TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

No_Chemistry8953 Archive

View 28 posts and 138 comments by No_Chemistry8953 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
66

RantNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 11:16 AM
63

RantNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 01:01 PM
47

RantNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 09:27 AM
35

RantNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 11:05 AM
34

RantNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 11:48 AM
27

RantNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 12:55 PM
23

RantNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 02:47 PM
22

Need SupportNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 03:05 PM
21

RantNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 04:05 PM
14

Need SupportNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 02:04 PM
13

No_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 01:54 PM
12

No_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 05:16 PM
12

RantNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 04:31 PM
12

Need SupportNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 11:49 AM
11

Need SupportNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 11:02 AM
10

No_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 04:43 PM
9

RantNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 12:17 PM
9

Need SupportNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 05:34 PM
9

Need SupportNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 11:16 AM
8

RantNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 09:25 AM
8

RantNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 10:07 AM
8

No_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 05:09 PM
7

Need SupportNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 10:01 AM
7

Need SupportNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 07:15 PM
6

RantNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 12:36 PM
5

Need SupportNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 05:09 PM
3

RantNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 08:27 AM
2

RantNo_Chemistry8953/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 03:46 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Mine drained me dry and then when there wasn’t anything left of me, did the silver-bullet approach and falsely accused me of DV. Now she pretends as if she is the doting mother for our son in front of her friends and pretends as if I am dangerous.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 12:43 PM
5

Sounds like narcissist behavior. She is planning on making you out as the bad guy of the relationship while she walks away with no accountability. My ex did the same and completely erased her roles in our relationship. She cheated so many times, lied chronically, and eventually assaulted me. She lied to the police and told them I had assaulted her and then kept records of our fights (only started recording once I started getting louder) and now she is pretending to be the “brave woman” who escap…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 11:15 AM
2

I look back now and I can’t see what she actually provided me except pain. I am not even sure if I even know what love is considering how much I accepted as “love”. It is clear I fell for a narcissist so I am working on myself right now.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 11:03 AM
4

Best I can say about my psychiatrist is she prescribes really good drugs. It was really hard in the beginning to have the opposite of support. I think part of it is I live in a country that still has fairly conservative gender roles/norms. Now, I am strong enough to ignore what she says (she loves to talk) and just get my drugs once per month.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 07:05 PM
5

She said something along the lines of checking my testosterone bc I was uncontrollably crying and how it makes sense that my ex left. How it was not very manly to be crying all the time.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 04:57 PM
2

My psychiatrist
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 04:47 PM
2

I’m not sure what that means
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 01:41 PM
1

I can’t even imagine the pain of that. Thankfully, it is not too late to build that necessary bond with your child. Congratulations on getting 50/50
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 08:27 PM
3

I feel ya. My ex has kept retaliating every time I have set a healthy boundary around communication. I offered her amicable divorce on 3 different occasions and she has ignored it. Now she is refusing to do any communication with me except through her lawyer. This was after I told her that I would only communicate with her about child-related issues via text and she has lost her mind about this. She has repeatedly tried to paint me as the bad guy while she refuses to accept any accountability. I…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 07:49 PM
1

My therapist refuses to give an opinion on the situation, which is a bit confusing for me
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 09:17 AM
6

Mine called the police after she had assaulted me and then flipped the script and said I had assaulted her. The cops believed her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 06:23 PM
2

Yesterday
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 09:35 PM
10

As a man going through this process mostly alone… what I wouldn’t give for someone to hug me and tell me its going to be ok. To shoulder some of the weight for a bit.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 01:51 PM
1

Look up reactive abuse. It is when someone pushes our buttons until we snap and then focus on us snapping, not their own behavior. It can be very demoralizing.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 12:38 PM
1

She’s a relationship addict chasing the next relationship fix. No matter what you do, she’ll never be satisfied until she heals that wound.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 12:12 PM
2

You are going to be okay. It may not feel like it right now, but you will. Stay away from the booze, keep looking for a job, and do things for you not her. Feel free to DM me and vent if you need to.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 05:33 PM
2

I wish I could tell you something… but my ex was as toxic as they come. My own two cents though is that marriages end for complex reasons and that both parties are equally responsible for the marriage ending. It is never one side is way worse than than the other. Us men tend to be socialized to hold all the blame though so we feel more in control.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 07:48 PM
9

