Anhedonia is very present

Sine_Habitus · 2026-05-30T18:36:27+00:00

The void is your friend. You did a good job by posting even though you weren't sure there was a point to it.

I was in a similar spot and my STBXW is trying to use that against me in court. I lost my job also. I was just burnt out. I'm still in the recovery phase, but it took me almost a year before I even felt like I had a "good day" and by good day I mean just not a bad day.

For me, it is just a complete identity loss. I'm a baby again. I'm having to relearn everything. I want to be able to just jump back into my old life, but I can't. What has helped the most is just doing nothing. Sitting outside and watching the leaves fall and regrow -- and now I'll have that as a yearly reminder that the leaves come back and so will I. Even if you got chopped down to the roots, you will grow back. I can't say that with certainty obviously, but it is a belief to have and a choice that you need to continually make.

In my opinion, you endured a lot because you were strong enough to; but now you're weak and you still have the mental image of being strong. It's ok to be weak. I was at the point where I was sleeping all day every day. Now I'm sleeping all day some of the days. When I watch my kid I'm happy. But at first I was just crying while I was watching him and thinking about how this isn't what I want for him. Now I still don't want this for him, but I want to be a good father for his future more than I want to mourn his future.

I'd say trust your gut. Try to listen to your body. But also try to survive. I'm open if you need someone to message

Ok_Builder_3285 · 2026-05-30T14:13:52+00:00

5 years out. It hasn’t gone away. I force myself to go through the motions with stuff as much as I can. I do all the things “they” tell you to do. I don’t experience any positive emotions, ever. There’s some stuff I just can’t even bother will anymore, because I know it just won’t matter.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-05-30T12:56:48+00:00

Yes, goes on and off, a year into divorce. Taking some time off just for yourself helps. Working all the time, focusing on other people's needs led me into anhedonia - but when I stopped and focused on my mental health and did absolutely nothing for a while, the boredom started all my previous passions and interests returned. I think I haven't experienced boredom for last 7 years of my marriage, just the feeling of being burnt out.

And for some reason I'm getting a lot of hate for it from other married men just by relaxing.

shade_throwawayhq · 2026-05-30T12:52:26+00:00

That sounds like a heavy weight to carry, but keep calling that office every single day until they pick up. It is not a failure to be in a fog right now, and sometimes just sitting in the same room as your son without forcing a smile is enough until your brain catches up.

TeddyPSmith · 2026-05-30T11:40:17+00:00

I think I’ve got a bit of this myself. I can act fun and positive but it’s an act. Lately I’ve been feeling like curling up and licking my wounds.

Have you found that you see the relationship differently as time goes on? Maybe clearer and able to see both sides of the story? I was unable to see anything but pain and my version of the marriage for a while. But as time goes on it’s like my heart is letting its guard down and opening up to seeing the full picture. I think that adds to my sadness.

Maybe there is nothing wrong with you. Maybe this is just a boring town you drive through on a long road trip.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-30T10:37:38+00:00

Yes, absolutely. It took about 6 months to start lifting. Im at 9 months now and im back to my normal self, enjoying hobbies etc.

It absolutely affected my time with my daughter too btw. Hard to be fully present.

Title	Anhedonia is very present
Author	No_Chemistry8953
Upvotes	8
Comments	12
Date	May 30, 2026 10:07 AM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1trvveo/anhedonia_is_very_present/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/anhedonia-is-very-present.1581651 https://theredarchive.com/post/1581651

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