TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Wife_and_Mama Archive

View 2 posts and 3,780 comments by Wife_and_Mama on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 3,780 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
13

he used to watch Andrew Tate, consume heavy manosphere content (still does) and this is a red flag to them. We are working on some of the assumptions he makes regarding woman and we have gotten past alot of things however this is simply where my frustration lies. Generalizations, victum blaming, signs of emotional gaslighting, all in the content he consumes. Just FYI, this is a red flag here, too. That's particularly true when coupled with your age difference and stage of life. We don't know the…
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/26 05:33 PM
–

I am so sorry you're in this situation. This is also the entirely wrong place to post this. I have no idea why you think this sub can help you in this impossible situation.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/26 09:04 AM
4

Posting stories on IG doesn't mean anything unless they were doing something suggestive. Assuming ill intent is going to tank your new relationship and make him want to avoid you. Absolutely, to all of this. If OP brings up any of this to this guy, she's going to be the red flag. Getting upset that he's not giving her enough attention at a work conference is going to come across as needy and high-maintenance, not to mention inconsiderate of his time. Calling it ghosting is going to make her seem…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/26 07:52 PM
7

I would avoid the past relationship drama. Instead, make an actual plan for this birthday celebration, with the boyfriend. Choose something fun, reasonably affordable, and not over the top. Maybe plan to go to a free festival and eat at a middling priced restaurant. Don't set the expectation too high, but set the expectation. Then you know exactly what you're getting and if it doesn't happen, it won't be because you asked for too much.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/26 05:45 PM
2

I find it funny that no one is bringing up the amount of infidelity that takes place at conferences, but of course it would be foolish to assume anything of the sort and there’s no way to find out if he has been unfaithful. You find it funny that no one is jumping to ridiculous conclusions and also consider it a ridiculous conclusion? As I said, just communicate your expectations from now on. Many men are glad to be told explicitly what is expected of them, as far as behaviour and communication,…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/26 05:22 PM
2

I wasn't really trying to decode my husband. He's definitely a stoic. I've literally never seen him cry. This is just part of that.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/26 05:18 PM
9

He's at work. You not being the center of his universe when he's at a conference isn't "ghosting." If he keeps up the behavior after the conference, sure, he's blowing you off. That's not what's happening based on your post. Edited to Add: Have you ever been to a work conference? I think you're underestimating how on you have to be when you attend one of these things. Every second of your day is a networking opportunity. You eat breakfast with colleagues, lunch with your boss, dinner with people…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/26 05:16 PM
7

He's at work. He's making contacts and schmoozing with colleagues. This is your chance to prove that you can put his needs first. Continue the good morning texts. Wish him luck. Maybe even text at night that you hope he had a good day. Otherwise, leave him be. Generally speaking, mature and successful men are not going to be texting all the time. Most men, at that point in life, text more for logistics than conversation. My husband and I would go a couple of days without texting when we were dat…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/26 01:02 PM
6

Yes. All the time. He also tells me regularly that I'm his best friend. We do joke that if I hadn't said it first, though, he still wouldn't have said it. It's been 11 years together, nine married, and five kids. He's just not a flowery language kind of guy.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/26 12:56 PM
15

You start by moving out so you're not constantly surrounded by this dynamic. Then pursue your own interests and hobbies. Once you're happy with your life and your person single, then date men who have also lived on their own (or at least not with parents) and have their own passions.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/26 08:14 PM
37

I am going to be honest with you, here. This is likely just who he is and always will be. My husband almost never compliments me. I do not need a lot of verbal affirmation, but as a firm believer that everyone needs all of the "love languages" in different quantities at different times, it does get to me at times. He is a fantastic hands-on father, who absolutely does his share around the house. He doesn't hold grudges, is even keeleed to a fault, is not jealous or controlling, just converted to…
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/26 01:38 PM
3

It's not surprising that a 30-year-old man dating a 21-year-old is being a manipulative asshole. You're not even in a relationship. Tell him you're not interested in pursuing this, block him, and find someone closer to your age. A 30-year-old man wants only one thing from a 21-year-old woman, generally speaking. Of course there are outliers, but this isn't one.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/26 11:55 AM
0

My husband games. It has almost no effect on our lives. He plays on lazy days and after we all go to bed. That said, gaming is just like any other hobby that can become all-consuming. It's a yellow flag, at best. The problem isn't that your boyfriend plays video games. I would actually caution most of Gen Z and even many Millennials against making gaming a deal-breaker, simply because it's such a widespread hobby. The issue here is how your boyfriend lets a hobby impact his life and personality.…
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/26 11:16 PM
4

Ask him. There's no way for anyone here to know.
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/26 12:12 AM
1

No one is offended by the request. I can handle my own marriage therapy Thank you. This came off as kind of rude on a sub about relationship advice. Maybe it wasn't intended with snark, but it reads that way. While your request is somewhat off topic, it's not offensive. It's just a bit entitled to ask, on a sub that is not a literary sub, for everyone to acknowledge your very specific and apparently very sensitive triggers. Then when someone recommended Jane Austen, you turned them down. I'd rec…
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/26 02:26 PM
1

This is unnecessarily rude. This is a relationship advice sub. Her questions were entirely warranted. Furthermore, your request is... kind of ridiculous. I was a librarian for 10 years and if someone asked me this, I would direct them to cozy mysteries or Amish Romance. Love Finds You in Charm was an absolutely adorable movie, but I don't think a book so simple and uncomplicated would hold my attention. If you like simple and uncomplicated, you might try anything that's been made into a Hallmark…
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/26 01:57 PM
3

I actually don't like to travel, but that didn't make the list of must-haves. I really just wanted a cat. There wasn't more to it. We still have the cat I got when we were dating. He's 10.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/26 03:03 PM
6

For me, it was because I wanted a cat, really badly. My husband hated cats and would have answered that way in the questions OKCupid had at the time. You could actually filter your results to fit those questions, so if you said something was important, someone who answered in a way you didn't didnt want wouldnt even show up. I eventually realized, after reading the Gottlieb book, that I would prefer marriage and children over a hypothetical cat. I also got a cat when we were dating and he didn't…
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/26 02:58 PM
13

Do you think that by having less non negotiables we could be actually more successful at dating by making it more simple, or just waste more time? This advice is given in Marry Him: the Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough, by Lori Gottlieb. Personally, I expanded it to five. I found three too limiting, but I think the foundation of this advice is totally sound. You choose five must-haves and anyone who isn't disqualified gets a date. Does it waste time? Eh. Probably less than being way too pic…
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/26 02:43 PM
2

I know plenty of women who are married to unconventional looking men. Your judgemental friends need to get over themselves.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/26 01:42 PM
2

If you can date these men and still want to have sex with them, then you're doing nothing wrong. Everyone else can go kick rocks.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/26 01:26 PM
16

In the 90's and early 2000's, we had an actual middle class, so women had more options of leaving men they weren't really compatible with or treated well by. Now? I think it's smarter to stay married even if you are miserable with an asshole. You just can't be overly emotional and leave defiantly with no financial backup. Unless you already make your own and/or come from a rich and powerful family, your child will suffer. There was a random news article about a woman in South America around the …
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/26 10:12 AM
2

whats considered being a "good girlfriend" now is essentially give him wifey privileges (cooking/cleaning/counselling him/cohabitating) with zero commitment which actually gives him LESS incentive to marry you. and so after 6 years of dragging it out he leaves, hes still only what 32? You are absolutely misrepresenting the sub. This is expressly advised against, repeatedly.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/26 01:50 PM
3

I think everyone reading my post understands im not at all making a blanket statement like "pick the richest guy". No. They don't understand that, because what you wrote is a nearly illegible rambling rant. Many comments make it clear that they don't understand that. Women show up supporting sugar baby culture all the time. They are often reminded that wealth is only one factor. If you're trying to say that, you're doing a poor job of it. For example: I read some advice that basically said for a…
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/26 01:48 PM
3

No. It's not. If you don't understand what it's about, you should be quiet. Honestly, so should OP. This entire thread is a complete misrepresentation of this sub from people who either can't or won't read.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/26 01:41 PM
3

If you think telling a woman not to marry for money alone is extreme, then leave. People go bankrupt all the time, FYI.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/26 01:26 PM
9

Yeah, I don't understand what you're trying to get from this post. You say you aren't willing to act on this right now and that you're dating someone else. You want a guarantee of reward before taking any risk. That's not how anything works.
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/26 04:01 PM
6

If you're not willing to try at the moment, what is the point of this post? No one here can tell you if he thinks you're pretty.
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/26 02:08 PM
4

Does he know that? Would he be okay with it?
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/26 02:08 PM
0

He rejected her because he wasn't attracted to her. She's told me she's slowly getting over him, but I'd hate to blindside her if I ever acted on my feelings. Is she the kind of friend who would be happy for you, if a little disappointed or would this end that friendship? None of us can answer that, but you're borrowing trouble here, because you don't even know of he's into you. You did call her a mutual friend, though. He's clearly able to move on from the awkwardness of having a female friend …
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/26 01:47 PM
17

This is a medical question. This is not a medical sub.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/26 10:00 PM
1

Great. It's still not relevant to a discussion about RP ideology.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/26 05:04 PM
2

No. Your point is just moronic and/or you're trolling.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/26 05:02 PM
0

Thats a religious stance, not an RP one.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/26 03:04 PM
2

Yes. We must have virgin men who are good in bed. 👏 👏 👏
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/26 03:04 PM
0

If we strictly follow the Red Pill logic about value, pair-bonding, and hypergamy, shouldn't RP women actively reject men who have a high body count or a heavy emotional/sexual past? No. Men aren't women. From a logical standpoint, a man who has been with too many women could be considered "used" or emotionally desensitized. He might carry baggage, compare his future wife to past partners, or struggle with long-term commitment because he is used to short-term options. No. Men aren't women. And i…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/26 03:03 PM
3

Yeah, I think it's probably MORE likely that her husband genuinely suspects her. Otherwise he is absolutely shit at hiding his own cheating.
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/26 11:55 PM
6

Sure, but any man worth marrying is not reading that. He has no interest. He doesn't care. My husband and I don't look at each other's phones. He doesn't give two figs about the trendy cups I buy for resale or my conversations with the other ECs on Discord. I have no interest in his political podcasts. I just started going to the gym, though. If he thought I was acting weird or something, he could look at my phone. I don't care. If he's doing that, though, there is absolutely zero chance he's re…
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/26 11:41 AM
6

You're never going to find the absolute perfect role model. Most people in your life have something to admire and emulate. That said, look for women in more traditionally masculine roles, such as farming, athletics, manual labor. They do exist. My husband comes from a ranching family and I almost have the opposite problem with them. His nieces can stick a thermometer in the butt of a calf without blinking. I am not that girl. At all.
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/26 08:38 PM
13

You don't have to make accusations to ask about the change in behavior. "Why are you making comments about leaving? That's really hurtful. Are you unhappy?" "Why do you keep asking about other men? Have I done something to concern you?" Ask these questions genuinely, without ire. Where the conversation goes will tell you a lot. As a side note to any readers, this is why so many married couples have an open tech arrangement. My husband and I agreed when we got married that we'd have each other's …
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/26 08:35 PM
10

I agree. The history is that he broke up with her because he didn't feel like they were close anymore. She posted about it just a couple of months ago. Now she wants a ring. So, yeah. This is a test and she is bombing.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/26 11:06 PM
5

This is not dread. This is just a confused little boy.
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/26 09:50 AM
11

Why are you here if you're just going to argue with everyone? You're getting the same advice over and over again, that this guy is too young and not serious about you. You keep insisting that it's not that simple, cuz Reasons. Of course it's that simple. He's 12. You're in your early 30s? Why are you wasting time on this guy? Is it some sort of sunk cost fallacy? Do you feel you've put in too much to walk away? You haven't, but you are at risk of wasting years of your life on literally nothing.
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/26 09:49 AM
12

He's not. He's just a child.
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/26 09:45 AM
8

Long? Do you struggle with short paragraphs? You really should get off the internet. I have five children five and under. I've been happily married for nine years, with my husband for 11. I have a master's degree and had a great career before I quit to stay home with my children. I do several side hustles and am active in my children's school/our church. You're single and looking for make-believe role models to advise you on living in your "feminine energy," a buzz word you read online and also …
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/26 06:27 PM
11

It seems like he has a lot of options for a man who wanted to break up with you a few months ago. I wouldn't press your luck.
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/26 12:22 PM
20

He wanted to break up with her a few months ago. Pushing this is going to be the kill switch.
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/26 12:21 PM
11

In The Manchurian Candidate, communists brainwashed him. In Get Out, it was hypnosis. Brave New World used mind-altering drugs to keep everyone docile. If those are too simple, maybe try hooking him up to a giant fantasy world like in the Matrix.
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/26 12:16 PM
4

I think it's great that you don't have a huge online presence, but "feminine energy" is not something people talk about in real life. Of all the places you could spend time learning about reality and being a real woman, Reddit is probably one of the worst. Even if you don't spend much time there, talking in buzz words is going to make you seem disconnected from the real world.
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/26 12:11 PM
6

It is the female litmus test for someone who is chronically online.
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/26 06:47 PM
2

He's a picky eater and expects you to prepare his food at and away from home... like a child. You're not allowed to show gratitude toward others without him taking it personally... like a child. A small child accidentally scratched him during consensual rough-housing and he lashed out at her... like a child. He's a very picky eater but won't learn to prepare his own meals... like a child. Yeah, maybe you don't respect him and maybe there's a reason. This is not one-sided. He is absolutely a prob…
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/26 12:43 PM
37

I think if you're using the phrase "feminine energy," you probably need to consume less media. Connect with your "womanhood" by going out into the world and spending time with real women and doing real woman things.
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/26 12:36 PM
2

This is an excellent answer. Everyone is caught up on whether or not this woman really got pregnant on purpose if if he's just claiming so. It does not matter. This is a mess OP shouldn't take on.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/26 10:33 PM
1

All these responses are assuming this man is a monster and the woman is totally innocent. Let's pretend the opposite is true. She got pregnant on purpose, by poking holes in the condoms or something that actually allows for him to have been the responsible guy he should have been. Even then, he has a caustic and dramatic relationship with an ex and it's not going anywhere. He is tied to this woman and child for life and he has no idea how this is going to work. You don't want to stick around for…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/26 10:31 PM
1

You're not even engaged and have a year of savings? Get whatever you want.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/26 08:03 PM
2

This is extra money that's specifically yours. I don't think there is a wrong answer here. I would get the hair removal.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/26 12:09 PM
3

I try to remind myself that saying whatever it is I'm thinking won't have a positive impact or help the situation. Then I put on noise canceling headphones.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/26 09:00 PM
1

The answer you've gotten, a couple of times, is to get over it or move on. He's allowed to dress how he wants. I promise you, 90% of married women hate something their husband wears. You just don't get to dictate this.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/26 08:35 PM
2

You told him don't like the way he dresses. He essentially told you that's not up to you. Either get over it or find someone who dresses in a way you like.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/26 07:44 PM
4

This reads like a woman expecting men to have all the perks of being male (strong, protective, privider, etc.) and also all the perks of being female (intuitive, empathetic, their best friend). You can't have both. Men can't either.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/26 05:45 PM
6

You are the common denominator in all of your relationships. You admit that you're struggling to get over a misandrist mindset. It reads like you need to work harder... you know, on every subreddit you spammed with this rant.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/26 10:49 AM
1

If you don't feel threatened by these women, I'd see how it goes.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/26 07:49 PM
9

Female friends? Sure. Lots of female friends? Eh. Just because it's platonic on his end, doesn't mean it's platonic on theirs. That said, I'd probably withhold judgment for when I met said friends. My husband lived with two women in college and was good friends with both of their boyfriends/now husbands. He said one of them got drunk and mad at her boyfriend and came onto him once, but he turned her down and never told a soul. I 100% believe that and that nothing more occurred. You say he has a …
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/26 04:35 PM
1

If the small things are enough to put the relationship in jeopardy, you shouldn't be together. I know plenty of people who never lived together before marriage and have perfectly happy unions. This is a falshood pushed by a society fighting traditional values.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/26 10:43 PM
9

I'm sorry this happened, but trying to work things out with someone like this is just wasting time. End it. Heal. Date. Go get the life you want. Fuck him.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/26 09:28 AM
1

Forgive yourself. You had sex. Your number is now one. Most men are not going to think much of that if the behavior doesn't continue. I would caution you not to build this up in your mind as being something it wasn't. You do seem to have actively participated if you got naked and got into bed with him. It doesn't sound as though you were raped, but it does seem as though you're dangerously close to convincing yourself of that. That won't help the situation. Take accountability for your role here…
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/26 09:25 AM
3

I think you're wrong that he was some golden goose. He has kids and mental health issues. Both of those are red flags. Take off the rose colored glasses. I think you're right about getting excited. That's hard to control, but it's best to keep busy when you're excited about a new guy to avoid that.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/26 09:31 PM
3

Don't do that next time. Seriously, even if he was texting constantly, that's not a good thing. It's easy to create a false sense of intimacy when you have constant contact like that. It can often lead to more sexual discussions and both of those can put you in a weird place when you forget that you don't even know this guy yet. Get to know men in person.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/26 08:37 PM
3

🙄 No wonder so many young women are unhappily single. This is such a leap and a stupid one based on nothing. Not everyone is glued to their phone. Some people actually want to date in person after they meet. Some people are busy (pretty common for even noncustodial parents). Some get sick. Refusing even a second date for this was dumb.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/26 07:17 PM
3

This guy has kids and struggles with his mental health to the point that he can't answer a text on logistics. You're not missing anything and shouldn't beat yourself up. All that said, you should have given it a second date. You say you don't expect constant texting, but it seems like you expect constant texting. Before you meet, you're trying to get to know each other, at least a little bit, via text. Once you've met, though, the relationship needs to grow in person. Texting a lot isn't really …
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/26 07:16 PM
7

I feel like "Big Titty Brittany" knows this. You're in the wrong place.
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/26 11:06 PM
5

The police are plenty tech savvy. Seriously, you should pursue legal action or at least talk to an administrator at school.
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/26 09:37 PM
13

"Hey, I just wanted to give you kind of a heads up since we've been seeing each other for a little bit now. There's a group of girls at school who've been harrassing me for a while. They like to spread rumors about me and send me hateful messages. I mostly just ignore it, but I thought you should know in case they get in touch. I'm not really sure what their motive is. Some people are just unhappy. I like you, though, and I don’t want it to become a headache for you." On a separate note, I think…
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/26 08:14 PM
35

I would warn him that there are a group of girls harassing you and perhaps explain the truth, succinctly and with as little drama as possible.
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/26 07:45 PM
15

Is there a question here?
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/26 09:39 AM
2

Yeah, I honestly don't think my husband and I even mentioned that kind of stuff out loud for several months.
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/26 02:01 AM
1

I think this really minimizes what men suffer and offer in a relationship, themselves. It's not one-sided.
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/26 02:00 AM
13

This isn’t bad advice, but if OP is to a place where she's directly asking about sexual preferences, she's more than likely getting physical with him. That would still require a comparable time investment. So while she wouldn't be adding to her number (if this is something she's considering) or sleeping with him, she'd still be putting a lot of time and emotional effort into the relationship before finding this out.
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/26 09:25 PM
38

My husband and I came to the conclusion that porn was harmful and an unnecessary risk independently when we were dating. We were listening to the same conservative commentator at the time and he was on a big anti-porn kick, talking about the sources and origins of porn. I started doing some of my own research about the industry and the impact on relationships. It was something my hushand and I talked about in almost an academic way. At six months or so, I told him I didn't want him using porn an…
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/26 09:19 PM
4

We being humans? That's not unique to women. It just takes more for men to become uncomfortable enough.
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/26 03:34 AM
19

"If we're not gonna make it, it's gotta be you that gets out, cause I'm not capable. I'm fucking Irish, I'll deal with something being wrong for the rest of my life." Matt Damon, The Departed Men are much more likely to stick to difficult things when they commit, hence why they make good soldiers, oil field workers, miners, insert job that would suck here. Women are more likely to leave when resources are low or times are tough, which is in some ways why they make good mothers. When you're in ch…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/26 10:12 PM
1

I mean posting on Reddit is a waste of time. People can fantasize about whatever they like. We all let our minds wander.
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/26 12:57 PM
17

I think a lot of people get caught up in religious and moral arguments instead of logistical and pragmatic ones when discussing living together before marriage. Breaking up with someone you love and thought you'd spend your life with is really hard. Having to move and figure out who gets the couch is a lot harder.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/26 03:00 AM
46

You're not married to him. You should prioritize yourself right now. The challenge is figuring out how to gradually prioritize him and the relationship as it gets more serious, without forgetting your own needs. Personally, I think that's one of the problems with living together before marriage, acting like you're married and treating him like a husband, without the actuality.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/26 01:18 AM
–

So do punctuation and coherent thought while writing. Having a point also helps.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/26 11:31 PM
–

She seems angry and ranty. I'm not sure why you think that comes across as happy or why people pointing that out is mean, but mkay.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/26 11:30 PM
2

...but she seems so happy.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/26 10:31 PM
2

TL/DR: rant with no context
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/26 10:03 PM
4

I agree. I think most people look back and wonder what might have been had they taken a different path. Some struggle more with assuming the pastures would be greener than others. Even now, at 38 with my kids all five and under, it's easy to romanticize having kids young, because I didn't. There are always going to be advantages and disadvantages to even the best choices.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/26 09:56 PM
2

I didn't decenter anything. I pursued what I wanted regardless of what everyone else thought. My husband and I dated for eight months before we had sex and my friends openly mocked me for it. We're not friends anymore and they're all single moms. Ditch bad friends.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/26 08:23 PM
9

Obviously ignore this advice, but consider the regrets your mother must have. More of her life is behind her than ahead of her and she's only had crappy relationships. Of course she wishes she'd dated for resources when she feels like she didn't get anything else from these men. Let her rant. Have sympathy. Live your life the way you want. For what it's worth, both of my parents did this. They wanted me to work and travel and have adventures. I finally snapped at my dad in a Buffalo Wild Wings t…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/26 08:18 PM
9

I hate flowers. Now what? Different people feel love in different ways. The collective views of lonely dudes on Reddit are irrelevant.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/26 07:30 PM
–

Why would you talk to this man?
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/26 10:55 AM
9

With all of that being said, how do I change the way I date and attract real, masculine, healthy, family men who want marriage and babies? Well, for starters, I'd focus on solidifying your own ideology. Are you conservative politically or just as far as relationships go? If you're politically liberal, but want to marry and have kids and be a stay-at-home mom, you have to figure out how to express that to men in a way they don't find off putting. If you're politically conservative now, then thing…
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/26 09:49 PM
27

What makes you unattractive? Are you suffering from some physical deformity or condition? If not, I would wager you actually are exaggerating and your self-loathing is the bigger turn off. Regardless, ugly people get married all the time. You just have to work with what you've got. Wax if you need to wax. Wear your hair in a way that flatters your face shape. Have the mole cluster removed. Lose weight. You can do a lot with a little.
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/26 09:32 PM
1

I will never support people slandering others they didn't even date online, regardless of some over dramatized or straight up fabricated perceived "danger" from the horrifying existence of the opposite sex. OP was stirring the pot and has straight up said so herself.
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/26 04:48 PM
6

It sounds like things are going great and you have a good balance on how much time you spend together. The only real advice I'd give is to not play it too aloof. I met my husband at 27 and I was like you. I wanted to meet a man, but I wasn't interested in spending every day texting him. Sometimes we'd go even two or three days without contact. However, when the time came to meet my parents, I initiated that discussion. I drove to his city sometimes, instead of just expecting him to come to mine …
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/26 12:26 PM
7

A man has arrived to save us!
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/26 07:14 PM
14

You're not entirely wrong, but men aren't allowed to post here without any background in these forums.
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/26 06:28 PM
10

Your soon-to-be ex lacks a spine or basic respect for you. He's not faithful and allows his friends to make racist jokes about you. He sucks. You're just 30 and panicking. Be glad you don't have kids with this man.
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/26 02:14 AM
1

Right, which is why I’d ask him. OP didn't do that. I encourage you to do some research. It’s incredibly rare even for true allegations to result in prison time. Maybe do your own on murder statistics, too, since that was the comparison. Right, but violence from a woman is much less likely to kill me or seriously injure me than violence from a man. The violence you're citing from men is literal murder. The facts are clear that lesbians experience more relationship violence. I doubt any who've be…
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/26 05:42 PM
2

It would depend a lot on his history and the reputation of the forum. You wouldn't know his history since you just met him and these forums are literally only designed to trash men. They don't exactly have reliability ratings. He also doesn’t have as much to fear from me as I do him: I can’t murder him with a couple punches. You can falsely accuse him of things and ruin his life or even get him sent to prison. Women are plenty dangerous in their own right. The more apt comparison is if I imagine…
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/26 04:23 PM
2

Fine. Here's a hypothetical. A man went on one great date with you, talked to you a lot over the course of a few weeks, and you felt like things were really going great. Then you found out he was looking for problems and red flags, not by asking people you know in common or who've had a history with you, but by posting on a public forum designed to shit talk women. Then he confesses to you on your second date that he let some guy trash talk you to him, claiming a friend went out with you and you…
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/26 10:20 AM
3

I've actually heard this from a lot of men, that women are looking for a reason for things not to work out before they even get off the ground. I don't really buy any of this story from the "friend of an ex." I can't think of a less reliable source. If it's some crazy chick who barely knows the guy or has some vendetta, a vindictive ex, the vindictive friend of an ex or whatever... if this is a good guy being slandered, he's not going to thank OP for doing this. If it's an abusive manipulator, O…
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/26 09:53 PM
5

Well, it's not just that. If this guy is just a good traditional guy, who dated a woman who wanted to try out a conservative man, but decided it wasn't her thing and exaggerated (ETA: or if she's some crazy chick who may or may not even know him)... he's going to be pissed you even posted in this group. So, you're getting unreliable information, while also risking any future relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/26 09:39 PM
3

It wasn't sarcasm. Men who punch walls and hit women are 👌. Let's open all the prisons. I don't engage with misandrists.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/26 09:29 PM
1

Yeah, I love abusers. As someone whose ex raped her, they're my fav.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/26 09:24 PM
4

I think that's the right choice if you like him. Why did you post there? I'm not attacking or trying to be aggressive with that question. I am genuinely curious about your initial reasons for posting about a guy you like who has shown you no red flags.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/26 09:22 PM
3

So, what, are we role playing here? OP didn't ask an ex if this guy was a good guy. She asked a Facebook group whose primary purpose is to shit talk men. Which is a position I really don't understand. That's fine, since you made that up.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/26 09:18 PM
4

That's not what happened. Your question is irrelevant to this post. If someone asked a friend directly, though, they'd respect me enough to keep their mouth shut about my private life. That's still not what happened, though. OP got this information from a stranger who may not even know this guy. Edited to Add: Life is not an SVU episode. I have five small children. If someone posted about my private abuse on Facebook, attaching my ex's name to it, I'd end the friendship and start sleeping with a…
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/26 09:15 PM
4

She is wondering if it's true. That's a primary theme of her post and comments. It's fine, though. No guy, good or bad, is going to date OP when she tells him about this. The problem will take care of itself.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/26 09:14 PM
3

OP doesn't know that any of this is true. She says herself she's seen no indication of this behavior. She's seeking out exes she doesn't know to gossip about him.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/26 08:42 PM
4

If I were a guy and a woman told me she posted in this group, I'd leave the date without a word and block her. OP is just getting to know this guy and gossiping with his ex about him _in writing on a public forum._ If he's a decent guy or not, he's going to be upset by that. "Information gathering" isn't something you do with an angry ex on Facebook who you've never met. That's called shit stirring.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/26 08:34 PM
5

My ex was a psychopath. Raped me, burned down my house, abused my pets, stole from me, continued breaking in after the divorce until I moved. Never in a million years would I have posted about him in a Facebook group. It would have caused more drama than I could handle. It would have poked the bear and incited his revenge. In fact, he once tried to claim a family member stole something from a store to have him arrested years after the divorce was finalized. Abused women don't antagonize their ab…
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/26 08:31 PM
5

Then why post in these groups? I would ignore her and cast your own judgements. If he was that bad and she's this set on letting people know, then she should have shared the police report. Hell hath no fury...
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/26 08:26 PM
4

Have you seen signs of these issues yourself?
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/26 07:01 PM
10

His ex. That's where this lost all relevance. It's fine to keep these things in the back of your mind, just in case, but this a liberal woman who broke up with a conservative guy and is trashing him on a Facebook group. She's not a reliable narrator. Unless you've seen these things yourself, I wouldn't give them much though. You should delete your post about him, thought. Posting in those groups is you waving your own red flag. ETA: Just to clarify, I have a lot of liberal friends who would not …
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/26 06:59 PM
41

Translation: "I was raped. Will men find that icky?" Good ones won't. That said, you need to address any trauma you have before trying to pursue a relationship with a man. It's not a good idea to bring that baggage along without at least making some effort to heal.
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/26 12:34 PM
1

I do not. I think that by the time women find their way here, they're rarely going to benefit from kid gloves.
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/26 12:32 PM
1

We used to have these male contributors who would be really harsh with posts like this and it seems I've taken up that baton.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/26 10:41 PM
–

I would caution you not to pursue men who identify themselves with an internet ideology. If a man actually claims to be "trad" or "Red Pill," it's usually an indicator that he's chronically online and has pretty misogynistic views about women. I would suggest you focus on men who come by the traditional beliefs and goals you want organically, but haven't necessarily heard of these online movements. Most religious men aren't going to want to be with non-religious women. If you're not religious an…
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/26 10:08 PM
–

Three more children.* You are correct, though. OP is determined to argue with every comment. Of course the responses are going to get more harsh, before people just stop engaging. Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/26 12:13 AM
–

You're refusing to listen to anyone. You've clearly done selective research at best. I'm done trying to talk to you. You aren't here for advice. You're here for agreement.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/26 12:11 AM
5

Fine. Die alone.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 11:10 PM
10

Your real life experience is non-existent if you're basing it on some ugly duckling glowup worthy of a Netflix movie based on a YA book. You're also preaching to the much more experienced choir. I weighed nearly 300 pounds when I got divorced from a psychopath at 23 and started my life over. I know what it feels like to be invisible, not just to men, but everyone. I once had a cashier motion to the person behind me that it was their turn, because they literally overlooked me. At 23 years old, my…
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 10:36 PM
8

You said that it's the "nature of men" to only want young women and a lot of them. That's not exactly a ringing endorsement for men. You are asking that and a bunch of married women who've been in these spaces for 15-20 years are telling you it's not true. Then you're arguing without any actual evidence.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 10:04 PM
11

It's not common knowledge because it's not true. You're not making it up. You're just wrong and/or listening to morons. You're very young. You need to go out and meet people. Base your views on real life experiences, not subreddits.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 09:54 PM
6

Plenty of posts here talk about Relationship Market Value versus Sexual Market Value. Men value different things based on their goals. A man who wants to have fun is going to have more superficial standards. One who wants a wife and kids is definitely looking for attributes like softness, organization, financial responsibility, sense of humor, loyalty... the list goes on. Everyone cares about attraction. That doesnt make them scum.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 09:52 PM
15

i’m 21 and i’ve only ever had one boyfriend back when i was 17, it was a short relationship. we never had sex and im still a virgin. It sounds like you definitely don't know the "true nature of men" then. Honestly, until you get out there and date and make male friends, anything you're thinking you "know" ahout men is just stuff you're reading online, hearing from friends, or straight up making up. You have no basis for the conclusions you've drawn. Go get some life experience.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 09:48 PM
11

I agree. Telling someone you don't want to know they betrayed you is not the same as giving permission to betray you. People can certainly disagree, but the logic isn't really difficult to grasp.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 09:14 PM
7

Oh, I am actually 💯 % with you on that. I've told my husband point blank that if he cheats in some one time lapse of judgement (as opposed to something longterm), he gets to live with it in silence. I don't want to know about something that puts me in a position where I have to decide if our family implodes or not. I just know that's not usually the popular stance and OP seems ready to confront her husband, so my advice to her is different.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 04:32 PM
9

they woke up early to see the sunrise, They promised that it's not the last time they see each other and I have no idea what happened later. He wrote about how he couldn't help but stare at her and how beautiful she was, how they exchanged snaps, how he accompanied her to the airport, cried in the bathroom for 10 minutes after she left and followed her flight on flightradar. I don't disagre that women tend to jump to conclusions, but I dont think that's what's happening here. In this case, OP wo…
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 03:50 PM
13