I had this with my ex and she eventually filed false DV allegations against me. I’m still dealing with that in the courts. Run away
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 12:05 AM
2

I am getting ready to start the divorce battle with my NPD ex. Any tips you can give me?
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 07:35 PM
5

I know mine has recently started being kind to me in front of her friends. It only started after I set a boundary that all childcare messages should be communicated via text. I suspect she is trying to paint herself as the “cooperative” one and me as immature/crazy. She is a narcissist straight through
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 11:10 PM
2

Can it be possible to do 50/50 custody so no one gets child support?
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 08:49 PM
2

I can only sleep while medicated. In the past when I went to the gym my mood would improve, but these days my mood plummets after the gym. I do have untreated sleep apnea that I keep meaning to go back to the doctor for but life imploded and I never went back. I wish my work was low-stress but I am literally having to carry others’ pain (I’m a trauma therapist) so it leaves me drained. It is starting to get a bit better though so maybe that is a good sign. I figure I can start with trying to mak…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 07:09 PM
2

I’m in Portugal
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 06:49 PM
2

I wish but they are not exactly lining up for me right now. Any advice?
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 06:01 PM
1

What is TRT?
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 03:02 PM
2

My son is literally the only reason I am still alive today. I realize that my relationship with my son is not enough to be sustainable long-term, but he is all I have right now. I try my best to keep him away and protected from all of the divorce stuff. I can’t imagine ever trusting a woman again after everything my ex did and continues to do.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 02:36 PM
2

I have a therapist and a psychiatrist. I am heavily medicated just to function. I am just carrying too much for one person. My ex has even done the silver bullet method and accused me of DV. I desperately need friends but I can’t just unload all of this on people when I first meet them. It takes energy that I don’t have to make friends. I am one bad day away from losing my sanity.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 11:57 AM
4

It can be eye-opening to realize how little control we have over our lives. One day we can feel like we have it all figured out and the next everything is stripped away. It can be freeing if you let it be. It fundamentally changes how we view the world and other people. All we have is today. We have no control over yesterday or tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/26 01:14 PM
1

Yeah, she’s moving the goalposts on you there, bud. You have gone above and beyond for this woman and she is still unhappy. Doing more in this vein is probably going to end up doing more of the same.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/26 03:41 AM
2

Take your time. If she isn’t willing to go at your reasonable speed, then she ain’t the one.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/26 03:02 AM
3

I have a 5YO and in the beginning it was very rough. My son would initially break down crying just out of confusion and his poor body feeling the tension between me and my ex. 9 months later and he has already recognized that he gets two of everything now. Two birthdays, two Christmases, etc. He also gets to enjoy, at least with my place, a fight-free environment. I am starting to move on with life and getting closer to my son every day.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 08:34 PM
5

She filed false DV allegations against me which I am still having to deal with in the courts.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 06:31 PM
9

Similar for me, 15 years and I wouldn’t jump into a river to save her from drowning unless my son begged me to, and only then reluctantly. I have also learned the power of gray-rocking. I set boundaries that all childcare related things can be communicated via text so I don’t have to hear her voice. She will periodically try to use my son as a pawn in her games (he is 5) but I try not to let it get to me. Sadly, she didn’t change into someone else. She just dropped her covert narcissist act with…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 05:54 PM
7

Couple’s counselor here: She has already checked out of the relationship and blamed you for either all of it or the majority of it. The reason she gets annoyed when you show up for her is because it causes cognitive dissonance against the “bad” person she has created in her mind for you. It clashes against the narrative that she has created, wherein she is most likely the long-suffering wife. I would recommend pulling back and working on yourself without sharing it with her. Directly showing up …
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 05:13 PM
2

This is where I am confused too. Is he not listed on their shared house/lease? Why does she control the phone numbers? She can’t legally destroy his stuff or prevent him from coming to get it
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 01:33 AM
1

I am with you. My wife decided overnight that our relationship was over and how it was all my fault. She never took any accountability and moved on without a backwards glance. After 15 years…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 01:17 AM
14

I worry about the impact on your oldest the most. They know you as their dad and I think it would be fairly traumatic to find out you are not. Also, that would mean you have no rights to your oldest and you may not get to see them anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 02:49 PM
1

It sounds like you are a bit ahead of me. My wife has also falsely accused me of DV and has done everything she can do to paint me negatively. We will be starting the divorce process soon and I am so scared about losing custody. I also have always been a very involved father
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 05:25 PM
5

This. Lawyers tend to only listen if you have compelling evidence to use and they can milk you for more money. Most of their job is to milk you for more money.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 07:29 PM
–

It sounds like you were really brave to take the risks that you did in another country. Coming from someone who is getting a divorce currently in a country that is not mine, what you did takes a lot of strength and courage. You suffered DV from someone close to you. I also was physically assaulted by my ex and it really messes with your head. My family also did not approve of my marriage (I only found that out after the fact). My ex constantly treated me as if I was a burden as well to the point…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 06:25 PM
1

I wish I could move back stateside but my ex wants to stay here and my son’s school is here. If I left, I would miss out on a lot of my son’s childhood and he would have a split life where he was in the States during all the breaks. I can’t do that to my son. It is hard though because right now he is the only reason I am staying. My life has imploded.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 02:26 PM
12

Thank you. It is nice to be recognized for just how much difficult it is for men to go through this process. We often do not have anybody to lean on and we are extremely lonely and tired.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 02:02 PM
1

My job is not going great. I am barely making ends meet each month, especially with the cost of divorce. I rely mainly on referrals for my job so it is unpredictable at times.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 01:45 PM
2

My ex also assaulted me and is currently living it up bc she flipped the narrative and accused me of DV. I plan on serving her within the next month or so as soon as my paperwork gets put together. I think it will put a dent in her “glow up” when it is me getting rid of her.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 07:12 PM
1

Your kids need their dad. Don’t give up. They will thank you later. Keep up the good fight and explain to your kids the court situation. They are old enough to understand, even if it may not be what they are wanting or what is healthy for them currently. If possible, try to give your oldest something they can secretly record the abuse so your words actually have teeth in the court system. Sadly, dads are often not believed for some reason unless there is actual evidence.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 04:50 PM
2

I agree. This man has been cheated on! He doesn’t need to buckle down and change himself, he needs to hold her fully accountable. Get the hell out and find someone who is going to respect you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 08:26 PM
3

Feel free to DM me. Us men need to stick together. No one else is coming for us. I know how it feels to not have any/limited support.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 12:24 PM
6

Cheaters will always try to find a way to blame their partners for their own poor decisions. Don’t take it to heart. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Get out while you still can
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 12:09 PM
7

I’m with you. I thought I could save a marriage where it was known that she had cheated on me 5 times and lied about so many other things. I even trusted this person to show up to repair (they didn’t of course). I don’t know what I was thinking.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 09:51 AM
3

You are not alone and these feelings will pass, even though right now it might not feel like it. I was in a similar boat as you in the beginning and I couldn’t stop crying and losing my mind. You have us men on here. I would encourage you to make your own post so that other men can see it more. Feel free to DM me.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 08:13 AM
12

Karma will come back and bless you for your healthy choices. You are a good man and you will find someone to meet those needs.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 02:47 PM
1

Thank you for your kindness. It is really helpful
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 02:17 PM
1

I am in Portugal. I am trying to remain here as well to be there for my son. It is literally the only reason I remain. Us dads will keep riding that train to hell.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 12:39 PM
1

I am also facing the same hard decision but in another country. My son’s friends, school, and life are here and if I were to go back to the States, I would miss out on a lot of his childhood bc I would only have him during breaks from school. I have no one here in this country and the isolation and lack of support make me feel like I am losing my mind some days. All my family is in the States. My ex is refusing to relocate back to the States so I stay, even though I am profoundly unhappy and lon…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 12:11 PM
3

My wife also filed DV allegations, even though it was her that assaulted me. It is still going through the courts. My lawyer feels that nothing will happen because there is no evidence, just her allegations. It is scary as hell though.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 12:59 PM
3

I understand that level of loneliness. My ex was also a narcissist and she used and abused all the parts of myself that I shared with her. I also wonder if I will ever allow myself to open up like that with another person.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 02:56 PM
10

Just sign a prenup and then roll the dice. I feel like social media has ruined marriages even further bc it teaches people that the grass is greener on the other side. It rarely is, but people keep believing it
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 04:17 PM
2

Most of the stuff he has described is psychological abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 11:37 AM
4

I have a similar situation where my wife will not agree to a new parenting plan in direct opposition to all logic. I swear she thinks that somehow she is going to get more even though me and my lawyer do not see it at all.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 10:06 AM
0

I hear you, but I view my actions as breaking out of her control. She has treated me the way she has I think with the hope that I would just disappear so that her narrative remains the only one. Me showing up, being civil, interacting with my son counters her narrative that I am just terrible. Bonus points was that it was in front of her friends. I refuse to be regulated to a corner in my son’s life, and while I hate being civil to this person, I will do it in front of my son bc he doesn’t deser…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 03:54 PM
3

She sounds unhinged. Good for you getting you and the kids away from her. My ex is also insane and she filed false DV allegations against me as a parting gift.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 01:20 PM
1

She sounds like a peach… /s
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 12:30 PM
2

You’re not alone, even though I understand it may feel like it. Divorce is hard but it is not the end. Please call a crisis line if you are considering harming yourself. Keep reaching out on here. You are not alone and you will get through this.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 12:20 PM
1

Just to make sure I am following, you are calling your ex a total bitch because of the things she said while cleaning the floor?
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 11:36 AM
1

I have my son 50% of the time. I do not have any support with being a father right now. It is just me and my son.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 11:11 AM
1

I am going to the gym, trying to make friends, eating at least one square meal per day, and just trying to show up for my son. You are right, I feel physically ill today. I think it is just so hard that the person I went through the trials of parenting, etc can be so cruel towards me. After 15 years together…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 10:59 AM
2

This is definitely a lawyer question. Also, maybe question why you don’t want what sounds like a miserable situation over.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 03:31 PM
5

I am right there with you. My ex nuked our family, never took any accountability, and now pretends that she did not contribute to the ending of our relationship at all. I have 13 more years of her since we share a child.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 08:22 AM
8

I had the same thing. She wished me a Happy Father’s Day. This is the woman that cheated on me multiple times, has been cold and distant throughout the separation, and even filed false DV allegations. Like… the audacity to wish me a Happy Father’s Day after you nuked our family.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 12:43 PM
5

I can understand. My marriage is also over emotionally yet not legally. There is a part of me that longs for deep connection with another woman, but another part is absolutely terrified of opening myself up again. I was just hurt so bad by the last woman.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 12:08 PM
8

My wife did this when I locked her out of the house bc she was violent… She called so they labeled me the defendant and her the victim. It is a backwards world out there.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 10:16 AM
1

If you can (and if it is legal where your family is) get the niece to record these fights secretly. I think your first steps are to gain evidence that all of this happening before you can start proceeding with the legal stuff. Be slow and methodical. Best wishes to you, brother
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 12:47 AM
7

She was the only one that was unfaithful…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 05:07 PM
4

Sounds like she broke the law. Hopefully, that doesn’t come back on you in any way.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 10:12 AM
7

I hear you. My ex cheated on me multiple times and still has the audacity to claim she is the victim. She even filed false DV claims against me that my lawyer assures me will go nowhere.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 09:37 AM
2

I wish I could do it on my own but I live in a country where I barely speak the language and my ex has also not been cooperative at all.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 05:26 PM
2

That is what I am wondering. Part of me thinks, financially, I may have to wait for her to file. She makes double what I make…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 05:16 PM
5

Her friends encouraged her to cheat, encouraged her to treat me poorly, and encouraged her to try to screw me over as much as possible during the divorce process. These were people, some of them, who had never met me and never knew my side of the story.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 09:33 AM
11

Therapist … sigh
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 03:01 PM
1

You were assaulted. I understand that as it happened to me as well. It is very painful
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 12:17 PM
1

I live around 4,000 miles away from family, am currently in a toxic coparenting situation, and it is hard… I am currently living in a studio so that I can be close to my son’s school. I hope one day to upgrade
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 06:59 PM
3

I am in a similar boat. My ex is living it up while I am sobbing myself to sleep most days. She made me the villain of her story and she is having a blast. She never took any accountability and left me holding the full weight of the ending of the relationship by myself.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 12:17 PM
3

I’m at 7 months, almost 8, and I’m still in the thick of it. I don’t know if it is a medicine issue or what, but I am struggling severely. I think the sheer isolation is part of it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 10:39 AM
7

I understand. I was in my relationship for 15 years and she was a covert narcissist that destroyed my self-esteem in all areas. Feel free to send me a DM
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 03:17 PM
3

I’m right there with you. My ex decided to file false DV allegations as she walked out the door, has been manipulative and gaslighting, and overall just toxic. It is so hard to not see my son for half the time.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 08:44 AM
2

I am not in the U.S. so I am not sure what the process is here. I don’t have a personal account, only shared bank account. I’m still working on getting myself a personal account. I do not own a vehicle or a house. Most of my items are already out of the original home.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 08:35 AM
1

I’m trying my best. She knows how to push all of my buttons though… Sadly, it seems she has been doing that for a long time when we had our relationship as well. I’m trying to figure out how to not let her get to me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 08:50 PM
1

I do except for child-related things
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 06:36 PM
5

I am in a similar boat with false accusations of DV. Still in the “investigation” stage of things. It is one of the most painful places to be in
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 09:42 AM
2

You’re not alone. I struggle with PTSD as well and after a significant event that involved my diagnosis, my wife has decided I am no longer worth it. She told me, “you are no longer my problem.”
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/26 08:53 AM
1

The end hasn’t happened yet. There’s been an open investigation for 7 months. 7 months of absolute agony
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 05:01 PM
6

My wife lied to police and filed false DV charges. My lawyers say nothing will happen as there was no physical evidence, but I am still labeled as a defendant in something I didn’t do. It has really impacted my mental health. Since, she has pretended to be a victim of me to everyone she knows.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 03:11 PM
9

I’m in a similar boat with my son. It is so painful; they didn’t ask for all of this. You are not alone
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 12:42 PM
2

Research shows that if there is not progression to reconciliation by around the 4 month mark then it gets less and less likely after that.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 08:44 AM
1

I do not live in the States anymore so 988 is not applicable. I am not having those thoughts currently
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 03:56 PM
2

You are not alone. Keep moving day to day and eventually there will be sunshine at the end of all of this.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 10:38 AM
2

Thank you for sharing. It is hard sometimes to know what I am fighting for
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 12:47 PM
1

Sometimes I do have those thoughts. They scare the crap out of me…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 10:17 AM
2

My ex is also similar to yours. She has all the friends but she is a monster inside
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 07:04 PM
8

36M here, 6 months separated and heading towards divorce. I wake up in agony every day and barely have enough energy to take care of basic needs. If you want, you can DM me. I understand
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 06:43 PM
2

I’m in a similar boat. Feel free to send me a DM
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 11:58 AM
1

It was a family dream to come to Portugal but now that is all destroyed
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 08:54 AM
2

I am with you. I woke up crying today and feeling like nothing is going to work out. My life is just in shambles right now
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 08:38 AM
1

I think first and foremost, it is not your responsibility to fix your dad. You can offer support if that is something that you are willing to do, but his drinking is not your responsibility.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 12:31 PM
1

I think first and foremost, it is not your responsibility to fix your dad. You can offer support if that is something that you are willing to do, but his drinking is not your responsibility.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 12:31 PM
2

I’ve been hitting the gym, going to therapy, and eating healthy
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 11:28 AM
4

I am realizing that I struggle with self-esteem and codependency. It seems my ex may have been a narcissist that fed off of my attention to her. I am hitting the gym, eating healthier, going to therapy, and I joined CoDA. Trying my best to not have history repeat itself in my next relationship
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 06:55 PM
3

It is hard because she is the one that cheated (multiple times), hid substance abuse issues, etc and I was always the one holding her up and still showing up to repair.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 06:06 PM
3

Your dog helps screwing women!? Haha
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 08:40 PM
8

I am 6 months in and I struggle to see how I can trust someone with me ever again. I’m living in a studio bc I believed my ex that if I moved out, she would work on us. She lied and kept the family home while threatening to call the cops if I ever tried to set foot in the family home again. It is hard not to feel like I have lost everything.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 03:47 PM
4

That will be an interesting session. The couple’s therapist (if they are decent) will not capsize to your wife’s demands and try to force her to own her side of the accountability. If all goes well, that session will not be enjoyable for your wife. Here is to hoping you found a decent couple’s therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 01:21 PM
5

