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Soon-to-be-Catlady Archive

View 3 posts and 901 comments by Soon-to-be-Catlady on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Women initiate divorce about 80% of the time Isn't the statistic about who is filing? My sister filed for divorce after her husband cheated because he just... didn't. Even after he moved in with the affair partner. So the statistic doesn't tell us anything about who is leaving.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 11:12 AM
5

I agree with this. Regarding 2, it might have even been an incompatibility in text communication if she double texts all the time. Maybe she would like someone who spends more time on the phone communicating with her.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/23 08:29 PM
1

Overall I agree, but I think an important factor to consider is that many attractive guys in their 20's and even early 30's are not interested in relationships. I dated men in their late 30's since I turned 26 because they were often more interested in something long-term. So this could benefit older guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 05:30 PM
–

Similarly, one ex and I were in the same course and I did not notice him at all at first. We all had to give a presentation and I couldn't even remember his topic when we later talked about it. But during the later excursion part of the course we got to chat once in a while and one drunk night made out, which let to us dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 08:37 AM
2

There are exceptions to this, many women in research like to date male scientists, but in most cases they don't get paid well and have no job security.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 06:34 AM
2

My last two partners are overweight, and I definitely appreciate that the current is because he cooks nice food, not like the previous one who would stuff his face with fast food.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 07:57 AM
3

She said its ok because we were not bf/gf officially yet. It might not be cheating, but it's ok if you are uncomfortable with it. Next time you start dating someone and progress to the second date, maybe ask if you could focus on each other for the time being and date exclusively. I know a lot of women (me included) are fine with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 07:55 AM
7

I hope my partner will get a vasectomy in the future because I have terrible side effects caused by birth control. We are both a little on the fence but leaning towards child-free.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 04:48 PM
2

Because I like the look of it, so I put some on every other week. No one forces my boyfriend to iron and put on a nice shirt either but he does so anyway when we go out. Pretty normal stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 07:17 PM
2

If makeup vanished overnight As a woman I would absolutely love that, because removing mascara and lipstick is an absolute pain. And to be honest, I think most women do that before they go to bed, even if it's with a guy. So usually there is no make up left in the morning anyway?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 10:52 AM
12

I am really attracted to bald men. I do admit that some men can pull it off better than others, but if they do, I am really into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 08:51 PM
–

I have used OLD age 25-29, and a couple months at 31, next to other ways of getting dates (set up by friends etc). In that time I have rarely swiped right because a) most profiles were low-effort, and I only swipe right if there is an indication that we'll get along b) I vet hard - any type of red flag etc in the profile is giving me an ick and I won't even entertain it c) I do have a type and it's hard to be open on apps that focus so much on looks, but I also swiped left on guys that I deemed …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 08:27 AM
2

I was thinking about that type of invisibility. I definitely wasn't invisible throughout life, but I was invisible whenever I went out with my best friend in my teen years. No one would pay attention to me, everyone was only noticing her. Even in my dating profile a couple months ago the "most viewed" picture would be the one I had with her in it (pixelated her after). I always have been much more successful in terms of flirting and engaging with men when doing activities separately from her.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 01:26 PM
5

Doesn't happen too often to me, but if so I am all smiles and friendliness because I don't want to be impolite. Just recently someone started chatting to me in a bar and I engaged in the conversation because he was a friendly guy. Eventually I thanked him for the nice chat and told him I hope he enjoys the rest of the evening, and then walked off to my friends. Hope that was nice enough?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/23 07:42 AM
–

I have only ever dated introverted men, because I am an introverted woman. Introverted women might find some extroverted men attractive but spending time with them is way too exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/23 05:30 PM
1

Depends a little on life style choices and what's left. Usually 50/50, but if he wants e.g. to rent a more expensive flat than I want to pay for, I might see if we can come to an agreement to distribute costs differently. As long as I am still happy with my leftover money for discretionary spending, I won't be too picky about it though. In most scenarios I would save money living with someone instead of living alone, so unlikely I will ask for a redistribution.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/23 05:23 PM
–

They like to threaten us with a good time.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/23 06:55 AM
1

Only four more years to go!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/23 12:05 PM
32

I guess for many women it feels bad as it's expected that men would go for anything available. Many women don't approach because they expect men will think they have an easy time getting laid, if they are rejected instead, it would mean the woman isn't even good enough for that. While I didn't directly deal with that, it reminds me of a guy I was dating who was struggling to get hard. I felt rejected because we assume men always get hard and always want sex, but it's not like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 09:55 PM
4

I have seriously no idea what will happen next, and I am in no way inclined to assume. I hope obviously that she'll appreciate the guy more and gives this a proper go. Just mentioning here that the swipe rate has nothing to do with this. I am incredibly picky, my swipe rate is likely similar, but I have dated overwhelmingly nice guys with slightly above average looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 09:20 PM
1

Not sure what the context is but e.g. telling them "you decide what we have for dinner from now on" could be an example
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/23 06:49 AM
13

One of the most difficult things to find in the dating pool is financial literacy. It’s crazy how many men (and women) my age live paycheck to paycheck with absolutely no plans on how to change that. I never thought I would be as turned on as I am currently by a guy who knows how to handle money. I hate debts, I even hate long-term contracts for phones etc and prefer to save and buy outright. Meanwhile other people have no clue how many regular outgoings they have and are surprised every month t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/23 04:41 PM
1

Of course we think about what might be wrong with us. Even attractive women have lots of insecurities. But we might also consider incompatibilities as something that's not bad/no one needs to improve on (and I hope men realise those too). As one personal example, I didn't get a second date with someone I liked two years ago, and I am pretty sure it was because I talked way too much about myself. I was really impressed by his life and tried to impress him, and I later noticed that I just rambled …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 04:23 PM
4

Same, I kept on dating and having sex with some guys for a few weeks despite knowing I am not interested in long-term, with one I was FWB for several months and still didn't want a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 06:57 PM
2

How did you get from "kindness, sweetness, patience, and selflessness" to being anxious in bed? I think men who are more arrogant are searching more for hook-ups and approach wildly, so they get more chances than a kind man who wants to get to know women better first and maybe doesn't see an appeal in cold approaching/prefers to date within the social circle.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 06:29 AM
6

I do care about height like many other women (I am 5'9 and like them to be at least 5'10) so I figure it's just their way to increase swiping chances. Lying about it is obviously a no-go.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/23 09:58 PM
3

A few examples: Some guys think they need to do weird movements, e.g. kind of circling (I don't get it, I just want them to pump straight in). Some guys have a penis that's shaped in a way that either pokes you uncomfortably or creates no feeling at all. Some guys can't come for 30+ minutes and I get bored. Some guys don't make a noise at all which is strange. One guy eventually expected me to masturbate for an orgasm after sex without him being involved, which was a turn-off.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/23 06:24 PM
2

Agree with everything here apart from the height. Would add anything like "no drama" etc, I take it as indicator that they are causing drama.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/23 06:16 PM
1

I am leaving in three days back to my short Scottish dating pool hahaha. My female friend has lived here for 4 years and has not been able to find a relationship. She's has never had sex so not tempted to go casual, but there are just barely guys here interested in something serious. Very unfortunate for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 09:36 PM
3

Traveled to the US for the first time, visiting a friend in Hawaii. My god, bumble is a buffet of ripped yogi men... Most interested in casual (and I am not really looking to connect here) but some nice eye candy to swipe through, wow.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 07:00 PM
4

Depends on what women want as well. Since I turned 25, I have been dating 30-40 because men in their late twenties seemed not interested in commitment. My sister after divorce in her early 30s has been dating men under 30 because she wanted casual.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 08:03 PM
1

He's not (that's a deal-breaker for me and asked before I even meet them)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/23 07:44 PM
3

First date since my breakup yesterday. Guy is 6'2, rarely see a tall Scottish man. Thankfully he was also funny and kind, and has never been married and has no kids. Could be a true gem.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/23 05:07 PM
1

Badminton! I am biased though.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/23 12:11 AM
1

I think so, but hard to tell just from the dating app pictures.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/23 09:07 AM
1

Example from cognitive behavioural therapy: if you tend to fall into unhelpful thinking styles that trigger extreme reactions/emotions, it might be worth recording your thoughts and identify which unhelpful thought processes lead you there and what arguments are there to disable them. Over time, you react less extreme to things, as thoughts are the root to your emotions.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/23 03:00 AM
1

Let's hope you are right!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/23 02:22 AM
4

Got another potential date telling me they'll "look like a dummy" because I have a PhD. Why are they putting themselves down? Is that fishing for compliments so I call them smart?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/23 01:03 AM
1

We went to the cabaret supper club and raked up a massive bill with cocktails etc... Great evening though!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 09:53 AM
2

I felt terrible when I was dating a guy who made quite a lot of money and I was only a student, so 50:50 was not really an option. He would invite me to really fancy dinners and I would then cook something nice for him because I just couldn't afford more. He also ended up paying most (probably 80%) of a trip we took to Belfast and it haunts me to this day.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 09:48 AM
22

Why should they not stay open to the possibility, as long as they are okay with the fact that it's less likely to work? If you think your life is pointless without children, yeah you might want to get on it a little earlier. But that easily leads to desperate women having children with some deadbeats and end up in poverty if they have no career. If children are not necessary for your happiness, you can wait as long as you want. The tragic IVF cases are much more in focus than the many couples th…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/23 02:45 PM
9

I broke up with my ex mid January, and I didn't have anyone lined up/any orbiters etc. I have done the Grey's anatomy binge and some crying because I realised that the relationship caused me to stay in my current job and town, and I suddenly felt an unexpected freedom which overwhelmed me a little. While I am living my life a little more for myself now (exercising more regularly, applying for jobs in different places etc), I am also slowly dipping my toe back in the water on a dating app. I am n…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 11:28 PM
0

I think what's available has a lot to do with the age. Reasonable dating prospects are just hardly available in their 30s since most are matched up. Of the attractive guys I see in the dating app between 29 and 40 many are either single dads, obvious fuckboys or stating that they are only interested in casual, have no career at all etc. There are some gems in between but they are not as abundant as they were when I was dating in my mid twenties. Those that I met are often just recently divorced,…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 01:46 PM
1

I would judge them if they say "oh I don't care that animals suffer in cages", but I won't think they are bad people just because they eat meat. I just don't like to have meat in my fridge etc, so long-term this wouldn't work. Didn't mind at all that my ex ate meat in take aways or restaurants etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 08:20 PM
2

But this applies to other things. I wouldn't date someone who's allergic to cats, or someone who eats meat every day. It's just incompatibility, nothing to do with being better or worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 07:43 PM
5

Yes I know, and I hope they have those mitigation plans in place. It's just not rare for women to end in a bad spot when retirement comes. I just now pay 10% of my gross salary into pension and my employer pays 20%, I couldn't imagine my spouse being able to provide the same value.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 02:29 PM
2

Having had experience taught me which are my favourite sex positions and when during the whole act is the best time for me to orgasm, that doesn't have anything to do with the men's skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 09:58 AM
18

While I definitely can imagine that to be true, I would worry about social security payments and pension. But that might be very country specific. If the situation works for you two and the family though, it's probably the best decision.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 09:41 AM
2

Back on the dating apps and don't have the feeling the men are struggling much here or don't care, even the short overweight ones put zero effort into the profiles (e.g. one picture and no bio, only info is "man" and "don't know yet what I am looking for"). Why bother?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 11:43 PM
1

In my case it was a good way to explore bi-curiosity, turns out I am really quite straight.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 11:34 PM
10

My ex boyfriend didn't tell me how much credit card debt he has because he knew I would make him a plan how to manage it. Broken up and he still has it lingering over him.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 08:05 PM
3

No, I wouldn't be interested in that. I think taking care of children all day would really bore me. Could maayybe imagine working part-time. I also hate most chores and wouldn't want to pick up my partner's load as well if he expects that from the deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/23 12:17 PM
1

I think a lot about it is the tension of waiting for her to make a decision, while the different situations in the story make you root for one or the other guy in alternations.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 11:13 PM
7

God so many stories like this, and I love them. Guilty as charged.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 06:57 PM
1

17, and I have never been asked by a guy. A girl friend asked me once. I never counted apart from that one time and when interacting on PPD.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 12:19 PM
1

I am not on hormonal birth control anymore because I had very bad experience with it, I got super depressed, cried every day etc. I got a copper IUD in my last relationship and keep this now despite being single again since I don't want to get pregnant anytime soon. It is great as I don't need to remember it but my period is longer and more painful, so not perfect either. I have been insisting on condoms as extra control from most guys apart from two boyfriends
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 09:29 PM
1

I am 31, body count 17 if I didn't forget someone...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 10:19 AM
4

I have noticed that I am a sex-on-the-second-date girl and usually only going on a second date with someone who I really find attractive, so that's how it worked out with the last 4 guys I had sex with (2 from dating apps). With one guy I was in a FWB/short-term relationship for almost a year (we both didn't see it going anywhere but enjoyed each others company).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 01:48 PM
1

I just feel better about myself wearing the leggings, my belly is not moving etc. Loose trousers would make me look big (and they are not practical since my muffin top is high, so either they fall down or they sit so high that I have a camel toe). Still wearing relatively loose tops though.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 09:52 PM
1

Asking for inches but not for weight in stone. Disappointing
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 01:46 PM
2

I feel insecure about my belly and muffin top and a leggings squishes it all together.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 11:30 AM
1

Costa (café chain) sent their members vouchers to get 2 drinks for £4 for valentine's day, so I went out and had two drinks by myself while reading a book.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 12:20 AM
1

I don't think so, but her friend might. My sister is an incredible parent, and her ex is now a better parent than before the divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 10:07 PM
1

Just because someone came from a broken home or a dysfunctional family doesn't mean they can't be in a fulfilling relationship with someone just as long as they sorted themselves out Definitely. Reminds me of the time a friend of my sister chose her as godparent and people kind of assumed it was because my sister had the most stable upbringing (parents still married etc) of their friends group. Guess who's the only divorcee in the group now.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 11:59 AM
8

My partner and I are basically couple no. 2 (slightly slimmer but not much).
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/23 04:53 PM
6

I am seriously considering donating my eggs but I am not ready to face the whole procedure (hormonal BC had terrible effects on me, so the hormone injections might as well). Don't really mind that there might be my children running around somewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 08:13 PM
2

I (30F) had four (1, 2, 1, 1.5+ years). First one, he broke up with me when we left home for different universities, the second one I fell out of love, third one was a crash and burn because we had terrible communication and I fell into depression during the relationship. Had a break of 5 years because of life circumstances before I entered my current one. I think I might be little bit of a red flag as I never made it over 2 years, but looking at my history it's not like any of those would have …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/22 06:41 PM
2

Seriously how is this worse than doing a potentially meaningless office job somewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/22 09:29 AM
2

Plenty women have private Instagram accounts which only friends have access to.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/22 08:36 AM
1

What has worse influence on women: Online Dating or the unrealistic romance displayed in the media? I don't think I ever had this whole "abundance" mindset that's discussed regarding OLD, but watching Grey's Anatomy and this whole insane chemistry between the main couple is making me feel like I am missing out sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 04:36 PM
2

You’d be surprised by the number of marriages or partnerships I see where the father is so little help he actually creates more work and they’re literally better off without him The ex of my sister did not help at all with my nephew when they were together, now my sister has the weekends off and he HAS TO care (he's a doctor so he's not useless, he was just lazy). Almost a win?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 08:16 PM
9

Threatening us with a good time.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 01:14 PM
1

Is this for married women as well (honestly asking, I don't know)? Pretty sure that overall figures still have clearly more men cheating than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 11:14 AM
0

Could teach men not to cheat so women wouldn't file for divorce (like my sister did) but oh well they don't learn do they.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 10:02 AM
2

Depends on the type of date. I often had coffee dates as first dates that did not really allow for this, but if there was an evening date I would kind of expect it. Thinking about it I only had two first dates like that (drinks, going back to one's place etc) and the other time the guy was definitely hoping to get some but that time I wasn't ready. And I didn't mind that at all because he was being lovely and did not pressure me, so just a confidence boost.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 02:02 AM
10

D: it's a little disappointing (if I wanted sex) but people progress differently and should only go there when they are ready. I had this situation once, he said he wanted to take it somewhat slowly because he saw serious potential for a relationship. Went there on date 4 or 5 I think. And then he strung me along for a few months...
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 12:58 AM
2

I would not mind it, especially if two people are living with a little distance in between them. I also liked voice messages just to get a vibe. But if they live close by and they won't take time for a quick coffee with me I might be a little doubtful they would have time for a relationship (or wonder how many women they are dating, and that's kind of a turn off)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 01:28 PM
2

Same, I am 30 and have never been cold approached by someone I would consider dating. Older guys can be so cheeky, sitting in the train opposite of me and trying to talk me into exchanging numbers even though I told them I am taken/not interested. And a lot of the cold approaches are also just really weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 09:30 PM
1

Best first date I ever had was an exhibition (it was about mountains). Gives you a lot of stuff to talk about if you are not sure how to talk about yourself or what questions to ask the other person. Usually not that expensive either.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 12:40 PM
3

Yes, and the reason to not have a relationship are varied. During dating it often turns out that we are incompatible for a LTR, but we already had sex. Last guy that happend with was just not sharing my humour really, we enjoyed spending time together but I never had full on laughs with him etc. Just not what I wanted for a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 12:31 PM
2

While not for me, I do understand why polygamy might be the right path for some people. I believe you can be in love with more than one person and commit to them (which makes it different from swinging/open marriages). I do think only very few people will be capable of having successful polygamous relationship as they need a ton of communication, confidence and trust.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/22 05:25 PM
2

Seriously. even with two salaries it's extremely hard. I am thinking about having kids but childcare would cost us 1/3 of our combined gross income (median wage in our country). We don't own property, and we have no family living nearby to help out. I don't see it happening.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 12:47 AM
2

I definitely felt I knew who likely swiped right on me and who didn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 11:29 PM
1

I am 30F and had my first love at 18.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 08:37 PM
1

Not in my experience at least. Since I am 27 I have preferred dating 35+ because none of the early thirties were ready to settle down. In the end I found someone who's 10 years older.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/22 09:05 PM
7

Being very cheesy, I think love and being in love is not discussed enough as influential factor. Many people here come across as if they never have been in love (which is fair enough) and I feel this really hampers their understanding of how relationships can and should work.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/22 01:08 PM
1

Or insecure above average women.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/22 09:12 AM
2

Remember when my cheating ex-brother-in-law saw how much he will have to pay my sister and told her "You are not seriously asking for this much are you?". He's a doctor. And a douche-bag.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 03:15 PM
4

A friend of mine might not be the man of my dreams but he was seriously good relationship material. But he is allergic to cats, and even though I didn't have one at the time of us getting to know each other, I knew I would get one eventually so I didn't consider us ever to be a possibility. Have a cat now and a partner who has cats himself, while the other guy is still a friend. Friendzoned by a future cat...
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 01:34 PM
2

Also cold approaching is not a thing in Germany, neither picking up women from clubs Must have imagined how I made out with guys in clubs and went home with a few after ...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 12:11 AM
7

Same. I have a good job and would have maternity leave, live in a place where I can afford to buy property and send children to university. But after watching my friends go through constant screaming, bleeding nipples, husband cheating just after the birth... I just don't feel any desire to have children.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 09:07 AM
1

I didn't say anywhere that they make a bad partner. I only said it would make a difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 11:41 PM
0

I think it's not comparable because of the difference perceived. Will a guy notice/will the relationship be different if I had 10 or 30 partners? Unlikely. Will I notice/will the relationship be different if a guy had any partners or not? More likely. I don't think you should be judged for either though.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 11:37 AM
17

I think there is nothing wrong with divorce, and it doesn't even need a major reason like infidelity. A lot of people get married young and later realise they want different things from life. If you were married for 15 years it's still a very long relationship that marriage gave extra stability to, but there is no shame in accepting both parties would be happier outside of it. I think it's tragic that so many people feel like a failure if they would divorce, and then they are either stuck in abu…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 01:50 PM
1

I was doing my master's thesis at a research institute on a remote island (24 years old at the time) and the newly appointed director in his 40s whose family hadn't been able to join him yet made a pass on me. Like fully went for a kiss after we just had been drinking and chatting. If I would have engaged and told someone about it he would have been ruined. Just don't understand why one would risk this.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 12:28 PM
1

I think looking at the "why" is a good approach. I would find it weird if several engagements got broken off for example, but if they just didn't experience a long-lasting relationship due to circumstances that's fair enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 02:31 PM
3

My partner is 40 and I definitely would have preferred if he hadn't married his ex. A divorce is much more baggage to deal with than just a relationship. To me (30F) personally, not having been married will never be a red flag since I have never been at a stage in a relationship wanting to get married, so I would understand if someone else never got there
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 09:10 PM
2

I hand in my PhD thesis in 5 weeks so this is pure procrastination at this stage.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 02:46 PM
3

Water pressure and temperature in the shower. Double glazing in the windows (not the standard where I live). Check amount and position of sockets because sometimes you only have them in one unpractical corner. If you want to go crazy test all sockets with a nightlight to see if they work.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 02:44 PM
3

I have been saying the exact same thing here over and over. There is great, meh, and bad. And I never got into a relationship with anyone that's not great. I have zero clue if my sex now is better than with my last great partner 4 years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 12:43 PM
2

I never heard about that until I watched Grey's Anatomy. I am more of a second date sex girl myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 09:25 AM
2

I watched this and have zero idea what problem people have with this. Maybe it's a cultural thing, but in Germany this would be considered a nice night out without any crazy behaviour. We dance with our guy friends like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 09:23 AM
5

Nothing makes you appreciate your normal healthy relationship like reading people's opinions here.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 08:16 AM
2

I am supporting my partner to make the career change he didn't dare to do until now, he started courses to get some extra qualifications and will hopefully soon start an entry-level job. Will mean less money at the start but more money in the long run. Meanwhile, his ex wife completely stifled his motivation and ambition, telling him he wouldn't manage to do something new. So depends highly on the partner you got I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 07:55 AM
1

175cm, 59-62kg (S/M) most of my adult life but 74kg (L) after taking antidepressants in 2021. Last time I weighed myself I was at 71, working on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 09:08 AM
4

Those are likely not the same women. I wouldn't mind my partner watching porn, and was surprised to learn that he masturbates to pictures of me instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 09:00 AM
2

This is really not normal. None of the men I know would ever be mad at their partner for something like this. They would NOT come to the place and force their partners out. In situations like this one sends a message saying they'll unfortunately take longer than expected and their new ETA and that's the end of it, the men won't be upset about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 09:11 AM
1

We both have cats already, I have one and he shares three with his ex. We will have more in the future for sure haha
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 12:50 PM
2

My partner tears up at the thought of homeless cats in the shelter, and I think that makes him perfect.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 08:57 AM
–

Nah, the 30s without kids can be as enjoyable as the 20s, just with more money! I have been a poor student for a decade (finishing my PhD now), I am looking forward to a 37 hour week with double the money I am used to. Just won't get myself one of these little crotch goblins anytime soon, or ever. Got many friends in their thirties who enjoy life, yeah might not be getting drunk every weekend but I have no issue at all loving life on a patio with a glass of wine and friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 08:12 AM
3

Exactly what I thought, I am finishing my PhD soon and I get the hots for postdocs and lecturers all the time, despite knowing their crap salaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 04:58 PM
2

That happend to me with 29 but not because of age, it happend because of weight. Put on 8kg during the pandemic and my boobs will never forgive me.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 10:33 PM
3

As a German the first weird thought to cross my mind was "my sister has no butt and she was born before the wall fell..."
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 10:30 PM
33

I agree that it's not a common risk to experience violence on a date, but saying that based on this "women have only advantages" is bs. I could have gone without that one date (walking in the park with a beer) where the guy sent me videos rubbing his dick afterwards, thank you very much.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 10:26 PM
3

I know one case of that, and they both were toxic. They fought in front of everyone, broke up, she cried, and next day all was back to normal. One time they did that whole spiel at a friend's birthday and another friend of ours didn't get the memo and thought it was so tragic, was comforting her after, saying how he always thought her ex was a dick. Well next day they are back together but she feels uncomfortable meeting with that friend because "he hates my boyfriend". Absolutely ridiculous!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 08:11 PM
2

here a study that shows the exact opposite of that original post, as well as an article of LinkedIn that shows women are more likely to apply when they feel very confident they are qualified for a job. So that can have an effect on how many applicants of each gender are hired in the end. Definitely think it depends on field etc which gender might be favoured, but there are studies.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 09:43 AM
0

If it was once, potentially. If it was an affair or several times, definitely not
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 09:30 AM
1

Yeah, have been doing that quite a lot. My current partner is smart but I am still a little smarter. It's better this way, with smart academics I get too embarrassed about the inferiority of my research.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/22 09:57 PM
3

Definitely not. Rarely ever had a guy plan a very special date. It's mostly coming up with ideas together.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/22 08:57 PM
2

if a man doesn't want to pay for meals/dates until commitment hes insane? No one says that. Some might say he didn't seem gentlemanly or keen enough, but that's the extent of it. I also think a lot of women cook a meal for a guy they are dating, just the cleaning would be totally unreasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 06:42 AM
1

I have a thing for bald men, so for me it's bald with normal weight or fit > overweight with hair.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 08:10 AM
1

So true. I get my muscle exercise exclusively through yoga, which is not a lot at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/22 09:04 AM
2

Same strategy, got myself a partner with 3 cats.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 09:48 AM
4

Microplastic in the environment
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 08:49 PM
2