I don't disagree. Theoretically, I'd like to say I wouldn't end my marriage over this, especially since I have children and he's an amazing father. Marriage is supposed to be a lifelong commitment and people can make a lot of mistakes in a lifetime. Now his brief attraction to this other woman I do think you're downplaying this. Based on OP's post, I would say he likely cheated in every sense of the word. It was, however, several years ago, before they were married and OP has a very happy relati…
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/26 02:52 PM
3

If you weren't an EC, I'd be giving you a star. So here. 🌟🌟🌟🌟
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/26 02:23 PM
4

I can see that, but I think even then this is probably a very unique setup where both people need to be totally on board. I always hate these posts because you can tell OP is absolutely not up for it, but for some reason he's worth considering it.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 08:50 PM
4

The comment was downvoted and removed. I think you're unfairly blaming the whole community. It's Reddit. Have you been to the Gilmore Girls subreddit? Everyone's insane.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 08:39 PM
3

Even asexual folks like loyalty.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 08:38 PM
3

Translation: Scratching his itch takes priority over making you feel respected and valued. This is not a man who proposes, FYI.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 08:19 PM
9

In your specific case I think you'll experience a lot of pain and worry when he goes out with his friends and will ultimately decide this arrangement isn't worth it. You'd save yourself a lot of trouble cutting your losses now before the heartbreak and the long nights wondering what he's up to/if he's with another woman. I agree. This might work for some people, but OP seems to be considering it as a way to "keep" him, which I don't think she'll feel she actually gets to do when it's all said an…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 08:18 PM
15

I would have way more respect for this guy if he weren't specifically asking for a one sided open relationship as opposed to an open relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 08:15 PM
34

he is open to discussing parameters with me and would only do things that make me comfortable but has stressed to me that it is important to him Awww. How romantic. 🫶 i’m honestly refreshed by his radical honesty and he is very emotionally intelligent, reassuring and supportive Kudos to him. He's an excellent manipulator. however i do have wounds from getting cheated on in previous relationships + originally seeking monogamy in all future partners Seriously? Does the man fuck like a God and have…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 06:57 PM
2

For future instances, don't offer anything you don't mean. If you expect a man to pay, sit there and let him pay. Then thank him sweetly. If he asks you to pay, don't take offense. Just assume he's politely determined you're not a good romantic fit and act accordingly. Just as if a friend would expect you to pay for your meal, pay like it's no big deal at all (order accordingly as well). Be friendly and enjoy the rest of the date. The next steps can come later. There's no need for drama on the d…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 04:48 PM
3

tone for a whole relationship by offering. It just was so awkward in the moment that I kind of jumped in because he didn't take the lead and there was this awkward pause. I didn't even think about how that could be confusing because I'm just used to guys confidently paying on a first date, and if I offer they reassure me that they got it. You're honestly giving this whole thing way too much weight. You didn't set any tone. I don't think he did either, unless you just can't overlook it. Next time…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 03:56 PM
1

We don't disagree about the check. The drive was on him because he's choosing to date in a city where he doesn't yet live. It has literally nothing to do with OP, so she really doesn't owe him any real thanks or credit beyond the norm. Honestly, I'm just with you on the fact that OP appears to be looking for reasons to end things before they've even started and that's just not an effective way to date. None of these thinge are even post worthy. I went on second dates with guys I ended up not eve…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 03:43 PM
2

When a woman gives her time, attention, affection, care, emotional support, loyalty, and physical intimacy in a relationship, it's often seen as normal. Men give this, too. Similarly, when she asks for more quality time, communication, or emotional availability, some men respond by saying she is asking for too much or start drawing boundaries. Nope. That's really just when she asks for money. Why do you think this happens? It's his money, not hers. Where is the line between genuine partnership a…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 12:38 PM
4

It's really not a good point. You just met the guy.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 12:33 PM
3

Women should know that second dates aren't a prize to be won if they actually want a relationship and not just validation and admiration. I get telling OP not to pursue a relationship if this went on and she felt their values weren't aligned. The bar for a literal second meeting however, should not be this high. She had fun with him. She wants to see him again. Turning down a second date is stupid. This is why these women are single. If you want to get to know someone, don't set up landmines des…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 12:31 PM
3

It's a $3 coffee. Raise your standards if you think that makes her a sugar baby.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 12:27 PM
3

I think you're reading into this a bit. That said, I also think it's weird to drive two hours to meet someone and not buy her a $4 coffee when you asked her out first. I always offer to pay to be polite. And I'm always prepared to pay, I'm not just offering as a gesture. But I hope the guy will pay and usually he does. Bonus points if I offer and he turns it down quickly and reassures me that he's got it. It just really makes me feel taken care of. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, I thought…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 12:14 PM
4

A. This guy drove 2 hours to meet you. NGL, I would not have done that. It's also going to make a relationship mor difficult to sustain. You seem to gloss over that quickly to get to "I didn't get my free cup of coffee!" It do be like that sometimes. He asked her and really should have picked up the <$10 tab . That said, I do agree that OP is focusing on this small thing as reason to disqualify the guy, when this much bigger issue is absolutely going to doom the relationship. Edit: OP says the g…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 12:03 PM
2

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 You're right. He's totally justified in locking her in her room like a prisoner. Stay single for a bit.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 11:53 AM
3

A cup of coffee is like $3. The long drive seems like more justification to pick up the $7 tab if he likes her, as far as I'm concerned. Regardless, I did agree OP should go on a second date.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 11:53 AM
6

If you haven't met in person, this is called a pen pal.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 11:59 PM
7

There was briefly a term when I met my husband online that I haven't heard since: Zero Date. It was the title used for the first meeting to sort of designate it as "not a real date." He might have this attitude and just consider it more of a meet up than a date. Either way, you seem to have decent girlfriends who encourage you to pursue him and see where it goes. One more date, even if you're not compatible, is not a waste of time or energy. It's good that you're being open-minded here, because …
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 08:27 PM
24

It's okay if you're not into this. This is pretty... I don't know, choose your word... egalitarian/beta/passive. They all have different connotations and you don't seem to be into any of them. Is this just a sign that this guy isn't really a leader? I think it might be a sign that he's not willing to lead the relationship, but it might also be a sign that he's very gun shy with first dates. He might have thought you would be more comfortable in your own vehicle. He might not like covering the fi…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 08:11 PM
10

It’s reached a point where he is now controlling me. Controlling my schedule. Throwing away a lot of my clothes because my closet was stuffed. I’m now supposed to pay half the rent but be confined to my own room because he doesn’t want to give love to this “demon” inside of me. Well that took a hard left turn. Look, you're to blame for the snapping. You know that. You know you should have learned to control it. He doesn't get to lock you in the dungeon until you're nice to him, though. That's li…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 07:56 PM
5

You're only really in an ethical grey area if you continue the relationship under false pretenses. Saying you're going to try to make it work while the lease is current is reasonable. If, however, you're over it by the time the lease ends, you would probably be best served and showing the greatest moral choice, by moving on and cutting ties.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 02:50 PM
1

I don't think it's so much that women aren't cut out for work, as it is the masculine work and goals so many pursue. That doesn't really mean anything, of course. Humans aren't built for all kinds of things we pursue regardless. I think that might be why so many women feel so unfulfilled, though.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 02:27 PM
6

Yes, your first paragraph is all correct. I'm only framing this as using him or mooching, because you're literally talking about this as though you're taking financial advantage of him. He said even if I broke up with him he'd continue to finace my life (with the hopes of getting me back). Idk if I'd allow that but it shows that he wants do that on his own. This would be so problematic. He'd feel as though you owed him, as if you were giving him that in back to the relationship. Doing it knowing…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 02:24 PM
3

I definitely think you're internalizing normal dating issues. I could be wrong, but I think a lot of Gen Z and Millennials are bad about this. They think dating is so much worse today than it was twenty years ago. No one enjoys dating. We all just want to be arguing about what to watch on Netflix in our comfy pants. You just have to keep at it. That may not sound comforting at first, but consider the fact that the EC's here, the ones giving the most RPW advice on RPW... we're all married. If you…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 02:10 PM
10

I don't think you're a gold digger, but I do think this is a wildly contradictory narrative. Every problem we've had thus far has been 100% his fault. I promise I'm not exaggerating. He even agrees. He's occasionally started seeing a therapist, but he gets complacent. We've mostly (I) have come to the conclusion that he's only really motivated by negative reinforcement. i.e., me threatening to leave, break-up, emotional breakdowns, etc. I'm going to assume that all of this is true. You are a rel…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 01:30 PM
8

How old are you? If you're 37, then your time to meet, marry, settle in and have children is closing anyway. If you're 24, then you're just going to have to date men who definitely do not want children. Note, I said "definitely," which means no fence riders. If you know you don't want children, then you need to be dating men who feel the same way to avoid them changing their mind later. That's generally going to lead you to slightly older men, so I'd recommend dating men 30 and up, again dependi…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 01:13 PM
3

Good thing I repeatedly stated that these were generalizations then.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 01:01 PM
7

I'm trying to avoid fudging the rules here by not insulting RPW or members, but... why do you think an endorsed male commenter in a Red Pill space is much different than some course podcaster? You're comparing a likely radical online presence to other radical online presences. I'd say that's even more true if you're talking about PP. You're getting the worst of both sides, there. and men leaving or cheating on their wives for younger women is a familiar enough story that it’s basically a cliché.…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 12:58 PM
3

You asked for advice and then told me to stay on topic when you didn't like that I disagreed (politely initially) with the self diagnosis of a 37-year-old single woman's main issues. You came here demanding we regurgitate your own advice and narrow, simple self-assessment back to you and that's not the point of this sub. Maybe your refusal to self reflect is why you're single. No, no. Of course not. It's just whatever you say it is and that's all we're allowed to talk about per your rules.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 12:12 PM
3

I think you're getting into some evolutionary territory there. Women naturally want someone who can care for them and their children, whether that means dragging home an animal carcass big enough to feed everyone or a paycheck big enough to do it. It's instinctual, just as men want someone kind and nurturing, who can keep a comfortable home. Is it always a requirement? Of course not, but the desire to be taken care of is always there. We just do it in different ways. There are theories that wome…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 12:04 PM
3

Generally speaking, women are attracted to things men get more of as they age, like career and financial success, confidence, charisma. Men are born poor in the dating world and grow rich. Men, however, are just naturally more attracted to things women have in abundance, like youth, beauty, fertility, innocence, and less baggage. Women are born rich and grow poor (in the dating world, not as humans of value). So while you look at an older man and find him less attractive physically than, say, a …
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 11:51 AM
1

I think trusting one guy who has a different preference in women is a much bigger instance of taking things out of context. You're not single because you don't wear enough pink or speak more softly. It would just be an easier fix. If that's what you want to focus on, then by all means. Die alone. As for being on topic, this is a forum advising women on finding men. You're asking for help, because you don't know what you're doing. Demanding all advice be exactly what you want to hear, through the…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 11:31 AM
7

i know there’s a certain extent to it that they can’t help due to way evolution has designed them. but at times it feels hopeless to try and lock a guy down when it’s in his nature to want to sleep with many women, and young women at that. it’s depressing to think about it too long Having such a misandrist view does sound depressing. i’m 24 and given how men talk online and behind closed doors i already feel too old for many of them, especially other men in their 20s. i’m desperately using sunsc…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 11:11 AM
7

I won’t lie either when I do start caring for someone deeply I get anxiously attached and I have a hard time not trying to fix things when they pull away. This is much likelier to be your problem than your tomboy status, especially coupled with the anger and emotional baggage you mention in another comment. You're 37. Trying to fundamentally "change" your basic personality in this specific way just sounds like a recipe for faking it forever. Plenty of men like women who are less feminine or girl…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 10:52 AM
11

Indeed, it is subjective but I have never heard a men saying he prefer women who look older than him physically. While women does Men and women are different. They find different things attractive. This is honestly a pretty fundamental part of RPW and traditional (at the very least) relationship dynamics in general.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 10:46 AM
8

i actually have a good friend who clearly used to be deep into RP/MGTOW ideology. My husband thought I was being harsh when I called this guy a former incel, that is until he heard some of the things he had to say. He realized that I wasn't trying to insult the guy. It's just obviously true that he was once very angry at women and is still kind of sexist. While I do consider him a good friend today, I actually met him through his wife before they were even married... and I didn't like him. I tho…
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/26 10:37 PM
10

Agreed. If OP is looking for a serious relationship, it doesn't really serve her to be with an older man.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/26 04:41 PM
49

Some say an age gap of around 8 years should be the minimum while larger gaps are also viewed positively. "Some" being old men wanting to sleep with young women. Statistically speaking relationships work best with less than five years between a couple. I'm pretty sure the statistical ideal is three. The only people claiming otherwise have something to gain by misleading you.
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/26 11:59 AM
4

Would you stick it out if he didn't have money? You have your answer.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/26 12:40 PM
2

I'm actually not trying to be an ass. It just won't serve you to pretty this up in your mind. He played you. Accepting that is just part of preventing it next time.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/26 10:15 PM
1

Personally, I assume most influences are playing a character.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/26 07:39 PM
12

This isn't dodging a bullet. The guy got exactly what he wanted. You took the bullet right between the eyes.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/26 06:23 PM
13

I don’t know what to think. How? How could you possibly not know what to think? He told you verbatim that he didn't want a relationship or monogamy. You willfully ignored him and convinced yourself otherwise. He's not interested in a relationship... which he told you upfront. He apparently sucks in bed, too. Find someone else.
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/26 06:21 PM
9

Why would that be enough for you?
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/26 02:05 AM
2

It's hardly new. Women have been turning men down because they have unrealistic height expectations for ages.
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/26 05:16 PM
1

My husband is 5'7.5" and rounds up because it'seasier to say. It's never bothered me, because he's never been insecure about it. It's certainly not an issue when he's helping deep clean the house for a birthday party.
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/26 05:15 PM
1

You're 4'10". What discrepancy are you talking about? Are these men too tall for you, because they're pretty average for American men? If you're asking if you should hold out for someone taller, no. Being this short is a blessing for you, because there are some amazing guys who are only 5'6" who get looked over because women want someone taller than themselves. Most men are going to be taller than you. Congratulations, the field just opened real wide if you can get over yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/26 05:14 PM
3

This man doesn't have the schedule you're demanding. That's part of your problem. You have these totally reasonable boundaries, like not calling for a massage we all know is not just a massage at 11:00 at night. Then you get mad that he doesn't make plans in advance or have dates early enough in the day when that's literally not possible with his job. You're demanding to have everything your way, in both reasonable and totally unreasonable ways. You cannot date a self-made successful man and get…
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/26 05:07 PM
6

I think the people who are telling you that boundaries are shown, not spoken, are correct. This is a pretty trendy thing among Gen Z, talking incessantly about boundaries. The problem is, when you give these speeches (by talk or text), you come across as selfish or demanding, even if the boundary itself is not. As others have said, picking up the phone and lecturing him just accomplishes nothing. It also gives him the chance to say he called and wanted to see you and you turned him down. He gets…
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/26 02:51 PM
7

And no disrespect to him, but I already had doubts about him since he’s shorter than me which bothers me a little and he also seems to have arousal issues (he didn‘t orgasm when we had sex and had to masturbate afterward… when I asked him he just said he’s an old man and it doesn’t always work) I misread this. I apologize. You are burying some major leads among some very meh issues, though. The guy works a lot and seems very successful, so his late dates and lack of planning aren't as big as you…
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/26 02:12 PM
8

Groom yourself and you're good. That's really all there is to it. The shyness and awkwardness is one of the sweet parts of waiting. Embrace it.
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/26 01:15 PM
5

He's using her because she's too young and naive to realize it.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/26 03:40 PM
8

Someone needed to say it.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/26 12:26 PM
22

They're also way more likely to waste that time with a naive 18-year-old who sees nothing wrong with this.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/26 12:25 PM
30

I got divorced at 23. I'm 38 now, married to a much better man for 9 years with five kids. You're plenty young to start over and have the life you want with a man who respects you.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/26 11:59 PM
5

What happens if you leave it? Let him screw up? Let him deal with the consequences and mess? I'm not talking about when there's a safety issue or he's going to destroy food you made, but something that just has somewhat annoying consequences, like changing a diaper or letting the kid skip a nap? If we're talking about genuine incompetence here, he's going to have to learn to step up, but that only happens if you let him. So, let's say the screw up is not putting the coffee pot under the spout. T…
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/26 09:26 PM
3

Okay, then I understand your concern about this one as well. I still think you're putting mountains next to mole hills and calling them all mountains. I honestly think that what you're seeing here, in this instance that does seem more legitimate, is a husband who has already disengaged because of the constant criticism he gets for the smaller issues. To be clear, I am not saying that his behavior is never problematic. I don't think anyone is. We're saying you can only change yourself and your re…
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/26 05:22 PM
4

I cook and bake for a farmer's market every week. So, I get how frustrating that can be. I also commend you for not getting aggressive or defensive in your responses. If you truly believe he doesn't hear it, though, then don't leave it. Or listen for the alarm and call his attention to it if you must. If you really believe he doesn't hear it, this is really your only option. The only reason my husband hears the alarm is because it's an Amazon Echo and I'll turn it to top volume so he definitely …
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/26 05:18 PM
6

I had to put down what I was doing in the kitchen and come into the playroom and release my daughter from her sibling’s grip on her hair. No you didn't. It's hair pulling. Kids pull hair. I might have intervened, myself, but my husband might feel that he gets to let them work it out for a second. He's allowed to do that. He's their dad. The fact that you have this list of small infractions in your head spanning literal years is a huge problem in itself. If arms were getting broken or kids were c…
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/26 03:30 PM
7

FOUR YEARS?!? YOU'RE HOLDING ONTO A FORGOTTEN NAP FROM FOUR YEARS AGO?!?! This is not weaponized incompetence. This is a man trying to parent with an absolute control freak. This is ridiculous.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/26 01:22 PM
1

Honestly, it sounds like you're controlling and infantilzing when it comes to his ability to care for a child. You talk about him like he's your brain damaged ward. Sometimes the poop doesn't stay in the diaper. Sometimes babies fall. A child waiting for a bottle is hardly Reddit worthy. He does not have to parent like you. He does not have to do it perfectly. I guarantee you don't. What you're describing is exactly the reason men disengage and stop trying. You think it's exhausting to parent wi…
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/26 01:20 PM
15

I'm not available for ambiguity. It sounds like you are, actually. You know what to do here. Stop seeing him. Stop being alone with him. He's told you that you have absolutely no chance. If you pursue this and feel used, it's on you.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/26 01:14 PM
20

You don't need to salvage your relationship with your family to decide that you're not going to be treated this way. You have no kids. Do you want this forever?
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/26 09:49 PM
1

I'm sorry. 😕 It's better to know now.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/26 09:01 PM
1

They're not assuming anything. She's saying verbatim that she wants to keep the child. She doesn't owe her child to the infertile if she wants to raise it.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/26 04:43 PM
4

"I'm the wrong audience for this. You can consume whatever media you want, but I don't want to hear about it." You're under no obligation to listen to his nonsense.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/26 01:33 PM
14

You can't. You don't have a penis. You don't have the social standing of a man. You'll never have either. You need to work to do these things as a woman. There are plenty of successful, knowledgeable women out there and they didn't get there by cosplaying as men. Find one. Find two. Make those cold calls. Women know how to use phones, too.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/26 01:27 PM
4

He didn't force you into anything. You're a grown woman who made a choice. You should get some therapy for this, but part of moving on is going to be accepting responsibility.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/26 01:25 PM
3

OP mentions a good support system and pretty solid financial stability. Plenty of women raise children on their own, even married ones.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/26 01:23 PM
3

He took the same risks you took. His feelings aren't more relevant. The fact is, RP is amoral. No one should be preaching to you on the ethics of abortion in this space. How you feel about it is entirely relevant, since you're the one going through it. If you feel it's immoral to abort, you have zero obligation to do so for the feelings of a grown man who knowingly took a risk. Boohoo for him.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/26 01:21 PM
8

The number one way couples meet is online. Dating has always sucked. That's the entire basis of most sitcoms. Get out there and date. How isn't as important as actually doing it. My cousin met her husband online, as did I. The cousin who refused to try is 39 and single. You're going to have to make an effort. The beauty of online dating is that a lot of that effort can be done in your comfy pants at home. Still, the first meet is always nerve racking. You will survive.
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/26 06:51 PM
7

I'm not telling you to ask about that night. He's told you what he's going to tell you and you are rightfully still suspicious. Leave that be, because you're not getting more information and beating a dead horse isn't resolving any issues. When I say ask questions, what I mean is this: "Do you feel like our relationship is heading toward marriage?" "What, specifically, do you think needs to happen to get to the point of engagement? What is my role and what is yours?" "Do you feel railroaded? Wou…
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/26 05:55 PM
7

It's great that you're willing to accept fault here, but you're also downplaying his behavior. So now, when I say that I think that the current dynamic is related to his past lie, he reminds me I was already nagging before that incident, and reminds me of all the times and reasons i nagged. Yeah, that's a deflection. He doesn't get to blame you for his sketchy behavior. You shouldn't have "forgiven" him and continued to bring it up, but faithful men don't do this. If my husband had gone to a fri…
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/26 05:37 PM
12

So, this was my initial thought before reading your comments: Your boyfriend seems threatened by the possibility of making a lifelong commitment, as if he's not ready but feels compelled to move things forward. He seems to be finding fault in you and your relationship as a way to blame you. After reading your comments, I definitely think this is the issue. Going over to a coworker's place for what is essentially a double date and lying about it is not the behavior of a man who wants to propose, …
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/26 05:09 PM
17

RPW is a tool kit. I take what works and leave the rest. At different times in life, I've used different tools. I don't feel compelled to "maintain" my RPW status. It's a social ideology, not a religion.
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/26 02:31 PM
7

If you really want to... I don't know, internalize the reality of the dating world, read Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough, by Lori Gottlieb. Ignore the title. It's more about acknowledging the reality of who is out there and available to you. It'll help.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/26 07:06 PM
12

Oh, I fully agree. She doesn't need to end things, but she does need to realize what she's got before he does.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/26 05:34 PM
21

I feel like anyone who wants to move quickly is suspect because of how long my partner dragged out everything without commitment. ... or they're 39 and want kids. Part of me thinks I will likely never find a high quality man so I shouldn’t even bother; part of me is a little desperate to find someone quickly and settle down while I still have a few years left of fertility. Honestly, it doesn't sound like either of these things are happening with this man. You say he's not necessarily cute in the…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/26 04:27 PM
7

They mean that this guy is trying to manipulate you and groom you. If you want to learn about being submissive, you do it on your own, not as some weird Stepford project for some dude.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/26 11:23 PM
1

This is a women's group. You're not a woman. The standard for removing comments from men is on the floor. No one here needs your advice or opinion at all. If they want male voices they're seeking them elsewhere.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/26 09:22 PM
2

Asking for photos like this isn't okay if you haven't met in person and don't plan to date.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/26 09:20 PM
6

It's not normal. He's not asking for photos to be your friend.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/26 04:56 PM
20

This is a waste of time. Meeting online is fine, but you need to be dating in person.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/26 03:49 PM
3

Your comment was literally removed because it was offensive. 🙄 Learning how guys think is only relevant when it's interesting or unique in some way, not when it's the same Fresh and Fit garbage as always. That's why there are rules for men's participation here.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/26 11:30 AM
1

How old are you? I think it's fine for him to appreciate that you're a virgin. I think it's crass for him to tell people you're a virgin.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/26 11:28 AM
3

You're not talking to guys. If you want people to hear you, you need to cater your argument to them.
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/26 10:05 PM
3

This is true, but if OP wants kids, most men over 40 won't. Even the ones who will will still face the biological reality that men's genetic material is also not as high quality after age 43 and birth defects are more common.
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/26 12:24 PM
7

Oh, it is not. If OP wants to get married and have kids, age absolutely matters.
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/26 12:22 PM
8

I don't think this is wholly wrong. I agree that a mid-thirties man might not want to be with a 23-year-old, but "it doesn't narrow?" Of course it does. An average successful 35-year-old man can easily date a 27-year-old over a 33-year-old. In fact, since he likely wouldn't have dated the 33-year-old at all five years earlier, I'd say his options have exponentially increased. We all know that, all other things being equal, he's likely to choose a younger woman. That doesn't mean it's all over fo…
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/26 12:22 PM
28

I definitely think it will be somewhat harder dating at my age especially because I'm more introverted, but realistically, how much does the dating pool narrow? So, you know this and that's awesome. You're being realistic about the dating scene. That's only half the work, though. You're going to have to compensate for this. I don't mean personally, but through your own behavior. At 33, you're going to have to get over your introversion to meet men... which is honestly true at 23, just to a lesse…
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/26 02:11 AM
1

There were literally a dozen better ways for you to respond to that comment. You're being openly hostile to Endorsed Contributors in a space you've never been. I wanted like minded people having a discussion. Then you really missed an opportunity by being needlessly aggressive in a new place. I don't feel welcome. Gee. I wonder what you could have done to cause that? Thanks 😉 good luck recruiting in your boys club. Boys are much nicer than you've been. We're actually pretty welcoming to newbies …
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/26 09:06 PM
1

Which others seem defensive? The ones who ask what brings you here? Because that's how this started.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/26 08:55 PM
1

Please point out which part of my question judged you or showed literally any negativity at all. I was just curious what you were looking for with this post, since you've made it so many times and in such a variety or places. Discussion? Solidarity? Apparently it was just a soap box. You spammed Reddit with this somewhat preachy tale of marriage number three and how perfect it is after four days. You've gotten nothing but upvotes here, despite it being removed and downvoted elsewhere, yet one ve…
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/26 07:11 PM
2

You've posted this on five different subs. What's the goal here?
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/26 12:37 PM
1

Bruh, it was literally one small blunder on a second date. No wonder you people can't find husbands.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/26 07:51 AM
3

Choose a low cost of living state and stay within your means. People all over the country do this every day.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/26 04:28 AM
3

I can... but honestly not enough to post about it. 🤷‍♀️ This is just not that big of a deal and it feels like OP is looking for faults.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/26 07:14 PM
3

Oh, I totally agree the phrasing was clunky. Clunky, however, doesn't equate to a red flag when she otherwise likes him and doesn't have evidence he's selfish or thoughtless. It's just a second date.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/26 07:05 PM
5

You're right. Telling him to make an offer you consider unsafe because you somehow consider it concern for your safety is, though. I'm also not sure why your travel arrangements are his problem after date two. Should he also pay for your gas when you do get a car? What about oil changes? Maybe put an itemized list on the dating profile for the future.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/26 06:16 PM
18

What's funny is, there are a handful of small things like this that happened between my husband and I in early dating. Just miscommunications, doing something we didn't even realize, or something we didn't mean, only to later mention it in conversation and get the chance to explain. If he'd written me off for the sarcastic remark I made on our second date or I'd written him off for the time he promised not to be late and failed, we wouldn't be here. I think everyone in these comments is fundamen…
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/26 12:50 PM
6

The only thing that matters in a man is character. Well, that's not true for men any more than it is for women. Work ethic, ambition, financial savvy, life goals... these are all entirely relevant. As for plumbing, plenty of blue collar men have these things. I don't think it's the industry that's the problem here.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/26 11:56 AM
5

At the same time, I keep questioning whether kindness alone is enough long term. I see a lot of women talk about ambition, financial stability, compatibility, attraction, lifestyle, etc. and I’m wondering if I’m overlooking those things because this is my first relationship and I’m attached to how safe he makes me feel emotionally. I wanted to call your family elitest assholes, but I think you might be missing the forest for the trees here. If the issue were simply his education and current job,…
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/26 11:53 AM
8

If we have to hand out red flags, I'm giving one to OP first for trying to find fault where it doesn't exist.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/26 11:37 AM
8

What if he didn't feel comfortable? What if his car was really messy? What if he wasn't comfortable with being alone in a setting where a woman could assume he was trying to make a move for sex? What if he didn't want to be alone with a woman he just met? Why do only OP's feelings matter when it's his vehicle, gas, and time?
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/26 11:35 AM
10

Right? No wonder all these women are single. It's the blind leading the blind.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/26 11:31 AM
5

If he had safety reasons for not giving you a ride, he wouldn't have brought it up in the first place. I feel like his (terrible) excuse is genuine, which means he might be self-centered in other ways. I agree with everything but this. You do not know he didn't have safety concerns just because he used a crappy excuse. Every single person commenting on this has said something stupid on a good date or done something unintentionally offensive. Drawing these kinds of conclusions from his admittedly…
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/26 11:30 AM
5

This is such bad logic. You admit it's inappropriate behavior, but claim he should offer anyway or it's a red flag. Why should he offer to do something that makes many women uncomfortable? If your argument were that driving her home was the right thing to do, fine, but you admit that that's not the case. This is called game playing.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/26 11:25 AM
7

This is a conclusion you're drawing based on the secondhand story of a person you've never met, about another person you've never met. That's not how you use the word "clearly." This isn't clear at all. There could be any number of reasons he didn't take her home. It is pretty clear why so many people are single today, though.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/26 11:21 AM
8

It was an example of a negative on a date, based on a pretty common unacceptable character trait today. I'm not sure why this is a confusing example for people. If I said racist or sexist, no one would be questioning it, but I edited the comment to make it more clear.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/26 11:15 AM
61

Edit: These comments are wild. OP, consider the source when asking for dating advice. If one piece of advice comes from the ones in happy relationships and the opposite comes from single women, consider that information with what you hope to accomplish. I genuinely like the guy though, so I don’t know if I’m just being harsh. We had two good dates and I enjoy his company. I find him a good conversationalist and intelligent. This is how you know you're being too harsh. You like him. You want to s…
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 10:59 PM
1

The answer isn't going to change. You know how unrealistic you're being or you wouldn't keep asking.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 07:33 PM
22

I think women struggle more with the reality of their lives. Men grow up with a greater understanding of their limitations. They're told from an early age that if they aren't tall enough, fast enough, smart enough or rich enough, they can't do certain things. Little girls, through the over correction of feminism, are told that they can be whatever they want to be and do whatever they want to do. That's... well, false. We all make choices and those choices cancel out other ones. There's a famous …
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 02:50 PM
5

In this context, it matters because OP has posted multiple times and she's being selfish and unrealistic. The comment was general, though. Not being able to leave your two kids a house because they have to share it with six others isn't a reason to limit your family size. My grandmother thought she'd leave us hundreds of thousands. Now, at 91, with end of life care, she'll be lucky to even own the house. Anything can happen and this is not a good basis for your life choices. Quality of life is e…
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 12:53 PM
1

I'm not sure why your anti-family rhetoric is relevant here, but plenty of people have big, happy families. As someone with five kids, I know a lot of large families. The only ones who complain about how expensive kids are are the ones who only have two. The rest of us know this rhetoric is hyperbolic at best.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 12:28 PM
7

This is hilarious. I have five kids under five who I stay home with after leaving a well-paid career. My husband works and I do some fun side hustles to bring in fun money. I don't have a career or an education. We can tell. The only women who make this argument are using it as a cope, because they're threatened by educated, successful women. We see this kind of comment from men usually, to mask their insecurity when a woman makes more money, is more educated, or works in a more masculine field.…
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 12:24 PM
2

Okay. Maybe that's changed in six months as she claims? We can only go off what she says.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 12:19 PM
2

Yes. This is wildly unrealistic... still, because I'm pretty sure you've asked this question several times and gotten the same answers each one. This isn’t happening, no matter which internet people you ask.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 06:20 AM
4

I was supporting your point, not arguing. The sentence I quoted seems to be suggesting that hot women might be able to get away with being irresponsible with money, but unattractive women also exist. My point was that it doesn't matter either way, because financial responsibility is always an asset. I was not disagreeing with you.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 04:41 AM
8

You can ask them about their career trajectory I think most 30-something men at least know their career trajectory and have shown some advancement toward achieving their goals. I'm not saying a 32-year-old should have a thriving business or be a partner in a firm, but he should probably have a concrete plan to get it and have shown at least some progress by this point. Maybe he's a doctor in his residency or a lawyer who's just finished school, but he's not usually still figuring out what he wan…
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 04:16 AM
9

I suppose you'd need money to be financially responsible? If a man is threatened by this requirement from a woman who can pay her bills and save, then she should keep looking.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 04:12 AM
3

I was mostly pointing out that a 30-something man probably shouldn't be in the building stage. That's a red flag at that point. OP mentioned that she's dating men in their 30s.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 03:44 AM
10

This is age dependent. If OP is 22, sure. If she's 32, not so much.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 03:19 AM
15

"Financial responsibility."
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 03:19 AM
6

At the same time unattractive women exist and financial stability would be something brought to the table. It doesn't matter if OP is attractive. Men don't want to dig women out of their financial holes, even hot ones.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 03:17 AM
7

