agog09 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	What to do at 39 I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you how I wish I had acted in somewhat similar circumstances. Married for 20 years, two kids currently 16 and 11. I am the sole provider. My wife cheated, and informed me about it a bit more than 1 year ago. She didn't have any kind of a plan to go with that revelation, somehow expecting me to sort it out for her. We have been co-habitating since then. I don't recommend the co-habitation route, but I also wouldn't change it, as that is how I am address…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/06/26 12:27 PM
3	What are the signs Hostile and horrible to me for a long time -- this was true in my case as well. It would manifest as irritation/complaints/rage about the most trivial domestic details. Additional signs: extensive/increased time spent with divorced girlfriends always on her phone physically withdrawn (within the house, bedroom, etc) separate vacations	/r/Divorce_Men	26/05/26 09:51 AM
1	What do I want from dating? Maybe sex, but I think positive reinforcement more. That's an inspiring story. If you don't mind sharing, how did you two meet? I'm 56, and while I feel like I could have something with someone else, the practical aspect of finding that person is just daunting.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/05/26 04:30 PM
1	49M single dad of three rebuilding life—looking for advice from guys who’ve been here Don't overthink it. Just pick something that's important to you, an aspect of your life. What do you want that to look like in the future? What is something you can do towards that goal? How will you recognize if it's working? Example: My youngest child is 11. I don't want this situation to affect his development into a confident, capable young man. There are a lot of ways I can support that goal, by remaining present in his life, by staying regulated, along with day-to-day things like helping h…	/r/Divorce_Men	07/05/26 10:50 AM
5	49M single dad of three rebuilding life—looking for advice from guys who’ve been here You are so right. This is how I bring order to chaos at work, so of course I should be doing the same in my personal life. I just created an accountability chart along the lines you suggested. Thank you! (ps: mid-50s, 2 kids, still co-habitating)	/r/Divorce_Men	06/05/26 09:23 AM
6	Do you need to hear this? At 14 months in, after 20 years of marriage, yes I needed to hear this. I am trying. I am present for the people who want me in their life -- my kids. I am somehow thriving at work. And I am looking forward to a day when this gaping hole in my identity will have closed. Thanks for sharing.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/04/26 12:52 PM
2	Feeling so alone Not easy to integrate into society if you didn’t grow up here. Add that on top of the usual isolation that comes from being the household provider and an involved father.	/r/Divorce_Men	07/04/26 06:30 PM
4	Feeling so alone I'm going through something similar. I'm in Germany, and even if I do speak the language, well, it's Germany. Let me know if you want to chat/talk.	/r/Divorce_Men	07/04/26 02:43 PM
5	How do i move forward? Married 20 years, 2 boys ages 15 and 10. She decided our marriage was over, began planning her exit and 1 year ago let me in on the secret, including her affair. We have been co-habitating ever since. It has been brutal, but I am here to tell you that it is doable. We stopped speaking entirely (her initiative). I tried to be civil, but if she doesn't want to speak, I will just enjoy the silence. She would like me to leave, but I have no intention of leaving my children. Maybe your wife doesn't h…	/r/Divorce_Men	12/03/26 11:12 AM
9	Lack of accountability You say that „other than this“ things aren’t bad at all. I would be careful. In my marriage, the „happy wife happy life“ nonsense is at the root of what destroyed it. She literally adopted that as a life principle, so that anything she thought would make her happy was allowed (cheating) and anything that made her unhappy was not to be tolerated (me occupying the kitchen, being audible). She recently added a twist to it, to say „children are happy when their mother is happy.“ See, she’s doing thi…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/02/26 08:00 PM
2	Social media has destroyed everything in this world I don't know. My STBXW sent me a link to one of Sexton's interviews as a way of explaining/justifying her choice to end our marriage and blow up our family. Like, so many marriages end in divorce, I shouldn't be surprised or upset.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/02/26 01:42 PM
2	How far along are you and how are you doing? 19 years married, 11 months since she stopped hiding her affair. Still co-habitating. We are in Germany, btw. 2 kids (15, 10). She wasn't making any effort to actually progress with separation and divorce, so I had my lawyer invite her and counsel to mediation. That made a huge difference for me, as it was a step closer towards the end. I am grateful for being able to exercise some agency in this process, which up to now has been extremely one-sided. If nothing else, it let her know that her fan…	/r/Divorce_Men	17/02/26 12:21 PM
5	5 months out and AI hits me with a new word. "Contempt". Same here. Contempt, resentment, disdain. I started feeling it like 4 years ago. Kept telling myself that was crazy. Why would she treat someone she loved like that? What had I done to deserve such treatment? I did nothing other than provide for her and our children. Turns out that doesn’t matter.	/r/Divorce_Men	14/02/26 06:02 PM
1	7 months in… Congratulations on the achievement. It is no small thing, to have silenced the noise. I say this as another guy in his 50s, co-habitating with a bitter, angry STBXW, filled with love and concern for his children. In my case, it's been 10 months of stressful co-habitation. Kids are a bit younger (15, 10). I also don't know when this is going to end. I am trying to get my wife to agree to a supervised conversation about the terms and division of assets, both of us with our respective counsel. Hopi…	/r/Divorce_Men	04/02/26 01:41 PM
4	How to get mental clarity and energy back? I’m 8 weeks post-blindside, and still prone to bouts of anger and sadness. But I can start to think in terms of weeks again (this week, next week) as opposed to being literally day-to-day. When I was at 2 weeks, I really couldn’t think further than the current day without spiraling. So I tried not to. It may sound weird, but something that really helped was taking a cold shower, for like 2 minutes with a stopwatch, to empty my head of all thoughts. That allowed me to focus on what I could do tha…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/05/25 06:03 PM
2	Am I going insane?? What was the specific thread in AskWomenOver30? (Link or title?)	/r/Divorce_Men	03/05/25 08:07 AM