I am sorry that you struggle to find someone. I think the self-improvement is always worth it because a) it elevates you above those with similar looks and less strong personality and b) it would suck much more to be single while not having hobbies and friends. It's not a magic solution, it just increases your chances a bit and makes you more happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/22 06:08 PM
–

I think it's sad how these women seem to not have had any benefit from the relationship they were in. If a guy doesn't make me happy right now, I won't date him. If the relationship ends, I might be sad but still cherish the good time we spent together, which also made me who I am. Maybe they were the practice husbands?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 06:19 PM
1

Huh? My partner is pansexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 09:58 PM
1

Met him on Tinder, I have no idea how much he's desired by other women. He was married and he had a couple relationships before that. He had a couple dates before dating me. I have not seen him get approached IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 07:44 AM
1

Something like this would have been my answer too. I like men who are passionate about something, who are driven, a leader or expert at something. Often these things correlate with status and wealth, but not always. That's why I have been attracted to academics a lot, while my IT-ex with the moneys just couldn't hold my attraction because he didn't care about anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/22 05:00 PM
4

It's not really easy to navigate either. Even though there are lots of options for women, these only fit very specific body types as well. If your boobs are too big or too small, stuff doesn't work (blouses that create a massive gap between buttons on your boobs are the classic example). Depending on ratios of upper body to legs, high hip to low hip etc etc many skirts, dresses and trousers look ridiculous. I keep buying the same type of dress in different colours and patterns because it's one o…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/22 10:13 AM
1

I am 30, he is 40.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 08:54 AM
2

My partner trusts me with my male best friend. I hang out with him, sleep over at his place too (on the couch). Only once or twice a year though since we live in different countries. My partner is soon going on a trip to a different city with his female friend to go on a concert. I fully thought they would just stay together in one hotel room, but they actually booked two separate rooms which in my eyes is a waste of money! So we are just fine with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 08:10 AM
2

I have never been into bad boys. The only girl friend I have who dated bad boys really likes drama (but also is extremely romantic/sexual/affectionate, which probably makes her attractive).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/22 04:27 PM
0

That's actually how I did it (in Germany), I put my height into my profile and didn't really expect shorter men to swipe on me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 12:55 PM
1

Q4M in countries using the metric system: is there a 6ft equivalent that you come across (women talking about it, OLD profiles etc)?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 11:54 AM
4

I think it's hard to understand until you are in that situation. When I was raped in 2015, I was also deep in depression and had so many other worries that I was just completely overwhelmed and didn't even think about reporting it. I just wanted to forget about it. I don't think you should prosecute anyone without clear evidence, but I also understand why someone would not record evidence in that moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/22 10:38 PM
1

Either
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/22 02:30 PM
1

I have been that person for several years because my ex and I lived in a shared flat while he was dating a new girl. His parents adored me and would still ask if I would go out with them (+ex) for dinner whenever they were in town. I became friends with his new gf luckily, they broke up eventually though. Now after I moved abroad he and I are still very good friends, so I don't think this will ever stop for both of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/22 10:09 AM
9

Most people wouldn't have a threesome in a relationship because that will just cause anxiety, jealousy etc. I have mentioned a threesome to my partner but he has quite deep-rooted insecurities so it's not something he would want to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/22 09:38 AM
2

I dated someone who had quite a good income, he treated me very well (gifts, fancy dinners, weekend trip etc). Sadly his sexual performance wasn't really blowing me away. It was okay but not great. That and our humour incompatibility caused it to end.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 07:50 AM
2

In my case, I never really hated video games, but I hated the fact that my partner was ALWAYS home because that was his main hobby. I never had any alone time in our small flat. He studied mostly from home and didn't have a job, while I spent about 30h a week at university and worked outside as well. Whenever I came home, he was there. I am so grateful for the day he discovered weight lifting because he finally left the house.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 04:20 PM
2

Don't want to break anyone's heart.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 07:47 AM
6

Looking through the subs about relationships, wedding(shaming), AITA etc makes it obvious there are a lot of people dating (and marrying!!) people they don't like. It's just stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 10:29 PM
2

I would do it for myself first, if I come up as a likely cheater I better live that cat lady life with the occasional lover.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 10:25 PM
1

I was before the pandemic, 1,75m, 62kg, regular yoga, badminton and gym. Depression hit me hard and while the antidepressants helped get my life back on track they made me gain about 12kg (still have a good shape in general but just more chubby). I want to get back to my previous looks but I am finishing my PhD in 4 months so stress and overtime is stopping me currently from doing so.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 09:05 AM
2

how an interviewee tries to impress an employer. And this sucks as well to be honest. The employer should be trying to impress as well, finding a job should be about satisfaction of both parties. Wouldn't it be nice?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/22 10:05 AM
2

Q4M what's worse when dating women in their early 30's, when they already have children or the worry that they just want to quickly settle if they don't have any yet?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/22 12:48 PM
2

but she doesn’t seem to be acting the way they said she would. Any theories? NAWALT. Your relationship sounds similar to mine, though I am the woman. I am not model material but objectively more attractive than my partner I guess. He often says how he can't believe I am with him, while I am just really content with it. Yes his gut isn't super attractive and I wouldn't mind him being a little more exercised, but those are superficial unimportant things that haven't stopped me from having sex with…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/22 11:24 AM
1

I think it's great, similar to exhibitions etc it gives you stuff to talk about but also room to look around in silence to take a breather.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/22 11:06 AM
9

Doesn't even need to be something niche. I can recommend badminton. I have being playing relatively casually in the last couple years and the group shifts a lot, people dropping out, new people (friends/colleagues of current members) coming in. I started with colleagues and now it's a bunch of people I wouldn't have known else.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 10:14 AM
3

I had similar thoughts when I needed to decide if I go abroad for three-four years to do a PhD, because I also would have liked to find someone in my home country to settle down with. But chances are, this wouldn't have happend if I stayed. So I didn't sacrifice the career opportunity for a fantasy that might not come true. Do what makes you happy NOW.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 01:36 PM
1

No, my partner is 5'10.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/22 11:31 AM
2

Yes, my ex gained some weight and muscles and grew a full beard instead of just a goatee, after we broke up he also cut his long hair. All of that made him more attractive. Didn't stop me from falling out of love in the meantime sadly.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 08:42 PM
2

Then don't do it. Don't waste your time on people that don't add to your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 09:40 PM
1

You need to be happy without a relationship, especially since those you are having are also not making you happy. What are they adding to your live if they don't care about your feelings? "six years of work" who says anything about work? Live your life, get some hobbies, get to know new people. Have FWBs. And yes date, but don't make it a chore.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 09:42 AM
1

Then I think you should continue looking. Took me 6 years since my last relationship (which actually also sucked) to find a guy I am compatible with and who makes me happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 12:44 AM
2

I think trying to change a person's habits has a very slim chance to work. You should look for a woman who does these things from the start. Better single than in a crappy relationship. It's good that you know what you need in a relationship, so don't sell yourself short! There are women out there that can give you these things (but it might take a while to meet one).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 10:29 PM
1

Can recommend scrolling through this twitter account highlighting discrepancies in median hourly wage in companies/organisations
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 08:59 AM
2

My partner at 19yo was 1.98m, the chances to find someone that tall or more were basically non-existent haha. Every partner since then (casual or serious LTR) has been shorter, my current partner is 1.78m.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 12:35 PM
2

Would give that to a good friend as well, so absolutely yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 09:00 AM
7

My cat went through that one time after I adopted her, then I got her immediately spayed. That poor thing crying for sex and holding her butt up the whole time was just heartbreaking...
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 01:23 AM
1

Yeah I had that once in a while. With bumble too, I think they show the most swiped ones first to show you how great the app is and then days later you only get shit options.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/22 11:51 AM
4

I will repeat here what I have said before, I could not rank my sex partners (20ish) even if I would try. Those who I have been in a relationship with were all great, and I love my current sex life. Definitely couldn't tell you if my current partner is better than my ex from 6 years ago though.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 06:40 PM
36

Yall (talking about men now) underestimate abortions And probably pregnancy hormones too. I am so sure I would get an abortion, but I watched my sister being so touched and tearing up about EVERYTHING when she was pregnant, I think my brain might just think completely different once I would become pregnant.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/22 11:40 PM
2

Well then I use this place to cry about my ruined valentine's day. Was really looking forward to my first valentine's in over 6 years, just for me to test positive on the 'Rona that morning. Ugh. I am better now but we still can't see each other and we have lost one of our two sex weeks every month. 😡
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/22 12:37 AM
2

Online Dating is a really mixed bag. I think Tinder is just such a convenient way of getting to know people without a lot of effort, no matter what your intentions are (or even without specific intentions to just see what happens). I have dated at least one objectively acceptable HVM from Tinder. I am sure he would also find someone outside of OLD if he came across single women regularly, but probably just liked the convenience of Tinder. Especially if you are excluding the work place from your …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/22 12:33 AM
10

I have a similar aunt, nurse, mid 60s, was always involved in the life of her 7 nieces/nephews, takes care of her parents and always had some extra help for those in the family that needed some extra support (her sister after divorce, her nephew after he lost his job etc). She also has a bunch of friends, travels, has two cats and lives in a flat of a house she owns and rents out. I also think she would have liked a family of her own but she got her heart broken by an American soldier when she w…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/22 12:14 AM
1

Isn't one of that a man? 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 12:52 AM
3

I really want to make a fake male profile at some point just to explore what kind of women are on offer around here! Think it would look very similar
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 10:25 AM
1

Life could be worse!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 06:11 PM
–

I don't mind if people are entertaining several options, I personally rarely did that because I have limited time and energy for social interactions. So the most was chatting to two guys at the same time on bumble for a week.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 05:26 PM
1

And there are men who have other priorities than you and also take more of a risk than you when it comes to possible abnormalities in a baby. It's fine if you don't want that, then you are just not compatible with these women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 03:17 PM
1

The OP was about egg count. But even from the perspective of dating, risks etc there is no reason to exclude the option when dating at 35. Many couples want children sooner rather than later, it's part of their marital enjoyment. While the chances for a successful pregnancy with 36+ are not as great as with 30, they are still fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 02:43 PM
0

Definitely interesting perspective. I think I feel a lot of spontaneous sexual desire, which explains why rather than deciding to have casual sex with Chad because he's Chad, I just really wanted sex and looked for any good option while single. I was still more satisfied with FWBs than ONSs though, because of the quality. And you are right, I initiate sex quite frequently in my relationship now.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 01:12 PM
2

Why are there women 30-35 in this compilation at all? Even between 35-40 it's not terrible, it's just declining faster than before.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 01:00 PM
0

she mentioned shed never dated Could be a misunderstanding? Until a couple years ago I never "dated" despite having had partners because I fell from previous friendship into a relationship. Don't give up though, fingers crossed you'll get to date a nice girl soon.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 12:40 PM
2

Oh I laughed. Since he's pansexual, you think I could suggest a guy in his 20s? Win-win for 50him and 40me?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 05:37 PM
2

Keeping him will make me an even worse cat lady. He teared up the other day because there are so many cats in the shelter in our town. I started crying too. We will have 20 cats in our future!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 05:09 PM
2

Oh I don't think it matters at all, just thought PPD might find it funny. It crossed his mind and he made a joke about it. I like to joke about his age too.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 04:52 PM
3

He was saying it with a lot of laugh and giggles after making clear that it doesn't matter in any way. He is joking a lot so I didn't take it seriously at all, just surprised he even thought of it! When he turned 40 last year it didn't even cross my mind that I will never have sex with someone in their 30s again.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 04:42 PM
6

I turned 30 last week and my partner (40) said "I just realised that our last sex was the last time I had sex with someone in their 20s..." Am I being annoyed at him even thinking about the importance of age or do I think it's sweet that he's not expecting to sleep with someone else in the future? Hahaha
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 04:30 PM
3

I only do coffee dates as a first date for OLD. I don't know the person, why would I want to sit through dinner with someone I might not get along with? My partner and I had a coffee date that turned into coffee - walk - drink - more walk for 4 hours, after that he was more than invested. Meanwhile with others I was able to politely leave after an hour.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 11:49 AM
2

I am a libfem ho AND a Disney Princess haha. I had different types of sexual encounters, partners, FWBs, one night stands. I didn't experience the "attachment" through sex, I was either attached to the whole guy from the start or not. I can enjoy sex for what it is, and especially in times where I didn't feel a relationship was appropriate (studies abroad etc) it was a great thing. Once I am in love and in a relationship, I am really romantic. I am currently so disgustingly in love that past me …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/22 12:43 AM
3

Galentine's day with the girls in the Spa tomorrow. On valentine's I am cooking dinner for my partner of 8 months (cannelloni with spinach and ricotta). He'll bring drinks. I hope a little for flowers but I won't be mad if I don't get any, he spoiled me for my birthday last week.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/22 12:02 AM
2

I don't know about other women, but I could for the love of God not rank every single one of my sexual partners. I had 20ish and they fall into the categories bad, okay and great. I will only ever have a relationship with someone who's great, but ask me to compare my current partner to my ex from 6 years ago? No fucking clue who is better, it's just too long ago to find tiny differences that might put one in front of the other. I am absolutely happy and satisfied with my sex life right now as I …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 08:44 PM
2

Obviously he can, but it gives me reassurance when I meet a guy for the first time. A woman could also look good without having pictures in her profile, but I guess you would like to see some before meeting her.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 07:42 PM
2

A guy with 10k followers would be the same problem for me. What I find reassuring is a not really frequently visited Facebook or Instagram with 200-500 friends, pictures of cats, friends, hobbies and maybe some personality and political leaning shining through.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 10:38 AM
2

Would likely not be okay as a forever girlfriend. I would want to get married before buying a house together/having children/one person changing jobs/us moving cities. In all these situations one of us might make a big sacrifice for the relationship, and I wouldn't do that for a boyfriend. My partner and I are also foreigners that need permission to live and work in each others home country, so eventually marriage will make our life easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/22 10:54 AM
1

For me it has been either both want it or I won't have it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/22 09:42 AM
2

I definitely didn't like it as much in my early twenties while now I am quite indifferent to it. I think with 25 I stopped caring. But it might also have been the time where I stopped caring about always having perfectly shaved legs etc
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/22 09:19 AM
3

Living in Aberdeen, Scotland, I absolutely see the memes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/22 07:09 PM
2

It's not unattractive to me either, so I don't at all avoid looking at it. It's just not a part of him that makes me go "uh so sexy" but instead has a neutral position. Has been acceptable from the beginning.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/22 01:27 PM
1

I was a year on Sertraline(Zoloft), started late 2020 with 50mg then upped to 100 and it has been relieving. I didn't stress out as quickly, didn't cry constantly etc. But it also numbed the joy a little. Weaned myself of it last autumn because my life felt more stable and I am addressing the root problem of my struggles (an eating disorder). Feeling good now. It definitely has been the right choice for me to get through a difficult period of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/22 09:54 AM
3

Yeah I think you have a point there, I wouldn't call the body of my partner conventionally attractive while he thinks I am gorgeous, but I am absolutely happy with it. I am also very sexually attracted to him because the sex is just amazing, his face is handsome, he smells good and he has a lovely voice. But it's definitely not the belly that turns me on!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/22 09:42 AM
0

I think a lot of people are missing out on healthy dating and relationship experience because of fear. And fair enough if you had bad experiences, but the fear definitely keeps some from having good ones. I don't get the whole fear of divorce. The statistics (42% of marriages in UK) are not that terrible at all, if you are not making obviously stupid choices (like, marrying someone you don't love out of fear of being alone) the chances are high you make it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/22 10:46 AM
1

It's definitely tricky. To be honest, driving an hour to an airport and back, one ride alone, is something even my friends wouldn't just offer straightaway. Might be just my expectations but I think that's a favour that people ask for. But even if you then question it, it's hard to not accept! And it's hard to do nice things for male friends without fearing it sends the wrong signals. I once paid for a friend's ice cream when we got some and he thought that was a definite sign I wanted to date h…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/22 09:58 AM
1

Hahaha I am ashamed to say I could imagine that... Wouldn't want to lose the sex life I have at the moment, he would really have to massively fuck up for me to break it off.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 02:12 PM
2

There is a difference between feeling entitled to something and enjoying something. I don't feel entitled to have a man pay for me in any way, and I don't know any women who do outside of weird FDS circles. But I do enjoy it when my partner invites me for dinner to make me feel special. I did like him paying for coffee on the first date, I liked it so much that I got the second round. It's just acts of affection for most people.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 11:43 AM
4

I wouldn't say it that detailed. I stopped dating guys because their dick didn't do it for me, wouldn't tell them that either. Just saying that you don't see this developing into a relationship should be enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 11:35 AM
–

Yes with a loan, but since me and most of my millennial friends studied in Europe and don't have student loan debts it's probably easier for us to get a loan.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 06:57 PM
10

I dated a whole lot of men in their late thirties who were either divorced or split up from a LTR, and none of them thought there is no chance to fall in love again, and find the right person to marry. They will take their time picking though and not just jump into the first opportunity, which should be appreciated.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 05:55 PM
3

Wish you the best! I am turning 30 soon and my partner is 40, while timewise it would probably be best to start now I don't feel ready at all yet to let got of my freedom, and he also has some ambitions he wants to follow before it. So we will see if it works out in a few years. If not, we won't regret not starting earlier, we are just not in the right place now.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/22 04:19 PM
1

I think people are very different in that regard. I valued in my parents how they (mainly my father) made a decent living but never spent frivolously, so they could save money for a safety net, it went into my sister's and my education etc. And I notice I like similar behaviour in my partner, I really do like him inviting me for dinner but I like it even better if he finds a deal 2 for 1 or something like this. We like go out and treat ourselves we are also proud bargain hunters haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 11:55 PM
1

God Encanto had me going about 80% of the time. It was really exhausting, I had a headache afterwards!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 12:08 AM
–

Never said they are not sufficiently good looking? But if one guy hits that threshold and has great voice and humour, he is much more likely to hook up with me than a guy of better looks that I am chatting to on tinder. Which was the question of this thread. I am also pretty sure there have been studies pointing out the importance of male voice for attractiveness. I just can tell from my own experience that it definitely has an effect.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/22 12:13 PM
7

Was thinking the same. I get turned on so much by voice and humour, so having a quick chat at the bar has much more impact on me than any virtual flirt could have.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/22 07:10 PM
3

Aw man that sounds so unfair, I really hope she'll realize that eventually. My partner has a similar story with his (soon to be ex) wife. There were red flags before the marriage but after she really just gave up. Changed from full time to part time work in customer service, lost all her ambitions for doing artwork on the side, and then also stopped doing housework. Just glad they never had kids. She refused to leave their house that he's paying the mortgage for, so he eventually moved into a fl…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/22 01:03 PM
1

Many things, but here's one my friends made a lot of fun of: When they didn't crop their pictures. If you are that useless handling a phone, no thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/22 12:51 PM
2

All the time. I am still pretty sure I could have done my PhD in 3 years but I lost heaps of time by being anxious and distracting myself instead of just getting on with one of the multiple projects I am juggling. Have improved by giving me tiny tasks to accomplish instead of "write chapter draft", "prepare presentation". Now it's more like "reply to this email" hahaha
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/22 11:08 AM
2

I caught a mean cold from my nephew or my sister. He's 2 and frequents a nursery, my sister is a pediatrician, so they are both walking viral dispensers. We all tested negative for COVID (daily testing), but what ever else I had gave me the snottiest nose and a brutal headache during the holidays. Couldn't get drunk on mulled wine :(
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/21 09:35 PM
2

Totally agree. My partner is a proud cat dad of three! I initiated our conversation on Tinder by asking about his cats. Nothing better to hit it off.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/21 06:41 PM
2

Thanks for the tip!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 11:58 PM
1

Again why does a single person need an entire house? Because you would like a house and make your own decisions about it? I am 29 and would like a place where I can have pets without asking, can change the interior design, can have my own little garden etc
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 11:28 AM
1

Dont move the goal post. The question you LITERALLY used was, what are you thinking. In my first comment I already put it into the context to not be a random question, but about a topic being discussed. Every story between two people is half the story, what do you expect to hear when the OP asked what our struggles in dating were?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/21 05:16 PM
0

How is talking about thoughts "being a woman". As an example, I asked a guy that I had been dating for 2 months how he felt about meeting my parents on my birthday, and he couldn't voice his thoughts. He could have said anything like "I think it's too early", "I worry that me agreeing to this raises your expectations" or whatever, so that we decide if we want to take that step. But he just said "I don't know". He didn't share any thoughts. I asked him two days later, still nothing. I told him no…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/21 01:23 AM
5

I struggled when dating men because many were not emotionally open (=/= available). They just wouldn't answer any deeper questions about feelings, thoughts etc. I know it's a trope, women asking "What are you thinking?", but I honestly struggled to have any deeper conservations with guys because they would distract from topics, stay silent or just say "I don't know". I am not a judgemental person and also don't like confrontation/fights, so I didn't understand why guys I had been dating for seve…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 03:25 PM
0

F, 29, I had PIV sex for the first time with 16 with my boyfriend at the time. We only lasted a couple of months, but we are on good terms and still have a little chat whenever I come back to my home town and run into him.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 09:15 AM
1

They don't always check for everything, so you might need to ask specifically for it. Can recommend googling the names and values you have on it to understand them. Vitamin d production is variable amongst people and can be low despite sun exposure in some cases, so might be worth checking. Forgot to mention iodine as possibility as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 11:09 PM
1

I am a postgrad in biology, it sucked to lose a couple months before I could go back in the lab but I really felt for the undergrads. The first years struggled to find friends, there was this whole scandal with secret parties in their halls that led to lots of infections, but I just couldn't be mad at them. The older years couldn't do lab projects, all honour's theses had to be desk-based. So ruined not only their social life but also their career prospects.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 02:32 PM
2

Many reasons to feel that way, I had to learn it. Iron or vitamin d deficiency are common ones, especially with iron I feel it. But also constantly being preoccupied with stuff has that effect. I know now that I have to take proper long holidays because I need a couple days to stop thinking about my work, and then the actual resting time sets in. I would start by getting some blood work done to check you are getting all needed nutrients.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 02:25 PM
1

That was a few years ago. I guess he just wasn't that into me, though I didn't feel he was maliciously stringing me along. I think he didn't know what he wanted, but who knows. I asked him not to contact me anymore eventually.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 04:31 PM
1

Neither me nor my friends experienced that. I only was kind of... fuckzoned(?) for a while when I dated a guy for 4 months who basically pretended to want a relationship with me but constantly backed out of commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/21 09:16 PM
3

Nothing wrong with it on the first date. I dated two men from tinder more seriously in the last couple years and both times we started out with coffee and a walk (one time beach, one time park). Both times it extended into a several hour thing, getting a drink after etc. That's the nice thing about a casual first meeting, you can leave quickly if you don't click or you can continue with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/21 09:09 AM
3

This is just a rule at one association that offers assistance in suicide (there are three in Germany). Since their "service" includes physical contact/comforting etc they implemented this rule. One can also ask a doctor to get the medication, they probably won't hold hands.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/21 01:44 AM
2

Before the pandemic, I was still quite optimistic regarding my love life. I had been single for almost 5 years but I had like short term relationships and dated so at least I got out there (and had sex once in a while). During the early stages of the pandemic I got very frustrated because I couldn't meet friends/family or date for a while. Depression and eating disorder got a strong hold of me and discovering Reddit as a pastime honestly re-enforced my sudden pessimism regarding love-life, my bo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/21 12:30 AM
2

They were a part of my life for a long time. They know things about me no one else does, I know them in a way no one else ever could. I loved my exes. I still care about them as people, they were a big part of my life once upon a time. Our time here is short. Yes to all this, I think the same. I am so surprised how easily people cut out ex-partners even though the break-up wasn't dramatic or anything. My partners were my favourite person at the time, I like to know they are happy. I am also stil…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/21 09:39 AM
2

I am really struggling with that. Still open to have children but I am afraid I will feel guilt about bringing them into a world that's pretty much doomed.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/21 08:29 AM
36

Over time, some punishments developed into no more than a teasing game. In some parts of Germany, for instance, men who were still unmarried by their 30th birthday were made to sweep the stairs of the town hall until kissed by a "virgin" They have the same for women, if they are unmarried by thirty they have to go clean doorknobs. In Denmark you sprinkle cinnamon on unmarried 25yo no matter the gender. That's not a bachelor focused game.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 09:25 AM
2

There is a difference between objective and subjective attractiveness. We might know he's not everyone's cup of tea but we are still completely smitten with him. One of my exes was a metal head with long hair, goatee, band shirts etc etc. Absolutely not my and my friends' vibe. They would make fun of his looks. But didn't matter to me, I still thought he was very handsome because to me he just was.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/21 11:39 AM
15

This one is for the for the girls: a better metric of measuring female attractiveness is not how many guys hit you Thank god, no guy ever hit me and I started thinking I am ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/21 11:17 AM
1

But for me it’s a turn off. That's not an elaborate reasoning either, so why are you asking women for their reasoning? It's just preference in most cases. My boyfriend is bi/pan so I seem to like them.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/21 09:25 AM
2

It's an anatomical fact. The cervix contracts and helps the sperm travel into the uterus.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 09:43 AM
3

4 inch stilettos Not sure if towering over 90% of the men living here while fighting my way over the cobble stone of my district would do anyone any good...
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 07:20 AM
3

You are going the right way my friend. Get yourself a shelter cat in need of a home! Also, for cats height is super important and can make up for a small place. I have tall shelves and even a ladder for mine so she can climb around. Give them nice places in front of the window so they can watch "cat tv".
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 07:07 AM
2

I liked it as a movie, but yeah I missed the Bond vibes. And as a geneticist I was cringing a lot...
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 07:01 AM
3

A female orgasm helps to get pregnant, so if men would give any shit about their evolutionary history like TRP claims they would care about their partner's pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 07:00 AM
5

If she SAYS you're husband material but: She enjoys being around you but not to the degree of enthusiasm she shows for other guys Then she didn't mean Husband Material FOR HER. I think a lot of confusion about the term comes from the fact that women will call male friends husband material even if they themselves are not interested, they just think he deserves a nice wife because he would be a good husband. I have male friends calling me "a catch" etc while knowing they themselves don't want a re…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 06:56 AM
2

I think both wife and husband material look very different to different people. Settling for someone you don't really want (=/= compromising) is stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 06:49 AM
1

The bald guy with the tie is right up my street.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 07:24 PM
1

They don't need it but I think everyone, man or woman, will prefer a partner whose financially stable.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 04:22 PM
1

Okay I don't know why "Husband material" is the new trend discussion, but we found out in different comment sections that many women see this term as "attractive/very fuckable AND a lovely person to spend your life with". I am very sure most women 30+ want a husband that's attractive, nice as well as financially stable (which is a betabux trait I guess), and that would be the best status symbol as well. I think if women settle for either an obvious betabux or an attractive bum, neither are a gre…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 07:34 AM
3

Once you get used to it it's quite easy to not include meat. I plan my meals around the vegetables or the carb component. And if it fits, I add a protein rich ingredient, like chickpeas, lentils, edamame, tofu, soy chunks, beans (love haricot) etc. Treat myself to pre-made stuff at times, like veggie sausages, vivera bacon and burger patties. But it's not everyone's cup of tea.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 06:39 PM
2

It's brought up a lot. And I have written before, in my personal experience I don't remember sex that well. I categorise sex in bad, okay, great. Okay has been good enough for some situationships, but great is the minimum for a relationship. I honestly can't remember if the sex with my former boyfriends was better or worse than the sex with my current boyfriend. I am super happy with my current one, he's #18. I hope he'll be the last.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 08:52 AM
2

I have done it even while I wasn't in a relationship. If I have a single guy and girl friend who I think could work I went out for drinks with both or made a point of introducing them on my birthday parties etc. I caused two FWB-situations and a male virgin to get kissed by my hot friend, at least something?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 08:36 AM
1

no humour/only humour is to make fun about me or other people doesn't care about mental health/wouldn't go to therapy eats a lot of meat doesn't like cats bad sex isn't into physical contact/cuddling etc doesn't want to get married doesn't like going for walks slimmer and/or shorter than me loves cars
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/21 10:57 AM
2

Don't know about sizeable inheritance. I know I will only have kids when I will be able to support them through their higher education (if they choose to go that path) and I want to have a house, so they would inherit that. My parents helped me through university, I don't expect any more from them. Edit: just adding that they will either study in Scotland or Germany, which is cheap (no tuition for undergrads in Scotland, none at all in Germany).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/21 10:05 AM
3

Yeah seriously I was a little hurt being 29
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 11:04 AM
1

I like a guy to be 6'2 - 6'3. But my partner is 5'10 and that's nice as well. Just not sure yet if I'll ever get out my 13cm heels with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 11:01 AM
1

Nah, it's more like "let's get people a better defense so the innocent ones won't get jailed as often"
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 09:09 AM
1

I don't know how exactly parental leave is in Scandinavian countries, but in Germany you get only 60% of your usual salary, capped at 1800€ a month. My sister is a doctor who usually would make more than double that and lives in an expensive city. She and her husband were really worried because they would struggle to pay rent and insurances with that pay cut. Parental leave is still very variable and could be optimised.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 08:40 AM
5

I cheated before, when I should have broken up. I had a rough time while working abroad and my boyfriend didn't support me, refused to talk on Skype with me "because he didn't have time", so our conversations were basically 3 Facebook messages a day for a month (I only had some WiFi for an hour or so every day). I really struggled, and a colleague was very supportive and caring. My boyfriend even came to that place later on but could not handle my depression that had developed, completely distan…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 08:30 AM
1

I know some people that are very committed without wanting to get married. A friend's boyfriend is one of them, they have been together 5 years and are building a life together, he just moved 370km for a new job to be closer to her, he's looking for houses they can buy together. He just has an aversion to marriage after seeing his parent's divorce. She will have to decide if that's okay for her or not. I also find it difficult to put a timeline on it. I know several couples that have been togeth…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 08:20 AM
1

Can only speak for me, but I care more about my partner being smart and inspiring to talk to than about him having a degree. I am doing my PhD while my partner didn't graduate from university. But he's incredibly knowledgeable and smart, and we have very similar values on life, which makes him a great partner to me. He's in retail and makes enough to live decently and pay a mortgage, but it's tight at times. I think we work because I was raised to not spent unnecessary amounts of money, my paren…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/21 09:56 AM
1

Romantic liking: Between my last ex and the first guy I liked were 2½ years. Between that guy (we didn't become a couple) and my now boyfriend were 3 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 09:53 AM
–

He's absolutely unable to laugh about himself and gets incredibly butthurt.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 10:53 AM
–

Get into baking and open a German-style bakery in my town in Scotland where you can buy nice crunchy bread rolls with more diverse fillings than egg mayo, freshly baked soft pretzels etc. All to prices that students and working people can get a somewhat healthy snack. In my dreams it would be a charity shop where you "pay what you can".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 09:27 AM
–

For me it has to be a man's ability to laugh at himself without getting angry/butthurt about it. I see you haven't met my ex.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 08:41 AM
1

I had several first dates going for a walk, it's actually nice if you have a pretty environment. My boyfriend and I chatted for 4 hours straight walking around (though we did grab a coffee in between). Guess I will never move to Houston, sounds like a terrible place.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 06:56 AM
3

F1 🤯 In my own country 2nd. Wow I am tall...
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 06:42 AM
3

pointed out that it’s a modern thing and men did just fine without them before smartphones Apart from the fact that nudes are not a thing of the digital age (just a reminder of Jack drawing Rose on Titanic), that's not a reason to not do it. Are women supposed to also never use vibrators because they are able to masturbate without and it's a "modern thing"?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 10:40 AM
4

That wasn't the question, when I said fantasize I meant without media. And how do you know they can't do it without? I can masturbate by fantasizing but also like to look at pictures of my partner when I get into it. Why is one better or worse than the other when he's able to do both?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 10:09 AM
5

But why is it more problematic that a guy looks at an intimate picture of his partner while masturbating than if he would fantasize about... Whatever, could be other women for all we know.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 09:50 AM
2

I thinks it's totally fair for a guy to be more cautious regarding wedding/starting a family after breaking up, since he learned that it's not always "forever". If the woman wants to start a family sooner than he does, that's a dealbreaker and something to discuss in the beginning of the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 07:46 AM
5

A lot of "effeminate" traits are conducive to friendship: being emotionally sensitive, agreeable, affectionate. Men are afraid of coming off as gay or effeminate so they aren't as intimate in their male friendships. Men need to get better at this (stop judging other men). My male best friend is very vulnerable and emotional but only in front of me. It has nothing to do with women or men's sexual success with them, it's a problem among men. Thankfully it starts to be discussed more, we have a gro…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 07:16 AM
2

I would be surprised for sure because I don't know guys wearing thongs. But whatever he is comfortable in. If I don't care about his Star Wars boxers I probably won't care about him wearing thongs.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 12:04 PM
3

I struggle to see the likelihood since my boyfriend mostly wears nerdy underwear. There is not enough space for StarWars prints on thongs.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 09:04 AM
4

My boyfriend will tell me I look beautiful in anything I wear, but if I am not happy with it I will change. I hate how some guys think we are doing everything to please them. Some are more comfortable than others, just like bras. That's exactly the thing with all garments. I actually wear black bikini mid rise panties, found a comfortable sitting one and only ever buy the same type from the same brand.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 12:13 PM
3

https://imgur.com/a/TmyDnOJ
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 11:54 AM
2

https://imgur.com/a/TmyDnOJ
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 11:54 AM
27

I don’t care if men don’t care about panty lines in whatever it is I’m wearing, I care. Exactly this.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 11:49 AM
3

Because I needed support and affection and my boyfriend didn't give it to me, instead he treated me badly. Kissing my (very supportive and lovely) colleague while still in a relationship was wrong, I should have broken up before that happend. But I still loved my bf and didn't want to let go of hopes and dreams that we can work it out. I am ashamed it happend (2015) but I have made peace with myself about it by now.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 10:26 AM
1

In my closest circles (30ish people) zero, four might be a little overweight. In my final year in school we had two girls that could classify as obese. My parents were overweight, at some point my father might have been obese, now they are doing quite well.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/21 08:02 AM
14

OP wants to be loved for just existing instead of being a person worth loving.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/21 03:11 PM
1

Obviously not all of them, exactly how also not all men are going to the gym and take care of their looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 01:55 PM
1

Well if anecdotal evidence is useful, I go to a weekly body pump class which has only 1-2 guys there and the rest women. And that's not "moving around a little bit" (My glutes hurt with soreness as I am typing). Neither are our vinyasa yoga classes, though there you obviously can be more relaxed if you want to. I won't deny that likely men often do more exhausting exercise etc, but the commentator acted as if women don't exercise at all and don't put effort into their looks long-term.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 10:11 AM
0

Some statistics on gym goers And don't tell me classes don't count.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 09:56 AM
3

Yeah porn can be helpful, especially when you are older I think, but it fails to educate on the most important things in teenage years: contraception, female cycle, STDs.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 09:43 AM
2

I agree. I worked as a volunteer for our church community meeting with a girls group once week, I did that from age 14-18 and the girls (same over the years) started at 9 so grew to 13. Though we mostly would just do fun stuff, there came a point where they asked questions about sex. And I was really happy they confided in me, so I could tell them honestly and openly about love, sex, contraception, female cycle etc. I got most of that education from my older sister. Many people don't have anyone…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 09:41 AM
1

Good bot. Wish I would have seen that before aggressively tapping OP's link 20 times before it opened.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 09:30 AM
0

Yeah your 15 minutes of painting your face is surely more effort than going to the gym every day for years Women go to the gym as well. They are also dieting, trying to stay on top of the latest fashion, haircuts etc etc. Don't tell me that long-term guys put so much more effort into looks. Women basically can't stop thinking about their looks because society tells them that's the only thing important.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 08:50 AM
1

I don't know where you saw the term "multiple paternity" in this context, but it's usually defined as offsprings of one litter having different fathers, or one offspring having the DNA of several (chimera). It's not really used to describe that several men assume they are the father, if you have a source I would love to read about that!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 11:13 PM
1

Yeah we had this going on in our circle. I dated/had sex/a relationship with three guys that are friends. My ex has dated two of my girl friends, is now FWB with one. I don't see the problem, if they make each other happy they should go for it. But breakup reasons and length of relationship play a role (I wouldn't date my best friends ex of 13 years).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 11:10 AM
1

Might be, but not necessarily more that are interested in/suitable for a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 06:40 AM
1

I was open to date 1-2 years down but among those I already wasn't really attracted to their looks and maturity level, so didn't try lower.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 03:57 PM
1

No worries, fair question
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 09:44 AM
2

Because my family lives there and I would want their support when I am pregnant and have a young child. Pay is better which might be needed for a family, and maternity/paternity leave is also better there.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 09:38 AM
4

I see a lot of truth in this. I missed a good window of 23-26 years old by being abroad a lot, and suddenly it felt like there are only a few single men left that are relationship material at all. The dating pool was really small and I didn't find a match in my age group. I had to make use of the guys re-entering the market, at 27 I had a short term relationship with one guy, 39, who had been divorced for half a year when we met. Now I am in a relationship with someone, also 39, who has been sep…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 08:48 AM
2

I am 29F and now freshly in a relationship after being kind of single for 6 years (had some STRs/FWBs in between). My requirements were: smart/educated stable carrer-wise/financially ambitious same height or taller somewhat fit/okay body (Not overweight, not skinny, not bulked) lots of humour communicative, can talk about emotions and thoughts cat lover progressive /left connected to nature and environment open to eat mostly vegetarian/vegan open to live in Germany if we have kids It definitely …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 08:29 AM
8

Yeah I would never expect that on a first OLD date. I only did coffee/walks for first dates so far to see if we vibe at all, meeting in person is just so different than texting. If he starts putting in effort after that, that's the good sign.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 08:14 AM
6

For me it was definitely related to my dating pool that I somehow ended up dating guys 5-10 years older than me. In my age (29) most people are just already in relationships. I kind of missed a good window to find someone by travelling a lot for internships etc between 23-26, and suddenly there were only a few single men left. And out of those, many are either not relationship material or commitment phobes. There are for sure some suitable singles my age but I didn't find a good match among the …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 08:00 AM
2

Damn did you want her to leave the group? Kind of at the time because she often was really, really annoying. But she actually changed a lot on the following year and she's a good friend now. Did his girlfriends or your boyfriends ever have an issue with it? His new girlfriend wasn't a fan first but then we got really close and actually hung out a lot. My new boyfriend shortly after was also not super excited about it but it turned out later that he had extreme insecurities that also lead to lots…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 03:28 PM
2

Got one with my 3 "girls" from school, but there is another group of us, our male friends and the (long-term) partners. With another circle I only have the one group where partners are added after 1-2 years. We actually had that awkward moment where one couple split up and she just didn't leave the group, that was 2018! She's just part of the group and activities now haha. And I am myself an ex who stuck around in that group (though my ex is my best friend so a little less weird).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 03:16 PM
2

In my closest friend circle right now, once every 2-4 weeks. When I was younger (more time, more socializing) pretty much once every week. Sure, but not necessarily invite in person, they will mostly tell me "ask bf to come as well". The long-term partners of friends were eventually included in WhatsApp groups etc. I think everyone is different in that regard, and I don't mind a lot. I have many friends I only ever see with their partner. I like occassional one-on-one time with my closest friend…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 03:02 PM
–

Far from it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 12:30 PM
1

The issue I see with a lot of perpetually single people is that they bolt as soon at the honeymoon phase ends or things get slightly hard. Everyone ends up being just not quite good enough. Yeah that's obviously taking it to an unrealistic extreme. But these perpetually single people are not a big part of married couples I would think.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 12:27 PM
2

I don't think it's that common because who the f has time for that. People have work, hobbies and friends, I had one first date a month perhaps. Only people I have seen doing it were guys in college who were living on their parent's money.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 10:20 AM
8

You make a good point. I feel like people are ignoring what actually causes divorce: people not being happy/satisfied in their marriage. There are so many different reasons for that to happen, why try to pinpoint it to ONE specific statistic. Instead of trying to find a partner that suits them and work on making each other happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 10:07 AM
4

Personally I think more sex/relationship partners often means more informed about different options out there and what the person wants in a marital partner. If you know and are confident in what you want, it's much easier to get out of a crappy marriage. 80% sounds high though, but that number could be pulled from thin air as far as we know since the study cited isn't providing that figure.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 10:01 AM
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I mentioned yesterday how my new guy might be insecure about my ex because my ex gave me advice about investing money. Turns out that wasn't the reason at all, he just wanted to learn more about the situation/friendship with my ex. He actually encouraged me to ask my ex for advice in any matters if he has the needed knowledge. We had that good talk, his mood improved and then we had great sex. Crisis averted
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 09:13 AM
0

Because we were not compatible. A lot about his person turned me off, we were too different in political and world views, interests etc. He's a great friend but I just didn't feel very attracted to him most of the time. (He's a Chad by this sub's standards by the way)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 11:47 AM
2

At the time they were getting food from the woman they are married to.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 11:40 AM
4

That's the great thing about cats, they are not insecure about the cat I cuddled 7 years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 11:35 AM
2

He's friends with his ex too. I dead-bedroomed my ex and then lived with him for 5 years in a shared flat without us ever touching again, so new guy needs to trust me there if he wants a relationship...
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 11:32 AM
1

Haha yeah I guess for some. He's friends with his ex too, we are both just very friendly people...
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 11:30 AM
1

I think I made a faux pas by telling my new partner that I talked with my ex (who's also my best friend) about investing money for the first time. New guy has no experience in trading (as he doesn't really have the means), my ex does. New guy told me just now he feels insecure in regards to my ex. Is money man's sore spot?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 10:26 AM
1

Hell, just being in her presence brightens my mood. Good way to put it. My new guy tells me spending time with friends costs him energy and he needs to recharge in between, but spending time with me is recharging. PPDs problem is that ya'll keep trying to date complete strangers that you don't have a connection with. All this HV/LV crap, generalizations, ect. I think you have a good point here, though dating strangers can work if you don't go in with lots of expectations and just see if you conn…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 07:40 AM
2

Another black void
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 12:18 AM
–

I totally get that that's a concern, but then men need to stop talking about "n-count" and talk about "women who seem to not like relationships" or something. N-count is not always indicative in that regard, especially not in the low numbers discussed here (I mean, guys talk about <5 as threshold here, we are basically not even allowed to have a rebound when a guy breaks up with us).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 11:44 PM
0

We are talking about people having hobbies here, not about experiencing discrimination etc. And I never said that lesbians are exactly the same as straight women, obviously they are not, I said they still are women and represent women.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 08:24 AM
1

Slightly off-topic, but I think a lot of people underestimate how you just don't "feel it" sometimes. I have had dates with lovely good-looking guys but there was just no chemistry. Since it's mostly felt mutually there is no harsh "rejection", it's just decided we won't see each other again. So I guess that's why it seems lots of rejections are happening between people that are in different leagues, as those between looks-matched people are more about chemistry.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 11:36 PM
4

Yes that's fine and makes sense, but my point is that a gay man is still a man and a lesbian woman still a woman and representing the gender. I wouldn't tell my lesbian friend "you have a male brain/you don't have a female brain", I would say "your brain has similar traits to that of a straight man". It's just about inclusion for me and not shaming people for being interested in something "because it's not supposed to be for their gender".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 11:24 PM
3

No person is exactly the same. There might be differences in frequency of activities between sexualities, but that's about it. My lesbian friend is sewing and crocheting all day, does that make her less lesbian? No. But she's also not less a woman than I am because she doesn't get excited about dick. How you like to love, spend your free time and talk to people doesn't define you as either man or woman just because one gender might have more of a tendency to exhibit those traits.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 11:07 PM
6

Same reason you don't take a butch lesbian's view for what 'women' do. Not everyone does that. I never in my life have seen my lesbian friends as less female or not representative of my gender. Maybe straight men could start doing that as well instead of bullying other boys in school when they have female hobbies (NAMALT of course but... Many are).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 10:17 PM
–

The male is vastly different from that of the female experience, at all ages. In what way is it different before puberty apart from outside treatment that could technically be the same if people wouldn't know your gender? What exactly will the transitioning people not experience which is so essential to be part of one gender?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 10:07 PM
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I don't mind them, trans women are women. I have no idea what the rules regarding competitive sport is, I would expect some bodily transition regarding hormones etc? Couldn't care less about pageants in general but don't see any reason for trans women not to take part. I actually think it's great one won it, it showcases the confidence people can gain through transitioning and finally being in a body that feels right to them. I honestly am not even sure what you mean by male experience from birt…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 09:56 PM
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It's just sad. In Germany gynecologists aren't supposed to tell parents the sex anymore before the 12th week of pregnancy is over to avoid gender-based termination.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 06:48 PM
2

I see vetting as determining if they fulfill a (realistic) minimum of traits needed for a successful relationship. If no one reaches that threshold, better stay single.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/21 03:14 PM
2

Hahaha yeah that's it. Sorry this evening very important business came up, namely wrapping myself into a blanket and cuddle my cat.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/21 02:55 PM
9

There is always a chance, and there are quite a lot of people who want to live child-free lives these days. Apparently 20% of British women don't have children in their 40s for example. Just make sure you are stating you want to live a child-free life.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/21 10:57 AM
5

I don’t have enough time for the friends that I do like so I can’t imagine having time for people that I don’t like This, seriously! I am somewhat of an introvert and get incredibly exhausted from socializing, so I would never use the needed energy for people I don't like.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/21 10:32 AM
0

Enjoy :)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/21 10:47 AM
2

Or he didn't behave like an ass in the beginning of the relationship and now she's kinda stuck, or she is actually the bully and he spoke up for the first time. We will never know.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/21 10:40 AM
8

Yesterday a woman was sitting at the table next to me in a café and fought with her SO on the phone. Half of the time she wasn't able to say a whole sentence because he just kept interrupting her and ignoring her plea to discuss it later when they see each other. She said it's so obvious he doesn't give a shit about her feelings and that he only ever does the bare minimum. She hung up and continued sticking ultrasound pictures in a photo album.... Boy I hope that fetus is not theirs.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/21 08:37 AM
0

That he likes his ex' cooking and baking more than mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/21 11:06 AM
3

Doesn't necessarily mean anything bad. Have been dating a great guy for 7 weeks now and I sometimes feel like saying it. I hold back because it seems so early but it almost slipped a few times. If you think it's going too fast, talk to her about it. Communication makes or breaks a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 08:34 AM
4

Always happy for people joining me on that path
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 12:03 AM
–

I guess it's more about a pressure women feel from media than what guys actually find attractive. Tons of skin products out there are suggesting that having an uneven skin is something terrible. (Well-) photoshopped pictures of stars on Instagram and in magazines tell them what is apparently "normal"/attractive. It might also be more about hiding perceived flaws than loving the end result of filters.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 12:24 AM
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I mean, she just came back from that rehab trip after which they all were hitting the pillow shouting how strong they are and that they deserve to be loved, maybe she's still on that high haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/21 01:07 AM
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Yeah just saw that scene. She said he's just poisoning himself, and should start loving himself. Good advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/21 12:58 AM
–

Have been binge-watching How to get away with Murder and suddenly there is an episode about an incel! They show the forum with users called "Redpill..." and "Looksmaxx..." ahahahaha. Would have never understood that without PPD. <3
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/21 12:51 AM
1

I don't fit the brief 100% but I have experienced being somewhat invisible. I am relatively average for my home country Germany (blond, tall, normal weight, normal face), but I am somewhat plain in appearance. Rarely use makeup, eye-catching fashion or jewellery. When I went out to bars and clubs, I rarely would get hit on. I had to initiate everything, and some light IOIs wouldn't do it. I had to go up to guys and chat/dance with them etc (alcohol helped me a lot with that ..). My relationships…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 11:01 AM
6

I can't see the described dynamics in real life either, I assume now it's a more American or really just a internet thing. After reading in this sub for almost 1½ years during lockdown and not dating I was a little bit worried, but then I had a handful first dates with very normal guys and just found a new partner who's great.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 10:38 AM
2

I assumed she meant she teaches at college and gradschool or similar. I think it very much depends on subject/field if that shows more competence or maybe a specialisation in a specific field. But maybe she'll correct me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 10:30 AM
4

She's a lecturer at master's level = teaches master's students.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 10:14 AM
2

Depression and eating disorder represented as well!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 11:08 PM
1

Where did I say I wouldn't fuck him casually?! I initiated sex on the second date hahaha
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 01:58 PM
1

Attraction is more than just looks. For me it's the combination of his face, voice, smell, personality. I am very attracted to my boyfriend, but not based on solely his looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 01:50 PM
1

Obviously it's important to be somewhat physically attracted to the person. But having a handsome face is not nearly enough to compromise on everything else. I have dated handsome tall men but didn't pursue it because of lack of humour, bad sex or political views.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 11:21 AM
–

I definitely am excited about space exploration as the next person, but looking at the absolute mess the earth is in I personally would prefer investments into that (green energy, public transport, food security etc). And I don't think that just about Bezos, I am thinking the same about Mars exploration.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 07:00 AM
0

Guess you are controlling and untrusting as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 09:01 PM
0

I hang out drunk with a bunch of male friends all the time without anyone having sexual motivation. In friendship gender doesn't matter. If A barely knew any of them it might be odd, but I would think she has come across her friend's friends before. And why jumping to sexual assault is also completely crazy, she trusts at least her friend A, why should she (or K for that matter) not trust his friends? K seems to be controlling and didn't trust her or her friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 08:53 PM
1

Doesn't the average couple get together in college when both barely make money? Again, neither me or my friends have ever taken that into consideration to choose who to have sex with. original question I posed You were asking about sexuality, not about reasons why women might choose a relationship partner (since you don't consider casual sex)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 07:42 PM
1

Having sex for the sex can happen with a partner, believe it or not there are relationships in which people have and like sex with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 07:32 PM
1

I didn't mention casual sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 07:25 PM
1

I would hope for the majority of average women. I consider myself and my friends pretty average and we don't consider sex to be something to use as leverage or reward. We enjoy sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 07:00 PM
1

Would you say that there's an implicit element of prostitution or pay 4 play in women's sexuality - yes or no? No, because women can have sex with no other motivation than wanting sex. There are additional motivations to have sex or refuse sex, but it doesn't change that you can also have sex just for the sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 01:58 PM
1

Yeah it sadly happens. I chat friendly with co-workers, I laugh at jokes (how dare I) and several times someone asked me out and was shocked when I declined because "I have been so nice". I also have been on about three "dates" without realising they were dates. Apparently I can't drink an instant coffee with a co-worker in the lunchroom without romantic interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 01:36 PM
0

Oh god both of those scenarios sound absolutely harmless, their boyfriends must be super insecure to make a thing out of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 01:23 PM
1

"Personality traits that predict a man will get cheated on (sample size = 717) - The MIDUS Study asked respondents if their spouse had ever been unfaithful." More like it predicts if men find out/get told they were cheated on depending on how they see themselves. Don't think that's a well thought-through study.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 11:54 AM
1

I was drunk and horny on my BIL's birthday party. I went to him and asked who on that party is single. He pointed at one guy saying that's pretty much the only one. I thought "that'll do", went over, flirted, we made out, I was happy enough with that to go home with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 11:23 AM
1

Do you even know what pregnancy does to women's body? Your abdominal muscles separate permanently. Oftentimes you lose bladder control. Sometimes they have to cut the perineum to allow the child to get out. Many women get dental problems (losing teeth), varicose veins or hemorrhoids. Up to 10% get gestational diabetes. My sister had a quite common problem that made her whole body itch for the last two months of pregnancy. There is postpartum depression. Your orgasms can get weaker. These things …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 11:17 AM
2

The man I am with now is shorter than what I would normally go for, I like to be smaller than men in heels but he's only an inch taller than I am. He also doesn't have higher education which was something I was looking for, but mostly because I used it to filter out men who don't understand or care about the science I am working in. But he's really smart, he just wasn't able to afford getting a degree. Since he's absolutely lovely, funny, great in bed, a catdad and has a handsome face I am happy…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 10:56 AM
1

manosphere men Not the men most women are interested in.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 10:34 AM
5

I am happy with the rest of my figure (BMI 21, somewhat fit), and targeted reduction doesn't work.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 02:47 PM
9

He can do what feels right for him, I'll support him. If I ever have enough disposable income I'll get lipo suction on my lower back, and I would want him to support me even though he would find it silly.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 11:58 AM
1

It's the cashier whispering to the guy to shake the hand because having an imaginary friend is a normal part of childhood development.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 12:25 PM
1

This is why I thinks it's good to give incentives for living a healthier life. In Germany you'll have to pay part of your dental stuff later in life, but it gets cheaper the more regular you go to preventive dental care. The health insurances offer reduced rates on exercise etc, I got a weekly yoga class 9 months for free. There should be rewards for taking part in healthy diet courses etc. There are lots of people who are sadly not that smart, or ended up in a unfortunate situation leading to m…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 12:06 PM
1

Just giving examples of possible different causes for Billie's behaviour.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 11:31 AM
1

Correlation is not causation.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 11:21 AM
1

The more partners a woman has the less suitable she is for being a wife. That doesn't even need to have too much to do with it. It's a woman settling into marriage with a guy she doesn't really want. That can be her first or her 30th. I wouldn't be surprised if Billie would have been unhappy marrying her husband as a virgin, because he still wouldn't satisfy her sex drive. My best friend just broke up with her bf of 13 years because he didn't satisfy her sexually, he was her first. Lots of peopl…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 11:18 AM
1

I agree completely.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 11:06 AM
2

I don't think generally women do either. Why the fuck would you. That sounds miserable I would think so too, but I guess there are women out there who "settle" because of many reasons (fear of being alone, pressure of society, wanting kids etc etc).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 10:51 AM
1

A. Do you have any dating tips for the same or opposite sex? For both: consider communication style. Some people like to react and share stories and listen to you sharing stories, some people only ask questions and reply to questions. B. What makes a good/bad date? Good chat throughout and laughter. C. Tell us about the best/worst date you've had. Best date: going to an exhibition about mountains with a geographer. Worst date: going for a coffee with a guy who studied fridges for his master's an…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 09:03 AM
3

I think it makes sense too. Knew several couples where the guy was punching a little bit, and all these couples got together after knowing each other as acquaintances beforehand.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 08:53 AM
–

Yes I relate to it. Couple years ago I would be sewing and drawing a lot. Now after work/gym/cooking/socializing I barely have the energy and time to do something creative like that. I focus my creativity on figure design in my work, and my main hobbies that I currently stick with are yoga and solving sudokus, occasionally reading. I don't think it's an issue to not have more interesting hobbies, do whatever feels good to you and helps you recharge.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 08:36 AM
–

The pressure to stay thin is everywhere, and I imagine many women are absolutely terrified of being "fat" (not fitting into a "small") like I am. Which just messes up your whole relationship with food, no matter if processed or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 08:25 AM
–

Yeah that's how it works
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 07:23 AM
–

Hell, it wouldn't surprise me if a woman would prefer to have a painful sex with a monster dong over non-painful sex A very very weird woman maybe. The majority of women, hell no.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 11:47 PM
–

The third guy I had sex with had a massive dick. It was too long and not really enjoyable. My 16th had a very wide one that kind of overwhelmed me, we needed to take several breaks during sex because it was just weirdly exhausting. All others had either great ones or small ones. My 18th, the guy I am with now, has a great dick. I am super happy with our sex life.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 11:45 PM
–

Yeah currently doing it. Have lost 3 kg in two months while being on sertraline.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 11:36 PM
3

Yeah I was surprised at that as well. My mom is friends with so many moms of my female friends from kindergarten...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 07:43 PM
–

I think it's fair to have preferences (you can't force to be turned on), I just don't see the need to ghost. I have had sex that I didn't really enjoy because the man's penis was too small. It's a terrifying thought for men too, but it is the harsh truth sometimes. I didn't ghost him but just said I don't see each other having sex again. And that's also the reason why I won't wait long to have sex, because it's a deal breaker for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 05:32 PM
8

I honestly want to understand. Do they want to own the men by not having kids either? I am not FDS and I don't do it to "own the men", but I don't need to have children in my life to be happy. If my partner is a great guy to have children with, yeah sure I am up for that, but if I don't have any that's fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 05:27 PM
3

Nope. Can tell from personal experience that I had great sex with guys that were not that into me and disappointing sex with guys that I had high mutual attraction with (and that's so fucking heartbreaking). And dick size/shape makes a difference for me, had too big and too small.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 04:45 PM
1

I am not there yet with 29 but I actually like to see different perspectives and also show a different perspective to people.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 04:24 PM
7

I think there is a difference between ghosting and "conversation fizzles out". I had a lot of these fizzling out where both parties just noticed there is not much chemistry in writing etc and no one initiated a chat anymore. But I had for example one guy I had been chatting to for two months because he was abroad at the time, we had good chat, moved from the app to WhatsApp after a while, were talking about meeting up when he returns etc. And then he just didn't reply anymore. I sent a follow up…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 04:21 PM
1

Haha, well yeah always a possibility, but if I constantly worry I won't be able to enjoy life and end up like the blackpillers.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 03:32 PM
3

Your standards were low, not the men's. Yeah my standards were low in accepting that behaviour. It's obviously not that easy to just break it off if other things are going well, if I am 90% of the time happy it feels ridiculous to break it off because of the 10%. But you realise eventually that these 10% are chipping away at you, and that other men can actually give you 99.9%
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 11:52 AM
2

What if he's love bombing you? I have considered that and I am cautious. He's not doing it to an amount that I find worrying yet and he's not showing other red flags. Definitely not a narcissist, he's the most empathetic and compassionate person I have ever met.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 11:46 AM
2

Is this accurate for anyone here? Is it inaccurate? Well I thought for a second nah it's not that bad, but then I remembered that we are all very happy that our one friend just found a guy who's neither in a cult, nor on heroine, nor hitting her when drunk, nor barging into her flat at night to shout at her ... she knew how to pick them before. For me personally I was dating guys who sucked at some mild stuff, one was joking about me being fat because I was always so occupied with staying not fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 11:35 AM
1

I could have but didn't, I can't really focus on more than one person and I also have my own life with friends and hobbies. I think in my home country (Germany) it's also a little unexpected to date multiple people at the same time, you should be completely open about it from the start. I remember my best friend (male) dating two girls, he didn't even have sex with them yet but they found out and were pissed.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/21 10:36 AM
0

I am often amazed by analogous organs (not same origin but same function), like shark penises - claspers. They have two of them, so they are much cooler than humans. And it's handy when one gets lost, nature is brutal.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/21 10:00 AM
2

I usually tell them I don't like sperm running out of my vagina for several hours after intercourse.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 10:39 PM
2

Inside is super annoying/off-turn. On my boobs or my back I enjoy a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 10:31 PM
2

One big thing is size of dating pool. I maybe should have specified NorthRhine Westphalia. Once you are used to the population density there, dating in Scotland is just really frustrating. In Germany people my age also are less likely to already have children/be divorced. The dating itself (expectations, type of dates etc) is not much different to be honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 10:49 PM
2

I liked dating in Germany and I was very close to move back soon just for that. But now I found myself a Scottish man (after almost three years of living here).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 08:06 PM
0

Immediately after the break-up I need no/minimal contact for a few weeks, then I am happy to talk again. With most of my ex-partners I am friends, I am civil with all (even the one guy from my last relationship that pretty much exploded). I mostly had some kind of rebound a few weeks or months after.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 07:42 AM
2

Some things I classed as ambition in some partners: My one ex was a biologist and wanted to study sharks in the future. One guy I dated was a project manager and was working so hard to improve the working environment for his team, I was really impressed by that. Any guy who's conscious about the environment and trying to reduce impact more and more turns me on. The guy I am dating now is very ambitious in living a healthier life (lost 15kg, eats healthier, moves more etc) and learning German.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 09:12 PM
2

Once. The guy I was dating (and fucking) for a few weeks was dating two others as well. I really wouldn't have known if I didn't find out later because I ended up in a LTR with a friend he introduced me to and I became part of their friends group. At the time of us dating he was very lovely, I met lots of his friends, and when he told me he doesn't see us developing into a relationship he cried. I think he actually had a hard time deciding between us. He tried it with one, but that failed within…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 09:18 AM
–

German here who is also one of those "exceptions"
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 11:00 PM
-1

I just wish guys could see that it's not a big deal, and that women can be as much attracted to them as to previous "hotter" guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/21 11:00 AM
-1

Many guys here think that women don't want sex with anyone who's not the hottest look-wise. It's not true people!! Personality is a big factor in attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/21 10:37 AM
1

But doesn't that kind of negate the point of your post? I have slept with 18 guys because, as you said, women can have more casual sex if they want to, and now I couldn't rank them at all. They are divided into great, okay and bad. Okay works for FWB, but I'll only have relationships with great. That's a bunch of guys and I can't tell you who's the best, I can only tell you that I really enjoy the sex I am having at the moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/21 10:33 AM
5

I think so too. I am baffled how guys here don't realise you don't have to be the most physically attractive guy in a woman's life to be wanted and loved by her.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/21 09:50 AM
2

So, how well can she fake it? No need to fake it. The guy I am dating currently is not the most physically attractive of all guys I slept with, but his looks together with personality, smell, voice etc combined make me want to do him all the time. You don't need to be the most physically attractive one to be attractive to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/21 09:44 AM
5

Look at the shows women watch like Grey's Anatomy and Gossip Girl How about Finn Dandridge in Grey's Anatomy, or George O'Malley who has sex with several female characters (Meredith, Izzy, Callie, Olivia) and was crushed on by Lexie, definitely not that "ripped". And at least one of the main male characters in Gossip Girl is not crazy ripped either.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 11:38 AM
1

Yeah I think trimmed is fine too. But so we all have different preferences I guess!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/21 05:59 PM
1

Better single than having sweaty arm pit hair touching me! Brrr
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/21 05:06 PM
3

Oh wow. I would never punish a man for not doing it, I am just weirdly creeped out by sweaty armpit hair and some do me a favour and shave it off so I can cuddle them freely (calling it a "test" was more of a joke). My guy loves when my legs are freshly shaven, so I shave them regularly even though I personally don't care that much. Would never say he's controlling or abusive because of that, because he would also accept it not to be shaved. It's just little things we do for each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/21 05:03 PM
1

That would be so stressful most times haha
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/21 11:57 AM
1

It has become my test if a guy has feelings for me. When I told my ex boyfriends I am not a fan of armpit hair, they just shaved them without me specifically asking for it, brownie points to them. My last FWB instead was just like "you are weird haha", that was the moment I was sure he doesn't have feelings for me! (which was a good thing obviously) Edit: This was kind of a joke, can't believe people think I am abusive because I am irrationally creeped out by sweaty armpit hair and some partners…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/21 11:35 AM
2

Yeah finding a genuinely great FWB isn't that easy, you need to like them enough to spend a lot of time together, sexy enough to want to engage in sexual activity but they can't be relationship material, and none of the parties should have feelings. That's not a very common constellation.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/21 11:29 AM
4

Women wear makeup and dress up for THEMSELVES, because it’s fun to pamper yourself and to wear things that make you feel attractive. This. The guy I am dating loves my body and couldn't care less about my little tummy roll, but I hate it and feel much better wearing shape wear.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/21 11:25 AM
2

he men can buy or rent a lot of luxury things just to impress their peer That's what I think when seeing male dating profiles, the pictures are more a try to impress male peers than women (not consciously obviously, they just don't know the difference).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/21 11:23 AM
19

After all armpit hair is gross This is true, why are men not shaving it as a standard goddamn.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/21 11:21 AM
2

why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free Absolutely no idea how that relates to the topic right now. Sex is the most validating, romantic thing a woman can give a man and if she gives it to a lot of guys its not the same. Not every sex women give is romantic. And sex can be vastly different between partners. I personally think kissing is one of the best, romantic, affectionate things, but I don't think my kiss with someone is less special because both my partner and I have kissed a lot…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 11:34 PM
2

With all these men commenting here how we would need them in a war, I am just wondering if there even would still be wars if we didn't have men... (Though I know about some crazy slaughtering queens in earlier centuries, but nowadays...)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 09:18 PM
2

But why is that important? Sounds like people who are upset when they find out everyone is going to Bali on holiday and they are not as unique as they thought. Instead of prioritising their own special experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 09:15 PM
1

Ugh don't remind me of the time I was researching isopods and family members kept joking "I've got some woodlice if you need some". F off dad.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 09:06 PM
3

He is less special if you define his worth by "accomplished to have sex with this one woman". If he is less special to her as a partner is a whole different story.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 03:46 PM
2

many woman have started speaking up about how shitty it really is once they age and realize they have nothing of real significance, Wow people who are unhappy are speaking up. Doesn't mean they are the majority. And regarding the significance part, that's up to every individual woman what they deem significant. I am working in nature conservation, my contribution there is much more significant than the child I might pop out eventually.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 11:38 AM
11

When a female friend of mine trained to be a carpenter she was bullied so much by colleagues that she fell into depression and quit. The companies might bend over backwards to attract female trainees but when it comes to the work environment, some male colleagues will belittle and harass women because they think exactly like many of the commentators here. And we all know what happens when you report bullies, it just gets worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 10:54 AM
14

Also just leaving a link on Trümmerfrauen here, the women who rebuilt German cities after the war.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 10:49 AM
3

And even though punching in training or sparring is okay, punching someone while you feel anger feels especially good.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/21 09:14 AM
6

Yep. My sexuality is fluid enough to enjoy kissing women but I am just not getting excited about vaginas.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/21 09:10 AM
4

Ein gutes Pferd springt nicht höher als es muss.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/21 12:30 AM
3

In Germany we say "no good horse jumps higher than it has to"
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/21 12:21 AM
2

When I am talking about overriding instinct, I mean making a decision that goes against just following your lust for your own personal good. Men will try to "not stick their dick in crazy" as they know it might end in problems. A woman might have the hots for a guy who's a narcissist (to come back to the original post), but she doesn't go for it because she knows it won't make her happy long-term. overcoming your biology would be a hot top percent woman with all the options in the world, marryin…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/21 02:08 PM
3

But it differs between people what has priority, it can be the part where the person is good-looking, the part where they are treated well or the part where they have great sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/21 01:11 PM
3

if you had access to hot handsome rich men and they all treated you great and had great chemistry you wouldn't even look an average mans way And if men have access to hot beautiful women that treated them great and have great chemistry with they wouldn't even look an average woman's way. But alas, not everyone has access to them, and people can be realistic with their expectations and still be happy. Just because I can't have the luxury holidays in the Caribbean doesn't mean I won't be satisfied…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/21 12:53 PM
3

Future prediction on my love life is not an argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/21 12:47 PM
3

Well, I have some choice, according to the guy I am dating I am out of his league. I didn't have problems finding guys that want to date me, but many guys that might have been preferable in looks/money etc had something about their personality that I didn't like. I can't compromise on that, which is why I have been single for a long time instead of settling on something I can't be happy with long-term (therefore the soon-to-be-catlady). The man I am dating now can make me happy long-term because…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/21 12:30 PM
3

The man I am currently dating is my height, less educated, and if I would not be doing a PhD right now I would make more money than he makes. I do more weight training than he does. I am absolutely smitten with him. It is what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/21 11:46 AM
7

Yes we are animals, and even some animals have some mental capacity to override instincts. But in comparison to dogs and cats we have more possibilities to make decisions that go against our instincts. Else I would be continuously popping out babies without a second thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/21 11:25 AM
4

Because humans have the mental capacity to override a lot of instincts (often without even noticing).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/21 09:12 AM
3

I can't speak for the actual experience men have with mental health services, I only know that those men I saw declining help never had been to therapy before. But totally believe that this might be an important issue. In general the stigma is also still high for men, which makes it harder for them to seek help. And the discussions here and in TRP just make it worse by telling them no women will love them if they admit problems. A man that actively seeks help and manages his mental health is gre…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/21 12:57 PM
23

And then some people are like "well it's not my job as a woman to be a therapist for you" But that's bullshit because the entire point of a relationship is to understand another person. And if you're not willing to listen to your significant other and what they're dealing with. Then you truly don't care about that person. Understanding and listening to your SO =/= acting as a therapist. Happy to support my partner and offer him a place for the occasional vent, cry etc, but if they have deeper is…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/21 11:18 AM
8

Same! I had boyfriends cry in front of me and I immediately wanted to comfort them, it didn't make me lose any attraction. I just feel as can be much closer. But I can't replace proper mental health care if it's needed when they experience serious issues. Happy to encourage my partner to seek counseling or accompany them but I can't fix deeper issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/21 11:12 AM
8

Also, reproduction is more likely to occur for actual physical reasons. During a female orgasm the cervix contracts, which can help the sperm to travel up into the uterus. Female orgasms have purpose.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/21 07:55 AM
1

I had a thing for Connor from Assassin's creed III
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/21 01:35 PM
2

The guy I am dating is like that. He's even slightly more progressive/feminist than I am. He's 5'10, skinny fat and doesn't makes a lot of money (enough for living and a mortgage but far from 6 figures). I am totally into him.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/21 08:10 AM
1

The obsession with this sounds like another way of insecure men to blame relationship failure on women. Instead of accepting they might have been shitty in bed, they can tell themselves "oh I was great, but there just was this one guy who was better".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/21 06:07 AM
0

But you hardly remember sex you had years ago, and not everyone rates every sexual experience. I only categorise in good, ok, bad. Only the the good ones stand a chance for a relationship. Do I know who of them was the best? No. Is sex more fun if I am emotionally attached to the person? Hell yes. There is no reason for me to go back to a dick from the past when I have good sex and an emotional bond with my current partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/21 05:56 AM
6

I am impressed by anyone who can still remember sex they had years ago that well. With increasing n-count, I think it's much harder to even have "a best". I know who of my 18 was good and who wasn't, but I couldn't even rate the good ones at this point. The guy I am dating now is good and I am happy. No idea if he's better or worse than my boyfriend 10 years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 11:09 PM
1

Henry Cavill has an attractive face but he's far too bulky/muscly these days. He was better back in the Tudors as far as I recall. Tudors season 4, that's when he became my favourite celebrity lookwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 05:27 PM
2

What can I say, the guy I am dating is incredibly smart, sweet, affectionate and has a great dick that he uses very well. Is that a good enough reason?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 09:43 AM
1

Might be because my mother is the same, she hates that my father is investing (guess who put several thousand euros into an airline a few months before lockdown haha). I don't mind it with him since he has a very stable income from his day-to-day job and just invests bonuses he sometimes gets, that would be okay in a partner for me as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 09:41 AM
2

I am doing a PhD and at the moment dating a guy without higher education. One of my colleagues is also dating a guy without higher education. My best friend with a master's was 13 years in a relationship with a guy without higher education. My sister is doing a PhD and currently dating a guy without higher education. So I feel there are some women willing to date down!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 07:53 AM
2

I think it's more about stability and security, which is obviously partly provided by resources/money but not the same. I would prefer a guy in a lesser paid stable permanent job that he likes than a more well-off guy who is making risky investments or jumping from one profession to another. And I don't know how all that relates to the sex. Most women have sex with their partner because they like to have sex with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 07:47 AM
2

In our department (biology) any new incoming guy is snapped up within weeks.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 07:39 AM
2

No, it didn't change me nor my desire to have a monogamous relationship. It was nice to satisfy a sexual need at the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 07:35 AM
0

I am thinking the same! I also have never met a woman who is purposefully denying a guy sex while dating even though she was ready for it (not saying none do this, but a good chunk doesn't). If you don't care about n-count as a woman, you have sex with a guy whenever you and him feel like it's the right moment for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 04:02 PM
–

How is the notion that something turns you on/off the same as "I give you sex if you give me exactly this". Women don't even have to act on a turn on. When a guy pays for them it turns them on because the man gives her the feeling he likes her/likes spending time with her/finds her special. People get turned on for many reasons, no one says you pay for your sex in dirty talk etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 03:36 PM
16

Yeah I thought the same. I absolutely believe it's "not all men" as I have male friends that prefer relationships over casual and are very romantic, but hearing from guys in this sub definitely paints a quite strong picture about at least a big part of the male population.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 07:07 AM
–

Great post. I have been dating a guy for three weeks now and he's doing a lot of what you describe, no wonder I get tingles whenever I spent time with him and miss him when he's not around!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 07:00 AM
10

Same. I would like to get married to the right person, but if it doesn't happen I won't be unhappy. Same with children.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 09:54 AM
7

And if it doesn't work out you get monthly checks from him and a free babysitter half the time. And sometimes a broken heart, self-doubts, therapy, the thought that your kid will never have full siblings, not seeing your kid half the time (guess what, some mothers miss their kids), juggling around holidays, travel, living arrangements all in agreement with a person who betrayed you. That's the case for my sister, and it's definitely not the life she would have chosen.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 09:53 AM
–

Brrr my personal nightmare haha! I am quite indifferent to body hair on men, but sweaty armpit hair somehow is revolting to me...
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 09:49 AM
–

I don't like sweaty armpit hair, and cuddling into a guys arm after sex makes it touch me. It's just a personal thing 🤷
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 09:46 AM
–

Hair everywhere else is fine! I am just creeped out by sweaty armpit hair. Especially when you want to cuddle after sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 09:44 AM
–

No.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 09:43 AM
–

Love is a man who shaves his armpits for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 05:44 AM
2

And he has a cat!! 😻
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 01:54 PM
7

Scotland, 29F. In comparison to Germany where I am from, I see/met a lot of single parents and divorcees around my age on Tinder. In my general life, I rarely see red pill described behaviours of women, but it could also be due to my environment (academia/biology, most people there don't care about money or looking fancy). When I went out on first dates, we mostly did something casual, but if there was a bill most guys paid it despite me offering to split (only one guy accepted my offer). I thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 08:23 AM
1

Guess it's just me then. If good looking guys send me only an emoji I don't text back.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 01:40 PM
2

Actually not sure if he was the first guy I approached, can't remember. Have approached a few others at least later though that sometimes rejected me (for a relationship). With the other one no one did really do the first move. We just became closer organically suddenly, hanging out just the two of us, and one night we kissed because it just felt right at the moment. Guys never hit on you at those events with your best friend? Only if I gave them very very obvious IOIs.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 01:14 PM
1

But you could also copy and paste "Hey, how's your day going?" instead of "👋". Would find that already much more engaging. But might be just me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 01:08 PM
0

Never said all.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 08:12 AM
1

If that's so, why do men keep sending an emoji as first message. You would think they would try harder if they are competing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 08:10 AM
1

like 5 dudes hovering around 2 girls The reality then sometimes is that all these 5 dudes are only into the prettier one of those 2 girls, that was what my teenage years looked like. I wasn't ugly, but my best friend had an amazing figure, a cute face with freckles and natural long curly hair. I had to approach my first boyfriend because I didn't really get attention. The next one had been one of my best friends for two years before we started dating, so he didn't really approach me out of nowhe…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 08:08 AM
2

<3
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 09:12 AM
2

she has some condition or whatever the prevents her from enjoying it You make it sound like it's a problem that a woman wants to enjoy sex. I have had my fair share of dicks with a n-count of 18, some are so small that I don't really feel anything, others were so large that they couldn't go in all the way because it would hurt me. I have no idea what the sizes are that I liked having sex with. I will have sex with the dick presented to me and decide based on enjoyment if I want to continue havin…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 07:54 AM
2

1½ years between Dec 2019 and June 2021. Before that the longest was like 6 months.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 10:32 PM
5

"Just one-in-ten students (10%) expected to have sex during their welcome week and a similar proportion (9%) did so." Just?! Man that must be some welcome weeks in the UK. We only had one pub crawl and a breakfast in my programme.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 07:19 AM
1

Does the one who had a date talk about it? Or is she cool with her lack of dating life. I think she's not cool with it but also not putting herself out there a lot, she is socially a little bit anxious I think. But she doesn't talk about it a lot. The lesbian hooks up and does casual though right? Nope. Don't think she had any sexual interaction in the last 2-3 years. Edit: And she is also not really into casual I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 01:25 PM
1

Not really doing it. I think one had one first date like a year back and the other is a lesbian who doesn't care that much about relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 01:09 PM
1

Ah, no worries! I totally believe you that some women are not open to these discussions at all, and that some are also quite unknowledgeable/shy in taking action. Tricky situations you can land in, especially during casual sex. It's amazing to find a partner who is already good, who tells you their desires but also is okay with you guiding them and adopting it. Enjoy another cup of coffee!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 12:56 PM
2

If it satisfies you, I freely admit I have two girl friends who I think are below average attractivity.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 12:27 PM
2

you made a comment as to try and insult someone by saying too bad these men are not in a healthy relationship I didn't mean to insult anyone, and I also didn't assume any relationship status, I wanted to express that men who are not able to discuss how to improve sex with their partner are not in a healthy relationship. Maybe I should have worded it better since your post said "complaining" which sounds quite negative. It doesn't need to be "my dear, sex with you is horrible", obviously no one w…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 12:06 PM
1

Thanks for that information I guess? Not that I asked for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 11:41 AM
6

Way to go off-topic. It's also hardly femsplaining if I share my anecdotal evidence that no man has ever complained to me about the disparity in athletic sexual work. Get your terms right.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 08:26 AM
2

I am sorry that these men are not in healthy relationships where they can talk about these things with their partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 08:23 AM
1

It really is a thing of timing with the right guy in the right place. I waited 5 years to meet the one in which I was dating several lukewarm guys that just couldn't go that final step (I either picked them badly or men around 30 struggle with commitment, none of them are in a LTR by now). But I just met someone who's absolutely lovely, treats me exceptionally well and is pretty much ready to commit. He's 39, maybe that's part of the reason he is more open to that. It might also be the type of g…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 11:21 PM
2

No worries, I was just not sure what you are exactly asking about. I think it's hard to find posts/articles because there are so many different ways to describe these behaviours. Reddit subs are also often very biased echo chambers so they won't be representative of society, just mentioning.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 05:14 PM
9

Where? Here in PPD I see more criticism of women. In mainstream media I don't see either very often.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 05:02 PM
34

The man is just being used unjustly, I’d just feel shitty if I knew I didn’t like someone and they were doing stuff for me in the hopes of a relationship. Same with guys pumping & dumping and stringing women along. Some people just suck and exploit others where they can, no matter the gender. I think it's being discussed here and there but not in popular culture I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 04:57 PM
15

How is shaving not preparation? Many women wouldn't do it if it wasn't the expected standard, so it's not at all comparable to eating and drinking. I also would never do it every day, but I do it every time before I might have sex. Would like to see how long it takes you to properly shave the female genital area without cutting yourself. Wearing special underwear costs money, thought, and can cause discomfort. How is that not effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 02:23 PM
1

He got it from his father: "if you buy cheap, you buy twice"
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 09:16 AM
–

All hypergamy related (as TRP defines it) posts. I think they stem from the insecurity/worry they are not lovable enough that any woman will ever stick with them, so they cling to the whole hypergamy/monkey branching theory to explain it's just women's nature and doesn't have to do anything with them. I am not saying no woman ever does this. But it's not nearly as common as they are telling themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 07:59 AM
36

Some women might put in effort in preparation (shaving, nice underwear etc) and some put in effort during sex (oral, on top, finishing him or herself by hand). When it's all about "athletic work", yes mostly men put in more effort. But I have yet to meet a man who complains about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 07:51 AM
1

I mean, if the 2% include that the condom obviously ripped, a woman can still get plan b. And I think most would do so.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/21 08:18 AM
1

I understand how they feel rejected in a way since you expect men to enjoy coming inside. But I actually like to take the same precaution, I offer my sexual partners to pull out, remove the condom and come on me. They mostly find it sexy and I don't need to worry about pregnancy, win win. Good on you to be cautious!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/21 08:13 AM
2

Brad Pitt. Never found him attractive. I like Adam though
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 09:41 AM
1

I guess my threesome with a girl friend (who I had some kind of feelings for, even though I am straight) and a guy we both found charming and attractive. It wasn't blowing my mind so never done it again or plan to, but it was an interesting experience. The guy was totally blown away though
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 09:28 AM
4

You are aware that they booked models for that show who are doing other stuff as well right? The supermodels are not full time employed by VS.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 08:16 AM
2

I think people taking part in this push and pull are quite insecure. They probably feel bad about themselves if they don't get the attention, and so put more effort in when they don't get it that easily. There are many people out there dating who take it too personal if someone isn't interested in continuing a conversation. It doesn't mean they are not attractive or interesting, but they feel that way and try to get a person hooked again to feel better about themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 02:31 PM
0

Have you been on Reddit?/s Guys are stating that constantly, it's not a secret.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 03:21 AM
–

People are just incompatible at times, there are thousands of reasons not to be in a relationship with someone that have nothing to do with "league" or "SMV". I didn't continue dating a super hot and well-off guy because we didn't share the same humour. There was just a connection missing between us because of that. I don't deserve a "better" man than him for a LTR, I deserve a more compatible one. And my male friends are experiencing the same, not every man is obsessed with looks alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 09:09 PM
0

I waited for an absolutely lovely man who is funny, caring, loves cats, bought me pizza and beer and has a great dick. Worth the wait.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 08:55 PM
-1

But I don't want to be dicked by a Chad, I want to be dicked by someone I have good chemistry with and can see LTR potential, because that turns me on.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 08:54 PM
3

My 1½ year sex drought is finally over. Thanks Tinder, you did good this time.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 01:14 PM
–

We have to vet the men as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 01:10 PM
–

Though in general I would agree that women have it easier on the dating market, you should consider the time wasted by dating all these different men to find a partner. It's not just about fuckboys out of our league, average men who look for a relationship can also waste your time when they are just not that into you but string you along to get sex for a while as they know they won't get it again too soon. If a woman isn't interested in a man, she mostly won't pretend/have sex with him and he ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 01:01 PM
1

Affects the attractiveness a lot 5'9 (my own height) 6'1-6'5 5'9 6'6 6'1
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/21 02:47 PM
5

20% were really great, including those about 50% were enjoyable. I wouldn't consider a relationship with the other 50% because of the sex. The enjoyable ones had good moves, a nice dick and knew how to make me orgasm. The really great ones were the best mix of everything and made me feel sexy and comfortable. I was in love with most them and they with me, I think that also lifted the sex to the next level.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/21 07:01 PM
2

Entering a relationship/being sure of feelings through "dating". I got to know all my ex-partners as acquaintances first and only after seeing each other at least a couple times as that/friends (longest 2 years, shortest ~15 days in a row), something more developed. But I rarely get to know new people in the place I live now, so I am going on dates with strangers from dating apps and there is this pressure from the start that you are looking for something romantic, and I struggle to see if there…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/21 08:32 PM
1

Because sometimes one party might have to sacrifice, and I personally wouldn't do that without being married. I wouldn't change jobs/move cities/stay at home a while with kids without knowing that my partner shares the responsibility for that sacrifice legally. Another reason for me is that marriage means to me being family. I am part of his and he's part of mine. I am aunt to his nephews/nieces and the other way round. I don't see that as the case if we are not married. It also allows some othe…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 08:58 AM
0

I once hooked up with a guy who was close to 50 (at the age of 32). I think I wouldn't easily commit to a man with that many because I would always worry he wants to "collect more" and gets bored quickly, especially since I am quite insecure about my body. But I see the numbers in context of time being single/having relationships etc and make my decisions based on that. I never ask a man his number really, he just told me. A diary is weird as it gives a vibe of "conquering" instead of just enjoy…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 08:20 AM
2

What you might need to consider is that some women also are okay with terminating a pregnancy they would go through with because the father doesn't want it. I would do that, because I don't want a child that will feel unwanted by one parent. Therefore I am also not a fan of keeping it in your scenario so that only the father might have it for example. In your scenario I think I would hope we can agree on giving it up for adoption.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 07:56 AM
2

So they are just lying everywhere, which makes this study pretty much unreliable?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 12:34 PM
2

So if anything, it is worse then the data presents. Why? If they lied down about n-count but not about cheating, it would mean women who actually have the n-count are less likely to cheat than expected.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 11:56 AM
2

But people in PPD also that women are always lying about their count, even in studies. So how can we take that one seriously?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 09:57 AM
1

I don't worry a lot, but enough to tell people where I am at what time and the guy's name. I also only meet guys I have found on the internet before in some capacity (LinkedIn, page of the employer etc), which is why I don't worry that much I guess. Also mostly meet for lunch or coffee on the first date. An acquaintance had a story of a guy behaving really odd on her first date, so much that she locked herself in a different room and called the police, the guy bolted.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 08:45 AM
1

I would even go so far as to say, if a chick is into a dude enough, she wouldn't mind paying part of the bill or might even insist, as to show she's not after a free meal. Yeah it can be seen like that, but I think some women also insist on paying their half because they are not interested and don't want to feel like they "owe" the guy something (e.g. a second date). So might cause misinterpretation. What I did to show my interest is pay for drinks at a bar after the food. Or on the second date.…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 12:14 PM
1

Better than no sex at all. I am on a dry spell for 1½ years now, I wouldn't mind a new FWB but it's hard to find one here.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 06:40 PM
1

I mean, at the time you are dating people (I think that applies to both genders) they might seem to have soulmate potential when you meet them but it just doesn't work out and looking back they never would have been soulmates. I had 5 relationships and dated about 5 guys including sex thinking we might develop into something more serious. Looking back I only consider three of them to have been soulmate/husband potential.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 06:33 PM
7

I think in my friend's group (also late 20s to early 30s) there is only one because she married the guy she got together with at 18 and he was probably her third or fourth. Most are somewhere between 10 and 20, myself included.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 03:11 PM
1

I understand your wish and you are free to have this preference. I just want to shed light on where your family might be coming from: I refuse the idea that the first time a guy sticks his dick inside a woman is somehow changing her. I also don't say "losing virginity", I say "having sex for the first time". For some that might be the exact same thing, but I and many others don't think that women "lose" something just because they have intercourse, or that they are "damaged goods". And there is …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 02:55 PM
1

God I struggle with this, I am 29 and it looks like at least half the guys my age in my area already have kids. I also get hit on a lot by younger guys (25-26ish), but I am not really into that. I might be ready for the stepmom thing in 5ish years so maybe I just have to wait haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 09:44 AM
-3

It's not obsession. It's concern over getting used. It's concern over getting different treatment, worse treatment, than the men she used to fuck. It's concern over whether she's being honest. Maybe the woman learned from being pumped and dumped and now wants to avoid being used herself. What would you do in her position?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 08:52 PM
2

Okiedokie ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 06:43 PM
2

Then you have to explain what you mean exactly. I am a straight woman btw.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 06:41 PM
1

I don't think that comment was meant for me..?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 04:28 PM
1

someone is telling them what to bring Throwback to all parties/BBQs we did in our late teens with our mixed gender friend's group. Us girls literally told every single guy what they should bring because they were so useless (we prepared salads and stuff, they got to bring a bag of crisps).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 10:33 AM
5

Agree with this. I am the equivalent of a nice guy, my male friends are surprised I am single because I am this kind, smart, affectionate woman with (maybe slightly above) average looks, but yeah rarely meeting a good man interested in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 11:43 AM
1

I find league a difficult concept because people's preferences are just so different. There was one guy I had an ONS with who could probably attract girls of higher conventional beauty than me. I know that he was kind of a Chad, only casual stuff. But I was still quite confident approaching him at the time, so he couldn't have been that dazzling (I was pretty drunk though... And he the only single guy at a party). He seemed to like me, whenever we saw each other there were really good vibes and …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 09:10 AM
3

Career and family are not mutually exclusive, and for me none takes priority over the other, though I won't need my own children to be happy. At 29 I haven't found the right partner to have a family with, so currently I am focusing more on the career. I am enjoying it while it lasts, as I know it's super inconvenient for family life and I likely would change careers to have children. I will never regret not having married some rando to have children with.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 08:55 AM
3

“we never had a conversation agreeing to be exclusive.” Hahaha yes, I never had this conversation with any of my exes (I am from Germany). It was just kind of clear we are in a relationship. We had to decide on an official date later-on because it was never discussed.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/21 11:47 AM
0

Scotland is an amazing place to live. Even with the whole Brexit shite happening I might stay here. There might be more taller guys in Glasgow/Edinburgh than in the Northeast where I live because guys from England and other nationalities live there. but I was consuming a lot of beer The way it should be
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/21 01:58 PM
2

It's the same with me and my sister actually. We have the same height, but completely different face shape, eyebrows, nose, and also body proportions as I have long legs and a short torso while for her it's reversed. With all my family (parents, grandparents and aunts) it becomes clear as well how we have elements from both families.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/21 01:43 PM
2

Oh wow that's an interesting mix and outcome! And 5'10 is already amazing for a Scottish man so you are in a good position ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/21 01:29 PM
2

Especially when you live in Scotland where the average man is 5'7. Should go back to my homelands Germany and the Netherlands!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/21 12:55 PM
0

Very similar view. Be somewhat fit and active and eat well, body fat 15-20% would be nice to me. Would always prefer a more massive weightlifter over a lean defined man. I am 5'9 and want someone at least 5'10, my dream man would be 6'3 but I am realistic. I am more into the blonde Scandinavian type.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/21 12:40 PM
2

I always offer to split but so far every man I ever dated wanted to cover the whole bill on the first date. If they do that, I say thank you and how kind it is, but don't feel like I owe them anything. It's their choice to pay for me. When I continue dating someone I pay once in a while or make home cooked meals, not to pay back but because I like to give too. I sometimes also pay for friends when we go out, just as a kind gesture. Not everything in life has to be a transaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 01:47 PM
1

if you met in a bar, you'd reach that conclusion in seconds". Rather scotches the idea about female attraction being particularly complex or sophisticated. Depends on how you define complex. That you feel attraction within seconds when you meet someone can be rooted in experiencing the combination of looks, voice, way of talking, humour, body language and many more things. But also, this is one woman. We are all different and feel attraction faster/quicker and based on different traits.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 12:08 PM
2

Thanks for the kind words! I have been on a good path lately so I hope this continues :)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/21 03:08 PM
5

For my dating life it was a game changer to lose weight in my teens, but it also messed up my whole perspective on my body. I was never overweight but on the brink on it, and I was getting so frustrated with boys making jokes about me, and my thinner girl friends getting so much more positive attention that I slipped into an eating disorder at 16, ate close to nothing or threw it up and exercised frantically etc until I was underweight (5'9 116lbs). After an intervention from my father, I manage…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/21 10:47 AM
1

I actually mostly had a career so far that's more passion driven (research), but I know it will end eventually and then I will want something that supports my life outside work. I have a somewhat expensive taste in holidays (wildlife watching, diving etc), so that's something I would like to be able to afford. And I prefer clothes and furniture of high quality which last long and they are expensive too. I hope to be able to at least buy a place for myself at some point, maybe one to rent out. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 12:59 PM
2

No.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 12:22 PM
35

Women, what motivates you to develop your career? I would like to not only feed myself but buy nice things and secure my retirement.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 07:44 AM
0

I agree. I swipe left on tons of men that have physical potential but just present themselves badly. Bad dress style, uncropped screenshot photos, no bio or bad bio, unkept hair style etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/21 09:59 AM
2

you have reasons to speak with them other than thinking they look good Agree with this. I think it's okay to approach women in cafés, parks or gyms (if they don't look super busy) as long as the guy initiates with a topic. If she reads a book, is doing a specific activity etc ask about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/21 08:30 AM
2

Most likely we're wired for serial monogamy and changing partners. I think so too. Obviously it would be nice/convenient to stay with one person your whole life, but people change. Whoever might have been a compatible partner in your 20's might not be in your 50's. I think people would be happier if they wouldn't feel pressured to find "the one" and instead enter a LTR with the acceptance that it might not be forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/21 08:12 AM
1

I have heard a lot of women complain about them, but I have never gotten one :D can count myself lucky I guess
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 08:14 AM
3

There is an Instagram account "Sibling or Dating" which posts pictures from which you have to guess
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 01:02 PM
6

I am female and I would also call him above average, his face is absolutely fine. But I guess I am just above average myself, so maybe that's the reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 02:32 PM
7

You know, JUST by chance, this profits her to the max. No, profiting in a materialistic way (which you are obviously talking about) to the max would be dating a guy who has a more expensive lifestyle than she has who's paying that way for her. Those lists are hilarious to read, and even more so when other women here chip in saying these are "normal". Girl, if it's longer than 5 points, it's not normal. Maybe you shouldn't see it as a list to be ticked, but experience showed a relationship worked…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 02:19 PM
13

You are interpreting things into her post that are not there. She doesn't want someone going into debt over their hobbies, and nowhere did she say she wants him to pay for her too. And she said "SOME SIMILAR" hobbies and interests, not that they all need to be the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 01:41 PM
13

The list is pretty much just describing compatibility?! Which point is negotiable for you personally?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 08:22 AM
3

All my hoodies are male fashion, if it's about comfort and quality it's just much better. Whoever is keeping those short/cropped shirts going deserves a special place in hell.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 08:16 AM
2

He calls himself below average, I think he's quite handsome...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 07:59 AM
10

And men have less baggage? How do you know that women were better companions in old times? Modern women are more independent than ever, means if they are with men they do because they really like them instead of societal pressure etc forcing them to find a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 11:09 PM
13

I have plenty of male married friends. Not one of them says his life is better after marriage. Several have admitted they made a mistake. I have plenty of male married friends too. They are all happy apart from my brother in law who cheated on my sister and is now getting divorced even though he doesn't really want to. I also have male friends who have casual options but still prefer romance and love. I guess anecdotal evidence just shows us people are different.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 09:18 PM
0

Never said a man needs marriage to achieve any of that? But there are men who prefer a long lasting companionship over casual. And if you are in such a relationship in which you often make sacrifices for the other, both parties should have security for doing that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 08:57 PM
6

Marriage makes us family IMO. Makes me part of his and him part of my family. It gives security when you buy a house, one person gets sick or one person makes sacrifices for the other (career etc, I wouldn't move away/leave a job for a boyfriend but I would for a husband).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 08:41 PM
30

I feel sorry for guys asking these things, because they apparently never had a loving partner and have a completely distorted image of the relationship. Companionship is a great and valuable thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 08:34 PM
1

I have had conversations with a few men on datingapps that seemed to be on the AWALT train. It's so weird when you have a nice conversation with a guy and he suddenly complains how all women are crazy/have an agenda/are entitled. I had a very deep talk with one guy who mentioned in his profile that he's taking care of his mental health and I texted him because of that to give him some supportive words, and then after a couple hours he rants about women. I guess they either are really thinking th…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/21 10:48 AM
3

Getting ripped does pull in a ton of women. Oh for sure, but some are not interested in having a partner like that. I get the hots for Jason Mamoa but I am not looking for a relationship with a man like that, and I can get the hots for a less ripped guy. Whatever guy I am dating likely also doesn't mind a woman like Adriana Lima.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/21 10:18 AM
4

I think women have become so desensitized to seeing hoards of ripped shirtless men Or that's not what all women are interested in. I have a healthy body but swipe left on all ripped guys because I don't think our lifestyle matches, I only exercise casually and are a couch potato at times. I prefer a less exercised man who is not super active.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/21 08:27 AM
2

Yeah kind of true. Between all my relationships was one casual sex partner haha. Meanwhile I ended up seriously dating two men who just came out of relationships and were treating me like a girlfriend for months but turned out "not ready to commit".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 08:48 AM
2

Pretty much every guy I had sex with went down on me. The one that I guess comes closest to "Chad" (attractive, good money, has lots of casual sex) definitely did. Most guys I know really enjoy it, I never had to ask for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 08:42 AM
1

25% of young women actively seek out a man who is up to 20 years older than they are No, just because they are in relationships with older men doesn't mean they are actively seeking them out. It just happens. I have dated a range of age differences. Some were +- a few months, some 1-3 years, two men were about 10 years older than I am. It's about maturity level of both individuals and compatibility, which is not always age related. Obviously there are some who have a very specific liking for a s…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 09:35 PM
2

He was the only single person on a birthday party when I was horny.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 01:48 PM
7

Yeah because we have Ryanair/Eurowings/Vueling and more airlines for dead cheap flights in Europe to travel around. That's not exclusive to women and male billionaires though, a Danish incel might be able to afford €50 to go to Spain.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 08:23 AM
12

Me at 29 wondering if I'll ever be able to buy a flat to call my own but apparently I should already live in a mansion?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 08:18 AM
7

Hmm I think it's a good sign if people that are in a similar situation have an easier time than yourself. I for example felt like there are no great options of men available in my area as I have a much harder time dating than I had before I came here. But in the last two years, three of my single female friends found a more or less serious relationship. I still have some excuses in my head as they are 3 years younger and much shorter than I am (I am two inches taller than the male average) but i…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 02:09 PM
1

I definitely prefer dating through my social circle. I got to know my partners either as friends of friends or in university classrooms. We were friends first and developed into more. Since breaking up happend amicable, there was no issue within the friends group. Never had luck in OLD for an LTR, only one STR/FWB (5 years and counting).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 08:25 AM
1

I just widened my search area in OLD and would potentially have to travel 2-3 hours to meet some. But it makes such a difference, so many more and attractive men in Edinburgh than in the Northeast of Scotland!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 08:08 AM
1

I have had this conversation with guys, and it was fine. We mostly developed into FWBs following that. Nothing better than a honest communicative FWB to disrupt the dry spell between LTRs.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/21 09:44 PM
1

Using OLD I noticed how attractive men rarely have any bio etc, or only state their height. I am not a person who wants to start talking to lots of men hoping they are compatible in the most basic personality traits. At the same time I am wondering if they care so little about their matches' personalities since it would possibly filter some women out if they have a bio.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/21 08:48 AM
1

I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure he had a great cat life with you. ❤️
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/21 09:16 AM
16

Agree with that. I was dating a weightlifter who was on the whole chicken/broccoli/rice thing. I couldn't eat broccoli for a year because I eventually got sick just smelling it. And also, he didn't care that I wasn't very fit. After I broke up with him for unrelated reasons, he dated women of very different shapes. Most people have a range of lifestyle/level of fitness they find attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 10:48 PM
18

I am 5'9 and I feel massive because of it. Not weak, but slim seems to be the attractive ideal. Got most male attention when I was underweight.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 12:47 PM
93

Well I like looking feminine and attractive but the beer crate isn't carrying itself home.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 12:36 PM
2

Hoping for the best ❤️
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 09:05 AM
2

A guy tried something similar with me. We dated and were on the path to a LTR when he suddenly ended it. 3ish years later he tried to get back with me after we hooked up once, but I wasn't interested anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 08:53 AM
0

In my personal case it plays a huge role. I've suffered from body dysmorphia since I was 16 (thinking I am fat though have never been overweight) and that has led to eating disorders, anxiety and depression. But other factors played into it later in life as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 08:48 AM
1

So in Germany you go to school until 18/19 to qualify for university, don't know if that counts as HS? Yes. I experienced school love when 18-19yo with a guy who had been a good friend before. Until this day I feel like it was my most secure and satisfying relationship. It ended when we went to different universities and he didn't want to do long distance. No. Only thing I might be a little sad about is that the LTR mentioned above didn't work out long-term. But I only know very few "highschool …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 07:11 PM
1

I am putting my hopes now into the new boyfriend of a friend here, told her he's very welcome to bring single mates along...
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 05:29 PM
1

Yeah pretty much. I have been in a similar situation were I dated a guy and it didn't work out, and then I got into a relationship with a friend of his. But I doubt that's a very common scenario and I would never date someone I don't see potential in.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 05:28 PM
1

We were talking about where to find men since I didn't have struggles in my home country but now live in the dating desert that is Northeast Scotland, where we have been on lockdown most of the last 12 months and the options on OLD are very limited. I am quite sure she was serious about it (she looks like one of the old hippies, so not that surprising maybe?)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 01:57 PM
5

My therapist told me I should date men that I am not that into as they might have attractive friends. Don't think it's the best plan to find a partner...
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 01:26 PM
6

Yeah same. My one ex burst into tears just 2 months into the relationship because a friend was giving him a hard time and he was overwhelmed, and I just comforted him like any partner should do. We were together for 2 years after that, he's still my friend and I wish I would find someone as emotional intelligent as he is.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 08:11 AM
3

Yes I know they all want sex. But your examples were men choosing women solely on how easy it will be to get sex, no matter if they are really attracted to her, which is not the case for all men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 12:37 PM
3

They could also think "hey she looks cute and has a nice laugh"? But I don't know about that stuff too well, most romantic initiating happend for me in social circles, e.g. guy from the badminton club asking me out.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 11:41 AM
3

They are an issue too but that type of man, who's confidently going in it with that intention from the start, is quite easy to spot and filter out in my opinion. I am more worried about the (maybe slightly above) average guy who doesn't get sex that regularly, sees his chance to have sex with the woman who initiated even though he is not interested in more than that and starts dating her "seriously" just to not commit to her.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 11:27 AM
8

The woman is being strung along when she's interested in a guy but he isn't and doesn't commit but keeps giving her just enough hope for her to not give up so he can get easy sex. That can of course also happen if the guy initiates, but I think the chances are better that way that he at least see's more of a LTR potential from the start. Meanwhile if a woman initiates he might not have been interested at all but feels like he's being served sex on a platter.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 11:21 AM
9

"easy task" in what? Arranging a date together? no shit. But I would assume a date was the goal of the woman approaching. Obviously in stringing along. "she was alone" "she looked Down To Fuck" "she's a chubbier than most of other girls so she's more likely to say yes" Ugh that makes me want to stay single...
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 10:18 AM
15

No for sure not, but if a man initiates he obviously had interest and puts effort in, while if a woman initiates the guy immediately knows she's into him and that he potentially has an easy task.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 09:45 AM
20

they reckon that if they initiate contact a guy will use them for sex, because he's not going to be 100% into her. That's exactly my fear and reason why I am not very tempted to go for it anymore after the last guy strung me along for quite some time.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/21 09:15 AM
2

Might be, but same goes for women. There are people with extreme opinions and some of them voice them openly and some don't. Important is, the majority isn't that extreme and harsh.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 09:09 PM
4

From some yes, but not all. And I never came across a guy who was like that IRL. It's a small subgroup of men, and they mostly voice their extreme opinions only anonymously on the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 07:08 PM
2

Now I crave a French vanilla and Boston creme, thanks... Next Tim Horton's is several hours drive away :(
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 10:37 AM
6

Yeah I didn't experience that harshness often from men. I had one ex who fits into that description who just loved to make fun of my insecurities etc and made me miserable, but all other guys I dated weren't like that. Polite, caring, emotional at times. One was almost to sensible and couldn't communicate at all, would have preferred him to speak the harsh truth instead of "I don't know" "I have to think about it" etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 10:00 AM
3

Perspective from a woman who's looking for a LTR. I consider myself quite good in filtering out potential fuck boys etc. Together with some standards and deal breakers that leaves me with swiping right on maybe 2%? So only have a few matches. I occasionally have had dates over the years, and they all have been "good quality", but it's just so unlikely to find the right person when I have 2-3 first dates a year. So I am not sure yet if OLD will result in a LTR for me, but at least I am not having…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 09:31 AM
2

For me personally it depends on situation. If a friend starts a fight with me I start crying, if a stranger starts a fight with me I'll shout. If someone else is hurt and I know what to do I'll step in, if I don't know I'll freeze. I don't think it's a gender thing, it's likely more a individual and situation thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 08:37 AM
2

18; 22; 26
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 08:16 AM
3

Men are behaving like children
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 08:15 AM
0

Guess they don't know Maxim from K.I.Z who's the hottest piece ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/21 08:05 AM
0

We had a long thread in a local Facebook group (Germany) just recently where a guy in his early thirties asked in a very friendly way how women see cold approaches in public. 100s of responses, 99% positive. Many added that it depends on how you do it, be respectful and friendly, don't use awful chat up lines and all is good.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 08:22 AM
2

In my close friends group, 3/4 women cheated by kissing someone else. Two were in their late teens at the time, one was early twenties.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 08:11 AM
1

For me marriage means becoming a family and relying on each other, making decisions about life together. Only if I am married I am buying a house with someone, would move for their career or als them to move for my career etc. Some people sacrifice their career for the other by taking a less desirable job so the other gets to have the dreamjob. So there is dependent, and that's okay. But you should still be able to live on your own if needed. As an example; my mother has been a SAHM for about 17…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/21 11:37 PM
3

Yeah I think that's more likely too, and that's the only thing I have ever seen IRL. Never heard of someone getting pumped and dumped outside Reddit, so I don't think it's that common and often misinterpreted.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/21 04:38 PM
2

How do you know it's the vast majority?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/21 04:36 PM
1

It's not a situation where you get scammed out of your money and receive nothing in return. I don't see sex as something transactional so that's nothing I would think anyway, but you are still allowed to feel offended that a person lied to you by pretending to be interested in a relationship when they were not. It's like you overhearing a friend saying they don't like you but spent time with you because they are bored. I think most people wouldn't be happy about that even though they enjoyed the…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/21 03:20 PM
0

I see so many male dating profiles in which they say they are looking for a someone ambitious, I wonder how that fits into the PPD preaching that men don't care about female education/career.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/21 11:11 AM
2

In general I like men owning pets (and treating them well), just shows they are caring and responsible. Can recommend for single guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/21 11:08 AM
1

Never heard man child in that context, I only hear it when a guy is in a relationship expecting their gf/wife to act like their mother (doing all chores, coddle him etc).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/21 11:05 AM
1

My cat and I felt really offended since I am being a healthy weight and doing a PhD! :D and I have a little bit of party history, though wouldn't say I "rode the cock carousel"...
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/21 10:21 AM
2

There is the "cat dad" which is actually adored by women. Classic.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/21 10:19 AM
2

Why not discuss better sex education and accessible contraceptives. That will reduce abortions much more. 'Muricans..
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/21 10:14 AM
0

What I guess is there are three different situations in which "pump and dump" appears to happen. They are dating with prospect of relationship, they get along, the guy hopes sex might take it to the next level - they have sex and the guy notices there is just not more in there. He might stop dating her the next day (in my experience they drag it out a little longer, which I don't consider pump and dump but stringing along). They are dating with prospect of relationship, they actually don't get a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/21 10:09 AM
4

Something along the lines of teleportation/high speed travel etc. Just hate how long it takes me to visit friends and family, I would like to see them more often.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/21 09:33 AM
1

£199 Armchair from IKEA
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 10:31 AM
1

Don't we all have some form of baggage? I think that doesn't make people necessarily unworthy of dating/new relationships. At 27 I was dating a 38 year old man who was divorced (no children). He was great, if I have ever met a "HVM", he would be one. We sadly didn't click in a romantic way and he also had not been completely over his divorce yet (we met a couple months after), but I bet he's by now an absolutely fabulous guy to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 10:20 AM
0

Enforced monogamy?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 11:50 PM
1

So far I didn't care. Most of my exes had less previous partners than me as far as I know but I am not 100% sure as we never discussed it. Out of the guys I had casual sex with some had more than me surely. The last guy I fell in love with had way less than I had I think. Who cares, I loved him and having sex with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 10:23 PM
2

We have this term "Lebensabschnittspartner" in German, which pretty much means "Partner for a period of your life". That's how I approach dating, it's just more realistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 10:16 PM
5

Full paper
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 09:18 AM
1

This is in regards to LTR dating: Make match-making/dating agencies more mainstream and accessible. I think if personality is taken into consideration more (but not solely) from the start, the chances are much higher to find a compatible person. I would much rather speed date a handful guys once in a while whose personality matches with mine instead of having this endless catalogue in a dating app.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 12:04 PM
2

I tend to be attracted to men 3-8 years older than I am that are in the academic field. I also have a thing for completely bald and beard. Several men of this type have been attracted to me as well but I only really fell in love with one of them. I definitely also attract the type of guy who always get friendzoned because he's a little chubby, shy and nerdy. I think that's because I am a super friendly person who likes to engage with men without having intentions on dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 10:14 AM
2

I guess that's the thing I'll never understand, why average men with a wholesome personality would want a woman who has so little self-respect that she would have sex with this guy (after peeing herself).
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 10:14 PM
3

One more reason to stay far far far away from him!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 10:10 PM
3

I like a man bun, but yeah it's not everyone's favourite.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 10:05 PM
0

Nah it's because her vagina dried up completely.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 09:58 PM
4

How you can look good as a man but still repulse pretty much any vagina: video Summary: thinks women have to be submissive at least in public, sex has to happen within three dates, doesn't have humour, "pumped" a girl that wet herself on a date so it was still successful in his eyes, his current date does a runner because he's so awful and he thinks he was too hot for her
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 09:40 PM
3

Having a coffee together (in bed or on the sofa) and just enjoy the after-sex bliss without a ton of talking. Maybe intertwining the legs and/or holding hands. Sometimes showering together.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 06:53 PM
1

Ew
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/21 06:46 PM
4

It's just a public display of the bias and disrespect we experience while working.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/21 09:23 PM
2

Documentaries featuring scientists do, because men are still overrepresented. Talkshows and similar with experts are also great examples, where men are commonly addressed as "Dr. Last name" whereas women with a PhD are often addressed as "First name". We have this happening a lot in Germany.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/21 08:04 PM
3

I think it might br the same the other way round. I do feel quite insecure about me being not super active. Have the feeling every guy around me wants to go hiking, skiing, camping, kayaking, climbing, cycling etc every weekend. I am just a couch potato. I like my occasional excercise and a stroll through the forest/along the beach, but that doesn't seem to be exciting enough...
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 10:31 PM
1

I had 4/5 relationships start as friendships/acquaintances. Most didn't start out flirty. The one that was with a relatively new person was over in a month. The last guy I fell in love with was an acquaintance for several years as well (but he sadly was either not into me or had attachment issues). Much of my attraction to someone comes from feeling comfortable around them and knowing I am able to trust them. We are getting along great, get a little closer, and one night we are drunk making out …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 09:31 AM
3

I think it's not narcissism to say "If I couple up, I want to be happy and secure in that relationship". You see many women having had at least one bad experience where a guy strung her along without wanting to commit to her. Once you realize men will date you, "breadcrumb" you etc to keep you around for affection and sex even though they have no interest in a relationship, all strategy is to filter those dudes out that are not serious about you. So ghosting, not paying on the first date and sim…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 11:54 PM
1

We have discussions about gender equality and what actions we favour or dislike, but no one needs to throw the term "feminism" into the conversation for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 11:29 PM
2

Wish I would have the time and energy to do all that, instead I am in a pandemic trying to keep up with my work load. Damn.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 04:58 PM
4

It's sad but true, if someone would ask me I would say I am a feminist but it's not something I first and foremost identify as and have anywhere in my profiles or tell people immediately. Stigma sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 10:43 AM
2

Yeah but we are not, we really like sex haha. Just not with each other. I think it depends on situation and people if a friendship with an ex can work. Just want people to be aware that there are friendships like ours, so they are not immediately suspicious.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 10:39 AM
2

No I moved abroad just 2 years ago. When there's no sexual attraction, there is no point. We had a dead bedroom for the last half year of the relationship. I am as close to him emotionally as I am to a female friend. I have been in love with other men since and it feels completely different.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 10:29 AM
3

We went through some shit together, we don't swap out friends in a heartbeat. He is one of the few people who know about my rape and my resulting mental health problems. He opened up emotionally to me during the relationship and now I am still the person he calls first when he's going through a heartbreak because he knows he can be fully honest and emotional in front of me. We won't ever get back together, it's just clear. Can't describe how or why, it's just how it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 10:23 AM
0

I like your post. It's somebody I've known for a while, and we just suddenly happen to hang out and the sparks just start flying about beautifully, or it's somebody I just met and the attraction starts instantly. That gave me some good memories :)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 10:18 AM
5

My ex and I are best friends. The love and sexual chemistry just disappeared, so we broke up, but we have been close ever since (7 years ago). So that includes hanging out, going out for food etc. We both had new partners, and we got to know each other's. My one ex wasn't super happy about it but turned out he had massive insecurities that he also used as a reason to put me down all the time, so that relationship was lost anyway. His one ex wasn't happy at first but then we got really close and …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 10:08 AM
2

It's not that easy to talk about rape. I didn't tell anyone until 2 years after it happend. That's why you hear it more often on anonymous platforms like Reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 09:59 AM
0

There is a lot of discussion about making mask wearing in public transport more common during cold/flu season. And I think it's a good idea, I don't mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 09:44 AM
2

It’s true that when one is in love, the sexual act takes on the “making love” aspect. It enriches and brings sex to another level. This is true and I am sure most women are striving for this.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/21 09:41 AM
1

Oh I definitely think I am somewhat attractive, above average somewhere. But not very high on the rank.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/21 09:54 PM
2

My parents are still together, and the one thing that left a mark on me regarding relationships was that my father cheated on my mother and they worked it out. They are now happier than ever, and I am so glad they didn't give up even though at the time (I was in my early teens) I really wanted my mother to leave. So I think I would be less likely to immediately give up a relationship because of that, and my sister thinks similar. But as much as I love my father I also avoid any guy that has simi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/21 05:06 PM
2

I think there is a lot of nuance to leagues and levels since preferences are so different, but I guess I can estimate a rough level of attractiveness. I noticed it clearly for the first time when I was going out for dance nights with my friend (at 16yo) and no guys paid attention to me by default. They would flock to my friend without her doing anything but I had to signal interest/approach men. I am not a super low level in attractiveness as I still got good looking boyfriends and was asked out…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/21 04:51 PM
1

Yes would say so, as are men >6ft in some countries. So I think it might be a good comparison, as in the end it's just an ideal but both genders are willing to settle for less than the ideal in most cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/21 02:19 PM
3

Maybe a more realistic equivalent to height in men would be waist-hip ratio in women (if choosing would be equal). Many men state that hour-glass figure is the ideal they would like, and it is also genetically predetermined in women. I think I also have read that the woman's BMI doesn't impact how attractive she's perceived as long as she has a good waist-hip ratio, obviously overweight/obese women loose the nice hour-glass figure. Just a thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/21 10:50 AM
2

I like them too. I can't dance at all in flat shoes!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/21 09:21 AM
0

I had casual sex with several men <6ft. Two were exactly my height (5'9")
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 11:33 AM
1

Someone who says "ew" to another person is not someone you wanted to have in your life anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 11:29 AM
2

"2015, Angela Merkel let that many syrian refugees in because she wants to completely switch out the citizens of Germany". Until today I have not found a good reason why Angela Merkel would want that.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 11:01 AM
2

Penis jokes are rarely funny to women :O penis jokes are best.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/21 10:54 AM
2

Don't know if that's an American thing where you are all so caught up in work that you don't have any free time? My male best friend and I just like to hang out, play videogames, watch a movie, go out for food and talk about our feelings. He still has time to meet other friends, go workout (he's quite a serious weightlifter) and date.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/21 09:36 AM
8

I think you can set your standards however you like, you just need to be okay with the fact that no one might fit.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 06:47 PM
2

It was not the only thing I was thinking about when the question was raised if I could be attracted to him. His level of nerdiness also wasn't my cup of tea. Don't mind someone being a little nerdy but he would wear videogame socks, collect figures etc. And he's allergic to/not a fan of cats.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 06:18 PM
2

Just didn't feel real attraction. I think I was a little put off by his health/life style, he's overweight and diabetic (though type I) and he eats lots of sweets etc all the time and just doesn't seem to care.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 06:08 PM
1

Casual sex I would have a few options, talking to some guys on dating apps and so far I don't think they are really up for LTRs but they are flirting. I might have one LTR option with a guy I likely friendzoned last year (he never expressed his feelings towards me but a mutual friend gave me a hint). That's pretty much it. But also not going out and about really due to lockdown.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 10:03 AM
1

Had one about the time you wrote this. Chin-chin.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 09:17 AM
3

Do they at least have a weight filter? Bumble lets you filter by exercise, if you go "pretty much never", "sometimes" or "very often" (might be slightly different descriptions, my bumble is in German). So that might help to filter out. I think on OKCupid you can put in bodytype...
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/21 09:03 AM
1

Just last Monday I looked at my cat and started crying because she is so beautiful. Ah yes period incoming. I don't get mean/angry but that's likely because I struggle to feel anger anyway, I am just a little less patient maybe.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/21 10:40 AM
3

I think 95% of me is all about the fun, 5% hope to make out with someone. Not interested in sex, just kissing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 02:42 PM
2

It's because companies don't want to advertise in subs like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 08:02 AM
3

5'7" would be great, I am a little annoyed being 5'9". Most leggings are too short.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/21 01:03 AM
4

Oh god that looks so painful. I think my vagina just closed up seeing that. I don't want them touching my cervix. Girth, we need girth.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 11:54 AM
1

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/21 07:04 PM
2

The first time round I get why she considered forgiving him because we have seen our parents get over some cheating, and they have a baby as well. But now she didn't want him back, she just wanted him to be honest about his feelings. She is filing for divorce on her own now.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/21 01:34 PM
5

My brother in law is such a prick. He cheated on my sister, when she wanted to forgive him and asked if he wanted to leave the side chick and save the marriage he said "he doesn't know", so my sister kicked him out. Now he has been with the new one for 8 months and when my sister asked him if they should then proceed with the divorce now he said "he doesn't know". W T F. I feel a little bit for the side chick who thought he actively chose her.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/21 12:59 PM
1

I am not sure that attractiveness was ever their problem, it's more the mindset that they had before. I am not crazy attractive (maybe a 6?) and I never had that many bad experiences. But I always lived the way "better single than in a shitty relationship" and I think they didn't before finding FDS.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/21 09:41 AM
1

Yeah it's definitely not realistic! Alone because they match based on similarity of a (specific pheromone) gene, while attraction would be more likely if they are different to avoid inbreeding. But I find the thought experiment quite interesting to have one specific match that's the true love, and how much sense it makes to leave a relationship for that (do we deserve the one biggest love? Is that similar to the hypergamy TRP talks about?)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 11:38 PM
0

Anyone else watching "The One" on Netflix? Might be interesting for PPD. People get matched with their one true love based on their genetics. Quite interesting scenario, on the one hand dating life is made much easier, on the other hand there seems to be only one match and people dying/disappearing causes their partners to obviously grieve tremendously and not find new love again. Previous marriages break because one of them found their match and leaves.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 06:42 PM
1

Very nihilistic to want a minimum wage. Yes they are. The voices in your head? Okay
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 12:35 AM
–

Just saw bitterness that I got tired of. Couldn't care less about plattdeutsch etc. Languages and cultures evolve. You can accept that but do your part in preserving what's important to you, so if it's worth it it will persevere. No one is stopping you
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 12:24 AM
2

Even if no one sees you as creepy, it'll negatively affect your reputation in the group because people will still gossip about you being the guy who hits on women and got rejected. And if you get laid, then people will gossip about your dating life with the girl. The girl will tell everyone what you're like in bed, your penis size, etc. How old are the people you talk about, 13? I dated, got hit on and was rejected within two different social circles and it was never a problem, we were all respe…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 07:33 PM
2

Germans know they have lost their culture and identity You just mocked German language and now cry about countries losing their identity? The mental gymnastics happening here... If culture and identity keeps around is up to the people and how they raise their children, if they don't want to make it part of their life, that's their decision. As long as we'll dance on ceilidhs they will persist, so go dance after lockdown. You could use some fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 01:24 PM
2

I am a German, I did BSc/MSc there but doing my PhD in Scotland currently. Wild to see the tuitions people have to pay for higher education elsewhere. We have student loans in Germany for living costs but they are only paid back half.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 01:04 PM
2

Sorry, most people are in the US here which is why I assumed. But the UK might have a similar problem, the voting system doesn't really represent the people's votes in the parliament (though I get why the MPs are a practical thing) which is why small parties have almost no chance to take part in the government. In comparison to you I didn't "shit" on any country, I just stated a thought. You are the aggressive and rude person in this conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 01:01 PM
3

Guess you are talking about the US? They seem to not care about people. Look at healthcare alone, prices for medication etc. There are tons of countries doing it better and the US ignores them. The German government also pays 12 months maternity leave so the mother has time to bond with the child and the employer has her usual salary to pay for a person to cover the position. We don't have tuition in our universities. And Germany really isn't a loser country.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 12:54 PM
1

The Netherlands have had minimum wage for ages (my parents worked on that in the 70s) and this has never been a problem. Now Germany has the minimum wage since 2015 and cost of living (food etc) didn't go up more than usually expected. Rent, which is the highest expense, is still depending much more on the area you live in while the minimum wage is the same everywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 12:41 PM
1

Lefty guilt merchants Not sure what you mean by this, but I guess it's some form of left extremism. I think the US system really fosters extremist views, while Germany for example has more center parties or even coalitions between opposing parties trying to find compromise.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 12:33 PM
1

Though I agree that her behaviour seems to be neither great or smart (I would never rely on a man without being married), I am wondering why he is so okay/quick with just cutting the ties with a child he's been around for 8 years. He's not even trying to save the relationship (we don't know if she has cheated), so doesn't make him look like a great guy as well. Weird couple.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 12:06 PM
4

For me yes. Dated a guy who was against minimum wage and had several other capitalist view points that turned me off immediately.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 11:48 AM
2

It's weird, but I feel that way. I am 5'9 and when I lived in Portugal I was taller than most people, I just felt overall massive. Now in Scotland I am still taller than the average man (5'7), also annoying. Love being back in Germany and being surrounded by tall people.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 11:38 AM
1

Possibly but I would have much less chances since I had less experience. I applied for some jobs in these fields (but only like 10) and a few PhDs, and only got the PhD position I am in now. Not sure what I would have gotten if I tried longer.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/21 04:26 PM
1

I will likely do 1-2 years postdoc continuing with my research and then either do lab/research management or policy work. Since most of these options are public jobs (in Germany) I won't ever make lots of money but will have a comfortable income.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/21 04:14 PM
3

having an infant turned out to be much more stressful that he'd imagined Same with my brother in law who instead preferred to "work late" and bang a different woman. So my sister filed for divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/21 04:06 PM
3

Agree with this. I am doing my PhD not for the title, but because I enjoy the research and impact it has. A career in academia sadly doesn't allow you to really enjoy research when you are not willing to move every two years and teach a lot, so I am not sure I'll stay in it for long. And I am sure as hell not doing a PhD in a conservation-related field for the money, there is none. But right now it's what makes me happy. PPD somehow thinks ambition and happiness always have to be money/status-re…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/21 09:51 AM
1

I would say it's one-sided, for me it's like the pre-stage to falling in love with someone. Chemistry on the other hand is mutual but also doesn't have to end in love.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/21 03:45 PM
4

when a woman says this, it is just an excuse for a man not meeting her standards Not in my personal experience. I have dated guys checking all my boxes, but there was just something missing. I just wasn't feeling they are the right person for me. Meanwhile with other men who have not been 100% perfect, I just had NO DOUBT AT ALL that I want to be with them. That's what I call the spark. Also, I did not hear anything like that from a man yet. I also have dated men who told me I am everything they…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/21 03:31 PM
1

Yes same experience here. I would always have to distinguish between "a general 1-10" and a "personal 1-10".
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 12:35 PM
0

Anyone can hate on me or call me shallow that I want a man at least my height and Id feel masculine dating a 5ft 4 man. Kind of agree with that, and add that for similar reasons I also don't like very slim men. I want them at least my height (5'9") and I don't want to be bigger than them, but obviously don't want them to be fat. I admit that this is more about me being insecure about my own body (got healthy weight but body dysmorphia, I think I am fat), and I want to be made feel feminine/petit…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 12:32 PM
1

Oh god I just looked into the details... 40% of 20-39 year olds are classified as obese, 9% severely. I know that BMI isn't the holy grail but only 50% being in a healthy range isn't a great sign.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/21 12:29 PM
1

But isn't the problem with using average/mean in this case that you can go very very far upwards but not downwards? So if you have a few morbidly obese in there they are really skewing the whole thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/21 11:42 AM
3

Him feeling guilty doesn't do anything when he's not acting on it (apologizing/stopping it).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/21 11:09 AM
2

Also, hooking up with women who are in love with you is easy but kinda sad Please be a kind person and stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/21 11:04 AM
0

Aw man, that's unfortunate how your engagement turned out. Sorry to hear that. But you are far from old, don't give up hope! I have my fingers crossed you'll find someone to explore museums with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 11:51 AM
3

Have you ever tried to approach someone in a gallery? Might be the easiest place to find someone like-minded. Or look for people that join you on a museum trip on pages like meetup.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 11:27 AM
3

I totally get it! My best date so far was going to an exhibition about mountains. There were photographs of different mountains and native people living there etc. It was great just walking through, chatting about what you see, what it reminds you of. I think it's a great choice for a first date.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/21 11:16 AM
2

Well men admit it, their most popular reason for cheating is "the appeal of something new" (38%). Also, if no woman ever admits to this, how do YOU know that's their reason? Can you read minds?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 06:24 PM
2

I have always been looking for LTRs. Casual sex happened inbetween (rebound, dating someone that doesn't lead to something more serious, recovering from a bad relationship so just having a FWB etc).
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 11:31 AM
4

Same. He strung me along with mixed messages and gave me hope the whole time just to disappoint me over and over. Finally told him to stop contacting me because his behaviour had destroyed any trust I have. I know there are many kind men out there, but he opened my eyes that some people seem to be good but actually have no consideration for others' feelings when they have something to gain.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 11:29 AM
6

My parents were together 11 years before they married, and they didn't make a big thing out of it. It was a marriage for practical reasons (security when she becomes SAHM etc). So they were just like well yeah we want to buy a house now and start having children in a year, should we get this done? Yeah okay. Real romance 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 11:10 AM
0

I feel sorry for them likely inheriting my flat butt, those genes are strong in all my family. I hope I find a man with good butt genes.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 11:04 AM
4

Study in Germany says: Because they are unhappy in their relationship (52%), because they are not getting enough affection from their current partner (33%). The study also showed that between 30-50 years old women cheat more than men. 1). They get no social validation from cheating That's not the goal? 2). Women often complain they don’t orgasm from casual sex. Orgasm isn't the one and only thing that matters. 3). They lower their value by having an additional n counts. Most women (people actual…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 10:54 AM
1

Conflict-avoidant people come in all shapes. Just start an argument with a woman and observe. If they are super uncomfortable and try hard to de-escalate, flee, try to stear the conversation away, shut down completely, don't look you in the eyes, maybe cry, that's what avoiding conflict looks like. I was like this a couple years ago, I would just get rapid heart palpitations and start crying when someone started a full-on argument with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/21 11:07 PM
1

I fear many here haven't experienced it and therefore can't appreciate it, which is totally fair. And I worry that men who swallowed the red pill will never be able to enjoy it as they'll doubt and question it the whole time.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/21 11:38 AM
1

It's more the alone part that is a problem. The friends are just not available that much, live in different cities/countries, don't have the same energy as before etc. When we were studying we went out at least twice a month, that's just dying down when you have a (somewhat demanding) job.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/21 09:03 AM
2

Women often try to avoid conflict or lengthy arguments. Before some start a full on argument with a guy who's asking for sex over and over, they rather just give him the 5 minutes and get it over with (if the woman is not really actively participating, I doubt he goes longer). It's for some less of a hassle, but she still didn't want the sex. I know women who did that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/21 12:55 AM
13

He just needs to keep drinking in public (i.e. get out and go where his type of people are socializing). He doesn't drink as he gets rashes from alcohol. Regarding the socializing, most of us have kind of moved on to a different life style as we are not studying anymore, so none are going out that often (and you don't want to be a lonely single 30s dude in the club). Now he's currently unemployed and living with his parents because his planned PhD didn't work out due to funding, also not a great…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/21 12:01 AM
2

Yes exactly this. I am on the fence about kids, but an intimate loving companionship is amazing. Feeling loved and being comfortable with this other person in regards to everything is the best. I miss having that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 09:56 PM
1

Fully agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 09:00 PM
1

What is relevant is that in these two cases (chemically harming the baby vs not paying child support), somehow only one raises concerns over childrens' "freedom and opportunities". That's quite the exaggeration. I would say that drug abuse during the pregnancy might not be punishable by the law, but it's highly shamed. Women are already shamed for literally everything they do as a mother and practically can't do right (swaddling/not swaddling, working/not working, breastfeeding/not breastfeeding…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 08:32 PM
90

I have friend (30m) that IMO is above average in looks, is friendly, funny, smart. But he is a virgin because he's shy and doesn't approach women. In our mid twenties we went out partying quite often and he didn't get any female attention 99% of the time. That's where I as a woman just have a massive advantage. I just needed to give a few guys a deep look and a smile and eventually someone would dance with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 07:46 PM
2

That's why there are already specific rules in place, and there are ethical committees discussing this in regard to IVF for example. In Germany a OBGYN doesn't tell you the sex in the first 12 weeks even if they can see it already.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 12:01 PM
4

Please invite them to a date where you do the deep conditioning treatment together. I would love it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 11:34 AM
2

I don't like exercise apart from some casual cardio and badminton, but my butt is flat as hell. Do I get to resent men now for liking butts? Where is the flat butt love? :(
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 11:30 AM
2

Why are women who chose to recklessly harm and damage fetuses during pregnancy (alcohol, drugs, ...) not punished? That's a good point. I think the problem is the nuances as a tiny bit of alcohol doesn't do damage, so it's hard to draw a line. In Germany it's punishable if you purposely drink in order to kill the child, but not if you just drank for your own enjoyment. Which ties into the next point. Why is it more severe than baseline murder to kill a woman if she's pregnant, but less severe to…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 11:14 AM
6

From the perspective of a single woman 29yo: I won't need children to be happy in my life, so I won't force it. I only would like children if the right man comes along, and then we'll try it. If I struggle to conceive with 35+, the likelihood is high I would also have struggled to conceive when younger. Then that's just how it is. And I think the chances of birth defects when I am 35-40 are still much slimmer than the failure rate of IVF. So not really a point in betting on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/21 09:59 AM
3

Sexual chemistry.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 04:28 PM
2

For me there is a very clear difference. I have been in romantic love with men, and I have very good male friends as well as had FWBs with which I am close but have no romantic feelings for.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 04:27 PM
2

I don't really crush on a guy before we actually get very close, and then sex is mostly happening quite soon. But I am doing what you describe currently with a tinder match because we are into each other but can't meet up due to lockdown. We have been talking for a month with several video calls and had phone sex the other day.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 09:49 AM
5

Ambition doesn't need to be money-driven? Look at academic careers. Researchers are super ambitious but are not paid well (if they are not in hot shot fields of engineering or medicine). And if men are afraid of gold-diggers, it might be worth to look for women who are financially stable but don't care about having a lot of money.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 09:46 AM
4

Yeah I don't get some of it, you can't make them see a different perspective if their arguments or thoughts can't be debated. The other day I mentioned a man I really fell in love with and someone asked if he had features like 6'/deep voice/broad shoulders etc and that comment was deleted because it's "incel talk". My reply had been that the man didn't have many of those features 🤷
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/21 10:36 AM
2

Ahahaha sorryyyy :D
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/21 12:02 AM
3

Mit bestimmten Labormethoden geht das :) Eine Promotion schlaucht definitiv, weil man eigentlich nie aufhört über seine Forschung nachzudenken. Ich hab manchmal die beste Motivation an einem Samstagabend, dann wird halt gearbeitet. Ist schon okay weil ich meine Forschung echt mag und mein Team super ist, aber weiß noch nicht ob ich in der Forschung bleiben will nach der Promotion.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 10:30 PM
2

Die genetischen Daten die inzwischen generiert werden können nicht mehr händisch oder mit alter Software ausgewertet werden. Für nen simplen Vaterschaftstest kannst du 13 Stellen in der DNA anschauen, aber für medizinische Zwecke und ähnliches guckt man sich heutzutage 4,000-12,000 Stellen im Genom an, das geht dann halt nicht mehr mit bloßem Auge und R Scripte und co müssen nachhelfen. Ich stelle u.a. für bestimmte Fragestellungen die passenden Auswertungswege zusammen.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 09:56 PM
2

Hahaha da gibt's sehr vielfältige Möglichkeiten. Bin im Bereich Bioinformatik ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 09:41 PM
2

Nee ich promoviere in Biologie. Meine Schwester ist aber Ärztin, daher hab ich viel davon mitbekommen!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 09:37 PM
1

Agree. I have met a few guys in my life who I found really unattractive but they have a girlfriend. But there are likely more who are not very successful, and I also know several guys I deem attractive who are unsuccessful.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 07:15 PM
1

True, was thinking more of the cheap copies you can buy at primark a year later.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 05:21 PM
2

Uuh maybe there is hope for male contraceptives.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 05:02 PM
2

Ja Kostengründe auf jeden Fall, und auch sowas wie Leichenverfügbarkeit für Anatomiekurse (kein Witz).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 03:43 PM
2

Ja glaube man muss schon selbst als Deutscher in Deutschland studiert haben um es in diesem Detail zu wissen haha
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 03:37 PM
3

Yes I am ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 03:34 PM
2

If you go to a country like Germany that number is more like 30% But that's because Germany has a very established apprenticeship system that many people opt for instead of university. After three years of working with some pay+additional education they get a title/professional job qualification (examples: nurses, kindergarten teachers, mechanics, administrative assistants, retailers, IT specialists, librarians etc etc etc)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 01:45 PM
3

To add to the other comment, it depends on subject how hard it is to get in once you have the basic qualification (Abitur or other routes). The Numerus Clausus is the minimum overall grade you will likely need to have in your Abitur to get immediately into a study programme. That's not a requirement of the study programme, it's resulting from the applicants and the university filling all seats with the best ones. So it can change every year with popularity of the programme. For medicine it's lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 01:25 PM
1

"swim wear" yeah right more like "laying on the beach tanning hoping a man will buy me a cold drink wear"
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/21 11:52 AM
2

Another reason the imperial system sucks. 90 60 90 is way more catchy
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 10:19 AM
1

It was the first date after matching on Tinder, didn't continue dating them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 08:37 AM
1

Yeah I live in what I call the "dating desert" currently haha. I have many single female colleagues who feel the same, and whenever a decent looking guy joins our department he's snatched away within weeks. I dated three guys in three years, and I only felt attraction to one. It was easier when I lived in a populated area in Germany. The "one a year" was meant kind of average, in one year being single in Germany, going out regularly and actively looking, I would probably meet about.. three.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 11:34 PM
10

1 in every 10 or 20 men God I wish. I think I feel some attraction about once a year (where I am open to flirt etc). The last time I met someone and had a real spark, like A LOT of attraction where I want to jump him immediately, was 3 years ago. Currently chatting with a match from tinder who could be the next one buuut lives far away so can't tell yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 11:21 PM
2

Really good point to bring up! I think many people regard the fact that men are getting sex as enough (and people in this sub are definitely supporting this perspective), but it should obviously be an experience where both parties enjoy it and feel cherished. I think I never thought twice about that because it's just natural to me that you want to have fun together and therefore do things the other one likes.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 08:50 PM
1

The thing about casual sex is, women expect men to be competent and "dominant", guys don't know how far they are going to get if they stop and ask questions. Meanwhile, I suppose men expect women to be submissive and yielding, so women don't know how the guy is going to react if she starts talking about likes and dislikes. Oh that's an interesting thought. Sounds like these people are worrying a lot and not really having fun...
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 11:41 AM
5

Thanks for the reply! Very insightful. I am very selective about who I spend time with, so I tend to cut selfish people out pretty quickly. This is my approach as well, which is why I wonder about these things. I knew all my casual sex partners before and was sure they cared, which is why I wonder if women's bad experience with casual sex would cease if they would be stricter in this.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 11:33 AM
4

A lot of guys don't know how to go down properly on a lady, don't know much about the g-spot, or that sometimes it takes a (sensual) while to get women revved up. Yeah I think that's common but wonder if they really don't care or if they are not sure how to ask how to improve/if women are too shy to state their preferences. I still struggle communicating what I like. But I don't doubt that some really don't care.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 11:03 AM
2

I guess with success you mean quantity? Or do you mean having any casual sex ever? Have you ever wondered if sex would be more pleasurable for you if you know she is enjoying it?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/21 10:58 AM
11

My wording definitely sucked in my OP. I meant with spark and attraction "deep romantic feelings". I was physically attracted (as I also stated in another comment) but more in a FWB way.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 08:34 PM
3

Mine sadly also didn't work out, and after three years back and forth with life logistics not aligning I gave up and cut contact. Hope you'll get luckier!!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 08:23 PM
4

But it doesn't happen for everyone you meet. That TRP doesn't understand this distinction makes me laugh Haha yes that's what I thought reading that comment! It's also night-and-day compared to the women I did So true. I was wondering if I even know what love feels like, until I fell in love again a few years later. No doubts at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 08:16 PM
3

I definitely didn't have any sexual attraction to my friend in highschool for three years. But people are likely different in developing that, so we both might be right.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 08:10 PM
5

While I agree that divorce statistics look quite scary and make one wonder if true love is dead, I am also almost relieved when I see threads like this that just show that people are marrying that were never meant to be together.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 07:27 PM
11

I absolutely believe it is possible that attraction/love can grow, but I believe this needs to happen when you are in a friendship/in the dating phase. I fell in love with someone in highschool after we had been good friends for 3 years. In the matter of two weeks our feelings just completely changed and we got together once we were sure about our feelings. But based on my experience with the other ex I will never enter a relationship with someone again where I don't feel secure in my feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 07:22 PM
16

I felt attraction, but it just wasn't the big love. He felt like something between FWB and love to me. I thought the love would grow but instead my romantic and physical feelings slowly faded, especially after we moved in together. But yeah then you live together, have a cat etc etc and breaking up sucks, and even more when you care about the other person. Edit: also deadbedroomed him the last half year and told him I am unsure about my feelings. He was still shocked when I broke up, saying "I t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 06:49 PM
11

If he wouldn't have looked good I wouldn't have dated him in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 05:50 PM
14

Some selective reading going on where you just ignore that I wrote he treated me well, was nice, helpful and funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 05:45 PM
36

I kind of "settled" once for someone I didn't really love. He looks great, he's nice and helpful, he is funny. But somehow I just didn't feel the spark (for me, the absence of doubt that I want to be with the person), and I hoped the attraction would grow while we are together. The relationship lasted 2 years, I noticed more and more lifestyle incompatibilities (politics, environmental consciousness etc) but he still was a good-looking guy treating me well. We had our squabbles but nothing major…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 05:20 PM
14

Yeah because everyone else tells us we should look pretty, be married and having kids. So obviously that external pressure affects how we see ourselves. I try to see my self-worth in my work (conservation/sustainable development) and by being a good friend and family member. Still think I would be worth more if I would be super attractive, but it's not as bad anymore as 10 years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/21 09:33 AM
4

Yes. I do think it's likely easier for me to find a relationship than it is for a guy, but I have been single for over 5 years and I am sure it's linked to my insecurities (I don't like putting myself out there because I think I am too fat to date).
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 04:13 PM
3

I have had body dysmorphia since I was 16, I think I am fat and disgusting but my BMI has never been higher than 22. It definitely has me struggling with dating because I am insecure and whenever it doesn't work out I tell myself it's because I am fat. But I have had relationships and just told myself they like me being fat. I tend to talk too much about being too big and needing to lose weight, but as long as they would regularly compliment me "I like your body" etc it would reassure me and I w…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/21 10:53 AM
1

I am obviously biased because I am foreign myself but I think it's useful to have a mixed group where an outside perspective is brought in. Obviously the argument should be better than "I am German" but I think it's useful to share experiences that make it obvious some problems lay within US society, not the "biology" of genders or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/21 09:56 AM
3

Just because there's an approximately equal amount of men and women doesn't mean they have to get together. You can chose to stay alone instead of lowering your standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/21 09:40 AM
6

I am expressing quite often here that I like sex. I also have had sex after 1-3 dates with men I found attractive even though I didn't see it necessarily going somewhere. Else I wouldn't have had sex in over 5 years. A guy who doesn't want me after we had sex probably wouldn't have wanted me if I waited. As long as I don't feel shame for my n-count which obviously steadily increases with my current dating life, this is the way to go for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 01:04 AM
1

I message first once in a while but since I have seen that many men basically swipe right on almost all women to get any match I don't really want to. Them messaging first shows me they are actually interested in me (I am a little insecure, so that helps a lot).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 11:06 PM
2

When you live in a quite secluded area you don't have that many matches. And I feel British men are just giving way less of a shit about their appearance. Where I live 55% of adult men in my age bracket (25-34) are overweight. Crooked teeth are common. Average male height is 5'7 and I am 5'9. I currently have 48 matches, 11 messaged me of that. I am picky because I want someone with healthy weight (don't need a six pack or anything), straight teeth, at least as tall as me, somewhat attractive fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 08:35 AM
1

As the person who made the jeans comment, I might reply here as well. I think my preferences are realistic in my home country (Germany) because I didn't have troubles finding dates/partners before who I am attracted to. They don't necessarily had the typical features men here think are most important. I prefer a cuddly (not overweight though) guy over a six pack, I don't mind them bald, I like them at least 5'10 because I am 5'9. But a bad clothing style is a huge turn off for me, while there is…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 08:21 AM
2

Relatively picky but I never had troubles to find dates in my home country (Germany). Now I live in the north of Scotland and you rarely meet anyone interesting here.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 01:09 AM
-1

Swiped left on a guy today because he was wearing very loose and unflattering jeans. Probably picked by his mother. He looked good apart from that, but can't deal with a guy who has no sense of dressing himself nicely.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 12:31 AM
1

It's academica so it will probably fuck harder with my life than a divorce eventually. Still loving it though.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/21 05:13 PM
2

Tried that for the last 2½ years, three first dates, only one guy developed into a FWB. That was it. Dating desert!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/21 05:12 PM
1

I don't know if I should prioritize career or finding love. I am in the dating desert doing work I am passionate about, and I am discussing with my supervisor to stay here 2 years longer. I would give me amazing experience and much better chances in the job market in my home country. But my singleness might continue another 2 years. What should I do?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/21 11:14 AM
1

Feminists used Alpha 3-5 years ago in the media as a way of mocking politicians. Yeah to mock, so they probably didn't come up with the term. In Germany we make jokes about the genetically very disadvantaged right-wing politicians because they are not the "alpha" or "superrace" that their politics and the whole former Nazisystem are based on.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/21 11:05 AM
2

Oh yeah there is a reason for sure, just not exactly sure what. I think she might have a liking for guys who are "projects" or something. And also might get bored too quickly.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/21 07:09 PM
1

Hometown girlfriends group, all late 20s, mixed bag: One married to her LTR of 10 years (had 2 LTRs before), one just broke up with her LTR of 13 years (her only), one is a serious serial monogamist who has been in a lot of short relationships since she was 16, and I have had a handful LTRs with several months inbetween but have been single for 5 years, so I am probably the most "unsuccessful" though I have been dating, just didn't find the right guy yet. The third one is the one I probably comp…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/21 05:01 PM
2

When you keep making excuses for things they do that hurt you Oh yes... "He is just busy, that's why he doesn't reply to my messages for days" "He probably doesn't like to make a fuss out of his birthday, that's why he cancelled our get-together"
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/21 09:49 AM
4

A little bit of nervousness is okay, I am super nervous on first dates and it has nothing to do with me not being confident or thinking he's out of my league. I think a small portion of social anxiety (like I definitely have) is acceptable, as long as he eventually warms up. I should maybe add that I see the first date mostly as "getting to know each other" to see if we even like another, have stuff to talk about etc. Romantic thoughts don't really start for me before the second or third date.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/21 09:35 AM
3

If the head shape is okay I actually fancy bald guys. And none of those I dated was older than 34.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 09:14 PM
2

Not talking about men wanting a relationship. Hell how refreshing would it be to have a man clearly stating "I am interested in a relationship with you".
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/21 10:41 AM
3

I learned to tell women upfront what I was looking for, and if we were looking for different things, then to respect her preferences and not pressure into anything she's not comfortable with. Ironically, a lot of women who were on the fence seemed intrigued by my honest approach and ended up being down for something casual. I can actually imagine that very well. There is nothing more annoying than a guy who can't express what he wants, and too many seem to be pretending they want a relationship …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/21 08:51 AM
1

I sent valentine's cards out to my female friends abroad, one friend will get a surprise package of chocolate and tomorrow I'll meet with my local friends for a day of donuts, romcoms and takeaway.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 10:04 AM
1

There might be a significant portion of women that have been discouraged from pursuing this field by teachers and other persons in their life, which weighs probably heavier than some initiatives. It definitely happens, I just don't know how big the portion is (and therefore its significance)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 09:58 AM
0

Isn't that likely because there are few women in their environment? Friend of mine studied engineering and there were two women in his class of 50 people. So for four years all these guys didn't meet more women in the place where they spent most of their time. Meanwhile in biology you have about 50:50 in university and you see biologist couples everywhere (personal experience).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 09:51 AM
2

Same. I like casual sex but when I am in love with someone the whole thing is mind-blowing.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 09:26 AM
1

Ehm I was 8 at the time. My father had me with 35.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 02:18 PM
1

There are many examples in higher class as well. Our family is UMC and my father was about to leave us behind in his early 40s. He got himself together again and came back but that definitely left a mark on me. My sister and brother in law are doctors and he pretty much didn't care about my nephew for the first 6 months, instead preferred to screw a nurse at work. I think many men highly underestimate how much work and responsibility a child is and they are overwhelmed, while a woman, who is car…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 10:29 AM
1

Just wanted to chime in "hey I have been single for 5 years and I am normal" and then realized I had to get over a legit bad relationship and now live in a kind of a rural area. Damn
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 10:12 AM
2

I also like sex without an orgasm. Else I would never have sex because I don't orgasm during sex, like many other women don't do as well. But boy do I miss having a dick inside me (we are at 14 months without ..)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 10:05 AM
3

Don't know if that counts as shitty but I once took advantage of being a blonde young woman, I still feel a little guilty about it. I needed to get something done at the registry office where they handle IDs/passports etc and I didn't have a lot of time to take a number and wait for several hours. So I smiled veeery brightly at the guy at reception and he just grinned and told me "yeah go to room no. 5, tell my friend Nick in there hi from me" and I got my stuff done in 5 minutes while there wer…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 09:59 AM
2

Most women I’ve encountered in real life don’t even know what Reddit is... I didn't know until last year... Spent then whole lockdown scrolling and lurking around, endless entertainment in a pandemic!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/21 12:23 AM
7

There is some truth in this. Between my relationships I always had one sexual partner that didn't work out or was honestly a rebound. But after my last relationship ended I just didn't meet anyone with whom it worked out, so I had casual or dating sex with 9 guys since then.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 09:09 PM
0

Didn't see that argument anywhere. I mostly saw stuff like "sex drive is the evolutional pressure to reproduce with many females. You liking sex and being horny is not a sex drive" and ignoring repeated definitions saying sex drive is "desire for sexual activity".
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 12:49 PM
7

Thought something similar just yesterday when I read the conversation lower down in this thread where a guy says women don't have a sex drive (like, none at all) because they are not thirsty hitting on anything that walks past them. Patient women telling him low sex drive is still a sex drive but no, "If they had any sex drive they would behave like men!"
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 10:20 AM
1

I honestly think they were all on my level, though maybe objectively in the beginning two might have been considered lower than I am but they developed during the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 10:51 AM
1

Really? I don't know any woman who really likes having casual sex with different guys in a short time span, more like serial FWBs... I don't have the energy for more than one, I had to stop seeing my last FWB because with us meeting two times a week I didn't really have the motivation to date (not because I wanted a relationship with him, I just didn't have more time/energy).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 12:06 AM
2

exclusive friends with benefits arrangement Don't know about others but this is only an option for me when both parties are not interested in long-term. As soon as one person actually wants a relationship, like it is the case for OP, feelings will get hurt and it's smarter to not do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 10:44 PM
3

No. I only want a relationship in which I have no doubt the other person wants to be with me long-term and I think the same. If only one person is interested in that, we stop dating. When we both haven't fallen for each other, we can consider being FWBs (had a 9 months "situationship" like that for example).
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 10:35 PM
6

There are many forms of male (and also female) privilege. Assuming a man and a woman apply for the same job, no matter which, and they are both 30 years old and have a young child. Who do you think will be hired? It will just be assumed that whenever the kid is sick or similar, the mother will stay home and not the father. Or that she will get pregnant again. I am 29 and single but already dread the process of applying for jobs end of this year because they will wonder, and I feel pressured to r…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 08:39 PM
3

It's called hypoagency vs hyperagency. Our society is gynocentric and we have bought into the lie that women are victims of everything around them and any ill that befalls a woman isn't REALLY her fault. It's the fault of external factors outside of her control. This is hypoagency. Men, however, are assigned hyperagency. That no matter the situation, surely he did something to cause it and he should suffer the consequences of his actions. Also male disposability. Women are given innate value jus…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 04:33 PM
1

And you know that based on what? I care about people, no matter the gender. I know not everyone feels that way, but it's just plain wrong to assume women wouldn't care about men other than their family members just because of their gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 03:53 PM
2

I dont think women care about the basic wellbeing of men either. Well that's sad that you believe this.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 10:45 AM
1

But there is a difference between women being picky and others not caring about basic wellbeing of people (regarding the racist and immigration examples).
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 10:39 AM
1

As long as they give fair compensation (like a minimum wage). Apart from that I agree. Just wondering why you are talking about feelings getting hurt.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 09:56 AM
4

Women in the smp: "Why yes, of course I want what is best for me. Doesnt everyone? I have the power to get what I want and im going to get it, other people's feelings be damned". How are women hurting anyone's feelings by being picky? Apart from plain rude people but that's not all women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/21 09:46 AM
4

None of my relationships came from a man approaching me, they emerged from being friends and eventually getting closer. I actually think it might make it easier for me because more men were able to just have female friends without thinking of them just as sex objects.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/21 06:09 PM
1

there is a lot of guy who don't take advantage of their "plate", it is consensual as the man does not extract sex. Though I absolutely believe there are guys just having honest and open casual sex relationships, when looking at redpill discussions the ones using manipulation techniques and not caring at all about the opposite's feelings are looking like a majority. I guess then we both agree that people should a) not complain about shitty behaviour if they act shitty themselves b) refrain from b…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/21 03:56 PM
2

I am not the one who thinks you can put love or attraction coins into a woman and kinky sex falls out.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/21 03:32 PM
4

As a woman I understand why he is a little upset/disappointed, but I also think he should let it go. How much we like a man (attractiveness, love, appreciation) has not much to do with what we are willing to do with him sexually, it depends on what we like ourselves. I don't like giving bjs, no matter how much I love a man, but did it in the past because I thought I should try it and that it's kind of a necessary part of sex life. But I changed my mind about that, and the last men I dated never …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/21 10:39 AM
2

If you bet half of all your money, assets, etc on bet you have even 30% to loose, would you do it? Don't know about the US, in Germany the divorced partners split all assets that were generated during the marriage. So you are mostly not loosing all money and assets as most people have some savings etc before they marry. Again, 50% chance, don't think it's bad odds. women have option and orbiters I stated before, AWALT is crap. 1. I don't really know women that have "orbiters". I am really not ug…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/21 10:14 AM
4

Would you do it if you had to jump from a building to another and knew you would have let's say 30% of falling and dying? Idk. Proved my point regarding exaggerating.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/21 09:35 AM
10

For every 85 cents western governments spends on women, they spend 5 cents on men. Source? Composition? The rest of your comment is just... Wow. Relax my dude. I won't try to imagine why people did things during war time, as I have never been a war situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/21 08:50 AM
8

I doubt any significant amount of people plan to rely on the government. But hardship can hit anyone. By the way in Germany 55% of people getting unemployment benefits are men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/21 08:19 AM
0

TRP is overexaggerating most things and tries to use it to justify their own shitty behaviour (e.g. entertaining "plates" and especially calling them like that! Yuck). AWALT is crap and has nothing to do with love life. It's also just pessimistic. Divorce rate is 50%. How about you fucking try to be the 50% that makes it. When you look at all the dysfunctional marriages on reddit looking for advice, it doesn't seem to be that hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/21 07:02 AM
4

I am on the fence about kids but still want to marry because that makes me and him family. Not only us two but it also makes us part of each others' families properly.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 11:37 PM
11

I mostly took from TRP that I will immediately ditch a guy who seems to play games/hold me at arms length etc. Prefer to be single than with a guy who doesn't trust me and my love and who tries to manipulate me to get dependend on his affection. My last relationship was like this and it completely destroyed me, I didn't think there is a movement that tells men to do it on purpose. I lost some faith and trust, usually I believe in the best in people but I have seen so many guys here talking about…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 09:19 PM
2

I call men sweet interchangeably with kind. So it's very sweet/kind that they picked me up, that they helped me carry something, that they chose a restaurant with lots of vegetarian options etc. It's a good thing in my vocabulary.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/21 01:24 AM
1

I also never experienced a woman branch swing. Me and my girlfriends all had several months between a break up (that we often initiated) and meeting a new person.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 05:34 PM
3

I just hope love to be more important than money (I am very idealistic and romantic sadly). But yeah if she thinks she will resent him eventually for it, she should break up. I also think he might take that step because he's not really happy with her nagging. My sister (friends with him) and I are kind of waiting for it to explode.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 05:23 PM
7

He ticks all the boxes apart from the money one, and she sees very well through other people "what's out there". Nothing more off-turning than me and other friends telling her our dating stories. She knows very well that she won't have much better options, finding a guy with his personality/looks + well-paying career is like playing the lottery.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 05:03 PM
4

Love? Crazy idea I know. They have been together >10 years and I do think they value each other a lot, know each other very well, they are very close. I think there might also a portion of worry about the consequences, being single for the first time in her life, reaction of family and friends (everyone is super understanding but they would just be sad).
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 04:57 PM
32

I am the one telling my friend she should stop complaining about her boyfriend not being more ambitious and rich. He's a great loving guy who's working as carer for the elderly, he enjoys the job and his purpose, additionally he's good looking, fun, very mature and assertive. But she worries about not being able to "go skiing every year" with the family. I don't get it at all. He was her first and only btw.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 02:06 PM
3

Seeed - Music Monks Thanks for the instant "Release" Ohrwurm
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 09:52 AM
1

Genetics/Bioinformatics
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/21 12:48 PM
1

I got drunk and went partying quite often age 16-25, but I didnt have sex with strangers because of it. I definitely danced with strangers and made out with them (I enjoy kissing) but that was it. The one time a party situation resulted in casual sex was the birthday party of my brother in law who introduced me to a friend, and I went home with him. Never expected that to go anywhere (but enjoyed the sexual tension when we saw each other again)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/21 09:48 AM
3

Here me doing PhD in STEM and liking partying and sex :)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/21 10:29 PM
3

I am honestly shocked whenever I read about it. I only had unprotected sex with 3 out of the 17 men I slept with, when we were in a serious long relationship. I am super annoyed when a guy doesn't suggest using a condom, and even worse when they say "do we really have to?". But telling them "well if you want to have a little enter name of guy" works quite well in changing their mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/21 12:00 PM
1

The one (and only) guy I experienced this with told me the whole time he loves being with me, that I am perfect, we planned how to align our careers to be in the same place, he held my hand and was otherwise physically affectionate when we went out, we went on vacations. He said in the first week of dating that he feels this can develop into something serious. After we dated 2 months I honestly thought WE WERE in a relationship, I never had to have "a talk" with another ex before. When you talk …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/21 05:45 PM
2

before giving up what men want This is the same stupid mentality as "giving away your virginity". I am not giving anything away when I have sex with someone. I like having sex. I just don't like being lied to.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/21 05:18 PM
1

Not sure if it's a culture difference, but me and my female single friends don't mind at all being intimate during the dating phase. I think it's important to find out if you are compatible in that matter. But when it's clear after a while (i would say after 1-2 months) that you are not interested in more, you should communicate that. If you get lucky they are not interested in more as well and you have a FWB 🤷
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/21 05:06 PM
3

The real problem is men treating you like a girlfriend and pretending to be interested in more while not going the next step. People are not always attracted enough for a LTR, even if you are in the same league, which is absolutely fine. But pretending they are to get easy affection and sex is annoying.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/21 04:51 PM
2

Female INFP Extroversion 41 Emotional stability 30 Agreeableness 80 Conscientiousness 51 Intellect/Imagination 76 When looking into the tests I mostly got aware of how different other people think than I do. Kind of just fuelling my empathy further.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 09:43 AM
12

I am not sure. He really crushed my confidence and it took me 1½ years to even consider dating again, and I am continuing working on myself with therapy etc. I was quite fine before the relationship. But I wouldn't be in the career I am in now hadn't we met and broken up. I applied for an internship in his dream research field kind of out of spite, and I got it. And now 4 years later I am doing my PhD in it. He isn't even close. So I try to see it all as an experience that make me who I am today…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 09:14 AM
1

Though it's not my own experience, I don't disagree with your point. I think women need to vet casual sex partners the same as dating partners to ensure to get some pleasure out of it. Spontaneous hook ups are mostly not worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 09:50 AM
3

I can only speak from my own experience, but I rarely had awful sex. I think with casual sex it's almost the same as with proper dating, you need to vet the men. Classic fuckbois might be pretty but also selfish and arrogant. I mostly ended up in bed with guys who proved to be nice and giving. So they mostly did a good job. Sex falls into three categories for me, "meh" "good" and "great". Out of 12 casual sex partners, 3 were "meh" regarding vaginal penetration. All cared for my orgasms in other…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/21 09:45 AM
1

I didn't date a lot in my life so didn't really develop a strategy, I tend to go with the flow and that worked out fine in most cases. But since the last time wasn't great (got emotionally strung along for a while), I will probably not wait around for commitment to an exclusive relationship in the future and give up on them quicker (guess like 2-3 months). I am not really a fan of withholding sex because sexual compatibility is important to me... And I like sex. I have a clear swiping pattern on…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/21 08:46 PM
11

From my own experience, no. I loved my ex, even though he was neglecting me. But when someone else cared more about me, I cheated with him to feel some affection (no excuse of course, I should have broken up). I would have preferred it a thousand times to get that affection from my ex because I did love him, and I also tried to fix the relationship with him. Interestingly he suddenly gave me the needed attention after I told him about kissing someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/21 03:31 PM
3

The other thing I have to say is that, based on what women here are writing, their experiences with men have been overwhelmingly negative. Same can be said regarding what men write about women here. People will complain if they don't like something but rarely talk about things that just went well.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/21 10:39 AM
2

I have no idea what you are debating about here, I only said the calculations in the studies won't be accurate because women lie/reduce the numbers and not to the exact same proportion. What do you think is wrong about that?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 12:49 PM
2

How does that affect to what proportion they lie? I agree that the trend probably will be the same, but since they won't all exactly reduce it by 50% or whatever the calculations are still shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 12:27 PM
3

There are different ways of holding a conversation, question asking or storytelling. Try reacting to her answers with talking about yourself instead of asking a question and see what happens. I am one of those people who hates asking questions but loves to listen to people talk about stuff, my conversations are mostly us reacting to each others stories with a story of ourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 12:21 PM
1

I would say every woman likes security and a man who seems to be willing to provide, but from my own experience it's not really a thing to look for a provider or insist on providing. Most female friends of mine make exactly the same or more than their partners and none of them ever said they want their partner to be more in a provider role. I dated a man a couple years back who told me he worries about not being able to provide for a family yet, I told him he doesn't have to do it alone nowadays…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 12:13 PM
3

Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 11:48 AM
3

Whatever n-count threshold a man sets will still yield a better result (ie, lower chance of infidelity) True, but also making his quest for finding a partner much harder than necessary. Meanwhile, slut shaming for no reason continues.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 10:38 AM
4

Obviously the general trend might be the same, but I remember studies linking likelihood of cheating to a specific count, or the increase of likelihood per sexual partner. Those results can't be true if they lied, so the threshold that people set themselves based on these studies would be nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 10:33 AM
7

You can either say women always lie about n count or you can trust these studies, but both won't work obviously. If they lied (and they won't lie to the exact same percentage), the whole calculation of cheating likelihood per n count was based on wrong numbers. Obviously the general trend might still apply, but where the likelihood of cheating was 50% it might actually be an n count double of what was stated.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 10:31 AM
8

I guess all the studies heavily cited by TRP about high n count linked to cheating and divorce cannot be taken as accurate as well because of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/21 09:49 AM
2

Sorry for you guys' struggles, that sounds really sad. I guess she didn't understand the good treatment, or was waiting for you to turn at her at any point. I think generally good respectful treatment is still the right thing to do in these situations, she just sadly seemed to have not been ready to embrace that and herself. There is a reason that they say you need to love yourself before you are able to love someone else. Hope she (and you) is doing better now.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 09:55 PM
3

I think that the "hot and cold" behaviour of assholes makes many women crave their validation, which in turn makes them kind of dependent on them. It's also crazy mind manipulation, they get it engraved in their thoughts that SHE is the problem. He's not violent or abusive generally, but SHE provokes it. Especially when they are lovebombing the women in between, she thinks he's the greatest partner ever, but she doesn't deserve him because her behaviour makes him mad. That's at least what I thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 02:31 PM
2

I would describe a bad boy as someone who's overly confident and stepping out of what is perceived as appropriate or morally correct. E.g. criminal activity, bullying, bragging about his sexual encounters, arrogance, drugs, rebellious, anger issues etc. When I was 15 I liked a "bad boy" in my class (he was 16, rebellious towards teachers and perceived as "cool"). That was it. All my sexual partners were generally good people who didn't do anything that would make them a bad boy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 10:41 AM
7

‘I like confident guys but not too confident’? I like a nice guy but not too nice I like a big penis but not too big I like a serious guy but not too serious Is this really so mysterious or is that just a preference for moderation?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/21 12:19 AM
2

Definitely depends on the town and population density, Edinburgh isn't too bad. But here less than 300,000 people live in my wider area. I am originally from North Rhine Westphalia which is very densely populated, Tinder swiping experience is a difference like night and day. Dating scene/style doesn't seem to be much different here than in Germany, but only have dated two men here so can't tell too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/21 12:24 AM
1

North Scotland
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/21 12:11 AM
1

Sorry for the confusion, I meant PhD "candidates" like I am. "People with a PhD" and postdocs would be redundant...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/21 10:39 PM
4

I think both genders should avoid people who have issues to fix but are not taking care of it. If people haven't accepted their problems and don't put effort into self-improvement, the relationship will suffer. But I think everyone should be open to be with someone working on themselves and be supportive.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/21 10:16 PM
2

Not yet, but if nothing goes terribly wrong I'll have one by the end of the year.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/21 09:45 PM
2

It can really tricky, I had several friends/colleagues thinking we were on a date just because I went for ice cream or to the zoo with them and was just friendly and happy. If you ask a friend to meet for ice cream as a date, tell them it's a date!! If I am already close to a person as friend and become interested in them romantically, I initiate small amounts of body contact. Knees touching under the table. Hand on their arm. Little "punches" when they joke around and similar. (So the pandemic …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/21 06:17 PM
1

Thank you
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/21 03:16 PM
2

Seems like your confidence got hit pretty hard if you think like that Definitely, my ex pretty much destroyed it. Addressing my body dysmorphia in therapy so hopefully I'll get that back
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/21 03:07 PM
1

Yeah my logical thinking knows that, but thanks to the internet/social media it feels like all guys are into gym bunnies and model figures.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/21 02:51 PM
2

Hahaha hope I'll find a guy like you who might get turned on when I ramble about my research :D
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/21 02:46 PM
1

It mostly concentrates in my short abdomen (belly and flanks), some goes to the boobs. I see the difference so I think guys would as well. I gained weight in my last relationship from 60 to 65 and my (slim) ex who didn't know the numbers was pretty mean about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/21 11:57 AM
0

Female I guess 5%, I am dieting and exercising a little more than I like to to get my weight down to 60kg instead of 64kg which is my easy comfort weight (I am 1.75m tall). Somehow I tell myself that those 4 kg matter to men, honestly they probably don't give a shit. But I am super insecure in dating when I weigh more than 60. 95% of self-improvement, so exercise in general, healthy eating, taking care of hair, nails, clothes, going to therapy, doing a PhD etc etc is all for myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/21 11:27 AM
4

Where did I say they matter more? When women say personality matters, I think most mean that they a) won't date a good-looking guy if he is an ass and b) might date men who are not their type or haven't unlocked their potential if their personality makes up for it. Examples: my metalhead ex who had long hair on a receding hairline and a petit goatee... But is a great funny loving guy my course instructor in university who is half bald and short but told me passionately about his research with hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/21 11:20 AM
1

just a formed smiley with bacon and eggs This is cute haha
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/21 11:20 PM
4

No womam is attracted to that. Physics is not really my vibe, but a PhD in biology is attractive to me. I am only really attracted to men who have a good portion of intelligence, if I can't talk to them about my research it's a big turn off.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/21 11:00 PM
6

Again something I can't relate to, I won't spend a significant amount of time with someone I don't actively like.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/21 09:29 PM
5

Because (in my view) if you like having a person around that much, you care for them enough to not hurt them. But I know that's not how everyone feels and thinks, it's just something I don't understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/21 09:09 PM
11

Yeah obviously you should leave but when you are in love and the other one is doing the whole "I don't feel ready" "but I really love to spend time with you" "you are the perfect person" it's not that easy, and they could really show some human decency and stop playing with people's feelings. (I had this guy tell me he would move to Scotland to live with me, or that I should get a job in his city in Germany when I am done with my PhD here. That's just mean when you are not actually interested in…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/21 07:21 PM
13

I agree. Though I have been frustrated that a man I really fell for didn't commit to me after playing relationship for four months, I have also dated men for a while and just didn't feel it. It just becomes annoying when the "maybe-person" knows that the other one has feelings and keeps dragging them along.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/21 07:13 PM
7

This might be the challenging thing for some women new to "proper" dating. My relationships all came to be as being friends first and eventually making out drunk. A week later we were in a relationship. So I never had a guy putting in effort during the "courting phase". Obviously attention always fades away a little in a relationship, but I never had it "suprise" me. I wouldn't want a guy to give me (much) more attention in the dating phase than he would give me in a relationship, that's kind of…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/21 06:46 PM
25

And what qualities make you fall in lust with a man? Nice sounding (probably deep) voice, charisma/confidence, being a researcher who is enthusiastic about his field (don't ask me why, enthusiastic PhD candidates and postdocs just do it for me), and obviously appealing looks What qualities make you fall in love with a man? Making me laugh, showing interest in my work and telling me about his, initiating contact and activities, having passion about a hobby or in his job, being cuddly I won't fall…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/21 05:34 PM
2

As a fellow physical touch person, it is the worst one to have as a primary when single. Oh yes. As a woman I am probably in a good position because I can get random hugs from friends easily. Lockdown last year was rough, didn't touch anyone for 4 months. My best friend (male) is physical touch as well, and he definitely suffers as he's also single currently. I saw him over Christmas and we cuddled the shit out of each other to recharge he batteries haha
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/21 12:16 PM
1

Yeah some might try to justify behaviour with that, but I think it's quite obvious that these people already have an unhealthy view of a relationship if it's okay that their partner doesn't care about their needs. I think becoming aware of your own needs and communicating them might be made easier by this theory.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 09:00 PM
1

Yeah I think it might be easiest to be with someone who's instantly compatible in that department, however that might be part of the "idealistic partner" that's so hard to find, while it would be possible to be and fall in love with someone who's slightly different. As some people have commented, they have been in relationships with people of other languages, and while it doesn't always work it can sometimes if they put some effort into satisfying their partner's languages.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 07:44 PM
3

Haha yeah I like that one too. "Giving space in proximity"
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 07:38 PM
1

I've found that many of the men I've dated are actually surprised that a partner would get gifts for them at all Ah man, yeah it's a little sad. The whole gender construct with men giving gifts to women is really weird regarding this, as many women would appreciate something else more...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 07:27 PM
2

when it happens I def feel loved Yes it was definitely a good feeling. Especially since it was always something which made obvious he listened really well.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 07:01 PM
3

Haha, I am exactly the same. I was with a guy for 9 months and he just wasn't touchy/cuddly, and it drove me mad. But he was a gift giver, he got me little things every now and then which was super cute and highly appreciated but it just didn't excite me. And later on when I read about the languages I wondered if he would have preferred me to give gifts as well, or something else. I guess it's best if the love languages are the same, since reciprocating comes more natural, and it should be part …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 06:50 PM
3

I don't believe women do that typically or any more than men, no. As there are some men looking for the next younger shinier model, there will also be women who do the same. But I don't think it's a majority in both cases. That's at least my personal experience, maybe it depends on country/culture/community. I think people leave when they are unhappy in a relationship, and will look for someone who makes them happy. That unhappiness can be sparked by a lot of reasons. If the normie person is rel…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 06:28 PM
1

What does this have to do with if women like sex outside a relationship or not? But since you mention it, many relationships nowadays develop after people had sex. Sexual compatibility is a thing as well. Choosing to have consensual, respectful and safe sex never makes someone lesser or higher quality IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 04:43 PM
2

Currently non-existent. I never had big troubles, I had good LTRs but one since I was 16, in between I mostly had 8-10 months with a rebound/FWB mixed in. My last relationship ended 2015. I had some mental health issues I addressed for a year, then I went for several internships abroad so didn't really look for serious dating. Then I finally had time for it, met mostly guys that were friends of friends, one that I met in a bar, colleagues from university etc. Three years ago I fell hard for one,…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 04:27 PM
5

I personally have never seen a woman do that. The few cheating incidents I've seen in my social environment were not upgrading, the women were mostly already unhappy in their relationship (and should have broken up) and other men gave them the affection/attention they craved. None of the "lovers" were obviously better than the previous one in looks/wealth/status. A few got together, some just had one incident and took it as sign to break up.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/21 08:52 AM
1

Yes I would. I really like children, and I don't care if they are biologically mine or not. I know I don't need (own) children for my personal happiness in my life, I would only consider having some if I find the right partner to have them with. So if I find a great partner who has kids, happy to be a stepmom.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/21 09:18 AM
1

Most people simply don't care about n. Yeah I can understand how a man doesn't want to think about previous partners of a women, buy I still have to meet a guy who is actually that interested in my sexual history. My friends all have very different approaches to dating, and different preferences in men, and that's fine. To each their own, I don't think one is better than the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/21 09:08 AM
5

So the simple solution is prohibiting men to have casual sex with women of lower league? It's in your hand guys!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/21 01:11 AM
2

guy being super pushy until I give up. I have been in a similar situation before, and I am pretty sure it happend because I tend to avoid conflicts. I talked this issue through in therapy and I am learning to be more assertive and allow more "aggressive" feelings as I never felt real anger about anything. Maybe talking with a counselor about it might be good for you as well. I don't remember feeling post-coital blues except maybe when I was already emotionally very very charged. It think it's di…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/21 01:05 AM
3

That last paragraph assumes a lot, especially with your invented number of 99%. Do you really think that only 1% of women like sex just for the sex itself outside a relationship? Do you think women never orgasm when engaging in casual sex? This is simply not true, especially when being in FWBs or a dating situation. Of course there are women having sex for validation or a variety of other reasons, and there are obviously selfish shitty lovers out there, but there are plenty of women who like to …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/21 12:17 AM
11

I think most things are absolutely reasonable, but "not a feminist" might be a little difficult? Most women I know consider themselves feminists, just don't have extreme views. But might be my bubble.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/21 11:58 AM
2

Many women who enjoy sex choose to have LOTS of it with only ONE man in the context of an LTR. What do you expect these women to do then when single but really liking sex? I have a high sex drive and definitely prefer LTR sex, but have been single for 5½ years now. I dated and had sex with some of these men after a while, but it didn't lead to more, and I had sex in a few FWBs/situationships (longest was 9 months). That easily results in a count >10, which is apparently already "high". I don't s…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/21 11:20 AM
1

He had the chance for 50/50 but refused to work less/take paternity leave (paid in Germany, but obviously he would have to decrease his living standards). She can't force him.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/21 09:49 AM
1

Body odour has indications about genetics and is considered to have been of importance in human sexual selection. Nowadays people obviously mask their own odour most of the time with deodorant/perfume etc, so it's not that important anymore and those smells might be the ones being familiar.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/21 09:34 AM
8

His personality was not terrible at all, he was a really nice person, else we wouldn't have dated in the first place. But the incompatibility in humor was the reason I couldn't fall in love and start a relationship with him. If I would have been only interested in looks and money I would have continued to date him.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 01:41 PM
8

Agree. I was dating a man who was great in looks, manners, money... But he just didn't have a lot of humor. The funny movies he picked were not that funny, and even then he didn't really laugh. Couldn't commit to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 12:23 PM
7

I think that's a very good point. My ex (21 at the time) started crying in front of me a few months into the relationship (because of some shit his ex pulled) and was super embarrassed and totally baffled that I comforted him. He didn't expect women to be ok with him being vulnerable. It's terrible to think how many men might have some mental issues because they don't feel they can show their emotions.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 12:16 PM
0

Well AF/BB won't be an issue because I would only marry someone who I love and am attracted to. And don't really consider many of my previous partner alpha. Pretty sure I haven't been alpha-widowed haha
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 11:08 AM
0

Nah. As I have mentioned in another comment, I didn't give n-count a thought until I found PPD. I have sex with someone when it feels right.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 10:56 AM
2

The progressive/feminist media that push that N-count doesn't matter I am wondering now how people see Monica in friends . When I watched it first I didn't care at all, but after seeing the discussions on PPD and rewatching the show I noticed she definitely dated around A LOT and then ended up with Chandler who makes good money, is very loving and has been told a few seasons before that she's not interested in him at all. And has obviously seen her dating around because he's a friend and lives n…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 10:51 AM
5

Did they work in the same clinic / medical group though ? No, different departments/buildings of the same clinic, saw each other once in a while at work but not daily. Right, but unless it's different in Germany, medicine in the USA is unique where 88% of nurses are female, and nurses in many ways carry out doctor's orders or direction of treatment. So spending long amounts of time with other women besides your wife, guiding them what to do, seems like it would have some effect more so than a ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 02:17 AM
1

Aw, stop it you blush
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 01:39 AM
5

It makes no sense to me why a doctor would want to marry another doctor. Guess due to the dating pool it's just very likely doctors get together. If you study medicine you hang out only with med students from the age of 18/19 in Germany. It definitely was a strain on their relationship but they made it through the toughest years, he started cheating when she was transitioning to work part time in a practice. Doctor's are known for having affairs with nurses. His wife should have known better. Ye…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 01:18 AM
2

Yes. No one was a stranger, it's a mix of LTRs/dating that didn't lead to more/FWBs and only one quite spontaneous ONS with an acquaintance who I never talked with a lot, before and after.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 12:36 AM
2

To each their own :)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 12:12 AM
2

Hahaha yeah seeing it coming, didn't have sex in 13 months and adopted a cat recently. Will embrace it fully when I hit the wall in 1½ years!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 12:05 AM
0

I definitely had to remind myself quite a lot that the discussions here are not necessarily applicable to my life situation! I am generally oversharing a lot, and I thought I might try to do it anonymously here. Hope I might be able to contribute a perspective/experience to the exchange.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/21 12:01 AM
2

I would definitely skip some guys with whom the sex hasn't been good or caused me heartache (3-4). But might add the odd one because I only noticed in hindsight they hitted on me. So n would probably stay similar if my single time was the same. I would probably try harder to find the right guy 4-5 years ago, I dated only 1-3 new guys a year and didn't find the one, but I always preferred to be in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 11:43 PM
0

Well my last monogamous partner was no.8 if that makes a difference (the others were no 1, 2, 4, 6). I don't remember anyone asking for the number, but if so I would have told them, they knew my dating history. None cared. In the last 5½ years I was single and dated a bit, no one ever asked, only most recent dating history was discussed. I honestly never thought much about the number until I came across Reddit and PPD during lockdown last year, have been lurking since.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 11:14 PM
1

I usually workout and diet more than I like for this reason. When I eat and workout like I want, I stay at a very stable weight (BMI 21). But I think I look more attractive at a BMI of about 19, so I try to stay more in that region by calorie counting and more gym time. That whole routine went tits up due to lockdown so I am at my stable weight now and a little afraid of dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 10:53 PM
1

Inspired by others, I am a 28 year old redpill-repelling slut with n=17, AMA
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 10:46 PM
1

Oh yeah the first is nice, and I like it without hair. Would like it just a tad softer/chubbier.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 03:26 PM
3

Neglect/mental abuse. I had several relationships, most being absolutely nice and a good memory. Dead bedroom happend once but we just took the consequence and broke up consensually. I am not afraid of break-ups per se, life happens and a person who was right for you at some point in your life might not be at a later point (though I definitely hope to find a man for the rest of my life). But the last relationship hurt me badly since the man just stopped giving me any affection. He was a very cud…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 03:11 PM
3

Well, I rejected to do anything sexually with a guy who let me sleep at his place after a party since I couldn't get home, so he raped me as I was too drunk and tired to fight (but said "no" very very clearly for several times). Apart from that, no aggression but unsettling persistence. A colleague from my office just didn't take no for an answer. Touched my hip and kissed my forehead in the break room out of nowhere. I told him I would report any touches next time. He only stopped verbal insinu…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 02:18 PM
12

My Brother in law turned out to be one of those. Both our families are upper middle class, he and my sister are both doctors (met in med school) and were together for about 8 years when they got married. They started trying for a baby after the wedding and she got pregnant shortly after. That's when he started messaging a nurse from his clinic a lot (as we found out later). Baby was born and he pretty much ignored it, went drinking every weekend while my sister didn't have any help, and then he …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/21 02:01 PM
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