She specifically asked how to vet for this without sounding like a gold digger. Saying she's responsible with money is hardly the same as bragging about her career. McDonald's cashiers still have to manage their money... if anything, they'd have to be better at it, because they'd have much less of it. Even so, the McDonald's comment is a wild stretch. Class matters. Educational background matters. Men want to date adults. Adults work and manage their finances without sugar daddies.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/26 03:13 AM
43

Put it in your profile, as something you bring to the table, the same way you would something like fitness "I'm active and physically fit and looking for the same." "I have a strong financial plan and am looking for someone who offers the same." This is the nicest way of saying "Broke bums need not apply." Edit to Add: OP, I can't really tell your financial situation from the comments. People have dug up your post history and said things weren't looking good recently. You've commented that you'v…
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/26 08:31 PM
8

Her own single girl wisdom.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/26 01:45 PM
7

You've already posted this. It was the stupid approach of an eternally single woman then, too. It got deleted for a reason.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/26 01:43 PM
2

I was genuinely suggesting you word it differently. Maybe see if Chat GPT or something can give you something less slanted.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/26 01:26 PM
18

At 29, I really wouldn't consider your n count in this, not that I'd suggest it at 21 either. At this point, though, you need to be dating men with careers. That's it. Established careers. Teachers, nurses, EMTs, accountants, the director of public works, whatever. He needs to be in a job with a retirement plan and progressive wage and responsibility increases. No one else gets a first date.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/26 01:05 PM
8

What answer are you expecting to get here? Do you think women on a subreddit dedicated to marriage are really going to say they don't respect men who don't stare at their/other women's boobs all the time? If you're just asking out of curiosity, you need to change your question. This is basically: "What are your thoughts on respectful and considerate men who aren't perverts?" Um... pro?
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/26 12:52 PM
4

Shout out to my own ex... but I never really blamed the video games. He was a lazy piece of shit who would have wasted his life some other way.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/26 12:44 PM
9

There are more men than the two archetypes of "gym rat" and "gamer." Plenty of successful, social, fit young men play video games, just as plenty of normal guys who aren't obsessed with protein go to the gym. In fact, I'd actually advise a woman against considering a video game hobby a red flag, because it's going to decimate your options for both Millennials and Gen Z, for essentially no reason. If you're not into video games or don't want to date someone who's too into them, certainly call it …
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/26 12:43 PM
40

The biggest issue is that he seems to lack direction in life. He’s currently unemployed except for a small weekend job that pays minimum wage, and I haven’t really seen him take initiative toward improving his situation. I’ve suggested a few ideas or paths he could explore, but he says they’re “not his calling.” His mindset is more along the lines of: “If you love doing something enough, the money will come.” Don't date men like this... period, but certainly not for three months. No amount of ki…
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/26 12:34 PM
6

EDIT: I took some space away from him after an altercation where he called me a name. He was very angry and wanted to talk it through. He is essentially saying I am causing him to blow up and sends me videos about how women train men to be angry. He said that he will work on it but that I need to work on the respect first as that is the source of his blow ups. I took more space after that and didn’t communicate / didn’t call him back on the day he asked me to. He became upset and ended things wi…
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/26 02:07 PM
1

Well, you're still single. 🤷‍♀️ To the person who asked, my point is that taking stupid advice from single women isn't going to find you love, just as it hasn't found them love. If that's offensive to you, we'll see you when you realize why you're alone.
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/26 01:41 PM
23

He does expect me to wear skirts/dress virtually all the time if I am around him. I told him I felt it was unreasonable and he said I can ask for permission from him to wear pants and he gets to decide if it’s a yes or This is... a lot of power to give a fiance. He also uses my education against me, saying I “tried so hard to get my degree” and why I’m not trying as hard in the relationship. How are you not trying? Is it just because you want to choose your own clothing? Disrespect to him is not…
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/26 09:34 PM
8

I was genuinely curious about him and liked listening to him, but I barely asked questions or showed interest outwardly, mostly out of not wanting to pry too much. Well, the good news is, this is an easy fix. Ask questions. It really is that simple. He tells you about his family's land. You ask if they lived on land when he was growing up. He mentions his brother. You ask if he's close with him. He says he's allergic to dogs. You ask what pets he had as a kid. Ask questions. Ask follow-up questi…
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/26 08:52 PM
5

Well, for starters, you either keep your past to yourself or find someone who can handle it. I understand wanting to be honest, but there is no happy middle ground where you tell him about your sluttier days and he judges you for it until the end of time. Plenty of men don't ask about this stuff and many even just have realistic expectations about women's pasts. Just to note, as I feel I must on these comments, my number is two. This is not a cope. These men exist and if he can't let go of your …
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/26 04:31 PM
4

Submission is really for husbands, not men who haven't bothered to ask for several years. Maybe the anger issues are something you should address, but perhaps you're also struggling with them because deep down, you feel he hasn't earned this level of respect. These are husband privileges that you're giving to a boyfriend.
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/26 02:02 PM
5

Oh, I'm not justifying it. I just think there are plenty of people around her who would.
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/26 11:29 PM
1

Why would you share that? I'm not saying that there's necessarily something inherently wrong with it, but you should be presenting yourself in the best light and opening with that information isn't really the best way to do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 10:57 PM
2

I think the issue here (not with this guy, who seems to have many issues) is really just one of effort. Someone actively trying to date, willing to ask and be asked, is obviously going to have more dates. A man who doesn't care might have one a year. A man who cares a lot might have 2 or 3 a month. A man who'd like to find someone... I'd still say about one a month.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 10:55 PM
15

As someone living in the religious South, this post didn't even phase me. 🤣 In all fairness to OP, she sounds like she's part of a culture that presses the idea that you can just "fix" your gaydom.
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/26 10:53 PM
11

To summarize, I found gay porn on my boyfriend’s phone. 👋 We had a conversation about it and he cried about it and talked about how he’s talked to men online sexually more times than he can count, but that some of them look like women and so it’s really not gay, and he blocks them when he’s done with them anyways so it doesn’t matter because they “aren’t real”. 🏃‍♂️ He also claimed he hasn’t talked to anyone sexually since we got together. (We’ve been together 4 months have not had sex yet) This…
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/26 10:49 PM
-2

Sorry no one wants to date you. I can't imagine why.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 10:01 PM
–

Oh, you did not. You posted a bunch of man hating vitriol and are having a tantrum because he called you out on it. My toddlers don't throw this much of a fit when proven wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 07:22 PM
2

Seconded. One a month seems about normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 06:17 PM
1

Just to clarify, 27 is still young. You're certainly not too old to start over with a grownup.
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/26 03:44 PM
5

It sounds like you guys can work on this particular communication issue. Just remember, it's not that either of you is wrong. It's just that you communicate very differently and it sounds like he's channeling a method that's most effective for him in a different setting.
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/26 09:37 PM
20

It is if he doesn't see a problem with the issues you've listed. You can't change people. They can barely change themselves even if they really want to. Considering the fact that he yelled at you for doing something you both agreed to and hasn't spoken to you in two days, it doesn't sound like there's much of a path forward.
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/26 09:11 PM
17

Other than this, he is everything I want in a partner and I just wish we could figure how to have conflict in a healthy way. I don't know if therapy will work, but I'm sure it's worth a try. I just want to say, however, as someone who married a stoic, this is a big "other than this" if you feel you're a very emotional person. In the best case scenario, you're always going to have very different communication styles, but someone like the man you describe is likely going to struggle with empathy n…
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/26 09:05 PM
25

I only have a basic understanding of “red pill” ideas, but my boyfriend considers himself very knowledgeable about them. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Since then, he’s gained weight and become a bit chubby, 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 yelled at me and said I don't use my brain or think things through. He’s now been giving me the silent treatment for two days over it. 🔥🚩🔥🚩🔥🚩 I have a pretty high sex drive, and during the first two years of our relationship we would have sex multiple times a day. Now it’s more like three times a month. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 …
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/26 08:18 PM
9

I think, outside of being traumatized in some way or being asexual, most people eventually want a romantic relationship. Maybe they don't want kids or marriage, but they want someone to sit next to them at a funeral or on a train to Paris. They want someone to wake up to on Saturday morning, to come running when they hear a crash, to mock Netflix movies with them. Even the friends who don't get married and have kids tend to still find someone. So even if your friends aren't busy at PTA meetings,…
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/26 05:33 PM
15

People who are happy don't need to find a bunch of people who are happy in exactly the same way to start an online movement promoting their specific brand of happiness. That's not to say that there aren't women who are very happy single. I was happy single. I needed that time. I had fun. Then it got old. That's not necessarily the case for everyone. Those people who are happy alone, however, are too busy being happy to tell the internet how happy they are for clicks and likes. So, yes. It's a co…
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/26 04:35 PM
12

It's also worth considering that submission doesn't just apply to the things OP doesn't want to decide for herself. Submission means driving the car another year, because he points out that that's the most responsible move financially. Submission is not just letting him plan the trip to see his own family, because you don't care.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/26 09:45 PM
3

Quit being a simp and begging feminists to hold your hand?
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/26 06:38 PM
20

I also think she's asking because it turns her on to be told no or that she can't wear it. Then she second guesses whether that reaction is normal and asks the internet. They tell her he's abusive, so she quizzes him more and acts offended. This poor guy must be so confused.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/26 02:16 PM
46

You already asked about this here. You were overwhelmingly told that his boundary was perfectly fine. Stop quizzing the internet about your relationship. Stop baiting your poor boyfriend with stupid hypotheticals so you can trap him, because you can't decide if it's offensive or hot to be told what to do. This is a you problem. Just stop.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/26 01:52 PM
16

Just have mixed seating and enjoy the day with your new friends and family. You're becoming part of each other's families, so there really is no his or hers. As for the wedding party, talk to your fiance. Explain how it would make you feel to have a very uneven line up. Tell him you're bothered by it and see what he suggests.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/26 03:53 AM
1

Dude. I'm not trying to he an ass here, but your parents think this woman isn't real. You need to be careful, as in careful about your physical safety.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/26 02:51 PM
1

His parents literally think she's fake. This woman might be fake. This guy might actually be setting himself up for some kind of attack.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/26 02:50 PM
8

I don't think she needs therapy. Being stuck in her head is the problem. She needs to go outside and talk to people.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/26 12:24 PM
0

You just described a totally different scenario. Glad it worked. Mine did too and has about as much in common with this one as yours did.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/26 12:16 PM
5

Confront her. Bluntly. See how she responds. Don't be cruel or anything, but take her by surprise and you'll get an honest answer. Next time you FaceTime or video call, ask whatever it is you want to know. "So I love the top you're wearing. Is there a reason you seem to be dressing up more?" Based on the answer she gives to that... "Is this still working for you? Are you making more of an effort in your appearance because you want to find someone local?" Be kind, not accusatory, but catch her of…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/26 09:09 AM
30

Stop consuming whatever media you're consuming. Panic is not going to make you any more attractive. Is it true that men prefer younger women? Yes. Is 24 still very young? Also yes. As a 24-year-old virgin, my advice is to get out there and date. That doesn't mean you need to get physical with men. You don't have to have sex to gain experience talking to men, flirting, reading them, hearing what they say and knowing it's exactly what they mean. That stuff takes practice, though, and if you want t…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/26 09:06 AM
1

Breaking up sucks? She didn't expect an LDR to be like this? Being officially single is daunting and scary? Someone you never see in person can be someone you care about, even if you don't want to be with them romantically anymore? She wants to end things in person? She's hasn't admitted she's looking and that you're her backup? Why does anyone drag their feet when leaving a relationship?
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/26 08:54 AM
6

We’ve been in a long-distance relationship for about a year now, and honestly everything has been going really well. That's not a real relationship. She's looking for a real relationship with someone local. She just wants to build a life raft before she jumps ship. Men aren't allowed to post here. I'm sure this will get deleted soon, but you wanted honesty. That is 100% what's happening.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/26 08:27 AM
6

Eh. Dressing modestly isn't going to change how visual men are, just the cues they pick up on. We're not big on subtlety in western culture, but if we were to revert back to more modest times, men would just obsess about different visual cues like they've done in the past. Once upon a time, women wore corsets to look slimmer under several layers of fabric. Later, they drew lines on their legs to appear as though they wore pantyhose in war time when Nylon was scarce, because it called attention t…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/26 05:58 AM
5

I think you're asking a broader question than you realize. Islam, Mennonite, LDS... all fall under this header while being completely and totally different.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/26 05:13 AM
3

I'm not saying the point is to make them appear more honestly attractive so much as that it's the natural result. When a 4 gets a glow up in the U.S., she can pull off calling herself a 7. When she does it in a culture like what you mention, she could get to a five, maybe. These cultures emphasize wife skills, but attraction is still part of human mating. Whatever is physically attractive in a culture is physically attractive in that culture. In the U.S., it's how you look in a swimsuit. In a sm…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/26 05:08 AM
3

If anything, I'd say these cultures make it clearer whether a woman is truly attractive or not. Assuming we're not talking about women living under apartheid, in which case marriages aren't really about attraction, these cultures typically mandate little to no enhancements. By that, I mean makeup, shape wear, push up bras, heels, hair extensions, you get the idea. A 7 in Amish attire is just a more honest 7. Additionally, if we're talking marriage, we're talking about relationship market value (…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/26 04:46 AM
–

I generally agree. I think the relationship has hit a point where he's reconsidering for any number of reasons. Its just easier to place the blame on OP. She needs to focus on herself a bit more, even if she wants to try to save the relationship, because I don't think it's going to work. If it does, she still needs a sense of identity outside of entertaining him despite her exhaustion.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/26 03:22 AM
2

She doesn't really owe him that regardless. What happens when she breaks up? She's "fair game" again? Young men and women both struggle with social cues that used to be far more universally understood. If he's not getting that she isn't interested, this isn't necessarily going to help.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/26 03:16 AM
6

I wouldn't focus on being "soft," but firm. In general, if you're responding clearly and firmly the first time, you won't have as many issues in the future. "I'm in a relationship. Would you like to set up a study/work group instead?" If you don't think that's any of their business, then be direct without an explanation. "Thank you. I'm not interested. I was thinking of getting everyone together for drinks after work, though. Would you like to come?" You don't owe anyone extensive explanation fo…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/26 12:56 AM
2

I'm sure, but I got the impression he waited them out on purpose. I mean, he sucks regardless.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/26 04:19 PM
6

... or the old bait and switch.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/26 12:42 PM
6

If you're not vetting, that's on you. Texting someone for a few days, talking on the phone, even video calls are pretty commonplace in online dating. That's vetting. While I went on a lot of dates with guys who were incompatible, most were perfectly nice. We just didn't click. Most men revealed their creepy or weird after a few days of messaging. That's still vetting. You'll never be able to screen for everything when you haven't met someone. Not everyone can date within their friends and family…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/26 12:40 PM
8

Dating apps are all the same, because all dating has always been the same. Gen Z thinks there's something unique and horrible about online dating, but dating organically was exactly the same for Millennials. We just didn't get to do it in our comfy pants and had to shave our legs for some guy to make a crude remark. No matter what kind of dating form you use, you're going to be talking to flakes, fake Christians, openly horny guys, men with lame jobs, etc. Watch an episode of Friends or How I Me…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/26 12:35 PM
1

Based on her post, he sat there awkwardly for ages until they had no choice but to print the check.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/26 12:22 PM
2

She sees him every single day. When she is with him, she's exhausted because she takes no time for herself. Pulling back is what she needs to do for her, because he's reconsidering the relationship. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is a saying for a reason as well, though. If she wants to reconnect with him, she needs to choose her moments and make them count, not just be around like a house cat all the time.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/26 12:20 PM
12

We live in NYC about 2 blocks from each other, so we spend a lot of time together to the point where we effectively live together. We see each other almost every day. Pull back. You don't live together. You're not married. If you want your time together to feel intentional, be intentional. Dating for an extended period of time without marriage is not something I'm happy with, nor is it something my family wants. I've made some compromises to meet this imbalance, including introducing my parents …
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/26 10:04 PM
16

I think we're too obsessed with buzz words. Neither of these ideas are concrete. If you ask two women to define them, they'll have two entirely different definitions. As a mother of five under five, I'd hardly describe femininity as being free of burdens or having a calm life. Femininity for me is being the one to comfort the toddler who just got in trouble, making the birthday magic happen, sleeping on the cot in the children's hospital, or making extra money on side gigs so my kids can have ex…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/26 03:40 AM
2

You might see if your local library or game store does events. If you're religious, a larger church might have something.
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/26 07:49 PM
3

The good news is, that Venn Diagram is just a circle. If you want to meet these men, I'd suggest doing so in person, not online. Too many people like this end up in long distance "relationships" with no plan to close the gap. If you're both as you describe, then that's far more likely to happen. So, meet men on dating apps, taking it offline quickly. Otherwise, try some hobby groups, like Magic the Gathering and Pokémon card events. See if you can join a DnD group. If you're in school, I bet any…
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/26 07:34 PM
15

Well, I got divorced at 23 and remarried at 29 to a man who had never been married. You might not have all the time in the world, but you do have time. It's also likely easier to find someone who wants a traditional relationship in the South. I cannot imagine how daunting Southern dating would be compared to a northeastern blue state, though. Just don't waste your time wallowing and you'll be fine.
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/26 03:58 PM
46

Tbh, i’m very upset with how my life ended up even though i’m healthy and have a stable job. I try to convince myself i’m fine. But I was raised by a career women tiger mom and was taught l fiercely focused on academics and never taught about relationships - which is now what matters to me most of all. I’m focusing on the now but is there anything else I can do? Trying to avoid anti depressants here. Just wondering if any of you who discovered RP late or have had bouts of depression ever got you…
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/26 03:33 PM
6

The point is, if you're single, your strategy isn't one that works. Judging from your comment history, that is indeed the case. u/_pumpkin_muffin is just too nice to say it verbatim.
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/26 03:28 PM
12

Agreed. I try to see these things as objectively as possible, because I do tend to think the man should pay, but I know that thinking is far from universal. If he wanted to go Dutch, he shouldn't have chosen an expensive restaurant and he should have been more transparent about it when the bill came.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/26 11:33 PM
9

Yeah, I've often heard of people who go Dutch doing so after the first few dates. Even my liberal guy friends who prefer to split think the man should pay on the first couple of dates, mostly because he's usually the one to ask. This guy showed that he doesn't share OP's worldview and he did so in a pretty hamfisted way.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/26 10:18 PM
42

You know, I think this is one of the few cases where I'd say this is kind of objectively crappy on his part. He invited her, chose the restaurant, and then turned her down when she offered to pay. That's a pretty big faux pas.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/26 06:40 PM
30

A man splitting the bill or not being generous is the kiss of death to me. You're certainly allowed to have this boundary. I think this was a particularly egregious offense on his part when he chose the restaurant, invited you, then turned down the offer to pay when you made it. You're not overly attracted to him in the first place. It's totally fair to let this one go. All that said, just beware of how limiting this line in the sand can be depending on the culture around you. I wanted someone w…
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/26 06:27 PM
6

What red flags should you look for? Umm... can you see the color red? Everything about this man is a red flag. He lives with his mother, has a bunch of land he doesn't use to yield money or even seem to know what to do with (which is a huge financial drain in itself), and doesn't even work full time? He's in his thirties. This is 23-year-old behavior. It's been a few months. You're still vetting and it doesn't sound like you're doing it very well based on your attempts to sugarcoat this situatio…
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/26 02:05 PM
3

Yeah, I think same sex friendships are generally appealing because they take less effort. Guys play video games online with people for 20 years and never meet. I think women have really altered their expectations of relationships with men to require they be everything to them. It's unsurprising that that's transferred to women as well, I suppose.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/26 04:29 PM
21

This is called shit testing. You're throwing pointless tests at your boyfriend to gauge his loyalty. But another part of me gets irritated by the fact that the line exists at all, even though realistically I would never wear the kinds of outfits we were talking about anyway. Of course it does. You're trying to pick a fight. I think what bothers me most is not even the clothes themselves, but the idea that there technically is a point where he would expect me to take his opnions into account and …
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/26 01:59 PM
4

Borrow a friend's white dress. Buy yourself a pink dress. Take two photos. Get two moments. Problem solved.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/26 01:44 PM
5

YES! I have some friends I talk to on Discord, but overall my friends are people I met in person through some kind of community. I'm a big proponent of having an online dating presence if single, but I really don't think it works the same with friends. I also think a huge issue for Gen Z is the representation of friends in media. We have this "found family" concept that was never taken so seriously by previous generations as it is for Millennials and Gen Z. The fact is, friends are not family. A…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/26 01:36 PM
12

So you're mad that you have a husband who's a hands-on dad with flexible hours? You want to micromanage his time so you feel like he's being more useful? I don't know if anyone else will tell you this, but this is a you problem. You have a caricature in your mind of a masculine husband and you're mad that he doesn't fit the image, even though you married him knowing his field and industry. What you have is a blessing in so many ways, but you're too stuck on your fanfiction of what the relationsh…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/26 04:35 PM
13

Definitely nothing negative on your part, right?
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/26 04:28 PM
5

The people who tell everyone to avoid dating apps are almost always single and just burned out. Dating has always sucked, though. It's the basis of most sitcoms. Nothing that has ever been said to Gen Z on a dating app wasn't said to Gen X or Millennials in a bar. It's just the virtual component and those who scorn it are going to get tired of being single and give it another go eventually. Avoiding the one place where all the singles are is just a bad approach to dating for anyone who's not the…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/26 03:30 PM
6

Dating apps are still the number one way people meet, regardless of your feelings about them.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/26 11:46 AM
10

The ones telling you never to use dating apps are overwhelmingly single for a reason. Dating apps are the number one way people meet. You just have to use them responsibly. At 23, without being in college or having a large social circle, they're one of your best options. Just be concise in your profile, meet as soon as you feel safe, be honest about what you want, and don't put yourself in situations where you can have sex before you're ready... but really those last two are good bits of advice …
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/26 11:45 AM
2

Honestly, if it's something you really care about, I'd find a way to organically bring it up before meeting, just like anything else. "What's up?" "Just reading the news. Can you believe X did Y?" He'll either respond with a deflection or an actual opinion.
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/26 02:47 AM
2

If they give you the option to write in free form, they give you the option to share your most important values. You might not be able to sort for it, but it should still be one of the main things on there.
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/26 11:33 AM
10

Cultural values are absolutely relevant here. She talks about some trivial things, but wanting someone who will share in her culture and raise her kids in it is a totally reasonable requirement. It should probably be her only one, since it's sp specific, but it's not trivial by any means.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/26 11:30 PM
19

To answer your question, he probably doesn't exist, at least within your reach (based on location and what you can attract). So your choices here would be to hold out for this unicorn of a man and risk remaining single indefinitely or being more open-minded in the dating world. Look, there is no The One. There are no soulmates. Life is not a paranormal romance novel. There are at least a dozen single, eligible men in your city with whom you could have a good relationship and spend a life... but …
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/26 11:28 PM
5

Well, it's worth considering the transition. If you have a bachelor's degree, you could substitute teach (which I'd recommend just to decide if you'd want to teach, regardless) to get into teaching through connections and pursue alternative certification. It's just a more direct path than the medical field. If you want to be a nurse, degree or no degree, you're looking at quite a bit of school. Do you have the option to just pursue school or would you need to work full time or half time? Are you…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/26 05:18 PM
12

No one here cares.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/26 05:10 PM
3

You literally don't know any of that. There are no real statistics on the traditional/liberal breakdown of online dating users. You're saying what you want to be true. There are statistics on how couples meet, with online accounting for more than half. Considering more conservatives are in relationships,* I'd say that pretty much proves they're dating online. https://www.southdenvertherapy.com/blog/how-couples-meet-where-most-couples-find-love-2025#:~:text=According%20to%20recent%20studies%2C%20…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/26 11:29 PM
4

You're 18 and single. You're literally posting in r/teenagers. You've admitted you've never even used a dating app. You have no idea what you're talking about and shouldn't be giving such concrete advice on this without any actual experience. OP also doesn't mention looking for a religious virgin.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/26 10:32 PM
3

This is just so very false. Online dating is the number one way people meet. Plenty of religious and/or conservative (they're not the same) men date online. There are also numerous religious apps. If you've never used a dating app, you're just making things up.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/26 10:15 PM
6

I think the answer is the same. Be clear without being judgemental on your dating profile. "I'm not into politics. I would rather be with someone moderate or apolitical."
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/26 10:13 PM
7

I'm not sure that's true. I know a lot of conservatives who are not especially religious. They might check the box, but they don't practice. I think if OP just clearly states what she wants, she'll be fine, even if that's "I'm not religious, but I am conservative and looking for the same."
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/26 10:11 PM
5

Same. I don't recall having this problem, because I just sorted for conservatives. I don't know what the apps look like now, though.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/26 10:11 PM
9

Your best bet in online dating is to be clear on your profile. I didn't really have trouble finding conservative men, because I live in the South. If I had, I'd have put on my profile: "I'd like to find someone conservative. I work in a liberal field and have some great liberal friends, but I want to share my life with someone who has similar worldviews." Just say it. You don't have to come off as judgemental or rude to be clear.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/26 10:10 PM
2

However, one of my new friends has been telling me that I have no boundaries, I let people walk all over me, and from the moment she met me she thought I'm too smiley and too nice to people even if they are jealous of me. She tells me people think they can push you and you allow them to do so. She herself has very strong boundarie but to me it seems like she has problems with everyone. She has cut off multiple friends, complains about not having friends, is quite negative about people, and, in m…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/26 07:00 PM
4

Yeah, OP describes some personal problems, but we all have those and still manage to meet, marry, and procreate. I'd still call it a red flag.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/26 03:09 PM
5

That's really sad for him and might be why he's emotionally unavailable. Caring for sick family is very draining. I would still let it go, though, because he doesn't seem invested. Honestly, we all have tragedies and disasters and still manage to prioritize relationships and family if it's what we want.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/26 02:31 PM
5

So, I was 27 when I met my husband, who was 30. In the South, that's kind of a yellow flag already. We tend to marry young. My age range was about five years. Men older than that seemed to either want to get married tomorrow or never. When I met men, I would basically just assess why they were single. Sometimes they'd been in the service, others they'd just been working a lot. One guy I talked to (never met) told me he had been engaged and she died. I did go out with a couple of divorcees, which…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/26 11:55 AM
3

😂
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/26 03:18 AM
2

Depending on how things were arranged, I would consider this a yellow flag. Honestly, though, any 36-year-old never married man with no kids is a red flag all on his own, unless he's extremely successful. Even then, you'd better be willing to take a backseat to the career he's been prioritizing.
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/26 08:26 PM
22

He responded that he’s “50/50” and wants to get to know each other better because it feels too fast. Ouch. He's 36. If he's not taking more initiative, it's because he's not interested. It sounds like he wants to be interested, but just isn’t. I think you'd be best served to just leave things to him with the expectation that he's not going to move them forward. Either that or end things amicably while you can. You have common friends and don't want drama. There's nothing wrong with your personal…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/26 07:02 PM
–

DATE. You need to date. Either meet men in person or online, but go out with a few to figure out your likes, dislikes, must-haves, and dealbreakers. You can't order them to your room like a scene from a science fiction movie. You're not going to meet your husband right away, so you might as well get started. https://youtu.be/JJ3-aBdkb4M?si=2E_qJIqHw2BcE5kV
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/26 06:44 PM
–

Well, both are imaginary. People aren't archetypes, but individuals. You'd do best to go out with men who are attracted to you and whom you're attracted and see where it goes. So many factors are going to shallow the pool long before you get to some fictional archetype you've crafted in your mind, which makes this sort of a dangerous line of thinking. When you think of men in terms of "types" or archetypes, you're sort of leaning into this idea that the dating world is your oyster and it's reall…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/26 05:53 PM
3

Move the baby. Don't worry about a monitor. Put a playpen right next to his computer or XBOX. Turn off the monitor and sleep. You say he's a good dad, that he's not malicious, so he's not going to ignore the crying baby thats right next to him. Babies are portable. Once he gets to the point where he actually responds, you can worry about transitioning back to the crib that he's not sleeping in anyway. In the meantime, take him up on the offer and sleep.
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/26 12:49 PM
1

If she's doing everything because she can't trust him, she hasn't said so.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/26 10:21 PM
3

If he tries to push, be direct. "I don't feel comfortable being alone in your apartment together if I'm not ready to get physical." Just don't say that unless prompted.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/26 07:15 PM
1

I'm not OP. You should comment to OP.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/26 06:32 PM
9

You know what you need to do. You've said as much. I'm just going to tell you that I get it. I got married at 19 to an immature boy who turned into a psychopath over the next four years. I was scared for my life and my pets' lives. Leaving was terrifying, not because I worried what he'd do, but because I didn't know what came next. What was I going to do? Be a 23-year-old divorcee, have some massive glow-up and suddenly be worthy of the life I wanted? Yes. That's exactly what I did. It wasn't wo…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/26 03:41 PM
4

Yeah, I have a fan called the "Vornado" and a sound machine. I also have earbuds on standby if necessary. I think OP's biggest battle here is likely going to be the husband trying to wake her up to get her to help. She needs to be clear that she is absolutely unavailable.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/26 02:54 PM
5

Threatening to leave over this is like using dynamite instead of a mouse trap. For starters, not everyone has parents who will let them and their kids stay with them. Even if they do, though, this airs their dirty laundry in a pretty major way without exhausting all options first. OP seems to think this will pass, but if she goes to stay with her parents, it will always be a thing. They will take sides and think less of one parent, maybe even OP. They promised for better or for worse and this is…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/26 02:07 PM
11

I honestly think he’s burnt out from it all too. At the same time, it feels pretty ridiculous that he stays up every single Friday night until 4am to game with his friends. It's great you see that he's burnt out, because I'm sure that's true. He has a new baby and a wife who's really struggling emotionally. End disclaimer. Your husband doesn't get to just leave you to do all of this. He seems to realize that or he wouldn't be paying it lip service by claiming he'll help and falling through. So, …
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/26 01:29 PM
4

This guy's anecdote has nothing to do with you. You don't have to wait until marriage to know if a guy is serious. If you want to wait for marriage, by all means, but don't feel like that's the only way to have sex without being discarded. My own husband waited eight months. We'd said "I love you" and were hypothetically discussing marriage at that time. We got engaged nine months later, married five months after that. It's been nine years next week and we have five kids.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/26 01:04 PM
10

Not if you frame it properly. Don't tell him you feel like he's setting the scene to have sex (he is) and that you're avoiding it (you are). Be more subtle. "I've had a lot of fun getting to know each other at your apartment, but I think it would be easier to get to know each other on actual dates. There's an arts festival downtown. Would you like to go?" You shut it down confidently, with the implication that of course he would understand. Then you change the subject and suggest a fun outing. H…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/26 12:56 PM
8

Stay out of his apartment.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/26 11:43 AM
29

I can tell he’s definitely redpilled, and he’s also expressed his distaste for modern day feminism. Using terms like HVM and etc. That's a red flag, not a green one. We constantly advise women to avoid Red Pill men for good reason. However now after our dates, we usually go back to his apartment after and just sit and talk and sometimes kiss. This is a recipe for disaster. Don't put yourself in situations where you can have sex if you don't want sex. How do I properly vet and should I stand my g…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/26 11:41 AM
1

Then you would have just as little success communicating in this scenario.
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/26 12:56 PM
1

I'm sorry. I missed it. I think in general, it's unlikely for any woman posting on Reddit asking how to get a millionaire to actually marry a millionaire.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/26 06:45 PM
1

But generalities also mean the software engineer is going to have much more competition, much more trouble getting a job. That's becoming more and more of an issue with a lot of white collar jobs. There are so many stories out there of people graduating with six figures student loan debt in a STEM field with no job offers. It's just not the guarantee it used to be.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/26 06:28 PM
1

You're not going to get a better offer than this guy. Not only should you stick around, you should probably stop complaining so much. Save up all that money he gives you, because he's not going to stick around himself for long.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/26 05:55 PM
1

That's not true. A few years into a blue collared trade can yield some pretty great results if a guy is hardworking and charismatic. Trades are absolutely a niche that's hard to fill, far more so than many white collar jobs. It's not easy to get your journeyman. These industries also offer multiple opportunities to make insane money, such as working on location. Women who want to marry a realistically wealthy man would have much better luck in the trades, since a lot of white collar fields are f…
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/26 05:28 PM
10

So, from your post specifically, this seems like a difference in values more than anything. You clearly state that this is not impacting him in any negative way that you have seen. He's not flailing socially, academically, or professionally. He's still a good boyfriend who you enjoy being around and your time together hasn't been impacted. You didn't even realize he was doing these things. When it came up and it became clear you didn't have an accurate picture of how much he used these substance…
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/26 12:28 PM
2

Well, flushing money down the toilet on internet therapy isn't going to fix that.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/26 12:15 PM
10

Her post clearly states it. He's upperclass and she's lower middle class. She says he's incredibly attractive and a lot of women would want him. It's been months after a meh date and she's still thinking about it, but he isn't. This isn't an insult to OP. It's just reality.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/26 12:14 PM
8

Yes. He would spend time with her, have sex with her, but has also essentially told her he's not interested in a relationship. If she were to pursue this with any other expectation, it would really be on her.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/26 12:16 AM
8

I think he's being pretty honest about this. He seems like a nice guy, just not the nice guy for you. There don't have to be any bad guys here, but I wouldn't pursue this.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/26 09:39 PM
15

I don't see any reason to disparage the guy. Not being into OP or wanting a relationship right now, which he seems to be pretty upfront about, is hardly manipulation. OP lives two hours away (there and back) and describes him as being quite the catch. Guys in their twenties play video games and hang out with friends. There's no reason to make him the bad guy for not being into OP. In fact, it seems like he's being both honest and pretty nice about it, considering she's reaching out months after …
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/26 09:08 PM
32

Respectfully, I think he's both out of your league and also not that into you. Add in the fact that he doesn't seem to want a relationship at all right now and you're wasting your time and energy. Don't misunderstand. He'll date you. He'll likely sleep with you. That's all it's going to be, though.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/26 08:52 PM
1

Get a job and find a roommate. I know that seems easier said than done, but when I got divorced at 23, I had no one to take me in either. I found a safe and comfortable apartment, worked two jobs, and made it happen. If you want to leave, get a job. Substitute teaching is a great option, because it's super easy to get into and looks good on a resume. You can work as little or as much as you want. You're going to have to start somewhere, though, even if it's just fast food. I cleaned gym equipmen…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/26 05:42 PM
2

I do think women receive a lot of conflicting advice on this. They're told to give men a chance, but then told not to date multiple men at a time. It can come across as being told to dedicate two or three months to one guy when you're not sure you're feeling it. I can see why that feels like a waste of time if a woman isn't allowed to pursue other men. Personally, I think if women go in open-minded, they know after three dates if they actually want to be with a man. There's no reason to waste mo…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/26 05:09 PM
13

I guess I'm in the minority, because I stopped pursuing other men once I was seeing one in person. I would message a lot of men and slowly dwindle them down to one or two promising guys over the next week. I'd make a date with one and if it didn't go well, I might make a date with the other, but if there was a second date, that was the only person I was seeing. It just didn't seem respectful to date other men while trying to get to know one. Instead of dividing my attention between two or three …
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/26 03:15 PM
24

I want to understand what changed. Here in New Zealand, marriage isn't actually all that common these days. It's quite normal for couples to go their entire lives just as de facto. What changed is that you proved this works just fine. You spent 8 years testing out and refining this model for him as he's watched your entire culture do the same, so he sees no reason to marry. Today I said no to sex. It's the first time I've ever done that. I understand a man has needs. But I didn't want sex, and I…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/26 01:25 PM
3

I understand wanting to try. I just think you're being swindled by this LD program. That money would be better spent on actual marriage counseling if you really think you can save it.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/26 01:00 PM
12

Realistically, where is this going? He already wants out and without the baby, he has nothing keeping him there. I'm so sorry about your miscarriage, but you should consider whether this relationship is even salvagable. Paying hundreds of dollars for one-sided internet counseling is not going to fix anything. This money might be better saved for starting over.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/26 12:18 PM
3

If it's becoming a pattern and he's going for longer stretches, he's already escalated things. If you don't want to do anything overnight, though, maybe try for something that takes consecutive nights. Book your nails on Tuesday, hair on Wednesday, a massage on Thursday. Or sign up for a week-long dessert cooking course on Groupon. Just do your best to not be there. Physically. Not just occupied at home.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 08:12 PM
3

My husband has done something similar, where he'll know I'm upset and just ignore that fact until I pretend it's fine. Its not the most RPW move, but I have successfully waited him out so he sees how it feels. From what I understand, you have means. Would it be possible to just... take a few days away when he does this? Maybe book a spa retreat or a last minute 3 day cooking course? If I knew this was coming, I'd do whatever I could to just not be around for it. Whatever satisfaction he gets wou…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 07:16 PM
4

I think you two need to talk. He needs to consider how long he actually needs to cool off and what the reasons are behind the time beyond that. This is going to require introspection on his part, which is something you can't control. Still, when you talk, encourage him to consider what his motivations really are behind doing this for days, even weeks. Is it about punishing you or feeling like he has control? Is it just avoidance, because he doesn't want to deal with the ultimate Talk? If it's th…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 06:50 PM
12

My gut instinct on RPW advice is, after apologizing, to give him the space and let him come back to you. Pursue your own life, focus on self care and doing things that bring you happiness, act unbothered, and let it play out. This is the answer. Let him have his tantrum. Do your own thing. Watch a show. Try a new hobby or craft. Get your nails done or learn to do them yourself. Let him come to you and then tell him how this makes you feel. When tensions have cooled, make it clear that you unders…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 06:25 PM
11

I agree. I think a lot of women who post about marrying rich really mean upperclass.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 04:50 PM
4

Women or men? Because a wealthy blue collar guy is usually perfectly fine with his status.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 04:27 PM
21

Eh. I agree with OP's sentiment, but not all wealthy men are white collar. Men can make very good money doing blue collar work. This space just has a very stereotypical view of wealth.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 02:54 PM
2

A dream. I wouldn't want this.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 02:48 PM
7

There are very few men who have a moral code where they still support you after a breakup. Good. That's stupid.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/26 12:07 PM
4

We're not a zoo.
/r/RedPillWives23/04/26 06:33 PM
2

I used to read the askamanager blog before she got obnoxiously woke and political. She had some good insight too. I've actually found a lot of her advice useful in personal situations as well.
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/26 04:43 PM
1

I'm sorry. That really sucks.
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/26 04:18 PM
2

I would imagine the older women in the workforce were jealous of your youth and potential. I actually experienced the same when I was finishing grad school to be a librarian while working circulation at a public library. It really bothered my older circ clerk coworkers that I was striving for something more than they had accomplished. That said, I think this is different in a professional sense than a personal one. None of these women had any problem with the men I was dating or any of the thing…
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/26 03:44 PM
1

I have long thought we need a flair for cultural context.
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/26 05:07 PM
5

OP is leaving a lot out. This is her second failed arranged marriage. I don't think you have much in common with her situation.
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/26 05:04 PM
5

This is grounds for divorce... really an annulment since you're barely married. Not only is he not a provider, he's a liar. You lived together for one month out of your 1.5 year union and he's distant, avoidant, and hateful? You used to talk on the phone for nine hours? That was your only connection after a month of marriage? How much time did you spend together in person before marrying if you didn't know he was unemployed and lying about it the entire time? How is this even a marriage? How is …
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/26 12:27 PM
3

💯 This was definitely it. She had a habit of nexting good guys because she always thought she could do better. She had no understanding of her actual appeal in the dating world. I was supposed to be the one who would stay single and cry about it at her wedding, not the other way around. The irony is that she would have been able to get a pretty good guy if she could have gotten over herself.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/26 04:28 PM
3

If every time someone says something you don't like, you call it misogyny and lecture them, you might be part of the problem. Vas is sharing a reality of the dating world. People in their 20s typically prefer someone without a child, not because children aren't a gift, but because raising your own nuclear family has less drama and complications than a blended one. It's also better for everyone involved according to literally every study done on the subject. Feelings don't negate that fact. This …
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/26 12:23 PM
9

I had one "friend" in my twenties who absolutely thought she was hotter and more fun than I was. I realized that was the case when she got super weird after I met my husband and made multiple backhanded remarks about how I was her "last single friend." She got really antagonistic and catty with me. She just never faced the reality that no amount of superhero movie references and low cut tops would make up for the fact that she was a single mom. It made her so mad that I got married first. Things…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/26 07:57 PM
5

Glad to hear lesbians have no issues.
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/26 06:45 PM
24

A lot of this is both an age and a gender thing. Redpill has this whole crab basket allegory, about how women will pull each other down so they can pull themselves up. I won't say thirty-something women are immune, but in your 20s, it's pretty rampant. Twenty-something women are competing for everything from eligible and desirable men to social status to career positions. They see every other woman as an opponent. Obviously this is a generalization, but it is rooted in reality. As you get older,…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/26 05:11 PM
10

It shouldn't. If a man cares this much about virginity, he'll tell you from the start and you can date someone else.
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/26 01:50 PM
17

This is so dependent on circumstances, you won't really get a straight answer. Even if you have the mindset that the man should always pay, which I personally did while dating, you have to consider the details. If you're both in school and he's in a rigorous program, he's probably not going to be flush with cash. Should he still pay? Debatable, but if you answer yes, then you need to make sure you're choosing cheap dates, if not free ones. You should also be doing what you can to return the favo…
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/26 07:56 PM
9

I don't think it's as simple as that. People have different motivations. Is it better for some moronic 23-year-old to turn down great guys because she thinks she deserves a millionaire or for her parents to sit her down and lay out the reality of the dating world and present her with three great men who share her values and culture, ultimately allowing her to make the final choice? Obviously the latter is better. However, if the reverse is true, that the woman wants to meet someone and is giving…
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/26 12:38 PM
4

When you're discussing cultural norms, normal is subjective. It sounds perfectly normal where you're from, so I wouldn't turn down the opportunity to have parents you love and trust help you find someone. This only really seems problematic if the people marrying don't have the final say and/or can't trust their parents to make a good choice.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/26 11:58 AM
7

I think this is pretty accurate. My husband and I met online in 2015, during sort of an unrealized golden age of online dating. Only when we were getting married did we really start to see the shift. That's when the term "Netflix and chill" came about, when Tinder took off. That's also when women starting using the apps more for affirmation and when you saw toxic femininity really get a push from subs like r/femaledatingstrategy. It's no surprise the whole thing turned into what it is today, jus…
/r/RedPillWives15/04/26 01:33 PM
16

I don't think either conclusion that femininity is natural or taught is wholly correct. There are some feminine traits that are natural, such as nurturing our young. I don't like kids. I never have. I have five children, though, and I adore them all. It is totally natural for me to comfort and cuddle my children... but keep anyone else's away from me. I'm also drawn toward more feminine pursuits like, cleaning and organizing, doing crafts and cooking. Are these natural? It would be easy to say n…
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/26 01:07 PM
1

Obviously they're married to women. I don't know what that has to do with anything. The point is that they're already married.
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/26 12:37 PM
2

I don't think you're wrong to focus on career when you're not getting married and having babies any time soon anyway. You can't just hold your life hostage until a hypothetical boy shows up. Do something you enjoy. Make responsible financial choices. When he shows up, you can make those decisions knowing you considered them from the start.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/26 07:30 PM
14

This seems to be a variation on a frequent post we get from Gen Z that goes something like this: "How do I avoid wasting my time? I don't want to go on a hundred dates to meet the right man. I want to meet my husband quickly and start my life." As a Millennial, I won't claim my generation isn't also obsessed with instant gratification. We've just largely found our husbands if we wanted them, so we're not asking this _anymore._ The fact is, there are no assurances in life, not just dating, especi…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/26 03:11 PM
6

So, I low-key hate when people point out the obvious to more established women considering staying home, but you're 21 and may not actually be considering all factors. If you want to have a career, stay home and raise your children for 10-15 years, then go back to said career, you need to keep that in mind when choosing your field and position. Personally, I have a bachelor's in education, a valid teaching license, and a master's in library and information studies. If I needed a career again, I …
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/26 02:59 PM
9

If he were super into you when you were together and made a lot of effort to connect when he could, I'd tell you that you can't have a man with ambition and plenty of free time. If he had a ton of free time and you were worried he wasn't as into you, I'd tell you that things had probably gotten routine and you should do your own thing a little more. What you seem to be saying, though, is that he has no time for you and doesn't seem as invested when he can carve out a few moments. In this case, b…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/26 02:45 AM
3

Well, without ire, I'd say you're not in a place to give relationship advice. OP has to confront her husband. What he's doing is both immoral and illegal. He's violating their friends. There's not a way to have this discussion without telling him he has to stop. As for dating men with porn addiction, I just want you to know that there are men who have independently come to the conclusion that porn is not okay. Bring up the subject organically, without judgement, and he'll tell you how he really …
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/26 10:59 AM
7

Eh. Young men are stupid. He may not have meant anything by it, but you're allowed to be hurt by it regardless. You're also allowed to tell him that it's gross, offensive, and illegal.
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/26 01:35 PM
12

This is 2026, ai technology is new and we are all new to it. Don't need to overreact. Guy created what he was thinking, and honestly we all fantasize about a friend's friend or a colleague. So modern technology justifies sexually violating your neighbors? It's so gross how hard you people are defending this predator. That's what this is. It's sexually predatory behavior. It's one thing to fantasize about your neighbor. It's illegal to make AI porn of him or her. Violating the Take it Down Act ca…
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/26 12:21 PM
4

It's a crime. The details can be murky if it's not distributed and a person is just in possession of it. He technically distributed it to you by sending it, though. I know sending your own nudes as a minor is still considered distribution of child porn, so I would imagine that counts here as well. You could press charges if you wished, but no one's going to be monitoring his computer for it unless he's in trouble for other stuff. I certainly wouldn't find it funny if someone did this to me, beca…
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/26 12:13 PM
11

Yes. Approach all sexual predators with the deepest concern for their feelings. 🙄
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/26 06:24 PM
3

I understand that you're emotional, but you're telling the other commenter that you're not receiving actionable advice. I've given you actionable advice. Remove yourself from his relationship with his ex. That is not the same as telling you to leave. Stop weighing in, giving advice, pushing in one direction or another. If you set boundaries and he doesn't enforce them, remove yourself. For example, he spends Christmas morning with his ex. You make other holiday plans, as opposed to allowing thes…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/26 06:15 PM
6

Ah. I misunderstood your comment and thought it was just finalized. Honestly, this is still a red flag. These people should have this figured out by now, and at the very least be able to remain civil for their child. There isn't really a rule for divorced people dating, but I'd say after two years you shouldn't be feeling so much of this drama. This isn't really on you. You should be open to divorcees, because while I'm sure there's some snark in your comment on it, it's not easy to meet someone…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/26 05:31 PM
10

His divorce was just finalized at Christmas? This is your problem. You willingly dove into a very messy relationship. These people need time to work things out. It's not really surprising that you've assigned yourself the title of Fixer. It's natural that you want these things to be settled so you can pursue your life with this man, but that's not really how this works. Not only is divorce a lot to deal with emotionally, co-parenting is a lot to deal with both emotionally and logistically. Odds …
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/26 04:53 PM
11

AI says there's no mandatory reporting issue under the Take It Down Act, but I'd be real careful about taking legal advice from AI. There are so many other issues here, like the age of the people involved, which could definitely implicate OP, the other stuff he might be looking at, whether or not he's circulating this stuff. There are a lot of ways this could result in charges against OP. She needs to contact a lawyer.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/26 04:06 PM
15

This is pretty vague. Why has this man's status as divorced and co-parenting been Hell for you? It's great that you're trying to show some accountability here, but if this is the issue, there's only so much you can do.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/26 04:02 PM
20

Maybe you should read a little. I have specifically told OP to consult a lawyer to gauge culpability. This comment doesn't even mention the police. As for "people's lives," yeah, that applies to the ones being violated by his gross AI porn. Protecting the feelings of a sexual predator instead of herself and her child should not be OP's priority when she confronts him. Think a little. These are people's lives, not just words on a screen.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/26 02:17 PM
33

What he's doing is illegal. His safety and comfort shouldn't be priority to OP here. Maybe she shouldn't start with an attack, but this is more serious than "convincing" him to stop and fantasize like a normal dude.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/26 01:23 PM
75

Consider your safety net. What are you going to do if you cannot resolve this? What are your career options, potentially people you could stay with while you get on your feet? What school system are you in and would you consider sending your child there? Are you in a school choice state (assuming U.S.)? What does it look like if you leave the marriage? I'm not telling you to pack your bags, just to have a plan so you don't feel forced to stay and work it out if that doesn't seem possible. This i…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/26 01:07 PM
27

Microcheating is a stupid term. We don't have to label everything with a catchy phrase for it to be unacceptable. He's 25 and I'd assume doesn't have brain damage. He knows this is disloyal behavior. There could be a dozen "whys" here, but I'd wager the biggest one is that he's been with the same person his entire adult life. He's curious about what else is out there. What should you do? Let him go find out. If he's doing this now, he's not in a place to propose, marry, and have babies. You're n…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/26 01:37 PM
19

No. Not more likely. 75% - 80% of American men are circumcised. Most function perfectly normally. He's using that as an excuse to cover for the porn addiction.
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/26 06:33 PM
2

This isn't the result of a roll of the dice. It's the result of parenting styles. I have a friend who is exhausted, struggles with depression and anxiety, and just completely overwhelmed with motherhood. Her kids are terrors and she knows it. She's explained many times that she wants her kids to grow up "feral," because they'll have to be adults soon enough. This means she has no set naptimes or meal times. They snack all day, all over her house, sleep when they want, are allowed to draw on the …
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/26 12:33 PM
5

Expecting him emotionally be “like a woman” and lead all emotional type of conversations; or expecting perfection in terms of how he expresses himself/how he talks about his feelings. Having constant (key word here is “constant”) “relationship conversations” where you push him over the relationship issues. This is such A Thing with women. We've gotten to this place where we expect men to be everything to us, from romantic partner to girlfriend to therapist. I blame fiction to a small extent, but…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/26 01:34 PM
79

However.. lasting 30 minutes on a blowjob is likely due to psychological / sensitivity issues. In a young, healthy male, it's likely due to porn addiction.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/26 01:30 PM
1

I was divorced from my first kiss at 23. I had a lot of first dates, a handful of second dates, and a few third dates before I met my husband. None of them ever got physical. My husband was my second kiss.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/26 06:47 PM
5

Maybe he is, but it's irrelevant. Block him and find someone you don't have a messy history with.
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/26 05:10 PM
6

If you put on a dating app that you're dating to find a serious relationship, you're going to weed out a lot of men who just want to get laid. If you go on dates with the others and don't have sex with them, that will weed out the rest. That said, a man who doesn't clearly state that he's looking for an LTR, isn't necessarily just looking for hookups. He could have any reason for not clarifying, from being open to casual dating as well or just fearing coming on too strongly. The point of online …
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/26 05:09 PM
13

Choose better men. Seriously, this sounds like it's at least halfway a vetting issue. You dated this guy a couple of weeks after ending a longterm relationship. Of course you had your guard up. Then you had an on again/off again FWB relationship that seems pretty undefined. That's not the guy you make yourself vulnerable with and it was unfair of him to act like that was the problem. It doesn't sound like he was looking for a ring either. You could certainly benefit from some self reflection, de…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/26 04:37 PM
2

You're just using a bunch of SAT words to justify irresponsible spending. That has nothing to do with femininity, but immaturity and wastefulness. You're misuing the word "investing." You aren't "investing in" yourself. You're squandering money on a depreciating asset. Women are absolutely capable of saving, actual investing, and preparing for the future. The ones who do will be looked at by financially stable men as a greater asset. Around me, I feel like I’m the only one who thinks this way. T…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/26 10:34 AM
15

Are these the only two men on earth? Guy 1 seems like a good match. Guy 2 seems perfectly nice and like he deserves someone who talks about him the way you talk about Guy 1. That's true regardless of what happens with Guy 1. No one wants to be the silver medal.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/26 10:10 PM
10

No he's not. He's 35 and dating a 22-year-old who's not that into him.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/26 10:07 PM
11

OP doesn't seem to have any vetting skills. She assumes youth means immaturity and age means security, but she's not ending up with this guy. He's sure not paying for her college. She's a phase he's going through and he knows it.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/26 10:05 PM
17

So he's newly divorced because his ex wanted to take the next step and start a family and is dating women in their early 20s immediately after? That's a red flag, not a green one.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/26 09:39 PM
11

Why is this man dating someone so much younger, particularly one who doesn't seem especially ready to settle down? It's super sus that he's leading with financial offers and that that's what you're noting as having value. This relationship seems transactional rather than being potentially longterm. You're discussing extremes here: grown men who date much younger women who are in an entirely different stage of life and fedora wearing douchebags with Peter Pan syndrome. If you're looking for somet…
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/26 08:21 PM
5

I think "I would like to be engaged before our trip and married by 30" is reasonable, personally. Don't make it an ultimatum, but decide what you'll do if he agrees and it doesn't happen.
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/26 09:50 PM
5

"I'm ready to look at rings" is a far cry from a proposal. So, even if you want to be that direct, it still leaves the ball in his court. It just tells him where you are with things. It kind of sounds like that was your arrangement anyway, for you to let him know.
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/26 08:26 PM
24

Now he’s coming back from his business trip in two days and there is a jeweler I found and I want to ask him if we can go pick out a ring in the next month. we also have plans to go on a international vacation in August but honestly, I don’t want to wait that long. I’m nervous if we wait any longer that he might leave me. you just never know. I don't think you're wrong in wanting to be direct, but I do think your reasoning is misguided. You should want to marry him because you want to marry him,…
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/26 06:02 PM
5

One great female influencer is Mrs. Midwest, at least her older stuff. A lot of her newer stuff seems more... standard influencer fair. Isabel Brown and Brett Cooper are really great, but Brown gets pretty political from a conservative and religious bent, while Cooper talks very bare bones about how women can get what they want from a traditional perspective. None of these are specifically RPW aligned, but I tend to think that's where the best information originates. People who just speak and th…
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/26 05:48 PM
8

I think his death 9 years later made a big difference on the retrospective, but apparently they were still close friends even after the divorce. Being married to a good friend would have probably been better, especially just for a few years.
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/26 07:25 PM
12

My grandmother divorced my grandfather for pretty legitimate reasons. He had undiagnosed PTSD from the war and had trouble keeping a job because of his anger issues. He was a good friend to her and a good dad, but he was always gone with his army buddies and she felt like she was alone anyway. She's told me a dozen times that she'd have stayed if she could do it again. She said it was just so lonely and she felt it really messed my mom up. She always talks about how she traded one set of problem…
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/26 03:41 PM
32

Coming from divorced parents and divorced grandparents, something no one really explained to me is that marriage has natural downturns. There are going to be tough times, when you don't necessarily even like your husband. You'll have fights that would garner a "just leave him, Queen" thread from Reddit. You'll wonder if you're compatible some days. You'll dream of the path not taken at times. It's all normal. You stay together and you work on it, because it matters. You made a commitment, your c…
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/26 01:12 PM
8

I have a friend I met when she worked at a gym where I had worked and still frequented. She told me about a big fight she had with her husband when they were just living together. He was and is an extremely jealous person. She was at work during a big event and had to go out on the grounds with another supervisor. Her husband had come by and was told "She ran off with X," by a coworker and mutual friend who was annoyed they'd left. Her husband was furious and it caused a huge fight, even though …
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/26 07:19 PM
7

I don't air my dirty laundry in public. I don't know if it's the right choice or not, but I have no desire to have my frustrations belittled because everyone adores my husband or have people turn against him when things improve. We had a tough time for a couple of years. Part of me wanted to call his aunt and ask for advice, because his uncle is like a version of him on steroids. I just wanted to ask how she manages being married to a stubborn cowboy. In the end, though, I decided that I'd rathe…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/26 03:49 PM
1

Well, in the comments she doesn't concede that she has a kink, so I don't think the route you outline is likely right now. It's much more likely she'll end up in a dangerous situation if she wants this dynamic to be truly organic. My advice is that she's too immature to be in a serious relationship right now and needs to gain some more life experience before engaging in one. Casually dating (without getting physical) and making friends in her age group would be her best move right now.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/26 01:38 PM
3

No, I never intended to disagree. My comment about the circles not touching was more about THIS circle not touching the others.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/26 12:57 PM
4

No. Her post says that's her prominent vetting factor and reality says those men are most prominent within that sphere. You can want all day long. That doesn't change what's actually out there. I'm saying that the extreme she describes is less likely to have the more important characteristics you describe. I think she's being naive and it's risky.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/26 12:46 PM
3

Respectful is great. Having a good moral character and common values is great. Wanting the same life is great. Each requirement wittles down the options slightly more, though. That is especially true when the apparent most important one is to care for her like a child and make all the decisions. There might be some good overlap in the other circles, but not that one, not to the extreme OP describes.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/26 12:35 PM
6

This Venn Diagram is also several circles that barely touch.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/26 02:52 PM
58

I don't think it sounds extreme so much as idealized and even fetishized. It's not that what you describe is inherently bad, but that you seem to be struggling with the idea of taking care of yourself, of being an adult on your own. This dream seems to be a coping mechanism for many young women today. The fact is, until that guy shows up... you know, the one who wants to care for a woman as if she's his child... you are on your own. You are living your life. You have to work, support yourself, f…
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/26 02:50 PM
2

You need to grow up and accept reality. Yes, y-o-u is how you spell that word.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/26 02:43 PM
7

... or just don't have sex with this guy ever again.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/26 10:31 PM
3

How do you tell he's watching porn? He treats you like garbage in bed. This is all so gross and disrespectful. He doesn't just watch porn. He watches a lot of really gross porn. You're still vetting. Find someone who isn't struggling with an obvious porn addiction and sexual dysfunction.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/26 10:28 PM
5

You're not running out of time. Stop listening to angry dudes. Normal men, even normal conservative men, don't think this way.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/26 12:45 PM
5

This isn't terrible advice, because at the very least, OP will be doing things she enjoys. It's worth mentioning that it's not a guarantee, though. I did all these things in my twenties and still had to date online. It's still the most common way people meet. OP is probably going to have to make an effort, either in person or online.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/26 01:23 PM
4

I thought the same. Getting involved ina religious or political group could bring OP in contact with a lot of men who want relationships. That doesn't necessarily mean young marriage, but it could mean dating as opposed to hooking up.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/26 01:15 PM
10

I'm sorry you're here. You can always reassess later in life if you feel differently about the marriage or your options. For now, I think this is your best one.
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/26 05:27 PM
2

This is a semantic argument, not actionable advice.
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/26 04:56 PM
35

I'm going to answer this as if divorce is not an option, because you state that you believe marriage is for life. Also, as a mother of five, I know that divorce isn't usually a realistic or practical option with a lot of kids, unless someone is in danger. My husband has not been emotionally unavailable for the entirety of our marriage. That said, he did have a couple of years where he was just deeply unhappy in his career and that bled into our marriage in a big way. He rightfully hated his job,…
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/26 04:50 PM
10

Crazy they allowed you to get on testosterone at 15 but men wanting it for muscle gains struggle to get even TRT. Also... sue your abusers, OP. If you're in the U.S., you've surely seen some of these cases. We're going to see a lot of this in the next 10 years. There's no reason to wait. Call a malpractice lawyer. Get your records. Start the process of making these people pay for mutilating your healthy body for political posturing.
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/26 10:53 PM
–

He would never ever say to me that he thinks another woman is hot, he only did today because I found it and was asking him about it. Don't ask. He's looking at a washed up 40-year-old actress who was hot 20 years ago. He's not looking at porn and these women don't even really exist anymore, since they're much older now. He is allowed his private thoughts and fantasies, just as you are. You say you don't want to be told you're overreacting and defend the concern by saying he agrees that it's prob…
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/26 10:49 PM
14

This guy is negging you, for one. He's trying to make you desire to prove yourself to him and he's not very subtle at it. Generally speaking, this is a matter of taste. Some men love a high-maintenace woman who gets her nails done every 10 days, pays for expensive haircuts and designer clothes, wears a full face every day. Others want a more natural look, maybe some light concealer and eye makeup. My husband has a ton of friends who married the high-maintenance type, because that's the kind of w…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/26 11:09 PM
–

Don't sign on for a lifetime just because the first six months were good.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/26 10:56 PM
1

"Low paying" is also pretty subjective. What a lot of women would refer to as low paying is just average.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/26 10:56 PM
1

This is based on statistics. Your "thoughts" on the subject don't change facts.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/26 10:55 PM
1

🤣🤣🤣 Sure. It's social skills that are the problem, not supply and demand.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/26 10:54 PM
2

🤣🤣🤣 It's literally statistics, but hold out for your millionaire. I hope you like cats.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/26 10:53 PM
2

Then you were wrong.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/26 10:52 PM
3

I think these are extremely rational and valid fears. There are no signs. It hasn't worked out because it doesn't make sense for either of you. The best you can realistically hope for is a "what might have been" weekend.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/26 03:03 AM
7

But then a pit forms in my stomach forms when he drops love bombs mentioning things about how gorgeous our kids would be, to wait to reconnect with him before I have kids etc. It makes me think he plays mind games on women to get them excited about him before he finds someone else to play with. This is love bombing. Regardless of the motivations, it's not good for you. Best case scenario: he genuinely gets so excited about you that he means these things and you hope you live up to those expectat…
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/26 02:44 AM
31

I think the real question should be whether or not you should go. My expectations of what will come of seeing him are uncertain. You don't even know the goal here, his or yours. Are you planning to sleep with him? Because he's absolutely expecting it. If not, are you okay with this being a one-time thing for a romantic weekend or will you feel used? If you're okay with it, then what? Do you keep in touch? Do you hope to have a real relationship one day? I wouldn't suggest going in the first plac…
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/26 01:54 AM
9

No, they're not. They might be higher, but the above statistics still apply.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/26 12:09 AM
10

Edit: now that I’ve read the comments, seems like I’m not the only one that made this observation, so I rest my case. But I’ll leave the comment here anyway. Yeah, my post was just intended as a reality check for all the women wanting current millionaires. Still, even meeting someone who has the potential to become a millionaire is statistically rare.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/26 12:08 AM
16

Yeah, the women who want a millionaire don't consider the missed anniversaries, family vacations, and ballet recitals. Personally, I asked my husband to leave oil. My dad worked all the time as a lineman. My brother literally spent years living in a different state from his family working in oil. Since they were both terrible with money, they didn't even have a lot to show for it. I would genuinely prefer my husband put in the years and work to build something that is essentially 8-5, but pays w…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 09:48 PM
23

Throughout all this, he's doing nothing for me, not even simple compliments. In fact, I'm starting to feel debased by all this and it's as if he's with me for physical and financial convenience. Do you think I made a mistake in helping him in every way? I thought couples were supposed to help each other, but at this point I think I've done it all wrong. I don't know how he feels, but if this is the way he behaves when life gets tough when he's young and single, are you ready for a hard year when…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 09:36 PM
26

I don't think the women who come here asking how to land a millionaire realize how obvious it is that they're in it for money.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 09:32 PM
29

You are not the only one who feels this way. The EC's get pretty frustrated with the sugar baby mindset of a lot of new posters. Mods don't remove the content, because there can be overlap, so it's not totally irrelevant. It is particularly frustrating when it's implied that to be a "high value male," someone has to make six figures. Even that is rare, especially if you're talking about men in their 20s.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 08:21 PM
9

In the US it really depends on the region. Having $1m in the Bay Area is not a lot of money. Many, many men for this criteria of $1m NW late in their 20s or early 30s. I realize this is not the norm. That doesn't really change the stats, though. But, most millionaires are formed after marriage. So the focus often is not how to marry a millionaire, the focus is would / should be on how to find someone with the right earning potential. I agree. This often happen by region (eg NY, Bay Area), univer…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 07:29 PM
22

... or you make sure they know the score in some Anna Nicole scheme. 🤣
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 06:29 PM
15

Eh. Still pretty hard, considering the odds of achieving that level of success. Good advice for marrying a successful man, though.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 06:28 PM
69

Yes, definitely. They're also usually men with a bright future and attributes that point to success, not ones who are already wildly successful. That's why so many of said millionaires are still on their first marriage. She stuck by him when he was eating Ramen in a dirty dorm room. She greeted him sweetly after he worked 90 hours in a week.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 06:27 PM
10

A lot of this country is a lot more affordable than we talk about online. Sometime it's because it negates the point that the economy is bad or X politician is screwing us over. Others, it's a blindspot from people living in HCOL areas. I live in the South, in one of the cheapest states, though. When you can buy a house for $200k, $85k is damn good money in your 20s or even 30s.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 05:53 PM
20

Yeah, your first paragraph is basically just dating app stats. If a woman doesn't care about anything else, her chances here are slightly more than zero. If she cares about chemistry, religious values, political stance, desire for family, hobbies, or literally anything that relates to compatibility, she'd better be really fond of her cat.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 05:48 PM
43

This is amazing. Millenials demanded men 6' or taller, not realizing that that's 14% of all men. Demanding a millionaire is far more ridiculous. I put in my requirements at 24. I would have died alone. 🤣🤣🤣
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 05:15 PM
0

Okay. So you just took a detour to suggest cops as a dating option and then badmouth cops.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 04:53 PM
9

Often these women will have either a quiet sort of confidence that draws people in and makes them feel safe or she will have a vibrancy to her that comes from living a passionate life. This is in addition to all the warm, nurturing qualities we often talk about. This is quite the specific profile. Plenty of college educated women are brash, overly confident to the point of arrogance, and frankly, not that smart. Men don't date women with degrees because they're all so poised. They date women wit…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 02:18 PM
-3

You brought them up.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 02:16 PM
23

You say "wealthy" men, but talk about educated men. You also mention staying home like it's only possible for the wealthy and that's false. You're not wrong about your premise. People marry within their class, tax bracket, educational level, maybe one up or one down. People say men don't care about a woman's career, because they often don't. That doesn't mean they don't care about being from a similar background. Still, a cute woman without a degree can marry a wealthy plumber/mechanic/lineman. …
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 02:14 PM
3

I'm sure they're true for parts of the country. I'm just always quick to clarify, because it seems like we really push this idea that a man has to make six figures, when it's pretty rare. If a man in Alabama is pulling in $75k, he's a catch.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/26 10:32 PM
4

16% of male workers in the U.S. make over six figures. Most are over 35. These numbers are over inflated in most of the country.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/26 06:00 PM
8

They might feel like they have that choice, but in reality, plenty of people live nice lives on modest incomes. The economy has been worse. No one ever thinks they're in a good economy while they're in it. There's no reason either partner has to be "very wealthy."
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/26 02:01 PM
–

I think these are very narrow options. I lived on my own for years before I met my husband. I got a bachelor's degree and a master's in that time, had a fulfilling career, and worked toward Public Service Loan Forgiveness, which is available to every single person in the U.S. I left my career to stay home with my kids and already have an in to teach at their school when they're all old enough. If something happened, I'd have a teaching job in a month. It's not either/or and everything in life in…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/26 01:52 PM
2

You're clarifying that because you know it isn't the norm.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/26 02:05 PM
1

At 17, it's unrealistic for the majority of people to date with the intent to marry. Yes, some people marry as teens, but it's ill-advised in most cases and usually only occurs in very religious circles. Young marriage of a reasonable age is still several years off considering OP would still be in high school. She can still gain a lot from dating casually, without getting physical, until she's old enough for this to be a realistic requirement.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/26 12:31 AM
6

Dating and talking to the opposite sex does not come naturally to most people. After getting married to my first boyfriend as a teen, I found myself divorced at 23 with zero experience with men. It was pretty daunting to suddenly go from awkwardly flirting with other teenagers to dating grown adult men. The first date I went on after my divorce, I almost had a literal panic attack. So, yes, it's worth it to date, just to get better at talking to the opposite sex, learning to hear what they mean …
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/26 03:02 PM
31

I think the answer is across the board. If you're talking about youth and attraction, a 23-year-old with prematurely grey hair is at a greater disadvantage than a 29-year-old without it. A fat 22-year-old is probably at a greater disadvantage than a fit 27-year-old. It really depends on how you utilize the resources at your disposal. I would say just sexual attraction probably peaks by 30 for most women. Personally, I'd say my peak was about 25-27. I met my husband at 27 and married at 29. His c…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/26 07:27 PM
9

Ah. Well, we get a lot of posts from Gen Z with a heavy sugar baby theme, often just straight gold digging. You might get better advice if you edit your post to include some of these details. As for trends, you did reference the trad movement, so it came across as TikTok inspired. Based on this, I'm not really sure if you're asking for advice. If so, I would just suggest being really clear about what you're looking for in a relationship from the start, avoiding terms like "trad" or "egalitarian,…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/26 06:08 PM
5

I don't think you're alone in your exhaustion, but I'd caution you to avoid trendy movements. You don't have to identify as "trad" to be with a man who will let you work less or be a stay-at-home mom. You're also not a child, though. He'll expect to be taken care of, as well, so make sure you're finding out ways you can do that for him. It's all about give and take. Are you still in the U.S.? If so, Gen Z is having quite the traditional and conservative uprising. You just have to put yourself in…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/26 04:37 PM
12

I don't really think this is an either/or situation. Few people want someone who makes them feel unneeded. Few people want to be romantic caretakers. I also think you're romanticizing the motivation behind the latter. Some men might want stay-at-home wives so they feel needed, but others want one so they feel cared for by someone who can Do All the Things while they work. Still, others want control. They want to know she can't leave, that he's the sole provider of resources. Egalitarian is one o…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/26 04:16 PM
23

He has always wanted a very traditional marriage where his only obligation is to work and I take care of everything else. Well, I'm not really sure why someone would agree to this, but to each their own. It is the agreement you made, though, so if you want to change the dynamic, you're going to have to sit down and talk about it. Tell him why you need things to change (homeschool and health issues) and how all of you will benefit (you not feeling so burnt out and the house running more smoothly)…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/26 03:03 PM
8

Well, then. You don't respect him because he's not respectable. Don't waste more years on this guy.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/26 02:06 PM
18

So, you don't believe in disrespect, but you regularly ignore him for your phone, snap at him, and harass him about his career? You don't seem to respect him at all. I'm not even criticizing the feeling (maybe the behavior). I call my husband a robot on a regular basis, but the reality is that I could not take a sensitive man seriously. You two just don't seem right for each other. You want someone more masculine, more ambitious, and potentially more Muslim. At 27, I'd cut my losses instead of w…
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/26 01:21 PM
–

Well, just to note, this is not a sub of conservative women. Several regulars would consider themselves liberal. That said, many of the values expressed here align with conservative views, so I don't think you'll get a lot of hate for sharing yours. If you want to find like minds, you're in luck. Gen Z has had quite the conservative uprising. I would suggest checking out Brett Cooper and Isabel Brown, both young conservative influencers. Erika Kirk and just TPUSA in general are both worth a look…
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/26 01:29 AM
2

It sounds like you've been talking and he doesn't want to change. If you wouldn't marry him as he is now, knowing he'll never change, you shouldn't marry him. You're literally in a sub where a primary rule is that "leave him" can't be the first bit of advice. If people are still telling you to leave, there's a reason.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 11:12 PM
1

Yeah, I don't have a wide basis, but I feel like my husband's penis is super normal sized and I have zero complaints.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 06:30 PM
2

You're statistically wrong. Turn off the porn.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 06:11 PM
1

The female vagina stretches to 4.7 inches when aroused. If you're bigger than that, you're probably fine. The average penis size is 5.5 inches. You got your answer. You're just arguing with all of us now.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 06:11 PM
3

You're asking women how to gain your confidence back in regards to penis size? Ask men.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 05:15 PM
4

This is already a bad situation.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 05:14 PM
9

Well, I don't think it's necessary to word it in a way that puts him in a negative light without more information, but a couple can certainly be a poor sexual match. I think you need to consider his values outside of sex. How does he feel about cheating, marriage, loyalty overall? Even a highly sexual person can contain that side of themselves to adhere to their own values. I have a high sex drive and still went six years between my first partner and my husband. If you feel like your libido is m…
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 05:10 PM
5

I'm not criticizing. It seems you have experience with the ups and downs of this personality trait. I don't have much actionable advice as to how to treat him, except to say that it's unfair to expect him to take on traits that directly conflict this one. I see that a lot with women in this situation. He's probably never going to be the cool head in the crisis or the one to make the tough decisions. You may just have to accept that that is your reality in exchange for someone who's more emotiona…
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 05:07 PM
4

What answers did you get the last time you asked this? Why are you asking again?
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 01:56 PM
6

She's been here before. She got advice last time and ignored it. She just wants different answers now.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 01:55 PM
4

Was he not always like this? If anything, my husband has the opposite problem, but I have a stepbrother who's like this. My SIL knew going in, though, and they are just a very emotional couple.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 01:53 PM
18

Yes, I know the easy answer would be to get a better paying job, and I am very much working on that. I asked if we could pay our trip costs separately so I could put mine on my own credit card and pay it off over time. He offered to cover my expenses if I paid him the amount I thought I would spend. I appreciate the offer, but I’m honestly nervous it’ll become another thing that gets held over my head later, especially if I spend more than expected. I think the easy answer would be to get a bett…
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/26 02:17 AM
18

I just had baby number five under five seven weeks ago. My focus is more on the home at the moment, because if I let that go, it's a lot harder to catch it up to a point I can maintain. I work hard to keep the kids' laundry folded, keep everything picked up, the sink empty, the counters cleaned, the house swept, vacuumed and smelling good. I do the grocery shopping and try to have a dinner plan in the works before my husband gets home. I pick up the house every night before I go to bed so it doe…
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/26 09:17 PM
17

I've kind of always had a "red pill marriage," in the sense that it's pretty traditional. He works. I stay home with our five kids. I've been married for nine years and I'd say one of the biggest takeaways for me is that marriages have ups and downs. We never talk about the downs, as a society, at least as a normal ebb and flow. If things are tough, it's always "You deserve better Queen!" People go through hard times, though, even when married. Maybe she gains weight after kids and isn't interes…
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/26 05:32 PM
4

Not to go waaay off topic, but I wish there was more discussion about hormones & women's sexuality. There are semi-regular posts in the pcos sub by women who've experienced major changes in sexual preference. I'm starting to see it more as part of the discussion around birth control. Maybe we'll gradually start to include other issues as well. I want to try being in a male led relationship, if it doesn't work out at least I gave it a shot and saw if it was for me. I think you'll find some good a…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/26 10:28 PM
4

Oh, I totally agree and get that as much as I can from the perspective of a straight woman who has worked in a very liberal field. I know more than one person who has recently claimed to be bi, but has not pursued a relationship anywhere but online, which I suspect is the result of wanting to be on the other side of the victimization discussion. If she's a straight white woman, she's the problem. I'm not saying someone has to have a sexual relationship with one sex to be attracted to them, but t…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/26 08:15 PM
5

Good question. I just assumed, based on her line of questioning, that she wanted this, but it does seem to be a 180.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/26 05:55 PM
8

In addition to the Wiki, I'd recommend you pay attention to flared advice. Endorsed Contributors and Mods are going to give the advice that most aligns with the original concept of RPW. Newbies like to push movements like sugar babies/gold digging or get overly religious. They like to co-op terms like "high value man" and put their own spin on them. You can certainly take whatever advice you wish, but if you want to know the actual theory behind RPW, you'll get the best information from establis…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/26 04:49 PM
13

Early on, I'd just talk about your dating past and be honest that you're hesitant to share, because you only want monogamy. This will weed out anyone who has a problem with it. If you're dating traditional men, that might be a higher number than you'd like, but best to get it out of the way. Apologize. Tell him he was right and that you wish you'd handled it better. He might not be interested, but it will at least end your own curiosity and close that door. Different men have different tastes. I…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/26 03:27 PM
4

Eh. That's the kind of research men's rights activists skew to support their arguments. One very important key element would be missing for you, specifically, which is faith. I'll copy and paste what Google has summarized but the biggest takeaway is that these people are usually religious. That could mean any number of reasons for the marriage lasting, from a stronger commitment to the relationship, a lack of emphasis on sex, or just pressure to make it work. It does not mean those people are ha…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/26 10:37 PM
4

I just feel like I would get very attached if I did, and may stay longer than I would have if he treated me wrong. Why does that change with marriage? Marriages end all the time. If you don't have a moral or undeniably practical reason, like living in a country with honor killings or something, I just don't think this offers the protection you assume it does. A lot of people who wait find out there are sexual issues that lead to divorce.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/26 10:28 PM
7

Why do you want to wait? Could the same goals be accomplished by holding out for awhile? My husband and I waited until eight months. It after we said "I love you" and around the time we started talking about marriage hypotheticals.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/26 09:32 PM
7

I think you're overthinking this. Plenty of men would prefer someone cute, because they see that as a more longterm kind of attraction, while hot is more fleeting. Not everyone has the same definition.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/26 09:22 PM
15

If he's religious enough to wait until marriage, he'll want a religious woman.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/26 08:54 PM
11

Even in highly religious situations, it's common for couples to have issues directly stemming from the decision to wait until marriage. It's just considered part of the deal when you're following your faith. It's not that compatibility isn't an issue for these people, just that it isn't considered as big of a deal as it is for non-religious.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/26 08:54 PM
11

You know, there's an episode of The New Girl where the guy has a micropenis and tells women early on so they can't break up with him without feeling bad. OP says it was an organic conversation and she was okay with it, but I also wonder if he's not using it as a manipulation tactic.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/26 07:08 PM
13

You're not the Savior of Broken Dicks. If you don't want to pursue the relationship, don't.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/26 07:04 PM
1

You suggested he apply in the first place, though. Some of your unhappiness is on you. Regardless, you're 28 and seem miserable. Go home.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/26 05:42 PM
4

I'd ask why he lied. I would want to know his reasoning, at the very least.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/26 05:39 PM
2

Oh, I'm not saying that it's not a red flag or couldn't mean he lies about other things. Just that if it was the only one, it might be worth a second date since OP sees to like him otherwise. I don't think this man is otherwise all green flags, though. I think he's hiding a porn addiction. So you're probably right about this specific guy. I just meant generally.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/26 05:38 PM
9

Yeah, I get why a woman wants someone taller than herself, but at 5'3", the entire cast of The Big Bang Theory is taller than OP. Height requirements should be pretty open.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/26 05:35 PM
15

I think you're focusing on height when you should be focusing on him talking about his penis on the first date. Yeah, it's kind of concerning that he lied about height, but you've sort of proven why. At 5'3", you're more concerned about this than sexual dysfunction. That doesn't excuse lying, but I think it explains where he was coming from, so I might overlook the lie, myself. I don't know. Lying before you even meet is a bad sign, but you seem excited about him otherwise, so I don't want to sh…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/26 05:33 PM
5

Eh. I don't disagree that this is a red flag, but most men just lie about height because they think women will be more likely to consider them. It's not necessarily a sign he's lying about anything else. Personally, I'd be more worried about his penis not working than whether or not he can get things off high shelves for me.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/26 04:02 PM
6

If a man calls himself "Red Pill," then yes, he probably thinks this way. That's why we advise women not to date these men. For what it's worth, my husband is very traditional. I've had five babies in five years and he has said not one negative thing about my body. Ever.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/26 03:57 PM
15

Does it matter? They're both compliments. Plenty of guys prefer hot to cute, while plenty others prefer cute to hot. It's rarely a dealbreaker.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/26 03:16 PM
21

I know this sounds shallow, but I think the main thing for me is his looks, like his height was a disappointment being totally honest. He also wasn’t very handsome but did have masculine features. I suppose it’s a small nag holding me back. 14% of American men are 6' tall. That doesn't account for any other factors, including age, career, relationship status, etc. To put it bluntly, at 5'3", this is a stupid and unreasonable requirement. What's not stupid or unreasonable is to expect honesty. My…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/26 02:04 PM
1

"ignorant ig·no·rant adjective lacking knowledge or awareness in general" If you don't have kids, you are, by definition, ignorant on this issue. Also, you used the hypothetical "if you have kids" to someone with the username "wife_and_mama," so that's a different kind of ignorance.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/26 06:11 PM
1

I have five kids under five. Any more ignorant commentary for me? You do not set the gold standard for other people's relationships. If you want to be a workhorse for a lazy man, go for it.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/26 03:45 PM
2

She also could have just not suggested he move to Texas.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/26 02:33 PM
9

Everyone sucks here. 28 and 25 are almost the same. If you're that sure you'd leave, leave.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/26 02:32 PM
1

Literally all of this is person dependent. If my husband refused to help with chores because I'm "not working," we'd have serious problems. None of this advice is going to be useful because you don't have the woman lined up. If you want to improve yourself, I'd suggest finding some good male role model influencer types (Nick Freitas is a favorite) and watching them. Don't ask women how to be a man women want. Women are absolute garbage at telling you what they want.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/26 02:23 PM
3

My question is: should I keep pursuing this staying “wife material” and seeing if he naturally becomes open to a committed relationship given that he has zero relationship experience? I really do not want to pressure the what are we thing. He doesn't really want a relationship. You're wasting your time trying to play the cool girl. So Idk, maybe he'll trip stumble and fall into a LTR with me. At this point we are having such a good time together I see kind of pointless that we even had the what …
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/26 02:23 PM
14

Never date any man who says he's "Red Pill." This is advised over and over again.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/26 12:13 PM
1

I think you have a lot of reasons not to pursue this, honestly.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/26 03:20 PM
2

She would have avoided BV if she didn’t have sex that’s just a fact. Well, probably, but that doesn't have much to do with commitment or how long they were together. I think we don’t disagree on the issues just with the root cause which is fair. Yeah, I think if she'd played things differently, early sex wouldn't necessarily be the kiss of death. It always will be if this is her follow-up, though.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/26 10:53 PM
5

I don't disagree that she had sex with him soon, but he seemed pretty invested before the behavior that followed. I don't think her sexual timeline is really the issue here. At least not from his perspective, I don't think it's why he won't commit. She might be able to control her emotional response if she hadn't had sex so early, though, so that is certainly an issue.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/26 10:25 PM
6

I'm glad this worked out for you, but I think this is a pretty fantastical example. I, too, held out for sex, so I don't necessarily think it's bad advice, but there's no guarantee it'll keep a man around, especially if you have the deck stacked against you from the start. OP doesn't seem like she can handle early sex, but I think there are a lot more problems here than just her sex timeline.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/26 10:16 PM
11

But it's not, "if he knows." It's "if the relationship is to that point" and "if I've earned this behavior" and you're very much not there. It's not even about his circumstances. It's about asking for husband behavior from a brand new boyfriend.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/26 08:03 PM
15

The comments are going to tell you that you slept with him too fast. I don't honestly know if that was the issue. Plenty of women here will tell you they've done the same with their now-husbands. The problem is that you assumed sleeping with him meant far more of a commitment than it did and my stars have you let that be known. But I feel like I’m working overtime when I’m the only one making plans. You likely feel like you're working over time, because he's pulling back. Quite frankly, I would …
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/26 07:33 PM
20

Anyways, friction came when I got BV after spending a weekend with him. I was in so much pain that I could barely walk. I had to missed my hobbies and events that I had already planned out in my personal life. So- my regulators were gone. I’m a very social person, I need them. I told him my situation and I’m in so much pain and that I really wanted him by my side. I know he is busy with work, but he text me that he’ll take care of me but also can’t be with me 100% of the time. Bro- I don’t need …
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/26 06:51 PM
3

I think the commenter that says he's a man, not a project is correct. If you wouldn't marry him as he is now, you're wasting time. Even if you would, though, unless there's a concrete end to the distance, you're still wasting time. It sounds like you're both young, though, and with these hurdles, the relationship might just run its course anyway and that's okay.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/26 10:28 PM
5

Treat him as a friend of a friend, cordially but not overly warmly. Don't seek him out, but be polite. Return the gift. Giving it to him might make you feel good, but it's likely to make him uncomfortable.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/26 09:36 PM
6

Read Marry Him: the Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough, by Lori Gottlieb. The title is pretty misleading, but it's a great example of what people really mean by settling. Most women don't "settle." They get over themselves. Women are terrible about dating in a pool that does not exist. They're solid 7s on a good day, but demand a man who's 6' tall, full head of hair, and makes six figures. A quick Google search will tell you that 14% of American men (with zero accounting for age, marital stat…
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/26 09:14 PM
3

Honestly, you know more about the faith issue than we do. You're not giving specifics, which is fine, but it's reading as something like Hindu and Methodist, when it sounds like it might be more like Baptist and Methodist. If you don't think it's an issue, I'd wait until you have a chance to actually discuss religion and see where he stands.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/26 05:13 PM
2

Well, if your internship is temporary, I'd say it's less od a concern, though it might depend a bit on how temporary. Being coworkers is a concern, because if you start seeing each other and he breaks it off in three months over his faith, things are going to be really uncomfortable. Some companies actually have non-fraternization policies for this reason, so you might check. Being unequally yoked depends on his actual relationship with his faith. You said your mother told you these men don't co…
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/26 09:35 AM
2

He has too much going on right now to make you a priority and doesn't want to regardless. He doesn't see this as... anything. You're a girl he's casually talking to, another woman he's slept with, someone he might see again if things line up. If you blocked him tomorrow, it would have zero impact on him or his life. Do with that what you will, but I wouldn't want to be with someone who found me so disposable.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/26 09:29 AM
5

I agree. I don't think he's necessarily malicious, just clueless. The coworker and religion thing is definitely the biggest issue, but I think we're overestimating the men of Gen Z to say he's definitely aware of her cues.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/26 01:14 AM
9

You are wasting an awful lot of time that could be spent finding your husband.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/26 01:04 AM
17

I’ve read a lot of posts here about tattoos and came to the conclusion that they lower my RMV. This is heavily dependent on the kind of guy you want to meet. I’m currently in the process of removing the large one. Well, at least you know how much this hurts and how long it takes. I would recommend starting on the other two as well if you just really don't want them. I did 17 sessions to remove a small black ankh from foot and the shadow is still there. How I Met Your Mother lied to me. Would I s…
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/26 10:32 PM
4

He has laid the groundwork to slow ghost her.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/26 03:43 PM
2

I just thought it got confusing once I was meeting them in person. I couldn't remember who said what. At that point, I'd usually stop talking to anyone but the one person just to keep them straight, but yes, OP doesn't owe either of these men.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/26 03:27 PM
4

Well, he can't possibly have been clearer. He'd love to have a good time, but it doesn't mean anything. How you respond to that is up to you.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/26 03:24 PM
5

It's odd to me that Elon Musk is so polarizing, considering he pushes some pretty popular opinions on both sides. Even if he is an asshole, most people with that kind of wealth are assholes.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/26 12:18 AM
2

I am not OP. You responded to my comment. All valid. Just the wrong person.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/26 12:10 AM
3

I cannot imagine having anything to talk about with someone so much older or younger. That's part of why I don't think he's serious about you. You're in a weird grey area. You're too old to be the hot young piece and too young to be the respected confidant. It seems like he just wants sex from here.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/26 10:37 PM
5

It depends who's telling you you look 35. If it's your dermatologist, maybe it's true. If it's friends, well there are plenty of resources online demonstrating how women lie to each other about stuff like this. If it's men who want sex, then I think the motivation is clear. I just think your post makes it sound like you're not that great of a match. If he's just in it for sex, he can get that anywhere. If he wants to marry a loyal and trusted partner, I don't think he's likely to see that in som…
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/26 10:35 PM
-1

You're the one asking strangers on the internet for advice. There are plenty of other subs that will just give you back pats and affirmations. I'll bet they'll tell you you look 35 too. This response was just needlessly rude.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/26 10:28 PM
11

I don't think you're being honest with yourself about your appeal. Most women in their 40s who swear they look mid-thirties are wrong. They might look good for 43, but 9 times out of 10, they cannot pass for 35, especially the morning after. Even if they can, a lot of the appeal lies in just knowing the woman he's with is younger. You're also highlighting some pretty big differences in worldviews. If he's hinting at being interested in politics and you don't think you two agree, he's not going t…
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/26 10:23 PM
4

It really is up to you if you want to get physical or not. Just don't lead him on and claim he's the bad guy for it. I think just planning in advance not to stay is a good idea. If he's there a few nights and you're feeling it, I'm sure he'll be game.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/26 10:12 PM
10

Yeah, Elon is far from conservative.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/26 09:55 PM
5

Yesterday he said he liked Elon Musk. I’m pretty far left, but after marrying a broke guy for love, have vowed to be pragmatic. This guy is kind and really likes me, but I just wonder about dating someone whose worldview is so different from mine. Does anyone have experience with this? He'll end it soon enough it if you don't. You're wasting your time. I'm sure he'll sleep with you, but I doubt it'll go much further.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/26 09:54 PM
7

It also sounds like OP doesn't even know that she doesn't want to have sex with him. If she's not even sure, this is just game playing. It sounds like she wants points for sending all the signals that he'll get what he wants, without actually planning to follow through. She needs to make her mind up before the date.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/26 09:45 PM
7

Yeah, I don't know if the parent comment is implying he's in the wrong or not, but this is just how dating works. If OP doesn't want to have sex, that's fine, but he's being perfectly clear about his intentions and she said yes. This misunderstanding is on her to rectify.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/26 09:40 PM
3

Yeah, my husband and I met online. He lived an hour away and worked one week on and one week off. While he did send me a text a couple of hours after meeting to tell me he had a good time and wanted to see me again, we would go whole days without texting, too. When he could come to see me (or in time, when I would go to him), he always made a plan to get together when we could. He always paid. He opened doors. Even today, my husband only texts for logistics, like when to pick the kids up or what…
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/26 08:47 PM
10

Intercourse isn't the only thing people do when they're alone together in a rented room. Decide how you feel about other activities as well. You really are sending mixed signals if you agree to stay the night, but refuse sex. It's your right to do that, but it's his to feel led on. Have this conversation in advance, the next time he brings up the room. "I'm happy to stay with you, so we can have more time together, but I'm worried that sends a message I'm not ready to send." See how he responds.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/26 08:20 PM
2

If you're talking about online dating, a guy can be both cute and insufferable. If you haven't met, it can be hard to tell.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 08:44 PM
16

If you haven't met either man, I'd say you're borrowing trouble worrying about this. I know you've done video calls, but spending time together in person will almost always give you more information about chemistry. Just going on what you've shared, I'd say the first guy has more green flags than the second. I always considered sexual overtones to be a red flag and not once was I wrong. Regardless, go on the dates. See how you feel. Post again if you're still torn.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 08:05 PM
5

I don't really know what OP means, but I know I struggled to find a man with a bigger personality than I have. It's possible that's the issue, that she's over eager when she finds that guy, and comes on too strong. If she's Gen Z, she's going to have a a lot of competition for the confident leaders.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 07:59 PM
3

This reminds me of the episode of Sex and the City where Carrie tells the Russian ballet dancer that she might like kids one day. He responds with "When are you going to do this? You're 38." Not that you can't have kids in your 40s, but if you're still single, it's probably not happening.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 07:56 PM
2

In her defense, the newbies at TRP are absolutely taking this literally and doing so should register as a red flag. Not saying the sentiment isn't valid, but there are definitely guys who take this verbatim.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 07:53 PM
1

I definitely agree with the assessment that at least some of these guys are looking for sex. Others seem to be looking for emotional tampons.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 07:52 PM
5

Yeah, this can be good advice for these over eager guys, but I'm not sure I'd recommend a woman entertain that guy in the dating world. It's definitely game playing, but if we're honest, early dating is all game playing. We're all trying to figure out how to be interested, but not too interested, how to be ourselves, but not scare them off with our various weirdness, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 07:51 PM
3

Why do you think coming off too strong is a problem? A man who wants a wife is going to appreciate it. And a man who maybe isn't sure he wants a wife who hears you state your expectations will respect you for it and realize he has to step up or step out. You did say "step up or step out," but I want to emphasize that being open like this early on saves both people a lot of time and energy. I once went out with a 34-year-old man, who answered the question "Do you want kids?" with "I don't know." …
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 01:51 PM
2

But it doesn't sound like men have a problem with your jaw. You do.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 01:46 PM
2

I'm worried because they seem to take things so literally, like it means anything at all for a man to say this. Millennials were young and clueless once too, but I think we all kind of understood that a man saying he'd jump through flaming hoops for Mandy Moore was just a form of locker room talk.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 01:45 PM
2

Is this something that's always made you insecure? What's brought you to the conclusion that this is the reason you can't get the man you want (it's not)?
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 01:42 PM
10

You don't ask a question, but when it comes to dating, keep in mind that a strong leader is still going to value your (and his) independence. Plenty of the women here have careers and still married to leaders. Your independence should never be a turnoff, especially early in the game, when you absolutely should remain independent.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 01:36 PM
9

I feel like a lot of Gen X women have really dropped the ball on guiding their children. Gen Z seems absolutely lost (enter disclaimer about exceptions here).
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 01:42 AM
12

How many have gotten dates with Sadie Sink? Of course they say that about celebrities. It's not a realistic possibility. Your jaw is not the problem. You seem to have found a scapegoat for your dating frustrations and it's a very expensive one. If you admit you're not unattractive, this is not the reason you can't land a "provider." You need to date traditional men open to being providers. No one who wouldn't pay the tab has ever seen a woman, declared "look at the jawline on her," and dropped $…
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 01:28 AM
5

I honestly know a lot of people with recessed jaws. They aren't eagerly taking portraits of their side profiles, but it's also not negatively impacting their lives in any way.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 12:41 AM
4

All that to say, just because red pill women believe that physical presentation is an important aspect of desirability I agree that OP should date regardless of getting surgery, but this is not specifically a Red Pill belief.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 12:29 AM
4

If you want to have surgery, have it, but don't waste your life waiting. Plenty of happily married people are unconventionally attractive. What happens if you never get the surgery or it takes longer than you hoped or it doesn't make you more confident after all? Are you just going to die alone? At the very least, take advantage of the time to learn to talk to men, hear what they say and what they mean, not be so nervous meeting them that you want to vomit. You don't have to sleep with anyone, b…
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/26 12:13 AM
8

You know, the TRP guys used to say that men should only text for logistics. I don't know that it should be that hardlined, but I think there's some merit to not building the relationship over the phone. In the future, try to make more in person dates and send fewer reels if you want to avoid being pen pals. Men who want to form a relationship want to do so in person, generally speaking.
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/26 07:31 PM
14

You're choosing poorly. They're love bombing you, but you're falling for it. At 35, no one should be in an on-again-off-again relationship. That first breakup should be the end in most cases. You shouldn't have let him back in and certainly shouldn't have pursued anything casual. You also shouldn't date if you're hung up on someone else. Not only is this disrespectful of other people's time and feelings, but the dating pool is finite. If you're blowing off good, eligible single men, they're not …
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/26 07:13 PM
2

I think you accidentally commented on the post instead of my comment, just FYI.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/26 04:49 PM
4

Not if you marry someone who doesn't behave this way.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/26 04:49 PM
2

Yeah, I've never really gotten the appeal of an older man personally, but in theory, it's like having a more grown up grown up. They have more life experience, more success, are likely more intelligent on certain things, more assertive and ambitious. This guy has none of those qualities. He's got all the downsides of both a 20-year-old and a 45-year-old.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/26 04:38 PM
2

So when a woman won't stay on top of the laundry, a man should use another woman to make her jealous. Got it. This advice is stupid, bad, and most likely comes from a single person. Treating small disrespect with huge disrespect is not going to improve the overall situation, even if he does the chore. This is the equivalent to Red Pill men advising others to use dread in a marriage. It's cruel, unfaithful, and disrespectful to treat your spouse this way. The initial commenter can have two trophi…
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/26 04:35 PM
3

... and I already gave out my trophy.
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/26 11:22 PM
1

Yeah, actually advising a woman make her husband jealous because he won't fix the knob on a dryer is like suggesting dynamite for a gopher hole.
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/26 07:58 PM
8

Even the door doesn't seem to bother him enough to do anything about it. The dryer seems to be something that creates more issues for you than him, so it's not surprising he doesn't care as much. I really would just start hiring people to do these things. It'll take the stress of of you, give him an out so he doesn't have to mess with it, or motivate him to fix it if it hits his pride or wallet in a way he doesn’t like. It doesn't have to be passive aggressive. It's just another solution.
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/26 06:46 PM
6

Worst advice ever award! 🏆
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/26 06:11 PM
9

So it needs a new knob? If this were the case, I'd YouTube and fix it myself since he already bought the parts. Your overall question, of how to get him to do things... was he always like this or is this new? It sounds like you're talking about a larger problem with maybe not the best example. Does he specifically do this with things you care about that don't impact him? If he only responds with dramatic self-deprecating remarks about being a horrible husband, I'd caution you not to argue. "I'm …
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/26 06:09 PM
16

Yeah, if OP were talking about the weird noise the dryer makes, that would be different. My own husband has a blind spot for stuff he doesn't personally care about, but this is a major household chore. If he hadn't decided to buy a new washer and dryer, or even committed to fixing them, the week before my C-section, I just would have made the call myself. If you want to drag out the ol' "captain and first mate" analogy, the first mate doesn't let the boat sink because the captain is really tired…
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/26 06:01 PM
1

Hi everyone, I’m struggling with a bit of a career and identity crisis. I majored in business back when I thought I wanted to be a "career woman," and I currently work as a corporate Project Manager. I absolutely despise working in the corporate world and only do it to make a living. Because I’m unhappy, I’ve considered switching to a "helping" field like counseling or nursing. However, those paths often require a Master’s degree, and I worry that getting more education will further project an i…
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/26 05:48 PM
54

Hire someone. If he won't do it, pay someone else to so that it gets done. If he's okay with that, wonderful. You have a working dryer. If he has a problem with it, he'll start doing stuff himself.
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/26 05:43 PM
4

I don't get the feeling she's trying to sabotage her career for a potential man, more that she doesn't want to do this forever and is thinking there might be perks to getting out now.
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/26 03:07 PM
6

My company is also pushing me to advance into leadership and manage a team. While the pay would increase, I’m comfortable with my current salary and have no desire to climb the ladder or become a "boss babe." Decline. Keep doing what you're doing and only date men who aren't so insecure that they can't see past a title. I wasn't working in a masculine field when I met my husband, but I did have a master's degree and so many men were threatened by that. They would literally openly mock my career.…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/26 03:04 PM
25

Also, if he's 44 and wants kids... well, men have a window that closes on that too. Paternal age is correlated with many birth defects, not to mention the challenge of raising children starting in your late 40s or early 50s. This is not a serious person in any regard. I would not personally suggest dating someone so much older, but if that's what you're into, the appeal lies in stability and success. This man has none of the perks of being in his mid-forties and all of the pitfalls. If he wanted…
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/26 08:14 PM
3

Oh, joy. A man is here to teach us and he brought literature.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/26 06:14 PM
3

I mean, you could say it upfront on dates you meet in person, but they're likely going to feel like you wasted their time.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/26 03:49 PM
3

Date online and put it on your profile. Just be super open about it. You won't get a lot of dates, but the ones you do get will be much more suited to you.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/26 02:50 PM
2

Although I've been trying to mentally come around because the reality is I may need to cough up sex/pregnancy/kids in order to lock down a guy for protection against shittier types of men who prey on single women and finances. I hope you fail. No man deserves to be used for their resources by a woman pretending to like sex and want kids. If you're asexual, you should only be dating asexual or low libido men.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/26 02:39 PM
4

It would be stupid to waste an opportunity with a guy you like just because he also doesn't want to drive an hour to meet a stranger. Why are you entitled to that feeling when he's not? Compromise. That seems like what he's actually trying to do by suggesting you go to him and he'll make sure you guys have a good time. It's okay if that plan doesn't work, but he has literally no way of knowing you even are who you say you are, so suggest an alternative before writing him off. Don't miss out beca…
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/26 02:28 PM
8

Well, what is your city like? Is there plenty to do or does main street shut down at 5:00 because it's a town of 10,000 people? I wouldn't write him off, but I also probably wouldn't travel for someone I hadn't even met. I'd say something like "I'm not really comfortable traveling that far for a first date. If you don't want to come here, maybe we could meet in (city between you)." It's somewhat understandable for both of you not to want to travel a long way for a first date. Just split the diff…
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/26 01:20 AM
4

Based on this post, she's refusing to acknowledge that there was a breakup.
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/26 03:33 PM
12

I feel like these types of high-value men might be fairer for me to go for, cause I have more to offer them currently, than the types of high-value men who don't have that need. Why? I assure you that you are not the first woman to think a rich nerd is easier to land than a rich hot guy. Look at old photos of every famous tech guy. That said, don't date men aware of TRP or who follow pick-up artists. Their goal is not to show you off in public. It's to get sex and drop you when they're bored. Th…
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/26 03:25 PM
10

I think you're missing the definition of the word learning. My initial advice last week was no less kind than anyone else's. The consensus was that you had hurt this man's pride and your behavior would likely lead to a breakup. You argued with every person who told you that and here you are, leaving out context so people will validate your feelings.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/26 03:26 PM
4

I think you're reading into the word "independent." It's not a synonym for bossy, particularly not in American culture. If you're living on your own and chasing your dreams, you are independent. That doesn't mean you're a "boss bitch." Now, these men might still be intimidated by you if they're noting that, but I don't think it's the insult you're thinking. I literally just thought about every man I dated and realized the ones who took me seriously were the super ambitious types who care a lot a…
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/26 03:13 PM
20

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1q72joq/i_sometimes_feel_like_me_and_my_partner_are/ Maybe this post where you told everyone you broke up with this guy two months ago could provide some insight. Multiple people told you that breaking up with a man and telling him it was because he's not enough of a leader would leave you single, even if you'd gotten back together. You got mad at all of them and claimed you were "learning," but had no regrets, while complaining that he wasn't buyin…
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/26 03:04 PM
2

I thought we are in the RPwomen group. She shouldn’t be chasing him and playing hard to get is when he is pursuing her and she still reject him. Not agreeing with you doesn't make my advice less appropriate for the sub. I'm so tired of reading that lazy accusation from women in admittedly miserable marriages. She actually verifies that she ended things in another comment, so I did read that correctly. If you reject a man and decide you want to rekindle a relationship, yes, you should chase a lit…
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/26 11:16 PM
2

I'm the same person you replied to, but I would suggest editing your post. It's ambiguous what happened and how.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/26 10:04 PM
3

Ah. That's much better context. I stand by my advice to give him opportunities to ask you out and enthusiastically show interest, though. If you like him, particularly when things have ended over communication issues once already, don't be coy or play hard to get. Be absolutely clear about your interest and excitement. The worst thing that will happen is things don't work out and you won't have to wonder if that's why.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/26 09:54 PM
3

I think the communication there is probably key. If she didn't even openly speak to him about it, she deserves to grovel a bit.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/26 09:05 PM
7

This is... bad advice. She rejected a seemingly great guy and has a real chance to resume things. Playing hard to get is going to get her ghosted right back. If the situation were reversed, no one would be telling her to make any effort with the man who blew her off.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/26 09:03 PM
10

As I reflected on my past dating experiences, I decided to date a variety of men instead of having some superficial filters like their height, hair color, ethnicity, etc. This is awesome. This is how not to die alone. This is what everyone should be doing. Good for you. However, I have gone on three first dates recently and when it came up that I'm an only child, all men told me that's so interesting and that I'm very "independent" in their opinion. Is this true? Are you independent? If so, stic…
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/26 09:01 PM
3

I'm legitimately surprised she even got one date after what sounds like ghosting him.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/26 08:51 PM
13

Sorry, but if you're the one who broke it off, you're the one who has to take the lead for a bit. He put himself out there and, however reasonable your decision, you rejected him and it sounds like you did so without much discussion. That's pretty disrespectful when you're in an ongoing relationship, even unofficially. If you really like this guy, you have to show your interest this time. In time, if he's a natural leader, he'll start leading things again. For now, his hesitance is entirely warr…
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/26 08:42 PM
2

Point that out. Not necessarily that his views have changed. A lot of people have moved further in their direction. Point out that his response and method of arguing his point has made you want to debate with him even less. That said, if he feels this passionately about politics, it would help if, in addition to making these points, you agreed to stay somewhat aware of world events if he agrees to accept your viewpoint and debate it with respect. Don't get me wrong. I get not being able to engag…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/26 04:38 PM
2

I would stop using the phrase "willfully ignorant," because it's not accurate. You're not ignorant, you're disinterested. You have compassion fatigue and can't care about all the things. You don't have the bandwidth to worry about the stuff you can't change. All of those say what you're trying to say without employing a synonym for stupid. If he's as interested in politics as you say, especially if he has a conservative sway, he will likely hate to be seen as someone who can only argue with emot…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/26 03:54 PM
2

My husband actually had this issue when we met. I calmly pointed it out to him, explaining that I don't want to talk to him about certain things because he's too aggressive. At the time, he would say things that deliberately shut down discussion and made me feel stupid. It wasn't that I didn't like talking about them, but that I didn't like the way he talked about them to me. Perhaps it would help if you gather some concrete examples of him belittling you (like saying he's disappointed when you …
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/26 03:43 PM
1

You're right. Stay. Live happily ever after and care for him through his old age, which will hit much sooner than yours. He's a catch. /s
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/26 03:32 PM
1

In this man's case, the reasoning seems obvious, but there are soooo many reasons to stop talking to someone on an app. Maybe they said something that means they're incompatible, maybe work just got super busy, maybe they realize they aren't over their ex, maybe their grandpa just died. It's great to reflect on your own potential mistakes, but beyond that, just assume it has nothing to do with you.
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/26 07:42 PM
13

Stay out of the manosphere? Incels have always existed. They just have a brand now. Don't waste your time on them. Never date a man more than casually familiar with the manosphere, either.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/26 07:21 PM
6

Learn to look for patterns and subtle signals while also being careful not to create a self made prison locking you out of potential partners. I think this post might be more helpful if this were expanded on. Yes, we should vet, but I think we all know that. The question is how? Some suggestions: Ask questions. The more organically discussions arise, the more honest the answers. For instance "Do you watch porn?" This is such a direct and invasive approach that it's likely to receive an evasive r…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/26 04:39 PM
3

Learning ≠ receiving praise. Since it's clear the latter is your goal, I'd suggest a different sub. r/singleparents seems very willing to tell you what you want to hear. I see you got some excellent advice about pining for your ex while dating this man. You have a great year. Seems promising.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/26 03:46 PM
4

I do think you searched for the flaw in my post, and became enraged that Im learning. Well, I think you broke up with a single father right before the holidays, with only trivial issues to cite, and are now claiming that none of your complaints or stresses impact him. Then you claim it wasn't immature, even though you admit you weren't proud of it. That's actually the opposite of learning. You can twist things to make yourself the victim all you like, but you're the unhappy one in the relationsh…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/26 03:19 PM
5

I disagree. Consistently being ghosted by seemingly high value men who make overtly sexual comments means OP is choosing the wrong men and likely dating out of her league.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/26 03:07 PM
6

Ding, ding, ding. Men don't ghost adorable bombshells they could take home to mom. I think OP is seriously overestimating herself in the dating world.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/26 02:23 PM
8

You both work and have children, but you're complaining that things aren't as fun and new five months in? I mean this kindly, but you seem to have unrealistic expectations about maintaining the "newness" of a relationship. You have a man who loves you, is apparently still around after you dumped him, calls regularly, gives you lots of attention, has been very responsive to what seems like a lot of complaining in a short time, and says he's ready to commit... but you're disappointed that you have…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/26 02:16 PM
8

Anyway, the algorithm drives this type of reaction so be grateful for your haters; they’re getting your content more views. So true. I could never be a content creator, with the feedback being overwhelmingly negative, especially in TRP circles.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/26 04:07 PM
5

TRP is rife with angry incels. If you want to touch on the topic, they'll come out in force. There's no way around it.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/26 03:50 PM
9

Rust is not safe. You have two kids and he wants them to be safe. You want an aesthetic. The person who wants safety wins here. As for the other stuff, based on your post history, you got exactly the relationship you and your husband both agreed to when you married. You say he's gone 90% of the time, so he's not the reason you no longer have a simple life of feeding stray cats and sweeping monasteries. Your kids are. I'm sure you love them, so you're wasting your (and their) life and time longin…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/26 11:01 PM
1

If anything, a lot of strong women like stronger men. They can call themselves "slayer" women or whatever dumb buzzword they want, but plenty of strong feminist women still like to let go. Not all conservative women are into being more submissive and not all cliche blue-haired feminists want to ballgag a man.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/26 04:30 PM
7

This is a regional question. Ask friends what they use or even Google it. Whatever is most popular in your area is going to give you the most options overall. A succinct and honest profile, along with flattering photos that accurately represent you are far more important than whatever platform you choose. Make sure you couple online dating with an effort to meet organically. The former is still the number one way people meet today, but it's important to be in the habit of being approachable and …
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/26 09:09 PM
2

OP has already been told not to try to lose weight by doctors and nutritionists.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/26 03:46 PM
4

It's not strange to go out alone. I used to do it all the time when I was single. That said, I still met my husband online, because it's the number one way people meet, so I'd encourage responsible dating app usage. If relocating is something you'd be willing to consider, I'd suggest a bigger city in the South or Midwest, not just to increase your dating options, but to find yourself in like-minded company. Regardless, I'd recommend doing everything you can to meet organically, whether that's ta…
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/26 03:45 PM
7

Reddit is still pretty much the worst place you can get medical advice.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/26 01:55 AM
9

You should talk to a doctor or nutritionist about this, not reddit.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/26 01:30 AM
11

Find someone equally asexual. There are plenty of people out there who have little to no drive. They should be dating each other. Dead bedrooms are cruel.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/26 01:27 AM
5

You bring to the table whatever your bring to the table. If he were past the age of wanting to marry or have kids, I think the concern would be more valid. He wants someone younger, with less baggage.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/26 02:55 PM
15

How much does social background actually matter compared to behavior, values, and femininity? In this case, I would wager your social background matters more than if your requirements were more broad. That doesn't mean it's an insurmountable issue, but I would advise you to prepare to feel like an outsider in the case of success. For instance, I married a literal cowboy. My husband's family ranches and rodeos, as the family business, not a side gig. I was a suburban librarian. I wasn't looking f…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/26 09:24 PM
8

Why do you wonder this just because there's a bit of an age gap? Do you wonder this with all men?
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/26 09:09 PM
3

You think he's boring. You say it's his "communication style," but what's the difference? You're wasting his time, just to make yourself feel better about exhausting him as an option.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/26 08:53 PM
4

I left my career when I had my twins. It was really difficult to let go of something I worked so hard for and the sense of independence that came with it. That said, I was so worn out from back-to-back pandemic IVF, my mother's death from Covid-19 six weeks before my girls were born, and my near death having them. Work wasn't fun anymore, due to Covid-19. I just wanted to be home with my babies. Everyone told me I'd regret it. Everyone was wrong. If you're American, you know how much emphasis is…
/r/RedPillWives02/01/26 08:46 PM
8

New Year's Eve is just generally pretty exhausting if you do the traditional party scene, too.
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/26 08:30 PM
4

Not religious ones, it's not. At least not without the OP bringing it up first. RP is amoral.
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/26 07:35 PM
41

Some guys just aren't into lingerie. Yours might be a bit desensitized to it if he's seen you strip and you wore this on a party night. Perhaps mix it up a bit and wear something really sexy while doing something wholesome for him, like baking a pie.
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/26 07:34 PM
5

He's dating her. It's ridiculous to say he didn't respond because he has a problem with her occupation. Not everyone shares your faith, either.
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/26 07:32 PM
2

The 19th, by scheduled C-section. We were trying to get her as far from Christmas as possible and it had to be scheduled anyway. She's our Christmas cookie.
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/25 03:19 PM
32

This might be a better question for a submissive sub.
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/25 03:19 PM
9

True motivation needs to be intrinsic. Reframe your thinking that these are changes you're making for yourself, not him. Hopefully, though this post is vague, any changes this man is encouraging you to make will benefit you as a person overall. That means that even if this relationship doesn't last, you're better for it and the next one.
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/25 04:34 PM
13

I really think these two things are just apples and oranges, completely dependent on the person. I've had a great career I loved, where I've been the manager, led the meetings, gone to the conferences. Now I have five under five and stay home. The first was hard in different ways. It was exhausting managing the feelings and emotions of grown adults. It was draining to pretend to care about the latest management model. Catering to the whims of management and cheerleading dumb ideas wore me out. T…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/25 04:11 PM
15

There's not a strategy that will land you a billionaire. There's certainly some good advice to be found on landing your version of a high value man, but you're literally talking about a percentage of people (not eligible men) that rounds down to 0. Even if you're only talking millionaires, the ones who are single and looking are going to be a tiny fraction of the dating market. If they're even remotely attractive or charming, they're also going to be the most sought after. While I'm certain a go…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/25 01:14 AM
6

I'm saying the quote misrepresents the facts, not you. These men are spouting off manosphere podcast talking points that don't represent reality. There are as many different viewpoints on this as there are men and no one rule will accurately describe how any of them perceive your number. Most decent men don't refer to women as being "all used up." Angry internet virgins do. The right thing to do depends on you and your potential partner. Again, there is no one one way to do this. He might want t…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/25 12:46 AM
5

People didn't care that I lost my body count in marriage, just that they're owed sex without prolonged commitment since I'm already "used up." This is a gross misrepresentation of the facts, in more ways than one. Men aren't going to want to wait for sex with a non-virgin in most cases, not because they're "all used up," but because sex is fun and they don't really see a point. That doesn't mean you owe them anything or have to have sex sooner than you're comfortable. You can wait until an estab…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/25 12:15 AM
2

What you're describing isn't fat dependent on body type and even ethnicity, though. You seem to have some really unhealthy views of weight. I'm not going to tell you there's such a thing as health at every size or that men don't care about weight, but you're talking about this in extremes. 165 pounds for a woman who's 5'7" is barely in the overweight category, with no accounting for muscle mass or build. What men don't like, is women with untreated mental illness and eating disorders.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/25 09:34 PM
1

Preferences and body styles that differ from your apparent body dysmorphia ≠ "disconnected from reality."
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/25 09:07 PM
1

He also has a very unique build. BMI might not be a perfect measure, but it is a range. If it says you're obese, you're likely obese or pretty overweight.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/25 09:04 PM
5

It's sort of cheating in my case, because she's really cute.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/25 06:34 PM
11

Diamond earrings for my youngest son's birthstone. He got a fifth child, though, so I win.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/25 01:49 PM
16

You stop worrying by doing everything you can to improve your situation. Cultivate hobbies you enjoy and continue to become the person you hope to be. Spend time with friends and get your finances in order. Enjoy this time of life, because it's valid and you'll look back on it fondly. As for meeting someone, date with intent. Be cute at the gym, social at church, and active on the dating apps. Go on dates with the understanding that it'll probably take quite a few tries to find a good guy. My hu…
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/25 11:49 PM
3

This just sounds like basic toxic breakup behavior. You probably should have kept your gifts for his family. He's officially an ex boyfriend. You don't owe them anything and they probably don't want anything, especially if you were somewhat to blame for the breakup. It was still a jerk move for him to take them and not deliver them, but you should leave it alone and cut your losses. Tit for tat will just drag this out. Go your separate ways.
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/25 04:29 AM
7

She's unquestionably an adult at 24. I know plenty of women who've gotten into relationships with older men at that age. It has nothing to do with age if a woman is struggling to make a decision about a relationship. We have 40-year-old posters who can't get their shit together and others who happily married in their early twenties. If anything makes this predatory, it's that he's deliberately going after younger women so he can waste their time, which is specific to this case. That doesn't mean…
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/25 05:09 PM
16

He also said many women tell him he leads them on but he doesn't think he does. You're young and this is just a learning opportunity, but this is the red flag you missed. If many women tell him something and he disagrees, he's the common denominator.
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/25 05:04 PM
6

I'd generally call it a yellow flag, myself. I think the reasons this man gives make it more red, like not wanting women who want something serious. He knows he's a time waster and these girls will more happily waste their time without picking up on it. OP is 24, not 19, so I wouldn't call it predatory in other circumstances.
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/25 03:47 PM
12

I do think it was a red flag, but it also doesn't sound like something he revealed tp you from the start. He's 34 and keeps running back to a burned out flame. He's done this with multiple women. I doubt he shared that either. So, yes, it was a red flag, but I think you can be forgiven for missing it as such.
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/25 03:42 PM
2

The comments are suggesting it and those are the only ones she's responded to. I didn't get this from the post either. I think she just wants him humbled
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 07:03 PM
4

I don't disagree.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 06:27 PM
1

I feel like this might be what's really going on. OP is upset because a casual friend remarked on her over-eagerness in a way that stung because there's truth to it. She's hurt and wants to see him brought low with implications that he's just in love with her or not that good of a boyfriend. Otherwise, it was a totally innocuous comment.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 06:07 PM
4

This guy comes across as an acquaintance. She even mentions him as just being a part of the friend group.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 06:05 PM
3

I have no idea what's behind it, but the reaction seems pretty overblown to the comment. Maybe she's annoyed that he always talks up the girlfriend and is truly just frustrated that he'd tell her she's trying too hard to find a relationship. Even so, it's silly to be angry about his commentary when she's talking to him about her dating life. I only felt like she wanted people to claim he likes her because that's the only comment she replied to after posting. If that's the case, maybe it's just a…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 06:03 PM
10

I think OP wants to hear that this guy likes her, even though nothing in her post indicates that.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 03:09 PM
11

Well, obviously just ordering you around and making you do everything isn't respectful, so perhaps you could sit down and talk about this when you're both calm. Ask what respect looks like to him. Explain what it looks like to you. See where the conversation goes from there and consider whether you need help having it, meaning some kind of couple's counseling.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 02:34 PM
10

Why did you marry him? Genuinely, what about him made you decide to make that commitment? You seem to feel he takes you for granted and isn't doing his share. Was this what you agreed to or has something changed?
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 01:54 PM
9

This is the only thing you've mentioned that is inappropriate and implies he has a thing for you. Maybe he does or maybe he's just being gross, but nothing in your post suggests he's in love with you or trying to control you. If you don't want to be friends, don't. It sounds like you're focusing on the wrong thing though, when cutting him off would impact your relationship with your whole friend group.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 12:42 PM
7

What does any of this have to do with RPW? But lately I’ve been talking to him about a new guy I really like and have been seeing, and how I’m insecure about whether or not he likes me. And you know what he said? My guy friend told me, “Oh, I feel like you’re trying to get in a relationship too much” like he was giving commentary on my life. Like it’s literally none of his business. If you've been talking to him about it regularly, you're making it his business. Now I feel so pissed off because …
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 12:35 PM
5

I can't take anyone seriously when they use the word "preggers."
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 04:16 AM
4

I have soooo many. It was delightful. My husband disagreed. 🤣
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/25 05:43 PM
19

The problem with this idea is the deliberation it implies. "Stay single" is a demand suggesting that should be your ultimate intent. In reality, you should be enjoying singledom, because it's just as valid as any stage of life and shouldn't be squandered. At no other time in your life are you going to be able to pick up and go on a spontaneous girls' road trip, stay up all night reading and crafting, have Vampire Diaries marathons while eating popcorn for dinner. Your version might look differen…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/25 02:48 PM
4

We tell women not to date men like this for a reason.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/25 04:32 PM
6

What are these religious beliefs? The way this is worded sounds like a very specific faith with extreme expectations on this issue, as opposed to say, "no more than kissing and hugging."
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/25 04:07 PM
9

Honestly, I don't advise this if you're not also on board. If you were a devout (insert faith here) and this was a pillar of your faith, I'd have encouraging words for you. As your post reads, this is all him and you're planning to sacrifice something important to you to keep him. I don't know what you mean by "physical contact" (everyone is assuming premarital sex, but your post makes it seem far more severe), but it's clearly too much for you from your tone. From an amoral stance, if you're un…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/25 03:18 PM
2

I feel like Millennials have and had a better balance on this subject. I certainly remember it mastering when we were young, but not to this level of hypocrisy. Now they're all old enough that they know they're not getting virgins anyway.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/25 02:10 PM
5

This is none of his business. He needs to seek therapy if he's this fragile. This is absolutely ridiculous.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/25 04:09 AM
9

No, it's dumb to cater to it over your health.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/25 04:07 AM
2

It's a semantic argument, really. It's deeply harmful and problematic regardless of what we call it. It sure isn't empowering. I wouldn't call stripping sex work either, but that doesn't mean it's not exploitative or demeaning. I don't have strong feelings about the terms used. I was just clarifying what I was talking about in the post.
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/25 01:11 PM
2

I agree that parental responsibility is a major factor, as is growing up in an intact nuclear home. Basically every half decent study done backs this up. However, parents simply aren't the only influence in their children's lives. By their teens, most people are more affected by peers than their own family. So, if women are giving young women the idea that these activities will make them rich, famous, or desired, that can be tough to combat for a teenage girl who thinks mom is "just saying that,…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/25 01:03 AM
2

It's also not men claiming sex work is valid. Even the ones who will defend porn to the grave won't defend a woman's choice to go into porn. They admit the reality. So, if we're looking for where to place blame in our day-to-day lives, women are doing this to themselves.
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/25 09:30 PM
2

That's actually why I said majority. I've heard of situations like that, but I don't think it makes up the bulk of accounts. I certainly don't think it's harmless and it comes with its own risks. They're just generally not the same as the ones sex workers face, though there might be some overlap, such as limiting options for the future.
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/25 05:55 PM
12

Being an OnlyFans model is not automatically empowerment. For many, it seems to be about validation and insecurity, not freedom. Being an OnlyFans model is never about empowerment. It's always about validation and insecurity, often coupled with unrealistic expectations of where it will go for the performer. Teenage girls think they can make six figures doing this, only to ruin many of their prospects for a career, husband, even certain social circles. It's not empowering. It's destructive and pr…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/25 05:24 PM
6

But what if you’re not the kind of woman who wants to be solely seen as those things you mentioned? Then don't be? If you want to be the competitive career woman, go for it. If you want to be the social butterfly, have at it. If you want to be sexy and fun, go for it for as long as you can manage. My husband has seen and does see me as many things. If he was only going for physical attraction, he'd have married a rodeo queen years earlier. There's more to attraction than that. If you only value …
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/25 10:15 PM
3

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Don't date an adult! Hire a professional chef with your own money, because he won't buy sandwich fixings! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/25 03:14 PM
3

I shudder to think what parenting with these men looks like.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/25 03:13 PM
8

You bring up a good point here. If he doesn't want to cook, what's he eating and where is he getting it? Meal subscription services have varied, tasty, and healthy offerings. If someone can afford that, then it's fairly reasonable to choose that over a disliked chore. That's really no different than paying someone to do anything else that needs to be done. Subsisting solely on fast food, pizza rolls, and packaged donuts is a different deal. It shows a lack of interest in more than just cooking, …
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/25 12:47 AM
12

You can refuse to hang out during meal times unless he makes some kind of arrangement or comes to you and you cook. I'd limit the latter. What you describe isn't traditional. It's selfish and lazy. My husband is a literal Southern cowboy, meaning very traditional. He still cooked for me sometimes when we were dating. If he didn't, he at least thought of what we would eat.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 11:34 PM
6

My husband cooks a good half of our meals. He grew up on a cattle ranch and was in the oilfield when we met. Cooking is for competent adults.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 09:56 PM
16

Well, even if you're okay with food being the woman's domain, you're not the woman of his house. That's a husband privilege. He's a boyfriend and can cook his own meals.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 09:27 PM
26

Oh, please don't do this to yourself. Online dating is the number one way people meet, so keep trying. Send that first message. Ask about his dog. Show interest. If he disappears, don't read into it. Literally anything could have happened. His dog could have died. He could be stressed about work. He could finally have decided that he's not really over his ex and doesn't want to date. He could determine that you're marriage material and he wants hookup material. You haven't even met the guy. Do n…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 08:09 PM
25

You're not being unreasonable. Grownups know how to care for themselves. You're also not his mother and it sounds like neither of you enjoys you taking on that role. He seems to feel infantilized and you seem to feel like you're having to raise a grown man. At this point, I'd suggest you take a step back. If he has no food in his house, refuse to spend time there during meals. If he won't even buy cereal, don't sleep over. If he asks about it, I'd just tell him bluntly "I don't like waking up an…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 08:00 PM
2

You can't defend a cause if you don't know what it is, which she hasn't shared. She has shared that the comments aren't justified, though.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 06:22 PM
1

You have no basis for any of this. OP has intentionally left out any context. We're not here to advise him. We're here to advise her. She's even admitted her rhetoric is unacceptable, so I don't know why you're defending it. Writing fanfiction about her relationship doesn't help her.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 05:27 PM
2

OP apparently does, which is why she's asking, per her post.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 04:52 PM
3

She doesn't say "first few dates." She says "at some point." She also specifically says it usually leads to a "situationship," which quite clearly defines an ulterior motive to no longer seriously date her in favor of hooking up. She doesn't need to defend her suggestions, but she did. If she wants him to continue to show interest, she should absolutely give a reason why she keeps suggesting alternatives.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 04:44 PM
6

No, I'm saying that OP is asking a very general hypothetical of how to refuse going to his place before she's ready for sex. If she keeps circumventing the question by suggesting alternatives, as opposed to saying outright that she's not comfortable doing that, it's possible it will look like avoidance of being alone with him for another reason, such as disinterest. Circumstances matter, of course, but this could easily come across as "No. You can buy me dinner, but I don't want to progress the …
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 04:08 PM
6

Suggesting an alternative is great, but after a couple of rebuffs, you do need to just explain that this isn't something you do. Otherwise it's likely to look like disinterest and something you just don't want to do with him.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 03:29 PM
3

I think this is also highly dependent on circumstances. If it's been four amazing dates and he does want sex, but respects a polite refusal, so what? Sex is fun. Men like sex. Lots of women do have sex earlier in a relationship or before establishing one. I don't think this says anything about his character, unless you're looking for a Christian virgin.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 03:28 PM
4

I don't understand why you're blaming the sub when these posts are largely debunked and even mocked. No one here is supporting this rhetoric. If I do see that, it's usually just another 20-year-old reading too much TRP content.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 03:14 PM
21

I'm withholding my eyeroll here to tell you something every near teenager who brings this up needs to hear. Even if it's all downhill from 30 (because FFS it's not 25), you have almost 10 years to marry and settle down. Assuming you don't do so with a total tool, your husband will not value you solely on looks. I've been married for eight and a half years. Baby number five comes next Friday. At this point, I don't even think I could fit into the boots I wore on my wedding day. Even if/when I los…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 02:43 PM
0

Aggressively insulting his family, when she knows how much it upsets him, is not standing up for herself. It is, in fact, pretty masculine behavior.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 02:11 PM
4

We don't have enough details to say anything about what he's doing. OP has very carefully painted herself as the ultimate victim and ignored any request for more information for why her own horrible behavior is warranted.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 12:54 PM
2

I agree. This isn't a respectful way to communicate with someone you're choosing to share your life with.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 01:48 AM
4

Agreed. I want to know what justifies these seemingly hyperbolic claims.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/25 11:20 PM
1

I had to Google grey rocking. OP is at least equally responsible for the terrible communication in this relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/25 10:28 PM
9

Well, I guess the obvious is to stop insulting his family to his face. If he's close with them, it's more than likely he's repeated some of the stuff you've said, so I'm sure it's worsening the problem. This seems to really be the root of your issue, not "his family is ruining my relationship," but "the way we deal with his family is ruining our relationship." This is not an external problem. This is your problem, both of you. Until you own that, you're not going to make much progress hoping the…
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/25 02:47 PM
19

Hard disagree. Assuming that any man who wants to make you dinner wants sex is a great way to stay single. OP doesn't say how many dates have occurred and words this as a hypothetical general question as opposed to a reference to a specific relationship. As a second date, though? Sure, that would be a red flag in most situations.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/25 02:15 PM
42

Be firm, but polite. "No, thank you. I don't go to men's homes before I'm in a relationship." If that's too blunt for you "No, thank you. I prefer public dates this early on." Say it as if of course he'll respect your very reasonable boundary, because he should.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/25 01:50 PM
13

If you're arguing that it's justifiable to call his family "evil" to his face, you're going to need to add more context. As it is, it sounds like you're hitting below the belt and you both just suck at communicating. It's not okay for him to force sleepovers with people you don't get along with, but it's also not okay for you to trash the family he's apparently quite close to, either. Of course he gets defensive when you call his family "poisonous". Unless they're cartel members, this isn't acce…
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/25 01:38 PM
0

I think it's promising that these numbers refer to the Millennial men who are left, meaning they still haven't married. Maybe it was never as bleak as we thought.
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/25 02:46 PM
3

I love this so much.
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/25 12:10 AM
0

We know it contradicts your statement that "Men these days do not have family as priority." More than half do.
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/25 07:08 PM
5

I do think your initial statement came off a little differently than you intended then. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you and created a strain on your family, though. I think both SAHMs and working women need to be more honest about the struggles to help other women better decide, as opposed to competing with one another.
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/25 07:07 PM
2

Per Google: Key Statistics & Trends: High Desire for Marriage/Kids: Research suggests a strong majority of Gen Z wants marriage (around 75%) and children (around 70%). Gender Divide: Gen Z men are generally more likely to want marriage and children compared to Gen Z women, who often prioritize career and financial independence more highly. Shifting Priorities: While many want these traditional milestones, they often rank things like financial stability and emotional stability highly, and may del…
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/25 06:58 PM
5

You’ve said some things that have made it sound like you are really excited about two good incomes in the family, and while that’s entirely valid, that’s not what I see for myself and my future family. I'm wondering if both of these people aren't seeing something entirely different in the other. If it's been a month and they aren't clear about this, what are they discussing to be so sure about one another? OP seems to see a man who can support a family with a nice life. He seems to see a woman w…
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/25 05:26 PM
6

I agree that contentment can be difficult in any role. I think there's a pervasive "anyone can do it" mentality about being a SAHM similar to how the homeschool community pushes that message. In reality, a SAHM has to be organized, enjoy domestic tasks like cooking and cleaning, and serving her family. It's not really enough for these things to be tolerable. They have to actually fill you up. Someone who finds fulfillment in a career might be surprised to find fulfillment in these things, just a…
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/25 05:17 PM
9

I love this. I could have used this breakdown when I was trying to figure out how to flirt. 🤣
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/25 05:08 PM
4

I didn't do any of that. I have an older brother who lived with my dad after the divorce. I lived half my childhood as an only child. I had little experience with small children and still don't particularly care for them when they belong to someone else. I never planned to stay home. I was raised by women who thought very little of SAHM's. After my girls were born, everything changed. Both my husband and I wanted me to stay home. It's been four years now and neither of us have ever regretted it.…
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/25 01:11 AM
7

If you're talking marriage, regardless of how long you've been together, you need to be unmistakably clear about this. I think it's a good idea to talk about it before the holidays and give him some time. Just make sure you're not leaving room for something you don't want and/or aren't willing to negotiate. When he talks, don't twist his words to say what you want. Truly listen to what he says and make it clear that you want to know how he really feels.
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/25 01:08 AM
4

It is very hard to be a CONTENT SAHM. "It was very hard for me to be a content SAHM." Fixed it for you. Plenty of women are very happy in this role. Edited to Add: I had two working grandmothers, a working mother, and always intended to work. I got a master's degree and had a very fulfilling career before deciding to stay home. My husband and I are very happy with the arrangement, regardless of what we planned. We couldn't imagine me working now. I have more than one in to return to the workforc…
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/25 12:41 AM
13

Your post says you're to the point of talking about marriage and kids in the next year. You're really rushing things if it's only been a month. Even in the rare cases where people do know that early, these conversations aren't that hard.
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/25 12:40 AM
44

How do I make sure we’re on the same page about this without coming off as a gold digger? We’re at a point where we’re talking about marriage and kids in the next year. So I want to make sure that we have the same vision, or break up and I’ll find someone who does. If he makes as much money as you say, he must be intelligent enough to figure out that you make plenty of money on your own. If he says you're a gold digger, he's either stupid or mean. That said, you're both refusing to hear the othe…
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/25 11:05 PM
7

Yeah, I think your only other option would be hostility. That's not likely to improve the living situation, however cathartic it might be. I'd suggest pointedly putting on some noise canceling headphones at this point.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/25 09:08 PM
21

I actually would get a kick out of trolling her like this, but I do think it'll make the roommate more obnoxious. I had a good friend who went on a super irritating feminist path right around the time I got married. It was amusing calling myself Mrs. Husbandsname, but it did not help the situation.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/25 08:04 PM
62

Well, for starters, I'd stop bringing up the boyfriend, unless absolutely necessary. In those instances, I'd go with "I'm not looking for feedback." To general man hating, I'd say "I'm not the audience for this." Then leave the room. Repeat as necessary. When the time comes, I'd suggest "I think I'd like to find a new roommate."
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/25 07:39 PM
4

Yeah, I thought the same. If she needs to focus on herself right now, the feel good boost she's getting from this guy doesn't justify the investment he's putting in.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/25 02:34 AM
6

It is like you are imagining he's taken advantage of you when he has done no such thing. It's not fair to him or your new relationship (and yes this is a relationship, as much as you are avoiding the title of gf). Yes to all of this. If he's crying on her shoulder, she's definitely left that out. If her first reaction to hearing his dad died is to think of her own feelings when she's not being asked anything, that's a sign she shouldn't be pursuing this at all.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/25 12:11 AM
15

I don't want to get involved in the grieving process of someone I don't know very well yet, even if he can be the one. After just a few dates, I wouldn't want The New Girl supporting me through a major loss. Send flowers. Be kind if he wants to talk and don't make it about your own trauma. Otherwise give him space. If he's trying to lean too hard on someone he just met, that's something of a red flag in itself. He should have family and friends for this. Be available like you would with any frie…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/25 11:27 PM
9

Double standards really play in your favor here. Whereas a man living at home at 28 and just starting his career would be waving all kinds of flags to prospective women, it really isn't that big of a deal to men. If it were, they wouldn't be dating you. This is definitely a You Problem, because of your own insecurities about it. To help with that, I'd suggest coming up with some boiler plate answers to questions they might ask. Figure out how to concisely explain what you do for work, where you …
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/25 01:45 PM
23

My husband paid for every date, but it wasn't contingent on him getting to do what he wanted. We usually just agreed on something we both liked. If we went somewhere I preferred, he still paid. I did nice things for him in return, like bake cookies or make him dinner. I also worked two jobs and had way less money at the time.
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/25 03:35 AM
-1

The wrong career is just as common a choice as the wrong person, especially in an ever-changing tech landscape. I'd say it's probably best not to totally bank on either.
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/25 02:26 PM
1

AI is wiping out entire industries. Ageism is a thing and people got laid off all the time, even before AI. When that happens, it can feel impossible to get a new position. Often, people have to settle for something lower paying that doesn't even fit their skillset. Statistically speaking, it's harder to get work after 45. There is absolutely no guarantee that a career will support you for life.
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/25 02:04 PM
24

I mean that being a librarian was all I wanted for a long time. It was who I was as a person. I was a researcher, a public servant, an academic. My friends were all people I worked with and nearly my entire social life was wrapped up in work. When I left to stay home with my kids, it was heartbreaking to give up something that, in hindsight, was just a job. Those friendships are Facebook friends now. I only even see two or three of them outside of work these days. I adored my boss. The last time…
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/25 02:42 AM
51

My mother wanted to be a mother and a wife early on. She had me at 22, but when her marriage fell apart, she often told me she regretted not having built something for herself first and wished that I would study and “protect myself” through education and independence. Her experience deeply shaped my choices. She did not remarry (yet). There's a pretty big range, here. If you want to be a medical doctor, I'd suggest speaking to female medical doctors, not just "career women." You can be a career …
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/25 02:03 AM
16

This is really just so dependent on him as a person and your relationship. I've found both listings for my husband's last two career positions. I literally wrote the first resume and helped quite a bit with the last one, same for the applications. I was a librarian for 10 years, so research and presentation and all those things are much more in my wheelhouse than they are in his hydrology career. Under different circumstances, a man might feel patronized by this or like I need to stay in my lane…
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/25 08:12 PM
22

I’m someone who is naturally drawn to dominant, grounded, traditionally masculine men, so this detail makes me hesitate. This is really the only thing that you should focus on, your own hesitation. Is this because of some hypothetical possibility that he won't be able to lead or because it's impacting your attraction? If it's the first, then it's a moot point, because you can't guarantee any man is going to lead. Even men who show all green flags might not come through. It's certainly not worth …
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/25 02:47 PM
2

Oh, I didn't get that impression and thought you'd missed that part. I got that be was calling her a SAHM because she's on leave.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/25 05:18 PM
6

How long have you been together?
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/25 03:15 PM
4

OP isn't a SAHM. She's on maternity leave. She also says he didn't act like this before the baby.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/25 01:41 PM
6

Are you in the US?
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/25 07:45 PM
50

I don’t know if this is postpartum stress or emotional abuse, but I feel mentally destroyed. It's both. Talk to your doctor about the post-partum depression. You can't deal with your husband before you get treatment for yourself. His ex-wife called the police on him multiple times for psychological abuse. He says she was lying, but now I’m starting to see the same patterns It's pointless to say you should have looked into this before marrying him, but if you decide to leave, you might consider s…
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/25 07:07 PM
9

You've been together for a few months. You've met in person a few times. You feel like he deliberately says hurtful things. You can't even truly date in person. Both of those are pretty reasonable dealbreakers. This seems like a waste of time.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/25 10:39 PM
6

Well, there are two things to consider. Are you being irrational and pestering him with silly things on a regular basis? Because the question you mentioned in your post was intended to "see if he knows" you. That's such a trap and it's unkind to put him in positions like that deliberately when you've met in person, what... four times? Five? Why should he know you to this extent? If this is an outlier and he's mocking legitimate concerns, then that's a red flag. In that case, you need to decide i…
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/25 10:13 PM
28

This is the only relevant question, based on the information you've provided. If he's 30, have a serious conversation about where the relationship is going. It's been a year and a half. You don't need to waste more time on someone who's just having fun.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/25 10:08 PM
11

How long distance are you? Did it start in person? Have you met? If you can't date in person, you can't effectively communicate. There's nuance, from tone to body language. He's clearly not understanding you and you're not understanding him. If you're not spending the majority of the relationship getting to know each other face-to-face, you're wasting your time.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/25 10:05 PM
1

Oh, I was agreeing with you and furthering your point. I'm sorry if it came off as an argument.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/25 04:28 PM
3

This guy just wants DM's.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/25 02:53 PM
8

Now, coming to your friends, if they are saying ‘men are trash. Who cares’, no need to cut them off from your life, it’s just that they aren’t the friends you want to talk relationships about. Good luck, OP This is absolutely the answer on what to do with friends like this. If they can't respect OP's boundaries then she simply shouldn't discuss them with them.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/25 02:41 PM
8

We can't forget that putting a negative connotation on body count to someone with a high body count will illicit a hostile reaction. This is true, but this wording won't change that hostility. Women are notorious for taking things personally and making them about themselves. This statement will just imply that casual sex makes someone empty inside. No matter how a woman with a low number tries to justify it to a woman with a high number demanding justification, she's going to take it personally.…
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/25 02:38 PM
2

I’ve always seen it differently, the world has never been perfect, and it never will be. This is, statistically speaking, the safest the world has ever been of you're living in a first world country. I'm not sure people actually believe these reasons they give.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/25 02:07 PM
62

It is your body and if you don't want to let men use it without commitment, that is a perfectly valid choice. I had friends like this in my twenties. They mocked me for having a number of one at 27. They mocked me for not having kissed anyone but that one. They mocked me for taking things slow with my husband. It was "just a joke" when they said it, but of course if I made a joke about their one-night-stands, I was a judgemental bitch. In hindsight, I realize this was their own insecurity. I had…
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/25 02:00 PM
5

None. You're looking for good men, not ones absorbed in internet ideology to the point they identify by it.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/25 08:40 AM
1

Thank you! I think another wake up call for me was when I was thumbing through my online dating parameters and had literally messaged or talked to all the men in my radius who seemed to even vaguely line up. We definitely have this idea that the options are limitless, because of dating apps. The men who fit your parameters and for whom you fit theirs, though, are finite.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/25 04:50 PM
5

I got divorced at 23 from a psychopath. I'd miscarried a year earlier. A year before that, my best friend at the time lost her infant daughter, to whom I was extremely close. That cured all baby fever for awhile, in addition to the fact that small children have never really been my thing. For a time, I went back and forth on whether I wanted to marry and have kids again, until one day when I was 26. I rarely subbed elementary school, when I was working two jobs, but I needed as much as I could b…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/25 04:08 PM
1

We're probably both right in different relationships. I just find that when men yell or throw things, it's immediately titled abuse. When women do it, it's just drama. In reality, mose abusers probably don't stick to one method, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 03:58 PM
2

If you can afford a digital calendar/family hub for everyone to view, I think that could be really helpful. I recommend the Skylight calendar, but there are a lot of different options. Black Friday would be the best time to buy.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/25 08:06 PM
2

There are plenty of attractive men you can have chemistry with who aren't criminals. This guy wasn't too good to be true.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/25 07:08 PM
6

I've been seeing this guy for a month now and he's exactly, perfectly my type - tall, fit, amazingly beautiful blue eyes, seems to have his life together, family oriented, and we have great chemistry. Hot isn't a type. I am gutted and I don't know how to bring it up with him. My friend is trying to convince me to break up with him but I don't know what to do. He has a good job but when I looked more into it, actually his boss has the same last name as him, and they have the exact same colour eye…
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/25 07:02 PM
2

This was my first thought. Unless a man is hitting a woman or vice versa, I doubt either of them is registering it as abuse. I also think women tend to be a bit more obvious in their emotional abuse, with name calling and screaming. Men are more inclined to manipulate and belittle. Obviously both are capable of all of these things, but because we tend to stereotype the genders, we often don't acknowledge that it's abusive either way.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 06:48 PM
25

The Red Pill has always had grifters and incels as a large part of their community. I've been reading these spaces since 2011. It hasn't changed that much.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/25 02:04 PM
20

Don't date Red Pill men or men who tell you about Red Pill ideology. Men who need to be instructed by the internet on how to be "alphas" or good leaders are neither. This is something the ECs and mods tell every single woman who asks. The men's spaces are for men. What they want directly contradicts what women want.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/25 01:58 PM
4

You shouldn't have.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/25 01:50 PM
6

He told me a few days later that my rejection made him feel a bit hurt, and that he doesn’t understand why the previous situationship put in much less effort and received sexual favours, where he had been steadily showing me consistent interest and planned a nice date, and is receiving sexual rejection from me. Boo fucking hoo. He doesn't get access to oral because someone else did and you stupidly told him about it before being in an established relationship. This man is easily the most physica…
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/25 01:47 PM
8

Please, no platitudes. I need the harsh truth and actionable advice, the kind only this community can give. Help me figure out how to choose my future happiness over my current, destructive lust. You just got it, OP. The post history is now hidden. Convenient.
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/25 01:39 PM
2

I think a lot of the confusion here comes from mixing up normal masculine traits with negative behavior. Being assertive, decisive, or firm is not bullying. A bully uses hostility, intimidation, or control. An assertive man uses clarity, boundaries, and responsibility. Those are very different things, and a lot of modern women blur that line based on how something feels rather than what it actually is. No. They aren't. Every good quality has a bad extreme. It's all a sliding scale.
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/25 01:12 PM
1

Stop looking for validation online.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/25 04:14 PM
3

If she didn't want to answer, she could have redirected. She did, though. If she didn't agree that it was a lot to ask for, she could have said so and asked for his list. You insult his conversation skills when hers kind of suck, too. Personally, I think his response was probably boiler plate, because this is just a question he asks. It was on OP to be more savvy in response. People have these screening questions, male and female, today. His might have included a clunky delivery, but it wasn't a…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/25 04:13 PM
2

You probably should have just broken up with him like an adult. Both of you need to gain some maturity before pursuing another relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/25 04:10 PM
3

Make it less sweet. Kiss his neck with an open mouth.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/25 04:52 AM
4

In the past when we’ve talked about similar things he has said that he feels loved when we both take care of our roles without asking each other for help and less loved when that’s not fulfilled. I feel loved when everything goes exactly my way as planned and I don't have to do anything extra, too. That's not reality, though. Typically, my husband bathes the kids Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday, because I'm really pregnant and it's tough to do right now. Some days, however, we have something else …
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/25 04:49 AM
6

I don’t know what to do. I really don’t. I keep just asking God for help. I’ve been trying to not shame him for these things and engage with just the fantasy but they always escalate into him wanting it to be real. Red Pill is amoral, so I won't comment on his sexual fetishes in a vacuum, but he should absolutely be shamed for forcing you to participate. Leave. That's what you do. That's what God would have you do, whom I mention because you mentioned Him. Go. Now. Yesterday. Save yourself while…
/r/RedPillWives22/11/25 04:09 AM
1

Unfortunately, I've faced certain events in my life that make it hard for me to desire sex. I also work in a high stress role which has affected my libido. OP talks about her preexisting sexual issues. I wasn't claiming her distaste for this is a sexual issue.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/25 10:19 PM
2

She's 21 according to her post history.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/25 10:09 PM
4

Make him wait... for how long?
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/25 10:07 PM
2

Oh, it was an absolute disaster. The girls could get out of the baby gate i had set up. They helped themselves to the formula. At one point, my freshly painted wall was painted with cottage cheese. The baby was four months, so he was definitely the easiest, but it was awful. I didn't sleep pretty much at all for those weeks. I'd stay up all night painting and go get a coffee at 6am so I could paint all day.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/25 04:01 PM
24

The alternative is a deliberate life of singledom. This question isn't new. Dating has always sucked. Pick a sitcom, any sitcom, and there's a 50% chance that was a major premise. If it was worth it then, it's worth it now. I went on a lot of bad dates. There was the one who stood me up, the one who openly mocked my faith, the one who ghosted me and tried to sell me diet pills two weeks later... every single one of them was worth my husband and babies.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/25 12:09 PM
7

Maybe invest in some tech that makes cleaning easier, such as a Roomba, air purifier, and steam mop.
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/25 10:53 PM
17

Essentially, despite his reassurance, I am worried that he is only saying this to be nice and eventually he would grow resentful that he is doing all of this work both in and out of the house while I get to spend his money, not worry about a single thing, and pursue my hobby. If you're worried, hire help. I would normally tell you to trust what he says, but I actually do think this arrangement could lead to some resentment if you're only making slightly more than he is and he's doing 75% of the …
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/25 09:58 PM
15

This isn't "perfect in all ways." This relationship sounds horrible. I'd skip the birthday and all future encounters.
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/25 06:30 PM
5

You're welcome! You're making more effort than most and that's how you meet someone.
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/25 05:33 PM
7

Oh, I wasn't implying you were sending or posting nudes. I just remember the one time I posted photos in a tankini, not even a bikini, as a social experiment. The comments were appalling. I just meant that some things that are totally okay to wear in public send a different message as an online dating profile introduction. If you're not concerned about that, I'd look at the text of your profile a little more closely. Also, don't feel obligated to entertain the wrong men out of politeness. When h…
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/25 04:15 PM
10

I agree that you're not being passive, but you're entertaining the wrong men regardless. Stop talking to them once you get any sense they aren't serious. Perhaps reconsider your profile and whether or not you're sending the right message or being too vague. Reevaluate photos as well if you think your body is the main attraction. Remove bathing suit photos and post photos in a flatter dress. I think this is probably entirely in your control and you're just missing some message you're sending unin…
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/25 03:38 PM
2

Disgaree. Asked the right way, in the right context, it can just be two people getting on the same page early on. He might have been missing that context, but it's not an inherently bad question from either sex. He should be just as prepared to answer the question, though. It's on OP for not being savvy enough to ask.
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/25 03:34 PM
6

Yes, I was told I couldn't have more children after my twins and the complications from their birth. Nine months later, we were still on the fence about an embryo transfer when I found out I was pregnant. Everything went smoothly, so we went for four and now five.
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/25 12:11 AM
10

He doesn't have to be the bad guy for this to be too much of a dealbreaker for both of you. At 25, not married, and this sexually incompatible, I do think it's worth reconsidering. You both seem pretty unhappy with the sexual arrangement and forever is a long time.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 09:47 PM
8

Thank you. We did IVF and want to use as many embryos as possible. Only baby number three was unplanned. He was the miracle we were assured would never happen.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 09:45 PM
12

I love all of this and I'm so happy for you. I think most of your advice really applies to all ages. Maybe a 22-year-old can be a little choosier, but they're still dating humans, not avatars of perfection. It's also worth noting something we never talk about here. Age is an ever-moving goal post. At 33, I worried I was too old to be a first time mom. At 38, with baby number five on the way, I find that sentiment absolutely ridiculous. So while 42 might seem old for a first marriage, in 20 years…
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 08:02 PM
1

Women tend to have a lot more buy in on things like this, as well. It's easy to have a mindset that painting or assembling furniture is the man's job, but that's not necessarily fair id the man doesn't actually care about redecorating.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 06:52 PM
10

If a woman is more feminine in a relationship with a masculine man, then a single woman is less feminine or not as feminine as she could be. According to whom? There are all kinds of reasons for women to be single, whether they're working on themselves physically, spiritually, educationally, professionally, recovering from a previous relationship, or just not interested. While I would caution any woman who wants marriage and family not to spend too much time in this space, there's nothing inhere…
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 05:25 PM
3

Also someone who's eager to learn about his faith. If nothing else, OP should use OCIA as an opportunity to make some good friends.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 04:31 PM
8

I painted my entire house with four under four underfoot last summer. My husband couldn't have cared less if the house was painted or not. His contribution was watching the kids when he came home. That was about it. Edited to Add: He works full time. Taking care of the kids and house on his own for nearly three weeks while I painted actually was a significant contribution that I don't mean to belittle. He just didn't paint or tape off.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 04:11 PM
4

Yeah, sexual proclivities are individual to the person and the couple, but OP shouldn't feel obligated to have degrading sex. If he can't get into sex without this kink, it's a fetish and that's not on her to entertain.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 03:56 PM
18

To the extent that he needs to degrade you? Not common. You're not the only one with issues around sex, here.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 08:46 AM
24

He probably forgot that the previous exchange was him expressing how frustrated he was at me saying "no" - basically that he held up his end of the deal in the relationship, being a provider man, but I wasn't following through on me end. And how "let down" he felt by me, plus a list of things he'd done for me recently (in contrast to the fact that there was no reciprocation on my part). Did he mention that this sex was particularly degrading and you'd expressed that that was, specifically, your …
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 08:45 AM
8

We are all works in progress. The problem with putting off dating until you reach the right weight, master specific socials skills, get the tattoos removed, is that these things might never happen. You may always be curvy, never quite master flirting (my stars was I bad at it), or abandon said tattoo removal because it's extremely painful, expensive, and takes a minimum of ten sessions eight weeks apart. You just can't hold yourself back based on some arbitrary and vague marker of perfection or …
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 08:31 AM
1

Delivery is probably what matters most here. I can see judging the guy for not being savvy enough and sidestepping the question... but that takes its own savviness, which OP didn't show in her response.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 08:01 AM
9

Yeah, I think OP could have followed up with her own request. "Well, what are you looking for?" I wouldn't necessarily block him, though.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 12:50 AM
25

Yeah, I don't think i agree with the red flag comments. It's not the worst idea to be forthright about want you want, male or female. OP says she's blocked him. Without more reason, I think that might be a mistake. I wouldn't fault a woman for the same question.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 12:49 AM
11

Do you think this is an appropriate question under the circumstances? Genuinely curious, because I can't decide.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 12:42 AM
2

I am absolutely a person who calls out nonsense posts where the OP volunteers sketchy information and then gets super defensive when people discuss it, which you did from the very start. Then you followed up with the parent comment I responded to by implying everyone else was judgmental for mentioning this man's relationship status. I'm sorry the conversation didn't go the way you want, but you shared this information. You didn't mention this as a throwaway detail in a comment. It was a large po…
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 12:36 AM
61

Initially, I was with the people saying this question is inappropriate, but you literally gave him a laundry list of what you're looking for, so I don't think his asking was out of line here. You could deflect from the question in the future, if you're uncomfortable with being so direct, but you did bite this time. In this case, I'd just tell him what I bring to the table. That's going to differ from person to person. My version would have looked something like this, at the time: "I'm educated a…
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 12:33 AM
3

You've been dating for three weeks. There's barely anything to leave, especially when he's married to someone else. That rule doesn't apply here. You don't control Reddit anymore than you control this thread. I can follow and contribute how I like. I was actually super diplomatic about my previous comments, because you were already defensive. I was trying to get you to elaborate as to why this wasn't that big of a deal. You got snarky with your acknowledged "actually..." comment and I bowed out.…
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/25 12:20 AM
3

You opened with this information and referred to it as his one "major flag" in a post about feeling insecure in a new relationship. Your second paragraph is a defense of this "major flag." You absolutely knew it would be a big deal. It's super weird that you're so defensive of people mentioning it.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/25 11:31 PM
5

Yeah, the process might be involved. Googling someone to get it started isn't. Best of luck with your married man.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/25 09:27 PM
6

How long have they been living as though divorced? You see him asking you about how to resolve it as a green flag, but it's coming off as performative the way you tell it. It's not hard to get divorced. He could have Googled this at any time.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/25 08:49 PM
8

Why isn't he divorced?
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/25 08:01 PM
2

I don't hate you. I do think you need to seek therapy. The fact that you can only relate to men half your age really hints at some mental issues, as well as the struggles you seem to have around consent. Even if you spent one nice day together, without pressuring him to do things he doesn't want to do, it's still concerning that you struggle so much to see why that's not okay. I hope you'll consider professional help.
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/25 05:00 AM
6

At a certain age, not moving forward with life plans would probably be a turnoff for most men. People want to see some level of dedication, ambitious, and accomplishment, if only because it demonstrates how the person would do as a spouse.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/25 12:34 AM
3

Oh, I'm sorry. Yes. Totally different. Perhaps you could do a thriving garden?
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/25 10:50 PM
8

If you can count how many times you've met and there's a strong language barrier, it's not a relationship. You say you're here to learn to do better, but you're not paying attention to advice you're receiving. If you want to be considered more mature, leave 20-year-old men alone. Yes, the TikTok obsession is also sending that message, but so is the lack of a real job. Work retail or in a warehouse if you must, but work and leave this young man be. It doesn't matter if he's initiating. You're too…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/25 10:19 PM
9

Are you actually in a relationship with this man? At the moment this Ukrainian guy named Nazar is reluctantly able to do videos with me, he speaks in Ukrainian only and I can understand him half the time and we were thinking of doing comedy videos. This is not a relationship if this is the man you're discussing. This is you taking advantage of a young man in a war torn country who can barely even communicate with you. If you want to do better, do better and leave this poor young man alone. If pe…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/25 10:11 PM
5

You can buy a few acres and put a trailer on it, farm that bit of land as best you can. It doesn't have to be 300 acres.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/25 09:33 PM
4

According to her post history, I don't even think she's dating this guy. She's harassing and stalking him.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/25 07:19 PM
10

HE SAID NO. He's not your fucking replacement pet. What is wrong with you?
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/25 06:41 PM
10

That's good. You also need to consider dating men over 24/25. This man is too young for you. He's in a very vulnerable position and you're taking advantage, whether or not its intentional. Edit: Based on your other replies, this is entirely intentional. You're a bad person.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/25 05:10 PM
6

He just does not understand that being kind and loving also extends to acts of service that are simple as cleaning the kitchen without being told to… Yes he does. That's why he's blaming you. He knows it's a problem. He just doesn't care and things are good for him.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/25 03:01 PM
5

You're not stuck. It might feel like it, but until you have a kid with this man, you're not.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/25 02:59 PM
18

I should’ve vetted better, I should’ve not overextended myself like this at the beginning. You're not married. You're still vetting. He kind of sucks. Call it. Seriously, I'm about to have baby number five. I have been sick in the morning through basically every pregnancy. It's Saturday and I can hear my husband doing dishes and scolding one of the kids for something so I can lay here and feel like crap. Where do you want to be in that situation? Kids will make this 10x worse.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/25 02:57 PM
23

As a woman who wants marriage and a family, do you think it's best to focus on those things almost entirely or to live your life as if you're going to be single forever so that you have a solid ground to fall back on in case you indeed never marry? These are two extremes. I did neither. Finding a suitable husband takes effort. You have to work on your appearance and personality, balancing both so you're still living in a way that feels authentic. You have to make the effort to date, be that join…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/25 02:54 PM
8

One of my homeschool teens, from when I was a librarian showed up at my farmer's market table last summer. She was 19 with her 39-year-old boyfriend. Her mother was a teen mom and was 36 at the time. I didn't say anything about his age until she messaged me a few months later asking for permission to use me as a reference and said they broke up. She'd ended up in a domestic violence support group and had decided to join the reserves to cope. If this man were 25, dating a 42-year-old, it would be…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/25 02:35 PM
14

Edited to Add: OP, you have some serious issues with consent. I'm going to recommend this video that clearly explains it. https://youtu.be/oQbei5JGiT8?si=fyydbUgmmQ8OtacA You're 37 and constantly harassing this young man to keep in touch with you at all times. He's trying to make something of himself working construction, while you're barely working and pressuring him to be in your TikToks so you can... what? Be a 37-year-old influencer with your boyfriend who could be your son? If you were a 37…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/25 02:25 PM
9

There are so many issues in this relationship. You're 25. Don't shackle yourself to this man. Run.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/25 02:16 PM
9

Let him.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/25 02:15 PM
6

Is it normal to hold her hand while they sleep and rub her feet?
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/25 10:55 PM
6

It's eerily reminiscent of an SVU episode.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/25 10:54 PM
6

OP was ready to dump this guy for saying she was basically a guy a few weeks ago. I don't think OP has the best judgment if that was more concerning than this.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/25 10:53 PM
9

I feel like this has to be obvious to OP. I need someone to paint me a word picture of how this works the first time this preteen crawls into bed with them and their boyfriend during a sleepover. This whole thing is... abnormal.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/25 10:52 PM
13

Yeah, OP is still vetting... poorly. Even if all of this happened, this kid is twelve. Fundamentally changing their relationship, even if he is 100% committed, is going to be a nightmare. They seem to have more of a husband and spoiled wife dynamic at this point. I know nothing about OP and I know she can do better.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/25 09:33 PM
16

You're not an asshole, but I think you're taking on a lot of unnecessary drama for a childless single woman at 25. For additional background he did mention that he gets these deppressive dips where he stays for months and thats what he said happened last year but he also mentioned it was around the same time that his ex started seeing someone and he felt like he lost his best friend because they were together for over 10 years It's great if people who share a child can maintain a friendship, but…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/25 09:04 PM
10

Any guy who makes it into this much of a thing is also just probably not worth pursuing.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/25 03:24 AM
12

You got a lot of it before.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/25 11:40 PM
9

I’ve been depressed for months just dwelling in shame. For fucks sake, this is still not that big of a deal. Your ex was a dick, because he had had plenty of casual sex too, if I recall. Stop letting him make you feel like shit for something you can't change that he did too. He sucks. I feel frightened to experience sex before a commitment is established, as being “pumped and dumped” is a horrible feeling. At same time, I don’t want to make a future partner feel like I desire them less or that I…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/25 11:38 PM
3

No one in my husband's family used daycare, until we decided we would both work. I was really sick after nearly dying in childbirth and hated being away from our girls. He hated paying for daycare. We both hated how little time we had for the kids and each other and just life's chores. Because he grew up in a family that valued SAHMs, he was totally on board with my staying home, as long as we could swing it financially. I think it would have been a tougher decision for him otherwise. As it is, …
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/25 05:14 PM
6

This is sooooo true. I had a cousin who stayed home, despite wanting to work, because as a hairdresser, it made no sense to pay for daycare. I could have kept working as a public librarian, while giving all my paychecks and then some to daycare until the kids were in school, so I wouldn't lose raises and benefits. My SIL quit her job as a mechanical engineer so she could be with her kids, but her husband is director of finance at a company and works really long hours. It's possible at every inco…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/25 02:25 PM
7

She answered your question. Your preconceived notions about SAHMs don't entitle you to her private financial decisions.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/25 02:01 PM
4

- My husband wants to retire early. This means saving a lot when you're young and living way below your means. That's cool with me, I want him to retire and look forward to when he doesn't have to work and we can spend oodles of time together. I am supportive and active in him achieving his financial milestones.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/25 12:53 PM
4

This is not the best answer. My husband made $52k a year when I left my career. He supported a family of 6 on 57k until very recently. These people insisting he has to be a 1% earner are regurgitating internet talking points. In a HCOL city, he'll need to make more, but not 1% earner more.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/25 12:42 PM
3

I don’t think men around your age will really understand the reality of becoming a parent and the value of having one parent be able to stay home. My husband and I didn't even realize this until we had our twins. We always thought I'd work, until the reality of a two income family set in. It sucked. We got no time with our babies, were constantly doing chores at home, and spent every dime on daycare. He made $52,000 a year the day I put in my notice.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/25 12:40 PM
2

I specifically mentioned split custody because widows and widowers are different. They certainly have their own complications, but they're not the same.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/25 12:27 PM
9

This is simply not true. Plenty of people are doing this on modest incomes, particularly in low cost of living states. What you need is someone who finds value in having a SAHM. If you're religious, there's a lot of crossover. If you're not, you'll need to find someone traditional, though secular. These men do exist. They're rarely in the age range you're likely dating.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/25 12:50 AM
2

I am a firm believer in the half plus seven rule. It almost always applies. You divide the older partner's age by half and add seven. Anyone below that is too young. It works on the low end. 21/2 = 11 (always round up) + 7 = 18 It also works on the high end. 42/2 = 21 + 7 = 28 These are maximum ages. Everyone has their own limits on this, but this is a well-known measure. In OP's case, she wants marriage and children, so this man is just too old for her, especially since he clearly doesn't want …
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/25 11:14 PM
2

Yeah, there's a time to accept that the available men are going to be divorced with kids, but until then, I think women really underestimated how much drama it entails. We're told to be non-judgemental and give everyone a chance, but if you marry a man with a kid and split custody, the most ideal situation is that your own kids have to wait to have fun until their sibling is home or you're the jerk excluding the stepchild. That means splitting weekends and holidays and birthdays. It means having…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/25 11:08 PM
74

Don't date married men. I know that reads like a petty comment, but really and truly, a lot of women make this mistake. If it's really over, he'll be divorced. Divorces aren't that hard to get... unless they are, in which case you really don't want to be involved. If it's over, it'll be over. Yes, you did make a mistake by dating someone who was still married (and especially sleeping with him), but he's the one who made the commitment. You can learn from this and move on. He'll always be the man…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/25 08:01 PM
4

All right on the money. 42-year-olds are just the wrong guys to take it slow with. Even one who does want kids can't dispute the reality that developmental issues are more common when the man is over 43. He's also going to need a caretaker much sooner than you'll want.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/25 07:37 PM
18

I think it's good to worry about pickiness. Too many women don't. At 24, I definitely had some unreasonable standards and didn't realize it, like requiring he be 6' tall without realizing how limiting that was. The men out there are finite, even if the apps make the options seem endless. I once told a friend of mine that I would rather be alone than settle. He told me "That's fine, as long as you mean it. You might actually end up alone." He had a point. I remember thumbing through my matches at…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/25 02:02 PM
30

Single 42-year-old men don't usually want kids. If they do, it's in their profile.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/25 01:48 PM
33

He sounds like an eternal bachelor trying to play you, but not enough info for that to be clear. Disagree. There is definitely enough information for that to be clear.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/25 01:48 PM
22

The 42-year-old is too old for you. You're 24. I'm not going to call him a predator or anything, but there's a reason he's not dating women closer to his age. He either can't or doesn't want the commitment they'd demand. You're in totally different stages of life. Even if you don't realize that, he does. You're a young, hot, sexual fantasy for him, nothing more. The 31-year-old would be fine if he weren't an insecure liar. Making out in the car is relatively innocent, as is a last-minute date re…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/25 01:47 PM
2

I love this take on Cinderella!
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/25 01:03 AM
2

Oh, the validity of the Hot Crazy Scale. Barney Stinson might be a parody, but he's got some wisdom. Fully agreed on the marriage plan. If OP wants to stay where she is, she needs to prepare as if she's entirely single. Relying on marriage as even a possibility is short-sighted and potentially a way to get herself unhappily attached. It's more likely she'll sabotage every relationship in the meantime, though, attempting to secure a guarantee.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/25 09:17 PM
1

Genuinely asking, but would this be different than finding a good YouTuber? I get the appeal of a recurring trainer, just curious about the value of a one time one-on-one.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/25 06:14 PM
1

I don't think a personal trainer is going to be covered under this price limit.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/25 04:04 PM
5

It's been a year and a half and you're both in different places now. Just ask him.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/25 01:57 PM
8

If you want to maintain the friendship or even civility, you should really let this go before it gets even more dramatic. He was infatuated and called it love, only for you to suffer the fallout. Now he's being honest that he doesn't love you. Listen to him.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/25 04:42 AM
17

It's been a few months. It's not working out. Move on. This is way too soon for this drama.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/25 04:01 AM
4

Yeah, it's good he has the information, but especially early on, that's about all she can do. Maybe when it does get closer, she'll have more options, but for now, this is it.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/25 08:09 PM
13

I think talking about this as an assumption is probably the best way to go. As much as OP might want to be married in two years, there's no guarantee that's how this will go for her or him. This really should have been a first date conversation. "Well, in two years, my Visa will expire and I'll have to move back." It actually does sound like he knows this, though, so I feel any additional mention is just going to come across as marriage pressure or am attempt at manipulation, especially in a new…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/25 04:50 PM
41

You don't. He knows the visa ends in two years. He can do what he wants with that information.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/25 04:35 PM
3

I think this is all pretty normal at that age.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/25 04:21 PM
5

Absolutely, though I definitely think a 21-year-old deserves more grace on this than someone approaching 30. At this age, I think most people date for a good time and if it becomes more, wonderful.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/25 01:57 PM
10

I’m Colombian, bilingual, college-educated, debt-free, five figures saved, in shape, can cook well, and have traveled to 10 countries. I dont see that as something to brag about, but generally speaking, are qualities most men would value in a partner. This actually is a problem a lot of women have, especially college-educated ones who make good money. They tend to think these things should bring the equivalent, but men just don't place as much value on them. It's not that education and finances …
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/25 05:52 AM
20

I think this is just a learning experience. You read this man's private thoughts, reflecting some intensely popular and overused psychobabble. It seems to have colored your opinion of him, despite claiming he was wonderful to you. In the future, I'd hope you'll remember this and know better. However, I don't think you sabotaged this relationship. He clearly wasn't ready to settle down and that's okay. You're 21. Not very many people find a match at that age. As for how not to have unrealistic ex…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/25 04:49 AM
39

Despite all this, I’m struggling with the fear that I may never find someone who treats me the same way, and I worry I’ll constantly compare future partners to him. I'm sure that's true. This is a pretty tall order, which is why he was unattainable in the end. The next guy might only be 5'10" and unable to fly you to Paris. He also might buy you a ring. It's all trade-offs. You can't have everything in a man, because humans are flawed. That doesn't mean you can't find someone really great. At th…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/25 12:24 AM
16

Now I’m confused. Is he genuinely seeing me in a more serious light this time, or am I overthinking it? How should I proceed from here? He's being pretty direct with you, so I'd just suggest the same. "What's going on here? Are you looking for a serious relationship with me or something casual again?"
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/25 08:29 PM
6

Let me put it this way: Who would you rather date — an arrogant but successful man who pays the bill on your first date, or a kind, genuine man who’s financially unstable and socially awkward? Given these terrible options, I would choose the arrogant successful man, because financial irresponsibility and social awkwardness deeply impact a man's ability to support a family. That said, the choices are not just between the asshole and loser archetypes. There are confident, successful men who don't …
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/25 09:46 PM
4

It sounds like you do a lot right now, but my advice would be to just double down on that. Make sure his laundry is the only thing on his plate when he comes home. Clean, cook, do the groceries, but also take care of any gift buying or wrapping. Stay in budget. Only ask for an opinion if he'd really care. Decorate for the holidays by yourself, as best you can. Maybe accept that this is not the year for the 50 foot Santa he always sets up or whatever the equivalent. If there are traditions he loo…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/25 12:25 PM
3

You're not being insecure. Your husband has a problem and it is going to impact you both in the long run if he doesn't get it under control. from someone who’s actually not married Don't take deep sea diving tips from people who just really like beach decor.
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/25 11:58 AM
5

My anecdotal experience reflects the overall research outside of Reddit and my own social circle, so yes it does matter more to the point being discussed. Have a good day.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/25 05:48 PM
6

It might be a Christian culture thing, then. I used to be in the church where the "don't ask, don't tell" culture was more prevalent. One of the reasons I left was because as I was hitting my teenage years people were encouraging me to find a girlfriend from within the church, and I'll just say I valued monogamy more than the girls there. So I could see local culture playing into it. I've worked in public libraries, which is the opposite of Christian culture. I've got friends in rural Texas. I s…
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/25 05:36 PM
7

I'm not that old, I obviously don't speak for every man, and I know this will ruffle feathers, but I've never met a marriage material man (or woman) with this mentality, and I have a lot of long-term couple friends. I've met a lot of men and women who just prefer not to know. I live in a deeply conservative state and have discussed this with liberals and conservatives alike. These are people of all ages, some early 20s, others 30s, other 40s, even my older relatives. I'd actually say most don't …
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/25 05:02 PM
7

Two people mutually agreeing that the past is the past is not the same as concealing. Couples make this arrangement all the time, especially ones who meet a little older. Not everyone wants to know this stuff.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/25 01:09 PM
3

Oh, I don't disagree. I think women can be particularly bad about under valuing work ethic and that go-getter attitude. You're absolutely right that not having it in one area is usually a sign that they'll lack it in another. However, a lot of excellent hard workers lack attributes like emotional intelligence and empathy. I know, living in the South, where masculine men are a dime a dozen, this can definitely be an issue. It's certainly a whole package deal.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/25 10:16 PM
16

I thought I found a suitable match with my now ex boyfriend, but after discussing my sexual/ relational past with him he understandably lost interest. Going into college, I thought it was normal to hookup with guys as part of the dating process, but this has left me with a body count of 7 that I am deeply ashamed of. Your ex is allowed to want this information and you're allowed to tell him it's none of his business. Would that end in a breakup? Surely, but honesty did, too. I say this as a 38-y…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/25 10:10 PM
5

This isn't a terrible thing to consider, but I've known some very hard workers who are complete assholes.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/25 09:43 PM
25

I'll add an inability to get a job, literally any job. If he can't get fast food work, drive for Amazon, deliver door dash, work at Walmart, it's because he doesn't want to work.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/25 07:57 PM
14

There is at least a 40% chance she misunderstood a hookup request.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/25 04:17 PM
5

Yes. If people tell you it's "dangerous" to rely on a man, they mean financially, particularly in the longterm. It actually is harder to get work as an older woman and retirement does compound. These aren't things not worth consideration. However, it's also worth considering how happy you'll be working while your children are small, the toll it will take on your relationships with them, your work, your marriage. When my parents divorced, they sold their house on 10 acres for around $150k. Today,…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/25 03:40 PM
6

You need to discuss this at a time when he's not stressed from work and neither are you. Perhaps on a weekend, you two can sit down and work out a daily routine, such as him coming home, taking an hour, doing chores for 30 minutes, and getting the rest of the evening. The problem seems to be more that you can't find a way to articulate this in the moment. That's because you shouldn't. Pick a low stress moment and make it clear that this is a mutual discussion on how your days will work now that …
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/25 02:02 PM
12

There are as many answers as there are men. The same goes for how much they care about your career, by the way. Some men do care, for a variety of reasons, including social status, income, working in common fields. Men aren't a monolith. One man might mention passions specifically in reference to your career. He might love his job and want someone who can relate. He might mean hobbies. He might mean volunteer work. He might mean friends and family or religion. The question is, what do you mean? …
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/25 01:30 PM
6

There are different careers that make it easier or harder to reenter the workforce. For example, teachers and nurses are always needed. You just have to keep the license active. You can also work until you have kids, building up a retirement that will continue to grow while you're at home. You don't have to put yourself in a position without options.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/25 11:48 AM
13

Thing you agreed on when dating aren't completely settled "How many kids do you want?" "I don't know. I've never really thought about it. I guess three would be nice, since there's three of us." "I've always wanted four, but everyone says I'll change my mind, so maybe." Baby number five arrives December 19th. A lot can change in just a few years.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/25 02:16 PM
11

Stick around. Read the posts. Read the sidebar. Take what works for you and leave the rest. I have a master's degree and had a career I loved. Now I stay home and prep for baby number five in December. There's nothing wrong with what you want and it's not "dangerous" to rely on a man if you have certain safeguards in place. It's better that you know all this now than in 15 years.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/25 01:33 PM
4

🤣 In all honesty, while I mostly blame OP for earnestly asking this, I think the real question is "Can she ever forget this?" If not, she should probably move on.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/25 03:17 PM
5

Then you made a mistake by earnestly asking about your looks*, and he either continued to dig a hole by honestly answering OR (if he's a bit sharper) he negged you by downplaying your looks and praising personality. There is a third option that no one's mentioned. This guy doesn't even know OP. It's quite possible that she asked this question and he just doesn't really care how she takes his honest answer. He clearly wasn't overly cruel or anything, just far too honest. They're not officially da…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/25 01:50 PM
3

He made a joke about a math class I never took, because it's not required in high school and wasn't required for any of my bachelor's or master's degree. People make jokes. Anyone who has ever had a serious relationship has made a joke that didn't land or went too far, male or female.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/25 09:12 PM
8

truelove
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/25 04:53 PM
7

Oh, I'm sure she's not, but to ask in detail is pretty lacking in her own social awareness. Don't get me wrong. He shouldn't have asked for a critique or been so honest. However, I don't think a man who realized that wouldn't have been put off by this. She's waving her own red flags with this behavior and she's the one asking for input. We shouldn't absolve her of her own responsibility in this.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/25 03:04 PM
5

No woman should ask these questions of a man we're not even sure she's met in person.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/25 01:59 PM
11

They both seem incredibly insecure.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/25 01:58 PM
18

I don't even blame the dude, really. Don't ask questions you don't want answers to, especially from someone you just met, who doesn't know your insecurities. Everything he said seems fair enough and men aren't usually the ones who date without attraction, hoping it'll develop. OP is the one at fault for asking.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/25 12:58 PM
5

Anything that genuinely interests you isn't trying too hard, but I'd say golf, basketball, softball, shooting, hunting, fishing, hiking, canoeing, climbing, a lot of outdoor activities. If you want to try something like krav maga or fencing, the crowds would mostly be male. Really just avoid crochet club and painting parties, at least for meeting men.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/25 05:17 AM
13

Everyone hates the idea of dating apps. It's still the number one way people meet. At your age, though, you have more ways to meet in person than you ever will. Apps would probably be better saved for a few years from now. In the meantime, are you part of a youth group or small group at church? Do you go to school? If so, there should be groups you can join that align with your values, whether they be political or religious or even hobbyist groups. You mention the gym, so how about some kind of …
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 10:53 PM
4

Everyone feels their issues are niche. Your body count is near irrelevant. The behavior that led to it is what needs resolving.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 08:01 PM
9

Yes. Both are entirely reasonable questions that answer a lot about a person's history, emotional stability, and the way they approach relationships. If you don't want to answer them, that is absolutely your prerogative, but it's also his (and yours) to ask in the first place. Edited to Add: I'm talking about a budding or established relationship, not a first date interrogation, just to be clear.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 02:41 PM
8

You can find free sources of therapy online. There are self-help gurus and books all over. You don't have to and shouldn't wait for official therapy to work on yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 02:40 PM
8

"I don't share that information. It's personal." Some guys want to know. Many don't, especially as you get older. They're allowed their dealbreakers and you're allowed yours.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 01:29 PM
15

Are you okay with spending your life alone? If not, then take a break and get back at it when you're feeling better about the whole thing. Everyone faces rejection. Don't take it so personally. Not every guy will ask about your number. At 27, most probably won't. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Take some time off from dating to do the things you enjoy and gain some confidence. Then get back out there. Few women meet their husbands without effort.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 01:28 PM
19

If they had truly overlooked it, you'd be married. The only person who thinks this is suddenly an issue is you. Get on anxiety medication if necessary. See a therapist. Plenty of awkward people marry.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 09:59 PM
5

No one goes from beautiful to bridge troll by 29 without an acid attack or something. Your appearance is not the issue. I can't even say for sure that your social awkwardness is the problem. The self pity is absolutely an issue that seems to be long standing from this post.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 09:58 PM
13

All my life I found solace in one day I would find a husband and get married. Why? This doesn’t happen without effort. You're 29, not 49. That's plenty young, absolutely young enough that this talk is self-pitying in the moment at best, off-putting to any prospects at worst. No one wants to spend time with someone who hates themselves and makes excuses. Do what you can with what you have. Plenty of average and even ugly people get married. Get some form of therapy going, whether it's professiona…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 09:21 PM
8

"If we're not gonna make it, it's gotta be you that gets out, 'cause I'm not capable. I'm fucking Irish, I'll deal with something being wrong for the rest of my life". Matt Damon, The Departed. He was actually not a great guy. I think men are sometimes just more determined and comfortable in their misery. My husband would never leave. Wouldn't happen. That's comforting to know, but it also doesn't mean our marriage has been or always will be pefect.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 06:26 PM
3

Why not choose someone based on character, values, work ethic, and ambition and make your own contingency plan? Men aren't a meal ticket.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 05:26 PM
7

I agree with all of that. I also think the assumption tends to ignore the fact that you age with either man. If he's a man who's going to leave you when you get older, that's not really a factor dependent on when he acquired his wealth and success.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 05:01 PM
10

Usually single strangers
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 04:33 PM
8

Yes, it used to be mainstream RPW advice was to vet for a young, hardworking, ambitious guy with potential and build him up, because... well, I think there was a lot more realism in the sub at the time. The statistics on high earners, meaning men who only make over $100,000 aren't what modern young women seem to think they are, with the peak reaching 25% between the ages of 35 and 44. So if a young woman wants a successful man, she's realistically not going to get a finished product, or as close…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 04:30 PM
7

All relationships are an investment in potential. No one's a finished product. Edited to Add: That perfect unicorn millionaire who checks all the boxes is one bad investment/lay off/firing/pandemic away from starting over. It's all potential. What's more important is how he got there, how he makes decisions, work ethic, core values. If OP is dating between 22 and 28, they're not going to be established millionaires or anything close. Only 25% of Americans under 30 earn six figures. That doesn't …
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 03:03 PM
3

Maybe rethink your personal style. If you're a t-shirt and jeans gal and always wanted more polish, get comfortable wearing dresses. I could never master heels, but I sure tried. The same goes for makeup and hair. If you want to try something new, go for it. As for hobbies, perhaps try sole new solo ones you can do at home, when you don't know anyone. Meanwhile, consider which ones would be best to get you out and about when you're meeting new people.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 01:18 PM
29

Aside from the fact that the line of thinking that you should only consider men who are already wealthy and successful treats them like commodities and that's kind of gross, it's also just a stupid dating strategy. Men who are already successful either married the woman who supported them up to that point or have so many options, they don't have to settle down. Few are available and looking, so exclusively dating them is going to leave very few legitimate options. Regardless, this idea isn't any…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 10:46 AM
9

These things don't just take multiple years. Most of them fail. His dad started a business in a different market. Do you have any idea how many twenty-somethings are working on an app startup right now? The competition is fierce and he seems to be behind in two big ways. He has a family to care for and he's not willing to be realistic about the plan in the first place.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 11:27 PM
3

You're welcome! I'm glad you're getting help, even if it's begrudgingly. I think, in time, if you keep doing this, politely and firmly without ire, he'll stop pouting about it.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 11:12 PM
0

25*
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 09:52 PM
5

Ew to any 45-year-old man in this situation with a woman who isnt even old enough to drink. You have your whole life ahead of you. He's manipulating you because he knows that. He also knows that, at 20, you're the prize just for your youth alone. Leave. Block him on everything. Get tested. Take some time to heal. For what it's worth, I knew a girl in nearly this exact situation. She ended it, joined the reserves, really came into her own. She's doing awesome.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 09:09 PM
12

He says he doesn’t want to regret never trying to build his own business when he’s older. Ugh. He doesn't have to give it up, but he doesn't get to take the big risks that might make him successful tomorrow, like quitting his job and "giving it his all." He can't have it all right now. If he wanted that, he shouldn't have gotten married so young.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 08:18 PM
3

Yes to all of this. He's not being realistic and he knows it. That's normal at 22, but inexcusable with the commitments he's already made.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 08:16 PM
8

My husband switched jobs two months ago and our fifth baby under five comes in December. He also did this after a couple of years of working to build up his resume and see if things got better with his old employer. When he decided he was truly done, he waited until the right opportunity came up, went through a lengthy interview process, and accepted a position with better hours, a huge raise, and a much better future. Only then did he put in his two weeks, ensuring we'd have no coverage gap bet…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 07:57 PM
19

You're probably going to get comments about believing in him, supporting him, and lifting him up, but the reality is that he can't quit his job right now. That's not because you're a diabetic, though I'm sure he knew that when he married you. It's because adults with families can't just quit their jobs, drain their savings, chase their dreams, all without health insurance and with a baby on the way. That's just how the world works. He chose to marry young and have a child. He doesn't get to blam…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 07:14 PM
3

I agree with all of this. It sounds like OP might have unintentionally bait and switched her husband and treating it like it's no big deal isn't going to help her.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 06:18 PM
2

I think it's pretty clear from OP's text that she agreed to convert and her husband now expects her to do so. I can see what you're saying otherwise, but in this case, I'm not sure there's a way for it to not be a big deal.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 06:14 PM
5

On another note, private school is its own time consuming commitment that can be difficult to manage between a power couple. Someone has to take the kids and pick them up. There are weird schedule days and off days, where they get out early or just randomly don't go. You have to volunteer, often a set number of hours, but if not, you will be looked down upon for not being more active. He won't, because he has a penis, but you'll be a mom choosing career over her child and there will definitely b…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 03:00 PM
8

She's answered this multiple times. It's clear in her initial post and she's mentioned kids in almost every comment.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 02:56 PM
8

I agree and thought this too. Plenty of people can't or don't have children for a variety of reasons. Belittling their love for their spouse is unnecessary and cruel.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 02:55 PM
7

Ugh. So many people told me "It gets better." What they really mean is that you get used to how much it sucks. I still regret the two months I had my girls in daycare. Obviously not every woman feels this way, but the lie that it's not normal or natural to feel this way is deeply harmful.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 02:54 PM
7

I am afraid of maybe messing up my life if I leave him. I'm not going to hyperbolically call this man abusive or anything, but some of these things you've said seem pretty problematic in a marriage. When I had my twins, I almost died. My physical recovery was a small part of why I left my career. The girls were literally seven months old before I could lift their double stroller into the car without needing a break. He seems too focused on career success and money. Life throws wrenches. What hap…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 01:00 PM
9

They're encouraging her to reconsider because she's completely changed her priorities and goals. That's on her, not him, but even if she lands on wanting to take some time off when the kids are little or work part-time, he's been adamant that this is a non-starter for him. He's made it clear that it's his way or the highway and even harrassed her about not actively applying for jobs while in pain from surgery recovery. Valuing money over everything else, including a man's willingness to allow a …
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 12:55 PM
6

I think your word choice is being read as "stay-at-home wife" by some.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 12:51 PM
11

He seems to have an unhealthy relationship with career and money. I would reconsider this man for this story alone.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 12:51 PM
4

There are always side hustles. I spend my summers selling baked goods at the farmer's market for extra cash. My husband's supportive and watches the kids while I do, because I use quite a bit of that money on things for them or the family. It's also worth considering what else a SAHM does, beyond childcare. When we both worked full time, however briefly, it was exhausting figuring out how to get all the chores of life done and still have time for each other and the babies. Budgeting for time is …
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 12:50 PM
13

I am afraid of maybe messing up my life if I leave him. Marrying someone who wants something entirely different from you is also messing up your life. Imagine having a child with this man and leaving to go back to work before you're ready. Handing that baby over to someone else when you're not on board is one of the hardest things to do. When my girls started pre-k, I cried on and off for weeks. I had been home with them for four years. I can't imagine how I'd have felt had I missed all that. Yo…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 12:47 PM
6

I do think OP needs to sit down with her "fiance" and have a deepr discussion about this. It sounds like he's not considering her view at all and maybe that's just because it's changed so drastically. He could think she'd just spitballing ideas and not realize how seriously she feels about this.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 12:35 PM
9

OP shouldn't marry a man with the expectation that he'll change in his fundamental views, just because she did.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 12:20 PM
18

He's allowed to feel the way he does. He's not wrong for his feelings, just for being kind of an asshole about them. He's also entirely wrong about the last bit. There are studies upon studies upon studies showing that children do better with a stay-at-home parent during the formative years. The impact lasts into their teens. Regardless, you're realizing you want different things and have different priorities at the best time, which is at 25, before you're married or have sent out invitations or…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 12:17 PM
3

"Doing everything" ≠ femininity Talk to him. Tell him how this makes you feel. Stop doing everything.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 12:11 PM
5

That's not an uncommon opinion. It's also not universal, nor should it dictate your future. You want different things.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 12:09 PM
4

Ah, yes. I am speaking from the U.S. Some sources also showed 1 in 5 for the U.S., so I'm sure it varies a great deal in the land where daycare is just assumed.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 12:08 PM
34

I don't know if "most" women is accurate, but I do think the stress of a two-income household, where both parents work 40+ hours a week is a big contributor to divorce. We talk endlessly about what a woman loses when she leaves her career and never even touch the subject of what she loses in a divorce.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 04:09 AM
10

This is the problem with treating engagement as a stage of the relationship. There's no set date, not even a timeline. Still, OP feels she's too invested to change her mind when she's changed her priorities.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 04:00 AM
15

A good daycare or nanny is going to require budgeting as well.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 03:51 AM
77

The logical part of me knows he's right, but it feels like I'm locking away my soul's deepest desire just to keep this amazing relationship afloat. He's not. A third of today's families have a stay-at-home parent. Plenty of people are doing this every day. I left my career four years ago and have never regretted it. I already have a path back into a new career when all my children are in school, but I'll never get this time with them back. You're only 25 and you want different things. Engaged ai…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 03:31 AM
7

I think the issue here is that he seems to be refusing to help that small bit when she is overwhelmed, at least without acting like she's an insufferable nag. While I do think there's a large population of martyr SAHM's, I also think we tend to ignore what men get out of the arrangement, which is quite a bit if walking the dog seems like a major chore. He does seem to have the idea that because he earns the lion's share of the income, he doesn't have to do more. He either sees value in what OP d…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/25 11:30 PM
16

It's irrelevant who pays if she also does her share by caring for their child and home and doing consulting work. It's their money. As the other commenter mentions, though, they're at her parents' house, so it's likely free. Regardless, if this is his constant attitude about doing anything around the house, it's fair for OP to be frustrated. He lives there, makes messes, eats food, and fathered a child. He doesn't get to claim leisure time 100% of the time he's home, even if he does work hard.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/25 11:04 PM
17

If they're both on vacation, as is the case in OP's example, this doesn't really apply. OP gets to take breaks too.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/25 10:45 PM
7

I really was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. I totally get how frustrating it would feel to be doing everything while he sat there playing with his phone if it's an all the time sort of deal. Even if it's just doing some basic tasks that are relatively reasonable for you to do yourself, it would be incredibly grating as a norm. I was just pointing out that as a one off, this particular example wasn't so bad. Just remember that your goal is help. You can't necessarily dictate how he …
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/25 08:31 PM
5

Does this mean I’m not red pill? Or are there red pill relationships where it is still built on love, teamwork, and the general dreaminess of finding your other half? You don't have to be Redpill to get value from the toolkit. Generally speaking, we advise women to avoid men familiar with TRP, because they do tend to have varying levels of misogynistic views. If your boyfriend likes these videos that you find cynical or sexist, I'd consider how he actually treats you. Does he talk about your rel…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/25 08:17 PM
8

It's only necessary to be aware of it if you have a baby with someone who will cheat. There are so many times in life when you can't even have sex, whether it's during infertility, a high risk pregnancy, post-partum, when you're depressed because your mom died, sick from cancer treatment, exhausted from raising kids, struggling with menopause symptoms, and plenty I'm sure I'm missing. If he's going to cheat because your belly isn't flat or you're talking too much about which crib mattress to buy…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/25 06:44 PM
18

For example, we are on “vacation” just visiting my parents and we’re at their house. It is 9:30 am and I’ve already breast fed our baby, made her breakfast, walked our dog, made the dog breakfast, done a load of laundry, eaten my own breakfast (cereal, because time), gotten dressed and done makeup for the day, changed the baby’s diaper twice and put her down for a nap. Maybe you're using a bad example, because it's recent, but this is making breakfast, walking the dog, putting some laundry in th…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/25 05:37 PM
22

Life has fat seasons, busy seasons, and frumpy seasons. It's okay if pregnancy is all three. Do what makes you feel most comfortable. Wear makeup, buy the cute maternity clothes and lingerie... or don't and stick to t-shirts and leggings. Any man worth being with isn't cheating just because you're having his baby. I've been pregnant since 2020 and my husband isn't exactly the slim cowboy I married these days either. This is a season of life.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/25 05:16 PM
16

I think you should end it. It's one thing to date a dad. That's already a lot of baggage, but this is a dad still in the midst of baby mama drama. There are plenty of good men out there without this. Find one.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/25 02:46 PM
20

No. You're 25. You don't need to date single dads yet, but damn I commend you for being open-minded. There are some women here who could really benefit from that attitude. All that said, this isn't just about the kids. It never is. It's about the ex's drama. Maybe in a couple of years, this guy will be in a place to date, but if this is his relationship with his ex, he's not. You don't want to be in the middle of this. I also cannot stress this enough, but at 25, you don't have to.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/25 01:16 PM
4

Sitting at a hotel bar sounds more like a hookup strategy than a dating one. If the women advising you do that are single, that's at least worth considering. I think the recreational sports is the better move. Dating apps are very regional and timely. What's popular in one place isn't in another or even a year later. I'd recommend having a couple of profiles on free apps, because anyone who's willing to pay is also using the free stuff. Personally, Instagram also feels more like a hookup strateg…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/25 01:13 AM
5

I was in this place at 23. I was newly divorced, in the midst of my own glow-up, starting grad school, and working two jobs while living alone in the suburbs about 30 minutes outside the city. I don't think it's realistic to hope to find stable men by placing yourself in the areas you mention. That reads like bad Reddit advice, honestly. The men who pick up women in hotel bars don't necessarily scream commitment to me. I think you'd be better served by joining a gym, maybe a church if you're rel…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/25 12:10 AM
8

It is extremely unlikely that he's purposefully digging at your insecurities. I once asked my husband "You know what I don't understand?" He responded with "Calculus." I got really upset, because I'm very sensitive to being made to feel stupid and thought he was calling me dumb. He wasn't. He was just being a smartass and making a stupid joke. He's never joked like that again. People just don't always communicate perfectly, especially men being funny.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/25 02:03 PM
3

It is dismissive, because it is a joke, even if it's a dumb one. Insisting this is negging in an established relationship with no history of negging and advising that she actually leave or give him the cold shoulder is ridiculous.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/25 03:20 AM
10

He didn't say it. This commenter did. It (potentially) means that he's saying she had qualities that he likes in men and it makes her easy to be around. I have a friend who says this to his wife on a pretty regular basis and absolutely means it as a compliment. Sure, OP's boyfriend might be being an asshole, but without much evidence of past similar remarks, that seems like an extreme assumption.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/25 02:08 AM
6

So every man who says something stupid to his girlfriend as a joke is negging her?
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/25 02:05 AM
14

I was 27, doing a New Year's resolution book display at work when I came across Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough, by Lori Gottlieb. I thought it sounded terrible and sat down to read it and laugh, but then I realized how relevant it all was, to me but also other women. I read the whole thing in one day. At the time, I'd thought I was really being open-minded in my dating requirements, but Gottlieb made some really good points that I realized I'd been ignoring. She also painte…
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/25 02:35 PM
4

He doesn't love you clearly. He is looking for a woman to wife up. It sounds like he's had several women he could "wife up" and OP is the only one he's seriously considered. His responses seem hes misogynist and patriarchal even if he succeeded in hiding that part from you in these past few months. Financial awareness is misogynist and patriarchal? Yes, OP, go for a progressive poor guy. You putting in financially to shoulder his responsibility = even better. He can load you with more stuff. Cla…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/25 12:53 PM
14

It made me wonder if he sees me as someone who simply fits within his limits, rather than someone he truly envisions a future with? He's uneasy about marriage, because of past partners, yet he's still open to marrying you. He wouldn't be considering it if he didn't care about you. Stop reading into that. I'd be more concerned about his timeline and requirements than why he has them. At 30, wanting children, you need to figure out how long he really wants to wait. Financial aspirations can become…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/25 12:47 PM
6

I agree. If we're going full on traditional, it's also pretty traditional for a woman to work a second shift. I bet every one of our grandmothers could chime in on coming home from work and being responsible for everything in the home. It's not unlikely that OP will hear that argument in time when they're both picking and choosing what is and is not traditional.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/25 03:48 PM
12

You should be concerned. If you're exhausted now, throw in a few kids. My husband and I have a pretty traditional dynamic. He works, while I stay home. He drops our twins off at school and will until February when his schedule changes, but I do every doctor's appointment, special school day event like "Donuts with Grownups", the teacher conferences, plan the birthday parties, decorate for the holidays, plan the sentimental family events, put together Halloween costumes, buy and wrap the gifts, d…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/25 01:33 AM
32

Since then, he’s softened slightly, admitting he regrets calling me selfish but still believing it’s my responsibility alone to handle domestic work and he’s worried that when I would fall behind on keeping up with work and the house that I stopped believing it was my job. When that wasn’t true, I was just worn out. Over the last year, his views on traditional gender roles have become much more rigid, and while I also value traditional dynamics, I always imagined them as a partnership — one wher…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/25 01:22 AM
–

People have made some good points about these men, but what you're looking for is advice on being approachable. You've mentioned RBF and honestly, I say this kindly, but you're going to have to get over it. "That's just how my face is." Sure. That's how all of our faces are when we're staring at our phones. When you're talking to humans, male or female, prospects or not, you have to be deliberate about how your face looks. This is true in so many parts of life. It sounds like you're on the prett…
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/25 10:08 PM
5

This is quite the fanfiction based on literally nothing.
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/25 07:19 PM
10

This is the problem with just wanting "to fuck." You end up in complex situations, potentially with guys who seem perfect, but you're still not in a place for a relationship. Continuing this is only going to complicate things more. If you're really not looking for anything, end it while you can do so amicably.
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/25 06:52 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter