating her as your wife, she's no longer that person. You Sir are now a single father.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 02:33 AM
1

You have to be straight up honest and legitimate. If you only want to talk about the kids period, that's what you should say and be straight forward. She still cares for you and want you to be the back up plan to come back to. How does that make you feel?
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 01:43 AM
2

Good report brother, keep it up, we need success stories like this to keep moving. As we all know, there are new and current members going through the worst. The only thing I say is why would this forum let a female in it and especially a divorced spouse female. This is wrong on all levels but nevertheless, congrats to your success.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 01:40 AM
1

2 much math for me. Let the money ruin her because it's going to run out regardless of the circumstances. I promise you, she's going to feel it when the money runs out just as you are feeling it. Time and patience my brother....
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 04:26 AM
2

Why the hell can't you go bang some other broad. I'm not worried about who she banging you should be worried about finding those to bang. That is my entire energy. Not worrying about that broad when there's other broads to bang.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 04:21 AM
5

Gtfot, fuck you still here for
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 04:17 AM
8

She's in the wrong forum
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 01:27 AM
5

BS
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 01:12 AM
1

Tell that man to get a lawyer ASAP and don't move out and follow what his Attorney advised him. She had Degrees but isn't working, sounds like she will try the I can't or haven't worked option to get alimony but Texas doesn't play that. Get a lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 04:38 AM
1

Just wow
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 03:52 PM
1

My man, I filed single every year since. It sucks, she can have it, I'm at peace and don't need it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 01:50 AM
4

Lol, yall are out of pocket. Thanks for the honesty.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 01:07 AM
2

Keep your head and wits about you. There is no longer a version of the old you yet, there is the new you. Stay focused my UK/USA brother.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 03:00 AM
10

Remember, you were the man and still are the man!!
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 02:07 AM
2

I'm in Texas as well
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 07:47 PM
11

You need true healing. I mean why would you survive divorce regardless of the outcome and your mind set is to leave this world? No sir, no matter the outcome, remember, you still matter.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 04:00 AM
1

Be careful with that. I'm in Texas, and I'm just saying to do your due diligence and research. It sounds like an ad to draw in men that's going through it, but you never know.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 01:51 AM
1

Most of us don't think of that but it's an option and it get more results than to just let them keep ignoring you and posting with your life and money. That route to the state bar means business has escalated. Let me know how it goes. By the way, what state for your divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 01:35 AM
11

File a complaint with the state bar, everything you wrote about on here regarding your situation and your Attorney, relay that same information to the state bar. I did and it did wonders. I'm saying do this before shelling out money to another Attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 01:14 AM
2

I concur, alimony is not favored here in Texas. Get a good lawyer brother and go to break even. She's going to play the u don't work card but here in Texas, both parents must work and support the children, Judge will use the spouse that doesn't work potentially income, lol. I love Texas
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 04:20 AM
2

Deleted txt can also be subpoenaed
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 06:24 AM
3

After living in my Truck for 6mos and being homeless from 2018 to 2020 I know the feeling. Been in my own house since 2020, bonus was we still had storage that she'd been paying for since 2018, once I found my place and told her to get the storage out of my name and into hers she stopped paying it. (She thought we would get back together) but glad I did pay and clean it out, my all wood king bedroom set was in there along with dining table and another queen bed. That was the bonus. Filing my hou…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 01:28 AM
2

Motion to Compel, Contemp of Court or better yet, Subpoena those documents. My EX played that game and come court day, her and her Attorney presented 4 pages as we had more financial records for her that had to be subpoenaed. Judge wasn't happy to see those games being played.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 06:54 PM
4

Questions for your Attorney, hope you have good one.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 12:19 AM
2

It truly hurts to see new men on a daily basis who have been married long term to be faced with this reality, but i think it's a Devine process to accept and adapt. Most of us stay in the shock and awe phase of divorce when we should maneuver to a place of peace.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 06:47 PM
2

Thank you. Clearly, you've been put through the ringer, but yet you persevered. Good on you to fight not only for yourself but your kids as well.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 06:34 PM
2

Bro, quit being incognito, say what it is! Meaning state what your custody is along with child support. Men are on life support on this thread and need bona-fide input and I mean no disrespect.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 03:36 AM
2

Bro, I mean no disrespect but with sincerity. Fuck that, she knew what she was doing but then again you shouldn't let her have that power. Yes, Father's Day is important, but I wouldn't rely on her to remind your kids of this day and also keep your mindset ready for the pettiness. That is all....
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 09:07 PM
2

Concur with Test It!!!
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 03:11 AM
5

Denzel Washington training day " What a mfuking day"
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 01:56 AM
9