Getting her nails done, new haircut and dye job, new clothes, taking pictures of herself and posting them online with all the above (at least before she blocked me)
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 01:15 PM
8

I’m 6 months into separation and while I have been falling apart the whole time… she has been partying and living her best life. I don’t understand how 15 years can be forgotten about in such a short time
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 07:14 PM
6

It really does. This week is my anniversary, my wedding anniversary, and my son’s birthday. All in one week. I am tired
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 06:08 PM
5

Thank you for normalizing this. After the 150th time of waking up this morning depressed and struggling to even get out of bed, I am exhausted. I feel like everything is stuck in limbo and I can’t truly rest until something is finalized. My ex is having her “glow up” and it can feel so emasculating.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 01:49 PM
1

Maybe give couple’s therapy a shot before you throw in the towel. At least she might notice that you mean business
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 05:14 PM
6

I’m right there with you. My job requires me to be constantly meeting others’ needs no matter how I feel or what is going on with me. I don’t really have any supports or people to talk to about everything either. It is hard
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 05:01 PM
14

It seems like women are more likely to place all the blame on the man and act like they are “victims” of the relationship. Also, women have these echo chambers with their friends that agree with them without actually having both sides. It drives them crazy when they are held to the same standard.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 09:06 PM
1

I’m in Portugal
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 12:47 PM
3

That is where I am struggling. I have no family or friends in this country. I live alone except when my son is with me. I don’t speak the language to even try to engage in social groups.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 12:00 PM
1

I am currently under investigation for DV that I didn’t commit. I am also unsure if my residency will be approved in the country I am at, which would make it so I probably would not see my son for years as it worked through courts. I have been treated like a monster by so many people that have believed my ex. I am living paycheck to paycheck right now. I think what is hurting the most right now is I can no longer feel the connection between myself and my son. Like, he can be playing nearby and a…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 11:07 AM
1

I don’t speak the language of the crisis lines where I live
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 09:54 AM
1

I am not in the U.S. and I don’t speak the language of the crisis lines where I am at
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 09:54 AM
1

That’s the hard part. It used to be my son but the last few days I have been unable to feel connected to him. I can’t feel joy right now.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 09:38 AM
5

At the moment, my trust is broken. I am only 6 months in separation and the whole divorce process has not even started yet. I cannot see myself ever trusting another woman with my heart after the sheer depth of the betrayals from my ex. I invested everything into that woman and all she ever did was use and use until I am now a broken shell of a man. She completely used me up and then just walked away.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 07:15 PM
2

Thank you. Today is a day where I feel unsure if I can keep going. I feel so empty
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 06:31 PM
11

I am right there with you. She burned everything to the ground overnight, told me she did not care about me anymore, and then has seemingly moved on without a single regret. 15 years and she just didn’t care.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 03:59 PM
2

Do you mind me asking what country you live in?
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 11:42 AM
2

Sounds like my ex. The amount of mental gymnastics she has done to justify her affairs is truly astonishing at times
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 10:11 PM
23

I think they have to convince themselves that we are the bad ones in order to justify their actions
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 07:46 PM
5

I’m right there with you, except right now the custody stuff is unofficial before the courts get their hands in it. I just dropped my son off today, and it is gut wrenching. My son was yelling, “Daddy, bye bye” over her shoulder as she walked away. You’re not alone
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 07:12 PM
2

You’re not alone. Feel free to reach out. Us men need to stick together through this difficult time of life.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 05:24 PM
1

What do you mean? Could you tell me more?
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 10:23 AM
2

It’s been 6 months for me and she still treats me like I am the lowest form of life. It wears me down
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 09:32 AM
4

I’m proud of you, man.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 08:20 PM
6

I am in the same boat. We share a child so I have to see her every week. She has been extremely toxic but gives off the energy like she is the mature one. I took accountability for my faults in the relationship and she never did. She just used my accountability as a weapon against me.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 12:10 PM
3

Same, I’m really involved and then… nothing. Like I have so much time when my son is not here.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 02:13 PM
1

I worry because during the early days I was so much in grief that I do not even remember the content of my texts. I just know there was a lot of desperation, confusion, and heartbreak in them. She discarded me like I was nothing after 15 years together. It was really confusing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 10:31 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter