I woke up today and everything just hit me all at once. The separation, only seeing my kid half the time, all the terrible things my ex has done, and my current financial stressors due to one of my jobs going another way. It broke me because I have been doing it mostly alone without support from friends or family. Also, I live in another country where I barely speak the language so it has been a whole different form of isolation.

I am just not sure how much more pain I can take. My system has been taxed to exhaustion for months, I rarely am able to even feel anything and when I do it exhausts me, and it is hard to make friends in this condition. I am medicated just to make it through the day. My therapist is somewhat supportive but even then it is not enough as a genuine person being near me. I also struggle to trust others due to the actions of my ex so it I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I am crying as I write this.