Bro, half of that borrowed 10k, she's not paying you, nada. I'm certain your brother didn't want want to hurt your feelings, and I'm glad I'm not your brother. You never borrow money from anyone except to get yourself together. No disrespect intended...
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 01:05 AM
1

I got rid of it like the gold miners in the old days. Quick sale!!!
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 12:26 AM
12

She's watching your reaction to determine if she should proceed. Do yourself a favor and file 1st.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 06:20 AM
3

Good for you. Not maybe, do it and mean it. Sounds like you were a door mat to walk on, replaced that door mat with spikes.... Try getting a new job, I wouldn't want to continue working at the same place with my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 03:52 AM
1

She may have used weed prior to you coming into her life. She stopped Bergdorf she knew you wouldn't approve, but perhaps she's found sidings who do weed and feel she can be free and do whatever she wants. Not even the idea of bringing it to you that she wants to do it and just say screw it and do it. Those are signs of influence. Cut your losses she did you a favor.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 03:48 AM
4

I can understand that. None of us should be judgemental with any man on here. We all have suffered more or less ways than the other. No disrespect meant to those who are going through what I'm going to correlate. I feel like an enema bag. 3 years later, and I'm still feeling her shyt.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 12:57 AM
5

Let's be honest. The root of the issues of this topic is the Ex. They have sinked their claws in us no matter if the marriage was less than a year or up to 30. These women knew what we didn't, that they weren't going to honor the "Until death do us part" We all remember the things we did that we enjoyed prior to marriage and looking at what your left with after they file, we see the blindness we've been living. Our confidence, value, and sheer will have been depleted, yet It's still there, and w…
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 12:28 AM
9

Be concerned as well as grateful
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 09:11 PM
10

The Family Court system is rooted in that the fit parent is always the Mother. Fathers are the paycheck, and in turn, Courts and Attoney Generals for Child Support get a portion of such pay. Until family courts become equal, the father will 95% be denied his fatherly rights.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 06:36 PM
2

Understood
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 04:38 PM
2

Yes, no problem. I've tried dating, and it's very one-sided. Most of the women I've dated want to be wined and dined and not give up the sex. Guess this is what is called a "Simp." Honestly, it's best to just pay for sex and not deal with headaches and good diggers.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 04:20 PM
3

Listen up, you're a man and have needs just a woman. You can do whatever you want to do, but remember what brought you to divorce. Meaning, don't go all in and fall into the same trap. You know the signs and all the flags that you received from your ex. Sew your oats, but don't fall easily back into a situation that you're currently facing. That is all!!!
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 03:38 AM
3

This man is telling us he's doing all he can to save his marriage alone, it takes both to make it work. The fact she's not interested in doing what she can to dave the marriage means she's been done. Keep it real. You'll know the time to tell your son what was really the issue.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 03:39 AM
20

Bro, be ready for the long haul. She's begun to replace you. No good mother would do such deeds. You're going to be hit with the fact they are calling him Dad. All of this is to push you to insanity and prove to the courts on her behalf that you are out of control and angry, which is why she left. You need to develop thick skin. Just my two cents, I'm ex military. Stay strong, bro.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 02:19 AM
2

If you stay given the fact you need to divorce, you'll be doing your son a disservice. It's tough, but don't stay just for the child's sake. You're here because you know your marriage is done. You, your son, will be ok. Don't let that be an excuse to stay. Coming from someone who's done that. Happy Father's Day. Be ready for war!!!
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 02:03 AM
55

Man all I can say after reading this is Happy Fathers Day brothers.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/23 03:03 AM
4

She called it quits before I did, me not knowing the advantage of filing 1st. I'm good with it, though, but glad to be rid of that leech, which is still bleeding me dry, rather bleed slowly than sucked faster to death.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/23 02:00 AM
3

You're going to have this happen for a while. I tell you this, find something that uplift you now so when these feelings come, you can adjust. Your EX been detached from you well before divorce filing. Nothing you can do about this except to do things that build you up. Wake up Brother and push forward...
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/23 01:29 AM
3

Well for me, it had been a while since I played Madden after marriage. I was pretty good but with anything that you enjoyed during before marriage, you need to get familiar with it again. Which is actually, focusing your energy into something you enjoy to keep you from going into the "Dark Thoughts Mentally" Anybody on here that play Madden, let me know so we can go to War. I'm a Saints fan. Born and breed Louisianian.... "WhoDat ⚜️"
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 03:27 AM
12

Man please, I'm 47 and I still play Madden. To each his own.... Give me my Madden.... Stress reliever.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 02:55 AM
1

I'm not certain about that. But give it a try
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 05:42 PM
1

Child support can't be included in a Bankruptcy. Trust me from experience. Family Court and Child Support has closed all the loop holes.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 04:07 PM
1

Agreed
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 04:51 AM
19

I'm not as intellectually inclined as you are based on your verbiage, yet as a Military Veteran, I think you have an extreme case of significant change of circumstances that any family Court should recognize. You need to get back in Court, for modification of Child support as well as custody. You're being rolled on Sir. Time to take a stand and fight this system but make sure you fight for custody as well.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 03:02 AM
1

Liver function test. Sheesh...
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 11:42 AM
12

All I can say is Wow and she's low down.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 12:39 AM
22

Regardless of if there were kids, Women will be Women. Women that initiate divorce deserve nothing but what's designed for them which is "Karma".
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 12:23 AM
1

Mandalorian
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 12:15 AM
1

Sounds simple, but my ex has the kids' mind. Evil is her name
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 10:32 PM
2

Understood.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 03:51 PM
2

How do you prove the First right of Refusal. Me ex does this all the time but I can't get proof.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 03:37 PM
1

I'm in Texas as well. I agree, set a trial date because otherwise, this will be dragged out with no resolution.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 04:53 PM
1

Sorry about that
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 10:14 AM
0

Tia? So you're a woman in a men's group. Why are you here?
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 01:55 AM
1

Welcome
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 01:41 AM
3

Good for you. Keep that same energy going.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 09:14 PM
9

What i get out of what you posted that I've read, watching porn means she's not satisfying you. I can say with absolute certainly that you both have had a talk about sex. Yet, for her, it felled on deaf ears. Don't beat yourself up for watching porn. Beat yourself up for the fact that you have a whole wife and you have to satisfy yourself by watching it. Most women think that they can control men and teach them lessons by withholding sex but, it does the opposite, and we seek other means of sexu…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 09:13 PM
5

I'm sorry for your struggle and knowing you gave your all. Remember, it takes two to make a marriage work, and if only one is willing, then the other that isn't doesn't belong. Mourn your marriage, but don't accept the blame. Keep your head up and keep improving yourself and, most of all, learn to accept what is.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 09:02 PM
2

She did that to be Vindictive, explains why the divorce is happening. My ex was a STAH, never worked just reaped the benifits. Glad you are getting another Attorney. Good luck brother
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 04:19 PM
3

Retired Military here, until you're divorced officially, I was required to keep insurance on her. This was Texas, but I agree that stiffing you with the bills that is her responsibility. Do you have an Attorney? If so, this need to be addressed A.S.A.P. and for the duration until the divorce is final. Hope this helps.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 12:58 PM
11

She knows that's a button that'll push you. Eliminate the buttons, all will fall. Meaning, don't ever let her know when things bother you, if you do, it'll keep going and get worse.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 09:23 PM
2

Bro, you have a toxic Ex, grey rock her!! You both been married so long that she knows the buttons to push you, she's pushing you to get the worst out of you to prove you have anger issues and she claim her and the kids are afraid of you. Understand these simple words regardless of what she says to you. " Ok" that's all you need to respond to damn near everything is "Ok" that's called grey rocking. Don't engage in back and forth arguments. Strictly communicate on a parenting app that's court ord…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 03:07 AM
6

Me and you had the same experience. Congrats brother, I just went through it last month (April) enjoy the victory and relish in the peace of mind it brings.. Never give up, fight, fight, fight like hell....
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 02:58 AM
2

I've heard conflicting stories regarding this. Can you explain it some more?
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 05:08 PM
2

I concur with this. My1st Attorney was garbage, I got screwed in the inhospitable initial divorce but, I retained a new Attorney that specializes in Father's rights, after a year of delays on my Ex's side, (My Attorney was smart, letting them think the delays were good for them, but was evidence for us) All day trial, and the end results, Ex and her dishonest and unethical Attorney, were found out as we had proof, and I was able to get more custody of the kids and Child Support reduction. Judge …
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:18 PM
10

Brother I'm no way encouraging you to follow my path. During my Divorce, as all good men that give their all during the marriage, especially with a STAHM, to turn around and get divorced and on top of that, to Alienate the kids, I left for 2yrs.No contact, No excuse. I'm military and was dealing with the loss of my Mom, and kids. Got myself together, came back and fought like hell, even the abandoned stuff, yet the Judge saw through the bs of the EX and She condone and applauded me for taking ca…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 04:26 AM
2

I second this
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 02:13 AM
2

That's a good story and your results although are good but most men aren't in the position as you were and none of us will ever think the same except the fact that we want more time with our kids and have a direct impact on their life and the decisions that go with that. Don't down those who are on a different legal path than your success. Congrats to you though.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 12:37 AM
1

Hope does fade as the delays continue, I had very little custody with my kids and fought three long years and last month was awarded more custody. Long hopeless three years but all wasn't for nothing
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 02:18 PM
1

Ok, I misunderstood, yes that time in between is misery but the long game will have been worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 01:51 PM
2

I know it sucks for them to kick the can(Trial) down the road, it should've been mandatory for her to be there. Imagine what would've happened if you didn't show up. Hang in there, you'll get some custody of your kid.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 12:55 PM
1

Any word on how Court was and your outcome?
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 09:53 PM
1

My lawyer is skilled and won me more custody, I just wanted to check here 1st before asking them and being charged
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 01:04 AM
1

Ok, I wasn't told I need a mandatory class on this
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 12:53 AM
1

1st, 3rd and 5th weekends at 6pm on Thursdays in June or on Fridays?
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 12:46 AM
1

Appreciate this
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 12:45 AM
1

What are the pick up/ drop off times when they are out for the summer?
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 12:25 AM
4

It's not all on you, don't take the blame.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 12:24 AM
3

I'd have to agree airing things out on social media is bad on your part yet, I understand your position. From this point forward, move in silence, you're going to lose the comforability that you been used to but remember this, you're going to gain more as long as you keep a cool head. You're in the trenches, but, you can survive and come back stronger.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 12:21 AM
2

Wish you nothing but the best from the U.S
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 10:25 PM
18

Bro, it's over. You're sharing your wife, come on! Get a lawyer and file.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 06:22 AM
1

What are the pick-up times when kids are out of school for the summer. During school, I pick them on Thursdays and Fridays and take them to school Fridays and Mondays
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 03:50 PM
1

Understood
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 10:20 AM
0

Your view, your point, your comments are unproductive. You are the bull shit. Get off your soap box and and as your user name says "Throwaways" chump ...
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 04:09 AM
1

My point and statement was clearly stated from my point of view and personal experience. You stated yours, I owe you nothing. My point is my opinion, and you're here trolling me. This is why we have freedom of speech. You haven't added any input to this topic besides responding to me, which subjects that you may not be a man and if you are a man, add constructive language to this topic besides your current approach.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 03:55 AM
1

It's been stated. What is your point in attacking me?
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 03:39 AM
6

I stopped buying after I didn't receive anything for Fathers day or my birthday.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 03:30 AM
1

Never did I say that anyone is off the hook or the victim is at fault. Apparently, you're a victim and I'm not attacking no one just trying to relay a message to a victim as I once was.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 03:27 AM
9

Brother, let that shyt go. Obviously divorcing men and women will find a fuck buddy. Your focus need to be on the kids, if you have them, if not, cut her off. If you're invested in her fuck buddy's, that means you are still connected to her which gives her power. So stop being petty, shut that account down, let her get her own, move on Bro. I was married 16yrs, I'm not telling you this to screw you but only educate you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 01:36 AM
1

Certainly Brother, live your life without fear of rejection. Take care.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 10:58 PM
1

We as Men need to come to terms of the reasons of divorce. Regardless of who were at fault. One person isn't the cause of divorce, both are. Having said that, with your situation, dating women, most after hearing you say that you're divorced want to know why? Those that ask that, mostly will be the judge mentally type yet, I've had others tell me it was wrong but also understand why. I wouldn't sweat it my Man, just live your life.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 10:25 PM
0

This is your advice? Lord Have Mercy for us Men!!!
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 02:24 AM
2

I have no more words for this.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 12:06 AM
52

Bro, excuse me, but did you really just post this? Why are you and your Ex and her lover under the same roof? Is this correct?
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/23 12:26 AM
3

Is it in your Decree that she's required to give you notice before taking your kids to the Dr. Do you want to go or know about it before hand?
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 08:55 AM
40

Bro, get a lawyer, dump the leech. She stayed for the money that she thinks she's obviously entitled to but didn't contribute. Take heed, and lastly, congrats on your retirement( Your hard earned independent retirement)
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 12:32 AM
7

Bro, worrying about losing custody because of your health says alot about the piece of work you had kids with. Excuse my French "Fuck Her" continue your current schedule, live your life the best as you can with your current health and keep that Attorney on call for when the BS hit the fan. No Judge will take time from you for your health issues. I'm so pissed you even have to ask but I know it's necessary for your piece of mind.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 12:32 AM
2

Stop being what they call us 'Simps" fuck that, go nuclear..... I mean no disrespect, but she can't have her cake and ice cream too. "Nuke her Azz" hate broads playing victim and playing with good husband's emotions. Cold shoulder Bro, fuck that, Ice Shoulder so she slips da fuck off.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 12:06 AM
1

Bro, I'm sorry and meant no disrespect but apparently I offended you which was my point. Your reaction says it all. She don't give 2 fucks about you except for what monetary gain she can get playing on your emotions. I was there but will never be there again.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 02:14 AM
12

Story of most of our lives... I waited until my alienated oldest turned 18 and cut off the communication. What Father's and Mother's need to understand with alienation, at age 15 and older, that child certainly knows right from wrong yet chose to disrespect and be rude to the other parent. It's an abomination and I no longer play the nice Dad too get subpar respect. I salute those of you who let the disrespect slide and cater to the alienated child. 🫡
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 02:01 AM
7

Go atomic.... Fuck her feelings
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 01:14 AM
3

Don't do that she'll stick you with child support. Get 50/50. Money in a Divorce and after change them. You must not have read through a majority of the post made here. I suggest you do and your question more than likely has been addressed. You're being too nice and I promise it'll backfire.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 03:39 PM
1

Can you get a new father's right attorney and new Judge? I'm retired Navy and been through a shit storm the past 3yrs but hope arrived and I found my shit slinger and the shit slinging has been reversed
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 03:06 AM
1

ED? I also didn't see in your post regarding kids. I know you love her but the hardest thing in your life right now is to let go of that leech and get yourself together.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 02:59 AM
6

I'm from the South and it's been said we are slower mentally than the Northerners. Cut those ties to her
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 02:52 AM
2

250k and you still got burned and live less than 10 miles apart. That's bs. I'm in Texas and live 38miles and fight the same 3yrs as you and for more custody. It's your Attorney? You need to request a new Judge, they have literally screwed you more ways than Sunday....
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 02:46 AM
2

You're down but you're not out. I just want to offer you that you aren't alone and I know how tough and tight it is, I couldn't even get my kids because I had no where to go. I decided to research lawyers in my area that specializes in Father's rights as well as accommodate the fact that I couldn't pay full retainer but were good in their job. I told them my situation, (Men do not believe in being vulnerable to strangers) but I had no choice but to give one last fight and it worked in my favor.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 01:33 AM
1

I'm not use to the warrant issues so forgive me but again that's(in my opinion) your 1st obstacle to hurdle.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 01:25 AM
1

If you don't fight you'll lose more. She knows all that you just told me and her understanding is that you'll give up and she'll win. I understand all you're doing about finances, hell I was homeless nearly a year. The reality is from my perspective, your kids will understand your financial situation for fighting for them more than you not having a dollar for them and I mean no disrespect, I'm giving you the facts of what I have endured. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 01:22 AM
2

Your most immediate issue is to fight that warrant. They don't issue warrants unless you fail to appear to Court. Did you not show up to Court for that bogus charge before the warrant was issued?
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 01:15 AM
2

Go for blood, you will not regret it. Custody and Child Support is worth the fight. I fought 3 long yrs and went for blood and dammit blood was spilled but i got my results along with a hefty legal expense. Go for broke, fight for you and your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 01:12 AM
2

I agree, I went 3yrs
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 12:12 AM
1

I agree
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 12:11 AM
1

What part of Texas are your kids in?
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 11:34 PM
4

Bro, you need to find an Attorney that will accept you in a Hybrid Retainer (Monthly Payments) you need to move back to Texas, it's been almost 2yrs that you've been denied Visitation. You need to move A.S.A.P.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 10:58 PM
1

Are you divorced
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 09:07 PM
1

You need to find the strength for your kids, you need to recognize and come to terms that your kids well be used against you as your Ex knows that's your weakness. I've been in your shoes and I battled my Ex for 3yrs post Divorce and endured the worst but the end resulted in a major turn around and Custody and Child Support modification in my favor. Search for Attorneys in your area that specializes in Father's rights, research them and call them and tell them your story and see if they will wor…
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 11:08 AM
1

A cheap lawyer will screw you most times as they like any Attorney, just want to get paid. Sounds like you need to go all in and get a Attorney that specializes in Father's rights. Do it now and quit talking to your Ex and Mother in law. They are on one accord, to screw you. It's your son as well. You're at War and the battle is for your son.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 11:00 AM
1

Asinine
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 03:15 AM
9

I stopped reading after the 1st sentence
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 02:27 AM
4

You have to understand that we've all been through simliar experiences yet, the one constant that's always been the common denominator is the wife. They know what they're doing and know that the only ones to do it to is the good guys which is why they married us. It's tough, heart wrenching, but in order to keep yourself from getting screwed(as alot of us may have been because of being the good guy) focus(which is hard) on who you were before the yrs you've given her and fight back to a level of…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 09:33 PM
5

Congrats
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 05:40 AM
11

Dragging out 1yr, try the three (been divorced for 3yrs) but soon after realizing my 1st Attorney helped screw me I've been fighting like hell. Fellow Vet here, long story short, this month, a wrong was righted this month. Been fighting for Modification soon as divorce was final in 2020. New lawyer, New results, New me. Judge this month actually said, "you may have had a bad lawyer the 1st go round but not this time, you have a good Attorney" Keep fighting.....
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 03:48 AM
1

What about when school is out
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 07:01 AM
2

Bro, just like you took the time to learn and be great at your job, you are all ready great at your job as a dad, expoun on what you offer them as a stable Dad, adjust, adapt keep it moving. Don't worry about their Mother parenting and interaction. You, we, us, got this....
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 08:05 PM
1

Yes, Pro Military Judges rule and cherish our sacrifice and service and those types of Judges, every Veteran should have.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 04:06 PM
7

Damn, we must have a Judge that are related. My Ex Attorney were questioning my PTSd, claiming I was an alcoholic (No DUI, Police Activity) Judge cut off opposing Attorney questioning and said " This Veteran served and protected our Country for 20yrs and I will not have his PTSD diagnosis used against him in my Court" I lived for that.....
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 03:23 AM
3

Similar for me as a Sailor. (Texas)Judge ruled to reduce my child support and pay it according to my income from 2020, although my income currently has increased but based on the fact that I'm retired and disabled. I went from $1325 to $880. Ex is pissed and the alleged $10k in arrears has to be recalculated which in essence will balance itself off. Veterans do have Judges that care for them and their children.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 03:16 AM
2

@minilabthrow She had our daughter diagnosed with damn near all the severe mental disorders. My kids Mother is a psychology major, which makes this all the worse. I have medical insurance on the kids yet she was taking our daughter to an out of network Psycologist, that diagnose kids with mental disorders based on what the parent tell them. Sad, sad, sad. Which is why the Judge asked her why was she taking her to an out of network provider....Busted!!!
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 03:49 PM
1

I hear you
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 11:13 PM
2

What I can say, if a parent has medical insurance on the children but the primary parent chose to use an out of network provider because that provider will diagnose kids with issues based on the parent that bring them there, that says alot to the Court. Hope this helps...
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 09:08 PM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 05:37 PM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 04:11 PM
2

Yes, that is how it starts and Mom will claim kids are afraid of you and so on and so forth. Don't lose your cool around them because just as you are keeping records, she certainly is. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 02:43 PM
3

Daughter has a mental diagnosis, for that the old Judge allowed permanent child support. New Attorney knew it was bs, and the new Judge as well, Mother kept taking oldest to get additional mental diagnosis to keep the child support, Attorneys proved it to be bs and Judge told Mother, daughter needs to work and recommended she follow my foot steps and join the military. Great day but sad too see Mom use our child for monetary purposes.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 01:38 PM
1

Also I was stuck with permanent child support for the oldest, Texas allows this but my Attorney was so good, they had that dismissed. I'm in the DFW area.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 01:27 PM
3

For both Father's and Mothers who do it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 01:25 PM
2

Thank you and Yes 7yr Son, 16yr daughter and 19yr daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 01:16 PM
4

I had Attorneys that are skilled in family law along with Parental Alienation, they subpoena msgs stemming from original divorce to show pattern of my then 16yr old msgs that showed adult overtones(teenagers don't write long txt msgs especially to their parents) msgs between her and Mom. Their Social media accts as well as msgs on family Wizard. The best thing I did was not to react as most parents would like to dealing with alienation except that I cut communications once she turned 18. Bigger …
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 01:14 PM
7

The evidence used was messages between my daughter and I and her and her Mother, showing those conversations along with the fact that these conversations were from 2020 and up to now. I had a female new Judge but I also had very dedicated reliable Family Attorneys. Female vs Female, you know your Attorney is good when the Judge tells you that you have a good Attorney. Cost alot but isn't it kids worth it?
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 06:39 AM
8

Well, I understand that logic, yet, I've been fighting for 3yrs and will continue to stay on guard and fight for my rights. Thanks for the heads up.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 06:33 AM
11

Not at all, scolded her regarding it. That sucked but it's on the record for any further alienation. That actually helped me get more custody, Judge told me if I lived in the same town, she would've given me more Custody. Guess I'll be moving when my lease is up....
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 05:05 AM
1

It doesn't work, I have it and my Ex still do these things.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 06:54 PM
3

They aren't your friends. I know it hurts but, they have picked sides and a row of thumb for me, if I no longer engage with someone, I usually don't engage with anyone they engage with.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 03:23 AM
1

So she can get more child support.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 04:17 PM
18

47 here as well and nearly 3yrs divorced. I can say I agree with all of you. My take on this is if your dating, then you're dating for a purpose, I tried it, hated it and I just enjoy my seclusion. I'd rather be lonely than screwed again.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 03:31 PM
1

I'm leaving this group, no longer about men. Change the name!!!
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 12:10 AM
2

At this point, I will no longer contribute. Idk who you are as you didn't answer if you were the Mother. This is a Men's group. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 03:53 AM
1

I understand and mean no harm. There was a comment that said differently. I'm speaking from my experience which isn't his. Again, I apologize. Thank you for clarity. So you're the Mother?
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 03:45 AM
1

These comments baffles me. Scorn women, turn children against their Fathers. I suggest some of you Fathers, join the Parental Alienation group and hopefully see things differently before judging.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 03:40 AM
4

Drink a shot for all of us. Enjoy Brother...
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 06:18 PM
1

I don't trust this post. Been reading Women be on here posing as men. How do we know?
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 12:28 AM
2

No contact I agree yet, that's where Parental Alienation can begin as well. I'm living it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 03:51 AM
2

Which one of you keep bringing up Divorce? I'm assuming your wife. If so, she's been planning this for a while. You 1st need to decide where you're getting stationed. I say if you want Cali, go for it. Either way, make sure to find an Attorney that specializes in military divorce and as Retired Military myself, She is now entitled to a Portion of your retirement.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/23 03:25 AM
11

She's planned to take you for everything since becoming a STAHM. She knows she will be awarded a percentage of your retirement, she will claim she can't hold or work a job. Your lawyer needs to be very proactive at this point. She will use your military service against you at the same time use your service to benefit her. Take heed to my words
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 04:51 AM
4

I use to wonder why some replies don't get responses. After reading yours, I have my ANSWER!!!
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 04:05 AM
2

Things will turn around, believe that.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/23 10:22 PM
1

Karma will hit when what she do, doesn't faze you at all. I've been dealing with it going on 3yrs. The only thing you can control is yourself and how you react to her shenanigans. Remember, our Exs know us like the back of their hand. They know all the buttons to push. It's up to us to show that those buttons died with the divorce. Get strong and stay stronger....
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 04:02 AM
5

I approve and second these great responses. You took the biggest step most men will not do, asking for guidance. Do as they have told you brother.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 03:46 AM
1

Is there one or many of this book?
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 05:40 PM
2

Could you elaborate on how this book changed your life?
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 06:51 PM
1

2.5 yr Divorced here..... Haven't seen my ring since beginning of separation. I don't care either who need that Reminder hanging around? Get rid of it
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 06:26 PM
6

"How do u guys trust women again? Or can you? I'd say are you at a place to trust yourself?
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 09:44 PM
2

"Why do I feel so guilty" Good men feel that way, as I assume all of us in here feel or felt. You've been putting your family before your needs as a man(Which good Men do) taking care of what was supposed to be your life partner. It hurts to see the blindness of seeing who she truly is unfold before you, you have to absorb the reality of what it is, digest it, understand that it takes two too make it work. I believe you gave your all but, your all wasn't good enough for your Ex. Take your time, …
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 08:55 PM
1

"Hoping for a sliver" No Sir, cut her out of your heart 1000%, she's not your anymore Precisely. It's hard I've been there as well but it's been time for you to move on. Men like us that have a good heart get crushed, crush what's holding you back and live brother.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 06:37 PM
1

"Eye Opening"
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 04:11 AM
0

Sitting here with a fresh popped bag of Orveill Redenbacher's....
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/22 03:17 AM
3

Were you drinking with her before you both married? More than likely so! Savage your marriage? That's what we(Men) want but the Wives that start off doing what you're going through, they've thought this out well ahead of time and hate to say, you need a Lawyer Brother, and trust me, she will use your recent DUI along with the drinking during your marriage against you. Others will chime in but, this is my perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 12:25 AM
1

Yes I regret it like I'd regret catching diarrhea
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 06:14 PM
7

Classic gas lighting. You need to "Grey Rock" her(Don't let her get you into those arguments) find a way to record the negative things said in front of the kids. Document, if she feels comfortable talking down to you in front of yall children, she's going to do it with you being gone(Parental Alienation)
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/22 04:52 PM
3

u/wrestcody & u/Deusbob all of us (Male & Female Veterans, they are and have too) have identical stories. I can't advise you what to do but, what I had to do was fire the crappy Attorney that let my Ex Attorney rail road & take me to the cleaners. So I had to come to terms since I can't work and I'm on SSDI and Retired and 100% VA rated, I stopped paying the half of court ordered Child Support and found an Attorney that would allow me to pay what they call a Hybrid Payment..... Meaning, pay them…
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/22 09:26 PM
4

Anytime and you're welcome
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/22 01:42 AM
8

Brother, go ahead and tear up, it's ok, that means you're a decent human, a real man and father. Now at a point, you must fight, don't give up, don't lose hope, don't continue to focus on how screwed over you've been dealt. Don't lose the good part of you and become bitter, don't let her see your misery, I'm not saying be fake, but what did you do when you were deployed and faced the worse? You adapted am I right? You need to adapt to this and understand that the Courts favor the Mothers while g…
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/22 01:35 AM
13

Listen fellow Veteran, I was in the same boat as you, financially and had a shifty Attorney for two years as she let my ex wife Attorneys control the situation, I got screwed. I'm in Texas, listen, I couldn't sleep, eat, do anything for myself because I got screwed royally., I had income that was drained by my ex and had to stick with my Attorney I had that let my ex lawyer screw me. I didn't qualify for anything because of my income as well, although it was being sucked up by the ex. It's hard …
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/22 01:19 AM
3

What state are you in? Veteran here asking
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 07:53 PM
22

Solid, I'm interested. For sure, Cover Parental Alienation
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/22 02:08 AM
2

18yrs
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/22 12:54 PM
3

Texas here, Judge denied Alimony from the start.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/22 03:06 AM
1

Yes, almost 3yrs currently. Two yrs I had an Attorney that screwed me royally and was only out for a payday. I have a new Attorney for the past year, Texas Family Courts are backed up and paying catch up due to Covid, supposedly. You have to come to terms that, your situation is not with the woman you once loved but with someone who's going to get what they know they can get from you. Military benefits causes Ex's to go overboard. They now want the children and the benifits they think they're en…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 03:30 AM
2

Brother, Hybrid payment is when Attorneys know you're strapped for cash but know you can pay them monthly based on your income. So let's say, going to trial(Divorce Court) say it cost $10k, which in the DFW area is about right. The Attorney will set you up on a payment plan that will inconvenience your post but will not break you as other Attorneys will require you to pay the full retainer of $10k before they deliver their services.. Some will say, take out a loan, borrow from family, to be hone…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 02:44 AM
1

I'm ex- military as well and I'm the dfw area. If you do as suggested as you do go to court to witness these attorneys, find one also that does a hybrid payment( Paying them monthly)
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 02:18 AM
5

Together dating 10yrrs, no problems married 2 1/2 months, problems... Math doesn't add up, Get out Now
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 01:56 AM
1

Hoping someone can answer, I'm in the same situation, Ex keeps dragging things out
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 12:34 AM
22

Don't do it, I did it for a year because of Parental Alienation their Mother was doing. I woke up and decided to fight back and during the process, my oldest(Alienation) worked on her but, by me leaving helped and she and I don't have a relationship but my younger two, I have them every other weekend. You may need a lawyer and take her to Court for harassment and false claims. I don't know but, you have to fight. Fight like hell.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/22 07:15 AM
1

I guess I'm the only man in this situation. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/22 01:19 PM
1

Sorry, I retained an Attorney, it's been a year exactly, Ex Attorneys are great with stalling tactics. I'm on SSDI, Ex been receiving payments for children because of my Disability but has yet notified Texas OAG. My ATTORNEY WANTS TO USE THIS AS LEVERAGE. I just want it to be credited and so, I can get the correct amount of Child Support, that I'm required to pay. The Judge ruled during final hearing two yrs ago that if I receive social security, that he may rule that's all Ex gets and I keep th…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/22 09:17 PM
1

Unfortunately
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/22 07:30 AM
1

Question? Have you been offered by the Court to pay Child Support? If not, stop paying and retain a lawyer. If so, stop paying and retain a lawyer. Bottom line, get a lawyer. You have a fight on your hands bro. Sorry to tell it raw. Some will think by me saying stop paying CS is a dead beat move but, you can't survive mentally, and physically in your current state. Get a lawyer Brother. Only good, real men, and fathers ask the questions that you are asking. Get a lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 03:20 AM
2

Paid the same 4k, a year to this month and the only thing my Attorney (2nd btw)can tell me is that, an agreement was made on mediation.... Straight bull. I respectfully thank the bro who said in this, avoid mediation a billing sink hole..... I'm divorced (2yrs), just want to modify Custody and Child Support here in Texas...😡
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 02:12 AM
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